The Ability To Start Over
by hazelblye
Summary: AU: Olivia Pope is a recent journalism graduate who takes a job with a public relations firm in order to get the fresh start she so desperately desires. She meets the owner of the firm, Fitzgerald Grant, and something unexpected happens; she starts to fall for him. What's even more unexpected is that she thinks he might be falling for her too.
1. Chapter 1

_"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." _

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

It's my first day and I'm running late. I made the poor decision to trust Abby and use her 'off the beaten path' directions to my new office instead of just following my GPS like any sensible person would. What I really should have done is map out the route a few days in advance and driven it several times before my first day, but since I literally just arrived yesterday from Palos Verdes, I haven't really had time to do anything.

I pull into the parking structure next to the massive building where Grant Global Communications is located. I park my little sports car and get out. Twenty-five years old and I still cannot drive with heels on so I stumble out of the car and put them on praying no one is looking at me because I'm pretty sure this looks extremely awkward. My skirt and blouse are slightly wrinkled from sitting in a hot car in an even hotter suitcase for 6 hours yesterday and my messy hair is falling all over the place because apparently it doesn't want to stay in a bun, which it must in order to cover the red tips I am currently sporting on my dark brown hair since I didn't have time to fix them before coming up here. I try to straighten my outfit as best I can before hastily gathering my things and hurrying into the building. There are several companies in this building and honestly I have no idea where I'm supposed to be going. I make my way into the front lobby and sigh in relief when I spot Harrison; he's the one who got me this job. He sees me and hurries over with a huge smile on his face.

"Olive!" He yells from across the room.

I immediately groan at the use of a moniker I've been trying to shed for ages.

Harrison sees my facial expression and immediately starts to laugh as he pulls me in for a hug. "Sorry, sorry, I forgot you're trading in your old nickname for a hip new one." He says with a grin.

I roll my eyes, "Hey, I've been going by Liv since 6th grade."

Harrison laughs and holds up his arms in defeat, "All right, all right, I guess I can start calling you Liv now."

"So, how have you been?" He says as he grabs my favorite oversized Longchamp bag from where I've dropped it on the floor and we walk toward the elevator engaging in small talk about my much unexpected move to San Jose. We step in and he presses the button on the top floor.

I gulp a little in nervousness. "So, top floor, huh?" I ask him.

Harrison lets out a small laugh; "I don't think I've ever seen you nervous before."

"Shut up!" I hiss, "I'm not nervous." I keep my eyes focused in front of me so I don't have to look him in the eye because I am so lying about that.

Harrison laughs again, "Oh come on, you're totally nervous. Is this this first time ever? I seriously don't ever remember a time when you were ever nervous. This is pretty funny."

I turn my head briefly and scowl at him, I hate that he's right. I don't normally get nervous, I've always been good at public speaking, good at talking to strangers, just plain good on my feet. It's a point of pride for me.

Harrison puts his arm around my shoulders and squeezes, "Don't stress, you'll be fine." He says, giving my shoulders a squeeze and then letting his arm fall back into place next to his side.

"Oh yeah, that would be much more easily done if I was actually aware of what my job is going to entail." I say, making it pretty clear that even though I previously denied it, I am definitely nervous.

"You're going to be working with Fitzgerald Grant." He says, grinning deviously at me.

I roll my eyes because I think he's being sarcastic with me, "Harrison, obviously, he does own the company."

And again, Harrison laughs at me, for some reason I am wildly amusing to him today. "No Olive, you will be working directly with him."

Just then the elevator dings and we arrive at our floor, Harrison exits and I pause for a moment before I realize I should be following him, stunned at what he's just told me. After a moment I emerge from my stupor and catch up to him, "I'm sorry, but I don't feel like I'm qualified to work with the owner of the company." I say, a bit dramatically.

Harrison turns to me as we reach an office door along the far end of the beige colored hallway of offices we have just passed. "Actually, he approved your resume himself."

He turns the door knob of what I assume is his office door and walks in, sitting in his chair behind his desk and motioning for me to sit in a stiff looking leather chair on the opposite side of it.

Once he is seated I give him the annoyed look my Dad claims the women in my family are famous for.

Harrison looks directly at me and drops the pen he's just picked up, "Okay, honestly he didn't care so much about your lack of a resume, in fact I'm pretty sure he stopped reading after 'Berkeley School of Journalism'."

I scrunch my forehead in confusion, "So, the head of a major PR firm prefers Berkeley School of Journalism graduates over actual qualified individuals who probably have degrees in public relations?"

"He actually got a masters in journalism from Berkeley too, and you're fine, you've got an undergrad degree in communications, that's mostly what you'll be doing." Harrison says, further intriguing me about the mysterious Fitzgerald Grant as he begins to rummage around in his files for something.

"Seriously?" I ask, a little bit confused as to why someone with a Masters in Journalism from Berkeley would own a PR firm.

Harrison shrugs and continues looking for something in his filing cabinet, indicating he has no idea why either. He grabs a folder and pulls it out, handing it to me. "At some point today sit down and fill these out, they shouldn't take too long. Then when you're done just bring them to me." He says, handing me a small stack of papers from the file. He then looks at his watch, "Oh, you're new boss will be out of his meeting soon. We should probably head over to his office so we aren't late. He hates it when you're late."

I gather my briefcase and nod, making a mental note in my head to not be late, and I follow Harrison past a few conference rooms to a small sitting area across from what I assume is the corner office that Fitzgerald Grant undoubtedly occupies.

Harrison takes a seat on a plush leather armchair in the little waiting room area where Mr. Grant's secretary's desk is and motions for me to do the same. My rigid body sinks uncomfortably into the leather armchair and I can't get comfortable so instead I sit at the front of the chair and lean forward so I can look around at the artwork decorating the office walls. It's interesting and doesn't strike me as typical artwork for this business, not that I would know considering I've never even set foot in a PR firm before today, but I assumed the walls would be lined with successes, you know, famous clients they have done business with, because from all of Harrison's stories I know it's quite a few. But the artwork here looks like actual art you would buy in a gallery, collages and mixed media artwork that give the mostly white and black room a beautiful pop of life.

A moment later two men emerge from Fitzgerald Grant's office, they are dressed impeccably in suits and ties and both of them have short, perfectly cut hair. A moment later, the man I assume is Fitzgerald Grant himself, walks out and the men say their goodbyes.

I'm a little shocked at the man before me. He is tall and lean, his curly light brown hair is slicked back on his head but in a way that still makes it seem easygoing, there is a curl near the peak of his hairline that I assume falls down in his face a la Clark Kent when Fitzgerald Grant is focusing on something really hard. I'm mostly surprised because I know he's in his late forties and honestly I didn't really expect him to be so handsome, I never really assume older men are going to be attractive unless they're George Clooney or Tom Selleck.

As I'm staring unabashed at him he looks directly at his secretary and taps his watch; she nods and writes something down in a book. I assume this is shorthand for keeping track of how much time he spends with his clients.

Then he turns to Harrison and me, Harrison stands up and I follow suit. Fitzgerald Grant spots us and walks over.

"You must be Olivia Pope." He says, the corners of his mouth turning upward to form a beautiful smile, and offers me his hand.

I nod and reach my hand out to grasp his, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Grant," I say with the most normal smile I can muster up after I've just compared my new boss to Clark Kent in my head. My hand touches his, his much larger one engulfing my tiny one, his hand is strong and warm and I feel a small jolt of electricity surge through my body. I hope he didn't notice.

But he probably did because his smile turns into a quizzical look, but that may also because I've been holding his hand for far too long. Finally I release his hand and place my own behind my back with the other one as if I am standing at attention during one of my Dad's PT sessions with me and my sisters from childhood, this must look awkward. I really _really_ hope he didn't notice and I'm just making things up in my head, if he mentions this I think I may die. I make a mental note to punch Harrison for never showing me a picture of Fitzgerald Grant. That bastard.

"You as well, and please, call me Fitz." He answers with a dashing smile that makes me swoon a bit.

I nod my head furiously, I want to speak but I'm afraid I'll say something embarrassing like, 'I would love to call you Fitz'. Thankfully Fitzgerald Grant doesn't let my awkward silence linger too long and says, "You have a beautiful name, Olivia."

I can feel myself shiver when he says my name; I've never had a problem with my name but I've never been in love with it either, but when he says it I feel like it's the most beautiful name in the world. I'd actually like him to say it again but I'm also nervous that if he does I'm going to topple over and destroy this most likely incredibly expensive glass table that is separating me from Fitzgerald Grant. In fact, I like the way he says it so much I can't even bring myself to ask him to call me Liv.

Unfortunately Harrison does that for me.

"Actually, she prefers to go by Liv." Harrison adds in, winking at me like he deserves a piece of cake for finally remembering the name I prefer to be called.

If I didn't think Fitz would notice, I'd scowl at Harrison.

"That's disappointing." Fitz says, in mock disappointment, though I can't help but get the feeling that there might be some actual disappointment in the undertones of his voice.

I smile awkwardly but keep my mouth shut because what I want to say is, 'No, keep calling me Olivia because when you say it, it sounds like you're reading a romantic poem instead of talking to a toddler.' But I shouldn't say that because it would be wildly inappropriate. So I'm keeping my mouth shut.

Harrison laughs at Fitz's comment and then looks at his watch, "Well, I've got a call with a client soon so I'm going to let Grant terrify you with the details of your new job and the frightening amount of time you're going to have to spend with him." Harrison and Fitz both laugh at this comment, it must be a running joke between them, thankfully their laughter covers up the snort I accidentally let out from hearing Harrison refer to Fitzgerald Grant as just 'Grant', of course he does that. Harrison is such a bro and doing that is a total bro thing to do. Fitz playfully punches Harrison on the shoulder as they both keep laughing, there's probably more to this little inside joke that I realize. I know they're "bros" because Harrison has told me stories of some of the crazier things they've done while working together. But seeing it in person just makes it kind of hilarious.

Harrison then looks at me and gets serious again, "Good luck, your first lunch is on me so just come get me when this tyrant lets you out of your office."

I nod, not really sure what to say to this but I look over and see Fitz is laughing again so I break a small smile as I watch Harrison walk toward his office.

As I watch Harrison walk into his office my stomach drops, I don't know how I'm going to deal with listening to Fitz talk about my duties and whatnot because his beautiful face is too damn distracting. I mean honestly, why would god allow a man in his upper forties to be this good looking? It's just not fair. Plus the way his hair is styled keeps making me think of Clark Kent and therefore I'm picturing Fitz in a Superman costume.

I turn to Fitz and luckily he speaks first, "How about I show you to your office and then we'll get started?" He asks me.

I nod again; still not sure I should open my mouth in fear of what comic book mumbo jumbo may come out. He walks me into an office directly next to his own, from what I saw of his office I come to the conclusion that my office is probably about half the size, though still very large.

We enter the office and he walks around the desk to pull out the chair behind it, "Welcome to your new office, have a seat." He says kindly.

I smile at him, trying not to look like I'm trying to stare into his Mediterranean blue eyes, but really how am I not supposed to stare? I set my bag down on the floor and sit down in the chair, Fitz rolls me forward slightly so I am sitting right at my new desk, he then walks around the front and plops himself down on one of the two leather armchairs in front of my desk.

"What do you think?" He asks, motioning around the office with his hands.

"I feel more Matt Murdock than Lois Lane." I answer without thinking. Crap, I've just referenced not one, but two comic books within fifteen minutes of meeting my new boss. This is going great.

"Sorry." I stammer, "That was a reference to…"

"Daredevil and Superman." Fitz finishes my sentence for me, a wicked grin on his face.

I'm pretty sure my jaw just dropped all the way to the floor but I still can't seem to close my mouth and respond. Fitzgerald Grant reads comic books. Of course now he just went up a notch on the attractiveness scale.

Fitz of course bridges the silence for me, I think this may become routine for us, "So how does this feel like you're Matt Murdock?" He asks.

I finally close my mouth and pull myself together enough to answer him, "Well, this is just similar to my parents' law offices, you know, fancy lawyer-style furniture with fancy leather chairs to make you think being in a lawyer's office is comforting, even if that's just an illusion. Whenever I'm at their office I just always imagine that's how Matt Murdock's office looks."

"And you're a journalist so you always imagined yourself in a bullpen type office like Lois Lane." Fitz says, still smiling but staring at me a little more intently, just enough to make me feel uncomfortable, though that isn't really hard to do when you're an attractive man.

I find that I'm gripping the armrests of the chair like they're the railings of a very narrow staircase and I try to casually let go and put my hands in my lap without looking like I'm attempting to look more casual. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound offensive, I'm a big fan of Matt Murdock and this office is beautiful. It's so much nicer than I ever would have expected my first office to be." I can feel my voice go up half an octave as I speak, how is this man making me more nervous by the minute?

Fitz smiles at me again and shakes his head, "Oh no, no offense taken. When I graduated from grad school I didn't see myself ending up in an office like this either. I assume this isn't exactly what you wanted to be doing after you graduated from school. What actually drew me to your resume was Berkeley School of Journalism, it's always a pleasure to help out a fellow Berkeley grad." He says, his eyes lighting up when he says Berkeley.

I sigh and ease up a little bit, I love to talk about Berkeley. I smile brightly at him, "Best two years of my life." I say, being completely candid. "I only wish I had gone to undergrad there as well."

"Best six years of my life." He says cheekily.

"You went to undergrad there as well?" I ask, Harrison mentioned he went there for grad school but didn't say he went there for undergrad as well.

"Business Administration and Art History." He says.

I shoot him a confused look, business administration and art history don't exactly mix well, nor do they make any sense along with a masters in journalism.

He laughs at me, "I know, it doesn't make sense to get a masters in journalism but halfway through my junior year I saw Fred Friendly speak and I was just mesmerized by him, you know who Fred Friendly is, he's the…"

"Former president of CBS news and produced "Harvest of Shame, he helped Murrow take down McCarthy." I finish for him, of course I know of Fred Friendly.

He smiles at me, "I'm glad you know that, my faith in Berkeley continues to be unwavering." He says before picking up where I interrupted him, "I saw him speak and then found out there was an intro to journalism class being offered and I took it for fun and ended up loving it. That's how I ended up getting my masters in journalism."

I'm pretty amazed, "Wow, that's pretty interesting."

He tilts his head and looks directly into my eyes, "I'm a surprisingly interesting person once you get to know me."

I smile at him, I feel like he's just flirted with me. Though it was possibly accidental or I'm misreading his tone or maybe this is just how he talks to everyone. Because I'm not really sure why he would ever want to flirt with me, I'm such small potatoes compared to him. I know that I'm pretty but he's just so very handsome and so very successful, I'm sure even Victoria's Secret model's are dying to get into this man's pants. He is clearly out of my league. Not to mention he is a whole person who can drink older than me.

I snap out of my little foray into my own world and I smile at him again, "I don't doubt you're an interesting person. I mean, you can't be dull when you graduate from Berkeley."

He laughs and smiles at me, "I couldn't agree more. All right, let's get you started."


	2. Chapter 2

_"If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

"Abby, stop it, no more!" I yell over the blast of the blender.

We've been unpacking my things and making margaritas since 7 PM and it's now almost 10 and I'm definitely a little buzzed.

She stops blending for a minute to respond, "No way, I had to beg and flash a lot of cleavage in order to get my boss to let me out early on reset day in order to be here after your first day so we are drinking margaritas and you are going to enjoy it!"

She dramatically presses the start button on the blender again and continues making margaritas. Abby is an artist and works at a gallery and on Monday nights they close to reset and take inventory.

I laugh, "You had to flash your cleavage? Abby, isn't your boss a woman?"

"Lesbian." She yells over the blender.

She's done blending the next batch and she pours us both a new glass and walks over to me, handing me the drink.

"I'm going to be hung over on my second day of work, I hate you a little bit." I say as I take the drink.

Abby laughs, "False, you love me and we will stop after this one, I promise. I'm just so excited you're here! Liv we haven't lived in the same city for three years and now we are roommates again! You can't tell me you aren't excited, it's Abby and Liv back together again!"

I smile at her and get up off the floor to sit next to the sofa by Abby. We were assigned as roommates our freshman year at Pepperdine and we've pretty much been best friends ever since. Abby is my rock and I'm so happy to finally live in the same city again.

I grab her hand, "I'm so excited to be here Abs, you're the best for letting me room with you."

She smiles, "You're the best roommate Liv, you know I didn't even think twice when you asked me if I needed a roommate. It's always a yes for you. So, now that you're a little tipsy, what do you really think of the new job?"

I lean my head back against the sofa and I sigh, "It's obviously not what I wanted to be doing but I think it's going to be interesting. I'm at least going to be able to make some good connections to hopefully help me get a decent journalism job."

"How's working with Harrison?"

I laugh, "It's good, he kind of does his own thing, he's basically the second in command over there which I did not realize, he even has his own secretary."

"Damn, I'd never peg Harrison as someone who can be professional. I'll always remember the first time I met him at your parents New Years Eve party and he got so blasted that he fell in the pool and thought he was drowning in the shallow end and then jumped back on the floating platform and proceeded to do a striptease to "We Didn't Start The Fire"."

We both burst out laughing, that is definitely one of my favorite memories of Harrison.

"So how do you like that Fitzgerald Grant guy? I hear he's kind of a big deal; my boss says he's really into philanthropy. He sponsors an art show for charity every year at a different gallery. She also said he's really handsome, which is a big deal coming from her."

I take another gulp of my margarita, "She's right, he's very handsome. He's really nice too; definitely one of those bosses who expect a lot but I don't think it's in an over the top way, he just expects his employees to put forth their best efforts."

Abby smiles, "That's great Liv, I'm so happy for you. Now all you need to do is get rid of Jake and you'll have your perfect little San Jose fresh start!"

I shake my head, Abby is referencing my boyfriend, she doesn't really like him very much. "I told him I needed a break for a little while but honestly I think I just want to break it off completely."

Abby rolls her eyes at me, "You know I've been telling you that for ages. Jake is a good guy, he's just not good for you."

"I know, I know. I think my two years at Berkeley just kind of made me forget how terrible we were together because we rarely saw each other and then when I moved home we were doing well for a couple weeks and then it all just went to crap. At least _I _think it all went to crap, Jake of course thinks we're doing fine. He just doesn't see me, I don't know, does that make any sense?"

Abby sets her glass on the coffee table and leans forward so she can place both of her hands on my leg. "It makes complete sense, he doesn't see that you are fine just the way you are. Jake's problem is that he's always trying to fix you but you don't need to be fixed Liv, you are great."

I set my glass down too and grab her hands, "You're the best Abby, you know me better than anyone."

Abby smiles, "That's what best friends are for little weirdo."

"Okay, I appreciate your help with the unpacking and the alcohol but I should probably get to bed."

Abby laughs, "Yeah, yeah but don't think that because you have a big girl job now that you get to be boring all the time. Friday night you and I are going out with my friend Quinn, we are getting blasted drunk and then we are going to sit by the pool all day on Saturday and then we're going on an art crawl Saturday night. It's going to be great!"

I laugh, "I'm all for that but right now I'm going to bed."

Abby and I both get up off the sofa, "Goodnight Liv, I'm glad you're here." She says as she hugs me.

"I'm glad I'm here too, Abby."

The next morning I am surprisingly not hung over. At work I do mostly editing all morning, the office is fairly quiet right now but Harrison says it's usually pretty busy.

There's a knock on the door that connects my office to Fitz's and he pops his head in.

I look up and smile at him, "Come in."

He smiles back at me, he really has a fantastic smile. His whole face really, it's just very very nice and I wish I could stop swooning over him because he's going to start noticing.

"How's everything going? Are you adjusting?" He asks as he sits down in one of the chairs across from my desk.

He sinks into the chair and crosses an ankle over his knee; he looks so casual and cool and like he should be photographed for GQ instead of sitting in an office.

I lean back in my chair and attempt to be casual, "It's going well, thankfully I'm a weirdo and enjoy grammar and sentence structure so editing is actually something I like."

Fitz laughs, "That's good, I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch with me today? Since you got to meet everyone yesterday at lunch and saw the kitchen area where most of the staff eats daily I thought I could take you to lunch around the block as a sort of welcome to GGC. Of course Harrison is coming too, he invited himself."

I laugh, that's a totally Harrison thing to do. "Yes, thank you, I'd really enjoy that."

"Wonderful, we can head out in five?"

I nod my head okay and he gets up and leaves my office. I let out a long breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I wish Fitz didn't make me so nervous.

Five minutes later I walk out of my office and see Fitz and Harrison waiting in the hall.

"There she is!" Harrison says happily, "Let's get going, I am starving!"

We walk around the corner to a cute little burger place and get a table. Harrison gets a regular burger, Fitz gets a turkey burger, and I get a black bean burger.

"So, Liv, Harrison tells me you two grew up together, I take it that means you're a Marine Corps brat also?"

I smile, "Yeah, we lived next door to each other on base in Okinawa and our dad's have been friends since they were in OCS together."

Harrison smiles, "Yep, Marine Corps family is a bond like no other. Fitz was Navy so he knows a little about that."

I look over at him and size him up, he isn't the type of guy I would peg as a sailor and then it hits me, "You were a flyboy, weren't you?"

Fitz grins, "How the hell did you guess that?"

I shrug, "It's a talent." I applaud myself in my head for being able to respond to Fitz so casually when he is flashing me that gorgeous grin.

Harrison laughs, "Liv has a weird intuition, that's why she's going to make a kick ass journalist one day."

I smile at Harrison; I really do love him like a brother.

"So what did you fly?" I ask.

"F-14's."

I grin, "Tomcats, so did you train at the fighter weapons school at Miramar?"

Fitz looks surprised I know what I'm talking about. "I did actually, in 1992 a few years before they merged it with the strike and air warfare school at Fallon."

My mouth drops open because I can't believe Fitz was at Miramar in 1992, "Seriously? That's so funny, my Dad was stationed at Miramar then. We lived on base through 1993."

"Wow, small world. Were you born in San Diego, then?"

I nod, "I was."

"It's a great city, I enjoyed my time there. I'd love to open an office down there someday."

"So Liv," he continues, "What do you like to do in your spare time?"

"I don't know, I write and read a lot. I also enjoy live music and I like pretty much any activity that involves the ocean. I'm pretty boring." I say with a shrug.

Fitz is looking at me with his fiercely blue eyes as if he's studying me. I'd feel uncomfortable if I wasn't so mesmerized by them.

"I don't believe that for a second." He says, his gaze unwavering.

Harrison is pretty much ignoring both of us in favor of his burger so thankfully he hasn't noticed the little moment Fitz and I are having.

I'm a little flustered so I abruptly turn my head away, unable to form any coherent thoughts in my brain.

Thankfully Harrison comes out of his burger haze and decides to comment before I can make this any more awkward. "Liv, don't be ridiculous. You are one of the least boring people I've ever met. Fitz, have I ever told you about the time when I was nineteen and came back to Okinawa from my first summer of college? My parents and Liv's parents decided that they were going to take us to see the Great Wall of China and thirteen year old Liv decided that she wanted to zip line off the Great Wall. She then proceeded to convince her older sister and me to come with and failed to mention she hadn't asked our parents."

"Hey, that was fun and you know it!" I say in defense of my actions. "And by the way our parents would have said yes."

Harrison laughs, "Yeah, that wasn't why they were pissed Liv, they were pissed because they thought they lost us in China!"

I shrug, "Hey, I was thirteen, you were supposed to be the responsible one!"

Harrison continues to laugh and Fitz is just shaking his head and smiling at me.

About an hour after lunch Fitz and I are going over a few things in his office when there's a knock at the door.

"Come in." He says without even looking up from the papers in front of us.

A very tall brunette girl walks in. She's wearing a cute pair of harem pants with a grey and maroon bohemian sweater and she's got fabulous ankle boots on, I definitely didn't meet her yesterday, I would have remembered someone who looked like her.

"Fitz, I have the mock-ups for the banners you wanted and I also updated the logo a little bit to make it stand out."

Fitz stands up and takes the papers from the girl, "Thanks so much, these look great. Oh Lauren, this is Olivia. Olivia this is Lauren. Olivia has been given the daunting task of being my assistant, hopefully I don't scare her away too quickly." He says, grinning as he introduces us.

I stand up to shake Lauren's hand.

"It's nice to meet you." I say with a smile.

Lauren returns mine and seems genuine, "You too, you're Harrison's friend, right?"

I laugh, "Guilty."

"Don't worry, I won't hold it against you." Lauren quips. I already think I'm going to like her.

"Lauren is one of our fantastic graphic designers. She's also my go-to for advice on how to be hip."

Lauren laughs and rolls her eyes, "Right, what did we say about using the word 'hip'?"

Fitz laughs, turns to me, and shrugs, "I'll clearly never be cool."

I smile, I love how Fitz is so casual with his employees, it makes him so much less intimidating.

"Hey, Lauren, would you mind giving Liv a tour of your creativity lair?"

Lauren smiles, "Yeah, I'd love to."

My ears perk up, "That sounds great, thanks Fitz."

Lauren and I walk out of the office and down the hallway to the opposite end of the building where the designers work.

"You like it here so far?" Lauren asks.

I nod my head, "Yeah, I really do. Um, this may be a weird question but is Fitz always this nice or is he going to turn into a crazy workaholic nutjob once I get settled in?"

Lauren laughs, "No, Fitz is probably one of the most sincere people you'll ever meet. He expects a lot out of his employees but he also cares a lot about them. He's truly just a nice guy. He gets angry every once in a while and it can be a little scary, but you know, he's the boss, it'd be weirder if it didn't happen."

Lauren opens the door to a large room at the end of the hallway; it's set up with five cubicle type areas and has a bunch of logos and ads decorating the walls. It's bright in here and is very different from the subtle and minimalistic décor around the rest of the obvious. I think I also spot a 3D printer in the corner and I hope that Lauren will show me how to use it; I've always wanted to see how they work.

"So, this is the graphic designers lair, it's pretty casual in here because we're shut off from every one else. If you ever need a break feel free to come find me in here."

I smile at her, "Thanks, I will." I'm thinking I should invite Lauren out this weekend; she seems like the kind of girl who Abby would really enjoy hanging out with.

Later, as I am leaving work for the day Fitz pokes his head in my open door, "Hey Liv, I'm glad I caught you before you left for the day." He steps inside my office and he looks like he's ready to be done for the day, his suit jacket is off and his tie looks like he has loosened it from around his neck just the slightest. His shirtsleeves are rolled up to his elbows and I can see the muscles in his forearms. He must work out at least a little bit because his muscles are defined in the best way, not bulky but just defined enough to be incredibly attractive.

"I just wanted to tell you that you're doing great and I hope you are enjoying working here. You're an absolute pleasure to work with and I know I can get a little frustrating but I hope you enjoy working with me as well."

I smile at him, good lord he's beautiful, and my brain scrambles for something to say, "Thank you, I am enjoying it here and you're not frustrating, you're a pleasure to work with as well."

He grins at me and I can feel my face get flush, "You're sweet Livvy, have a good night." And with that he's out of my office and back into his own. I plop myself down in my chair and I sigh, he just called me Livvy. And I didn't hate it, not even a little bit. Actually I liked it. A lot. God, it is going to be exhausting trying to work with this man if he's going to continue to say my name like that.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Most of us are content to exist and breed and fight for the right to do both, and the dominant idea, the foredoomed attest to control one's destiny, is reserved for the fortunate or unfortunate few."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Offshore Pirate_

* * *

My first week at Grant Global Communications went by surprisingly fast. I had been nervous that it would take me a while to adjust but I've found that adjusting wasn't that hard and I feel like I'm already in a rhythm. Abby, Quinn, Lauren, and I went out last night to a dueling piano bar. Lauren introduced us to her girlfriend, Savannah, and we spent the night singing along to ridiculous songs and ended up closing down the bar. It kind of felt like we were back at Pepperdine, like we were just a bunch of college students without a care in the world. It felt good, it felt like life was finally back to normal, after years of trying so hard to find myself, like all the twists and turns my life took since freshman year of college finally started to make sense.

We slept in until eleven and then made ourselves comfortable on deck chairs at the apartment pool. I can definitely get used to this, friends, sunshine, and wine. Three things I love.

Late that night I find myself standing alone in a sea of people at Abby's gallery. This is the last stop on our art crawl and I've had fun so far, I like looking at all the art but what I really enjoy is people watching. It's funny to see how different people react to different art: the couples on first dates trying to impress each other, the significant others who are clearly just humoring their spouses, the art snobs with their noses stuck up in the air, the friends like me who are just along for the ride, there are so many different people and I love watching them. I'm standing in the middle of the room pretending to look at a sort of paper sculpture hanging from some wires attached to the ceiling, there are several others around the upper floor of the gallery but this one gives me the best vantage point to people watch and since Abby is helping her boss with a quick crisis this is all I have to keep me occupied for a little while.

I am suddenly knocked back into reality at the sound of a voice next to me.

"You think she knows he's doing a crossword on his phone?"

I abruptly turn my head in the direction of the voice; I can feel my face heating up with embarrassment at the fact that someone has caught me people watching.

I exhale when I see the source of the voice, my boss, Fitzgerald Grant. He's standing next to me wearing a gorgeous navy suit and a light blue pinstripe shirt, he has forgone a tie in favor of leaving the top couple buttons open. He looks casual but still completely put together, his hands are in his pockets and his suit is unbuttoned and the look is really working for him.

"Fitz, hi." I manage to stammer out.

"Hi." He says, grinning at me.

I can't form a coherent thought in my mind and so I just smile at him for a moment.

Thankfully he breaks the ice, "My bet is that she thinks he's genuinely interested, he's probably convinced her that he's just googling art terms."

I can't help but laugh, "You're probably right." I take a deep breath, "I didn't expect to see you at this kind of thing."

Fitz laughs, "Art history degree."

I shake my head, "That's right, I forgot you've got all kinds of secret talents."

"You better believe it." He retorts, winking at me as he speaks. "So are you here alone?"

I shake my head, "No, I'm with my roommate. She actually works here, she's an artist, we did an art crawl tonight and this is our final stop. They had some kind of issue and she got roped into helping so I'm trying to keep myself occupied until she's finished. What about you, are you here alone?"

Fitz shakes his head and points at a group of three people—two men and a woman, "I'm here with them."

I can feel my breath hitch in my lungs and before I can stop myself I am asking, "Your girlfriend?"

Fitz shakes his head and laughs, "No, I don't have a girlfriend."

"Boyfriend?" I ask, apparently the boxed wine in this pastic cup is making me brave.

Thankfully Fitz thinks I'm funny and he bursts out laughing, "No those are my friends Cyrus and James, they are married and the woman with them is someone they're trying to set me up with."

I look over at her, she looks like she's in her thirties and she has pretty blonde hair, she's kind of short and she's thin and she's wearing what I know is a very expensive Tory Burch dress.

"You don't like her?"

Fitz shrugs, "Don't get me wrong, she's very nice, she's just not my type."

"Do your friends set you up on dates a lot?"

Fitz laughs again, "They try to, but I'm not much of the dating type."

"Ahh, so you're like the George Clooney of San Jose? Forever a bachelor."

Fitz is still grinning at me, "Hey, I'll have you know that I am only 42, I've got a solid ten years to settle down before I turn into Clooney. But I won't lie, I'm a fan of Clooney's so I don't hate the comparison."

Now I laugh, almost spewing the boxed wine I'm drinking all over Fitz.

"What? I can't be a fan of George Clooney?"

I shake my head, unable to speak from the combination of laughter and for fear that the wine I've practically inhaled is going to come out my nose.

All of a sudden the two men and the woman Fitz is here with are next to us and thankfully our laughter has died down. The blonde woman stands in between us and sort of sizes me up as if I'm her competition. Liv, I'd like you to meet my friends James Novak, Cyrus Beene, and Michelle Burke." He points them out to me as he introduces them. "This," he says, motioning toward me with his hand, "Is my brilliant new assistant, Olivia Pope."

Michelle seems to relax now that she knows I am Fitz's assistant and I'm not just another woman vying for his affection. The man he's identified as Cyrus steps forward and shakes my hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you Olivia, you've only been Fitz's assistant for a week and he's already raving about you. I'm just impressed you made it through a week with this man, he can be quite a handful."

I shake Cyrus' hand and laugh, "He's not so bad." I say with a wink.

Cyrus, James and Fitz all start howling in laughter, "I hope you can keep this one around for a while Fitz, she's feisty, you could use that." The man named James says.

It's then that Michelle interrupts, "We should get going if we want to have enough time to get through the next gallery."

Michelle barely gives me the time of day before she turns around and heads to the door but Cyrus turns to me, "It was a pleasure to meet you Olivia."

I smile at him, "You as well."

James then shakes my hand too; "I hope we meet again soon Miss Pope."

"I hope so too Mr. Novak, it was a pleasure."

James and Cyrus walk toward the door and now it's just Fitz and I again.

"Well, I guess I should be going." He looks back and for a minute I think I see something in his eyes that tells me he would rather stay here with me. But I must be imagining that because there's no way a handsome, successful, sweet, man like Fitz would ever want to be with me when he could probably date a movie star if that's what he wanted.

"It was wonderful to see you, Livvy. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. I look forward to seeing you on Monday."

"Goodnight, Fitz." Is all I can manage to squeak out because he called me Livvy again and it's making me all wobbly.

He turns around and heads toward the door and before he exits the gallery he turns around and waves. I stay frozen to the spot I'm in because my legs have turned to jello and I'm afraid that if I move I will just fall over.

I'm still staring out the door when Abby approaches me a moment later.

"Hey, Liv, I'm so sorry. Major problem with one of the backdrops, I am so sorry I ditched you. You ready to go home? I'm thinking we open up a bottle of wine and watch Tangled? I'm just in that kind of mood.

I laugh, "That sounds absolutely amazing, let's go."

And with that I hook my arm around Abby's and we waltz out of the gallery together and head home.

A while later as Abby and I are cuddled together on the sofa, wine glasses in hand. We are at the point in Tangled where Rapunzel and Flynn are on the boat singing "I See The Light".

I look over at Abby, "Abs?"

She turns to look at me, placing her head on the back of the sofa, "Yeah?"

"Do you believe in destiny or fate?"

Abby sighs, "Well, I guess maybe, in certain contexts."

I know I look confused because she starts to clarify, "Like, I don't believe certain things are destined to happen to you but I do believe that you are destined to meet certain people and that those people and their influence—or lack of—is what helps you become the person you're meant to be."

I sigh, "Do you really, truly believe that?"

Abby smiles at me and grabs my hand, "Well, I know that I started out as a marketing major and then I met my freshman year roommate and she saw my art and she helped me to realize that I truly wanted to be an artist. And even though I knew it wasn't the most reliable career choice I knew that nothing else was going to make me as happy. I don't know if I would have come to that realization if I had never met you. So to answer you, yes. I do truly believe that because I believe you're one of those people for me."

I pull her hand to my heart, "I think you're one of those people for me too, Abs."

Abby grins, "I'm so glad you're here, Liv."

"Me too."


	4. Chapter 4

_"His dark eyes took me in, and I wondered what they would look like if he fell in love."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love Of The Last Tycoon_

* * *

I've been at Grant Global Communications for a month now and I have to say I've been enjoying myself. I'm making friends at work, I love living with Abby again, and I'm finally to the point where I can have a conversation with Fitz and act like a normal human being.

Fitz and I have actually developed a good repertoire. Working with him is really enjoyable, he's a really funny guy and although this job isn't ideal, I find myself truly enjoying it and I think it's because I really just like Fitz. And not like him as in think he's really hot, which I do, but actually truly like his personality.

I'm working quietly at my desk one day when Fitz barges into my office, he's funny in the way that he's very cautious of my personal space unless he has something he's either really excited about or if he's on a roll with something he's working on.

I look up at him and he's plopped himself down in one of the leather chairs across from my desk and is grinning at me. I'm sure I look like a maniac because I'm trying to smile normally but at the same time I can't help but be slightly nervous about why he's grinning at me.

"Hey, Fitz, what's up?" I ask trying to seem casual.

He leans forward in his chair, "I was thinking that we have a client dinner on Thursday and I'd really like it if you came."

I swear if I was standing up I would have fallen over, I'm wracking my brain trying to find an appropriate response. "I'd…that would…I would really like that." I manage to stutter out and internally curse at myself for reverting back to being unable to form a coherent sentence around Fitz when I'd been so proud of myself for supposedly getting over that.

"Great!" He says, jumping out of his chair. "I'm going to send a car for you-these things can get pretty boozy. Be ready at 7:00."

I nod my head because I still have a hard time saying normal things around him and all his handsomeness.

"Perfect." He says, tapping his hand on my desk before waltzing back into his office.

A few hours later I'm sitting on the patio at lunch talking to two of the girls who work in the office; one is Lauren who has become someone I really enjoy spending time with. She's super creative and eclectic and we get along really well. And then there is Amanda who is four years older than me and although she's nice, she can be kind of fake. She's one of those people who you have to be careful what you say to because it will get around the office in a flash if she finds out.

We've been making small talk for most of our lunch hour and just enjoying the beautiful weather when Fitz suddenly appears outside. He stops at a table about twenty feet away from us to talk to Harrison and another coworker and Amanda sighs.

"Good lord that man is handsome."

"I agree." Lauren chimes in, "I don't even like men and even I think that Fitz is just YUM."

I'm trying to avoid adding my two cents but Amanda notices my silence and decides to rib me about it. "Liv, you're awfully quiet. You get to work with Fitz more than anyone, don't you find him sexy?"

I laugh and pray it sounds normal, "He's our boss. Come on, we can't think of him like that."

Lauren smiles, "Oh come on Liv, you're so proper and polite!"

They quiet down because Fitz has started walking toward us. He's smiling at me and the moment he gets to our table he immediately starts talking to me-ignoring Amanda and Lauren.

"Livvy, I just wanted to let you know I made the reservation tomorrow for George's. I'll be by around seven to pick you up and I just need you to remember to bring the proposal binder because you know I'll forget it."

"Don't worry, I'll reprint those pages we discussed later today and I'll be sure to bring it with me."

"Livvy, you're a lifesaver, what would I do without you?" Fitz says before saying a quick hello to the girls and heading back into the office.

When he walks inside, Amanda turns to me with a scary gleam in her eye, "Livvy? He calls you Livvy?" She's looking at me like Fitz calling me Livvy is some kind of scandal so I try to play it as cool as I can.

"Yeah, so?" I'm trying very hard to act aloof about this.

"I thought you hated being called Livvy?"

I roll my eyes, "Only when Harrison calls me Livvy, but that's because when he says it, it makes me feel like I'm ten years old. And plus, I'm not about to tell our boss to stop calling me that."

"Because you _like_ it." Amanda teases, "It's like 'Livvy, I must have you now. Livvy, you're so beautiful. Oh Livvy.'" She's doing her best Fitz 'imitation' and thank god Lauren is rolling her eyes along with me.

"Oh shut up, you're just jealous because he wants her to come to a client dinner with him and you've been trying to push your way into one of those boring things since you started."

I cover my mouth with my tea so it doesn't look like I'm laughing, god I love Lauren.

Amanda sneers at her, "Whatever, I have a boyfriend."

Lauren and I just roll our eyes and both decide not to add any more fuel to the fire and just keep quiet.

Several hours later it's about 6:45 and I'm getting anxious about this dinner. Abby has been laughing at me all night watching me get ready because I've gone through at least ten outfits and my room is like a clothing minefield. The sad part is all ten outfits have been black and white dresses; the problem is they are all short and just didn't feel business-like. I finally settled on a white cocktail dress. It's very simple with 3/4th length sleeves, a scoop neck with a deep scoop in the back, and the dress hits a few inches below my knees but has a cute triangle pattern of cut outs as detail about two inches from the bottom of the skirt which makes it's classy length a little edgier. I've added my favorite thin gold belt around the middle to add a little accent and have put on matching white platform pumps that make me feel insanely tall. I'm really happy this outfit is making me feel absolutely fantastic because it's giving me some confidence for this dinner.

"It upsets me that you never have to wear spanx." Abby says as she assesses my outfit from her spot on my bed.

I turn around, "Abby, YOU never have to wear spanx either." Abby is obnoxiously tall and skinny and to top it off eats like you'd expect a pudgy fourteen year old boy to eat.

"Yeah, well it upsets me that I have to share that distinction with you. Why did I have to get paired with such a hot roommate freshman year and then actually end up liking her?"

I pick up a random shoe I tossed on the floor during my rampage and playfully throw it at her. "Oh shut up, you love me."

Abby blocks the shoe and laughs, "You're right, only because I'm hot too so I can deal with your hotness better than most."

I give her an exaggerated eye roll but I can't help but join her laughter.

"But I am truly jealous of your dark, gorgeous skin. I'm so over being pale."

I laugh harder, "You're a freak."

"So what are you going to do with your hair?"

"I was planning on just leaving it down and straight."

"No, no, no." Abby says, getting up off my bed and walking over to me. "The back of this dress looks too fabulous on you to cover it with your hair. Wait here."

She heads for the bathroom and I can hear her rummaging through my things and a moment later she comes back.

She starts working on my hair without telling me, typical Abby.

It only takes her a few moments and she's finished, she sprays my hair with a crap ton of hairspray and grabs the handheld mirror sitting on my dresser. "Have a look."

I peer into the mirror and my hair looks great, she's put it in a French twist but instead of tucking the hair all on top of my head she's gathered it to the side of my head so it falls out of the twist almost like its in a side ponytail.

"Oh my gosh I love it!" I exclaim, dropping the mirror to hug her.

"Yes, I am so talented." She teases, "But this is much better than your usual bun, it's still classy but adds some fun and plus shows off your gorgeous back."

Just then my phone rings and I know its Fitz.

"You better pick up, I bet your mysterious boss man is here."

I roll my eyes and pick up the phone.

"Hi."

"Hi." He responds and I can feel my face heating up.

"You here?"

"I am, I apologize, I would have come to your door but I got here and realized I didn't write down your apartment number and I have no idea which one is yours."

I laugh, "Don't worry about it, I'll be right down."

I hang up the phone and say goodbye to Abby and head down to find Fitz waiting outside a town car.

He looks like a GQ model in his suit, he always wears great suits to work but this one is like a step up. It's shiny but not in a tacky way, more of an 'Academy Award nominee' way, something classy and basic with just enough detail to make it look like it came straight out of George Clooney's closet.

He's reading something on his phone when he sees me walking down the staircase and he just freezes. I can't help but turn away from him and grin because that's exactly how I had hoped he would react.

"Livvy, I…you…I mean….you look…you are…you're stunning."

I feel my cheeks get hot and I'm very happy I'm not pale like Abby right now because I'm sure my cheeks would be a bright crimson red if I was.

He opens the door for me and helps me get into the car, pausing for a moment to stare at me before he shuts my door.

I can't help but let out a giggle as he shuts the door and makes his way to the other side of the car and gets in.

He's staring at me again, but this time I'm staring back.

It takes a minute for both of us to register that we're staring and I shock even myself when I hand Fitz the proposal binder.

"I remembered." I say, pulling it out of my purse and showing it to him.

He grins, "I knew I could count on you."

I smile back at him and then look down at my lap to work up the courage to say what I am thinking, "You look wonderful." I say quietly.

I can see him grinning at me even just out of the corner of my eye. "I guess I clean up all right, but you, Livvy I truly apologize if what I'm about to say seems out of line but, you look sensational. I mean truly, breathtakingly gorgeous, if you didn't work for me and this was the first night I had ever seen you, I would have immediately hit on you."

I want to be cool but I can't seem to stop myself from grinning like a goon. "So if that was the case, how would you hit on me?"

"You mean what kind of pick-up line would I use?"

I laugh, "Yeah, I want to know how Fitzgerald Grant would pick up a girl if he met her in a bar."

He purses his lips in an attempt to keep himself from grinning but it comes through anyway, "First of all, I would never pick up a girl in a bar. Unless of course that girl looked like you, and trust me, Livvy, there are very few women who look like you."

There's a lump in my throat when he says that and suddenly I'm kind of self-conscious.

"I don't think I would use a pick-up line, at least I would try not to but if I was hitting on a girl who looked like you in a bar I would just want to tell her how beautiful she was and she'd probably think that was cheesy because she probably gets told that on a daily basis. So I'd probably just ask to buy her a drink, I honestly don't know. I haven't picked up a girl in a bar in decades."

"You know girls can tell."

"Tell what?" He looks at me quizzically.

"We can tell, when a guy is tells us we're beautiful and he's being sincere, we know, at least a smart girl will know. So, if you're ever in that situation, just tell her she's beautiful. She'll know."

I'm staring unabashed at him now because for some reason I just can't look anywhere else.

He's staring back and he's not smiling anymore, he just says quietly, "I'll tell her she's beautiful then, because it's the clearest choice in the universe. She's dazzling; like the brightest star in the night sky has danced it's way to earth. There is not one thing about her that I don't find utterly mesmerizing and the man who she chooses to love is the luckiest man in the world."

And we continue to stare because we both know that this hypothetical 'her' is actually me and I'm not self-conscious anymore because no one has ever said anything that beautiful to me before in my entire life. I feel like I'm a character in an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel, which is funny considering his name is Fitzgerald, and that at any moment someone is going to start narrating our story.

The car comes to a halt and I can feel it as the driver shifts into park. Fitz must have noticed too because he turns to look out the window. The driver gets out and opens my door helping me out of the car and Fitz gets out on the other side. George's is a gorgeous restaurant in Palo Alto and I'm pretty excited to eat here.

I walk around to the other side of the car and Fitz meets me, he grabs my arm lightly above the elbow and he leads me into the restaurant. He lets the hostess know we have arrived but we will wait for the rest of our party in the bar.

We walk over to the bar, it's a little crowded but we find a spot and Fitz flags down the bartender. He seems like he's annoyed at all the customers but when he walks over and spots me his demeanor changes.

"Hey there gorgeous, what can I get for you?" His voice has changed into what I can only assume is his flirting voice.

"I'll take a dirty martini and what are you in the mood for tonight, babe?" I say as I place my hand over Fitz's wrist and lightly circle my thumb over his skin.

Fitz doesn't miss a beat and puts his other hand on top of mine and looks over at me with a smile, "How about a scotch on the rocks for me." He says, not even looking at the bartender.

"Coming right up." The bartender replies with a defeated sigh and walks away to make our drinks.

Fitz is still grinning at me when I remove my hand from his and avert my eyes, "Sorry, I just wasn't in the mood to get hit on."

Fitz is still just grinning at me which makes me start to laugh and shake my head at him.

He's about to say something to me when all of a sudden I hear, "Fitz!" And I scowl as he turns his head to look behind him and then turns to smile and wave at the man.

"Jack." He says enthusiastically as the man approaches him and gives him a hug.

I use the opportunity to size up this man, he looks like he's probably in his forties, nice salt and pepper hair, he's shorter than Fitz and slightly stockier, he's got a nice smile but his teeth are so white that it kind of freaks me out for a minute. I then notice there are two other men with him, both of them look like they're in their thirties and look decent enough.

"Jack Martin, I'd like for you to meet Olivia Pope."

I extend my hand and Jack looks over at me and pauses, taking a moment to look me over and making me feel a little creeped out. Fitz apparently notices and places a hand on the small of my back, which manages to comfort me slightly. Jack finally reaches out to shake my hand but is still staring at me, "Olivia, gorgeous name for a gorgeous woman. It's an absolute pleasure to meet you, where has Fitz been hiding you?"

Fitz gives Jack a halfhearted smile, "Actually Olivia only started working for me two months ago."

"Finally replaced Harrison?" Jack says with a laugh.

Fitz joins in his laughter, I assume it's some sort of joke between them, "Actually, Harrison is in New York for the week so Olivia got roped into being my backup."

"Well, lucky us then." Jack says, winking at Fitz. I try not to frown and I feel Fitz pulling me slightly closer to him.

"Oh, silly me, Fitz you remember Matt and Pete? Matt, Pete, this is Olivia Pope. Olivia, these are my VP's Matt Tully and Peter Gooden."

Thankfully the other two are polite and we chat for a moment before Fitz informs us that our table is ready. We head toward the hostess and I'm surprised when Fitz pulls me back.

"Livvy, if he makes you at all uncomfortable please don't hesitate to speak up. I did not bring you here for him to fawn over, I'm so sorry."

I just nod my head because I don't know what else to say and we head over to the table.

Thankfully I end up between Fitz and Matt and dinner goes well. Jack is a little inappropriate but Fitz cuts him off and changes the subject almost every time. We say goodbye and Jack kisses my hand, which makes me want to gag. Fitz and I get back into the car and I sink down into the seat, happy the night is over.

Fitz gets in on his side and does the same, "God, Livvy I'm so sorry. I had no idea he was going to act like that."

I turn to Fitz and smile, "Are you kidding? That was nothing compared to the crap I endure at bars and from guys my own age. I can handle a few comments from someone as harmless as he was."

Fitz shakes his head; "Still, it drives me crazy when men act like that."

I smile at him, "Yeah, well you're much more of a man than 99% of the men out there."

He's smiling at me and he grabs my hand lightly, I feel that same spark course through my body that I felt the first time we met. "You're fantastic, Livvy."

He lets go a moment later and I wish I had the courage to grab for his hand back because I really wish he hadn't let go.

We talk until we arrive at my apartment and Fitz of course gets out to open my door for me. He takes my hand and helps me out of the car and suddenly we are standing very close to each other. He leans in, taking me by surprise and kisses me on the cheek.

"Let me walk you up to your apartment?" He says.

I shake my head trying to gather my thoughts, I can't let him do that because if he walks me to my apartment I'm going to want to drag him into it and make out with him. "No, no it's all right. Really, I'm fine."

For a minute I'm sure he's going to protest but I think he senses that he has me slightly rattled so he nods his head, "Okay. Well, I am going to stay here and make sure you get into your apartment safely, but goodnight and thank you for coming with me, I had a lovely evening with you Ms. Pope."

I manage a normal smile, "That sounds like a good compromise and thank you, I had a good night and I appreciate the opportunity."

I start to walk away from Fitz, my cheeks feel hot and I can feel that longing between my legs I haven't felt in ages. This is not good.

All of a sudden Fitz calls my name, "Hey, Olivia Pope."

I stop and turn around to look at him.

"You're beautiful."

My cheeks are even hotter now and somehow I find the courage to respond, "So are you." I call out and turn around to head to my apartment without looking back. I do hear him laughing and I start to laugh myself.

I enter my apartment and fall backward against the door, I don't know what's going on but I do know that I have never been as attracted to anyone as I am to Fitzgerald Grant.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Was it the infinite sadness of her eyes that drew him or the mirror of himself that he found in the gorgeous clarity of her mind?"_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise_

* * *

"Hey Harrison." I say as I poke my head into the open door of his office.

"Hey, Liv!" He says brightly, motioning me in the door.

I take a seat in one of the plush leather armchairs across from his desk and I sink in, exhaling a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"What's going on Ace?" Harrison asks, leaning back in his own chair.

I shrug, "Not much, Fitz was approving some of my edits when Martha announced that he had a phone call. He looked kind of angry about it and since I was finished with the edits and was just kind of sitting there I felt awkward staying in my office. I didn't want to eavesdrop on him."

Harrison's eyes narrow in confusion, "Did Martha say who was on the call?"

"Um, Mellie Ford? I think was the name she said."

Harrison makes a weird face and I laugh, "What the heck was that face for?"

He shakes his head, "Mellie Ford is his ex-wife."

I tense up in the chair, "Fitz was married?"

Harrison nods, "Yeah, they get along pretty well, mostly because they don't talk very often and they see each other even less. But she's been trying to get him to sponsor an event for her charity and she's driving him a little nuts."

I know I shouldn't pry but I can't help it, and Harrison is so easy to get information out of. "Was it a recent divorce?"

He shakes his head and laughs again, "No, no, they've been divorced for like ten years I think."

I ease up a little bit, that shouldn't make me feel better but it does. "Oh, I see. That makes sense, I saw him last Saturday night at Abby's gallery, he was on a double date."

Harrison continues to laugh and shakes his head, "Was he with two guys named Cyrus and James?"

I shoot him a confused look, "Yeah he was, why?"

Harrison grins, "James is constantly trying to set Fitz up. He hates it but he humors them."

I can't help myself as I lean in closer to Harrison's desk because now I'm really intrigued. "He doesn't like to date?"

"Not really, I've tried to set him up a few times and occasionally he'll date a woman for a couple months or so but other than that he doesn't really date. I don't know why, the man is constantly getting hit on when we go out and by gorgeous girls, and I mean _gorgeous_."

I nod my head and try not to make it look like I want to scream in frustration, I need to stop asking questions about Fitz now, I really shouldn't be getting this information from Harrison.

"That's strange," I say as casually as possible as I stand up, "well, I should probably get back in case he's off the phone."

Harrison nods, "Yeah, good idea. Have a good rest of the day." He says with a wink.

"Thanks Harrison, you too." I say with a smile as I move to exit his office.

"Oh Liv, wait!" Harrison says, jumping up from his desk and walking over to meet me in the doorway. "Fitz's birthday is October 6th, he's not really into birthdays so he won't tell you. We have cake at the office but that's about it. He doesn't expect cards but most of us get him one, I just thought I'd tell you in advance."

I nod my head, "Thanks Harrison, I'll get him a card."

He smiles at me and squeezes my shoulder, "You're doing a great job, Liv. Keep it up."

I smile and put my hand over his, giving it a small squeeze. "Thanks Harrison, I really appreciate all you've done for me."

He grins, "Anything for family."

I give him a small hug and then start to head back to my office.

I walk back and into my office and go to the door connecting my office with Fitz's and I press my ear up against it, I don't want to knock on the door unless he's off the phone.

All I hear is silence so I decide to knock on the door.

"Come in." I hear Fitz call out and I open the door.

"Sorry, I had to ask Harrison a couple things and I figured I'd do it while you were preoccupied."

Fitz smiles at me, "No, no I'm sorry, that was uh, that was my ex-wife. I didn't want to make you listen to that."

I sit down in one of the chairs across from his desk, "Are you okay?"

He gives me a small smile and he leans back in his chair. "Yeah, it's fine. I don't actually dislike her; honestly I'm pretty indifferent when it comes to her. She is on the board of a charity and wants us to coordinate an event for them pro-bono, which I'm completely fine with, she is just a very intense person and can be very difficult to deal with."

I nod my head, "I'm sorry."

Fitz shakes his head, "It's not your fault. And now I'm off the phone with her and I get to spend the rest of the afternoon with you, so my day is still a good one."

I can feel the blush creep up my cheeks and I am grinning wildly. "Um, I was thinking about a theme for the event for the civic center's anniversary. Since the first event they hosted was a touring production of The Lion King and the show they're hosting now is a touring company of The Book of Mormon, I thought it might be fun to give the event a sort of out of Africa theme. I think there are a lot of cool things we can do to make the event interesting and fun for both adults and kids. I went through the list of patrons the civic center sent us and a lot of them have kids. I think they might be able to bring in some more money and attract a bigger patronage if we make it more appealing to adults and kids. We could market it as a sort of theme night and they could make performance a key part of the event."

Fitz is grinning at me, "I love that idea, sort of a showcase of how they've come full circle but at the same time also giving patrons the ability to see how far they've come. Do you think you can write up a proposal and have Lauren do some mock-ups for advertisements?"

"Um, by myself? I mean, I can do that, of course."

"Wonderful, you'll do a great job."

"I uh, I actually came up with the idea when I was looking at that picture on your wall." I say, pointing to a gorgeous picture of two elephants against the backdrop of the setting sun. "I just love it, it's a beautiful shot and I just always find myself looking at it when I'm in here."

Fitz starts to laugh and I turn back to him and give him a confused look, "Sorry, its just, I actually took that picture myself."

I turn to him, "Are you serious?"

He nods his head, "For a year after I graduated from journalism school I worked as a photo journalist. It was just for this small independent paper in San Francisco but I spent eight of those months in Africa on assignment doing articles about the poverty, AIDS, and violence in Eastern Africa but I also got some great opportunities to experience the wildlife. I was mostly in Uganda, Tanzania, Rwanda, and Kenya but I spent time other places."

I'm sure I look ridiculous with my mouth hanging wide open but I'm just so surprised, I figured Fitz had come to work here immediately after graduate school.

"Why did you only work there for a year? You didn't like it?"

Fitz shakes his head, "No, I loved it. But my Dad passed away suddenly and since I have no siblings it was up to me to take over the family business."

"Oh my gosh, Fitz I'm so sorry." I feel bad my question was such a personal one, I didn't mean for it to be that way.

He shakes his head, "It was a long time ago. I got to do what I loved for a year and that was more than most get."

I must be staring at him in a funny way or something because he continues, "But I do enjoy this job, some days I even love it."

It's silent between us for a moment and it's making me anxious. "So um, did you enjoy your time in Africa?"

His beautiful grin reappears on his face, "I did, it's a gorgeous continent. Have you ever been?"

Now it's my turn to laugh, "Um, yeah a bunch of times actually. My Mom was born in South Africa, her parents grew up there, they moved to California when she was two. We still have family there."

Fitz nods his head, "Wow, that's awesome. Did you ever write about Africa?"

I shrug my shoulders and shift in my chair so that I am leaning on the armrest, my head resting in my hand. I nod my head, "I did, a lot actually. I lived there for six months after undergrad and worked for my uncle and while I was there I wrote a lot about the culture and about adjusting to life in a different country. After I got into grad school I applied for a scholarship and the work I submitted was everything I had written about living in Africa for those six months." I smile to myself, "I got the scholarship."

Fitz is smiling at me, "I'd love to read your work, if you're comfortable with that?"

"Um, yeah, I am. Actually, I have a website I post my work on. It makes it easier when someone needs to see my portfolio quickly, everything is archived on the website so I just have to send one quick link and they have all my best work. I can show you it, if you'd like?"

"Yeah, that would be great." He gets up out of his office chair and pulls it backward out of his desk, motioning for me to sit down.

I make my way over to the opposite side of his desk and sit down at his computer.

I sit down and Fitz pushes the chair close to the computer. I press my palms down to the keyboard and my fingers go to work, typing away into the web browser to bring up my website.

Fitz is leaning over me, one of his hands his on the back of the chair and the other is placed on the armrest. The hand on the armrest is so close to my elbow that I imagine I can feel a current of electricity between us, but that can't actually be happening, I must be hallucinating.

I pull up the website and Fitz leans down to get a better look. His head is so close to mine that I can barely breathe.

"Uh, so all my stuff is posted on this website. Everything is sorted by date but if you click the navigation link it sorts everything into categories. So if you want to read any of my pieces about Africa all you have to do is click on the link that says 'Africa' and it will come up with a list of all my pieces about Africa."

Fitz leans even closer to the computer screen and now his head is so close to mine that I've just stopped breathing altogether and I have to tell myself how to breath in order to actually be able to function.

"Wow, this is so great Livvy. I really look forward to reading your stuff. Thank you for showing it to me."

I get out of the chair, "Yeah, of course. Thanks for wanting to read it."

After work I find myself at Papyrus scouring the racks of cards for the perfect one to give Fitz. I am notorious for giving out funny cards; I don't usually like all the cheesy, sentimental ones so I always stick to the funny ones. But I don't want to get Fitz a funny one, I don't necessarily want to get him a sentimental one either, I just want to get him a nice one.

Finally I come across one that features a man in a suit standing on the back of an elephant and the elephant is on a tightrope. I open the card and on the inside it says, 'You make it look so easy…Happy birthday to a man who can walk the walk.'

I smile, I like this one and I think it works well for Fitz. Plus, one of the things I am most attracted to about him is the way he walks. I've never been attracted to a person's walk before, it never seemed like anything that a person would find attractive. But I could watch Fitz walk around all day; he has this sort of swagger, the kind that makes you just know he's an incredibly confident man. And that is so incredibly attractive.

I arrive back to my apartment and notice that Abby hasn't arrived home yet so I decide to be nice and get dinner ready. First though, I walk into my room and set my things down. I put my Longchamp bag on my desk and notice the little elephant figurines sitting there. I got them one summer from a local artist we met while camping in Mozambique. They are very pretty, one is purple and black and the other is blue and black and what I thought was so cool about them was that the patterns on each elephant perfectly mirrored the other. I bought both of them with the intention to give one to a friend or possibly Jake but for some reason I just couldn't part with them and they've just stayed with me. But right now I'm having a very strong urge to give one to Fitz.

The day of his birthday comes quickly and I decide I want to give him the elephant, I think he will appreciate it. I leave early for work so I can purposely arrive before him. I realize I am even there before his secretary Martha and so I walk into my office to set my things down and then walk into Fitz's office to put the card and elephant on his desk. I put it in a little box wrapped with simple brown paper. I turn to leave right when Fitz enters.

He looks a little surprised to see me but after a moment a big smile breaks out on his face. "Good morning, Liv." He says with a big smile.

I exhale deeply and respond, "Hi, Fitz, good morning and also happy birthday!"

He shakes his head and laughs; I know he knows that Harrison told me. "Thank you, I appreciate it."

I turn to point at the card and small box on his desk, "Sorry, I wasn't creeping around your office or anything I just wanted to put these on your desk before you arrived."

He looks over to what I am point at and his lips form into a small smile, "Liv, you really didn't have to get me anything. That was totally unnecessary."

"It's not much, it's just you've been so kind to me I wanted to get you a little something."

He walks around his desk and me and sets his things down so that he can pick up the card and box. "Can I open them now?"

I laugh, "Of course you can, it's your birthday."

He grins at me and picks up the card, opening it and smiling to himself as he reads it. He looks up at me, "Thank you, that was perfect."

My cheeks are getting warm and he reaches down for the small box. He slowly tears the paper off and opens the box. He sees the elephant and now his lips are pursed shut and now I am nervous that it was a mistake to give it to him. He holds the elephant in his hands, running his fingers over the hand-carved detailing and looking at it closely. Finally he looks up at me and his eyes are wide, he actually looks like he's having an emotional reaction to the elephant and it's making me a little nervous.

"Did you get this in Africa?" He asks quietly.

I nod my head, "Yeah, after I graduated last spring we went to South Africa to see my family and we took a camping trip through Mozambique. I got it from a local artist we met there, he carved and painted all of these fantastic wood animals and donated the money to a local orphanage so I bought a bunch of stuff. I actually have another one like it, I bought it as a present and I ended up not giving it to anyone and after I saw the elephant on your wall and we talked about Africa I figured it was something you would appreciate."

Now he's grinning at me, "I absolutely love it Livvy. Thank you so much."

He steps forward and pulls me in for a hug. His strong arms are gripping my body, one hand is resting on my upper ribcage and the other is resting on my waist. I put my arms around his body, resting them on his lower back. I want to pull myself in closer but I'm afraid that if I do it's going to elicit a longing I don't really want to unleash this early in the morning, especially not if I'm going to have to see Fitz for the rest of the day. That would be nothing but frustrating.

He releases me and I step back. "Thank you Livvy, this means a lot to me."

I smile at him and my brain has sort of stopped working from the feeling of his fantastic muscles and so I start to walk over to the door to my office, "I'm glad you like them, happy birthday Fitz." I manage a normal-ish smile and I walk back into my own office. I sink down in my chair and put my head in my hands. If only Fitz wasn't next door to me so I could scream my sexual frustration out, but sadly I can't because he would definitely hear and that would be extremely awkward. Fitz turned 43 today, that makes him 17 years and 8 months older than me, it's not _that_ much older. I mean, it's not like I even stand a chance with him anyway.

I sigh and shake my head, turning on my computer so I can get to work and hopefully get Fitz out of my head for at least a little while.


	6. Chapter 6

_"She smiled, a moving childish smile that was like all the lost youth in the world."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

It's 10 AM and our day has been quiet so far, I've been drafting a couple press releases but other than that, it has been a relatively boring day. I know my boss is bored because I can hear him outside his office asking his secretary about how her oldest son is doing on his traveling soccer team. Not that he wouldn't do it otherwise, because he definitely would, Fitz is the kind of guy who knows all of his employees personally, he knows the names of their husbands, wives, and children and what they enjoy doing in their free time. He is always asking Martha about her kids and how they are doing in school because he actually does care, but I know he's bored because he's going into detail about soccer strategy with her. A few minutes later she gets a call and I hear him head back into his office to take it. Several minutes later the door between our offices opens slowly and Fitz pops his head in. He only just pops his head in or knocks when he's bored, when he's busy with something he just barges and either sits down or exuberantly motions me into his office.

"How are those press releases coming?" He asks, not coming any further into my office and instead waiting until I invite him in.

I turn to the door, "Almost done, just proof reading my last one and then they are all yours." I say giving him a small smile before looking back to my computer screen. "You can come in by the way." I add, grinning at my screen but not making eye contact with him because I know he's probably blushing, I like that he blushes, I like that I can make him blush, it adds this human quality to a man I'm pretty sure must be part god. He always blushes when I catch him doing silly things like checking gossip sites on his computer or catching up on television when things are slow.

He sits down in one of the leather armchairs in front of my desk and puts his right ankle on his left knee, his right arm leaning on the back of the chair, his palm supporting the side of his head. I continue to proofread but secretly glance at him as I do it. His curly hair has grown slightly since we first met three months ago, just enough so it curls a little bit more at the ends. I'm jealous of his right hand because it's touching his beautiful hair and right now I would just love to be that hand, I'm sure his hair feels as silky as it looks. And now I've completely stopped proofreading.

"You know I can multi-task." I say, still not looking up from the screen of my laptop, I know he wants to talk to me.

He laughs, "Is it that obvious that I'm bored?"

I smile but don't speak yet; I can feel his brilliant grin beating towards me like the sun.

I quickly finish the paragraph I am proofing and look up, "Yes, you are very obvious when you're bored. Most people enjoy the random boring moments at work but you can't handle them and so you wander and pop your head into people's offices." I say. I love to rib him and I love that he just shoots it right back.

"Hey, don't forget that I also check up on the Kardashians." He says, trying to be serious but failing miserably.

"Oh right, how are they doing this week?" I ask, sarcastically.

"Oh you know, still enjoying being famous for no reason at all." He says, shifting his body so he's now leaning backward with his arms crossed and his right ankle still resting on his left knee.

I shake my head at him and quickly finish proofreading my last press release.

"Done!" I say, hitting the print button and dramatically throwing my hands up in the air. He laughs at me and uncrosses his leg, putting it on the ground and leaning towards me and putting his elbows on his knees.

I grab the press releases from the printer and reach across my desk to hand them to him.

"Thank you." He says, giving them a quick look and then putting them down. "I'll give these to Martha to send out."

I give him a small look of confusion, "Aren't you going to proof them?" He always proofs my press releases.

"Nope, they're always perfect, I trust you." He says looking at me with a very serious but kind look on his face.

I'm kind of shocked. "Thank you." I stutter out. It really means a lot to me to learn that he trusts me.

He just smiles at me for a moment and then changes the topic, "I forgot, I actually do have something to talk to you about. GGC is in charge of publicity and coordination for an event in Santa Barbara in February called Quasar-Con, it seemed like something that was up your alley so I wanted to ask you if you were interesting in helping with it. It's a huge event and we have quite a few people working on it within the firm. I haven't been able to help the last few years but when I got the confirmation for the dates and found out I'd be able to go, I also thought it might be something you'd be interested in. You've been such an asset these past few months I figured we could work on something that you're interested in, that is if it is something you'd be interested in."

I'm literally in shock from what he has just told me. My mouth is hanging wide open and I'm too stunned to even be the slightest bit embarrassed. I've been to Quasar-Con eight times. It's honestly my favorite four days of every single year. Quasar-Con is this massive convention where all things geek convene; they have panels for everything from comic books to movies and television shows to workshops detailing comic book creations to costume competitions and so much more. I've gone every year I possibly could.

I've been sitting here staring at him like I've been petrified for a full five minutes but I just can't think of anything to say that isn't a squeal.

Fitz starts to laugh at me, "I take it you're interested." He bridges the silence; he's always doing that.

I nod my head vigorously, my eyes still wide like an animal caught in headlights, and try to find words that aren't a huge load of mumbo jumbo.

He stands up and steps forward to look more closely at me, his smile turning to one of slight concern. "Olivia?"

I just can't contain my excitement anymore; I jump up from my chair and practically leap over my desk to him. I can't contain my squeals of excitement anymore either, "Oh my gosh oh my gosh are you serious?" I exclaim as I throw myself at him and engulf him in a hug, my arms clutching him around his neck. I know this is inappropriate but right now I really don't care. Fitz has made my day-no let's be honest here-he has made my year! We've hugged before but it's always been friendly hugs in circumstances where a small hug is completely appropriate and if anyone walked in on this it might seem slightly inappropriate. Thankfully Fitz obviously doesn't care that this is an inappropriate gesture on my part and returns the hug, pulling me to him. I can hear him laughing in my ear. In my midst of squeals and repeating thank you over and over again my body realizes the close proximity it is in to Fitz. Our bodies are touching. My entire body is pressed up against my ridiculously good-looking boss. And oh, it's nice. I don't have to rely on the few times I touched him lightly during our other hugs to fuel my imagination of how wonderful his body is, because now I can really feel it. I'm really glad I opted against the black kitten heel Mary Janes I initially decided went best with my outfit today and switched them last minute for my favorite pair of five inch suede cobalt blue pumps because they make the gap in height between us a little less significant. Our thighs are touching, my bony hips are practically driving themselves against his lower pelvis and his hips are touching my stomach making it hard for me to breath, our chests are so close together I almost feel bonded to him, my head is in his neck and I'm realizing he smells even better up close, and my hands are clutching him around his muscular shoulders. And it's even better because his hands are wrapped around my waist, clutching the sides of my body and his head is in my mess of hair that can't seem to stay straight no matter how much product is in it and to top it off I can hear his gorgeous laugh right in my ear and his breath is hot on my neck.

I finally come back to earth and realize that I should probably let go of him, even though I really don't want to.

I finally let go of him and step back, giving him his personal space back that I so abruptly invaded.

"Thank you so much." I say once more. He smiles at me, "Absolutely, like I said, you've been such an asset the last three months that I wanted to give you a chance to do something you'd really enjoy."

"Thank you, seriously this is one of my absolute favorite things." I answer still trying to contain the excitement in my voice.

"Have you been before?" He asks, cocking his head in the adorable way he does when he's interested in something.

I can feel the blush creep up on my face; he's going to think I'm a total nerd when I tell him how many times I've been. "Actually, I've been eight times."

The look on his face is one of shock, "Holy crap eight times. That is…dedication."

I laugh, "If by dedication you mean crazy and obsessive."

He grins at me again, "Oh yeah, definitely. But that's great you shouldn't be embarrassed. You have more than one passion and that's pretty rare."

His words make me want to melt, why is he so nice to me? Even Jake, who knows the real reason why Quasar-Con is so important to me, thinks the number of times I've attended is ridiculous. Fitz has no idea why it's so important that I attend whenever I can and he's still more supportive than someone who was my boyfriend for six years.

He looks at his watch, "Well, it's almost 12, would you like to grab some lunch with me across the street? My treat, but you have to tell me all about how you became a Quasar-Con pro."

Internally I'm doing flips. GGC has a little deli company they hire to bring around food, mostly sandwiches, salads, and soups, that the employees can buy. They also have a great place to eat in the office. It's a nice little break room type area designed to look more inviting that your average office break room, plus it's got a great terrace that looks over the city of San Jose that you can eat out on when the weather is good. Unless Fitz has lunch with a client, he usually eats with his employees. We've only had lunch-that wasn't with a client-outside of the office one time, and that was my second day and Harrison was also there. But today he's offering to take just me to lunch because he wants to talk with _just me_. I can't help but be a little giddy about that.

"I would be happy to tell you all about how I'm a Quasar-Con pro, however I'm not sure you really want to know." I tease.

He laughs at me and walks back through the door connecting our offices, "Oh believe me, I really do. Meet me outside in three minutes." He says, holding up three fingers and closing the door between our offices as he disappears into his own.

I quickly grab my medium-sized Longchamp bag, double check that my sweater is in it, and walk out the door. It's only about 30 seconds later that Fitz walks out his door, informs Martha that we're going to lunch across the street and walks up to me.

"Ready?" He asks.

I nod my head, as he motions for me to lead the way.

We arrive at the little bistro across the street a few moments later and find a table outside. It's a lovely day out but it's slightly breezy so I'm glad I remembered my sweater. We place our orders and when the waitress walks away I pull the cardigan out of my bag and put it on.

Fitz looks at me like I'm nuts. "Seriously?" He asks, "I know its November but its 75 degrees, the weather is perfect, how are you cold?" He sounds almost baffled.

I roll my eyes at him; everyone is always making fun of me for being cold all the time.

"My family lived on the Marine Corps base in Bahrain from the time I was five until a little after I turned 10. Summer days there average about 95 degrees. I guess I just got used to it and never reverted back to a normal human being. I'm pretty much cold all the time unless it's at least 85 degrees." I say, shrugging my shoulders.

"I didn't know you lived in Bahrain. I have been to the base a few times but I was never there for more than a day, what was it like to live there?" He asks, seeming genuinely interested in my experience overseas as a Marine Corps brat.

"I really enjoyed it. My Dad was stationed there but spent a lot of time going back and forth between the carriers, destroyers and base camps so he was away a lot. He was a JAG attorney for most of my life so he didn't have typical deployments, he just went where he was needed and Bahrain was a more convenient base for interacting with the fleet. I liked it there; I became fascinated with the Middle East while there."

The waitress brings our lunches and we sit in comfortable silence for a moment before he asks another question, "Did you get to travel at all while you were there?"

"Yeah, a lot, apparently in the late 90's it was much safer to travel around there, at least that's what my Mom says, I'm not sure if I really want to know the truth."

He laughs at that statement, "So your Mom likes to travel?"

"LOVES it." I say, emphasizing the word loves. "She thought it was really important for us to learn about the culture while we were living there so she took us everywhere she possibly could, Qatar, Kuwait, Oman, the UAE, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Israel, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan, India, Turkey. We spent a lot of time with our family in Africa too and traveled around there quite a bit. My Mom arranged a decent amount of correspondence school for us because she felt that if we had to live over there we needed to take advantage of the opportunities."

Fitz looks completely overwhelmed by what I've just told him.

"Christ." He says, in the three months I've known him I don't think I've ever seen him at a loss for words. "Were you sad to leave?" He finally says.

I shrug, "That's just life when you're a military brat." I say, not making eye contact with him as a play around with the french fries on my plate. "I didn't have to move around nearly as much as most military kids do."

"You were sad to leave." He says and it's not a question, it's a statement. And he's right, I was really sad to leave and thinking about it makes me nostalgic.

"Have you been back since?" He asks, looking at me but not touching his food.

"I've only been back to Bahrain once; about five years ago we visited some friends there. I've been to the area a few times since and we go back to Africa at least once a year to see my Mom's family."

"Is living there what made you decide to become a journalist?" He asks, still looking at me with this serious face that I cannot quite read.

"Yeah." I say with a smile, thinking back to the moment I decided I wanted to be a journalist. "When we left Bahrain we spent a month in Palos Verdes before we moved out to Okinawa and I got to play with my cousins for the first time in about two years and I was trying to explain to them all the cool things I got to experience and they just didn't get it. So that was when I decided that I wanted to be a journalist so I could write about different cultures and inform people who weren't so fortunate to be able to travel like I had. I just wanted to help inform people because the world felt so big to me and then I came back and the world to my cousins was just their house and neighborhood, they didn't understand how different things could be, what a tiny place in the world they actually occupied."

He's smiling at me now, a smile that if he gave to me while I was standing I would probably go weak in the knees from.

His phone beeps indicating he has a text message and breaks our moment. I assume its Martha telling him a client has called. We're done eating and I suppose it's time to go. He looks at his watch and then back at me.

"We should probably get back to the office." He stands up and puts several bills on the table, I'm 98% sure he's just tipped this waitress about 40%, and waits for me to grab my bag and stand up too.

I thank him for lunch and we start walking back to the office and after a moment of silence he surprises me a little bit by exclaiming, "You distracted me!" He says as he starts to laugh.

I look at him quizzically, "What are you talking about?" Because I honestly have no idea.

"I wanted to ask you about Quasar-Con but you are clearly too smart for me and distracted me with your sweater. Very sneaky, Miss Pope." He says.

I laugh, that wasn't my intention but I sure am glad he got distracted from the topic of Quasar-Con because most of the conversation surrounding that would be sure to prove extremely embarrassing for me.

"I'll get those stories out of you. I can be sneaky too." He says, winking at me and making me laugh harder.

We make our way back into the office and he turns to me before entering his, "Thanks for eating with me, Quasar girl." He says before he shuts the door and I enter my office as well. I shut the door and fall back against it. I exhale deeply and try to remind myself that it's just a crush and he's my boss and much older than me so nothing can happen. But I can't shake the feeling that it's not just a crush, that I'm really falling for him and that thought feels ridiculous because it can't be true, can it? I quickly shake off that feeling and straighten my skirt before heading back to my desk to finish my work for the day.


	7. Chapter 7

_"You know I'm old in some ways—in others—well, I'm just a little girl. I like sunshine and pretty things and cheerfulness—and I dread responsibility."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side Of Paradise_

* * *

I'm heading home for the first time since I moved up to San Jose. Fitz is apparently adamant about his employees having adequate time off for the holidays so its two days before Thanksgiving and I'm cruising down the Cabrillo Highway and feeling fantastic. Dad wanted me to fly and normally I would because there's almost nothing I love more than flying, but I wanted to grab a few more of my things from the house and there's no way I'd have enough room in my suitcase for them if I flew. Normally when I do drive I take the 101 all the way down to Palos Verdes because it's faster, but it's such a beautiful day that I can't resist Highway 1 and its incomparable view of the Pacific Ocean.

I cruise down the beautiful California coastline. Although I don't remember much of my early childhood in California, it's always felt more like home than any other place. I drive through my favorite city, Carmel, and daydream about owning a house there one day. I love how simple this drive is, practically all Highway 1 and the 101 all the way down the coast, and I've had this route memorized since I got my license. I drive through Big Sur, SLO, Santa Barbara, and consider staying on the 101 but instead I exit for the 1 and continue my coastal tour through gorgeous Malibu and the Pacific Palisades. I assume I'm going to hit traffic once I get to Santa Monica but I don't really mind, I finally pass LAX and now I'm in the home stretch. El Segundo, Manhattan, Hermosa, Redondo, and finally home, beautiful Palos Verdes, I pull into our gated community situated on the beautiful cliffs above the ocean. It's still a little strange coming home to this swanky neighborhood.

The first fifteen years of my life were spent on military bases. It was a great life in my opinion; I loved the feeling of community on the bases. I was fifteen when my Dad resigned his commission and we moved to a beautiful but normal sized house in Redondo Beach. My parents set up a basic law practice and they did well, but several large class action lawsuits changed that. All of a sudden my parents were in high demand and that demand elevated our lifestyle. I came back from my first year of college to an enormous new house in Palos Verdes and a brand new lifestyle that went with it. My parents were suddenly extremely successful and even though it changed our lifestyle it didn't really change them, my Dad will always be a Marine at heart and my Mom will always be the Innocence Project lawyer she started out as.

I punch the code to the gate and I drive up the hills to our house, which resides close to the top. Even though I haven't spent much time at this house, it does feel like home. I guess it's because when you're a military kid home is just where your family is, not necessarily a specific house or city.

I pull into the driveway and park behind the garage that used to be mine, it now houses a ridiculously unpractical sports car my Dad impulse bought six months ago, and I get out of the car. I enter the house and get pummeled by our two German Shepherds, Ruby and Ranger. I am on the floor because the dogs have knocked me over in their excitement, but I don't really mind, the best thing about dogs in my opinion is how unconditionally they love you even when you do things like not see them for four months like I have just done.

"Ruby, Ranger, off!" I hear the distinct sound of my Mom's voice, her South African accent is subtle but she hasn't lost it completely. She claps her hands and walks toward us, indicating to the dogs to calm down. Both Ruby and Ranger were former bomb sniffing dogs for the military and came to us when they were retired via a friend of my Dad's so they both listen extremely well.

I get up and brush myself off as Mom stands in front of me, laughing.

"Hey Mom." I say finally, smiling at her and walking into her open arms for a hug.

She squeezes me tightly, "Oh, Liv, I'm so happy to see you." She says as she continues to hug me with the ferocity of a mother bear.

I laugh and finally pull myself away from her, "Me too, Mom."

Her hand finds its way to my hair, "You cut off your red tips! I liked them." She says with a frown.

I laugh, all my friends were always jealous of how cool my mom was about things like dying my hair other colors and general rebellious teenage things, she actually encouraged the ones that weren't against the law.

"Sorry Mom, I didn't think it was professional."

"You're probably right, I still liked them though, but I'm glad you kept your hair long."

"Remember the chin length hair fiasco? Never again!"

We both laugh and Mom puts her arm around me and leads me into the kitchen where there is food all over the place.

I sit down at the island and Mom pours me a cup of hot cider. I breathe deeply and smell the aroma coming from the cup, it's glorious. I look around the kitchen, as strange as it is to live in this huge house, I really do love coming home to it. The house sits on the top of a hill overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The back of the house on this floor and the floor below it are both floor to ceiling windows and French doors so that you never miss the gorgeous view of the ocean. Since the house is on a hill we have a half basement, a rare thing for a California house, and the main floor is connected to a gorgeous deck that winds around the site of the house. The partial basement leads out to the infinity pool, pool house, and tennis court on the back side of the house. Our bedrooms are all upstairs and each has a little balcony that gives us all our own private views of the backyard and the ocean. I love my bedroom because it's on the corner of the house and there's a great trellis under it that makes it a piece of cake to sneak in and out of when I don't want my parents to know that I'm going out late.

"Where are Dad and Caroline?" I ask, finally realizing that my younger sister arrived home over the weekend and normally she would have found me and freaked out by now.

"Caroline is out with Danielle and your Dad will be home around seven, he's getting all his work sorted out today so the entire office can have tomorrow off. Victoria's plane arrives tomorrow afternoon, I don't know if she told you."

"Great." I say, taking another sip of my cider.

Victoria is my older sister; she is a year and a half older than me and works for a designer in San Francisco. Caroline is my younger sister, she is almost twenty-two and she attends college in Chicago, she's going to graduate this summer, which seems crazy to me. I get along with both of my sisters very well but Caroline and I are probably closer, we just have more similar interests with each other than Victoria.

"Are you going to see Jake?" Mom asks, her back is turned to me so I give her a giant eye roll. My parents absolutely love Jake and just can't understand why I don't want to settle down with him.

"Yeah, I need to break it off with him officially." I know I'm coming off a bit aloof but I don't really care.

Mom turns around and gives me one of her 'I just don't understand you' looks and sighs. "Olivia, you've been together for so long, it would be a shame to ruin what you two have just because you moved to another city."

Now it's my turn to sigh, "Mom, it's not that, I just don't think he's the person I'm meant to be with. Do you really want me to stay with someone I'm not in love with just because I've been with him for a while?"

"Honey, I just think that maybe you're confused. You used to be so in love with him, I think you're just afraid because you're so young and you think it's too early to settle down. But sweetie, twenty-five isn't that young."

I roll my eyes at her, "Mom, it's not that at all. I might have thought that maybe I was in love with him but now I know that wasn't love because I've grown and I've experienced enough to know that I can have loving feelings for him as a friend, but know that I'm not _in_ love with him."

Mom turns around briskly and stops what she's doing to stare at me for a minute, "Did you meet someone else?"

I can feel myself getting flustered even though I'm trying hard to hide it. "What? Mom, no, I just…I'm figuring out who I am on my own and I don't think the person I want to be includes Jake."

She stares at me for a minute more—she knows I'm lying. I'm holding my breath and silently praying that she doesn't say anything else.

Thankfully she turns back around and just sighs, she knows better than to get into this with me by now.

I choose this as prime opportunity to get my things and take them to my room.

"Mom, I'm going to go unpack my crap." I say, heading out of the kitchen before she can respond, Ruby and Ranger following close behind. I grab my bag and head up the stairs to my bedroom. I make it up and toss my things on the floor and throw myself on the bed, both dogs following my lead. The thing I've missed most about living at home is cuddling with the dogs, it's so comforting, also my king size bed, I _really_ miss that too. I bet Fitz has a king size bed…nope, I can't think about that. That is a place I absolutely cannot go.

I decide I need a nap, it was a long drive and I got up early. I open the French doors and let the warmth, sunshine, and fresh ocean air roll into my room and I drift off to sleep.

I had a nice time with my family the first night back, Dad, Mom, Caroline, and I ate and played games until late into the night. It's always nice to be with my family; hopefully I'll be able to get home a little more often from now on. I figured that I should just get talking to Jake over with so I asked him to meet me for coffee the next day. It's about ten am and I'm sitting quietly in Café 310 waiting for Jake to arrive and sipping a delicious soy latte, I just can't seem to find a place in San Jose that makes a latte quite as perfectly as Café 310.

I see Jake walk in the door and when he spots me his eyes light up and he starts to grin, power-walking his way over to me.

I stand up to hug him and he goes in to kiss me but I turn my head so he kisses my cheek instead of my lips. As he pulls away I notice his previous smile has fallen into a frown.

"I'm going to order." He says to me and then walks over to grab a drink.

When he comes back to me a few minutes later with his coffee his smile has returned to his face.

"Liv, you look gorgeous. I'm so happy you called me."

I force a smile, "Yeah, I'm sorry I haven't been returning your calls, I've been really busy and I just needed some time to think."

"That's okay, I get it Liv."

One thing that always drove me a little bonkers about Jake was how understanding he is. Sometimes I just wanted someone who would yell at me when I did something crappy but Jake never seemed to get angry.

"So, how have you been? How's work?"

"I..I really like it, obviously it's not exactly where I want to be but I am really enjoying it. I get to work with a bunch of really great people and I'm making a lot of connections. I think it's going to be a great place to be for a little while."

"That's so great, Liv. I am so happy for you."

"How about you, how's your job?"

"It's great, work is going well. Same as you, not exactly where I want to be but I like it enough and it's a great job for starting a career. I should only have to put in another year and I'll have enough experience to start applying for other jobs, jobs in San Jose…" He starts to trail off as if he's asking what I think about that without actually asking it.

"Do you really want to live in San Jose?"

"Well, I don't know, but I'd like to be around you and I know you want to stay in the bay area."

"Yeah, I want to stay up there but you shouldn't move there just for me, if you're going to move up there you should want to move there for yourself."

"But, you're up there, Liv, I want to be with you. I don't really care where we are, I just want things to get back to normal between us." He looks kind of desperate and I feel kind of bad for being about to break his heart but I know it's going to be worse if I let this go on for much longer.

"Jake, I…I think we should take a break. Maybe a permanent break." I cringe a little bit at my words; I definitely could have phrased that better. But honestly, how can you break up with someone you've been seeing for six years in a nice way? You can't, breakups suck, period.

"Olivia, you don't mean that." He sounds so hurt.

"I do, I'm sorry I do, it's just that I'm finally figuring out who I am and what I want and it's so different from what you want and I just…I just don't think we're meant to be."

He looks like he's about to cry and I don't know what else to say.

"No."

I'm kind of shocked at his response, "No?"

"No, Liv. I don't agree. I want whatever you want. I love you and I want to be with you no matter what I have to give up to do it."

I can't help but shake my head, "No, I could never make you do that. That's not what love is, if you give up things that you want for me sooner or later you're going to resent me and I don't want that. I want you to have everything you've worked so hard for Jake."

"Olivia, what I want is _you_."

"I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore."

I stand up to leave, and he gets up too and grabs my arm, "Liv, I know you don't mean this so I am going to wait for you. We can take a break but it's not going to be a permanent one. I know we're supposed to be together and I don't care how long I have to wait for you, I'll do it, you're worth it."

I can feel the tears in my own eyes now, "Please, don't. You're going to end up hating me and I don't want that."

"Liv, I could never hate you because this isn't the end of us, you always do this. You get scared and you panic but you always come back. I know we're going to end up together when you figure yourself out, I just know it."

I don't know what else to say to him, all I know is that I have to get out of here before he says anything else and so I quickly exit the building and practically run to my car.

I get in and burst out crying, I'm not crying because I'm sad about trying to end it with Jake—because I'm not. I'm crying because I'm so scared he's going to wait for me and end up hating me because he waits for me and then doesn't get me. Just because I'm not in love with him doesn't make me okay with losing him as a friend.

It takes me a little while but I manage to compose myself and I finally feel okay enough to drive away.

I can't bring myself to go home just yet, my eyes are still red and puffy and Mom will know exactly what just happened if she sees my face like this. I drive to the beach and get out of my car. The beach is my favorite place. It's the one characteristic every home I've ever known has shared and it's always where I go when I need to think. I find a secluded spot by the rocks and sit down.

I'm startled when I get a text on my phone but I'm pleasantly surprised that it is from Fitz. He wants to know where a file is in my office. I can't explain why, but instead of texting him back I decide to call him.

"Hi." He says in his sultry, sexy voice.

"Hi." I say back, trying to sound as calm and casual as possible.

"I'm sorry, Livvy, you didn't need to take time out of your vacation to call me."

"No, no it's no big deal, I'm just…I'm not busy at all. Um, the file is in the cabinet directly behind my chair, third row."

"Thanks so much Livvy, you are too good to me."

I'm glad he can't see me because I'm grinning like a maniac even through my tears.

"Why are you at the office anyway?" I ask him.

"I'm not flying out until later tonight so I thought I'd get some work done."

"I think you like your job too much." I say with a laugh.

"Some days." He responds and we fall into a comfortable silence.

"Livvy, are you okay?"

I'm frankly quite surprised that he can tell from the brief conversation we just had that I'm not okay.

"I…I'm…I…" I can't help but stutter as I try to come up with an excuse.

"Olivia Pope, don't lie to me."

I laugh but I still can't bring myself to say anything.

"We could talk about it if you want…or I could just stay on the phone, you don't have to talk. I can just…be here."

I can't help but smile again, "Can we do the latter? I don't think I'm ready to talk about it just yet."

"Of course."

We sit there in silence for a few moments, the sound of his breathing is oddly comforting and I can't help but wish that he were sitting here, staring out at the ocean with me.

"Fitz?" I ask, just making sure he's still there.

"Yeah, Livvy?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Livvy."

"Well, I should probably go. I hope you have a good holiday, Fitz."

"Same to you, I'll see you soon. Smile Olivia, you'll see me again in five days." He teases.

I burst out laughing, "Yes, that's what I'm upset about, you've hit it right on the nose as usual Fitz."

He's laughing too, he's such a dork but I enjoy it, it's comforting.

"Goodbye Fitz."

"Goodbye Olivia."

And with that I hang up the phone. I like that Fitz makes me feel so comfortable, but at the same time it scares me. Like maybe I'm reading into this more than I should and he's just being kind. I don't know, but it's getting harder and harder to hide the fact that I like him.


	8. Chapter 8

_"He smiled understandingly—much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced—or seemed to face—the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

It's always been hard for me to go back to work or school after a break so this Monday morning I'm dragging my feet the entire time I get ready. I'm one of the last to arrive at work but I'm still on time, and I head into my office, drop my things, and sink into my chair. It's a little cold in the office, though I'm sure I am the only one who thinks that, so I keep my coat on until I can warm up.

A moment later there's a knock at my door, of course it's Fitz. "Come in." I say, still sort of curled up in my chair.

He walks in with a bright smile on his face and I feel better about being at work already.

"Livvy, hi."

I smile at him and sit up a little straighter in my chair, "Hi Fitz."

He plops down in one of the armchairs across from my desk, "So how was your holiday?"

I lean forward, elbows on my desk, "It was very nice. Typical crazy family dinner, my family and Harrison's, we always have Thanksgiving together."

"That sounds nice. You regret trading Southern California for Northern?" He asks, motioning toward my coat.

I laugh, "You would think that considering how I'm still sporting a winter coat, but I actually don't mind the cold, I mean most normal people wouldn't even consider 68 degrees cold."

Fitz laughs at me and shakes his head.

I'm feeling warmer now so I stand up to take my coat off. Today I am wearing a white bodycon dress with black accents down the sides and on the three quarter length sleeves. I have to admit I look really good in it, it shows off my slender body without showing a lot of skin.

As I take my coat off I can feel Fitz's eyes on me, they scan my body and then abruptly look away as if he's embarrassed but I can see them slowly make their way back to me out of the corner of my eye.

I smile to myself as I hang my coat up on the rack, I can feel his burning gaze in my backside.

I think I've actually made him nervous.

"So how was your holiday?" I ask him as I sit back down in my chair.

He adjusts himself rather awkwardly in the chair and then he speaks, "It was nice. I went up to Seattle to visit my cousin and her family. It was…loud." He says with a laugh. "Lots of small children running around."

I freeze for a minute, I never even thought about the fact that Fitz could have kids. Kids that could actually be closer to my age than to his, which would probably mean that we could never happen, like that's even a possibility anyway. But he would have mentioned if he had kids, wouldn't he? Or there would at least be pictures of them around the office, right?

It's almost like he reads my mind because the next thing he says is, "I enjoy being around them but never having had any kids of my own I can be a little clueless about certain things."

So he doesn't have any kids. That's interesting.

"I know what you mean, sort of, two of my cousins have kids and I am sort of clueless around them too. I really like them but I get so nervous sometimes. I mean, the only baby I've really ever been around is my younger sister Caroline and she's only four years younger than me so that really didn't help me much."

Before Fitz can respond again Martha buzzes my phone letting Fitz know he has a call. He thanks her quickly and gets up, sighing as he stands. "Well, I guess it's time for the real work to start again."

I smile at him and he walks back into his office.

The day goes by rather quickly and before I know it I'm home and getting ready for Abby to arrive by making Margaritas. She said she would be home around 9 and it's almost 9 now. I really need to talk to her about this Jake thing. Since I got back so late last night we didn't get a chance to delve into it and I really need some help figuring it out.

She walks in the door fifteen minutes later and I immediately pull the pitcher of margaritas out of the fridge.

She sees me and drops her things on the floor where she's standing. "Are we getting drunk? Awesome."

I laugh, "Long day?"

She grabs two margarita glasses from the cabinet and starts to pour. "You have no idea, artists can be so fucking frustrating. Am I frustrating? You'd let me know if I was a fucking pain in the ass, wouldn't you?"

I laugh, "Well, you can be a pain in the ass but that's okay, you're not unbearable."

Abby rolls her eyes at me, "Thank you, that was comforting."

I continue to laugh, "I didn't mean it in a bad way, I meant it in a way that you know what you want and you don't accept any less than the best from people. But you deserve that Abby, you're a amazing artist."

She smiles at me, "I think you're the love of my life Liv. Can we just marry each other?"

I pick up my margarita glass and put my other arm around her waist, leading us to the sofa in the den. "We would be a great couple, wouldn't we?"

We plop down on the couch and turn so we are sitting toward each other.

"We would be an amazing couple Liv! I mean think about it, we never fight, we're not afraid to call each other our on our shit, we are both neat freaks, and we've kissed before so that awkwardness is out of the way."

I throw my head back in laughter, "It would be perfect, except for the fact that we are both attracted to men."

Abby rests he elbow on the back of the sofa and props her head up, "Yeah, that fucking sucks doesn't it? Men are the worst."

I nod my head in agreement.

"Speaking of men who are the worst, how's your boyfriend?"

I groan, "I tried to break up with him."

Abby slams her margarita down on the coffee table, almost spilling it, and then starts jumping up and down on the sofa.

"YES, finally! Wait," she stops jumping, "hold on, you _tried_ to break up with him?"

I shake my head yes. "Yeah, I suggested a permanent break and he said no. So technically now we are on just a regular break I guess, which we were kind of already on, but he's convinced that I'm going to change my mind."

Abby picks her margarita back up, "Ugh that boy is too obsessed with you. So you are on a break though?"

"Yeah, he agreed to a break but for me this is permanent. I don't want to be with him anymore."

Abby grabs my hand and squeezes it, "That's good Liv, don't worry about him. You're moving on and that's okay. You are going to meet a guy who doesn't want to fix you and you are going to be happy together. Plus you're like way hotter than Jake is, I mean, he's good looking but you are gorgeous. You can definitely score a hotter guy."

I start to laugh, I can always count on Abby to stroke my ego, isn't that what friends are for?

"Hey, so you want to go back to that piano bar on Friday? I feel like karaoke."

I groan, "Ugh I wish I could but there's a book launch party on Friday night that we did all the PR for and Fitz invited me to go. Oh, but I bet Lauren and Savannah would want to go! You should text her, she really likes you."

"Liv, god why do you have to be good at your job?" Abby jokingly whines. "I will call Lauren, she and Savannah are so fun, I'm inviting Quinn too. Maybe if you get done early you can meet up with us?"

"Yes, definitely. Just let me know where you are."

Friday night has arrived and I am standing in a corner of the huge ballroom this party is in. It's been a good night and I've met a lot of very interesting people but I'm getting a little tired of women throwing themselves at Fitz. I shouldn't be angry, I have absolutely no claim to him, but it's frustrating to watch women who might actually have a chance with him.

I look around the room and notice a small sign on a door that indicates it opens to a staircase that leads to the roof. It also says not to use it, but I've never been very good at following rules like that.

I quietly sneak out of the party and find myself at the roof. It's a chilly night so I regret not grabbing my coat beforehand but at least I'm wearing a long sleeve dress and plus the fresh air feels too good. The view of San Jose is gorgeous from this tall rooftop, all the city lights are brilliant in the darkness and I can see the bay in the distance, the glow of the moon reflecting off the water.

I need to cool it with this Fitz crush. I can't be upset about other women flirting with him anymore, it's not like he even makes any indication he likes them but even if he did it's none of my business.

I just stand here, staring out at the city because I can't bring myself to go back downstairs.

"It's a shame we aren't further out of the city, this would be a wonderful view of the stars." A voice says from behind me.

I turn around and I see Fitz standing a few feet behind me, hands in his pockets, looking up at the sky.

"Fitz, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to disappear. This was so impolite of me, I'm so sorry."

I'm a little afraid Fitz is going to get mad at me but he doesn't, instead he just turns to me and grins. "You don't need to apologize. I understand those things can get a little boring."

"No, no it wasn't that, I just needed a little fresh air. How did you know I was up here?"

He takes a step toward me, "I had a hunch, plus I saw the door shutting and right after that you were nowhere to be found."

I can't contain my slight smile at the thought that he was looking for me but I still feel bad. "I'm sorry."

He walks forward and leans against the brick railing surrounding the rooftop just a few inches away from me.

"What's going on with you, Livvy?" He asks quietly, turning to look at me.

I shrug my shoulders and sigh, "I'm fine, really."

He laughs, "You can't fool me Ms. Pope."

I smile, "I'm just, I'm trying to figure so many things out right now. Have you ever been so sure you want something for such a long time and then one day all of a sudden you just don't want it anymore and frankly you aren't sure why you ever wanted it in the first place? I mean, why is figuring out what you want so damn hard? And does it get any easier?"

Fitz turns toward me and smiles, it's just a slight smile but it's comforting nonetheless, "My marriage was like that. I think you can convince yourself you want something because maybe it's what you know you should want but I think that sooner or later your real self breaks through and you realize you're unhappy, but it's a struggle. It's a struggle to know yourself and I think that knowing what you want stems from that. You have to really figure out who you are before you can know what you want. But I think that part of figuring out what you want means experiencing what you don't want, that's how you know. But I don't think that's your problem Livvy. In the past several months I have known you, you seem to know what you want more than almost anyone I've ever met. I think that deep down you know what you want and maybe you're just afraid to admit it. But that's okay, Livvy, it's okay to be scared. The key is to not let that fear consume you and prevent you from living your life."

His blue eyes are gleaming in the moonlight and all I want to do it stare into them for eternity. I take a deep breath, "I am afraid. I'm afraid to let myself want something, to acknowledge how deeply and profoundly I want something and then get my heart broken because it doesn't want me back."

Fitz reaches over and grabs my hand lightly, "Anything that doesn't want you back doesn't deserve you. I know that that's just a thing people say but I can't convey just how much I mean it, you are an incredible, extraordinary person and any man would be out of his mind not to want you. And even if you did have an awful personality, which you absolutely do not, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and even though I hate to give away the secrets of my gender, truth is that even then you could still land any guy you wanted."

I start to laugh, "I promise I won't tell that you're selling out your gender. And thank you, I hate to pull you into my personal crap."

Fitz continues to rub his thumb along my hand and it's oddly soothing.

"Well, what about you, you've helped me with a problem, can I help you? I don't think you need any help in the romance department considering those women fawning all over you downstairs." I say, rolling my eyes.

Fitz laughs and shakes his head, "I'm not interested in any of them."

"Yeah, why is that? I mean, there were a couple really beautiful girls down there."

Fitz laughs and looks down, "I don't want just a pretty face, I'd like someone I can talk to, someone who shares my interests, someone who continues to surprise me every day. And I just don't think it's fair to lead a woman on when I know right away it won't go anywhere. I'm not interested in sleeping around or dating someone just for the physical aspect, I want a real, emotional connection with someone."

"What if you don't find it? Do you think it's okay to settle?"

He sighs, "I won't settle, not again at least. I think the right person is out there, but I decided a while ago that I'm not going to look for her. She'll find me."

"Oh really? You're just going to wait for the universe to beam her down to your door?" I can't help but giggle.

He's grinning at me, "Something like that."

"How do you stay so positive? I mean, I thought divorce was supposed to make people jaded and angry?"

Fitz laughs at me again, "It did make me jaded and angry for a while but I got over it, I realized that wasn't making me happy and I owed it to myself to figure out what made me happy because being a miserable person wasn't working for anyone."

"You know you're deceptively smart, I didn't think someone with such a pretty face could actually have a brain behind it." I say as I turn toward him while still leaning against the railing.

He turns toward me too, "I could say the same thing about you."

He's looking into my eyes and all I want to do is lean forward and press my lips against his. I just want to know what they feel like, I just want to sink into him and let him know that he's right, I _do_ know exactly what I want. I want him.

I bet his lips are soft and I bet his tongue would feel warm and comforting in my mouth. I don't realize it at first but I've started to shiver.

Of course Fitz notices and being the gentleman that he is starts to take off his suit jacket to give to me.

"Oh no, Fitz, I'm fine, we can just head back down to the party." I say, taking a step backward and holding my hand up. I can't put his jacket on, it will smell like him and have all the warmth from his body and I will faint and be extremely embarrassed.

"Livvy, come on, we can stay up here, just take my jacket." He already has his jacket off and he grabs the hand I have protesting and pulls me toward him, making me laugh.

He drapes the jacket over my shoulders and leads me over to a bench near the door back to the party.

The jacket does smell like him, it's this wonderful mix of cologne and a smell that is distinctly Fitz.

We sit down on the bench and Fitz puts an arm around me. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself and I lean in so that my shoulder is pressed against his chest.

"Fitz, we can go back to the party, really." I say looking up at him.

He shakes his head, "I don't want to go back to the party. How about you and I get out of here and we grab a few drinks at the bar around the street?"

I smile, "Are you sure you want to do that? You were having a good time."

He squeezes my shoulder, "Well I'm having a better time just with you, so what do you say?"

I nod my head and we get up and head toward the exit. We grab my coat and escape the party without anyone noticing, Fitz's absence might be noticed but it doesn't seem like he cares. We make our way to a bar a few blocks away and grab a high top table in a corner. Fitz flags the waiter down and we order our drinks.

"I think we should play a game." I say, taking a big swig of the drink the waiter just set in front of me.

Fitz laughs, "What kind of game?"

"Slaps."

Fitz looks confused, "Um, slaps, what the heck is that? It does not sound fun."

"I don't know if it's really called that, but that's what my sisters and I always called it. It's where one person holds out their hands with palms facing up and the other person holds theirs palms facing down and then the person with the hands underneath tries to slap the other persons hands and if they get the slap, they win but if the person pulls their hands away in time, they win."

"Oh, I know what this is! I used to play this as a kid too." Fitz interrupts, "And it's called red hands you goon." He's grinning wildly at me.

"Okay, fine then Mr. know-it-all, I'm slapping your hands first." I say as I adjust myself in my chair so that I am facing directly toward Fitz and we can hold our hands out without interference from the table.

"Let's see what you've got, Pope." Fitz teases, a devilish twinkle in his eye.

We lock eyes and my hands are hovering under his. We are both laughing, I'm probably going to lose and he's probably going to tease me about it but I don't really care, it's worth it just to spend the extra time with him.

I try a fake-out but he doesn't even flinch. I need to try and distract him.

"Can I ask you why you joined the Navy?"

Fitz doesn't break eye contact but he does give me a goofy grin, he knows I'm trying to distract him but he goes along with it.

"I wanted to serve my country."

"You're lying, I mean, I'm sure that was part of your reason but I don't think that was your whole reason for joining." My hands are still hovering above his but they are starting to quiver just a little bit.

"I wanted to do something where everything wasn't just handed to me, I wanted to really earn something. I chose the Navy because I knew I could be a pilot if I joined and that was always a dream of mine."

It's then that I choose to try for my slap but as I suspected he is faster than me and pulls his hands away more quickly.

He's grinning at me, "Damn you." I say shaking my head, "But anyway, um, sorry I was actually interested in why you joined the Navy, it wasn't just a diversion."

He's still grinning at me, "I know."

My cheeks feel flushed so I take a swig of my drink and then look over toward him again, "Okay, your turn."

Fitz doesn't ask me any questions to distract me; he simply looks into my eyes and stares me down. I feel like he can see into my mind and read my thoughts. I don't think I am paying attention at all when he pulls his hands up with lightning precision and slaps my hands. I'm kind of in shock and it makes me unsteady on the high chair and I almost lose my balance but Fitz jumps up and catches me. One of his hands grabs my arm and the other grabs my hand, steadying me in my chair.

After I regain my balance he lets go of me and his hands release my arm and my hand and are now cupping my neck and one of his thumbs is tracing my jaw lightly. He looks me in the eyes and for a moment I can't breathe until the eerily serious look on his face turns back into a grin. "Just making sure I haven't been an irresponsible boss and gotten you too drunk."

He lets go and steps backward so he can sit back down in his chair. I can't speak at the moment and so I just take another sip of my drink and then look at my watch. It's already late and I've probably already missed the girls at the piano bar but honestly I don't mind. I've really enjoyed my night with Fitz; it's nice to get to know him outside the office.

"We should probably get going, I'm sorry it's so late, you probably had other plans. You know, if you ever don't want to go to one of these events with me please just say so."

I can't help myself when I reach my hand over and grab his wrist. "Fitz, I actually enjoy going to these things with you. You're pretty good company."

Fitz picks up my coat and helps me put it on as I stand up. "You're pretty good company too."

And with that we make our way out of the bar and for some reason I cannot stop smiling.


	9. Chapter 9

_"Youth is like having a big plate of candy. Sentimentalists think they want to be in the pure, simple state they were in before they ate the candy. They don't. They just want the fun of eating it all over again."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise_

* * *

The holidays come and go and before I know it it's December 31st and I'm sitting on a lounge chair next to the pool at my parents' house and the house is alive with lights and music and tons of people. My parents are in Palm Springs with Harrison's parents and they left the house to Caroline and me. Caroline is on break from school and three friends are visiting her, two of those friends happen to be guys and that really freaked my Dad out. So, he begged Abby and me to come and supervise Caroline and her friends by bribing us with money to throw a killer party.

Most of our friends from Pepperdine have stayed in the Los Angeles area—granted it's a very large area—so this has turned into a Pepperdine reunion, which of course meant I had to invite Jake. Originally it was only going to be me, Abby, and a few of our closest college friends but we ended up running into a bunch of them when we went to the Americana yesterday and therefore this has turned into a massive party. I didn't really want to invite Jake, but he's going to hear about it from someone and I didn't want to seem like a huge bitch.

I got a great dress for tonight, it's silver with sequins all over, it's very short and has long sleeves and an open back. I look really good in it, like really good. Abby also has a sequin dress but hers is navy blue with cap sleeves, an open back, and is short but flowy on the bottom with tulle underneath. Abby wanted us both to wear sequins since we're the hostesses. I groaned and griped while we were shopping but truthfully I couldn't ask for a better best friend than Abby and I love that she goes over the top on everything.

As I'm sitting chatting to a few friends I spot Jake for the first time. He looks really good; he's in a dark grey suit and has a light blue shirt on underneath that is open at the collar. He can't rock the look like Fitz can but he does look really good.

He is talking to a couple other people and I'm still watching him when Caroline runs over to me.

"Liv, Liv, did you spot your sort-of-boyfriend? He looks pretty fly for a white guy!" Caroline laughs and then runs away. I shake my head, she's totally drunk and I now understand why my Dad wanted me to come down and supervise her.

I lose sight of Jake after Caroline walks away so I just go back to talking to my friends again. But a few minutes later I feel a presence beside me and I turn around.

"Hey Liv." Jake says, smiling at me.

"Hey Jake." I say back, smiling up at him.

"Want to take a walk with me?"

I look over at the girls I'm chatting with and they seem to be doing fine without me so I nod my head and get up to follow him.

We make our way around the pool to a quiet corner and we sit down. It's a beautiful night out and you can see the stars and moon reflecting over the ocean. I lean back on the lounge chair and put my feet up.

Instead of sitting on the lounge chair next to me Jake has taken a seat on the same chair as me and after I lean back he also leans back, putting his legs up next to mine.

He laughs and I shoot him a confused look, "Those heels are insane."

I look down at the violet pumps Victoria gave me for Christmas, "Yeah they were a present from Victoria."

We are interrupted by Caroline's squeals from the opposite side of the pool as she makes a shot in beer pong.

I start to laugh and Jake joins in. "She seems like she's having a great time." He says.

"Yeah, my parents were so afraid that she'd trash the house that they bribed Abby and I to come down and took down all of our Kwanzaa decorations early so nothing happened to them while they're in Palm Springs."

"But they left the Christmas decorations up?"

"Yeah, those are cheap, most of the Kwanzaa decorations are actually from Africa so they care more about those."

He laughs again and looks down, "I miss you Liv."

I sigh and lay my head back on the lounge chair. "Jake, please don't do this right now. I just want to have a nice night."

He turns slightly toward me. "Okay, for tonight let's just forget about everything else. We can just be Liv and Jake, remember those two people?"

I shake my head at how ridiculous he sounds but I can't help but laugh anyway.

"Come on, Liv. Remember when we met freshman year? We used to take off in the middle of the night and fly down the PCH in your little car. You'd sit up and just let the wind blow your hair around and then we'd park at the beach and just sit there talking all night. Liv, we can still be those people, just because we're grown up doesn't mean we have to grow apart."

His hand reaches down between us and grabs mine, I tense up but that probably isn't Jake, I just don't like holding hands all that much.

"Jake, that was all great but after sophomore year….after Huck…I became a different person and I can't go back to the person I was before that. It's not that easy. I can't be the person you want me to be, you were great after everything that happened, you really helped me come back, you wanted to fix me but at some point you have to understand that it's not your job to fix me. And maybe…maybe I'm okay with the person I've become. So I got a little lost for a while, that doesn't mean I don't know what I want."

"Liv, I understand that, I can do that. I know you're okay, Liv, I think you're perfect." His other hand moves up to cup my face and he pulls his body closer to mine.

Our faces are less than an inch apart and he slowly leans in and kisses me. I just let it happen because well, truthfully it hasn't happened in a while and I'm hoping that it makes me feel better.

His lips are warm and his tongue seeks entrance to my mouth and suddenly I feel unbelievably uncomfortable. This feels wrong, it feels awkward and strange and I just, I don't want to be kissing him. But I can't exactly pull away and tell him that. He's going to want to know why after six years I suddenly don't like kissing him, how the hell am I supposed to explain that? I certainly can't tell him it's because I have feeling for my boss—that would be bad. His hand makes its way down my body and to the hem of my dress.

I grab his hand with my own and I stop him and jump up.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I'm sorry. I just can't do this, I'm so sorry."

I flee into the house and don't stop until I get to my room.

Abby must have seen me because a few minutes later she appears in my room.

She sees that I am crying and she sits down on my bed with me and brushes the tears from my face.

"What the hell did that bastard do? Tell me know Liv and I'm going to go down there and let him have it."

I shake my head, "He didn't do anything, I swear. We were having a nice conversation and then he started kissing me and I just freaked out because it felt wrong."

Abby strokes my hair, "Liv, that's okay. You are allowed to not want to be with him. He will find someone else eventually but you need to stop thinking that it's your job to make everything okay when it's just making you miserable. You have to be happy Liv, that's what's most important for you."

I smile at her, "Thanks Abs. I don't want you to have to ring in the New Year up here with just me so go back to the party."

Abby laughs, "You know I would rather be up here with you. I will however go downstairs because it is almost midnight and your Dad will kill us if Caroline does anything stupid. I'm going to wait until midnight, get Caroline and put her to bed, and then I am all yours. I think there's a few people crashing overnight, definitely Sarah, so I'll have her make sure everyone is out by 2."

"Thanks Abby." I say, smiling at her.

She gets up off the bed and blows me a kiss as she walks out of the room.

I lean back in my bed and decide to watch some tv. I turn on Netflix and decide to watch Clueless. I suddenly feel my phone vibrate and it's a text from Jake. It says, "I'm sorry Liv. I hope we can talk soon."

I decide not to text him back and instead just go back to the movie. A little later my phone vibrates again and I realize it is past midnight. This time however, the text is from Fitz. It's a generic mass text wishing all his employees a happy New Year. It makes me smile even though I know everyone got it and just as I am about to put my phone on again I receive another message. It's from Fitz again but this time it's just for me. "Livvy, I hope you're having a wonderful night and I hope it's not too forward of me to say that meeting you five months ago was the highlight of my year. I'm sure you're ringing in the New Year with style and I look forward to seeing you on Monday. Fitz."

I can't help but giggle at his message. I respond to him, "Fitz, Working with you and getting to know you has been the highlight of my year as well. See you Monday."

Almost immediately he responds back, "Stop texting your lame boss and have fun. Goodnight Olivia Pope."

I shake my head and laugh to myself; I'll send him just one thing back. "Goodnight Fitzgerald Grant."


	10. Chapter 10

_"I never noticed the stars before. I always thought of them as great big diamonds that belonged to someone. Now they frighten me. They make me feel that it was all a dream, all my youth."_  
_'It was a dream,' said John quietly. 'Everybody's youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness.'_  
_'How pleasant then to be insane!'"_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Diamond As Big As The Ritz_

* * *

On Monday it's business as usual. Except that Fitz has been a little grouchy all morning and he hasn't gotten back to me about a few edits so I reluctantly pop my head into his office to ask him what he thinks.

"Hey, Fitz, um, I was wondering what you wanted me to do with the edits? You haven't gotten back to me." He's sitting at his desk and he's furiously going through a stack of papers.

I'm a little shocked when he snaps at me, "Just deal with them Olivia, you should know what to do with your edits by now."

I'm so surprised by his tone with me that I can't even respond. I freeze for a moment and then go back into my office. I know he's stressed, he's been stressed before but he's never snapped at me, that's new.

It's after lunch the next time I see him. He knocks quietly at my door. "Livvy, is it all right if I come in?"

I look up from my desk and stare at the door for a moment, "Um, yeah that's fine."

He looks less stressed now and he walks into my office, hands in his pockets, and sits down in one of the armchairs in front of my desk.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier, I was frustrated and I took it out on you and I shouldn't have. I apologize."

I smile at him and put my pen down and lean back in my chair. "It's okay, you don't need to apologize. You're my boss and you're allowed to get frustrated and snap every once in a while."

"I know, but I don't like snapping at you. I don't really like snapping at anyone really, but least of all you because you are so intelligent and capable and I'd hate to make you think for even one minute that you're doing anything less than a fantastic job."

I cover my hand with my mouth to hide the grin that's forming on my face and give myself a moment to compose myself. "Fitz, don't apologize, really. It's okay. Just give me a minute to delete these tweets about my horrible boss."

Fitz looks confused for a moment but then notices my grin and realizes I'm just messing with him.

"You're messing with me! Olivia Pope, I'm shocked!"

I laugh, "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

He shakes his head, "Well you might want to check your e-mail. I've sent you the schedule for Quasar Con. You should be very excited, you're getting it before every other fan!"

"Oh my gosh, that's so awesome!" I say as I jump on my computer and open my e-mail and start to scour over the schedule.

"So, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to drive down with me?" Fitz asks, "We all just drive down since it's only in Santa Barbara. Also I don't know if you have any friends who are going but I've never really experienced this thing apart from being in the background so I thought it might be fun to tag along with you to the booths and the panels and all that, if you don't mind that is?"

I can't contain my smile, "Um, yeah that would be fine. None of my friends are coming with me this year but I do have a group of friends I meet up with every year. They're my Helio Space One friends."

"Helio Space One?" Fitz asks, looking confused.

"Uh, yeah it's this sci-fi television show set thousands of years in the future about this group of agents who are sent into space to protect earth from these invaders and also to search for alternative means to preserving earth because it's been so destroyed by past inhabitants."

Fitz nods his head, "Hmm, sounds interesting."

I laugh, "You don't have to pretend, I know it's a niche genre. I just discovered it at a time when I really needed something to draw me in and plus I really like the lead actress. She's kind of amazing, she's totally kickass but at the same time manage to convey vulnerability. You've probably heard of her, Sophia Beckett? She's been in a bunch of movies the last few years."

"Oh yeah, I know who you're talking about. She's gorgeous."

I roll my eyes, "Nice."

He laughs, "Hey I'm a guy, what else do you expect? I do think she's a good actress though."

"Well _that's_ good. Are you sure you want the full Quasar Con experience? I mean, I'm a pretty huge nerd. I dress up and everything."

"Well, now you have me sold. I will literally be looking forward to seeing you in a crazy costume nonstop for the next few weeks."

"Well, get excited, it's a pretty awesome costume. Not too crazy though."

"I'll still be looking forward to it. Well, I should get back to work, thanks Livvy."

I smile at him as he gets up and walks back into his office, "Anytime Fitz."

It's a little less than two weeks later and I came to work expecting no one to know about my birthday, but of course that was too much to hope for. Harrison of course told everyone about it and I've been bombarded with cards and balloons and such all day and there were even cupcakes from my favorite bakery. I'm not really a birthday person but this has been nice, it's always nice to know that people care about you.

After the cake I head back to my office and almost immediately I hear a knock on my door. "Hey birthday girl." Fitz says as he pops his head in my door.

"Hey Fitz, come in." I say, waving him into my office.

I see that he has a card and a small wrapped package in his hand and my heart starts to beat faster.

"So how does twenty-six feel?" He asks, taking a seat across from me.

I shrug, "About the same as twenty-five."

He laughs, "So I know it's not protocol here but I got you a little present, you got me such a thoughtful gift that I wanted to get you something thoughtful as well."

"Fitz, you didn't have to get me anything. I didn't get you a gift expecting to get something back, I mean it was barely a gift it was just something I had and I thought you'd like."

He puts the package and the card on my desk and slides them toward me. "I know, and I loved it and I know you didn't expect anything back but I wanted to get you something."

I reach for the card and the package and pick up the card first. I look down and I see that Fitz has written my name on the front. Most guys have terrible writing but not Fitz, he has the loveliest writing without it looking like a girls writing. It's lovely but it's also masculine and the way he writes 'Livvy' is kind of beautiful. Like, I might just have to save this envelope and pin it on my bulletin board beautiful.

I open the envelope and pull the card out. It's a cute card with a little mouse, a birthday cake, and the words "Just for you" on the front and on the inside it reads "Make all your wishes come true. Happy Birthday."

"Thanks Fitz, it's adorable."

He looks relieved, "That's good. I'm terrible at picking out cards."

I then set the card on my desk and pick up the present. It's a wide package but it's fairly thin and it's wrapped in this gorgeous chevron paper that's white and Tiffany blue.

I open up the package to find an 8 x 10 picture frame. I turn over the frame and I can't help but gasp. Inside the frame is a hand painted picture of a starry sky and over the sky in whites, pale pinks, and light blues is a quote that reads, "You are so busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are." The quote is from one of my favorite books, The Fault In Our Stars, and I'm shocked Fitz even knew I liked the book.

"How…how did you know I love this book?" I ask quietly.

Fitz flashes me a shy smile and looks down at the floor, "I overheard you talking to Lauren about how much you love it a few weeks ago. I found this and I thought you'd like it, plus the quote just seemed like something that suited you."

I'm grinning like a maniac, "Fitz I…I don't know what to say. This is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so much."

I get up out of my chair and walk around him to give him a hug.

He obviously knows what I'm doing and he gets up too. I fold my arms around his neck and pull myself into him. His arms wrap around my middle and our bodies are pressed against each other. I'm enjoying his wonderful smell and he seems to be doing the same because his head is practically buried in my hair.

After a moment we both pull back, "Thank you Fitz, truly. This is beautiful."

He smiles and walks toward the door to his office, "I'm glad you like it, Happy Birthday Livvy." And with that he disappears into his office.

I sit down in my chair and I sink back, grabbing the picture so I can take a closer look at it. I decide to take it out of the frame so that I can really see it.

I pop the picture out of the frame and I notice that it's on a small piece of canvas. I wonder where Fitz got it. Etsy maybe? It's really beautiful. That's when I notice the tiniest set of initials in the bottom right corner. I couldn't see them before because they were hidden by the edge of the frame and even though they're tiny I can definitely tell that they read "FG". Fitzgerald Grant. Did Fitz actually make this for me?

My mouth is agape and I can't seem to shut it. I can't seem to breathe either. Did Fitz actually make this for me? That would mean he had to have either looked up quotes from The Fault In Our Stars or actually read the book and then taken the time to paint this for me. I start to giggle like a schoolgirl when I think about that, Fitz may have actually painted me something. That just sounds ridiculous! He's a gorgeous forty-three year old man, he's extremely interesting and has a lot on his plate, there's no way he could have taken the time to sit down and make this for me. But even as I think it, I know that's not true. These are his initials; he definitely painted this for me. Could Fitz actually like me too?

Later that night Lauren, Savannah, and Quinn are all over at Abby and my apartment because Abby has made a birthday dinner. She actually did a really good job with everything and I am completely stuffed. I leaned the frame against the mantle in the den and Lauren sees it when we make our way in there after dinner.

"Oh, Fitz gave it to you! Do you like it?" She asks.

I give her a confused look, "How did you know that was from Fitz."

She laughs as she takes a seat on the sofa. "He came into my office last week and showed it to me. He wanted to know if I thought you would like it. I told him that was your favorite book and you would absolutely love it. He was pretty nervous about it. He was also freaking out because he couldn't wrap it so I did it for him. It was kind of adorable."

Quinn is in the bathroom and Savannah and Abby are still in the kitchen getting another round of drinks but Lauren still lowers her voice, "Liv, is something going on between you two?"

I'm sure I look nervous because my palms have started to sweat, "What? No! He's…I mean…Fitz is very….he's very good looking but that would be inappropriate. Plus he's not interested in me. He was just being nice."

Lauren's eyes are now wide with doubt, "Liv, I believe you when you say nothing is going on with you two but a man doesn't spend that much time on a present for his assistant when she's_ just_ his assistant. I mean, he painted that thing himself!"

"How did you know that?"

Lauren rolls her eyes, "He has an art degree, painting and photography are kind of his hobbies. It wasn't that hard to deduce."

I stop pacing and sit down next to her. "I don't know what to do. Lauren, you can't tell anyone this but…I think I like him. I have been trying to convince myself it's just a crush for months but I don't think it's just that. I might actually like him."

Lauren smiles, "I promise, I won't tell anyone about this, you can trust me Liv. And I know it may not be the best advice to give you, considering the circumstances, but I think he likes you too and I think that if you really, truly like him then maybe you should just go for it? The worst he can do is say no and if he does you can forget about it and move on."

"Lauren, he's almost eighteen years older than me, that's a big age difference."

Lauren laughs, "Age? That's what you're worried about? Liv, that's ridiculous! Age is just a number. And remember, guys mature way slower than girls. Plus you're incredibly mature. You guys are probably same inner age anyway."

Just then Quinn comes out of the bathroom and Abby and Savannah come back into the room.

"Thank you." I mouth to Lauren over the chatter.

She grins at me and mouths back, "Any time."

Maybe I should make a move with Fitz. Lauren is right, it may not be the best idea I've ever had but even if it turns out terribly it's a mistake I should make. I like Fitz, I really like him and I owe it to myself to find out if he likes me back enough to give it a go.


	11. Chapter 11

_"You know, you're a little complicated after all."_  
_"Oh no," she assured him hastily. "No, I'm not really – I'm just a – I'm just a whole lot of different simple people."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

Fitz and I are cruising down the PCH on our way to Santa Barbara in his sleek Mercedes SL63. It would be nice to have the convertible top down but it's a windy day and that would probably make it unbearable. Fitz, the gentleman that he is, offered to let me pick the music so my ipod has been plugged into the stereo since he picked me up this morning.

He's been making fun of me the whole trip for the compilation of music that's playing. He expected new music and could not stop laughing when the first song I chose was a Paul McCartney song. This playlist is full of Paul McCartney, The Beatles, The Kinks, Peter Gabriel, Prince, Television, Talking Heads, and other older stuff.

Fitz looks over at me, shocked when a Dead Boys song pops up in the rotation. "Are you serious? You're a Dead Boys fan?"

I give him a teasing smile, "Why is that so shocking?"

Fitz shrugs his shoulders, "Honestly because I don't know anyone under the age of forty who even knows who the Dead Boys are."

I laugh, "Truthfully, I'm kind of shocked that _you_ know who the Dead Boys are!"

"Ouch!" Fitz feigns offense. "I don't look like the kind of guy who enjoys punk rock?"

I can't stop laughing as I shake my head.

"I'll have you know Ms. Pope that I have actually been to CBGB."

My eyes grow wide and my mouth drops open, "Are you serious?"

He nods his head, "Before I graduated high school my Dad took me to New York and he knew how badly I wanted to go, even though I wasn't old enough, and so he pulled some strings and got me in."

I am still in total shock, and completely jealous. "So who did you see?"

He's grinning now and I get the feeling that I'm going to be even more jealous when he answers.

"I saw Lou Reed, Debbie Harry, and Dee Dee Ramone."

I fall back in my chair and cover my face with my hands, "Oh my god. I'm so jealous of your right now! Why couldn't I have been born twenty years earlier?"

Fitz is still laughing at me when I finally sit up straight in my chair.

"So, how did a young Fitzgerald Grant become interested in punk rock?"

Fitz shrugs, "It was cool back then, everyone liked punk. Even my Dad actually enjoyed some of it. What I want to know is how did a young Olivia Pope become interested in punk rock?"

I laugh, "Rebellious youth I guess? I don't know, I enjoyed growing up on military bases but at the same time I felt a little confined, especially in Okinawa, and when I was twelve I found a Patti Smith record in a box of my Mom's old stuff and it just kind of became an obsession. Every time we went back to the states I'd go to this old record store and I would just buy anything from the '60's, '70's, and '80's. It just felt like a way to express myself."

"So you're an aspiring journalist with a love for science fiction, comic books, old school rock n' roll and new wave punk. Olivia Pope…you are a constant surprise."

I smile to myself and think about what he said to me at the book launch party before Christmas about how he wanted a girl who continued to surprise him. Maybe Lauren is right; maybe he is interested in me.

At around 10 am we arrive at the convention center. The convention doesn't actually open until 12 but Fitz has promised me a tour before it opens and I am unbelievably excited. I also need to put my costume on.

We park in a VIP parking lot and we walk in the building, thankfully there is a bathroom just as we walk in so I tell Fitz I'll be right back.

I open my bag and pull out my costume. I always dress up as Lt. Rory Roberts. She's the main character on Helio Space One and she's my idol. She wears outrageously tall, knee high platform boots, black leggings with light blue stripes down the sides, a simple black tank top, and a black jacket with light blue shoulders, the Helio Space One symbol on the lapel, and her insignia on her shoulders.

When I woke up this morning I already braided the front of my hair into a small French braid at the front and now I pull it all back into a ponytail so I can look just like Lt. Rory.

I walk out of the bathroom and Fitz is still waiting for me. "Oh my god, you look amazing. I need to take a picture of you."

He pulls out his phone and I give him a small smile as he snaps a picture of me.

"God, you look just like her. Your costume is perfect."

I furrow my brow, shooting him a confused look, "How do you know that? Oh my god, did you watch it?"

Fitz blushes a little bit; I think he's embarrassed! "I may have watched a few episodes."

"Oh my god, Fitz. You're so cute."

He gives me an odd look and now my face is burning up because that just slipped out and I should not have said it.

Thankfully he doesn't comment and we just walk into the convention area. We walk through the doors and there's a man waiting on the other side that I recognize, it's that guy Cyrus I met at the gallery a few months ago.

"Cyrus. Great to see you!" Fitz says as he gives Cyrus a hug.

"Cy, you remember my assistant Olivia Pope?"

Cyrus looks at me, "Of course I do, Olivia it's an absolute pleasure to see you again." He says with a grin as he shakes my hand.

"Cyrus is kind of like you, this is his secret obsession."

Cyrus laughs, "Guilty as charged. Olivia, Fitz sent me that link to your portfolio site and I have to say, it's absolutely fantastic. Your writing is beautiful. You are at the top of my list, as soon as I have an opening on my staff I am going to steal you away from this guy."

I'm a little surprised, "I'm sorry, an opening on your staff, what do you do?"

Cyrus looks over at Fitz, "You didn't tell her?"

Fitz shakes his head, "Not yet, I was going to wait until you were sure you were going to have an opening."

Now I'm just completely confused, what the heck are these two talking about?

Cyrus turns back to me, "I am the editor-in-chief for the Pacific Times."

Suddenly I can't breathe. The Pacific Times is the biggest paper on the West Coast. Getting a job there would be a minor miracle. I didn't even apply for a job there when I sent out all my post-graduate school resumes because I wanted to wait until I had a couple years of experience so they wouldn't laugh at me and just toss my resume in the garbage.

Cyrus and Fitz are now both laughing at me.

I'm sure I look ridiculous, my brain is running all over the place and my mouth is hanging open like a dog while I try to form a coherent sentence.

I finally manage to get my brain back on track, "Oh my gosh, wow…just wow! I'm so honored that you like my work, truly its just such a pleasure to even know you took the time to read it."

Cyrus reaches into his pocket and hands me a business card. "I don't get openings often but when I do I'll give you a call. In the meantime occasionally we take pieces from independent writers so if you ever write a good opinion piece or something on a hot subject give me a call and I'd love to use it in the paper."

"Thank you so much, really this is just, this is incredible."

"You should thank Fitz, without him I don't know if I would have gotten the opportunity to see your work."

I look over at Fitz and notice that he's got a shy smile on his face as if he didn't know how I would react to this encounter.

"Fitz, thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve this so thank you, truly."

Fitz reaches out and squeezes my shoulder, "As great of an assistant as you are, I can't be selfish and keep you forever."

I look up into his eyes; I'd like to respond, 'Well, you could if you wanted to.' But I can't say that.

Cyrus claps his hands together bringing me out of my daze, "Okay, lets get this tour started!"

"If you don't mind me asking," I say to Cyrus, "How did you get involved in Quasar Con?"

Cyrus laughs, "I used to volunteer here when I was younger and I got lucky and met the right people. I love working at the Pacific Times but this is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine."

"That is so cool." I say, looking around at all the booths.

"Well, when I give you a job remind me that you're a nerd too and I'll try to give you the event coverage. I like it when I see someone else who actually enjoys this stuff, sometimes I have to make the writers do the coverage. I never understood people who didn't like comics."

I laugh, "I totally agree with you."

Cyrus gives us an amazing tour of the facility and soon enough, Quasar Con is underway. I drag Fitz around with me to a few booths and a few panels and he actually seems like he's having a good time. I keep asking him if there's anything he wants to see but he keeps replying that he'll enjoy anything I enjoy.

Fitz is kind of a charmer; I'd realized it before but never so much as now. I mean, it takes a lot of patience to attend one of these things if it's not exactly the kind of place you'd go to on your own but Fitz is being so kind and really seems to be putting an effort into not just following me around but actually acting interested in what is going on.

Guys don't do this unless they like you, right? I mean sure if they enjoy comic books and science fiction they would. I sigh as I think about Huck, he was the only friend I ever had who actually wanted to come to these with me and enjoyed it as much as I did. Jake came once with me when we were seniors in college but he didn't enjoy it and he didn't even make an effort to act like he enjoyed it. Instead he kept looking at his watch the whole time and made me enjoy it less because of his bad attitude. That was the first and last Quasar Con I will ever take him to, for more reasons than just the way he acted.

The first day ends much too quickly and we go back to the hotel and check in for the weekend. Fitz walks me to my room; his is across the hall and only three doors down from mine.

We say goodnight and as he turns to leave I grab for his hand. "Fitz, wait."

He stops and turns around, "Thank you again for what you did for me, with Cyrus. I just, I can't even find the words to express how truly grateful I am that you would do that for me."

Fitz squeezes my hand, "It's your work, you earned it with your talent. I'm just the messenger, no thanks needed Livvy, you are incredibly talented and you deserve a shot to do what makes you happiest."

I don't even know what to say, all I want to do right now is kiss him even though I know I shouldn't. I can't. It would be so inappropriate.

Thankfully he lets go of my hand and walks toward his room, looking back once to give me a small smile and say, "Goodnight Livvy."

"Goodnight Fitz." I whisper back and I walk into my room.

The next morning I wake up earlier than necessary because I am so incredibly excited. Today is the Helio Space One panel and I'm meeting up with a few of my friends beforehand.

I'm ready, dressed in my Lt. Rory costume, and at Fitz's door about ten minutes early but I knock anyway.

Fitz answers the door and he looks almost ready except for his hair, it's still disheveled and honestly it looks really sexy. I have to grab ahold of the door to steady myself on these silly platform boots.

"Good morning Livvy." He says with a smile. "Come on in, I just need to brush my hair and then we can head out."

"Thanks Fitz, sorry I'm early I'm just really excited."

He laughs, "I bet, Helio Space One panel afterward."

I nod my head and try hard to stay cool but it's getting hard to contain my excitement.

When Fitz is finished we grab a quick to-go breakfast from the hotel and head over to the convention center. Our morning is spent walking around and checking out more booths and we go to a Q &amp; A on a new movie that's coming out.

Later in the afternoon I meet up with my friends and Fitz heads off to go figure something out with Cyrus. It's nice to see all my Quasar Con friends again and we catch up before the panel. Fitz finds me right before it begins and we sit through the panel together.

After it's over I start to get up and Fitz grabs my arm. "Just wait here for a little bit. Trust me."

I look over at him, slightly confused, but I do trust him so I sit back down. I say goodbye to all my friends and we promise to meet up again tomorrow and soon enough the auditorium is empty and a man walks out from behind the stage area and walks over to us.

"Fitz Grant?" He asks and Fitz nods his head and flashes his ID badge.

"Okay, come with me."

I am one hundred percent confused but I follow Fitz and this man as he takes us behind the stage.

I could cry when I walk through the door and I see Sophia Beckett and the cast of Helio Space One standing around chatting with each other.

Sophia Beckett is the first one to notice us and she walks over to us with a huge grin on her face, "You must be Olivia? It's so nice to meet you." And she doesn't go in for a handshake; she goes right for a hug. Sophia Beckett is hugging me and I'm trying really hard to be cool and not freak out.

She pulls back and looks me up and down, "Your costume is amazing, guys come here, is her costume not amazing?"

The rest of the cast has been shaking Fitz's hand while Sophia has been hugging me and they all look me up and down.

Javier Vega, Lt. Tony Cruz himself, is the first to comment, "Yeah, wow that's amazing, did you make that."

I open my mouth and pray that words come out, "Um, yeah I just got a regular black jacket and regular leggings and I added the blue and the insignia myself."

"Damn, that's awesome." Javier says and raises his hand to high five me.

On the inside I'm giggling like a lunatic, Lt. Tony just high-fived me, I could die I'm so happy!

Sophia shakes Fitz's hand and introduces herself before focusing her attention back on me. "So Cyrus Beene tells me you're like our biggest fan?"

I can feel my cheeks getting hot, "Yeah, I've been a fan since your show started."

Sophia hooks her arm around my elbow, "Tell me everything." She says.

We start to walk to the other side of the room and I do tell her everything, I tell her about growing up on military bases and about going to college and I tell her about Huck and how I found the show.

"Wow, Olivia, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that our show helped you through so much. Truly, that's one of the reasons why I do this. I wasn't even looking to do a television show when this script came to me but I read it and I just fell in love with Lt. Rory and I loved how the show portrayed this strong African-American woman, it truly is a blessing every time someone comes to me and tells me how this show helped them through a tough time or made them realize they didn't have to sacrifice their emotions in order to be a strong woman."

I give her another hug. "Thank you so much, I will truly treasure this for the rest of my life."

"It was wonderful to meet you Olivia."

I chat with the rest of the cast for a while and Fitz offers to take pictures of me with everyone. Then we say our goodbyes and we walk out of the convention center.

The minute we leave the auditorium I throw myself at Fitz, my arms encircling his neck and I can't help the happy tears running down my face.

I can feel him smiling in the crook of my neck and his arms feel warm and comforting against my torso but he doesn't say anything. After a few moments I reluctantly pull away.

"I can't believe you did that for me." I say, I can't help but stare into his beautiful blue eyes, the tears still running down my own face.

"It was nothing, I was happy to do it."

I shake my head, "It wasn't nothing. It meant the world to me. I don't think anyone has ever done anything like that for me. I am forever in your debt Fitz."

I turn away to start walking and he grabs my hand, "You are not in my debt at all, I did all this because I think you deserve it. I think you deserve everything."

I'm biting my tongue because I'd really just like to kiss his lips right now.

He tugs at my hand, "Come on Livvy, we've got a few more things to see before we call it a night."

And with that he starts walking and I can't help myself but grin as I catch up to him, I think he likes me and I think Lauren is right, I should just go for it.


	12. Chapter 12

_"Mother says"—she hesitated uncertainly—"mother says that two souls are sometimes created together and—and in love before they're born."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned_

* * *

I can't believe tomorrow is the last day of Quasar-Con. This has been the best experience I've ever had here. I've met the entire cast of Helio Space One several times before but never like this, I've gotten their autographs at previous Quasar-Con's and been able to say a couple words to them, but I've never gotten to actually have a conversation with any of them before or get a personal picture with them. Fitz might officially be my favorite person on the planet. I've been skipping around for the last couple hours; absolutely nothing can ruin my day and Fitz has been laughing at me all night since we got to talk with the cast. Now it's 10 PM and we are done for the day yet I still have loads of energy. We walk out one of the back doors of the convention center where Fitz's car is parked, his own private parking spot in an area restricted to only those who are a part of Quasar-Con or the workers from Grant Global Communications. He unlocks the doors of the little silver Benz and I hop into the passenger seat and sink back into it. He gets into the driver's seat, starts the car, and we head out onto the road back to the hotel. I am still giddy; honestly I don't really see an end to how happy I am. I wish the convertible top were down so I can scream my happiness into the salty sea air surrounding the convention center. The ride back to the hotel is silent, I am still processing my epic day and Fitz is smiling to himself as he focuses on the road. We arrive at the hotel and get out of the car, he hands his keys to the valet and we are left alone again at the hotel entrance. He looks at his watch, "I know it's late but we never had dinner and I'm starving, any chance you would like to join me?" He asks, looking straight at me. I'm still wearing my Lt. Rory costume and the platform boots make me practically eye level with him.

"Oh my gosh I totally forgot about food!" I say, dinner completely escaped my mind tonight and now that he's reminded me I suddenly feel a pain in my stomach and hear it growling furiously at me.

Fitz laughs at me and points to the right, "The hotel bar has pretty good food, is that okay?"

I nod my head in agreement, "Definitely, all of a sudden I'm starving!" I exclaim as we start walking to the right of the hotel through the restaurant's separate entrance. We make our way to the bar area, it's dimly lit with candles and almost no overhead lighting, giving it a romantic feel. The bartender sees us and tells us to sit anywhere and he'll be right over to get our drinks. There are only a few people in the bar, I'm glad I chose to stay here with Fitz and the rest of the GGC people instead of at the hotel right by the convention center, it's a nice hotel but it's completely filled with people attending Quasar-Con and can get a little crazy. I'm 26 now and it feels good to act like an adult every once in a while. Plus I like that this hotel is on the ocean, San Jose is the farthest I've ever lived from the ocean even though it's only 30-40 minutes away depending on the traffic. Berkeley was technically farther but since the bay was right there, I don't count it. It's nice to be able to go to sleep and smell the salty ocean air; it's comforting, like I'm back at home when I was a little girl.

Fitz picks a circular booth in the corner and we slide into the booth, making ourselves comfortable. After walking around for a good part of the day, it sure feels great to sit down on a comfortable leather seat instead of the plastic ones they have at the panels. The bartender comes over a moment later, takes our drink orders and hands us a menu. He pauses for a moment to look at me, which makes me slightly nervous, is there something on my face or is my hair all wacky?

"Were you guys at Quasar-Con?" He asks.

Fitz and I look at each other and laugh; it slipped my mind that I still have on my Lt. Rory costume.

"Yeah, we just got done for the day." I respond.

"Cool." The waiter responds and turns around to get our drinks.

"That's what I like about you." Fitz says to me.

I turn to look at him, his head is resting against the back of the booth, and he looks tired from the day's activities.

I give him a confused smile, "What exactly do you like about me?"

"How you're completely you, all of the time, you're never embarrassed to be yourself. That's pretty impressive. I mean, you look great in that costume, but most people would want to change out of it before leaving Quasar-Con, not you though." He's smiling at me with his beautiful smile, and it takes everything I have to not drool at how handsome he looks.

Before I can respond, the waiter returns, "scotch on the rocks for you, sir." He says as he sets down Fitz's drink in front of him, "and a scotch and soda for the lady. A double on the house, for Lt. Rory." He says, winking at me as he turns to walk away.

I'm shocked for a minute but manage to call out a thank you to him before he reaches the bar. Fitz is laughing as he picks up his drink to toast. I join him and hold mine up as well, "To Lt. Rory and her number one fan, Olivia Pope." I smile and add, "To Fitzgerald Grant, the greatest boss in history." He grins as I add that and we clink glasses, still smiling at each other.

"You know, he doesn't know we're not together." Fitz says, his eyes glimmering as he stares at me.

I shoot him a teasing smile and reply, "You're right, he doesn't."

We both go back to reading our menu's in silence until the bartender returns and takes our orders.

"So what really drew you to Helio Space One?" Fitz asks me.

I try to brush off the question with a simple answer, "Because Sofia Beckett was the first African American leading lady on a television show in almost twenty years." I say, laughing. I'm partially serious about this answer, but it's also my brush-off answer.

Fitz smiles at me but I don't think he bought it completely.

"Yeah," Fitz starts as the bartender walks away, "But what's the real reason you love this show so much?"

I bite my lip in apprehension; there are only three people outside my immediate family who know the real reason why I love this show so much.

Fitz senses my apprehension; "It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

I give him a small smile; it's a strange feeling knowing he can read me so well, "How did you figure it out?" I ask, avoiding his question for the moment.

"I overheard you talking to Sofia Beckett, you told her that Lt. Rory saved your life. Plus, you were just so incredibly jubilant to get to interact with the cast today; it's pretty obvious to anyone who saw you today that Helio Space One had a profound impact on your life." He's looking at me so intently as he talks that I feel like he's peering into my soul.

I purse my lips as I consider what to tell him. "Did you hear me say anything else to her?" I ask nervously.

"No." He answers adamantly; I can tell he's being honest with me. "I walked away and started talking to another cast member. I didn't feel like I had the right to listen to what you were telling her."

I smile brightly at him; I can feel my eyes fill a little bit with tears. I'm so taken aback that he cared enough to not want to intrude on my private moment with Sofia Beckett.

I take a deep breath; I now know that I want him to know why I love Helio Space One and Lt. Rory so much.

"The show came out during my junior year in college. My best friend in high school, Huck, we were closer than close. He was the first person was nice to me when I transferred in halfway through sophomore year from Okinawa. After high school I went off to Pepperdine and he joined the Marine Corps. His Dad was a Marine too and he had always wanted to join the corps. He had completed his first tour in Afghanistan and it had gone well, so well that he put in immediately for a second tour."

I pause and take a deep breath before I can continue, "When he was only a month into his second tour, this time Iraq, he was killed in action. He got caught in the crossfire of an IED and they couldn't save him. I was…I was lost. I spent the entire summer before junior year being miserable. I was terrible to be around; I just didn't know how to move on without him. I started out the fall semester on a sour note, I just hated the world and I couldn't see past this tragedy. It just didn't seem fair and I was so angry with everyone."

I close my eyes, attempting to find the courage to continue because I'm a little afraid the next part is going to make him see me differently, and not in a good way. "I would drink excessively and I did a bunch of drugs I shouldn't have. And when I wasn't out partying I would cut myself with razors just to feel anything. I ended up accidentally slitting my wrist with a broken bottle one night. Luckily I wasn't alone and my roommate rushed me to the hospital but it was a bad situation. My parents made me go to this 'therapy' center before spring semester because I was going to study abroad. I actually almost didn't study abroad because of Huck's death."

Finally I can feel my lips curl up and a smile appears on my face. "But then during therapy I accidentally tuned into a new show called Helio Space One. After just the first episode I realized I'd never related to anyone as much as I did to Lt. Rory. She was just so fearless and even though bad things happened to her and kept happening to her, she never stopped fighting. So every morning I would wake up and I would tell myself that I was going to take on the world like Lt. Rory did, I wasn't going to let this tragedy control my life, I wasn't going to let it consume me and not just ruin my life, but the lives of the people close to me as well because I knew Huck wouldn't want that, he would want me to be happy. Lt. Rory and Helio Space One saved me, it made me remember why life was worth living. That's why I love that show so much. That's why I'll never be embarrassed to wear my Lt. Rory costume in public. That show is one of the reasons I became the person I am today."

Somehow over the course of my story we've managed to slide closer together, our knees are touching under the table and our faces are less than a foot apart. Fitz looks sad, like my little story actually matters to him. We don't speak for a while; we just continue staring at each other. He grabs my hands, holding them in his large ones, rubbing them with his thumbs.

Our moment is interrupted by the bartender bringing our food to the table, he sets the food in front of us and the slight noise startles me a little and I jump but Fitz doesn't let go of my hands, they are still held tight between his larger ones. He doesn't break eye contact with me but moves to place my hands in my lap and before he lets go of them he says, "I'm sorry about Huck."

I give him a small grateful smile and we both turn to our food but remain in close proximity to each other. We eat in relative silence, making small talk about our day and Quasar-Con. We also each down two more drinks apiece so by the end of dinner I am definitely buzzed and I'm pretty sure Fitz is too. It's 11:30 PM but I'm not really tired and Fitz isn't indicating that he's ready to turn in either. We settle the bill and walk back into the main hotel, I've taken off my boots because I am definitely too buzzed to walk in six inch platform heels. We're stumbling and laughing our way to the elevator when we walk past the giant glass doors leading to the pool area and the beach.

"Oh, lets go to the beach!" I squeal, taking off through the doors and running through the pool area and down the boardwalk to the beach. I can hear Fitz behind me yelling at me to wait for him but I don't stop until I hit the sand. I drop my boots and my satchel on the sand and pull off my Lt. Rory jacket and throw it on top of them. It's a little chilly out but the alcohol coursing through my veins is keeping me warm. Fitz finally catches up to me and follows suit by taking off his shoes and tossing them next to my things.

"I love the ocean at night. It's so peaceful." I say as I start to walk closer to the water.

I stop before I hit the water and slide my skintight pants up to my knees so they won't get wet. My feet touch the icy water of the Pacific Ocean and I can feel a chill run through my bones, but I don't really care. I've just had the best day of my life and I'm ending that day on a beautiful beach with the most incredible person I've ever met standing next to me. I look over at Fitz, he's not looking out at the ocean. Instead he's looking over at me and smiling. The wind is blowing around his curly hair and I can just imagine him lifting his arms up to the sky and taking off, Superman style.

"You're absolutely gorgeous." He says, grinning madly at me.

"You know, Mr. Grant that's kind of an inappropriate thing to say to your employee."

"It definitely is, Ms. Pope, but I can't really think about anything else."

I am now grinning at him and we're both just staring at each other.

Fitz yawns, "Liv, I think we should probably head in. We've got another big day ahead of us tomorrow."

I pout even though I know he's right.

"Come on." He says, extending his hand out to grab my own.

I reach forward and grab his hand, our fingers intertwine and I feel a jolt of electricity run through me.

I can't waste another moment of my life not having him.

We walk back into the hotel and when we reach my room I stop at the door, hesitating before I put the key in. I bring the key up to the lock but I can't bring myself to unlock the door. Instead I turn around and lean against the door. Apparently the combination of the alcohol and my Lt. Rory costume have made me brave because the next thing I know I'm saying, "I don't want to go to bed." I look up at Fitz who is now his normal ten inches taller than me because I took my boots off.

He looks down at me and takes a step closer; he reaches a hand up and plays with the end of my long brown ponytail. He leans in and whispers in my ear, "Please just go into your room and go to bed, I won't be able to say no to you."

I can smell the faint scent of his cologne when he's so close to me, I don't want to go to bed. I _need_ him.

I turn my head and stand on my tippy toes, pressing my palms against his shoulders and angling my head upward so that our lips are only about an inch away and our noses are almost touching. "Then don't." I tell him, deciding to be bold and running my hands through his silky hair. How I have longed to touch this hair for the past six months. It's better than I've ever imagined.

He sinks into me a little bit and bends his head upward slightly, his lips lightly touching my forehead before he breaks the contact and steps slightly backward. I reluctantly let go of his hair and let him stand about a foot away from me.

"You have no idea how much I want to do this, but I'm your boss, this isn't appropriate. Also, I'm almost eighteen years older than you; I'd be a cradle robbing pervert if we did this."

I laugh and take a step closer to him, "Then let's be inappropriate, I want you to be a cradle robbing perv."

He laughs but makes no move to step further backward.

I tilt my head up so I'm looking into his eyes, they're blue like the water of the Aegean Sea and I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful. I straighten my posture and I give him the most serious face I'm capable of.

"I'm twenty-six years old, I'm an adult and I can make my own choices. You're not taking advantage of me and you're not forcing me to do anything I don't want to do. I want this. I want you."

With that, his lips are on me and he's pressing me into the door, I stand on my tip toes so he doesn't have to bend over as much to reach my lips and he grabs my thighs and pulls them up so I've circled my legs around his waist. My hips are digging into his and I can feel his erection straining his pants and pressing into the delicate place between my legs. His hands move to the bottom of my tank top and slip under it and over my back. I moan in pleasure as his lips make their way down my jaw line and down my neck. His lips are perfect; they know exactly what to do to drive me crazy, I feel more alive right now than I have in the past six years.

His lips make their way to my collarbone and the feel of the slight scruff present on his face combined with his hot and wet kisses are making me grip him even tighter with my legs.

"We should go in." I say, reluctantly and breathlessly, pulling my arm from behind his back and putting the key card between us. He grabs it and without missing a beat, opens the door and pushes us inside. I'm still positioned around his waist and after he kicks the door shut he moves us quickly to the bed and lays us both down so that his body is hovering over mine.

His eyes are wide open as his lips break contact with my skin for a moment; I can see the desire in his eyes. He sits upright, between my knees, which are still clinging to his sides, and he starts to unbutton his oxford shirt. I don't think I've ever seen him wear anything but an oxford and he pulls off the look so well. He slides the shirt off his shoulders and he's left wearing an undershirt which he pulls off just as quickly. He bends back over me and starts to kiss down my chest. His mouth feels so good on my skin; he reaches the top of my tank top and looks up to me, asking permission to remove it. "Is this okay?"

I look down to him and nod. I've never actually had a guy ask permission to remove my clothing, they usually just go for it, unless it's Jake and then I'm usually just undressing myself. Fitz pulls my tank top off in one fluid motion. I'm really happy I've worn a bra that accentuates my average breasts. He goes right to work on the valley between my breasts, with every nip and every kiss I can feel the desire building up deep inside me. I reach back for the hook on my bra and release it for him, shaking it off my arms so he has better access. He takes both of my breasts in his large hands and just that action alone feels incredible. His mouth captures one of my nipples and his hand plays with the other, my hips are rising and falling to meet his, the growing erection in his pants is driving me mad. I want him so badly right now. My hands venture south to the buckle on his pants, why the hell do men always wear belts? I have the hardest time getting them undone. After a minute of me trying and failing to undo his belt buckle, Fitz lifts his head off my chest and goes back to my lips, I can hear him chuckling as he kisses me.

"Having problems?" He asks.

"Why the hell do men have to wear belts?" I ask, scowling at him while my hands are still trying and failing to get the belt undone. He laughs at me again and grabs my hands with his own, pulling them up to my chest and then grabbing both my wrists in one hand to hold them in place while using the other hand to unbuckle his belt in one quick motion. It takes him only a second more to unbutton the top button and unzip his zipper, a feat that would have undoubtedly taken me several minutes to accomplish.

He lets go of my hands and resumes kissing me, these kisses aren't like the hot and fast ones we first shared, these are deep and passionate and every time he kisses me I feel like I'm going to melt into him. I slide my hands down to push his pants off of him, my hands run over his ass and god, it's a fantastic ass. I slide his jeans down to about his knees but I can't reach any further. He sits up and removes his pants himself, throwing them on the ground. I lift my hips up off the bed, indicating to him that I want him to remove mine as well. He grasps my pants on both sides of my body and pulls them down my body and throws them somewhere on the floor. He climbs back up to the bed and positions himself between my legs, he leans forward and I grasp at his boxer briefs, in this moment he stops to look at me.

"Olivia, are you sure you want to do this?" He asks me, complete seriousness on his face.

I sit up dramatically, "Do you think I'm a virgin?" I ask, bluntly.

He kind of looks shocked at this question, "I…I…honestly I'm not sure. I've tried so hard not to think of you in this way, I mean I…"

I start to laugh as he stutters his way through his thought; I've honestly never see him nervous before. "I'm not a virgin, not even close, I've had a lot of sex."

He looks at me with a baffled stare, "That makes me feel a lot better." He deadpans.

I lean forward and pull him closer to me, letting my hands fall to the elastic of his boxer briefs and placing my mouth to his ear, "I have never wanted anyone this much in my entire life." Turns out that was all he needed to continue. He grabs my knees and flips me so my back is yet again on the bed, he quickly pulls his boxer briefs off and he leans forward so that his mouth is right in between my legs. I can feel his hot breath against me and I can feel myself get more wet by the second. He kisses me through my panties and I let out a scream and grasp the sheets underneath me in my hands. He finally finishes the assault on my underwear and rips them off in one quick motion, his mouth quickly taking their place. I let out a scream again as his mouth begins to make me feel pleasure like I've never felt before. I'm moaning and panting and I don't even care enough to try to conceal the noises I'm making because his mouth just feels so damn good. He hits that spot with his mouth and I can feel my first orgasm shudder through me as I scream out his name. He pulls himself up my body and kisses my mouth again, our bodies are pushed together in all our glorious nakedness and I can feel his considerable erection pressed firmly against me. I reach my hand down to find him and take him in my hand; he's pretty big, definitely bigger than any of the guys I've previously been with. He reaches his hand down to grasp mine and holds it steady for a moment, "Livvy, I'm so sorry I'm interrupting this again but I have to ask before we start and we can't go back, but, I don't have a condom and I don't know if you're on birth control and even if you are you might still want me to wear a condom but…unless you have one we're out of luck."

I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm my over stimulated body, "I'm on birth control."

Fitz lets out a huge sigh of relief, "So you're still okay with no condom? I can always…pull out?"

"Yeah, yes. I mean yes to no condom but no to pulling out, it's fine Fitz. Don't worry about it. I'm safe." I'm so ready for him to be inside me that I'm practically begging him.

He grins at me and then bends down to kiss me while finding my opening; he lightly presses his tip into me and breaks his kiss, looking deep into my eyes as if silently asking for permission to continue. He thrusts into me swiftly and I can feel my body stretching to accommodate him. He feels so good inside me, he thrusts into me, pushing my knees back in order to push further into me. I have never felt this much pleasure in my entire life, we're completely in sync, he thrusts and I meet him, our bodies finding a perfect rhythm. I reach my climax and scream his name into his shoulder, biting it to muffle the sound. I can feel the waves of pleasure coursing through my body and I can tell by the sound of his grunting that he is close too so I decide to take control. I sit up and grab his shoulders, pushing him down so he is now the one laying on the bed and I am on top of him. I settle myself onto his member and I begin to thrust, slamming my pelvis into his, he grabs my hips and meets my thrusts beat for beat. He is so close, I can tell. He sits upright so I am in his lap, his lips are on mine and our bodies are tangled together. He screams my name as he releases into me and we collapse onto the bed together, still intertwined, our arms and legs grasping for a piece of each other, and I fall asleep, more satisfied than I've ever been.


	13. Chapter 13

_"They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise_

* * *

I wake up abruptly and see the clock flash in my peripheral vision. It's only 6:30 AM, I groan, we hadn't planned on getting to Quasar Con until 11:00 AM today. I try to move so I can get up and pee when I realize that I am with another person. Fitz's head is in my neck, his arms are around me and our legs are twisted together. I stop trying to move and instead focus on getting a close up view of him where I don't have to be abashed about my staring. It's dark but I can still manage to get a decent view. He really is beautiful. His normally perfectly styled hair is loose and hanging around his face, his mouth is twisted into a small smile. I lightly run my hand down his chest, I like that he has chest hair, it feels so masculine, Jake has no chest hair, come to think of it I don't believe any of the guys I've been with have had chest hair. He's really fit, I can see the muscles in his chest and his arms, it's not obnoxiously fit, he's still a fairly skinny guy, it's just a nice kind of fit. It's clear he cares about his health but doesn't obsess over it.

"You're staring." He says suddenly. I am so surprised by his words that I jump backward and fly off the bed. Now I'm naked on the floor of my hotel room and Fitz is laughing hysterically, at me from atop the bed. I crawl back up and scowl at him, quickly pulling myself under the covers as I slide back into bed. I know we've already slept together and he's obviously seen everything but it's always different in the morning light. Like somehow all your flaws become visible in the dawn.

Fitz is propped up on his elbow now, staring at me. "Now all of a sudden you're shy?"

I know I'm blushing as he reaches his hand over toward me and pulls the sheet down from my shoulder.

"I don't think you quite understand how beautiful you are." He says, running his hand down my side.

Okay, now I know I'm blushing, I can feel it creeping into my cheeks. His hand is now gripping my hip and he pulls me over to him, our bodies are pressed together and his lips crash onto mine again and oh, he feels so good. I don't think I've ever been kissed this way before; he could just keep kissing me. I'd be perfectly fine never going up for air and just dying this way, as long as he just keeps kissing me. He shifts his body so that he's on top of me, I can feel his erection hot on my thigh and it's making me wet with anticipation. Instead of going right for the gold, like most guys would, he reaches his hand down and lets his fingers massage between my legs. My gasp is muffled by his mouth's sensual assault on my own mouth. This is fantastic, his fingers have found the perfect rhythm and I am squirming underneath him because I just want him to take me now. I am panting and moaning and he finally brings his mouth up from mine. I gasp at the loss of contact.

"Fuck me." I whisper into his ear, I can barely get the words out because his fingers feel so good inside me.

He laughs and leans down to whisper in my ear, "I love how dirty your mouth is, but I think I'm going to continue making you writhe underneath me for a while."

I laugh and bite the finger he has placed on my lips. A moment more and his fingers hit the perfect spot and I come apart in his hands. I let go of his finger, there's definitely going to be a bite mark there, I smile to myself. His mouth is back on mine in a matter of seconds and now both of his hands are on my backside, pushing my pelvis into his, I can feel his hardness on my lady bits and the contact is making me wetter by the minute. His mouth leaves my own and he presses hot kisses along my jawbone and down my chest, leaving me almost breathless.

"Please just fuck me already." I say, panting.

He brings his head back up so he is looking into my eyes and he's grinning, "Well, since you said please." With that he reaches a hand down to line himself up with my center and without a moment's hesitation drives himself into me, making me gasp. We quickly fall into a rhythm and I honestly can't remember sex ever feeling this good. His lips find mine and our tongues are dueling passionate as our bodies are completely connected.

I somehow manage to utter the words, "If I had known 'please' was all it took to get you to fuck me I would have said it months ago."

He stops kissing me, though our pelvises continue their perfectly crafted rhythm, "If I had known you wanted me months ago, it wouldn't have even taken that. All you would have had to do was ask and I would have been yours."

I feel a shiver go through my body when he says 'yours', I've never really felt like someone has belonged to me, but Fitz makes me feel that way and truth be told, it scares the absolute shit out of me. His eyes are looking deep into mine and I can just imagine us like this forever, a few more glorious thrusts later and we are both tumbling over the proverbial edge. He falls onto me and I grasp him tightly, as if my arms don't ever want to let him go. Oddly enough I find his body comforting, normally I can't wait to get away from the other person after sex, I run straight to the shower and then get out of there as quickly as I can, even with Jake it's like that. I thought I loved Jake for so many years, I thought that I was just odd and sleeping next to him would be something I just got used to, but the more I think about touching Jake like this the more repulsive it becomes, not because he isn't attractive, because he is, but because I've completely fallen for Fitz.

I nuzzle my face into his neck, he smells so good. Like Armani cologne and some smell I can't place that must be purely Fitzgerald Grant. We lie like this and I must fall back asleep because the next time I open my eyes Fitz is propped up on his elbow and looking right at me.

"Now you're staring." I say, opening my eyes to see Fitz propped up with his elbow on his pillow; I turn my head to look at the clock to the right of me. It's 8:06 AM; I must have fallen back asleep.

"It was my turn to stare." He replies, smiling at me.

I turn around and scoot closer to him, he pulls me in toward his body, I feel so comfortable in his arms, I could just stay here all day with him.

He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me up so our faces are at the same level; he lightly kisses my lips, lingering for a moment before pulling back.

"We should get ready. I could use a shower." He says, winking at me.

I laugh, "Are you propositioning me?"

He joins in my laughter, "I guess I'm not doing a great job of it, am I?"

"No, but I'll join you any way." I say cheekily, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Well, let's head to the bathroom before I start round 3 right here." He says, running his hand down my back to cup my behind.

"Are you, you know, good to go, already?" I stutter out.

He gives me a strange look, "I feel like that's a dig at my age." He says as he sits upright on the bed.

He looks like he's laughing but I think he also might be a little hurt at my comment because underneath his laugh he wears a serious face. I shoot upward as well, "No, no I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way. I just…I'm sorry." I sputter out; "I'm not sure what I meant with my statement. I did read that men take longer to….get ready for another round….once they start to get older. I didn't mean it to be offensive; it was just an honest wondering."

He keeps looking at me with that serious face and I feel like he might be mad at me, but he surprises me when after a moment he gives me a small smile. "No, it's not your fault, this is uncharted territory for both of us."

I smile, grateful he's let my comment slip, and kneel up on the mattress; I wrap my arms around his neck, "Let's shower." I say, and kiss him deeply as he pulls me off the bed and carries me to the shower, my legs wrapped possessively around his waist. He carries me to the shower and turns it on; I barely notice this, as I'm so absorbed in kissing him. We get into the shower and I find my footing on the ground. The water is raining down on us and I've shut my eyes so I'm just feeling Fitz. It's funny to think we are so comfortable already, with Jake it was always awkwardly knocking into each other whether or not our eyes were open or closed, with Fitz it's as if we are telepathically communicating so we both know what to do. He presses me back against the wall of the shower and he runs his hands all along the sides of my body. He has fantastic hands, they are large but thin and they know exactly what my body wants, like they can feel my desire just through touch. His hands venture down to my thighs and pick up my legs, placing them around his waist. I can feel his erection again; every time I feel it I swear my anticipation for him just grows more and more.

He continues to kiss me and moves his mouth along my jaw and upward towards my ear, he bits my earlobe and I let out a small scream because it feels so good. He whispers quietly in my ear, "I sense this is going to be a quick one."

I nod; I'm experiencing far too much pleasure to speak. I reach my hand down to find his hardness and place it at my entrance. He thrusts into me and I let out a scream of pleasure from the new angle standing up has given us. I'm pretty powerless here so I just let him set the pace, thrusting in and out of me. I'm pretty sure if we weren't in the shower and my screams weren't muffled by the sound of the water, we would be causing quite the ruckus. My orgasm hits me like a train, I'm pretty sure I black out from the pleasure for a moment. As I'm coming back to earth I realize that Fitz hasn't came yet and since he did such great work with his mouth and fingers, I want to return the favor.

I tap his shoulder, "Put me down." I say breathlessly.

He gives me a confused look but sets me down; I can see him groan a little as he pulls out his still hard member.

I wait a moment to make sure I am balanced and I sink down to my knees, taking his penis in my hand.

"Olivia, you don't have to do this." He says, bending down to grab my arms and pull me back up.

"No." I say forcefully, grabbing his arms before they can pull me back up. "I want to, let me make you feel good." I say, trying my best to give him a sultry look.

I've always been one of those women who feel that a blowjob gives me the power and not the other way around. I'm in charge during it; I decide whether or not he gets off and how quickly it happens. In my opinion, I have all the power and I like that.

He lets go of my arms but doesn't say a word; he just steps backward so his back is closer to the wall of the shower.

I take his penis in my hand, he's really quite big, I knew he was big, but it looks even more impressive up close. I slowly put my mouth over his member; he groans and leans backward against the wall. I pick up the pace, pushing his rock hard member into my mouth until I can feel him on my throat. I know he's close so I attempt to send him over the edge by lightly taking his balls in my hand and massaging them. That's just enough to push him over the edge; he screams my name as he ejaculates into my mouth. I let the falling water wash the ejaculate out of my mouth and watch him as his orgasm rocks his body. I'm sure I'm grinning like an idiot, I love that I'm the reason he's feeling so much pleasure. After he comes back to earth he grabs my arms and pulls me up, kissing me deeply. "Good god, I haven't had anyone do that for me in years, I forgot how great it feels." He continues to kiss me and I reluctantly pull back, "We should probably actually wash up, instead of just getting dirtier."

This makes him laugh, "Let me wash you." He says, not even waiting for my answer. He turns me around and grabs the shampoo from the shower ledge and squeezes it into his and within seconds he is massaging it into my hair.

His hands are massaging my scalp and I feel like I'm at the salon, his hands truly are magic. I reach for the wall of the shower to steady myself as he continues to massage my head. A moment later he is pulling me around to face him, he captures my lips with his own and kisses me deeply as his hands push the shampoo out of my hair. I like that he is so much taller than me, even though I'm pretty sure all this bending up to kiss him is going to make my neck feel terrible tomorrow. I'm 5'4", which isn't really that tall but isn't ridiculously short either", Jake is only 5'10" and the six inches don't really do much for me, I like how much taller Fitz is, even in my highest heels he is still much taller than me.

He's still kissing me and washing the shampoo out of my hair. After a moment he stops and turns away and I start to pout, when he turns around he starts to laugh at my facial expression.

"I'm just grabbing your conditioner." He says with a smile as he turns me around and begins massaging the conditioner into my hair. He's running his hands through my hair and I'm feeling that familiar tingling in between my legs. This is insane; I've never wanted someone so much before when we've just been together not five minutes ago.

I lean back into his firm chest and his hands make their way from my hair and down my front, they're slowly massaging my breasts and one hand is making its way down between my legs.

"You realize that conditioner is only meant for the hair on your head." I say, jokingly.

"My mistake, I'll go back to your hair." He says teasingly, removing his hand.

"No, no, no." I plead, grabbing his hand and pulling it back down toward me.

He laughs into my ear; I know he was just messing with me.

"Ass." I half whisper, half moan as his hand begins its ministrations and I melt backward into him yet again, I can feel his muscles on my back, he feels so strong I feel like I could just lay against him for hours. His hand begins to move faster and I know I'm going to lose it in a matter of minutes. He presses his mouth to the sensitive spot on my neck right below my ear and I can feel my breathing hitch.

"Let go, baby." He whispers into my ear and that's all I can take. I can feel the immense pleasure shooting through me and I go limp in his arms. I turn around when I regain the feeling in my legs and start to kiss him again. He's running his hands down from my head to my back as he's rinsing the conditioner out of my hair and it feels wonderful.

He rinses the last of the conditioner out of my hair and I turn around to grab the shampoo so I can wash his hair.

"Your turn." I say, putting the shampoo in my hand and motioning for him to bend down so I can massage the shampoo in to his hair.

He laughs at me, "I'm going to smell like you if you use that."

I grin wickedly at him, "Think of it as my way of marking you." I love teasing him.

He returns my grin, "Oh, I think you've already left your mark on me, several marks if I remember correctly." He says, putting the shampoo bottle back on the shower ledge.

My grin widens, he's right, there is definitely going to be a bite mark on his left index finger and there is probably also going to be one on his right shoulder as well.

I reach my hands up to massage the shampoo into his hair but I find he's too tall for me to properly do it.

"Bend your knees." I say. He silently obliges and I massage the shampoo into his hair. I like that he's going to smell like me, it makes me feel like he belongs to me. But he doesn't belong to me, not really. Yeah, we've had three rounds of earth shattering sex, but we haven't talked about what we are yet. What if I'm not the first assistant he's done this with? From everything I know about him he doesn't seem like the kind of person to do that, but at the same time he's doing it now with me so anything is possible. But I can't think about that, not right now. I don't even realize it, but apparently I've started to frown.

"Olivia?" Fitz says, clearly noticing the change in my facial expressions. "Are you all right?" He asks me, I can see the concern in his face as he stands up straight, placing his hand on my cheek.

"Livvy." He says sternly, I know he wants me to tell him what's going on in my head but I just can't do it right now.

"Ask me again later?" I say, my eyes pleading with him to agree.

"Okay." He says, nodding in agreement as he bends down and kisses me, his hand still on my cheek.

I look into his eyes. "You're the only person I like to call me Livvy." I say.

He smiles at me, "I like that."

I smile at him too, our foreheads are now touching and we stand there for a moment, letting the water wash over us as we just let this perfect little moment consume us.

After a moment I reach back to grab my body wash and offer it to him. He laughs, "Okay, I don't mind my hair smelling like you but I draw the line at pomegranate soap. I think I'll stick to my generic hotel soap." He says, grabbing the bar from the ledge and taking it out of its wrapper.

"Suit yourself." I say, lathering myself up with the bright pink liquid soap. "I bet that hotel crap feels awful on your skin once you're out of the shower." I jest.

"Just because it isn't your fancy soap doesn't mean it won't get the job done." He teases as he rinses himself off.

I step out of the shower and quickly grab two towels. I wrap one around me and it barely covers me from top to bottom. Fitz quickly wipes off his upper body and then ties the towel around his waist. I am practically leering at him as I stare at how the towel hangs so perfectly on his extremely fit body.

He's staring at me too, "You know, I used to hate how tiny hotel towels are but right now I'm thanking the hotel gods for making them so tiny." He says, grinning wickedly at my towel, which barely covers up enough of my body to be decent. If I bent over my whole butt would be exposed and if I pull the towel down any farther my breasts will be on complete display.

"Yeah, well you're going to like this even more." I say, flashing him a devious grin and then pulling the towel away from my body and giving him a quick peek at everything that is underneath before quickly covering myself back up.

"Oh, god, you're perfect." He whines and I continue to laugh.

He looks at the clock, it's not even 9 AM but we both know we are going to have to head out of our little bubble soon and interact with the real world.

He looks at me and sighs, "I'm going to have to go back to my room and get ready."

I frown, I really don't want him to leave but I know he has to.

"I'll be quick. I'll just come right back." He says.

I nod, "Okay, just take my key. It shouldn't take me too long to get ready but you'll probably be quicker still."

He grabs the key and smiles at me. I watch him as he puts on his jeans and oxford shirt from last night. He looks handsome in them even though they're all wrinkly from being on the floor.

He walks out the door and before he opens it he looks into the bathroom at me, "I'll be right back, I promise." With that he smiles at me and walks out.

I go back to my bathroom routine, brushing my teeth, washing my face, and drying my hair. I decide to only partially dry it since I'm not technically working and it will be okay if it's just messy and curly like it usually is. I run through the plan for the day in my head. I have plans to meet up with some Quasar-Con friends today. I've seen a few of them already but there are about 7 of us who meet up on the last day of Quasar-Con every year, we met and bonded in our first attempt to meet the cast of 'Helio Space One' and we've been getting together for the last four years. It's cool actually, none of them are even from California and they still come back to Quasar-Con every year. I can't wait to tell them all about the day I had yesterday. I'm still in awe that I actually got to have a real conversation with Sofia Beckett; I mean Sofia freaking Beckett gave me a hug! I smile to myself; I can't believe Fitz would do that for me. Jake would never do that kind of thing.

I frown to myself, Jake. I'm going to have to officially end things with him soon. I think I should do it in person; we've been through too much to just do it over the phone. I tried to make the break permanent but he refused to believe I meant it and I really need to put my foot down when we talk next time. Jake is still fully committed to me, I feel terrible about that but I don't love him the way he deserves to be loved and stringing him along even further isn't right. Especially after everything I did last night with Fitz.

Oh, Fitz. I can feel the blood rush between my legs just thinking about him. I can feel a shiver go through my body and I smile. No one has ever affected me in the way he does, it's such a new feeling and I really am enjoying it. I head out to find my clothes; I bend over to pick up my demolished pair of underwear off the floor. I make a note to myself to tell Fitz that he owes me a new pair. I decide against my Lt. Rory costume for today since the jacket still has some sand in it from when I dropped it on the beach last night and I decide to just go with my favorite Star Wars t-shirt, which bears a picture of Han Solo and the phrase, "Han shot first". I had it signed by Harrison Ford when I was just eleven years old and I've been wearing it to at least one day of Quasar-Con ever since. I decide to put it with a pair of skinny black chiffon harem pants with silver studs down the sides. I smile, these are one of my favorite pairs of pants and I always feel confident in them. I slip my clothes on and look at myself in the mirror, the shirt is still baggy on me but I've retro-fitted it over the years to look cool. The sides are cut and tied together so it looks like a fringe and I cut the crew neck off, instead opting for a v-neck. The only size left when I was a kid was a men's adult medium and I wanted it so much that I bought it anyway. I put in the death star earrings Caroline got me for Christmas and then I go diving through my suitcase in search of a pair of shoes to complete my outfit.

I hear the key turn on the door and I smile to myself but don't look back, I know its just Fitz. The door shuts quietly and he makes his way over to the bed and sits down, he just stares at me.

Finally I turn around because I can feel his gaze hot on my backside, "What?" I ask him, feigning annoyance.

"I love your hair curly like that, why don't you wear it like that to the office?"

I shrug, "I feel older and more professional with it straight. Maybe I'll consider wearing it like this for you every so often." I say with a wink as I go back to rifling through my things.

"You know, I liked the towel look better." He says, grinning wildly at me.

I roll my eyes and grab my tattered pair of underwear and whip it at him.

The ball of undies lands right in his lap and he picks them up to see what they are.

"You owe me a new pair." I say, trying to look serious but in reality I'm stifling a laugh.

"Okay, how about for every pair of underwear I rip, I'll buy you ten new pairs." He counters.

I laugh, "Are you planning on ripping more of my underwear?"

He slowly gets off the bed and deposits the ruined undies in the trashcan before he walks over to me. He places his hands around my cheeks and then bends down to kiss me on the mouth and whispers, "I kind of liked it.

I start to laugh uncontrollably and I shake my head and turn around to find the black wedge booties I know I packed somewhere in my mess of a suitcase.

Fitz makes his way back to the bed and takes a seat once again.

I finally find my black booties and throw my hands up in the air, victorious.

"Yes!" I shout, and Fitz laughs.

I sit down on the floor to put them on, sliding some thin socks on first.

"How do you walk in those?" Fitz asks me, his face in a confused frown as he looks down at the shoes.

"They're comfy. And these ones only have a three-inch wedge so they're really easy to walk in. These are nothing compared to the six-inch wedges I had on yesterday." I say, continuing to tie the strings on my shoes.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you in anything but heels." He says, thinking aloud.

"You're probably right." I answer back, "My Mom always said even if you're a tall woman it's good to wear heels because it puts you at eye-level with the men around you."

"She's a lawyer, right?" He says, cocking his head to the left trying to recall the several times we've talked about her.

"Yep. And she wears heels every single day." I say, grinning at him as I stand up.

"Very hip." Fitz says, checking out my outfit, as he stands up too.

"That's just the way I roll." I say, trying to sound cool and making a peace sign with both my hands, which just makes him laugh at me and soon enough I'm joining in the laughter as well.

A moment later he looks at his watch, "Well, its 9:30, want to grab some food before we head out?"

I nod, "Hotel or do you want to stop somewhere along the way?"

"Actually, I know a place just down the road, if you don't mind going a little bit out of the way." He says, pulling his keys out of his pocket.

I shrug my shoulders; "Sure, we don't really have a schedule today. I only want to go to two panels and both of them are after 3 PM and I'm not planning on meeting up with my friends until 1 PM."

"We can probably still make it by 11:00 or 11:30, this place is just down the road a bit and I promise you, it's great." He says smiling as he opens the door for me.

As I walk out into the hallway I see one of the associates from Grant Global Communications, Amanda, I groan. She is literally the last person I want to see right now.

She sees me walk out of the hotel room and starts waving, "Liv! Hi! Don't you look adorable."

I turn towards the wall and roll my eyes; I hate it when people only slightly older than me treat me like I'm a kid. I also curse under my breath as Fitz follows me out of my room and I see Amanda's reaction change when she sees him following me. Her face is a mix of shock and annoyance.

"Fitz!" She says excitedly, "I didn't expect to see you." She stops in front of us, her eyebrows raised.

Sometimes I'm extremely grateful that both of my parents are lawyers because I think it gave me predisposition to lie, and to be good at it.

"I lost a contact and luckily Fitz arrived so we could head over to the convention center and was nice enough to help me find it." I say, smiling at her.

"Oh," she says, her facial expression changing from one of shock to one of slight disappointment.

"Are you heading to the convention center?" Fitz asks her politely.

"I'm meeting Mark for a quick brunch first. You two should join us?" She asks excitedly.

I notice that in the time we've been talking she has moved closer to Fitz and now she has her hand on his forearm. I would really like to scowl at her but since she apparently believed my lie from before I should probably stand here and try to be cool.

Fitz presses his lips together, "Oh, I wish we could but I've got to discuss a couple things with Cyrus Beene over at the convention center."

Amanda's face falls into an overly dramatic pout, "That's too bad, well we all will have to meet up later today!"

"Just text us when you have a free moment, I've been enjoying learning the ins and outs of Quasar-Con from our resident pro, but we'd love for you and Mark to join us when you're not busy." Fitz says, he's using his best 'charming clients' voice and I'm trying not to laugh, as Amanda is clearly unaware of the fact that he's blowing her off. We are definitely not meeting up with them, thank god.

"Sounds so great!" Amanda exclaims, "See you both later!" And with that she walks the opposite way down the hallway toward the elevators.

Fitz and I walk in silence to the stairs at the opposite end of the hallway until we hear the elevator ding and Amanda gets on.

I let out a breath that I've been holding and we enter the stairwell leading down to the side of the hotel and the quicker way to the valet parking garage.

We still aren't speaking as Fitz makes his way to the valet counter and the man working goes to get his car.

I'm looking at him, my lips pursed together because I want to say something about how awkward that was, but I can't find the right words.

Fitz turns around and immediately laughs at me. "Is this your thinking face, because if so, I'm a little nervous?" He jokes.

I relax a little and roll my eyes at him.

"Do you think she knew the truth?" I ask quietly.

Fitz's face suddenly gets serious again, "I don't know. I think she bought your excuse. That was some quick thinking by the way; do you have a lot of practice in the deceit department?" He's got a small smile on his face, he's joking of course.

I laugh, "I was a bit of a troublemaker in high school." I say, "Thing is, my parents don't really know because I always managed to cover my tracks. You have to be a good liar to make two lawyers believe you."

"The misspent youth of Olivia Pope, I'd read that book." He says, still smiling at me.

"I was quite the con artist in high school. The thing is I never drank or smoked or did drugs, I mostly just snuck into the city for concerts. I honestly don't even know how I managed to get into so many 21 and over clubs. Oh, and one time when I was in London with a student group I snuck over to Paris for a day, that was pretty awesome." I say, smiling as I think about all the crazy things I did in high school.

"Did you ever sneak out of the house for comic book conventions?" He says, teasing me.

I stick my tongue out at him, "No, my Dad always was always happy to send me to those."

He laughs at my childish antic and just then the valet returns with his car. Fitz tips him, opens the door for me, and then gets in himself and we are off to get our food.

I lean back in the comfortable leather of his little Mercedes and peer out the window. He wasn't joking; this place must be right on the water.

"Have you ever done this before?" I ask him, my voice quiet and timid.

"Drive? Uh, yeah I've only had my license for about thirty years." He says, joking around with me, he knows that's not what I'm asking about.

I turn to glare at him, "You know that's not what I meant."

He takes a deep breath, "You mean sleep with my assistant?"

"Yeah." I say, my voice still quiet because honestly I'm a little afraid to know the answer to this question.

"Is this why you got all quiet in the shower?"

I nod my head.

"No. Never." He says, looking at me, his eyes are wide and I can tell he's being honest with me.

"Why?" I ask, I feel a little relieved that I'm the only one he's ever slept with, but I'm also unnerved as to why I'm the _only_ one he's slept with.

"Why you're the only one I've slept with or why I didn't sleep with any of the others?" Oh great, he's reading my mind now. I think as he turns to look me in the eye.

"Both." I say.

He doesn't answer me for a moment because he is pulling into a parking space, but I don't stop looking at him. After he puts the car in park he turns to me, giving me his full attention.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "Well, first of all, my last assistant only lasted a month. She thought the job was only going to be all parties and hanging with celebrities, she drove me crazy, I was happy she quit before I had to fire her. My assistant before her was here for five years and I never slept with him."

"Him." I say with a goofy grin on my face.

Fitz smiles back at me, "Robbie, he was great. He was my assistant for five years, in fact you can blame him for all the unreasonable work I ask you to do. He was a great assistant and he now runs our smaller LA office. You'd like him, you two should meet up the next time you're in LA."

"What about your assistants before him?" I wish I didn't have such an urge to find out this information.

"Before him I didn't spend a lot of time with my assistants, they were just that, assistants. They did all the boring work. I never really spent any time with them until Robbie came along. And as for why I didn't sleep with the others, it's because I've never been the kind of man who is attracted to looks alone; passion and intelligence are big factors for me. None of my previous assistants had that special something. Then Robbie came and he became not just an employee but an asset. You are the same way. But that's not the reason I decided to break social taboo's to sleep with you. I find you mesmerizing. I love how passionate you are about the things you love, I love how you're intelligent but you don't feel the need to prove it, I love that you're extremely cultured but don't act like it makes you better than anyone else, I love that you're not afraid to be who you are, and I don't mean to sound vain, but you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. I like you, and I was terrified to admit it until you forced me to. Thank you for that by the way, I know that this is not a normal situation and that it's going to be very complicated but I really would like to see where this goes. I'm not the kind of person who just sleeps with someone and never speaks about it again. I want to spend more time with you, outside of work that is, if that's all right with you?"

Fitz is looking at me intently and I know I am blushing from all the compliments he's just given me and I'm trying not to focus on the fact that he's just used the word 'love' four times in describing why he is attracted to me-which I'm sure in no way was a Freudian slip-I'm at a loss for words so I simply say, "Okay."

He smiles at me and moves to get out of the car and then walks around to open my door. The restaurant he has taken me to is barely a restaurant, it's definitely the kind of place you have to know about in order to find. It's a tiny little place with eclectic artwork all over, it's small and cozy and most of the tables are outside because the inside is so tiny.

We take a seat outside and before the waiter can even ask us what we want, Fitz has ordered for us.

I give him a joking scowl; "I hate it when people order for me." I say, because I really do, it drives me crazy.

Fitz laughs at me, "Somehow I figured that, but I had to order the special for you because it's the reason I've taken you here and I couldn't risk you ordering something else." He says, his eyes pleading with me to forgive his tiny misstep.

I roll my eyes, "Fine, but just this once!"

"Deal." He says, his eyes glimmering at me.

For the next ten minutes we talk about how much we love the ocean, I find out that Fitz is a surfer too and that before he went into the Navy he spent a month surfing his way around Australia.

"So you _were_ kind of a rebel?" I ask him as he finishes a story of seeing a great white off the coast of Australia.

He laughs, "Absolutely not, I was the opposite, but when I joined the Navy after college my Dad told me that I should do something I always wanted to do before I had to leave, so I surfed around Australia. I'm not the world's best surfer, but I had a lot of fun."

I smile at him, I can see his eyes light up when he talks about surfing, it's clear he really enjoys it.

"I went to Australia once while we lived in Okinawa but I didn't get to surf, I didn't really get in to surfing until we moved back to California. I got into it a bit in Okinawa but not really until I was in high school and we left soon after. My Dad used to take me out when I was little and we were living in San Diego, he'd let me sit on his board while he surfed. I loved that." I say, getting nostalgic about the days of my childhood.

He smiles at me; "Maybe I'll take you there someday and we can surf together."

I smile back timidly, "I'd like that."

Just then our food arrives and I realize I never even asked him what he ordered, to my delight it is the most delectable-looking French toast I have ever seen. It's dripping in bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, powdered sugar and agave syrup and I can feel my mouth start to water at merely the sight.

"Are you still mad at me for ordering for you?" Fitz says, laughing at the awestruck expression on my face.

"Absolutely not, you are totally and completely one hundred percent forgiven." I say without taking my eyes off the wonder that is in front of me.

I did my fork into the soft and warm center and I take my first bite, it is even better than I could have imagined.

"Oh my god. This is so good I could choke on it and die and I wouldn't even care because it would still be delicious." I say, my mouth full of food. "How on earth did you find this place?"

"My Dad used to take me when I was a kid." He smiles at me and then begins to eat his food too.

"You talk a lot about your Dad but you've never mentioned your Mom, why is that?"

"My Mom passed away when I was ten, I didn't really know her that well."

"Oh", I say, I didn't mean to make the conversation so morbid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

Fitz smiles at me and shakes his head, "Don't worry about it. It was a long time ago and I've been okay for a long time. My Dad was great and my Aunt really stepped up and helped us out, I had a good childhood."

I smile at him, "You are kind of remarkable."

"I feel the same way about you."


	14. Chapter 14

_"He had no plans, no definite intentions, except to kiss her lips again."_

_ ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Four Fists_

* * *

The last day of Quasar Con goes by like a blur, though even if I wasn't having a wonderful time I'd be giddy enough alone from every time we are sitting in on a panel or surrounded by hoards of people and Fitz decides to grab my hand and link our fingers. I normally hate holding hands; I hate getting sweaty palms and the awkwardness of not knowing what to with your other hand but this I like. I like holding Fitz's hand.

It's 7:30 by the time we leave and we have about a four and a half hour drive from Santa Barbara back to San Jose and as hard as I try to stay awake, I fall asleep for the majority of the car ride leaving poor Fitz to entertain himself as he drives. I wake abruptly at the feeling of a hand shaking me softly.

"Livvy." I can hear someone say my name.

I shoot up when I realize it is Fitz. I look out the window and see we are parked in front of my apartment complex.

"Shit, we're back already? I'm so sorry I fell asleep, I didn't intend to." I say, giving him my best apologetic face.

He laughs at me and moves his hand up to smooth out my mussed up hair. "It's okay, it was a big weekend and you've got work tomorrow. Your terrible boss is making you come in at 9."

"God, that guy's the worst." I say with a yawn.

He laughs at me and moves to get out of the car. I do the same and stand up to stretch while he grabs my suitcase from the trunk. He walks over to me with the suitcase in hand and I reach for it.

"No, I'll take it up for you." He says as he swats my hand away.

"You don't have to, I can get it." I say, stifling another yawn.

He chuckles at me and walks over to the building anyway.

I roll my eyes and catch up to him. We walk up the stairs and I lead him to the apartment I share with Abby. I didn't see her car in the parking lot, but I didn't get a good look, so I'm not sure if she's home.

Sure enough, I open the door and find her sitting on the sofa eating a bowl of soup and watching some crime drama on television.

"Hey, welcome back! How was Quasar Con you nerd?" She's half paying attention to me and half paying attention to the television until I turn around to make room for Fitz to come in.

When she sees him her eyes grow wide and she abruptly sets her bowl down on the coffee table, spilling a bit of its contents, though she doesn't seem to notice.

"Fitz this is my roommate Abby, Abby this is my boss Fitz." I say motioning between them.

Fitz looks up, "Hi Abby, nice to meet you. Liv's told me a lot about you." He says with a smile as he sets my suitcase down and steps over to extend his hand to her.

Abby stands up and takes his hand, awkwardly staring at him still. She somehow manages to say, "Likewise." And gives him a slightly less awkward smile before sitting back down, though she's still staring at him.

"I can get it from here." I tell Fitz, looking at him with my eyes wide in reaction to Abby.

For a minute I'm sure he's going to argue with me that he can take it into my bedroom but I am relieved when he doesn't, that would have been a little weird with Abby being here.

I walk him out the door and lower my voice so Abby has a harder time eavesdropping.

"Thank you for helping me with my suitcase and thank you for letting me be a part of this weekend. It was beyond anything I could have imagined." I'm definitely talking about Quasar Con, but I'm also talking about what went on between us.

He understands my subtext and winks at me, grabbing my hand in his own and rubbing the spot between my thumb and forefinger. "I'm glad." He responds and then leans in to kiss my cheek and whispers against my ear, "Goodnight sweet baby." I can't help myself from letting out a huge sigh. I smile at him and I whisper, "Goodnight", and with that he heads back down to his car.

I stand on the balcony and watch him walk down until he gets to his car and waves to me; I wave back and then head inside.

I walk back in the apartment to a now standing up Abby.

"Holy fuck." She continues to stare at me. "That is the most handsome man I've ever seen in person. How the hell did you not communicate that to me?"

I laugh at her, trying to be casual so she won't suspect that I'm hiding something, and I grab my suitcase to take into my room. "I told you he was handsome you freak."

She follows me into my room, "Well, yeah you said he was handsome and I've seen pictures of him but they do not do that man justice, he's like a real-life version of a damn Disney prince!"

I'm still laughing at her as I set my suitcase down on the floor so I can begin to unpack my clothes. "You're ridiculous." I say to her.

"Shit, Liv, I would have such a hard time working for that guy and not thinking about jumping his bones twenty four-seven." She says as she flops down on my bed.

I lay down beside her; I'm too tired to unpack anyway. "Oh calm down, he's my boss. He's a cool guy, that's the only context I think about him in."

I'm glad she's not looking at me because I'm pretty sure it's totally obvious I'm lying as I say those words.

Going to work the next morning feels weird. I'm surprisingly well-rested, thanks mostly in part to Fitz letting me sleep for three hours in the car, but I've got more spunk in my step than just being well-rested would usually give. I get to the office and make my way into the building, stopping briefly to say hello to Harrison and having a short chat with him before I head over to my office. I assume Fitz is already at the office because he is usually there before everyone in the morning. I say hi to Martha and ask her how her weekend went and after a quick chat I walk over to my office. I look over at Fitz's door and notice that there is no light coming from the bottom.

It's as if Martha sensed my question because she looks over at me and says, "He's not here yet. He called and said he was going to be a little late this morning."

I give her a quizzical look and she shrugs her shoulders, indicating she doesn't know why.

So I enter my office and get started on my work, he's probably tired because he had to drive back last night. Whoops, I definitely feel a little guilty about that.

About a half an hour later I hear the unmistakable voice of Fitz greeting Martha. I smile to myself, I don't know why I'm suddenly so happy he's here, I knew he was coming.

I hear him head into his office a moment later and then I hear a knocking at my door. I smile to myself and decide to mess with him since he loves to do it to me so much, "Password please." I say, getting up and moving so that I am standing right by the door.

"Quasar Con?" He ventures a guess.

"Nope, wrong." I say, laughing to myself.

"Lt. Rory?" He guesses again.

"Wrong again." I tease.

"Please?" He says, to anyone else the word would just be a request but for us it's something different, I know he's referring to one of our conversations that took place in bed over the weekend and I smile as I open the door.

"That's correct." I say as I let him in my office.

I look up at his beautiful smile, for some reason he's so much more attractive when he's smiling just for me.

"Good morning." He says, taking a step closer to me and pulling me into his body, his lips softly cover mine and before I know it I'm pressing myself against him.

I pull back, "We cannot do that at work. Even though I'd really like to."

He smiles at me, "You're right, that wasn't a great idea, I just couldn't resist."

I grin at him and feel my face get hot.

He laughs at me and sits down in one of the chairs across from my desk so I move to sit down at my chair.

He leans forward and crosses his hands together. "I have a proposition for you." He states simply.

I lean forward, my brow furrowed in intrigue. "Okay."

"You can say no if you want to, my feelings won't be hurt, I just want to throw it out there. Feel absolutely free to say no." He's talking with a lot of hand motions and it's making me a little nervous.

"All right, noted." I say, now I'm just confused.

"As I was falling asleep last night I came to the conclusion that it might be a good idea for us to get to know each other a little better and so I was wondering if you'd like to spend the weekend at my house with me?"

He's got an adorable, hopeful smile on his face and I'm pretty sure I'm smiling like a loon by the time he's done speaking.

"Uh, yeah, yeah that would be good." I stutter out.

He's grinning wildly as he responds, "Good, good. That's just, that's great."

I laugh at him, seeing him anxious is new for me and I kind of find it adorable.

"So, Friday after work how about you come over to my house and you don't plan on leaving until Monday morning." He's now got a devious look on his face.

I roll my eyes at him but still can't help but grin, "That sounds good. Shit, wait I've got to figure out something to tell Abby." Crap, I completely forgot about my roommate.

Fitz frowns but perks back up a moment later, "Oh, why don't you just tell her you're going to San Francisco to visit your sister?"

"Yes! That's brilliant. You're not so bad in the deceit business yourself." I say, winking at him.

He laughs and then gets up to go back into his office. "I can't wait." He says, and then disappears behind the door.

I can't stop smiling as I sit, somewhat wonderstruck, at my desk.

Shit, what the hell am I supposed to wear?

The week has gone by painstakingly slowly and it is finally Friday. I'm back at the apartment for a little while before I head out to Fitz's house. Of course I still haven't packed yet, my clothes are strewn around the room covering everything and my suitcase is still practically empty.

Abby is lying on my bed finishing off a popsicle and being absolutely no help at all.

"Why are you freaking out about what to pack?" Abby asks.

I sigh, "Because I'm visiting Victoria and you know she works in fashion and I always feel like she's judging me if I'm not perfectly put together." I'm lying out my ass right now but of course I can't tell Abby that the real reason I'm freaking out is because I want to look mature for Fitz.

Abby shrugs, "Who cares what she thinks, you've got a great style Liv, just wear what you usually wear."

I roll my eyes at her, "Thank you soo much for the help Abby."

She laughs at me, "Okay, if you want mature go for those faux leather jeggings you bought a couple weeks ago. They make your legs look fantastic.

"Okay, that's good. Now you're helping." I say, grabbing the jeggings from a pile on the floor and grabbing the white t-shirt with studs I love to pair them with.

"All right, what about this skirt?" I say, holding up a long sheer black skirt with a solid miniskirt underneath.

"Oh yeah, that's great." Abby says, tossing in a pastel pink midriff baring top that will go perfectly with the skirt.

I toss in a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, two tank tops, some exercise stuff, and a long and cozy sweater and I'm good to go.

"Okay, I'm out of here. I'm heading to an art show. Text me at some point so I know you're alive and have fun." Abby says, giving me a quick hug and walking out of the room.

I wait for her to leave the apartment and I head to my lingerie drawer. I have already packed the normal undies and bras I will need for the weekend but I want to pack a couple sexy things to surprise Fitz.

I rummage through the drawer and pull out a pair of red lingerie. Jake gave these to me, the thought of which makes me shudder. For some reason I don't think Fitz would appreciate it if I wore lingerie another man bought me. I toss the lingerie out and find the one other piece Jake ever bought me and toss it in the trash as well.

I keep going through the drawer and I finally find two pieces I think he will appreciate, plus I bought them both myself and haven't had a chance to wear either yet so no awkwardness there.

This should be good and now I can finally leave and I can finally see Fitz again.

Thirty minutes later my GPS is telling me that I am almost at Fitz's house. He lives in an affluent suburb of San Jose called Los Gatos and I'm feeling pretty nervous as I drive through the town. It's kind of like an inland version of Palos Verdes, really large houses and lots of cutesy little shops. I drive further southwest and the houses have started to get farther and farther apart. My GPS finally announces that we have reached Fitz's street and as I turn I notice that there are no houses around except one in the far-off distance. I continue driving down the road and turn onto his driveway where I have to enter a code he gave me previously to enter through the gate. As I approach the house it just keeps getting larger. It's a beautiful Spanish-style two story home with an enormous porch that wraps around the side and extends along the back. I can faintly make out a large pool in his backyard and what looks like a basketball court off to the side. I pull up into the circular driveway by his door and a moment later he walks out. I put my car in park but I can't think about getting out just yet because I'm too enthralled with staring at him, he's wearing a pair of fitted jeans and a cable knit charcoal grey sweater. He's so very handsome; I really just can't get over that. He walks over to my car and opens the door for me.

"Welcome." He says, smiling at me as he extends his hand down to help me get out of the car.

I take it and step out, "Is it all right if I park here?" I ask awkwardly.

"Yeah, that's fine. Actually, maybe we can just pull your car into the garage, that might be better." He grabs the keys from my hand and gets in the car, "I'll pull it in." He says, shutting the door and motioning over to a vacant spot in the open garage where his little Mercedes sits. I notice that there are four more closed garage spaces next to the open ones where my little BMW now sits next to his Mercedes.

He gets out of the car and moves to get my suitcase out of the trunk and I walk further into the garage so I can get a look at the other cars, it's a completely open garage on the inside and there are three more cars sitting in there. I spot a Range Rover down at the end, a Ferrari, and a Tesla. I stifle a laugh; of course the only halfway practical car Fitz owns is a Range Rover.

He pulls my suitcase out of the car and we walk over to the front door and into the house.

"The garage connects to the house underground but I want to give you the full tour starting from the front of the house." He says, winking at me.

We walk in the foyer and it's absolutely breathtaking, it's two stories high with a beautiful glass ceiling so you can see through to the sky, the inside is also Spanish-style and decorated in beautiful shades of whites and tans and reds with pops of beautiful dark blues. He takes me through the first floor, which is quite extraordinary, and we head upstairs. We walk down a hallway to the room at the end and when he opens the door it takes my breath away, not the bedroom itself, which is of course fantastic, but the gorgeous blue and green artwork hanging all over the walls. Some are abstract and some are fantastic pieces of art depicting what I know for a fact is County Kerry in Ireland.

I walk over to one, "This is gorgeous."

He walks over to me, "I thought you'd like this."

He lets me stare for a while longer and then we walk over to the balcony. It is an amazing view of his yard; the pool looks like it could have been modeled after the Alhambra in Spain and all I can see for miles behind it is trees and hills. "Do you hike a lot?" I ask.

"Yeah, we can go this weekend if you'd like?" He looks over at me, his eyes are sparkling.

"I would love that." I say, silently thanking myself for bringing a pair of tennis shoes and some workout clothes with me.

Fitz made dinner and we ate in relative silence, just making small talk about work. I think we're both a little unsure of how this is going to work and therefore we are both acting with caution. After dinner he suggests we watch a movie and I agree, it will give me the chance to focus on something else and bring my anxiety level down.

He takes me down to the basement where he has a home theater, of course, and he lets me choose a movie. I pick Almost Famous and we settle into these outrageously comfy reclining chairs. About an hour into the movie I can't even focus on it anymore because all I want to do is kiss him. Sadly the only downside to these amazing chairs is that the armrest doesn't go up so I can't lean over to make out with him. I try to focus on the movie for a few more minutes but I just can't, being alone and having him so near to me gives me that familiar ache between my legs and I want him too badly to worry about anything else.

I get out of my chair and get into his, straddling myself over his legs. He looks a little surprised when I bend down to kiss him on the lips. I break away a moment later and he looks a little surprised.

"I wanted to kiss you." I shrug, looking him in the eyes.

He's a little breathless but manages to respond, "I'm okay with that." And with that he pulls me back down to him and kisses me deeply, our tongues dueling and our bodies pressing together, pleading for more contact.

He sits up and grabs my bottom with both of his hands and presses it into his pelvis and I groan. His hands find their way up my shirt and pull it over my head. Without missing a beat he notices my black lace bra and he groans, moving his head down to kiss the valley between my breasts. I am moaning in pleasure as he moves over to give my taunt nipples some attention, his lips are so talented, I don't even want to know how he acquired this skill but I'd like to thank the girl who clearly helped him figure out exactly what to do. He stands up and his lips leave my nipple to come back up to my mouth.

"Bedroom." He mutters in between kisses.

"You don't want to fuck me in this chair?" I tease.

"I'm forty three years old, I stopped having sex in chairs a long time ago." He quips between kisses.

"Well how about the fantastic sofa in your living room?" I ask, grinning wickedly at him.

"Next time, but this is first time we are having sex in my house and it's happening in my bed and also it's late and I'm old and I'll probably fall asleep when we're finished." He says, breaking the kiss long enough to look me in the eyes.

I laugh, "Your body is so great that I forget you're from the stone-age."

"Oh really?" Fitz says in amusement, "Well just for that I'm going to give it to you so good that you're going to be denouncing god and forming a religion around me when I'm done." He says in mock seriousness.

"Oh, by all means, please do that." I say to him, covering his mouth with mine once again.

He carries me with incredible ease up two flights of stairs and into his room.

He slams the door shut and instead of taking me straight to the bed he pushes my back up against the door and starts to undo the button on my jeans. I put my legs down on the ground and he slides my pants and underwear off me in one swift motion. I realize that I am completely naked save for my bra and he is fully clothed so I decide to start taking off his shirt. I pull it up and slide it off his body as we continue to kiss with me up against the door. I slide his shirt off his arms and he shakes it off and then moves his hand between my legs and starts to massage me. I am now moaning uncontrollably and I can barely stand because the magic he's working with his hand feels so good.

Suddenly he scoops me into his arms and takes me over to his bed. He lays me down in the middle and then pulls me so my bum is on the edge and pushes my knees upward so my feet are resting flat on the bed. Then he goes to work with his mouth and I am overwhelmed with pleasure. I'm glad we're alone in the house instead of back in the hotel room because I can be as loud as I want to and not worry about anyone hearing me. He moves his hands so they are under my legs and around my hips in order to keep my legs open and my body somewhat still. I'm moaning his name over and over and his mouth just isn't stopping. I feel my orgasm come and it shoots pleasure through me. He rides the waves of pleasure out with his fingers and then brings his mouth back up to my lips.

"Oh. My. God." I sputter. "I'm already ready to denounce god and start worshipping you. That was incredible." He grins cheekily and starts to unbutton his pants, tossing them and his briefs on the floor of the room.

"Are you ready?" He asks as he positions himself between my legs.

"Can you just give me a minute?" I ask, I'm still completely out of breath from that first mind-blowing orgasm.

"Of course." He says and he leans over me and starts to kiss me deeply. I can feel his hardened member against my thigh and suddenly I'm completely ready again, I need him inside of me right at that moment.

"Okay." I mutter between kisses, "I'm ready now. I'm ready."

He pauses for a moment and looks into my eyes, "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I beg, "Yes, please."

He grins wickedly and then lines himself up against my entrance and pushes in. Even though this will be our fourth time having sex I am still getting used to how much bigger he is than Jake and I gasp as my body adjusts to him.

It's like he knows this and he starts out slow and steady as my body accommodates him. A moment later I am fully ready and I breathlessly tell him, "Harder."

He looks into my eyes to make sure I mean it and a second later he grants my request and it feels so good that I can see stars. Our bodies are pressed together as they move and one of his hands is on my backside, pushing my body into his so our rhythm is perfect. I can feel everything building inside of me, he leans backward and grabs my right leg, hooking it over his shoulder, the change in position is thrilling and I arch backward and grab the pillows. Several thrusts later I feel a wave of pleasure hit me like a ton of bricks and I can feel myself getting dizzy, he pumps himself into me three more times and then lets go, releasing my leg and collapsing on top of me, kissing me lazily as we both come down from the high's we've just experienced.

He rolls off of me after a moment and pulls me into his chest, his lips never once leaving my own.

"That was extraordinary." I say through breathless kisses. "I am completely ready to denounce all religion that does not involve worshipping you."

"Funny," he says, "I was thinking the same thing."

We lay there quietly for a little while and I look up at him and run my hand through his fantastic hair. "I want to ask you a question, but I'm not sure how you'll react." I say timidly.

He gives me a confused look, "Why are you afraid about how I'll react?"

I sigh, "Because you don't talk about this much and I don't want you to get mad at me for asking about it."

He looks at me as if he's a little hurt by my lack of faith in him, "Livvy, you can ask me. I promise I won't get upset with you." He moves his hand to my face and he strokes my cheek.

I sigh again, "All right. But keep in mind that this is unprecedented for me so if I'm over stepping my boundaries please inform me."

He nods, still looking very confused. "Okay, I can do that."

"It's just…you were married once and I just…I want to know about your marriage." I finally blurt out.

He frowns, "Okay, I think that's fair, what do you want to know?"

I'm pretty relieved, he doesn't look mad at me, so I start to ask my questions. "How old were you when you got married?"

"We were both twenty-eight." He says, not breaking eye contact with me.

"How long did your marriage last?"

"Three years." He says, still stoic as he looks at me.

"Why did you get divorced?" I ask cautiously, I'm a little nervous about this question.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, looking away from me for a moment before he turns back and answers. "She cheated on me."

"Oh," I say, unsure of how to react, "I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, "Don't be, it's not your fault. It's her fault, and it's my fault too. We were growing apart and I just didn't care, I pushed her away and she retaliated. It happens."

I frown, "That doesn't make it hurt any less. Just because you were growing apart doesn't mean it was your fault, you were faithful, when you marry someone you agree to be faithful no matter what. You didn't decide to cheat; it's not your fault."

He gives me a small smile, "Thank you."

I smile back at him, "Was she beautiful?"

He laughs, "Why on earth would you care about that?"

I can feel the blush creeping up on my cheeks, "I don't know…I just do."

He laughs again, "I used to think she was beautiful, but then I met you and all my previous notions about beauty were thrown out the window."

I bush again, "Stop messing with me."

He lifts my chin up so I'm looking at him again. "I'm not messing with you. Not even the slightest."

I look into his eyes, he looks deadly serious and it's making me a little uncomfortable, but honestly I've always been uncomfortable about my looks.

"Okay." I say slowly, "Do you miss her? Do you still see her?"

He smiles at me again, "No to missing her, I used to miss her but then I realized that the person I was missing hadn't been around since college. And as for seeing her, she moved to Los Angeles and got remarried about five years ago. We're cordial with each other when we meet, but it only happens about once every two years or so. I don't hold anything against her anymore, I've moved on and so has she and I'm happy for her but I'm also happy for me."

I have two more questions that I absolutely need to know, "Did she ever live in this house with you?"

He laughs, "No, I promise. I started building this house when our divorce was finalized."

I think I felt my whole body relax, having sex with someone in a bed where his wife used to sleep is pretty weird, I'm glad that's not the case.

"Okay, one more question, did you ever get serious with anyone in the last twelve years?" I'm biting my lip because I'm a little nervous about this question.

"Honestly, no. I dated a few different women and went on a lot of dates but I never got serious with anyone. I just didn't want to settle anymore, if I was going to get serious with someone I had to feel a spark and I just never felt that with anyone."

He's staring at me unabashed and I'm pretty sure my cheeks are beet red because I can feel the heat building up in my face.

"I apologize if I'm being too forward, but I haven't been truly interested in someone for a long time. And I'm not exactly a young man, I like you and I'm interested in you and I'm not about to waste any more time not having you."

I lean forward to kiss him again and then cozy myself up to him and drift off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

_"She saw him the first day on board, and then her heart sank into her shoes as she realized at last how much she wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would ever let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale beside him."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, A New Leaf_

* * *

I wake up the next morning to the sun streaming in through the gorgeous bay windows of his bedroom. If I didn't love it last night, I'm officially in love with it right now. There are no lights on in the room; pure sunlight is illuminating everything. That includes Fitz's gorgeous body. I run my hand down his chest, I've stared at him before but in this perfect sunlight his body is like an open book to me. My hand runs down his chest and stop right at the edge of the sheet, which is barely covering his manhood. I move my hand up but then bring it back down and pull the sheet away, might as well get a good look at him in the daylight. I smile to myself, put the sheet back up, and walk my hand back up his chest and into his hair. I'm really into his hair, maybe it's because I've only ever dated guys with dark hair, but the texture and color of his hair is just mesmerizing. It's so soft and I love its slight curl. I don't know if it's because his soft, light brown hair is literally the opposite of my wiry black locks, but I'm obsessed with it. His eyes start to flutter open and he sees me and starts to grin.

"Were you checking me out again?" He asks cheekily, startling me slightly.

I blush but respond with the truth, "Absolutely, you know, you're kind of beautiful."

He leans in to kiss me, "_You're_ beautiful."

I smile and run my hand down his bicep, good god it feels wonderful.

"So since you got a good look at me, I get to look at you." He says, grinning like a madman.

Suddenly I'm shy, "Oh, Fitz come on."

"Fair is fair."

I roll my eyes and lie back on my pillow, covering my eyes with my arm.

Fitz starts his little journey of the body at my head and slowly pulls down the sheet I have clinging to my breasts. He pulls the sheet down gently and stares at me, I know my cheeks must be crimson. He sits up and rips the sheet away so that I'm completely exposed and kneels between my legs. His hands run up and down my thighs and I can feel my whole body start to tingle. I look to the side because I don't want to look him in the eyes right now. He leans down over me and turns my head back to face him.

"Why are you so self-conscious?"

I look him in the eye but I don't know what to say, so I shrug.

"You're so beautiful Olivia. Absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful and I wish you weren't embarrassed by me looking at you."

He runs a hand down my body from my face to where I want him most and I gasp when his fingers hit just the right spot. He shifts himself so that his head is now in between my legs and I've decided that this is obviously the best way to start off any morning.

His mouth knows exactly what to do to make hot waves of pleasure hit my body. I am clinging desperately to the pillow as I try to keep my lower body still as his tongue does one incredible thing after another and my orgasm hits me like a train. It's a glorious feeling, I've never had a guy who's gone down on me so consistently and I love it. He kisses his way back up my body and finds my mouth, pressing his naked body against my own. I can feel his erection against my stomach and the desire starts to pool between my legs all over again. He breaks the kiss for a moment and asks me, "Can I turn you over?"

I nod my head, I'm a little disappointed but I'm not going to show it, I don't really like doggy style, it's always made me feel kind of dirty. But I want him to enjoy this too and so I turn around and prop myself up on my hands and knees. He grabs me around the waist and says, "No Livvy, lie on your front."

I look back at him and I must look confused because he gives me a reassuring smile.

"Trust me, Livvy." He says softly, running his hand down my bum to the inside of my thigh as I make myself comfortable lying flat on the bed.

Fitz grabs a pillow and slides it under my hips to prop them up slightly. I grab another one and grasp my arms around it so it's propping up my upper body as well.

Fitz parts my legs and situates himself in between them. He lines himself up with my center and I expect him to stay upright but I am surprised when he enters me and presses himself up against me. His mouth kisses my shoulders and one of his arms grips around my stomach while the other intertwines with mine on the bed to keep his balance over me. He starts to move and I gasp and have to press my arms down onto the bed as I adjust to the deep angle. He moves slowly at first, no doubt to let me get used to the angle. It's a little painful at first but quickly becomes so enjoyable that I couldn't contain my moans of pleasure if I tried. He starts to move faster and reaches his arm around and pushes my hair to one side so that he can kiss my neck before finding its place around my waist again. I turn my head so that I can capture his lips with my own and surprisingly the angle doesn't feel awkward. I am so close that my body is starting to shake; he can feel my readiness and picks up the pace. I scream as I feel my release and a moment later I hear his deep grunt in my ear as he lets go too. He collapses onto me and although his weight above me is keeping me in my place, I don't mind because his body on top of mine feels like a safety blanket. We are still intimately connected and he makes no move to remove his now soft member from inside me. He is breathing heavily in my ear and I can feel his heart rate gradually slow down as he's pressed so tightly into my body.

We pant together and catch our breaths and after several moments he pulls out of me. I pout at the lack of contact and turn around so that we are facing each other and wrap my arms around his body and start to kiss his chest and his neck. After a moment he pulls my head up and starts kissing me, deep, open-mouth kisses that are making my desire build up again already. He runs his hand down my buttocks and squeezes; one thing I've learned about Fitz is that although he loves boobs like any straight male, he's definitely more of a butt man. He breaks our kiss and pushes my hair back out of my face.

I look him in the eyes, "I've never had sex in that position before, it was fantastic." I say, grinding my pelvis against him making him groan. "It was very intimate, I've never experienced sex in a from behind position that felt intimate, usually it just makes me feel like a hooker." I say with a laugh.

Fitz pulls me closer to him and hooks one of his legs around mine. "I'm not interested in non-intimate sex. I don't want to sleep with anyone I don't feel a deep connection with. If you're ever uncomfortable with anything, please don't be afraid to tell me Livvy."

I smile at him and give him a light kiss, "I trust you. And I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable but I want to do the things you want to do so even sometimes if I'm uncomfortable I don't want you to stop because if it feels half as fantastic as that did, I'm completely at your mercy."

He laughs and pulls me to him, we cling to each other in silence for a little while and it's not at all awkward, it's comfortable. We lie there for a little while when Fitz gets up, "I'm going to draw a bath, wait here." He says, walking over to the bathroom in all his naked glory. A few minutes later he walks back over to me, still naked, and I smile as I scan my eyes down his fantastically fit body. He laughs at me because he knows I'm checking him out.

"Come on, Livvy." He says with a laugh, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of bed to lead me to the bathroom. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. All whites with gorgeous gold accents and the bathtub, oh lord the bathtub, it is the most glorious thing I have ever seen. It's more like a small pool than a bathtub. There are jets bubbling and it smells heavenly but that isn't even the best part, the best part is that it's one of those sunken in bathtubs that you step down into like you're walking into a Roman bath or a spa at a luxurious tropical resort.

Fitz leads me into the bathtub and he sits down first, pulling me down so that I am lying on top of him. I can feel the uncomfortable stickiness between my legs dissolve almost instantly in the soapy water. My muscles relax and I let out a deep breath as I sink backward into Fitz.

He runs his hands down my arms and finds my hands, intertwining our fingers. I cross them over my body so that we are held together tightly and Fitz lightly kisses my shoulder.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" He asks, his mouth being so close to my ear is giving me chills.

I smile, "I think that's only fair."

"So why don't you have a boyfriend?"

I stiffen up a little but he kisses my shoulder again and that makes me a little more comfortable.

"Well, I did but I just realized we weren't right for each other. It's been kind of a hard breakup, he doesn't really understand that it's over." I really hope Fitz doesn't dig too deep into this because it's not exactly what I want to talk about.

I can feel him smile against my shoulder, "I don't blame him, it would be awful to lose you."

I pull his arms tighter around me. "So how many boyfriends have you had?" He asks.

I grimace, "Only two."

I turn my head around because he hasn't responded and I laugh because he looks kind of shocked. "What? Why is that such a surprise?"

Fitz laughs, "First of all, have you seen you? How is that possible?"

"I don't know. I'm not a prude. I had one boyfriend in high school and I had one boyfriend in college. It's not like I've only slept with two people."

Crap, I kind of wish I hadn't said that.

He's grinning at me now, "So how many people have you slept with?"

I sink down further into the bath and try to deflect the question, "How many people have _you_ slept with?"

Fitz laughs, "I'd be happy to tell you my number but you have to tell me yours first." He teases.

I scowl at him, "Fine, I've slept with five people, oh wait I didn't include you in there so I guess it's six."

"Five people, you're embarrassed about five people?"

"Six and well no, not really. I just…I don't know I want you to think that I'm easy. I mean, I did sleep with you almost immediately after we kissed for the first time."

Fitz laughs and pulls me back toward him and kisses my cheek. "I absolutely do not think you're easy, you are crazy Olivia Pope. So who were these conquests?"

I roll my eyes, "You're a dork. Okay, the first one was my high school boyfriend when I was 17. It was kind of terrible but it got better. Then my first month of college I had this minor thing with a guy on my floor but it ended quickly. Number three was the boyfriend I told you about earlier. We dated on and off for six years. The fourth was a guy I met while we were "off" and I was studying abroad, that only happened a few times. The fifth was a guy I met one summer I stayed at Berkeley and was an "off" summer with said boyfriend, it was just sort of a casual thing. I've never had a one-night stand though, I'm oddly proud of that."

"See, you're not easy."

I smile and oddly I do feel much better now that I've put it all out there and I let myself sink back into him. "Okay, now you have to tell me your number."

Fitz sighs, "My number is eight, you are my eighth."

I sit forward in the tub and look back at him, "Eight? That's it? How is that even possible? Have you seen _you_?"

Fitz laughs, "Well the first was my high school girlfriend, the second was my ex-wife, and numbers three through seven were little relationships I had in between my divorce and meeting you."

"You really take this seriously, don't you?" I say as I run my hand along his bicep.

"I've just never been the kind of person who can have meaningless sex. It's just not me."

"So this means something." I say quietly, it should be a question but it comes out more of a statement.

"I think this may mean more than just something." He whispers quietly.

I don't respond verbally, instead I just take his hands in my own and pull them across my body. I think he's right, this may mean a lot more than just something.

A little while later we get out of the bath and we get ready for our hike. My hair is all frizzy and curly from the warm water but I don't mind because I'm oddly comfortable with Fitz already.

"Ready to go?" Fitz asks. He looks undeniably sexy in his workout clothes, his curly hair is out of control from the hot water as well but he pulls off the look.

We head off up the hill and we hike along the beautiful trails for a good hour before Fitz stops us. We are at the top of a hill, it's a fairly small one but I understand why he wanted to show me this spot when I turn around and catch a glimpse of his house in the distance. "Oh my god, Fitz. This view is gorgeous. Your house looks like something out of a fairytale from here."

I take out my phone and snap a picture. I'd love to post this to instagram immediately but obviously that can't happen.

"Come here." I say, waving him over to me. "Let's take a picture of ourselves."

Fitz laughs at me but he acquiesces my request. He stands next to me, squatting down a bit so that he's not so much taller than me, and he surprises me when he grabs the camera from my hand.

I shoot him a glare and he shrugs his shoulders, "I have longer arms."

I laugh; I can't deny that he's right. I put my arm around his waist and press my face against his and he counts down until he snaps the picture. I step forward to look at it and it's a cute one despite our disheveled, sweaty appearances.

"One more." I say.

He counts down again before he takes the picture but on three instead of smiling he plants a kiss on my cheek.

I giggle and I grab the camera from him, the picture actually turned out really cute.

He grabs the phone back from me so he can look at the picture but then he starts doing something else.

"Hey, you better not be deleting that!" I say as I grab for the phone.

Fitz pulls it away from me so I can't reach it and he uses his other arm to pull me flush against his body.

"I'm not deleting it, I sent it to myself because I like it and I want a copy of it."

I can't help but grin as he pulls me in for a kiss and then breaks away far too soon for my liking.

We eat our lunch and then make our way back to Fitz's house. We enter through a gate into the pool area and I'm about ready to plop myself down on one of the lounge chairs. I drop my small backpack down and throw my phone onto the ground with it and before I know it I am being catapulted into the pool and my body hits the cold water. It's kind of refreshing but at the same time I'm completely shocked because I wasn't expecting it. Fitz jumped in right after he tossed me and he is standing next to me in the water laughing his ass off.

I turn to him, "I am going to kill you." I throw myself at him and try to dunk him under the water but I'm not strong enough and he's tall enough to stand so all I manage to do is crawl all over his shoulders.

He is laughing hysterically as he pulls me over to his front and he starts to kiss me. I can't help but kiss him back. I wrap my arms around his neck and his arms find their way around my torso and my bum. We just stand there in the water kissing for several minutes when we have to break for air. He rests his forehead against my own and we are both breathing deeply. I run my hands through his wet hair and he does the same, pushing mine out of my face.

"Hi." He says quietly.

I can't help the goofy grin that has formed on my face, "Hi." I say back to him and in this moment I could just stay here forever.

We manage to drag ourselves out of the pool a little while later and decide we should shower separately so we actually shower instead of just getting distracted.

It's almost dinner time when I get out of the shower and Fitz must have finished getting ready before I even finished showering because I can already smell something cooking downstairs. I decide that I want to look nice for dinner so I grab the sheer skirt and pink crop top from my bag and I put them on. I decide to dry my hair just a little bit but leave it curly because I know Fitz likes it that way. I slip on a pair of wedges and I make my way downstairs.

I pause at the entrance to the kitchen so that I can watch Fitz. He's got Paul McCartney's newest CD on and he's singing along and dancing as he cooks. He looks gorgeous too, his hair is still kind of wet and his curls are totally untamed by product, he's wearing a white linen button up shirt that's rolled to his elbows and he's wearing a pair of dark blue jeans.

After a moment he notices me but he doesn't stop what he's doing, he just motions me into the room and when I get close enough he grabs my hand and pulls me in close to him and starts to sing along in my ear, "Everybody seems to know what they are talking about. And I can see why it is. They got someone breaking them out. Someone finding the key. Someone setting them free. Could you be that person for me? Would you feel right setting me free?"

I press my face into his shoulder because I'm a little embarrassed but at the same time I like the feeling. After a moment I pull away, "So what are we having for dinner?"

"We are having this salad thing that isn't really salad, it's more like a bunch of veggies and feta cheese and olives chopped up and thrown together with some dressing. I swear it tastes much better than I'm making it out to sound."

I grin at him and lean back against the counter.

"I'm also making these potato wedges with parmesan and a few spices on them."

"Can I do anything to help?" I ask.

He grins, "Nope, just sit right there at the counter and relax."

I see the place settings and wine glasses are already set out at the counter so I walk around and take a seat in the high chair.

"So do you cook often?" I ask him as I watch him finish up our food.

"I do, I'm not the worlds greatest but I do enjoy cooking, although I'm usually cooking for myself so it's nice to cook for someone else for a change." He says, turning around and winking at me which makes me blush profusely.

I grab the wine glass next to my place setting and take a sip and of course it's delicious. I continue to watch Fitz cook, it's pretty entertaining and he looks very happy while he's doing it. A few minutes later he serves us and sits down next to me. He turns to face me and raises his glass, "To being happy."

I smile as I clink my glass against his, I am completely happy possibly for the first time in my life.

We eat our dinner and chat, its comfortable and easy with Fitz but I don't know why I expected it to be anything else. It's always been easy with us, we've been working together for six months and we have a rhythm, it's never forced, it's just nice and simple and easy.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" He asks as we clean up the dishes, "We could watch another movie or we could play a game or really whatever you want to, I'm all right with anything."

I shoot him a devious smile; I have an idea of what I want to do. "Do you have any ice cream, I'd love some dessert?" I say as I run my hand down the front of his shirt.

Fitz grins at me as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking. He turns around and retrieves some vanilla bean ice cream from the fridge. "This is all I have." He says, setting it on the counter and grabbing a spoon from the drawer.

I move closer to him and open the lid of the ice cream and then I pick the spoon from his hand. "This will do just fine."

I dip the spoon into the carton and I bring it up to my mouth seductively, licking the spoon strategically as Fitz gets closer and closer to me. He grabs the spoon from my hand and he gets himself a bite and immediately presses his mouth to mine, the cold from the ice cream feels so strange but so good against my lips. He breaks away and he dips the spoon in the carton again and he lifts it up in front of my face. I stick my finger in the ice cream that's melting on the spoon and I lick it off my finger. Fitz then tosses the spoon down on the counter and grabs my hand, pulling my finger out of my mouth and putting it in his own mouth. I groan, I don't know why this is getting me so hot but it is. He slowly pulls my finger out of his mouth and he moves in so that his mouth is hovering over mine but he won't press our lips together and instead he places kisses along my jaw.

He starts kissing down my body and lifts me up so that I am sitting on the counter. He slides my skirt up my legs and grabs for my underwear, tearing it off me in one quick motion. I unbutton his pants and I slide his zipper down and reach my hand into his boxers. He pushes my body closer to the edge of the counter and thrusts into me swiftly.

The ice cream is sitting on the island, probably melting, but I really don't care. My head is propped up against the cabinets behind me as Fitz pumps in and out of me all while running hot and wet kisses down my jaw and neck. My knuckles are white from gripping the counter. He is in total control and I absolutely love it, I've never enjoyed a man taking charge as much as I enjoy Fitz doing it. I finish fairly quickly and he comes soon after.

We both try to catch our breaths and his hands are running through my hair. We're just smiling at each other, it's not awkward and I don't want to run away, I'm comfortable.

Fitz helps me off the counter and without a word he grabs my hand and leads me upstairs and we get ready for bed.

We settle in for the night and while flipping through the channels I find Top Gun and we decide to just finish it.

I am nuzzled into his side and one of his arms is underneath me while the other is gently stroking my arm.

"I'm not used to this." I say quietly, breaking our comfortable silence.

"Sleeping with an old man?" Fitz jokes.

I laugh but answer seriously, "No, sleeping with anyone. I rarely stay the night, I've always hated it but with you I don't want to run away."

Fitz lifts my chin up and kisses me softly, "I'm glad you don't want to run away from me, but if you ever do just know I'll probably chase you."

I laugh but I reach up to pull his face back down to mine and kiss him again. He gently pulls me up his body and we begin the dance we're coming to know so well.


	16. Chapter 16

_"They were still in the happier stage of love. They were full of brave illusions about each other, tremendous illusions, so that the communion of self with self seemed to be on a plane where no other human relations mattered. They both seemed to have arrived there with an extraordinary innocence as though a series of pure accidents had driven them together, so many accidents that at last they were forced to conclude that they were for each other. They had arrived with clean hands, or so it seemed, after no traffic with the merely curious and clandestine."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

I wake up the next morning and notice that I'm draped over Fitz. I try to move off him and I notice that he's already awake.

"Sorry Fitz, you should have just shoved me off you."

"Shove a beautiful, naked woman off of me? Yes, that will never happen."

I smile and sit up so that my face is closer to his. "I don't want to get up. I don't want this day to be over. I don't want to go back to my apartment." I whine.

Fitz turns to face me, "I thought you were staying until tomorrow morning?"

I shake my head, "Fitz I can't do that. Abby thinks I'm in San Francisco and she'll never believe I woke up early enough tomorrow to get to work on time from SF. Plus I need to drop off my things and get my work clothes."

Fitz groans and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. "Livvy, you can't leave."

He nuzzles his face into my collarbone and I wrap my arms around his head, running my hands through his beautiful, silky curls.

"So I hate to be _that_ person—especially this early in the morning but—what exactly are we doing here? I mean, I know we said we were seeing where this was going and getting to know each other and I don't mean to be a buzz kill, I just need to know _what_ we are."

Fitz looks up at me, "I'd like it if you were my girlfriend, would you?"

I am now grinning like an idiot, "I'd like that too."

"So…I'm your boyfriend then?"

I laugh, "You're my boyfriend." I love the way that word comes off my tongue but at the same time it's a little funny to describe Fitz as my boyfriend. It seems like such a juvenile term and he is definitely not juvenile.

Fitz laughs, "That was the easiest "conversation" I've ever had."

"Me too." I say, softly kissing his lips.

"But we can't let anyone at work know that we are dating." I say with a sigh.

"I suppose you're right. It's probably for the best, at least for right now." Fitz suddenly lets out a huge groan, "I'm going to have to pretend like I haven't seen you naked, god that's going to be so hard."

I burst out laughing, I love that Fitz never fails to make me laugh.

He's smiling at me but he suddenly gets serious again, "I'm going to have to watch men hit on you and be unable to do anything about it, unable to tell them to back off because you're mine."

I reach down and intertwine my fingers with his, "I don't want anyone else. All you have to do is remember that, remember that I am yours and you are mine."

Fitz smiles at me, "Okay, I can try to do that." And he leans in to kiss me.

When he pulls away a moment later I look over at the clock on his bedside table and I am a little surprised at what I see next to it. I don't know why I haven't noticed it until now, I guess I just never paid any attention, but the little elephant I gave him for his birthday is sitting next to the clock.

"The elephant." I say quietly. "You put it next to your bed?"

He looks down at me and smiles, "Yeah, I told you it meant a lot to me."

I touch his face softly with my hand and run my fingers down his jaw. "Has it always been there?"

"Since the day you gave it to me."

I bite my lip, "So, all this time?"

Fitz runs his hand along my neck and collarbone. "All this time."

I lean in and kiss him lightly but his tongue finds it's way into my mouth and soon enough I'm lost in him once again.

Several hours later Fitz and I are sitting on his living room floor playing a card game and talking about anything and everything.

"Okay, how old were you when you had your first kiss?" I say, we've been trading stories all afternoon.

Fitz smiles, "Okay, I was thirteen and it was with Hayley Murray and it happened during this birthday party and we were playing seven minutes in heaven. It was a pretty decent first kiss. Now you tell me yours?"

I lean back on the chair and place my cards over my mouth for a moment while I think. "Well, I guess I'd have two stories. The first was when I was eight and my friend Wade Cohen was moving and he came to say goodbye and he gave me a necklace and then he kissed me. But sometimes people say that doesn't count so I guess my first real romantic kiss was when I was fifteen years old and I was spending the summer in the United Kingdom with a student group and one night we had gone to this play and stayed out late and we were standing in the streets of London and talking and Justin O'Neill, the guy I'd had a crush on the whole trip, he just grabbed my hand, pulled me toward him and kissed me. It was pretty great actually."

Fitz is staring at me, "Do you still have the necklace?"

I burst out laughing, "Would you be jealous if I did?"

He scrunches up his face in an absolutely adorable way, "Maybe."

"I actually did have it up until a couple years ago. I lost it studying abroad, I was wearing it and it must have broke somewhere in Thailand because it just disappeared."

"Do you still talk to either of them?"

"Occasionally, online and stuff like that but I haven't seen either of them in years. Do you still talk to Hayley?"

Fitz laughs, "I haven't seen or talked to her since middle school."

"That's kind of cold Fitzgerald, I mean ditching her after she was your first kiss. Not cool!" I try to say this seriously but I can't help but start to laugh.

Fitz just grins at me and shakes his head.

"All right, my turn. So when you went to Africa during your year off in between undergrad and grad school, what made you want to do that?"

"Well, I had planned on taking a year off in between undergrad and grad school anyway and as my final semester ended I just realized that I would go insane if I had to go back to LA. I mean, the whole point of me taking the year off was to get experience and start writing all the time and just sort of hone my skills so that when I applied to school I would be completely ready. And I suddenly realized that nothing in LA was going to really inspire me, so my parents suggested I go stay with my Aunt and Uncle in Cape Town and I liked that idea so I just decided to move down there. I got a job as a tutor and I really enjoyed working with all the kids but that job was only for the summer months and that was when I got a call from my other Uncle who lives in Lusaka, Zambia asking me if I wanted to come up there and work for him. He's a doctor and he has an actual practice but he also runs a HIV/AIDS clinic and so I volunteered for the clinic and well, I guess you read about that if you read my portfolio."

Fitz grins at me, "I did and I think that was a very selfless thing to do."

I shake my head, "I don't know, I don't know if I really believe in selfless good deeds. I mean, you're always getting something out of it, aren't you? Yeah, I enjoyed helping the people at the clinic and I know they needed it but it also made me feel good about myself and it gave me good writing material. I don't know."

Fitz just sits there smiling at me for a moment, "I think that you don't give yourself enough credit. So what, you did a good thing because you wanted to, yeah it was a resume builder but there are a million other things that are resume builders. Maybe selfless people don't really exist but that doesn't mean there aren't good people out there and I believe that you are a good person."

I'm seated across from him on the floor, opposite the coffee table we are playing our card game at but I want to move closer to him so I set my cards down and I scoot over so that I am leaning against his arm. My arms are clutching his elbow and my head is resting against his strong shoulder.

"Thank you." I say quietly as Fitz moves his arm so that he can wrap it around me, pulling me closer into his chest.

"So I take it you fold." He says running his hand along my side and making my skin tingle.

"Yes, I'm hungry."

He turns his head toward me and he grins, leaning in for a quick kiss. "Mhh, so what are you hungry for?"

I push him away playfully and laugh, "I'm actually hungry, as in for real food." I say as I stand up and grab his hands so I am pulling him up with me.

Fitz groans, "All right, I guess we should probably eat some real food. What are you hungry for Ms. Pope?"

He leads us into the kitchen and opens up the refrigerator.

I spot some pasta in there and grab it, "Pasta, but this time I am cooking for you."

He gives me one of his rare and beautiful, thousand watt, Fitzgerald Grant grins. "I can handle that, but I'm making us a salad." And he leans in to kiss me and we both start to prepare our food and it's just…it's easy and it's never felt this way with anyone else.

A couple hours later Fitz and I have made our food and eaten it and we are now sitting on the amazing outdoor sofa on his patio and we are just talking.

I look at my watch for what must be the first time all day and it is almost 7 PM. "Crap, Fitz I really need to get going in the next hour or so."

He groans and reaches over to me and pulls me closer into his side. "Don't leave. Just stay here with me. We can call into work tomorrow; we'll just make something up. I don't know, my brain goes all goofy around you—especially when you wear pants like that—so I can't think of an excuse right now but I will. Just stay here, stay with me."

"Fitz, you have no idea how much I want to but you know we can't."

He sighs and leans in so our foreheads are touching, "I know. I'm sorry, I know I'm being irrational."

I smile up at him, "It's okay, I like that you want me to stay."

"So what do you want to do until you leave?"

I don't respond verbally and instead give him a wicked grin and grab his hand, pulling his body so that I am now lying back on the sofa and he is now positioned in between my legs. He pushes my knees up and he runs his hands down my thighs. He gently lays down over me, his pelvis meeting up with mine and I can feel his hardness through his jeans. He starts to kiss my lips and his hands roam all over my sides and all over my breasts and I am so intoxicated by his touch that I can barely breathe.

His hand is now dancing at the waistband of my pants and I groan when he finally pushes them down my body, taking my underwear with them. He sits up and pulls my pants off quickly and relieves himself of his own shirt. I lean forward and start to unbutton his pants and thankfully he takes over for my fumbling fingers and slides them off his body. He kisses his way up my stomach and pulls my shirt over my head before going right back down to my breasts with his talented mouth. He manages to take my bra off in one quick motion and I can't help but lean into him when he takes my breast in his mouth.

"Oh my god, Fitz." I moan. His hips are grinding into mine and I can feel him pulsating at my entrance and I can't wait.

I reach down to guide him into me and he moves so that he is sitting upright as he gently pushes himself into me. He moves his body over me once again and his lips cover mine as his body finds a rhythm that has me moaning and panting his name. He wraps his arms around my neck and he buries his face in my neck as he picks up his pace.

After a little bit he sits upright again and pulls me up with him so that he is sitting upright with his back against the sofa and I am now straddling him. I start to thrust and he matches my thrusts and his mouth is all over my neck and his hands are all over my body and I'm so over-stimulated and I can't take it any longer. I let go and I see Fitz grin, "Yes, Livvy, let go." I am thankful that a few minutes later he finds his own release because I don't know how long I could have taken it. I bury my head in his neck and he is running his hands up and down my back and holding me close to him.

I sit up a little bit and run my hands over his chest and his arms, he is incredibly fit.

He leans his head back on the sofa and brings his hands up and runs his hands through my hair. "I like waking up to you. I'm going to miss it tomorrow."

I look at him and run my hands through his soft hair, "Me too."

He pulls me in for a kiss, "I don't think I'm going to be able to go another week without you."

I laugh, "You won't be without me, we work together silly."

Fitz rolls his eyes and wraps his arms around me as he pulls us both down so that we are lying on the sofa. "Don't get smart with me Pope, it's not cute." He says, attempting to be serious.

But I just start to laugh, "Yes it is."

He smiles and pulls me flush against his body, "You're right."

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer and I'm slightly surprised when his hand finds its way between my thighs again.

I squeeze them tightly together but it just makes him laugh, "Fitz stop, you are going to get me all hot and bothered again."

Now he's kissing my neck again, "That was my plan."

He turns me so that I am flat on my back and start to kiss his way down my body until his mouth lands in between my legs.

"Oh god." I moan as he goes to work, "Fitz…I…" and I can't even finish my sentence because all coherent thoughts have left my brain.

A little while later we are cuddled together underneath a throw blanket and although it's almost time for me to leave, I just can't move.

"Fitz, I should get going." I say quietly.

"Okay." He responds and yet makes no effort to remove his arms from around my body.

I laugh and wiggle my way out of his grasp, "Fitz, I'm serious. You have to move and you also have to get up and put your clothes on because I'm pretty sure you aren't going to sleep out here all night, buck naked under the stars."

He props his head up on his hand and he looks at me, his beautiful blue eyes are burning with desire and I can feel it all rising within me once again. "I'd do it if you stayed."

I laugh as I grab my clothing from the ground and put it back on. "Maybe another weekend."

Now he sits up and he grabs for his pants on the ground. "So you'll come back next weekend then?"

I pull my shirt over my head and stand in front of him, running my hands through his hair as he runs his hands along my backside and thighs. "I'd like to but my roommate would be very suspicious of me if I disappeared again. Plus I promised her that we would have a girls night out as penance for ditching her this weekend."

Fitz's body stiffens up at the mention of 'girls night' and he abruptly stands up. "Girls night out as in dressing in scantily clad outfits, going to bars and getting wasted, random creeps buying you drinks and checking you out, _that_ kind of girls night?"

I start to laugh, "Well, you don't make it sound too appealing but add a little karaoke in there and that's pretty much what happens."

But Fitz doesn't find it amusing. "No. That's not going to happen."

"Excuse me?" I'm completely confused by the direction this conversation has taken.

Fitz picks his shirt off the floor and puts it back on but takes a step away from me. He crosses his arms and looks at me like he's deadly serious, "I'll buy you tickets to a play or a concert or something else that doesn't involve sweaty boys leering at you and clouding your judgment as they buy you alcohol."

I'm kind of shocked at his reaction to this but I'm also kind of pissed. "First of all, you do not get to tell me what I can and cannot do, second of all thank you so much for assuming that a few alcoholic beverages turn me into a whore."

"That's not what I meant." Fitz growls, his arms still crossed at his chest as he stares stoically at me.

"Well then please enlighten me as to what you meant by that because all I heard was 'Olivia I don't trust you to not whore around.' If you think that little of me why do you even want me?"

He looks hurt now, like I've just struck a chord somewhere. And then I remember—he got divorced because his wife cheated on him.

"Oh my god, Fitz, I'm so sorry. I didn't…I didn't mean that I just…I'm…god I'm sorry." I plead, taking a step forward so I am a little closer to him but I'm also too afraid to step any closer because I'm scared he's going to reject me.

He shakes his head, "It's not your fault. Don't apologize. You haven't done anything wrong. I do trust you and it's unfair of me to project my insecurities onto you like that, especially when you've never given me a reason not to trust you."

I take a step closer to him and I am relieved when he doesn't reject my touch. I wrap my arms around his torso and he wraps his around mine and I rest my head against his chest. "I will wear pants, a top that doesn't show a lot of skin and I will be the designated driver, does that make you feel a little better?"

I hear him chuckle quietly in my ear, "It does, thank you. I do trust you though; sometimes I just let my insecurities get the best of me."

"It's okay, Fitz. Just remember that I don't want anyone else, I want you."

He kisses the top of my head, "Thank you, Livvy."

After a few moments I reluctantly pull away, "Will you help me put my things into my car?"

He grins and grabs my hand, "Of course I will."

An hour later I walk into my apartment to find Abby sitting in the kitchen reading a book. I try to suppress a groan as I pick up my suitcase once again and drag it to my room quickly before heading back to the kitchen to greet Abby. I'm starting to feel so sore between my legs that walking properly is going to be a real struggle come tomorrow.

I gingerly sit down on the chair across from her and greet her as cheerfully as I can manage. "Hey. Abs, how was your weekend?"

She holds up a finger indicating she needs one minute to finish the page she's on.

I roll my eyes and laugh quietly; Abby and I are the same in that when we get focused on a book it's incredibly hard for us to tear ourselves away.

A moment later she looks up and shuts the book. "Sorry, I had to finish the chapter." She gives me her guilty look and I just laugh, "Don't worry about it. How was your weekend?"

She shrugs, "I painted a bit and went out with Quinn. I think I might still be hung over. I've been reading all day. How was your weekend with Victoria?" When she asks how my weekend was I spot a weird glimmer in her eye like she's hiding something.

I give her a confused look before I start to speak, "Oh you know, it was fun. We just hung out. We went hiking and did some shopping, the usual."

Now she's grinning at me like a damn Cheshire cat and I'm completely confused.

"So you didn't go to a Lady Antebellum concert?" She asks.

I frown, "Um, why do you ask?" Shit, I think she knows I wasn't with Victoria over the weekend, but how the hell would she know?

"You sure because Victoria posted this instagram update last night, "Lady A with girls", she narrates as she shows me the picture on her phone.

"Fuck, when did you get instagram?" I ask, shit, the one thing I can always count on with Abby is her total aversion to any social media sites.

She shrugs, "Oh, just Friday night after I got back home after the show. I thought it would be a good idea to post my artwork there."

I scramble to find a legitimate excuse. "Um, I was taking the picture?" I venture, knowing full well she's not going to believe me.

"Bullshit." She says with a laugh. "You weren't with Victoria were you?" She is still grinning like a madman.

I jump up out of my chair, forgetting how sore I am, and I can't hide the wince as I stand up straight.

Abby jumps out of her chair in excitement when she catches my wince. "Oh my god, you're fucking someone!"

Her eyes light up, "Oh my god, are you fucking Harrison? I KNEW he wanted to fuck you!"

"No! Oh my god eww, he's like my brother!" I yell, a little too forcefully.

She stares at me silently for a moment and then her eyes light up with that same glow they had a moment before. "Holy shit. You're fucking your boss."

I don't know how to react to this, she's totally right, and for some reason I can't bring myself to lie to her. I'm not sure if it's because she's my best friend and I feel guilty lying or because I'm kind of relieved because I really want to talk to someone about what's going on with me and Fitz.

I can't respond, all I can do is stare at her helplessly. Abby is grinning wildly at me and I know she understands that my silence is her confirmation.

"I made Malibu popsicles over the weekend, I think we need these and then you are going to tell me everything." She says, grabbing the alcoholic popsicles from the fridge and handing one to me.

I take the popsicle and I nod my head. We head over to my room and lie down on the bed; this is how Abby and I have always had deep conversations since our sophomore year of college.

I slowly lower myself on the bed, even my abs hurt from this weekend.

Abby laughs at me, "So how much sex did you have this weekend."

My head hits the pillow and I sigh in relief, "A lot. A lot of sex in a lot of different places."

"Damn. Honestly I'm pretty jealous of you right now. How the heck did this start?"

I exhale deeply, "Quasar Con."

Abby sits up, "Are you fucking serious?! I knew he was looking at you awfully strange for someone who is just your boss."

I laugh, "Yeah, it started the last night of Quasar Con." I say with a smile.

Abby lets out an extremely loud laugh, "Jesus Christ, Liv, only you can get manage to get San Jose's most eligible bachelor to fuck you at the nerdiest event on earth."

I laugh at her comment; I didn't even think about how nerdy I must have looked to him, obviously he liked that though.

Once she stops laughing she speaks again, "So, is he good?"

"Abby!" I shout, almost dropping what's left of my popsicle on my bed.

"Oh, come on, we always tell each other about this stuff. You know you want to." She has turned to face me while she speaks; I turn my head a little bit and roll my eyes at her pleading.

I turn my head to look back up at the ceiling and I start to grin. "He's the best I've ever been with. I mean, the man knows his way around a female body. And he doesn't just _visit_ your…downstairs…with his mouth, he sets up camp there and doesn't leave until you're finished." I'm blushing a little bit as I speak because I'm imagining Fitz's head between my legs and it's getting me a little excited.

Abby sits up, "He goes down on you every time you fuck?" She looks like she's in shock.

I laugh at her baffled expression, "Not every time, but most of the time."

She lies back down, "Holy balls, I thought that was an urban legend."

I laugh again; it's nice to be able to talk to Abby about this.

She turns over to me again, "Do you have feelings for him or is it just sex?" She's deadly serious now, Abby sat by my bed for three days while I cried about Huck so she knows how badly I can spiral when bad things happen and she's very protective of me.

I have finished my popsicle so I set the stick down on my bedside table and I turn my body so I am facing her. "I really like him, Abby." I say, completely stoic and serious.

"Does he know that?" She asks, I can see that she's nervous by her facial expression.

I nod, smiling, "He does, we talked about it this weekend. He was actually the one who initiated the conversation."

Abby smiles, "That's good. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are."

I smile back at her; I know she's referencing Jake. Abby has always resented the fact that he tried to "fix" me.

I pull out my phone and flip to the pictures of us on the hike.

She looks at them and her eyes are wide when she looks back at me, "You look happier than I've seen you look in a very long time."

She looks down at the picture again, "I don't know him very well but he looks really happy too. You kind of look like two fools in love."

I tense up as I grab my phone back from her and Abby notices and laughs, "Sorry, I didn't mean to use the "L" word, I know how weird you are about it."

Abby is referring to the fact that while I've talked about being in love with people I've never actually said the words 'I love you' to any of my past relationships. Jake used to tell me he loved me and I used to respond 'me too' but I've never actually said those three little words to anyone other than family members and my best friends.

It's like Abby reads my mind. "Have you officially ended it with Jake?"

I frown, "No, I was going to do it last weekend but I really want to officially end it in person. I mean, I'm not cheating, we are not together, we said we were taking a break so we could see other people and figure out who we are outside of each other."

"I know, sweetie. I know you're not cheating." Abby says, grabbing my hand and reassuring me.

I smile at her; it's nice to have a friend who is always on your side.

"I think it's a good idea to talk to him in person, I mean you have a hard enough time getting through to him then, it would be nearly impossible on the phone." She says, rolling her eyes.

I laugh, she's completely right, calling Jake would help nothing in this situation, he's too stubborn to listen.

Abby gets up, "All right, sweetie. I need to head to bed, you should too, wouldn't want to make your boss angry." She says with a wink.

I laugh, "Goodnight, Abby. I love you."

"I love you too, nerd."


	17. Chapter 17

_"How I feel is that if I wanted anything I'd take it. That's what I've always thought all my life. But it happens that I want you, and so I just haven't room for any other desires."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned_

* * *

I walk into the office Monday morning and I'm extremely uncomfortable. I'm wearing a skirt because it seems to be more comforting and I'm suffering through my high heels because I know people would think it was odd if I wasn't wearing them. I manage a few quick 'hellos' and 'how are yous' to the several co-workers I pass and then collapse in my office chair the minute I walk in. My thighs have never hurt this much in my life. A couple minutes later I hear a soft knock at my door and I smile because I know its Fitz. He pokes his head in the door and his thousand-watt smile lights up when he sees me.

"Good morning, beautiful." He says, entering in the office and shutting the door. Before he sits down he checks to see if the main door is shut and then makes his way over to me. He sits himself down on top of my desk and he just sits there, grinning at me.

I manage a somewhat peppy looking smile at him, "Good morning." I'm so tired, for some reason I just couldn't get to sleep last night.

I notice that he looks tired too. "Did you sleep well?" I ask.

He frowns and pulls my chair closer to him with his foot, making me giggle, "No, I slept terribly. I couldn't get comfortable without you there."

His statement makes me blush and it's only heightened when I realize that the reason I couldn't sleep probably has something to do with the fact that he wasn't there either.

I smile at him, "I think that was my problem too."

This makes him smile back at me. He then stands up and grabs my hands, pulling me out of my chair. I wince at the pressure put on my thighs.

He steps back, looking alarmed. "Livvy, what the hell was that? Are you all right?" He looks very concerned.

I grin wickedly, "_That_, is because my thighs are blasted from trying to play sex catch up after six months of celibacy."

His look of concern quickly changes into a look of animal pride.

"Since that's my fault I would be happy to give you a massage." He says, his eyes gleaming with trouble and his hands roaming down my backside and pushing me closer to him.

I can feel all the blood rushing to my core and I move to take a step backward but instead I find myself being turned around and scooted onto my desk. Fitz runs one hand through my hair and starts to kiss me. I know we shouldn't be doing this at work but right now I don't really care because his mouth is so damn talented. His other hand has somehow managed to push my skirt up to my thighs and is now venturing further up my skirt. It caresses the inside of both my thighs and then he moves upward along my hip and grabs at the waistband of my panties.

I reluctantly pull my lips away from his and move to his jaw and start placing light kisses there, in between them I say, "Honestly, I'd love for you to take me right here on my desk but I really don't think this is the right time for that.

He groans and the hand that was playing on the hemline of my underwear slowly makes its way back down my thigh and resurfaces outside of my skirt as Fitz pulls away.

He leans into me so that our foreheads are touching, "Will you come over tonight?" He asks quietly.

I look into his eyes and give him a genuine smile. "I'd really like to but I have a couple things to do around my apartment that I've been putting off for the past couple weeks."

He gives me a childlike pout and I start to laugh at him.

I take his face in my hands and run my fingers down his smooth face. "You could come over to my apartment if you wanted to?"

He gives me a confused look, "What about your roommate?"

"She doesn't get home until around nine or ten on Monday's because her gallery goes through the submissions they receive on Monday's and redo their exhibits. Plus she knows what's going on with us." I say, concentrating hard on Fitz's face when I say the last part of that sentence because I'm not sure how he's going to react.

He furrows his brow as he contemplates what I've just said, "How does she feel about this?" I'm a little surprised at his question; I thought for sure he was going to ask me how she found out.

I give him a small smile, "She's happy for us as long as you don't hurt me."

This makes Fitz grin and he pulls me in for one more kiss. "Okay, your place it is."

That minute the door to my office opens and Harrison barges in, Fitz abruptly takes a step backward and puts his hands in his pockets and my hands immediately fly to my skirt and make sure it's straightened properly.

"Morning Liv." He says brightly before he notices Fitz. "Fitz, hey boss."

Fitz and I both say good morning to Harrison and he gives us a strange look. Fitz takes this opportunity to excuse himself and walks back into his office.

Harrison watches Fitz leave and then turns around to look at me, "Are you guys okay? He looked kind of pissed."

I sigh in relief that Harrison is reading this situation completely wrong. "Um, yeah he's just frustrated, it was nothing." I say with a smile.

Thankfully Harrison just brushes it off and plops himself down in a chair and starts to talk to me about the account he's currently working on.

A little while later I'm working by myself and I realize it's lunchtime. I pop my head into Fitz's office and see that he's working diligently at his desk.

"Hi." I say shyly.

He notices me in the doorway and his mouth forms a huge smile as he sees me. "Hi." He says.

"So…I was going to go to lunch and…yeah that's actually all I was going to say."

Fitz gets up from his desk and laughs at me.

"Well, Ms. Pope I think I am going to go to lunch as well."

"Okay." I say with a smile and we walk out of the office and down to the break area where the lunch cart is already making the rounds.

We are standing in line and Fitz orders while I am still deciding on what to get and he goes to sit down. I order and go to pay for my food but the cashier tells me it's taken care of.

I am a little confused but I turn around and see Fitz sitting at a table on the open patio and laughing along with a few other employees—one of whom is Lauren—and I know he's paid for my food.

I head over there and sit down at the table, of course the only open seat is right next to Fitz. I sit down slowly but make sure to not show any emotion on my face regarding my sore thighs because I do not want anyone asking me any questions.

He turns to me and smiles as he continues talking about whatever they were all talking about before.

I sit back in the chair and just watch as Fitz interacts with his employees. He's laughing and joking and everyone feels comfortable around him. Everyone in the office looks at Fitz with admiration and it's not hard to understand why, Fitz is definitely the kind of guy anyone would aspire to be.

I am brought out of my daze by an elbow to my shoulder, it's Lauren, "Earth to Liv, are you there?"

I look over at her, "What? Sorry, I just spaced."

Lauren is looking at me like she doesn't believe me, "All right, you are coming to my office after lunch is over."

We finish up and Lauren drags me back to her office under the guise of showing me a mock up for a client. We get to her office and luckily everyone else is still at lunch or doing other things because we are alone.

"All right, what's going on with you? I can't get a read off you, you look happy but at the same time you look annoyed. You are confusing me."

I laugh, "I'm fine, really it's nothing."

Lauren starts to laugh, "Okay, you are MIA all weekend, you don't answer any calls or texts and you are totally absent from all social media, then you show up at work this morning looking weirdly happy and then you get weird and quiet. Something is going on with you, don't lie."

Her eyes get wide, "Did something happen with Fitz?" She whispers.

"Lauren…" I plead.

She steps forward and braces her arms on my shoulders. "Liv, talk to me."

I look up at her, I really want to tell her but I know I can't. "Lauren...I can't, not here."

She nods her head in understanding, "Okay. It's okay Liv. But I do need to know one thing, are _you_ okay?"

I clasp my hands over her elbows, "Trust me, I'm _very_ okay. I'm just trying to figure this all out."

"Later." Lauren says as she nods her head and then turns around so we can get back to work.

A little while later I am walking down the hallway to my office when I hear Fitz call my name and tell me to wait for him. He finishes talking to the person he is with quickly and then he comes over to where I am waiting for him.

He smiles at me and we begin to walk back to our offices together and I feel his hand creep up and lightly touch the small of my back as we walk.

I take a few quick steps so that his hand drops away and I walk briskly into my office and he follows me.

"Livvy, what was that?"

I stand on the opposite side of the desk from him and I cross my arms over my chest. "Fitz, you can't do that at work. You can't buy my lunch you can't touch me for no reason, it's suspicious."

He laughs and makes his way over to me but I step behind the chair so that he can't get any closer.

Of course that doesn't even stop him and he just slips behind me and wraps his hands around me.

I attempt to escape him but he pulls me back and his hands start to wander over my body as his mouth finds my neck.

One hand reaches up to cup my breast and the other is splayed over my stomach and I'm starting to feel things I should not be feeling at work.

The hand on my stomach slowly inches toward my pelvis and I'm sure there's just heat radiating from his hand because my legs are getting wobbly and my breathing is starting to get shallow.

"Fitz, please stop. We cannot do this at work."

Thankfully this time he stops and pulls back.

I catch my breath and I turn around, placing my hands on Fitz's chest so that I can hold him at arms length.

"Fitz, please you cannot do this at work. We decided that we weren't going to tell anyone and you feeling me up in my office is just asking for someone to barge in on us."

Fitz sighs, "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm going to do better, I promise. I'm going to go into my office and I'm going to keep my hands to myself for the rest of the work day."

I laugh as he holds up his hands in surrender. "Thank you." I say, watching him walk toward his office door.

"I can still come over tonight though, right?"

I laugh, "Of course you can. 'Hands off' only applies to work or work-related events."

The rest of the day Fitz behaves and after work he heads back to his house to get his overnight things and I head out to the grocery store so I have food for dinner.

I get home and quickly throw together a pasta salad before Fitz arrives and I start heading to my bathroom so I can change my clothes but before I even get out of the kitchen I hear a knock at the door.

I groan, I wanted to put something cute on before Fitz got here. I turn around and walk back toward the door and open it to Fitz and his gorgeous smiling face.

"Hi", he says and I am kind of in shock that he's actually standing in my doorway.

"Hi" I say back, running my hands through my hair and hoping I look decent.

He didn't change his clothes either; he is still wearing his suit and tie from today at work so that makes me feel a little better.

"So do I get to come in?"

"Oh, um yeah sorry. Come on inside." I say, ushering him into the kitchen.

"Are you going to give me a tour?" He asks, a devious grin forming on his face.

I shoot him a confused look, "You've seen my apartment before."

"Just barely, I want the full tour."

I roll my eyes, "Well, it's nothing compared to your Los Gatos hillside Spanish palace."

He laughs, "I don't care, I want the tour."

"Okay, well this is the kitchen. Not much happens here." We walk into the living room.

"This is our living room, pretty basic, um," I lead him into the hallway, "Abby's room is to the right and this room is the bathroom. It's pretty small but we have a decent shower. And then to the left is my room."

"Can I see it?" He asks suggestively.

I don't answer; I just walk into the room and wait for him to follow me.

I grab his hand and take his bag off his shoulder and set it on the floor next to my bed. He starts to walk around my room and assesses everything. He gets to my desk and sees the elephant that is the mirror image of his own except that it's purple instead of blue. He touches the elephant lightly and I see his cheeks rise as he smiles.

"I like your room. It's very understated, very you."

I take a few steps toward him, "Thank you and thanks for being so cool about coming here. I know it's probably not exactly where you'd like to spend your time but I appreciate you being here."

"Any place I get to be with you is okay with me. And why wouldn't I want to be here? I like being in apartments, it reminds me of college, makes me feel young again."

I roll my eyes, "You are always commenting about how old you are and I realize that you are seventeen years older than me and that is fairly significant but you aren't that old. I mean forty-three for a guy is like being thirty-three if you're a girl."

Fitz laughs, "What?"

"Yeah, you know like some people think women who are in their thirties and aren't married are either crazy or they are lesbians but if a man is in his forties and not married people just think he's taking his time or waiting for the right person or getting a solid career. It's a bullshit double standard."

Fitz is now cracking up, "What people think that?"

"People! Not all people obviously, but even with me, I swear when I turned twenty-five everyone started asking about when I was getting engaged. It made me so angry."

"You don't want to get married?" Fitz asks, his voice is jovial but his eyes are serious.

Crap, I walked myself right into that question.

"No, I mean yeah I do eventually but I'm not ready right now. I want to get my career started and I want to be able to support myself. I need to be able to be independent before I get married, I would hate to marry someone and then one day realize I only did it because I was dependent on that person."

Fitz gives me a small smile and puts his hands in his pockets but continues to look me in the eyes. "Olivia Pope doesn't need a knight in shining armor."

I smile, "I just never felt like the girl the guy got at the end of the movie."

He is just staring at me now with a knowing smile on his face and it's making my cheeks feel warm. I avert my eyes and I stare at my feet, suddenly I'm very aware of how short I feel next to him without my heels on.

"Um, so what about you, do you ever want to get remarried?"

He sighs, "I really do. At least now I do, for a while there—when my divorce was still fresh—I was angry and I thought I'd never want to do it again but as I learned to let go of my anger about it I realized that I did want to do it again but I also was going to make damn sure that the next time I did it that it was going to last."

"Why did you get married?" I blurt out; my mouth seems to be disconnected from my brain because while I want to know, I don't really think that was an appropriate question. "Fitz, I…I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. Let's just…let's go eat." I say, scurrying out of the room.

Fitz follows me out of the room and grabs my hand, pulling me over to the sofa and sitting us both down on the sofa. He places one hand on my knee and the other is on my neck, turning my head so that I am looking at him.

He smiles at me and I feel slightly reassured.

"Hey, don't apologize. You're my girlfriend; you get to know these things. I _want_ you to know these things. Don't ever be afraid to ask me anything about my past." His thumb strokes my cheek as he speaks and the motion along with his words quells my fear.

I nod my head and give him a small smile and place my hand over the wrist of his hand that is on my cheek.

He leans back into the sofa and he pulls me back with him. I am still wearing my skirt and blouse from work so I'm not going to be able to get too comfortable. But it's like Fitz reads my mind and he grabs my legs and swings them over his lap and hooks his arm around my waist so that his arm is now my backrest.

I grin up at him and drape my arm around his torso, casually sliding my hand under his suit jacket and I softly start to trace my fingers over his abs.

Once we've settled in he repeats my question, "Why did I get married? Well, we were college sweethearts and I thought I was in love with her. That's the short version I guess."

He takes a deep breath and then he continues talking. "The long version is that we were college sweethearts, we met freshman year and we had an on and off relationship but she stuck by me while I was in the Navy and she was supportive of me when I took that journalism job where I'd have to be traveling around Africa. Then when my father died and I moved back and I took over the company I just felt like it was what I was supposed to do. She stuck by me so I should do the right thing and marry her. I think neither of us realized how profoundly different we were from when we met ten years earlier. And it took three years of marriage for us to realize that we weren't in love with each other."

"Do you regret it?" I ask quietly.

He takes a moment before he responds, "No, I don't regret it. I learned from it and I guess I just want to believe that if that had never happened to me I might not be where I am today."

He looks down at me and runs a hand along my cheek so I am looking up at him. "And then maybe I would never have met you."

I can feel the blush creep up on my cheeks and Fitz brings his lips down to mine and he begins to kiss me. I reach my hands up and grab his face, running my fingers through his hair.

His one arm is still wrapped around my torso supporting my back but his free hand is busy making surprisingly quick work with the buttons on my blouse. He gently moves me so I am lying down on the sofa and now that he has my blouse mostly unbuttoned his hand goes to the hemline of my skirt and starts to find its way up my thigh.

I hate to ruin the moment but I suddenly realize that I have to pee.

I push him up and off of me and he looks very confused.

"Sorry, I really have to pee."

He laughs and lets me get up and I run to the bathroom to relieve myself. I fix my skirt and straighten my blouse in the mirror and then realize that was silly because they're just going to get messed up again.

When I open the door Fitz startles me a little bit because he's standing right in the doorway. Before I can say anything his mouth is on mine and he's pressing me up against the sink.

"You have no idea how badly I've been longing to do this for the entire day." He purrs into my ear as his mouth makes its way down my neck.

I slide his jacket off his shoulders and he deposits it on the floor. I start to undo his belt and his pants and his mouth is now on my collarbone and I cannot contain my moans of pleasure.

He pulls away and he turns me around, his hand is around my neck, turning my face so that our lips can meet once again while his other hand reaches down and pulls my skirt up and around my waist. Then with one firm yank he tears my underwear off and tosses it somewhere on the floor.

He grabs my hips and he positions himself at my entrance and slowly enters me and I reach my hand back and realize that his pants are still up and only just unbuttoned because apparently we can't be bothered to slow down enough to properly take our clothes off. I'm bent against the sink, my hands gripping the countertop as I use it to steady myself from Fitz's thrusts behind me. His chest is pressed hard against my back while one of his hands cups one of my breasts and the other is splayed between on my lower abdomen keeping me on pace with his rhythm. His mouth is moving along the back of my neck and to my earlobe when the pressure becomes too much and I let go, screaming out his name in the process. In a few more pumps he lets go of himself and we both collapse to the floor. We lay quietly on my bathroom rug for a few minutes, catching our breath before we speak. I turn around to face him and see that his tie is still on. I bring my hands up to his neck and start to untie it and in that moment our eyes lock. We probably look ridiculous, he's still in his tie, his belt is still on his pants and they are just hanging open by the zipper. My skirt is still pushed up around my waist and my ripped underwear is somewhere around here, my own oxford shirt is still on but unbuttoned so that my breasts are practically falling out of it. Even though this would look like a strange sight to anyone else, all I can focus on is how handsome Fitz looks. He looks his age, but not in a bad way, in a way that makes him defined and sophisticated. He has tiny wrinkles around his eyes that give him a serious look and the depth I see in his eyes makes me know he has seen a lot in his life. I love to stare at him like this but it makes me nervous when he stares back, I'm so much younger than him that I'm afraid he'll one day look at me and realize how dreadfully little I've experienced in my life and realize that I'm just not good enough for him.

In that instant, he grabs the collar of my oxford shirt and pulls me over to him, covering my lips with his own and without realizing it, quelling my fears for the time being.

"We should probably go eat." He says referring to the pasta salad I told him I stuck in the refrigerator about forty minutes ago before we got distracted.

I smile at him and move one hand upward to caress his face. "I need to change first."

He nods in agreement, "Me too."

We reluctantly get up off the floor and head to my bedroom. He grabs a few things from the duffle he's brought with him and heads back into the bathroom and I start to rummage through my drawers for something to wear.

Ten minutes later I've found the skimpiest spandex shorts I own and throw on a loose fitting sweater and I waltz out into the kitchen. Fitz finished changing before me and has the pasta salad sitting on the table that he's already set.

He looks up at me when I walk in, "You have got to be kidding me." He says, dead serious, as he can't keep his eyes off me.

I walk to the cabinet to grab two glasses and I grin to myself. Before I can reach up to get the glasses I can feel his body close behind me, his hands start on my hips and then work their way up to my breasts, he takes them in his hands and he groans as he feels my bralessness through the thin fabric and starts to rub his hands along my nipples making them taunt and causing me to lean back into his chest. His hands then make their way back down my body and stop at my hips, right along the waistline of my shorts. His hands dance around my waistline for a moment before plunging into my shorts, one hand heading for my center and the other making its way around to my backside. The hand in back cups my backside while the hand in front lightly hovers over my center until he abruptly withdraws his hands from my body.

I turn around, frowning at him as he moves to the sink to wash his hands and gives me a wicked grin, "It's time to eat."

I scowl at him; even though I know he's right, and head to the refrigerator to grab ice cubes and the tea I bought earlier.

We sit down and eat our food while making small talk about our days. It's about 9:30 and I'm getting sleepy but I don't want to go to bed just yet.

We clean up the dishes and then head into the living room. Fitz looks really sexy in his pajama pants and t-shirt and I really just want to cuddle with him.

I flip on the tv and we find a random show to watch.

After a little while Abby arrives home. I hear the key turn in the lock and a few minutes later she comes into the apartment, dramatically dropping a few bags on the floor.

It's clear she doesn't know Fitz is here because she starts talking to me like I'm alone.

"Oh my god, Liv I had such a terrible day. I almost shattered this stupid sculpture because the lines from the ceiling weren't properly attached, then I spilled paint all over my tan suede pumps, and then somehow I managed to snag my brand new sweater on something. And to top it off Jake won't stop sending me texts about you." That's when I freeze and pray that Fitz isn't listening closely to what she's saying.

She continues, "Can you please just text him to confirm to him that you're alive? He's driving me fucking crazy. Seriously Liv this day is just…" And that's when Abby walks into the den and notices Fitz and I lying on the sofa together.

She gets a devious grin on her face, "Well, well Liv, bringing work home with you now?"

I roll my eyes, "Hey Abby."

"Liv. Hey Fitz, how are you?" Abby says, a little too sweetly so that it's almost creepy.

"I'm well, how are you Abby? It's nice to see you again."

She smiles, "You too and thanks, I'm beat. So Fitz, you realize how awesome this girl is, don't you?" She says as she plops herself down in the armchair next to where we are sitting on the sofa.

"Abby." I hiss, "Stop it."

Fitz just laughs, "No, Liv it's okay. Abby is your best friend; she's allowed to ask that. And yes, I do know how amazing Liv is and I know that I am an incredibly lucky man."

Abby smiles, "Good. Now I like you just fine. All right, I'm starving." She says, getting out of the chair and heading into the kitchen.

"There's pasta salad in the fridge." I yell after her.

Fitz gives me a confused look, "That was it? I thought for sure I was in for a long interrogation."

I shrug, "Yeah, she's pretty good at telling when people are sincere or not and she trusts me. We've been best friends for a long time."

Fitz kisses me on the temple and then I hear him try to suppress a big yawn.

I look at the clock and see it's about 10. "Come on old man, let's go to bed."

I stand up and grab his hand and he's just laughing at me. "Oh Ms. Pope, I am going to get you back for that comment."

We start to walk back into my bedroom and I hear Abby shout from the kitchen, "Remember we have _very_ thin walls!"

I start to laugh and yell back, "Oh calm down, there's a bathroom between our bedrooms!"

I hear her snort, "Yeah but Liv, we roomed together for four years of college, I _know_ how loud you can get."

My face is red hot from Abby's comment as we walk into my room and I close the door behind us.

Fitz moves to sit on my bed and he crosses his arms. "So is Jake your ex-boyfriend?"

Crap, I was really hoping he wasn't paying attention to Abby earlier.

"Um, yeah he is." I say, trying to brush it off and walking over to my dresser to grab a hair tie.

"And he's still in love with you." His voice sounds a little like he's going to be sick when he says that.

"I…I guess. I mean, it's more complicated than that. It's like you said with your ex-wife, you thought you were in love with her but you realized that you were different people and that's what happened with him only I realized that we weren't compatible anymore and he still hasn't realized that or he has and he just doesn't want to accept that we're not the same people we were in college."

I hesitate before I take a step toward him, "Fitz, I swear, it's not a big deal. We've been friends for a long time; it's just hard to navigate. There is nothing between us, I'm not in love with him."

He reaches his hands out and pulls me forward so that I'm standing between his legs. "Okay, I trust you." He says, running his hands over my hips in a soothing manner.

We brush our teeth and get ourselves ready for bed and I rummage through my drawers looking for some pajama shorts and I remember why I needed to come home tonight.

"Dammit Fitz, I needed to come home so I could do some laundry and you distracted me and now I have no clean pj's!" I exclaim.

Fitz just laughs and bends down to dig through his duffle. He pulls out a pair of briefs and a Berkeley t-shirt and tosses them over to me. "This is a little sad that this is your house and I am the one giving you clothing."

"Well I could have found something to wear. I just am all out of pajamas." I retort.

"Okay then, you don't have to wear my clothes." He says, reaching out to grab them out of my hands.

"No, I want to." I say, sticking my tongue out at him and clutching the clothing to my chest.

Fitz laughs, "Put your pajamas on you goof."

I get out of my own clothes and I put on Fitz's, I laugh because I have to secure the briefs with a hair tie so they don't fall off.

I turn around to get into bed and see that Fitz is standing there and waiting for me. He has taken his t-shirt off and is just wearing his pajama pants.

He starts to laugh at me, "Very sexy, Livvy. So…do you have a specific side of the bed you prefer to sleep on?"

I shrug my shoulders, "Actually I'm kind of a middle of the bed girl."

"Well, I deduced that from our weekend together." He teases.

"Did you just call me a bed hog?" I feign offense as I start to pull the covers back.

Fitz starts to help me, "Yes, I definitely called you a bed hog."

I get in bed and I pretend to be offended by turning my back to Fitz and scooting myself over to the very edge of the bed.

"Well fine then, I will stay on my side of the bed tonight."

A moment later I feel his large hand grab my middle and pull me toward him.

I laugh and feign protest, "Fitz, stop!"

He kisses my neck and he wraps both arms around me so our bodies are flush against each other.

"I don't mind that you're a bed hog. I like to think that it's just you wanting to be closer to me."

I smile to myself and I close my eyes, relaxing in the comfort of his body as I fall asleep. I'd never admit it out loud, but Fitz is probably right.


	18. Chapter 18

_"It's not life that's complicated, it's the struggle to guide and control life."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side Of Paradise_

* * *

Fitz and I have managed to find a rhythm at work, from nine to five we are just co-workers. We don't touch teach other, we don't talk about anything that isn't work related, and we definitely keep our lips to ourselves. It's difficult but it's necessary, that's not saying we don't slip up from time to time, but mostly we are making this work. It's now been one month since Quasar Con and we have slipped into an easy routine. We spend at least every other night together and most of our time on the weekends. This Friday night we have ordered take-out and we are lounging on his sofa watching a movie.

All of a sudden Fitz speaks up, "I forgot to tell you I sent your resume to a friend up in San Francisco. I know you want to work for Cyrus but I thought that in the meantime it might be good even to just get an interview somewhere."

I freeze right where I am, "Why would you do that?"

He turns to face me on the sofa, "Well, I want you to have what you want and you want to be a journalist." He looks confused by my reaction.

I sit upright on the sofa, "Do you want me to leave?"

"What? Why would you even say that?"

"Well because you're trying to get me a job in San Francisco." I'm starting to get upset.

Fitz sits upright as well and reaches out to grab my arm but I pull away.

He starts to laugh, "Livvy, why are you being so weird about this? You didn't mind when I gave your resume to Cyrus."

"Yeah because the Pacific Times is in San Jose and when you gave my resume to Cyrus we weren't together." I stand up because I'm getting myself really worked up.

"Olivia, I'm trying to help you." Fitz says, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well, maybe I don't want your help. I like working for you. I know that I'm going to have to leave eventually but I thought you wanted me there too, at least for the time being."

Fitz is shaking his head, "Livvy, what the hell is going on with you? I'm not trying to get rid of you, stop acting like a child."

Now I'm the one shaking my head, "I am _not_ acting like a child. I am allowed to get upset when my boyfriend is trying to get me to relocate to another city."

Now Fitz stands up, "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not trying to do that, I just want to help you get where you want to go."

"Well just stop. You need to let me figure out my own life. I don't need you to figure it out for me. I'm so sick of people trying to push me into things and thinking they know what I want more than I do. Why does everyone think I need to be fixed? I do not need to be fixed and coddled, I am doing just fine and I like moving at my own pace. Everyone needs to stop trying to fix me."

I don't know why but I've had enough and I storm out of the room and head to my car. "I'm going home." I yell as I grab my keys and run out of the house.

I get in my car and drive home and I burst in the apartment to find Abby standing in the kitchen.

She's wearing a leather mini skirt and a blouse and holding a bottle of tequila.

"I thought you were at a show?" I say, trying to compose myself.

She sets the bottle down on the table, "I was, it got boring so I thought I'd bail. The real question here is why are you home? Aren't you supposed to be with Fitz tonight?"

"We got in a fight." I say, completely defeated.

Abby hands me the bottle of tequila, "All right, take a swig and compose yourself."

I grab the bottle and drink straight from it, the liquid burning as it goes down my throat. I set the bottle down on the table and I start to walk into the living room.

Abby picks up the bottle and follows me. We both sit down on the sofa and she puts the tequila on the coffee table in front of us.

"So what happened?" She asks, leaning back against the sofa.

I sigh and grab a pillow so I can curl up next to it.

"Fitz sent my resume to this guy he knows in San Francisco. I freaked out about it. I know it was stupid and I know I shouldn't have. I just, I got upset because it felt like he was trying to get rid of me and then it felt like he was trying to fix me and I just, I overreacted."

Abby reaches over and puts her hand on my knee. "So what are you really upset about?"

"I'm upset…because maybe deep down all these fears I have about me not being good enough for him are going to become a reality and he's just trying to get rid of me under the guise of helping me."

Abby smiles at me, "Liv, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You have to stop thinking like that. That man is head over heels in love with you, I can tell you that with absolute certainty and I don't even know him very well."

I stiffen up, "Abby, he's not in love with me, don't say that."

She laughs, "Liv, the only reason he hasn't told you that himself is because he's a smart guy and he knows that you'll freak out and run in the opposite direction. I think you are overreacting, you freaked out a little and that's okay. But you should apologize, he wasn't trying to get rid of you and you know that. He's not trying to fix you either, he knows what you want and he respects that, he just wants to help you get it. That's all, he wouldn't try to change you, he likes you the way you are."

I put my hands over my face, "I'm an idiot."

Abby laughs, "You're not an idiot, you're a fool in love."

I look up at her, "Abby, I can't be in love with him. We've only been dating for a month."

Abby shakes her head at me and grins, "Okay Liv, you keep telling yourself that."

Abby and I talk for a while longer and I'm grateful I have a friend like her, she's always been able to give me the kind of clarity I need. I realize now it was stupid and childish of me to walk out on Fitz like that, so we had our first big fight—it was bound to happen sooner or later.

It's now 12:30, Abby went to sleep about twenty minutes ago and I am sitting at the kitchen table contemplating whether or not I'd seem like a crazy person if I drove all the way back out to Fitz's house right now.

Then again, I'm currently wearing a Berkeley t-shirt I stole from Fitz and pair of his boxer briefs so I probably shouldn't be concerned about crazy; I'm clearly already there.

I decide to screw my pride and drive over there, he's probably asleep but I really just need to talk to him and apologize right away. I stand up and start to head to my room when I hear a knock at the door.

I turn around, slightly confused and then walk back over to the door, taking a big breath before I look through the peephole. Sure enough, it's Fitz. I breathe a sigh of relief and I open the door.

He looks like a little bit of a mess, which I actually find endearing.

"Hi."

"Hi." I say back, unable to hide the smile that's broken out onto my face.

"I'm so sorry." We both start to say at the same time before we break out into laughter.

"Come in." I say, grabbing his hand and pulling him into my apartment.

"Liv, I'm so sorry, I should have asked you before I sent your resume to anyone and I truly regret it. I wasn't trying to send you away Liv; it was hard for me to send out that resume because I didn't want to think about what would happen if you actually did leave. I just want what's best for you but I know I should have talked to you about it first."

"No, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. Fitz, I'm so used to being hurt and feeling like I need to change for another person and I overreacted, I know you meant well. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. You did a wonderful thing for me and I just came to the wrong conclusion about it."

Fitz smiles at me, "How about we just agree that we both acted badly and from now on we try and communicate with each other before we get upset?"

I nod my head, "That sounds fair to me." Fitz has bridged the gap between us and one of his hands is caressing my cheek while the other is running down my side, pulling me closer to him.

"And you can't run away Livvy," Fitz whispers, "Remember, I will chase you down. I'm not going to let you go."

Our lips are almost touching when I whisper, "You know I was just about to leave and go back to your house. We're lucky I didn't have that revelation sooner or we would have missed each other."

Fitz laughs, "Well, we can go back to my house right now if you'd like?"

I shake my head, "It's too late to drive all the way back. But…you could stay here if you wanted to?"

"I think that's a good idea." He says as he starts to kiss his way up my jawline and down my neck.

"We have to be quiet though, Abby is sleeping and these walls are very thin."

Fitz shoots me a mischievous grin, "I don't think _I'm_ going to have a problem being quiet."

I try to feign offense and push him away from me but he just pulls me right back so that my back is pressed against his chest and his hands are now wandering over my front outside my shirt.

I sigh, "Slow, it has to be slow or else I'm not going to be able to be quiet."

Fitz starts to lead me to my bedroom, "Deal", he whispers and I shudder at just the sound of his sultry voice, "but you have to take off my underwear because it's really making me want you in a way that would definitely wake up your roommate."

I laugh and look at what he's wearing, slip on shoes, grey pajama pants and a Navy t-shirt, it's insane how I still find him unbelievably hot in something so simple.

We get through my door and Fitz shuts it quietly and quickly sheds his shoes on the floor.

He looks at me with that carnal need in his eyes, I love that look, it makes him look so manly and sexy and powerful. He could get me to do anything with that look.

"Take off your clothes." He says and then starts to pull his t-shirt over his head.

I quickly shed my clothing and wait for him to toss his last item of clothing in a pile on the floor. He walks over to the other side of the bed, "Get in." He says, placing his gorgeous naked body in between my sheets.

I follow suit and slide up close to him. We are both lying on our sides now with our arms wrapped around each other. His lips find mine and I find I'm trying to get my body as close as possible to his body.

Our naked figures are rubbing against each other, I can feel his member pressed against my stomach and it's making me so wet with anticipation.

We continue to kiss until I feel the heat pool in my core so much that I feel like I'm going to explode. I reach my hand down and grab his member, attempting to guide him into me.

He brings his tip to my center and teases me with it, I want to scream out but thankfully my mouth is preoccupied with his kisses. He pushes me softly so that I am now on my back and he opens my legs wide, hooking one over his elbow and letting the other hang off to the side. He positions himself above me and slowly and tantalizingly pushes into me and sets a slow and steady rhythm for us. He's pumping in and out of me at an excruciatingly slow pace and he adjusts himself so that our bodies are totally pressed together. His hips start to thrust a little harder and his mouth is still on mine, kissing me like there's no need for air. I can hear myself moaning into his mouth and I'm trying so hard to stay quiet but it's becoming impossible. He abruptly stops and pulls out of me and I groan at the lack of contact. He tenderly moves me so that I am lying on my side and he is spooning me from behind. He parts my legs slightly and pushes into me, allowing me a moment to get used to the angle and then puts my leg back down and therefore making the angle tighter so now when he thrusts he's hitting me exactly where I want him most. His hands find their way around my body. One finds its way down to my core and starts to massage the sensitive bud between my legs while the other is taking turns massaging each of my breasts. I'm so over stimulated that I can't keep quiet and I accidentally let out a fairly loud moan. Fitz lifts his head from the spot where he's been kissing my neck and shoulder and the hand that's massaging my breasts moves up to my neck and turns my head to meet his own and our lips find each other in hot, wet kisses.

Normally I would have slapped away a guy who tried to grab my neck the way Fitz is but with him I really enjoy it, while I consider myself to be a feminist, I love it when Fitz-and only Fitz-controls me like this in the bedroom. I think maybe it's because Fitz is the first guy I've ever really trusted and I know he won't go too far.

The hand massaging my center stops its motion and moves up my stomach so that it's splayed across my belly, slowly pressing my stomach to the rhythm of our thrusts. I feel Fitz pick up the pace slightly so I know he's close and so I am I, in fact his pace change is just enough for me to reach orgasm. As I am riding out the waves of my orgasm Fitz thrusts hard into me a few more times and then finds his release as well. We've stopped kissing; we're both breathing so hard that we can't focus enough to kiss and instead we're just staring into each other's eyes. I expect Fitz to pull out of me but he doesn't, instead he bends his knees so it's almost like I'm sitting in his lap and I can feel him start to get soft inside me. It's odd at first but quickly becomes not only comfortable but also comforting. He buries his head in my shoulder and pulls the covers up and we both fall asleep.

We are abruptly woken up the next morning by Abby bursting in my room.

"Wake up lovebirds!" She exclaims, the door flying open letting the light pour into my room.

I grab the sheet and pull it up so it's covering my chest while Fitz has turned and buried his head in my hair.

"Abby, what the fuck?" I say, my eyes getting wide in annoyance as I motion with my head over to Fitz thinking maybe she didn't know he was here.

Abby grins, "Oh Liv, I know your boss man slash sex friend is here but your Mom has called three times. I answered the last time and told her that you were running and left your phone here and I'd have you call her back ASAP."

She tosses my phone onto the bed and sure enough there are the missed calls from my mother.

"Thanks Abs, but you could have knocked." I say, my voice conveying kindness but my face conveying my annoyance.

Abby laughs again, "Yes, I could have, but I really just wanted to see if your boss man's body is as fantastic as you say. Hi Fitz." She's grinning wildly now.

Fitz lifts his head up and gives her a small smile. "Good morning, Abby."

I roll my eyes at both of them at this point, thank god Fitz is laughing or this would probably have been a deal breaker.

"You can leave now." I say to Abby, I'm laughing but I'm totally serious.

"I got it, I'm out of here!" Abby says, holding her hands up in surrender and backing out of the room. She moves to shut the door behind her put pops her head in one last time, "By the way Fitz, kudos on keeping it tight, Liv was not exaggerating."

"Oh my god, get out!" I squeal, throwing the plastic coaster on my nightstand at her, now I'm just embarrassed.

She shuts the door and I shift so that I'm lying on my back and throw my hands over my face and groan.

To my surprise Fitz is still laughing so I slowly pull my hands down, uncovering my face. "I am so sorry about that."

He smiles at me and leans in, placing a soft kiss on my lips. "It's okay, I get it, I had a roommate in my twenties too."

I glare at him, "You've had a roommate do _that_?"

He laughs again and places his hand on my collarbone, running it around my neck and breastbone in an attempt to calm me down—and it's working.

"I've never had a roommate do _that_, but there have definitely been embarrassing moments. Don't stress out, at least she likes me."

Now I'm laughing, "At least she likes you? Oh my god, why are you so nice to me? You could have walked out and I wouldn't have even blamed you."

Fitz laughs and then leans in so that his lips are touching my earlobe and I can feel his hot breath on my neck. "I guess I really like you."

He's tickling my neck now and I start to giggle and turn around so that we're facing each other. He pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my body and he starts to kiss my neck.

I start to push him away, "Fitz, Fitz wait, stop, I have to call my Mom."

He lifts his head up and scowls at me, making me laugh. I reach back and grab my phone, "Fitz you cannot talk or do anything to distract me while I'm talking to my Mom. She will freak out if she hears you or thinks something is distracting me."

"Okay, okay I can do that."

I shoot him a serious look and study him to make sure there's no devious twinkle in his eye. I start to dial my Mom's number and I shift in the bed so that I am lying flat on my back. Fitz stays propped up on his left arm next to me and his right hand reaches over and grabs my right forearm and starts to run his thumb delicately along my skin.

My Mom picks up after one short ring, "Olivia Katherine Pope what have I told you about running without your cell phone? You could have been abducted or murdered or taken hostage and no one would have had any idea. You have to be better about that, you know how I worry about you."

I take a deep breath and get ready to argue with her but it's just not worth it so instead I let out a deep sigh, "I know Mom, you're right. I'm sorry, I won't let it happen again."

"Thank you sweetie—wait, why are you being so agreeable?"

I laugh, "Thanks a lot Mom for implying I'm anything less than an agreeable daughter."

"Oh sweetie, you know what I mean."

I roll my eyes and Fitz attempts to stifle a laugh earning a glare from me, but thankfully Mom doesn't hear.

"So what was so urgent Mom, I'd really like to get in the shower?"

"Oh, jeez I'm sorry! Sweetie you know your grandmother is coming here in two weeks and I know we talked about you coming down for the weekend to see her but your Dad really needs to book your plane ticket if you're coming down and he has to know what times work best for you."

"Oh, crap, Mom I'm so sorry. Um have him try to get me the latest flight possible on Friday and then the latest flight out on Sunday night as well."

"Okay, I got it, we will get it booked now and e-mail you the confirmation."

"Okay, thanks Mom. I'll talk to you later, I love you."

"I love you too, Olive. Talk to you later."

I hang up the phone and toss it down the bed so it's out of the way.

Fitz is grinning at me, "Your Mom calls you Olive."

I roll my eyes, "You cannot start calling me that."

He laughs, "Oh no, you're my Livvy. I'm just now trying to imagine you when you were a little kid. I bet you were adorable, little Olive Pope. God, that just makes you sound like trouble."

I laugh, "Maybe a little bit."

I shift my body so I am turned toward him and say, "Thank you for not distracting me."

He smiles at me, "I presume my compliance comes with rewards?"

I can't help but burst out laughing.

Fitz is just grinning at me, "Oh, you think I'm joking?"

"Oh, I know you don't joke about this kind of thing." I say, running my hand down his firm chest.

"So your Grandma is coming to town." He says.

"And thank you for ruining that." I say as I remove my hand from his chest.

He smiles and grabs my hand back, pulling it to his chest and keeping it covered with his own. "So you're going back to LA for a whole weekend?"

I nod, "Yeah, she doesn't visit very often so it's kind of a big deal."

"Where does she live?"

"Well, she's originally from Lusaka, Zambia and she grew up there so she spends a few months of every year back there with my Uncle but the rest of the year she lives in New York City."

"Wait, I thought your grandparents lived in South Africa?"

"Yeah, my Mom's parents do. This is my Dad's Mom."

Fitz nods, "Oh okay, I got it. Well that's pretty amazing, that's a difficult trip to make.

"Yeah, she's pretty resilient, I mean she's eighty-five and she is still totally self-sufficient."

"Jeez, that's incredibly impressive. Honestly just living in New York City at eighty-five would be a struggle but adding traveling to that is amazing. How long has she lived in New York City?"

"Well, she and my Grandpa actually moved there when I was about five. They had been living in DC for a while before that and my Dad and his siblings all grew up in San Diego. But my Grandpa had always wanted to live in New York and so they moved there and thought they'd only be there a year or two but they ended up loving it and my Grandma stayed there after my Grandpa died because she says the city keeps her young at heart and plus now she can't imagine living anywhere else."

"God, I hope I'm like that when I'm eighty-five, I'd be happy just to be living on my own but still being able to truly enjoy your life, that's the ultimate goal."

"Me too." I say, smiling at him and running my hand through his hair, I shift a little bit and I'm just now noticing the stickiness between my legs, I really need a shower.

"How about we go take a shower?" I whisper into his ear.

He gives me a devilish grin and his right hand ventures between my legs. I definitely have his answer.

We get out of bed and I poke my head out of the door and look for Abby. I don't notice her down the hall or in the living room and kitchen so I call out just in case, "Abby are you here?" I wait a moment and listen for her response but I hear nothing. "Abby, if you're here I just want to warn you that Fitz and I are going to have sex in the bathroom so if you need to use it, do it now!"

I can hear Fitz laughing as he encircles me with his arms from behind.

All of a sudden I hear a rustling in the kitchen and I hear Abby's muffled voice, she's probably got a handful of fruit loops stuffed in her mouth. "I'm out of here now!" She yells, though it's hard to understand because of the food in her mouth, but does explain why she didn't respond to me sooner. I see her rush out the door, bags of art on her arms and a small box of fruit loops in one of her hands and yet she still manages to give me the finger.

I laugh at her and then turn around to face Fitz. "So…we've got the apartment all to ourselves."

Fitz doesn't respond verbally, instead he picks me up; his right arm captures my knee and hooks it over his arm while his left hand is focused on holding up my bum and our mouths have found each other, kissing deeply and passionately. He walks us over to the bathroom and Fitz thrusts me against the door. His hands are now roaming around my body, caressing my skin and making me feel turned on everywhere. His hips rock against mine and I feel his member rubbing up against my core. I can't help but moan from the glorious feeling of friction brewing between my legs.

"We…should…start…the…shower…" I manage to say between gasps because Fitz's mouth is now on my breasts and the way he's toying with my nipples is making all coherent thought leave my mind.

He slowly puts me down on the ground and I almost topple over because my legs are already feeling weak. He grabs my arm so I can balance and I shake my head at him and try not to laugh because he has this look of manly pride on his face.

I gain my footing and I walk over to the shower, opening the door and turning the water on. When I stand up straight I feel Fitz's arm's encircle me, one hand finding its way to my breast and the other starting to massage the sensitive bud between my legs. I can't contain my moans anymore and thank god that Fitz is holding me up because my body is shaking. The hand that's massaging my breasts moves slowly up between my breastbone and my neck and gently turning my head to the side to face him, he starts kissing my jawline first.

"I love…that I'm the reason…you're making those sounds…it gets me so…hard." He says between heavy kisses he's placing on my jawline until his mouth captures mine. We step into the warm running water and I slowly turn around so that I can touch Fitz again. His hands make their way to my back start to caress me while I bring mine to his face and run them through his hair and down his muscular shoulders.

I could honestly just kiss him for hours, he's that good at it, his mouth is like magic and I just hate letting go because I always feel like when I do I'm going to miss one of it's big secrets.

His hands have now found their way to my thighs and he's now lifting me up against the wall of the shower. I wrap my legs around his waist and I can feel him pulsating at my entrance. We just keep kissing for a little while until his hips start to thrust lightly into mine. I reach down and grab his member with my hand so I can line him up with my entrance. We aren't moving slowly like last night, we are both so ready for this as he plunges deep into me and we both gasp.

"God Liv, you feel so damn good." Fitz says as he starts to thrust into me, no more soft and sensual, these thrusts are hard and fast and needy.

I am screaming in pleasure with my arms wrapped tightly around Fitz as he bounces me up and down with his thrusts, his wonderful hands splayed across my bottom guiding my body to his.

"Oh my god, Fitz, right there." I squeal as his thrusts propel him deeper inside me. A moment later I'm falling over the edge, Fitz rides out my body's convulsions with a few more thrusts until he finds he release only moments later and another wave of pleasure hits me as it explodes inside me. I'm really glad Abby isn't here because I have no doubt she would be able to hear my moans of pleasure even through the sound of the water. Our mouths never once separate as we ride out our highs together, both finally stilling sometime later and yet we're still trying to catch our breaths. We reluctantly break apart as I unwrap my legs from Fitz's waist and place them tenderly back on the ground, aware that I'm still a little shaky. Fitz is looking down at me and I am staring up at him, he smiles at me and he runs a hand through my hair.

"Hi." He says softly.

I grin back at him, "Hi."

It's terrifying to admit, but Fitzgerald Grant makes me feel something inside myself I never knew I could feel.


	19. Chapter 19

_"And it was with his glad sigh of relief when her light watery laughter curled up the side of the cliff and into his anxious ears that he knew he loved her."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Offshore Pirate_

* * *

"Fitz you have to stop, Harrison could walk in at any moment and you know he doesn't knock." I say, laughing as Fitz kisses my neck.

We are standing behind my desk and in plain view of the window and of anyone who would walk in the door. It would be pretty damn hard to hide what we are doing from anyone who happened to barge in on us.

Fitz starts to laugh, "We have twenty minutes. Relax, it's Harrison, he's not going to be early." His hands start to wander down my stomach and start to unzip my pants.

I try to step forward but Fitz pulls me back, "Fitz we can't do this. Not here."

He lets me turn around and I press my hands against his chest. I am breathing heavily and when I look into his eyes and see the desire in them, it's enough to make me stop breathing altogether.

"Just this once." He begs. "Because you are leaving me for an entire weekend."

I can't help but laugh, "You are _such_ a baby, I won't even be gone for forty-eight hours. But no way Fitz, we are not having sex in my office."

"I didn't mean sex." He says and I know I'm looking at him with confusion written all over my face because he starts to laugh as he starts to kiss down my body and pushes me back onto my desk as he slides my pants down my legs and his mouth finds its way to the outside of my underwear where he teases me with his hot breath until his fingers hook themselves into the sides of my panties and slide them down my legs. His mouth finds me again and I lean my head backward as he works his magic between my legs.

When he's finished he's the perfect gentleman and slides my panties and pants back up my legs and fastens them, which is a good thing because I am still in a little bit of a daze.

He leans forward and kisses me, running his hand through my hair.

"You may not be Clark Kent, but you definitely have a superpower." I tease.

Fitz now has a devious grin on his face and he grabs my face with both of his hands and plants a deep kiss on my lips.

I can't help but start to laugh as he pulls away from me.

"You are such a boost to my already over-inflated ego Ms. Pope."

He pauses for a moment and reaches out to grab my hand. "And you should really let me take you to the airport."

I get up off my desk and stand so that I'm leaning over the back of my chair as I talk to him, "Harrison is taking me, you know that. He will know something is up if all of a sudden you say you're taking me, he's not an idiot."

Fitz starts to pout and I roll my eyes. "So how am I supposed to entertain myself for two whole days without you?"

I laugh, "Oh come on, call up your friends. Have a night out, call up Cyrus and James."

Fitz shakes his head, "I can't call up Cyrus and James, I've been dodging them lately because they've been trying to set me up with someone and obviously I can't go on a date."

I stiffen up but try not to make it noticeable. "Why not?"

Fitz looks baffled, "Why not? Because I'm with you, I'm not going on a date with another woman."

"It's not like you're going to have sex with her or anything. Just go out with your friends, you can't exactly tell them that we are dating."

Fitz crosses his arms and leans back against my desk. "Are you serious right now Olivia? You want me to go on a date with another woman? You are so afraid of people finding out about our relationship that you would have me go on a date with another woman?"

"_Fitz_, we can't tell anyone about our relationship. It's inappropriate and it shouldn't be happening. You could get in trouble and I could risk never getting hired anywhere again. You really think Cyrus is going to want to hire me if he knows we're sleeping together? You can't tell them."

Fitz presses his hands to his temples and then he stands up and walks over to me, turning me around so I'm facing him and his hands are on my shoulders. "Do you want to stop doing this?"

"What? Fitz, I never said that." I say, I can feel my muscles tensing up and the anxiety rising in my body.

"Do you really want me to see another woman? Do you want another woman touching my arm or holding my hand? Do you want me kissing someone else? Because I sure as hell do not want that for you. I would never suggest you go on a date with someone even just for show because the thought of another man even holding your hand makes me absolutely crazy. I don't want to be with anyone but you. Do you want to be with someone else besides me Livvy? Because I need to know right now if you do."

I shake my head, "No, no of course not. I'm sorry Fitz. I don't really want that, I was just trying to make this…I don't know…easier somehow."

"Then do not ever suggest I go out on a date with another woman ever again. I do not want to be with anyone but you and I don't care how difficult it is. I am not going to even pretend I am seeing someone else."

He leans in and kisses me softly but backs away almost immediately and I can tell he's a little angry with me.

I grab his hand as he turns to walk away.

"Fitz, don't be mad at me. I can't leave if you're mad at me."

He turns around and sighs, "Livvy, I'm not mad at you." But he's unconvincing in his tone.

He pulls me toward him, "I promise, I'm not mad at you. Go home, have fun with your family, and I will be there to pick you up at the airport on Sunday."

I can't help but grin as I look up at him. "Okay."

He smiles down at me and runs a hand through my hair, "Okay."

The minute he steps back from me Harrison bursts into my office.

"Ready to go Ace?" He asks, a big grin on his face.

I laugh, "Hey Harrison. Yeah let me grab my jacket and then I'm ready."

Fitz and Harrison exchange pleasantries as I grab my coat and my bag and I stand at the door when I'm ready to leave.

"We should be going." I say to Harrison.

"Sounds good." He says, "See you later Fitz, hey how about we play some golf tomorrow?"

Fitz nods his head, "Yeah, that sounds great." He puts his hands in his pockets as he walks toward me.

"Have a good weekend Livvy."

"Thanks Fitz, you too." I say with a smile and I turn to walk out of the room before my face gives everything away.

Harrison and I walk down to his car and he loads my things into the trunk. We get into the car and we start to drive.

"Is Fitz seeing someone?" Harrison abruptly asks me.

I try really hard to seem calm and collected as I answer him. "How am I supposed to know?"

Harrison laughs, "Well, you spend more time with him than anyone else. I figured if anyone knew then you would."

I shrug my shoulders and look out the window, "I don't know. He's kind of a private guy when it comes to that kind of stuff, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he doesn't date much anyway. He just seems to be in a good mood lately, you know, the kind of good mood you're in when you're getting laid consistently."

I can't help but laugh, "You're gross."

Several hours later I land at LAX and I get off my plane. I make my way to the baggage claim and find my mother, sisters and my grandmother waiting for me.

"Liv!" I hear Victoria yell before I see her.

"Hey guys!" I say, walking over being immediately engulfed in a huge hug by my Grandmother.

"Livia you look gorgeous." She says, running a hand through my hair. "You're so professional in your work clothes. I'm so proud of you!" She exclaims, pulling me in for another hug.

I can't help but start to laugh, "Thanks Grandma. Hey guys." I say, quickly hugging my Mom and sisters.

"It is so good to see you beautiful girl." She says, holding me at arms length and getting a good look at me. My grandma is a beautiful lady even for her age. She is fairly tall and has had dark hair almost all her life, there only a few strands of grey on her entire head. We only see her about two times a year so even though I had to leave Fitz for the weekend I am very glad I get the chance to see her.

"All right my dear Olivia. Tell me all about your big job in San Jose?" She asks and with that we leave the airport and head back home.

We spend Friday catching up and then on Saturday my Grandma wants to go to the Redondo pier so Caroline, Victoria, and I take her and Mom and Dad head out to the grocery to get things for dinner.

We get home around the same time and we all help unload the groceries.

"Oh, Olivia, we saw Jake while we were out." My Mother says.

I freeze in my place and wait for her to continue.

"It was nice to see him. I invited him to dinner."

I spin around so that I am facing my Mother. "You did _what_?"

My Mom shrugs, "I invited him to dinner. I like him. You two are still friends aren't you? I don't understand this silly being on a break situation. He's such a great boy, you should get back together with him."

I'm trying very hard not to get angry right now but it's not working very well. "Mom, we aren't getting back together. Why is everyone so delusional about this? I am not in love with him. You have to stop trying to force this and let me live my own life."

I storm out of the room and almost immediately I get a text from Fitz. We have been talking constantly since I left yesterday and now he's sent me a selfie of himself. I look at it and smile. He's got a baseball cap on and a polo shirt. I can see the green in the background and I know that he's playing golf with Harrison.

I would send him one back but I'm so worked up right now that he would definitely notice so I decide to send him a picture we took of me and my Grandma on the pier.

He only sends one word back, "Beautiful." And it makes me grin.

All of a sudden I feel someone come up behind me in the hallway and I notice that it's my Grandma.

"Hi sweetheart." She says, moving to sit down next to me on the love seat I am currently perched on.

"Hey Grandma, sorry about that. I didn't mean to act so childish."

She starts to laugh and shakes her head. "You were fine. You're allowed to act a little irrational when you're in love."

I take a deep breath, "Grandma I'm not in love with Jake."

Now it's her turn to laugh, "Sweetheart, I wasn't talking about Jake. I think he's a great boy and I do like him very much but I'm eighty-four years old, I know a woman in love when I see one. You're different from the last time I saw you, you're happier in your soul. Grandma's can tell these things. I think that whomever is making you so happy is also the one who has been sending you messages on your phone all day because every time you read one you smile that big beautiful smile I love so much."

I shake my head, "Grandma, I'm not in love. I can't be in love, it's too complicated."

She laughs and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Olivia, life is complicated, you'll figure it out and when you do we will all support you."

I smile at her, she's always been better at reading me than my parents have. "I can't talk about it just yet Grandma. I want to, but I can't."

She pats me on the knee. "That's okay, just know that I am here for you. You can always call me anytime I'm always here for you sweet girl."

I reach out and grab her hand, "Will you come visit me in San Jose sometime?"

She grins, "Of course I will, I'd like nothing better."

I lean in and give her a hug, "Thank you Grandma."

Dinner comes and Harrison's parents, Jake, and Caroline's still sort of boyfriend from high school arrive and we have a pleasant dinner. Jake is polite and charming and acting like a friend to me which I appreciate. We also steer clear of any relationship talk, which is very good, I don't know if I could handle that right now.

It's getting late and I have to run upstairs to take a pill when I see Jake standing in my bathroom door.

I look up, "Hey, what are you doing?"

He shrugs, "I haven't seen your room in a while."

I wash my hands and walk toward him; I know that was code for he wanted some time alone with me.

"So how are you Liv?" He asks, running his hand lightly down my arm.

I shiver and I back away, thinking about what Fitz said yesterday and knowing that if he found out Jake had even touched me he would get angry.

"Jake stop, don't do this."

He takes a step forward but thankfully makes no more moves to touch me. "Don't do what Liv? Tell you I'm still in love with you? Well I am, I'm still in love with you and nothing is going to change that. Liv please, we deserve another chance. We were good together and you know it."

He takes me hand lightly and I don't pull away even though I should. I don't want to be with Jake, I want to be with Fitz but the truth is I don't know if I see a future with Fitz, well that's a lie I do but I'm not sure if that future is something he wants. He's seventeen years older than me and while it doesn't bother me now I'm afraid that sooner or later it's going to bite us in the ass. I'm only twenty-six years old, what if this thing with Fitz did miraculously work out and we stayed together. I never really wanted kids or even to actually get married until I was in my thirties and that would put Fitz in his fifties. I doubt he wants to get married in his fifties and I really doubt he wants to be a dad in his fifties. But then there's that, even though Jake is technically the smarter match, he's technically the better choice, when I think about marriage and kids and growing old with someone, I can't picture any of that with Jake but I can picture it with Fitz. I can picture us raising a family and growing old together. And that thought is absolutely terrifying.

I haven't said anything yet and honestly I don't know what to say so I'm happy when Jake speaks up again, "You don't need to say anything Liv. Think about this, think about us, take as long as you need. I'll still be here when you decide. I should get going, thanks for inviting me over." He leans in and gives me a light kiss on the cheek and I still can't speak. It's like I'm frozen to this spot.

He walks away and leaves me standing in the doorway of my bathroom. I just wait there for a while until I'm sure he's left and then I compose myself and head back downstairs.

Sunday goes by quickly and I have to be at the airport by 12 PM, I wanted a later flight but it was going to be too hard to get both Caroline and I to the airport at different times and she needed to leave earlier.

We say our goodbyes and my Grandma promises to visit as soon as she can and I get on my plane. I arrive in San Jose and when I walk into baggage claim I had completely forgotten that Fitz had promised to pick me up.

I see him over the crowd of people and he spots me too and starts to hastily make his way toward me. I take off toward him and I practically catapult myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his body as close to mine as possible. I know that people are staring at us but quite frankly I don't really care.

His arms are clutching my torso and his hands are gripping my sides like his life depends on it and he whispers into my ear, "God, I missed you so much."

I move my head so I am kissing his cheek until my mouth finds his and I plant a searing kiss on him. We both break away for air and he sets me back down onto the ground.

He looks at me but his grin fades into a frown, "Livvy, you're crying."

I wipe my eyes and I see that I am in fact crying, "I guess I missed you more than I realized."

Fitz wipes away the tears on my face with his thumbs, "You don't have to miss me anymore, I'm not going anywhere."

I smile and pull him in for another kiss.

We wait for my bag hand in hand and then we head out to his car.

"So you don't need to grab anything from your apartment, do you?"

I shake my head, "Nope. I'm good to go."

"Perfect." He says as he intertwines his fingers with mine over the console.

We get to his house and I head upstairs to freshen up and as I am washing my face I hear the doorbell ring but I really don't think twice about it.

When I get downstairs I walk into the kitchen but I don't see Fitz. I hear him in the dining room and I walk over and I see that the doorbell ringing was just takeout from my favorite Thai restaurant. He has it set up on fancy plates with candles lit on his dining room table and the lights are dimmed giving the room a romantic feel.

"Fitz?" I say, standing in the doorway.

He turns to look over at me, "Hey Livvy."

"I thought you didn't like Thai food?"

He grins and walks over to me, "It's not my favorite but I like it just fine but it is your favorite and so I'm more than happy to eat it."

He puts his arms around me loosely and bends down to place a soft kiss on my lips.

We sit down to eat and I tell him more about my trip home, minus the incident with Jake, I don't think Fitz needs to know that.

Fitz tells me about his golf outing with Harrison and we finish up our dinner.

We are putting the dishes in the dishwasher when I suddenly feel the need to wrap my arms around Fitz. I rest my head on his shoulder and my hands graze his waist just above his belt.

He stops what he's doing and he puts his hands over my own. His fingers intertwine with my own and he pulls me closer to him.

After a moment he turns around but he doesn't let go of my hands. "Come on Livvy, lets go sit outside."

The sun is just setting and it's a beautiful night. We light a fire in the fire pit and we make ourselves comfortable on the sofa. I am curled up into Fitz's side and his head is resting on mine. It's warm but Fitz pulls a blanket over us anyway and his hand starts to play with the hem of my shirt.

"Fitz?" I say quietly as his hand finds the button on the top of my jeans. He turns to look at me and our eyes lock.

"Do you ever think about the future?"

Fitz's hand stills and he looks away from me for a minute but then looks back. "Yes, I do."

I sigh; he's going to make me work for this. "Do you ever think about us?"

I trace my fingers around the collar of his shirt and wait for him to respond.

"I do think about us."

I roll my eyes at him; he really wants to make me work for this. "You're such an ass." I say, shaking my head. "You're going to make me say it aren't you?"

He starts to laugh at me, "Say what? I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I hate you." I say quietly.

"You don't hate me." He says, taking my chin in his hand so I'm looking directly at him.

"I do hate you." I say, trying to turn my head away from him but he won't let me.

"You don't hate me." He says again but this time he's stern, almost forceful when he says it.

"I don't hate you." I say softly, our eyes are locked together and I feel more exposed than I ever have in my life.

"When I think about the future…I think about you. I see you there. I want you there."

I can't stop myself from grinning at him and before he can say anything else I've pulled him down so that I can kiss him. His lips find mine and his tongue parts them and he's pulling me into a deep kiss.

My hands reach under the hem of his shirt and I start to pull it over his head.

His hands do the same and we pull each other's shirts off in an easy rhythm and Fitz pushes me backward onto the sofa and starts to work on my pants. Unbuttoning and unzipping my pants he slides them off my body and he kisses his way down my stomach.

I gasp when he reaches my underwear and he starts to kiss me through the thin fabric.

"Oh god, Fitz." I say as he slowly pulls my underwear down my legs.

His mouth goes to work between my legs and I grab onto the armrest as he uses his superpower.

I can feel everything build up inside of me and suddenly waves of pleasure hit my body and I can feel my legs start to shake uncontrollably.

Fitz kisses his way up my body and he breaks away for a minute, hovering over me so that he can undo his pants and slide them off his body. He frees himself of his pants and underwear and then reaches his hand down and caresses my stomach down to my core.

He presses his tip to my entrance, teasing me and driving me crazy.

He leans his mouth close to my ear, "God, you're so gorgeous Livvy." He says as he places hot and wet kisses along my collarbone.

I can barely breathe but I manage a small laugh. "Fitz…you've already…got me...naked. You don't need…to flatter me."

Fitz doesn't laugh, instead he looks up at me, his eyes are filled with desire and he reaches up and runs his hand through my hair. "I'm not trying to flatter you Olivia, I'm simply trying to tell you a simple truth. You're absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

His mouth comes back up to mine and his hand makes its way down my front, caressing my breast and making its way down to my leg to lift it up around his pelvis.

He thrusts into me quickly and his other hand reaches down and cups my bottom and pushes my hips up into his.

He's now kissing my neck and I'm running my hands through his hair and he picks up the pace and now I'm moaning into his ear.

"Livvy, those noises you make drive me absolutely crazy." He says as he runs a hand through my hair then reaches back down to push my thigh further back and I moan again at the change in angle.

Fitz picks up the pace and I can feel the pressure building up in my body and I know I'm close. Fitz's mouth moves back up to mine and his tongue delves into my mouth and his hands are on my bum and all of a sudden the pressure is too much and I let go.

Fitz comes shortly after I do and he collapses on top of me and we are both breathing heavily. He shifts off of me after a moment and then pulls my body so that we are flush against each other.

"Don't leave me again anytime soon Livvy. I miss you too much when you're away." He says as he caresses my cheek.

"Maybe we could go away together next time?" I say shyly, my fingers dancing on his chest.

A huge grin appears on his face, "Are you asking me to go away with you?"

I shrug my shoulders and look away from him, "I don't know."

"Oh, you definitely asked me to go away with you." He's teasing me again.

I roll my eyes and try to turn away from him. "Seriously Fitz, you are such an ass. I take it back now, I don't want to go away with you."

He pulls me back so that I am facing him once again, "I am an ass, but I'm an ass who adores you and one who is now going to take you on an incredible weekend getaway very soon."

I don't know what to say to this so I just wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him. "I really missed you." I whisper.

"I know." He says and with that we just lie there together, content with the idea that we're both in way deeper than we ever expected to be.


	20. Chapter 20

_"People living alone get used to loneliness."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

I am hunched over the toilet in Fitz's private bathroom because I can't stop vomiting. He is sitting next to me with an extremely worried look on his face as he holds my hair back for me. I know why he's so nervous; he thinks I'm pregnant. Honestly, I'd think that too if I hadn't received from Abby, moments before I started puking, a text asking me if I was puking as much as she was. I hoped and prayed that somehow only she had been cursed with food poisoning but ten minutes later I found myself emptying the contents of my stomach into the trash bin under my desk. That ordeal was followed by Fitz bursting into my office and helping me over to his private bathroom where we are now both on the floor as I continue to vomit into the toilet, feeling more and more terrible by the minute. I've now been puke free for about five minutes so I take a chance and look up to Fitz; he's sitting on top of the trashcan lid with his elbows on his knees and his head in one of his hands while the other holds my hair back for me. I can tell that he's internally freaking out.

He sees me lift up my head and he immediately leans forward to hand me a washcloth to wipe off my mouth and then grabs a damp cloth and starts to wipe my forehead.

The cool fabric of the cloth feels wonderful on my head and I close my eyes as he runs it along my face. I feel a little better so I open my eyes again and look at Fitz, who still looks absolutely terrified. I let out a deep breath and I try to find my voice, it comes out hoarse, my throat is killing me.

"It's food poisoning." I say quietly.

He gives me a skeptical look so I pick my cell phone up off the ground and I hand it to him.

"Read the messages from Abby." I say, I feel too weak to even scroll through my phone right now.

I see him quickly scan the message and I can tell he lets out a sigh of relief when he reads Abby's messages about how she too, is puking her guts out at work. But he still has a very concerned look on his face.

He sets the phone on the sink counter and he resumes patting my forehead with the damp washcloth.

"I'm going to have someone take you home." He says, now running the washcloth down to my neck.

"You know I'd do it myself but I have that meeting in an hour and I don't want to look suspicious." He's frowning as he speaks and I know he feels bad.

I manage a small smile, "It's fine, I understand."

"Does Abby need someone to pick her up also?" He asks, motioning to my phone.

I smile again at him, he's always thinking about everyone else. "No, her boyfriend du jour is picking her up and taking her to his apartment."

He frowns when I say this, "I really don't want you to be alone."

I shake my head slowly, "Don't worry, I'll be fine, I just need to lie down."

I know he wants to argue with me about that but he stays silent because I know he doesn't want to upset me.

"Okay, I'm going to go get Harrison, I'll be right back." He says as he gets up and leaves the bathroom.

A few moments later he enters the bathroom with Harrison trailing behind him.

"Oh, Olive, you look miserable." Harrison says as he bends down to try and help me up.

I feel too terrible to tell him not to call me Olive or even to roll my eyes at him.

Harrison grabs one of my arms and Fitz grab the other and they help me stand up.

"Time to go home, Ace." Harrison says.

I am somehow leaning against both Fitz and Harrison and they take me to the service elevator because it goes straight down to the parking garage. I silently thank god for giving Fitz and Harrison the good sense to take me out this elevator because I would have been really embarrassed if I had to walk through the entire office and then out through the front lobby.

I must have passed out on the ride to my apartment because before I know it I'm being carried out of the car and up the stairs to my apartment.

Harrison is talking to me as I'm lying on my bed but I can't comprehend a word he says. He sets a trashcan, a few replacement bags, and a roll of paper towels next to the bed and that's the last thing I remember.

I wake up groggy a few hours later to sounds of someone clambering about in the kitchen. I stand up and then immediately sit back down because I feel so dizzy. I wait for the feeling to subside and then I stand up again, this time much more slowly, and I make my way to the kitchen.

To my great surprise, Fitz is rummaging through my refrigerator. I spot several paper bags on the counter and I surmise that he has been shopping.

He senses my presence before I have a change to speak and he turns around. He frowns at me and stops what he is doing and walks over to me, putting his hand on my forehead. After a moment his frown deepens, "You're still burning up."

"I feel a little better." I manage to say as I lean against the doorway because I just cannot support myself anymore.

"You don't look better." He says and continues on before I can make a sassy remark, "I got you some food and some medicine but if you don't feel well enough to eat you don't have to. You can stick to crackers and ginger ale for a little while, no use forcing yourself to eat if you're just going to throw it up. I also think you should take this. Just to be on the safe side." He says timidly as he pulls out a box of pregnancy tests from the shopping bag.

I nod; I know he's right. Better safe than sorry.

He puts the bags away quickly and sticks the test under his arm so he can grab my shoulders, gently guiding me toward the bathroom.

"Let's get you into a shower." He says, sitting me down on the toilet so that I don't topple over and placing the box on my sink counter.

I lean sideways and rest my head against the wall, "I don't know if I can stand long enough to take a shower."

"Don't worry about that." He says, reaching his hands up to start unbuttoning my oxford shirt. He undoes the buttons one by one and then untucks the parts of my shirt that are still miraculously tucked in from my pants and slides it off my shoulders.

His hands reach around me and unclasp my bra then slide the straps off my shoulders and put it on the pile started by my shirt. His hands go to my armpits and he lifts me so I am standing up, his hands move down to my waist as he kneels down on the ground once again and my hands find his shoulders so I can support myself. His hands quickly unbutton my pants and he slides them off in one quick motion along with my underwear. Normally I would find this arousing but the care he's taking to disrobe me and the way he's taking care to not stare at me too long instead makes me feel very comforted and taken care of.

He sits me back on the toilet and turns the water on in the shower. While he's letting it warm up he takes his own clothes off and adds them to the pile mine have now formed on the floor. He reaches a hand into the shower to test the water and apparently he finds it warm enough because he picks me up and then sets me down in the shower. He turns me around so my back is leaning against his chest and I have never felt more secure in my life, he's holding me up and I feel terrible but at the same time I am feel more safe than I ever have in my whole life.

He washes my body and my hair thoroughly, his hands feel so good on my body, and not in a sexual way, just in that his hands feel so comforting and soothing.

When he's finished he takes me out of the shower and dries me off carefully, making sure to wipe down my entire body and proceeds to sits me on the toilet. I point to the pregnancy tests on the sink counter and do my best to indicate that I have to pee because talking is just too painful at the moment.

Fitz grabs the box and pulls a test out, taking off the wrapping and disposing of it. I grab for the stick but I can barely hold myself up and if I'm honest I've been seeing double so I'm not entirely sure if I've grabbing the right area. He takes my hand and brings it back down by my side and then he moves his hands to my knees. He gently parts my legs and I try to resist, me peeing on a stick is a big enough romance killer but Fitz being the one to have to hold it between my legs is about a thousand times worse.

"Livvy, it's okay. Please." He says, each of his hands cupping one of my knees.

I sigh in defeat and let him push them open and lean forward so that my hands are now on his shoulders.

He holds the stick between my legs and I continue to lean on his shoulder because I can't support myself.

I finally am able to pee; thank god he's smart enough to place the stick after I start so my urine only gets on the stick.

After a moment he sets the test down on the sink and he grabs some toilet paper and hands it to me, he then pulls me up so I can wash my hands and he can wash his.

Instead of leading me to my room he scoops me up in his arms and carries me there. He sets me on the bed so that I'm sitting upright and he grabs a t-shirt from a bag on the floor. I know it's his shirt even though my eyes are closed because of the smell, it smells like his cologne and a little bit like pine sol and the April fresh detergent he uses. I open my eyes and glance down; attempting to smile at the Berkeley t-shirt he's placed on me. He pulls the covers back on the bed and eases me down before turning away. I grab at his hand; I don't want him to leave.

"I'm not leaving, Livvy. I'll be right back, I promise." He says, continuing his little trick where he reads my mind and squeezing my hand in reassurance.

A few moments later I feel him slip into bed beside me. He pulls me close and I relax immediately at the feel of his bare chest against my back. I turn around so that we are facing each other and I nuzzle my head into his neck and quickly fall asleep.

I wake up – I'm not sure how much later – and find Fitz still asleep. I'm less dizzy and my head feels much less foggy so I try to get up without waking Fitz.

Of course that doesn't work and his eyes shoot open.

"Livvy, what do you need? Don't get up; I'll get whatever it is for you."

I muster up a small smile, "I have to pee."

He laughs, "All right, maybe you do have to get up."

I try to stand by myself and he isn't having any of it, he grabs me around the waist and leads me into the bathroom.

I sit down on the toilet and he steps back but doesn't leave the room.

"You know, I'll be okay on my own." I say, waiting for him to leave the bathroom to give me a little privacy.

He laughs, "I'm staying here in case you fall off."

I scowl at him but find myself a little shaky and grab for the counter. Fitz laughs.

"Olivia, just go, a few hours ago I was holding a stick under you while you peed on it, I think we've officially ventured into territory where it's okay for me to just stand here while you pee."

I straighten up, I forgot about the pregnancy test. I finish on the toilet and I get up to wash my hands. Fitz is holding me by the waist so that I'm steady and as I'm wiping my hands I notice the test sitting on the counter.

I turn to look at Fitz as I'm drying off my hands, "What…what did it say?" I ask timidly, not even sure if he checked the results yet.

He shakes his head, "You're not."

I let out a huge sigh of relief but at the same time I notice that he looks a little sad. I suppose I'll talk to him about it later, after all it's a conversation we should probably have anyway. I'm on birth control and we don't use condoms even though we probably still should. I am not the greatest at taking my birth control on time. And sex is without a doubt better sans a condom. It's hard to use them when you know it feels better just skin on skin. I really need to get that implant if we're going to continue to forgo condoms.

"Come on," he whispers, "back to bed."

He slowly walks me back to the room and gets me situated under the covers and then turns to walk out the door.

I attempt to sit up, "Are you leaving?" I know I sound whinier than I intend too and I hate that.

He turns back around and walks back to the bed, bending down and placing a hand on my face. "No, of course I'm not leaving. I'm going to get you a glass of water and I'll be right back."

I smile at him and close my eyes, reassured that he isn't leaving me. He comes back a moment later and sets the glass on my bedside table before making his way over to the other side. He slides into bed and pulls me to him so that my back is completely pressed along his front. His arm is around my body, holding me snugly to him so that I feel safe and warm and I slowly drift back off to sleep.

I wake up and realize that I am alone in bed. I frown and I look over at the clock. It's already 9 AM so Fitz is obviously already at work.

I lie back down in bed and continue to pout. I know I shouldn't be upset that he left but I wish he would have at least woke me up before he left.

"You're up." I hear someone say from the hallway.

I sit up abruptly and a wave of nausea hits me. Fitz rushes over to my side and lifts up the garbage can but thankfully it passes and I slowly lie back down on the bed and turn to face him.

He kneels down next to the bed and he places a hand on my forehead.

"How are you feeling?" He asks quietly.

I manage a small smile, "Not great but better than yesterday. Why aren't you at work?"

He smiles at me and continues to stroke my forehead. "Because there was no way in hell I was leaving you."

I tense up a little bit and he knows why. "Don't worry Livvy, they think I'm golfing."

I relax, "So you're going to stay with me all day?"

"I'm going to stay with you all day." He says, giving me one of his beautiful grins.

"Do you need anything Livvy? How about some food?"

I shake my head, "Just some more water please?" I ask, motioning to the empty glass on my bedside table.

"As you wish." He says, grabbing the glass and heading out of my room to fill it up.

He comes back a moment later and he sits down next to me and helps me sit up a little straighter so that I can take a sip.

When I am finished he sets the glass on the bedside table and puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him.

I wrap my arm around his torso and we fall into a comfortable silence.

After a little while I look up at him, "You looked sad." I say, breaking the silence.

"What?" Fitz asks, looking at me, confusion evident on his face.

"You looked kind of sad when you told me the test was negative."

He sighs and turns toward me, "Honestly, I was a little bit. All I could think about all day at work was what it would be like if we did make a baby and…and it made me happy. I just haven't realized how lonely I've been for the last decade and you've made me remember what it's like to be with someone and I thought about how adding another someone to that would be…great. And, I know it's not the right time but I just, I'm serious about you Olivia. This isn't a fling and I just…I hope you feel that way as well."

I turn my head to look at him and I scoot myself up a little bit so that I can kiss him lightly, "Of course I feel that way."

He smiles back at me and we fall into comfortable silence again.

Of course I can't let it go on too long and brain is buzzing with new questions that I can't help myself from asking.

"How many babies do you want?" I ask, I don't know why I'm prying this much but suddenly I cannot quell my curiosity.

He turns over to me and sends me a devilish smile, "We're talking about this?"

I shrug, "Technically you brought it up."

He laughs, "All right, I always wanted four, a big brood of kids because it was just me when I was a kid and it got lonely."

My eyes go wide, "Hmm, four kids."

Fitz laughs at me.

"Didn't Mellie want kids?" I ask timidly.

Fitz shakes his head, "Not really, and I sort of stopped wanting kids pretty quickly after we got married, but I think that was more about me just not wanting kids with her anymore. When we got divorced it all kind of came back to me."

"You guys have been divorced for a long time, how come you didn't find someone else during that time?"

"Because once you've been married and you realize what love isn't, you become acutely aware of all the things that you don't want in a relationship and I just, I realized I didn't want to settle for someone I wasn't truly in love with."

"And you don't want to have kids with someone you aren't in love with."

"Right." Fitz says, nodding his head.

Fitz has just indirectly admitted that he's in love with me and it's making me very nervous so I think about how I can change the subject.

"Well, as someone who has two sisters I can tell you that I'm very glad I have them, but there were moments I absolutely hated having them growing up."

"So which sister do you get along with best?"

"Honestly, Caroline. I think Victoria and I were too close in age growing up. She's only two years older than me and only one grade older than me so we were in a lot of the same activities and had a lot of the same friends, even liked a few of the same boys, that was never fun. With Caroline there was no overlap like that so it was a little easier. Was it hard not having siblings? I imagine it would have been nice to not have to share everything or have anyone stealing your clothes and hogging all the attention but at the same time I don't think I'd ever trade my sisters for anything."

Fitz laughs, "Well I spent a lot of time with my cousin Charlotte, she's about six months older than me and she's like a sister to me."

"That's nice. Kind of like a pseudo-sibling. I reach my hand up and run it through his already mussed up hair, "You look handsome even with bed head."

He reaches down and caresses my face, "And you're beautiful even after you've spent an entire day puking."

I roll over onto my back and away from Fitz, putting my hands over my face. "I am so sorry you had to witness that. I am so humiliated."

Fitz turns over and drapes an arm over my torso, "Liv, it happens, I'm sure it's going to happen again and I'm sure you'll get the pleasure of nursing me back to health sometime too."

I take a deep breath, "Fitz, this scares me."

His head is resting on my sternum and he lifts it up slightly in order to talk to me.

"That's okay, Livvy. It's okay to be scared."

I look down at him, "I'm just, I'm wondering how I got to this place and what I did to deserve you and when this bubble is going to burst and you're going to realize that you can do so much better than me."

Fitz scoots himself up my body so that he can prop his head on up on the pillow where mine is and he turns my face with his other hand. "I don't know what happened to you, how you ever convinced yourself that you aren't worthy of love, but I am here to tell you that you need to get over that because I am not going anywhere."

I look away from him for a minute so that I can compose myself because there are tears threatening my eyes.

"Fitz, you are seventeen years older than me. And before you cut me off and tell you how it doesn't bother you I need to say something. I know that it doesn't bother you and it doesn't bother me either but it bothering us isn't really the issue. The issue is that seventeen years presents us with certain…difficulties."

Fitz has an annoying grin on his face like he thinks I'm being ridiculous, "Difficulties?"

I roll my eyes and turn over on my side so that I am facing him directly. "Yes, and don't be condescending." I take a deep breath, "I am twenty-six years old, I do want kids but I don't want them right now. I don't even want them in the next few years. I never imagined having kids until I was in my thirties. Honestly, I never even saw myself getting married until I was at least thirty."

I pause for a moment to get a read off Fitz, his eyes are narrowed and he's concentrating hard on what I'm saying.

"If I am thirty years old that puts you at forty-seven. I just…I don't want you to have any regrets. I mean even if we did make it that far I probably won't be ready to have kids for a few more years. Do you really want to start having kids when you are fifty? I just don't want you to look back on your life and regret that you waited so long for me."

Fitz is now grinning at me again, that goofy know-it-all grin that I love and hate all at the same time.

"Is this funny, Mr. Grant?" I say, trying to be serious but I'm starting to crack a smile myself.

"You really think I care about any of that? I'm fine with being a Dad for the first time at fifty. Hell, I'll wait to marry you until I turn fifty if that's what you want. I've been divorced for a long time, if all I was concerned about was getting married and having kids at a certain age then I would have just married someone I could have tolerated but I didn't do that. I don't care what age I get married or have kids at, the most important thing to me is that I'm doing it with the person I love."

I'm sure I look ridiculous staring at Fitz with this dumbfounded look on my face but I have no words.

He puts his hand on my cheek and strokes it with his thumb.

After a moment I finally find some words even if it is simply, "Okay."

"Okay." Fitz says back, the beautiful grin on his face making me smile too.


	21. Chapter 21

_"They were smiling at each other as if this was the beginning of the world."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love of the Last Tycoon_

* * *

Fitz barges into my office around ten o'clock on a Tuesday morning with a huge grin on his face. I look up from my computer and I can't help but laugh at him.

Instead of sitting in one of the chairs across from my desk he comes over to me and pushes my chair away from my desk and sits down next to my keyboard, then pulling my chair in between his legs.

I continue laugh because he looks ridiculously chipper. "Um, what is with you, you're in a strangely good mood?"

He laughs at me and then pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to me.

On his screen there is a webpage open, it's to a vineyard in Carmel called the Chateau Adelina. I scroll down the page and look at a few pictures; it looks like a fairy tale.

I look up at Fitz, who is still grinning like a madman, "What is this?"

"This is where we are spending our Saturday."

I look up at him, "Seriously?"

He nods and takes his phone back, putting it in his pocket. "Yep, we're driving down to Carmel and we are going to spend a glorious Saturday night walking through the vineyards, touring the chateau, tasting wines, and having a gourmet dinner."

I'm looking up at him and I don't really know what to say, I know we mentioned a weekend away together a couple weeks ago but we never really talked about it any more or made any definitive plans so I'm a little overjoyed that he was serious about it.

"That sounds…amazing. Carmel is my _favorite_ city." I say, standing up and giving him a hug.

Fitz puts his arms around my waist, "Imagine you and me, away together, no one knows us, we can act like a normal couple. You can wear a ridiculously sexy dress to dinner and I can leer at you openly."

I start to laugh as Fitz continues to talk, "We can stroll through the vineyards and I can hold your hand. We can stand too close together when we get a tour of the winery."

He has pulled me closer to him and has started to place light kisses down my neck. "I can even kiss you in public."

I start to laugh harder and I push myself away from him, "That sounds glorious, but you need to get off my desk before someone catches us."

Fitz pretends to pout, "Thanks for ruining my romantic moment."

"By that you mean your attempt to get into my pants at work again?" I snort.

Fitz smirks and stands up, taking a step closer to me and tugging at the side of my skirt lightly. "Actually, my plan was to get up your skirt."

I swat his hand away and roll my eyes as I sit back down in my chair, "Lovely. So is this place a hotel or just a place where we're spending the day?"

"It's not a hotel; we're just going to be spending the afternoon there."

"So we don't have to leave too early Saturday, do we? I mean, Carmel isn't even an hour and half drive from here."

Fitz laughs, "Nope, we're going up on Friday night after work. I have a house up there so that's where we'll stay."

I smirk at him and shake my head dramatically, "Of _course _you have a house in Carmel."

He places his hands on the armrest of my chair and leans forward, cocking his head to the side, "I have several houses. If I take you to one further away can we have sex in the office?"

I burst out laughing and shove him away from me, "Seriously, you are a pervert. A huge pervert."

He's grinning at me, "True."

I roll my eyes, "Okay, leave me alone so I can get my work done!" I say as I pull my chair back to my desk.

Fitz sighs in defeat, "Fine, I'll go back to my office but sooner or later I'm going to get into your pants at work and you're going to like it."

I whip a pen at him and he barely dodges it, laughing as he sneaks through the door and back into his office.

Friday finally comes and we manage to leave San Jose by 5:45 after a quick stop at my apartment to grab my things and change out of our work clothes.

A little over an hour later I am skipping down the pier in Monterey because I'm thrilled that Fitz caved and stopped so we could eat copious amounts of clam chowder.

He's laughing at me as I grab samples from all the different restaurants along the pier.

We eat a quick dinner and we head out by 7 PM. It's a fairly short drive to Carmel from there and thankfully it is still pretty light out when we arrive.

Fitz turns onto a road right along the coast and we drive a ways until we hit a gate. He enters a code into the gate and it opens for us, leading us down a driveway.

My mouth drops open when I see the house. It's enormous and it's absolutely breathtaking. It's modern with sharp angles and not much detailing except the beautiful glass windows as far as the eye can see.

"Oh my god." I exclaim.

Fitz pulls the car into the garage and we get out.

"Oh my god. Seriously Fitz, this place is insane. I mean, I don't even want to know how much this place cost you because I'm pretty sure it would make me faint."

Fitz laughs and shakes his head, "You want the full tour?" He asks, holding his hand out for me to take it.

He gives me the tour; the house is all whites and beiges with blues and greens accenting them. It's typical beach décor but it's not at all tacky, it's subtle and classy and gorgeous. There are floor to ceiling windows all throughout the house so you get incredible views of the ocean and you can even see the links at Pebble Beach in the distance.

We walk outside and there is an amazing fire pit and luxurious lounge chairs on the patio looking out over the ocean. There is even a staircase leading down to the beach and another bonfire pit and a beautiful tiered pool off to the side of the house.

"How long have you had this place?" I say, turning to look at him, my hair blowing in the wind and getting all over the place.

Fitz puts his hands in his pockets and looks down at the ground. "I bought it about five years ago. I was having a hard time, I didn't think I was ever going to find someone and I wanted to buy a house, a house that I could one day bring my family to. A house where my kids would look forward to spending weekends at and think of as their escape from everything. I bought this house because it seemed like a promise to myself. A promise that one day I would have someone to share it with, someone to escape with."

I walk over to him and I wrap my arms around his torso, "You're very romantic, you know that?"

He wraps an arm around my shoulders, "I know."

I look up at him, "So that bed upstairs looked pretty comfortable."

He starts to laugh, "Are you propositioning me?"

I take his face in my hands and get up on my tiptoes to kiss him, "Definitely."

He pulls me up and I wrap my legs around him. I am wearing loose, light colored jeans that are rolled up around my ankles and a white, off the shoulder, loose knit sweater with a navy blue tank top underneath.

Fitz is looking gorgeous, as usual, in dark wash jeans and a light blue button up. I love that he dresses well; it's such a turn on.

His hands are gripping my bum and holding me up against him as he carries me up the stairs to the bedroom.

We get to the bedroom and I have somehow managed to unbutton his shirt all the way.

We get into the room and he shuts the door behind us, pressing my back up against it.

I manage to push his shirt off his shoulders and I go to work on unfastening his pants.

Fitz's hands are up my shirt and his mouth makes its way down to my neck. He releases my legs so that I can stand upright on the floor again and I yank his pants down, making him laugh.

He then kicks them off and goes to work on my pants while I throw my shirt and tank top across the room.

Fitz is kneeling in front of me and kissing my stomach as he unbuttons and unzips my pants and pulls them down and helps me step out of them.

Fitz then lifts up one of my legs and hooks it around his shoulder and his mouth finds my center.

I lean against the door and I close my eyes as his mouth continues its spectacular work between my legs.

I'm gripping his hair with my hands and trying not to grip it too hard but his mouth is just so talented and I'm about to fall apart.

My orgasm hits me hard and I'd fall over if Fitz didn't catch me. He picks me up and brings me over to the bed and lays me down on it, covering my body with his own.

His breath is hot against my neck and his hands are running down my sides and making my whole body tingle. My hands are around his neck, gripping his strong back.

I can feel him between my legs and I wrap my legs around him so I can pull him even closer to me.

He lifts his head up and he's smiling at me and I'm smiling back at him and this feels so right, like he's everything. We could stay here together in this bubble for the rest of our lives and I would be okay with that because he is all I care about in this moment.

He brings his lips to mine once again and now our tongues are dueling and it's hot and heavy and perfect.

His hand finds my neck and he lifts my head up a little and puts his other hand on the pillow in order to brace himself.

Eventually he starts to kiss back down my neck and to my chest again. He sits up after a moment and he runs his hands down my thighs and across my stomach and then lines himself up with my core and thrusts into me.

His body is covering mine once again and his lips are back on mine as he thrusts into me.

My hands find their way down to his muscular butt and they squeeze, making him laugh.

We are lost in a rhythm all our own when I loose myself and let go. Fitz comes soon after and he collapses on top of me and we are both breathing heavily as we try to compose ourselves.

Fitz lifts himself off of me and reaches up so he can toss the decorative pillows off the bed and then pulls the covers down.

I move so that he can pull them under me and then I crawl beneath them as he does and I reach for him so that I can pull my body as close to him as possible.

He kisses my forehead and I bury my head in his neck, taking in a deep breath and letting his scent waft through my nostrils and make me feel so completely content.

"Thank you for bringing me here Fitz." I whisper.

I can feel him smile against my forehead, "You are actually the first person I've ever brought here."

I pull away so I can see his face, "Are you serious?"

He nods his head; "I gutted it after I bought it which took almost two years so I never showed it to anyone during that time and after that it just felt wrong. I didn't want it to be some place I just took my friends and had parties for clients at, I wanted it to be a sanctuary for me and the people I love. So I wanted to wait for the right person."

I don't know what to say so I just kiss him lightly and then I watch him slowly fall asleep.

He's really beautiful. I know that it's strange to say that about a man but it's true in Fitz's case. My favorite feature is his eyes, they're a gorgeous stormy blue and they seem to change color with his emotions. I've never seen eyes on anyone that I think are as beautiful as Fitz's eyes.

I'm pretty sure he's fallen asleep so I run my hand through his hair and I whisper softly, "I'm kind of mad at you Fitzgerald." I say but he doesn't even flinch, he's definitely asleep.

"I'm kind of mad at you because you're making me fall in love with you."

With that I put my head down on the pillow and I let myself drift off to sleep.

I wake up the next morning and Fitz is nowhere to be found.

I sit up in bed and look out the window; it's a gorgeous day out. I get up and if the walls of the entire house weren't basically all windows I'd probably walk around naked. But I don't know how private this area is so I should probably put some clothes on.

I walk into the bathroom and am surprised to find a silk robe folded on the counter and a card sitting on top of it with my name on it. I quickly brush my teeth and put it on. It feels amazing as I put it on and I can't help but run my hands along my arms.

I wander downstairs and I find Fitz shirtless and only wearing pajama pants slung low on his hips as he cooks something on the stove.

"Good morning." I say from the staircase.

Fitz sees me and smiles. "Good morning beautiful."

I walk down the stairs and over to him, I see that he's making pancakes and I can feel my mouth start to water. I didn't realize how hungry I was. I reach him and lean over and kiss him lightly on the cheek as he flips a pancake on the stove.

"This smells amazing. And by the way, thank you for this." I say, motioning to the robe, "Why did you buy this for me?" I ask, hoisting myself up onto the counter next to him so that I can watch him as he cooks.

"You always get so mad when you don't have your robe when you're at my house and then you bring it over and forget it there and then you don't have it at your house and you get mad again. I bought it so you don't have to keep bringing the other one to my house, you can just keep this one there so you have it all the time."

I laugh, "That was very sweet."

He smiles, "I am a very sweet guy."

I roll my eyes, "Humble too. So what are we doing today?"

"Well, I thought we could start out by eating breakfast outside. Then maybe we could go for a walk on the beach. After that I'd like to take you into town and we can look through the shops but around 4 we are going to head over to the Chateau. We are going to stroll through the vineyards and get a tour of the winery and then we are going to eat dinner under the stars. It's going to be very romantic, it will probably be hard for you to keep your hands off me, just thought I'd warn you."

I pinch his shoulder and he squirms away from me, "You are such an ass."

He puts the last of the pancakes on plates and he grabs them in his hands and walks outside where I see he has already set up the table and there is juice, coffee, an assortment of fruit, and a few jars that I assume contain syrup.

I stop in the doorway. It's warm but it's a little breezy and I'm not really sure how private this area is and I'm not exactly covered very well in this robe. "Maybe I should go put some clothes on?"

Fitz sets the plates on the table and then walks over to me and grabs my hand, "Nope, this is our romantic weekend away, house rules are you have to be either naked or in your robe, nothing else."

He pulls me toward a chair by the table and he sits down, pulling me onto his lap.

I laugh, "How long have those rules been enacted?"

He runs a hand down my neck and kisses me lightly, "Since always. This is my naked house. I come here alone and I just walk around naked all the time. I just let it all hang out, right in front of the windows, on the patio, even down at the beach."

I can't stop laughing, "You are so full of shit."

He grins at me and leans in to plant a kiss on me.

I curl into his side, it's easy because this is a fairly large chair with wonderfully fluffy cushions.

I pull my legs up so they are over his and I wrap one arm around his neck and I use the other to grab a fork and get myself a bite of pineapple.

It's juicy and sweet and tastes absolutely delicious. "Mmm Fitz this is amazing." I say as I spear another piece with my fork and bring it up to his mouth.

But he doesn't go for that, instead he brings his mouth to mine and all of a sudden his mouth is hot on mine and his hand makes its way up my robe and I'm lost for a minute in the greatness of this kiss.

I am disappointed when his mouth breaks away from mine, "You're right. That was delicious."

I laugh and roll my eyes at him, "It's probably better when it's not mixed with secondhand spit."

"I like your spit."

I cannot help but laugh, "That's disgusting. You're disgusting."

He shrugs his shoulders and leans forward so grab a fork and we both start to eat.

"So do you come up here alone often?" I ask between bites of food.

"Not as often as I'd like to. My family used to come up here when I was a kid; we would spend almost half the summer here. We actually had a house just down the street from here, I considered buying it but I knew I would end up wanting to gut it and I felt bad doing that. So I found this one and I kept the basic frame of the house but I changed almost everything about it. I wanted it to feel like those early days but at the same time I wanted it to be my own. I wanted to make my own memories here instead of being constantly reminded of all my old ones."

I smile at him, "I'm honored to be the first person you've brought here."

He grins, "Finish your food. You're too skinny."

I roll my eyes but continue to eat.

We finish our breakfast, change into our clothes and take a walk down the beach. It's so nice to be able to act like a couple outside the house and not worry about anyone judging us by our age difference. It's only the beginning of April so it's not too busy on the beach but it is still California and us Californians love our beaches year round so there are still a few people around.

We walk hand in hand along the water, it's freezing but I still like it when it touches my toes and it doesn't take long to adjust to the temperature.

There are people who look at us on the beach but they aren't looking at us in an appalled way like I sometimes fear will happen, like I'm some gold digging whore and Fitz is a cradle-robbing pervert. They don't seem to see our age difference or if they do they just don't care. They look at us like we are a couple in love, and I think maybe we are.

Later that morning we make our way into town and stroll along the downtown streets wandering in and out of the shops.

All of a sudden Fitz stops in front of one and he's staring at the window with his eyes wide open.

I turn my head to see what he is looking at and I realize that it's a dress, a very beautiful dress.

"Come on," he says tugging my hand, "you need that dress."

He pulls me into the boutique and he heads to the rack to look for the dress.

I look around the store, frozen in one spot as he scours the place for the dress.

After a moment he walks over to me with the dress in his hand.

"Livvy, what's wrong?" He asks, the grin on his face fading to a frown when he sees my expression.

I look around to make sure no one is near us before I respond, "Fitz, this is a designer boutique, I can't just afford a dress like that on a whim."

Fitz starts to laugh and shakes his head, "You're not buying this, I am. Come on Livvy, pick out some clothes, I want to buy you things."

I cross my arms over my chest, "That's nice Fitz and I appreciate it but I don't need you to buy me anything."

He's now looking at me like I'm crazy, "I know you don't _need _me to buy you anything, I _want_ to buy you something."

I'm biting my lip because I really don't want to make a scene. "Fitz, come on, I don't want you to buy me anything."

He steps forward and places a hand on my cheek. "Olivia Pope if you do not pick out some clothes to try on then I will grab a bunch of things and just buy them all. Everything."

I don't want to but I can't help it when I crack a small smile.

"Why does me wanting to spend my money on you make you so uncomfortable?" He asks quietly, his eyes narrowing as he tries to read my expression.

I look around to make sure no one is close enough to hear us again, "Because I don't want you to think I'm some kind of gold digger."

Fitz starts to laugh so hard that he actually has to bend over a little bit in order to catch his breath. "Are you serious, Livvy?"

I don't answer verbally but I give him a glare that I know emphasizes how serious I am.

"I know you aren't using me for my money you nut. How could you even think I actually believe that?"

He looks hurt now and I open up my mouth to say I'm sorry but he continues talking.

"When it is so painfully obvious that you are using me for my body?"

I start to laugh when I see his face go from deadly serious to goofy grin, "You are such an ass."

"That may be true, but I'm an ass who knows your feelings for me are genuine and has never once believed—nor ever will believe—that you are using me for my money. Now will you please pick out some clothes before I have to ask one of these sales associates to ring up one of everything?"

I roll my eyes but head toward the racks of clothing to pick some things out.

We look through the racks and I pick a few pieces of clothing to try on only to turn around and realize that Fitz has a whole pile of clothes in his arms too.

"Oh my god Fitzgerald. You cannot be serious?" I say, crossing my arms in front of my body and shooting him an exasperated look.

He just laughs at me, "Oh come on, it'll be fun."

I shake my head, "I'm beginning to think this is all a ruse to get me to take my clothes off."

There's a twinkle in his eye, "You get clothes, I get to stare at you in various stages of undress, we both win."

I roll my eyes again and head back toward the dressing rooms. I'm grateful it's one of those boutiques with great dressing rooms because I've always hated trying on clothes in front of other women; this is thankfully one of those where you have your own private area. There's the actual dressing room part but then there's a private sitting area with a curtain and a full-length mirror. I walk to the one at the very end of the row and through the curtain and into the actual dressing room, I pull Fitz in with me and set my clothes down and then his and wrap my arms around his neck so that our noses are touching.

"You," I whisper, "are sitting out there." I point to a chair just outside the door.

He clutches his chest feigning being wounded and I push him backward out of the dressing room.

"You are evil Ms. Pope, depriving me of you like this is just cruel."

I laugh at him and stick my tongue out before shutting the door and turning around to grab the first outfit and put it on.

It's something Fitz picked out and as I disrobe and put it on I realize it's actually very pretty. It's a long white sleeveless maxi dress that cinches at the waist and has this pretty blue print on it.

I step out of the dressing room shyly to a smiling Fitz.

"I knew that would look gorgeous on you." He says. He is leaning on the armrest of the chair and has chin resting in his hand.

I see the price tag and I turn it around so I can look at it.

My eyes open wide when I see the tag says $300.

"Oh my god Fitz you cannot buy me this." I say, dropping the tag and turning around to go back into the room.

Fitz stands up and catches the door before I can shut it and wraps his arms around me, his mouth finds my ear and he whispers, "Do not look at any more price tags. I am buying you anything you want and if you say you don't want anything in order to get me to not buy you anything, well, that's going to backfire because then I'm just going to buy all of this."

He steps backward and turns me around to face him. "Now try on something else."

I can't help but smile at him as he shuts the door and makes his way out.

This goes on for a little while, I try on dresses and skirts and pants and shirts until there is only one left—the first dress that Fitz picked out.

It's a beautiful dress; it's white lace with three quarter length sleeves. There's a lining in the dress but the lining only covers what it needs to, just the skirt of the dress and the front to just above my chest. The back and the arms are just lace and the white color looks great against my skin.

I poke my head out of the door and see that Fitz is standing only a few feet away.

He cocks his head to the side, "You going to come out so I can see you?"

I flash him a teasing smile and I pause a minute before stepping out.

Fitz's jaw drops open when he gets a look at the dress.

I turn around slowly so he can see it from every angle.

"So what do you think?"

His hand is covering his open mouth and it takes him a minute before he says anything.

"I think that dress was made for you."

I shake my head and look away, "You know what it kind of reminds me of? The dress I wore…"

"The dress you wore to the first client dinner I ever took you to." He interrupts.

We just stand there staring at each other, both of us lost in our own little world.

"Will you wear it to dinner tonight?" He asks quietly, still not taking his eyes off me.

"Of course." I respond, my face unable to do anything but grin at him.

Fitz ends up buying me more clothes than I'm comfortable with but he insists on it and I can't look as the cashier rings them up because I don't even want to know how much money he's spent on me. Plus the cashier is giving me dirty looks out of the corner of her eye, she's clearly wondering what Fitz is doing with me but I don't even care because while she's obviously flirting with Fitz he isn't giving her anything back.

We head home and start getting ready for our night. Normally I would just get ready in front of Fitz but tonight I made him get out of the bathroom so I could get ready alone because even though he saw me wearing it in the store I want to surprise him with the full image of me all made up with the dress on.

I also want to surprise him with the sexy backless bustier top I thankfully brought with me, since the dress I was initially going to wear didn't have a back either, and the sexy lacy underwear I bought on Thursday just for this weekend.

I move to leave the bathroom and poke my head out and see Fitz sitting on the bed, waiting patiently for me. "Fitz, close your eyes." I say, pulling my head back into the bathroom.

He laughs at me and I stomp my foot on the ground, "Fitz, come on, do it!"

He laughs again, "Okay, okay my eyes are closed."

I poke my head out again and his eyes are definitely closed. I walk out of the bathroom and stand before him. "Okay, you can open your eyes."

He opens them and his mouth drops. He grabs my hands and pulls me so that I am standing between his legs.

He runs his hands down my sides, "Livvy, you look absolutely gorgeous."

I hike my dress further up my thighs so that I can straddle his lap and I bend down to kiss him, taking his face in my hands.

Before I know it Fitz has flipped me over onto my back and has my dress up around my waist. He slowly pulls my underwear down and all of a sudden his mouth is between my legs.

I am moaning within seconds from the glorious work his mouth is doing. He has one hand splayed over my pelvis and the other is around my thigh to hold me steady.

I grab a pillow and put it over my face so that it muffles my screams of pleasure. Men must just have an innate talent for this, either they are born knowing how to do it well or they aren't. I'm pretty sure there's no in between.

I find my release and Fitz rides it out with me slowly. I'm breathing heavily and Fitz crawls up the bed and pulls the pillow off my face and leans in and gives me a long kiss. I can taste myself on him and I moan when he pulls away.

He's grinning wickedly at me, "Time to leave!" And he jumps up off the bed.

I groan, "You're going to kill me. Seriously, how did you get so good at that?" I say as I sit up.

Fitz turns to look at me and extends his hand to help me stand up. "Didn't we establish it's just my superpower?" He pulls me to him and kisses me lightly. "Okay, we actually do need to go now."

I bend down to fix my dress and grab my purse. "Let's go, boyfriend." I say with a grin.

Less than twenty minutes later Fitz and I pull up to the Chateau, it's breathtaking, almost like a fairy tale. There are vineyards as far the eye can see and the buildings make me feel like I'm a princess coming home to her castle. He parks the car and we get out. This place is so beautiful, tucked between the mountains and I feel like we've left the real word because this place is so unbelievably perfect that it must only exist in my imagination.

I can't stop turning around because I want to look at everything. Fitz is just looking at me and laughing, "So what do you think?"

I turn to look at him and I throw my hands up in the air, "I don't, I don't even have words. This place is incredible. It's like something out of a fairy tale."

"Maybe like something out of The Princess Bride?" He teases.

I can feel my cheeks get warm, "How do you know I like The Princess Bride?"

He puts his hands in his pockets and takes a shy step toward me. "You're not exactly good at hiding your love of it. There's about six copies of the movie on your DVD rack, there are several copies of the novel hidden in with all the copies of your Fitzgerald novels, and you have a movie poster hiding behind your door."

I bite my lip; I didn't realize Fitz paid that much attention to what's in my room.

"Oh, right, I didn't think you'd notice that stuff."

Fitz gently moves a loose strand of hair out of my face, "It's important to you, I noticed."

I'm smiling at him and I reach my hand up to cover his hand that's cupping my cheek.

Before I can say anything I see a short man make his way out of the building. He runs over to Fitz. He's wearing a chef's hat and he is a bit stout and has a huge smile on his face. "Fitzgerald Grant! It is wonderful to see you!" He says in a thick French accent and proceeds to give Fitz a long hug.

"Hey, Hugo, it's great to see you." Fitz says with a smile as he hugs the man.

Hugo pulls back from Fitz and looks at me, "I am so rude, Fitzgerald, who is this absolutely stunning woman you have with you?"

Fitz wraps an arm around me and pulls me to his side, "This, Hugo, is my girlfriend Olivia. Olivia, this is Hugo Audette, his family owns the Chateau and he is the chef here."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." I say, extending my hand but Hugo ignores it and goes in for a hug. "It is wonderful to meet you Olivia, such a beautiful name for such a beautiful woman. You are like a princess my dear! A very young princess." He adds, winking at Fitz.

I blush and turn my head away but of course Hugo sees anyway. "Don't be bashful, I am French, Olivia. The French know that love doesn't have anything to do with age. We are attracted to souls, not to numbers."

I'm blushing again but this time it's not by what Hugo has said it's because Fitz is looking at me with that gorgeous grin he rarely uses for anyone except me.

"I couldn't agree more, Hugo." Fitz says, never once taking his eyes off me.

A minute later a woman comes out of the building and she introduces herself as Adelina.

"You're who the Chateau is named after?" I ask, sort of in awe.

Adelina smiles and puts her arm around Hugo and kisses him on the cheek.

They are an adorable couple, I'd guess they're in their upper sixties. They are both rather short and they both have silvery grey hair.

"I am." She says, "Hugo bought this vineyard as a surprise on my forty-fifth birthday. We had talked about leaving France and moving here for so many years and I didn't think we'd do it until we were much older but then he bought this vineyard and he drove me here and he told me he was renaming it the Chateau Adelina and he was going to make it look like a cottage in the French countryside so we would never get homesick."

"Wow, that's incredible." I say, floored by Adelina's romantic tale.

"I got lucky." Adelina says, turning to look at Hugo and I squeeze Fitz's hand.

He smiles down at me and intertwines our fingers together.

Hugo starts to speak; "We have known Fitzgerald since he was a young boy. We met his family while we were vacationing here, oh how long ago was it Fitzgerald?"

Fitz laughs, "Hugo you're going to make me seem old."

Hugo waves Fitz off with his hands and I laugh.

"We met Fitzgerald for the first time when he was twelve years old." Adelina cuts in, "That was over thirty years ago."

"I bet he was a cute kid." I say in an attempt to tease him because I just love that he's embarrassed.

Adelina claps her hands together and starts to laugh, "He was an adorable little boy and always so sweet. He was a little prince; he's still a prince. You're a very lucky girl."

Now I'm blushing again, "I agree."

Hugo and Adelina give us a tour, they tell us the history of the winery and they show us how the wine is made.

Hugo announces that he must go in and start to cook dinner and Adelina goes with, leaving Fitz and I to stroll around the vineyard together.

We walk around silently, hand in hand, just taking in the beautiful scenery around us.

After a little while I stop and step in front of him and grab his other hand.

"I can't believe you did this for me." I say, staring into his beautiful blue eyes.

"Seriously Fitz, I have never had anyone treat me this way. I've never had anyone try this hard to get to know me. I don't…I don't know how to do this, I don't know how not to be scared. But…but I think I'm okay with being scared, I'm okay with being scared because I trust you and I want to be with you and I am willing to risk everything to be with you. My heart belongs to you, it does, I'd like to be able to deny that but I can't anymore. And I am terrified, absolutely terrified that one day you're going to wake up and realize that I'm not worth all this hassle but I just…" I'm starting to sob now, "I just…I need you to know how I feel about you. I need you to know that my heart is in your hands, I'm giving you the power to break it but I really hope you won't."

Fitz is just smiling at me and I'm almost confused for a minute until he leans into me, his hands let go of mine and come up to my face, brushing away the tears from my eyes.

"Olivia, I love you."

I want to respond but for some reason I can't stop crying.

Fitz pulls me into his arms, wrapping them around my neck and letting me cry into his chest.

He kisses the side of my head and starts to speak quietly into my ear, "I love you Livvy. I'm completely, madly in love with you. And it's okay if you aren't ready to say the words back to me, it's okay. I understand, I don't expect anything from you Livvy, I just needed you to know because I can't hide it any longer."

I'm finally able to catch my breath and I pull back from Fitz just enough to look him in the eye.

I take a deep breath before I speak, "I love you too. I'm in love with you too."

Fitz's concerned smile turns into his gorgeous thousand-watt grin and he leans in, his lips crash against mine and his hands move to my cheeks.

His tongue slowly parts my lips and he's just kissing me and it's wonderful. His hands move down to my waist and pull my body up against his and I'm grateful because at this point I think my legs are so wobbly that if he wasn't holding onto me I would fall over.

We finally break apart for air and I stare up into his eyes once again and I just start to laugh.

He smiles at me but also looks confused by my reaction.

"You are in love with me." I say and for some reason I just cannot stop laughing.

Thankfully Fitz doesn't seem to mind, "I am in love with you." He says, running a hand through my now messed up hair.

"And I am in love with you." I say, finally starting to calm down.

Fitz just keeps grinning at me, "You are in love with me."

I've stopped laughing completely and finally manage to be serious, "I am in love with you."

He gets serious now too, "I don't think any words have ever sounded as beautiful to me as those."

I smile and run my hand down his cheek and I lean in to kiss him again.

Fitz and I have our dinner at the vineyard and it is absolutely wonderful. We take a gorgeous stroll through the vineyard lit by paper lanterns over our heads and then we head back to Fitz's house.

We don't talk much on the way home because I think we both just instinctively know what we want to do and it's not talk.

We make our way into the house and head upstairs.

I drop my purse on a chair and I take off my shoes. Fitz takes off his shoes too and then turns around to face me.

I climb on the bed and kneel on the edge and I hold my hand out for him to grab.

He takes it and walks over to me, moving his arms down my sides and grasping the hem of my dress with both hands.

He slowly pulls the dress over my head and he runs his hands down my sides once again.

I reach up and undo his tie, tossing it on the floor, and then I start to unbutton his oxford and one of his hands finds its way up to my cheek and he leans in to kiss me.

He lifts me up off the bed and gently lies me down on my back, pressing his body against my own.

My hands are now running through his hair and I'm wrapping my legs around his waist.

I manage to find the buttons on his shirt once again and I slowly but surely get them all unbuttoned and I push the shirt off his shoulders.

He sits up and takes his shirt all the way off and tosses it on the floor and then he starts to undo his pants and slips them off quickly, tossing them on the floor as well.

He's just in his briefs now and I'm just in my underwear. His hands reach behind my back and unbook the bustier then they remove it from my body.

His mouth finds my breasts and I arch my back, moaning as his mouth works his magic.

He kisses his way down my stomach and stops at my panty line. He's teasing me by kissing all along my panties but not taking them off.

But I've had enough of his teasing so I decide to take matters into my own hands.

I reach down and grab his shoulders and pull him up and then I use my legs to flip him totally over on his back.

Fitz starts to laugh, "God, that was sexy." He says, grabbing my face and pulling me down to kiss him.

I pull back after a moment and he frowns which makes me laugh.

"I'm in charge now Mr. Grant." I say as seductively as I can, "Just lie back and relax."

I push him down so he is lying flat on the bed and I start to kiss my way down his chest but when I get to his boxers, I don't stop. I hook my fingers into his briefs and I slide them down his legs. I toss them to the side and my hand finds his member and starts to stroke him lightly.

He groans and I laugh before I take him in my mouth. Fitz may have a super power but he's not the only one who can work some magic with his mouth.

"God Olivia what are you doing to me." He moans.

I continue to pleasure him with my mouth and after a bit I can tell that he's close.

All of a sudden he sits up and he grabs me under my shoulders and pulls me up his body. "Okay, you need to stop or else this night is going to be over very quickly."

I laugh as I start to kiss him and I can now feel him hard against my stomach.

I break away from him and quickly take my underwear off and then reposition myself above him. I find him again with my hand but this time I sink down onto him.

I stay still for a moment to catch my breath and then I start to move.

Fitz has one hand on my thigh and the other is splayed across my abdomen and he starts to thrust his hips slowly and it seems like I can feel him all the way through my body.

I lean forward and my lips find his again and I pick up my thrusts. I can tell he's close by the way his breath is hitching and I am close too.

Fitz knows this because he flips me over so that he's on top of me. He grabs one of my legs pushes it back so the angle he's thrusting at is unbelievably good.

I finally let go and Fitz follows soon after and collapses on top of me. We both catch our breaths and Fitz slides off me and pulls me in close to his body.

"I love you Livvy." He whispers in my ear.

I intertwine my fingers with his, "I love you too, Fitz."

And soon after we both fall into a deep sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

_"They had never been closer in their month of love, nor communicated more profoundly with one another, than when she brushed silent lips against his coat's shoulder or when he touched the end of her fingers, gently, as though she were asleep."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

I wake up the next morning and the sunlight is illuminating everything in the room in a brilliant way.

I look over and see that Fitz is still sleeping contentedly next to me with his arm draped over my torso.

I turn over slightly and run my fingers over his taunt back muscles and just watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful.

After a little while his eyes start to flutter and he sees me and a smile forms on his face.

He doesn't lift his head off the pillow but I feel the arm around my torso grip my side and slide me over so our bodies are touching again.

"Good morning." He says, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

I run my hand through his mussed up hair and I hook my left leg around his right one so that our bodies are even closer together.

Suddenly I feel him against my thigh, "Good morning Mr. Grant, seems you're happy to see me."

He starts to kiss my neck and collarbone and softly whispers, "I'm always happy to see you."

All of a sudden my stomach emits a loud growl, effectively ruining our moment.

Fitz starts to laugh, "I should probably make you some breakfast, shouldn't I?"

I cover my mouth and start to laugh, nodding my head in agreement with him.

He gets up off the bed and he grabs my hand, pulling me up too.

I put my robe on and Fitz puts a pair of boxers on and we head downstairs where we proceed to make ourselves breakfast. We take our food outside and instead of eating at the table Fitz takes me around to the side yard by the pool and over to a huge lounge piece near the first tier of the pool.

We sit down on the enormous piece of furniture, make ourselves comfortable and start eating our breakfast.

"What's on your mind Livvy?" Fitz asks me.

I've just been grinning at him since we sat down so I assume he wants an explanation.

I look away and shake my head, "Um, nothing, its nothing."

Fitz reaches over and grabs my chin so he can turn my head toward him. "Olivia Pope, spill it."

I start to laugh again, "Okay, but you have to be nice about it."

He gives me a confused look, "I am _always_ nice."

I roll my eyes, "Okay, so I have never…" I pause because I'm getting a little nervous; "I have never said I love you to anyone, other than family members and my best friends that is." I'm cringing as I say these words, like I expect him to think I am a complete freak now that he knows this.

"So I'm your first. I'm the first man you've ever said 'I love you' to." He's just grinning at me, this crazy, goofy grin on his face.

I just nod my head in response.

Fitz leans over toward me and puts his hand on my neck. "That's not a bad thing, Livvy. In fact I love that I'm the only person you've ever said it to."

"So you don't think I'm a freak for never saying it before? I mean my best friend in high school dropped it like two months into dating her first boyfriend and I just…I thought that was insane! And so I told myself that I was going to wait to say it until I knew I meant it, until I knew that I was sure because it's a big deal."

Fitz laughs, "I definitely do not think you're a freak. And I agree with you, it is a big deal. Words are only as meaningful as you make them and you wanted your first 'I love you' to be special. I get that and I'm overjoyed that I'm the recipient of those words."

I lean in to kiss him, "I love you."

I can feel his grin against my mouth, "I love you."

We finish eating our breakfast and we just lie down on the lounge and are lazy for a little while.

After I bit I turn to Fitz, "Is your pool heated?"

"Yeah, do you want to swim?"

I nod my head and Fitz gets up off the lounge and grabs my hand, pulling me up with him.

"Let's swim then." He says, dropping his boxers right in front of me.

My eyes go wide and I think my jaw has hit the floor, "Fitz, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm skinny dipping. Come on, take that robe off and let's go!"

I pull my robe tighter over my body, "No way, I'm not skinny dipping, someone could see us!"

Fitz laughs, "We are in a totally secluded area, no one is going to see us. Come on Livvy, it'll be fun." He says, winking at me.

I start to untie my robe but stop myself before I pull it off, "I swear to god Fitz, if anyone sees us you are not getting into my pants for a month."

He pulls me to him and takes my hands off the tie on my robe and starts to slide it off my body, "I promise you no one will see us."

And just as he drops my robe to the ground he swiftly picks me up and throws me into the pool, jumping in after me.

I stand up in the water and I shake my head in disbelief, "Seriously? Seriously Fitz? Do you get off on throwing me in pools or something?" I'm trying hard to be serious but I can't help myself when I start to laugh.

"It's just so easy. You're so tiny and light I just get a gigantic urge to toss you in the pool. Plus it's just more fun that way."

I swim over to him and put my arms around his neck, "You're lucky I love you."

He kisses me softly, "I am lucky you love me."

Fitz and I spend the rest of our morning in the pool and then we head into town for lunch because Fitz wants to take me to his favorite restaurant downtown.

We walk into a very cute little restaurant. It's a seafood restaurant and has a gorgeous view of the ocean from where it sits above the cliffs.

Fitz gets us a special table at the corner of the eating area. It's right along the edge of the deck and therefore gives an absolutely perfect and completely unobstructed view of the ocean.

The table has two chairs but also meets up with padded bench on the edge of the deck. Fitz and I both sit on the padded bench so that we can sit next to each other and he rests his arm around me.

We settle in and order our food, Fitz gets mahi mahi and I decide on some fish tacos. We are eating and making small talk when all of a sudden Fitz says, "So I got a call from Cyrus on Thursday."

I continue eating my food like it's nothing, "What did he have to say?"

"He actually called to talk about you."

I stop eating and turn so that I am facing Fitz, "He called to talk about me?"

Fitz nods his head, "He did, he wanted to tell me that he's almost positive he's going to have an opening on his staff in July."

My eyes are wide with shock, "July, wow that's in three months."

Fitz continues talking, "He's not one hundred percent positive but barring any issues, he's pretty sure he's going to have an opening in July and he wants you."

I take a deep breath, "Wow, that is awesome…but kind of terrifying."

Fitz smiles, "You've got three months to prepare, you can do it."

I reach over and grab his hand, "I'm not really scared to take the job, I mean, being a journalist is all I've ever wanted to do. What's going to be hard is leaving you."

Fitz pulls my hand into his lap, "Hey, you're not going to be leaving me. You'll leave the office but you're not leaving me."

I smile at him; "We can tell people about us, after I've started working there for a little while. We can finally tell people about us. I mean, if you want to that is…"

Fitz grins at me, "Of course I want to tell people about us, I want to tell everyone about us."

I squeeze his hand, "But now we _really_ can't tell anyone about us until I leave. I don't want Cyrus to think you recommended me because we were sleeping together."

Fitz frowns, "Well, that wouldn't be true anyway. I gave him your portfolio long before we slept together for the first time."

"Fitz, I didn't mean it that way."

He turns to look at his plate and he nods, "I know, but you know I didn't give him your portfolio in hopes that you would be so grateful that you'd sleep with me, right?"

I nod my head, "I know that."

Fitz and I spend the rest of the afternoon downtown and then head back to the house. We eat a light dinner and are lounging outside reading when I notice Fitz keeps checking his watch.

I put my book down, "Are you waiting for another girlfriend or something?"

Fitz looks over at me in surprise and then starts to laugh, "I have a surprise for you and it should be here soon."

"Is that surprise another girlfriend? Because I am not having a threesome." I tease.

Fitz stands up and leans over to kiss my forehead, "You are a twisted woman, Olivia Pope. I will be right back."

I narrow my eyes at him as he walks away and into the house. A few minutes later he comes back outside.

"Follow me."

I give him a skeptical look, "You're going to kill me and then eat me for dinner aren't you?"

He starts to laugh and grabs my hand, pulling me up off the lounge. "Twisted. You are dark and twisted."

He leads me inside and into a room off the den that looks like it's normally a small sitting room but right now it has two massage tables set up and candles all over the place. There are also two women standing in the room.

"Massages?" I ask, looking over to him.

He smiles, "Yeah, is that okay?"

I wrap my arms around his neck and whisper in his ear, "Yes, thank you."

Later that night after our massages Fitz and I are lounging on the sofa in his den, mindlessly watching television.

I'm wearing only my robe and Fitz is wearing only pajama pants because we were so comfortable after our massages that we couldn't bare putting real clothes back on.

I turn my head so I can see Fitz and I lean it against the back of the sofa.

Fitz notices I'm looking at him and he turns his head to face me too and moves his hand so that he's softly massaging my scalp.

I just smile at him, staring into his beautiful eyes, and he just smiles back and we just stay like that for a little while.

"You know," I say, breaking the silence, "we've been sitting here half naked and all oiled up for like an hour and a half and you have yet to make a move on me."

Fitz laughs, "Well, maybe I was just waiting for you to make a move."

I lean forward to kiss his lips softly, "You mean like this?" I whisper.

His hand finds my cheek and he pulls me back toward him, "Or like this." He says as his tongue parts my lips and finds my tongue.

I giggle as his body gets closer and closer to mine and the kiss gets deeper and deeper.

"What about this?" I say as I undo the belt on my robe and let it fall open.

Fitz groans into my mouth and he pushes me backward onto the sofa and my robe falls apart and he starts to kiss his way down my jaw and my neck but pauses at my collarbone. He's placing hot and wet kisses all along my collarbone but just stays there, hovering over me and making me want him more and more by the minute.

My hands head for his pants and undo the drawstring so they fall down to his knees. I then reach up to find his hair and I can't stop myself from moaning as he continues to fixate his efforts on my collarbone.

"Fitz, you're driving me crazy." I manage to spit out, panting.

He lifts his head up and I moan at the lack of contact, making him grin like a madman.

"Just relax and let me work my magic." He says with a very confident look on his face.

I roll my eyes, "You're going to kill me."

He flashes me an evil grin but immediately puts his head back down and starts to work on my breasts. He has one nipple in his mouth and I'm arching my back because his tongue really must be magic.

He finishes up and starts to move down to my stomach. He slowly kisses his way down my body and pauses on my belly button giving it special attention.

I arch up into his mouth once again and he pushes my body back down softly with his hand.

"Fiiitz." I moan.

He moves his mouth down to my hipbones and caresses them gently with his lips and tongue.

This slow pace is actually going to drive me insane. "Fitz, please." I beg.

Now his mouth is on my pelvis, right above where I want him most.

"Oh my god Fitz, _please_."

"I love it when you beg, Livvy. It's sexy." He says, his breath hot against my center.

My pelvis involuntarily arches upward, "Fitz, Fitz please. I _need_ you."

"Well, I can't deny a beautiful woman when she _needs_ me." Fitz teases and finally his mouth finds me right where I need him.

I'm already so over-stimulated that it doesn't take long for Fitz and his superpower to send me over the edge.

I'm panting as I try to catch my breath and Fitz slides his way up my body and props his head on his arm so he's just looking at me and smiling.

I finally catch my breath and turn to look at him, that devious grin plastered on his face.

"I would love to make a comment about the size of your ego right now but I can't because you really just are that good."

Fitz just continues to grin at me and moves so he's sitting upright, he then grabs me and pulls me up with him so that I am now straddling his lap.

I let my body sink down into his lap and I immediately feel his hardness pulsating at my core. I look up at him and he's still grinning at me.

"You're in charge now." He says, running his hands along my sides.

I bite my bottom lip and try not to smile but I can't help myself. I slide my robe off my arms, toss it on the floor and start to place kisses along his jaw, I'd like to torture him the way he just tortured me but I can't bring myself to do it because I want him so badly.

My lips find his and he starts to kiss me back, our tongues are dueling and I feel like I don't need to ever come up for air.

I reach my hand down in between us and I start to stroke his member between our bodies.

He's moaning into my mouth, "Oh god, Livvy."

I smile; I love that I can elicit these sounds from him.

I pull away from him and I lift my body up off his thighs and I position myself above him.

I'm gripping his shoulders as I sink down onto him. He grasps my hips as he guides me down and I just sit there for a minute and then I start to move.

Fitz groans and leans his head back against the sofa for a minute before leaning forward again and finding my lips with his own.

He's kissing me and his hands are helping my body move up and down and everything is building up inside of me and I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to go.

I pull my lips away from his and I bury my head in his shoulder, biting it lightly as I hold tightly onto him.

He's breathing heavily now and I whisper in his ear, "Are you," I have to pause to catch my breath, "are you close?" I manage to spit out.

He nods his head and his hands start to grip me even tighter and suddenly I find my release and I scream out. Fitz finds his release almost immediately after and he pulls my shaking body to him and I collapse against him and just attempt to catch my breath with my head buried in the crook of his neck.

His arms find their way around my body and he's stroking my back gently as my body slowly stills.

I manage to find the strength to pull myself off of him and lay myself down on the sofa.

Fitz follows and pulls me close to him, cozying up next to me.

I look up at him and bring my hand up so that it's resting just over his heart so that I can feel it beating.

"I don't want to go back home." I whisper.

He reaches up and grasps my hand but looks at me with concerned eyes.

"What are you afraid of Livvy?" He asks, god the man can read me so well.

I sigh, "That we've been able to spend this weekend acting like a normal couple. We got to walk around hand in hand instead of having to walk a few feet apart. It didn't matter if anyone saw us kissing because they don't know us and therefore don't know you're my boss. I just…I'm afraid that it's going to be so much harder to go back to hiding everything because now we know how wonderful it is to be able to be open about everything."

He smiles and sighs, "It is going to be harder."

My eyes go wide, "Fitz, you're supposed to quell my fears about this, not confirm them."

He laughs, "It's going to be harder but that's okay. We're going to be fine. We now have a time frame. It's going to be harder for a little while but now we know that about three months we can be a normal couple."

I sigh, "If there's even a job."

Fitz lets go of my hand and grabs my chin, "Hey, there's going to be a job. Cyrus wouldn't have told me unless he was almost positive. You have nothing to worry about."

"Three months is still a long time to hide."

"It is, but we can make it work. I love you Olivia Pope, that's not going to change."

I smile and kiss him lightly. "I love you."

"We should get to bed." He says, but makes no move to get up.

I groan, "I cannot believe I let you convince me that it was a good idea to drive back Monday morning. We are going to have to get up so damn early."

Fitz laughs, "It's only 10 PM, we can go to bed now and you can sleep in the car on the way to work."

I pretend to pout, "Fine. Take me to bed, Mr. Grant."

He sits up and steps off the sofa and scoops me up into his arms, making me laugh hysterically as he carries me off to bed.


	23. Chapter 23

_"In any case you mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

Fitz was right, getting up early and leaving Carmel wasn't as bad as I anticipated. In fact, it was actually kind of nice. The morning drive wasn't so bad with Fitz and I was ready and awake for work when we got there. We both had a lot of work to do today and Fitz ended up holed up in his office with a new client for most of the afternoon, which I was actually grateful for because that meant no slip-ups where we forget where we are and how we are supposed to act. By the end of the day I am more than ready to get back to my apartment and of course to Abby who I feel like I haven't seen in ages. It's hard to leave Fitz but I know that I need to spend the night at my apartment to get some things done.

I arrive home around 5:30 and I'm thankful Abby won't be home for a while because I am dreading what I have to do now.

I change into a pair of leggings and a comfortable lounge-y sweater and start a load of laundry. Then I head back to my room and sit down on my bed. I pull out my cell phone and scroll to the number I need to dial. I take a deep breath and hit send, holding the phone up to my ear.

It rings twice before the person on the other end picks up. "Liv?"

"Hey Jake." I say, not happy about the conversation I'm about to start.

"Liv, I'm so happy you called. How are you?" He asks, his voice sounds hopeful and happy and I hate that I'm going to ruin that.

"I'm doing well, thanks. How are you?" I ask, trying to be polite.

"I'm doing well too, except that I miss you." He says.

I sigh, it's probably best I just get right to the point, "Jake…I met someone."

There's silence at the other end and I don't know what to do so I just ride it out until Jake starts to speak.

"Liv, what are you talking about?" He says, his voice cracks like he's trying not to get upset.

"Jake, I'm seeing someone else. I'm with someone else. This thing between us…it's over."

"Liv, you aren't serious?"

I take a deep breath, "I am serious. Jake, you have to stop waiting for me. I'm moving on and I want you to move on too."

"Liv you don't mean that. You need time, you need to see other people, that's fine but don't throw this away. You and I have been through so much together in six years, six years Liv, you're my best friend." He's crying now and I'm about to start crying as well because I hate doing this even though I know it's what needs to happen.

"Jake I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." I can feel the tears coming down my face and I can't do anything to stop them.

"Liv this guy, whoever he is, is a rebound. It's not going to last and you know it." He's angry now and I don't blame him.

"Jake, he's not a rebound. I'm so sorry." I'm crying now too because I feel so terrible about what I'm doing to him.

"I have to go. I can't do this right now." He says and he hangs up the phone.

I lean back and curl up against my pillow and I just let myself cry. I must have cried myself to sleep because when I wake up it's already 8 PM and I remember my laundry. I head out to switch out my load and I find myself wishing Abby would get home already because I need someone to talk to.

I pull out my phone and I dial Fitz's number, I know that I'm the one who said a night apart would be good for us but right now I just need to hear his voice.

"Hi." He says as he picks up the phone.

"Hi." I say quietly, leaning back against the hallway wall and letting myself slide down it until I am sitting on the floor with my arms curled around my knees.

"What's the matter?" He asks and I'm baffled again that he instinctively knows what I'm thinking from just one simple word.

I laugh and try to brush him off, "Nothing, I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you goodnight."

"Olivia it's eight o'clock, we both know you're not going to bed yet. What is going on?"

I shake my head, "Fitz, really I'm fine I just wanted to say goodnight."

He laughs, "I don't believe you but I'm going to let it slide since you're being stubborn and I am therefore just going to say goodnight. So, goodnight Olivia, I love you."

I sigh, "Thank you." I say quietly.

"Hang up the phone Olivia."

I laugh, "Goodnight Fitz." And I hang up the phone.

Abby arrives home not much later, just a little before 8:30.

"Oh my god, my ghost roommate has taken physical form!" She says after she sees me and drops her things on the floor, running over to hug me.

I roll my eyes but hug her back anyway, "Hey Abby, I've missed you too."

She kicks off her shoes and drags me over to the sofa, "Tell me all about Carmel, how was it?"

"It was absolutely amazing, I mean truly one of the best weekends of my life."

Abby frowns at me, "Your voice sounds happy, I believe you, but your face says something else. What's going on Liv?"

I frown at her, "You don't want to hear about Fitz's amazing house on the beach? Or the Chateau Adelina? Or the couples massage he got for us?"

"_Obviously_ I want to heart about all those things in great detail. Great, _dirty_ detail, and we will talk about them, but right now you need to spill what's going on with you that's making you all mopey."

I sigh and prop my head up on my hand. "I talked to Jake today."

Abby frowns, "What happened?"

"I told him I met someone else and we had to move on and he didn't take it very well."

Abby grabs my hand, "It's not your fault Liv, you did the right thing. You're trying to save his feelings but he's not responding and that's not your fault. Don't let him get you upset."

All of a sudden we hear a knock at the door.

"Did you order food or something?" Abby asks me.

I shake my head. "No, I didn't order anything."

Abby gets up and walks over to the door and opens it. "Liv, it's for you." She yells back to me.

I get up feeling totally confused and walk into the kitchen to see Fitz standing in the doorway.

"Fitz, what are you doing here?"

"I brought takeout." He says, holding up two bags in his hands, "For all three of us." He says, looking at Abby.

Abby grabs one of the bags and looks inside, "Chinese food. Liv, I kind of love your boyfriend right now."

I laugh, "Me too."

Abby sets one of the bags on the table and she looks at me with wide eyes, "Oh my god the L word." She mouths to me.

She grabs one of the containers from the bag and starts to walk toward me; "You and I are talking about this later, right now it seems like you need to talk to your boyfriend." She says before turning around and addressing Fitz, "Thanks for the food Fitz, you're on my good list." And with that she walks back into her room.

Fitz starts to laugh after she leaves and sets the second bag down on the table before walking over to me and taking my hands in his own.

"Why are you here, Fitz?" I ask, "I told you I was fine."

He looks right into my eyes, "You're not fine. You don't have to tell me what's wrong and we don't have to talk about it but don't lie to me and tell me you're fine when I know you're not."

I can feel the tears threatening at my face and I wrap my arms around his neck and I let the tears flow freely.

"Shh, Livvy it's okay. You're okay, I'm here." He says, stroking my hair.

I let myself calm down and I let go of him.

"Can we eat some food?" I ask shyly.

He laughs and grabs my hand, dragging me over to the kitchen table to pick up the bags of food.

"Are you going to stay?" I ask.

He bends forward and kisses my forehead, "Of course."

"Then how about we go eat in my bed?"

"Sounds good to me." He replies.

We head over to my room and we make ourselves comfortable in bed, turn on the television, and we start to eat.

"I think eating in bed is one of those underrated guilty pleasures. It's such a simple thing but I always just enjoy it." Fitz says as he finishes his food and sets the empty box on my bedside table.

I roll my eyes, "You are trying to get me to talk about why I went all clingy girlfriend on you aren't you?"

He laughs and takes my empty box from me, putting it next to his own. "Maybe."

I shift in the bed so that I'm facing him and I curl up on my side. "I talked to my ex-boyfriend tonight. I had to tell him that he has to let me go, that we aren't getting back together." I take a deep breath, "We were together for almost six years, I just don't like that I had to hurt him. I know it had to be done but that doesn't make me feel any better."

Fitz nods his head, "Six years is a long time, it's okay to be upset."

I reach out and grab onto his hand, "You're kind of perfect, you know that right?"

He smiles and pulls me toward him so I'm now curled against his chest. "I'm not perfect, Livvy. But I do love you and when you love someone it's your job to be there for them no matter what, it's your job to know that when they tell you they're fine that they actually aren't."

"I'm sorry I haven't been as forthcoming about my relationship with my ex as you have been with yours. It's just been so confusing for so long that it's hard to talk about because I don't even know where to start anymore." I say, tracing my fingers on the letters of his t-shirt.

"That's okay, it's okay to be confused. Life is confusing Olivia." He says, running his hand through my hair.

"There is one thing I know I'm not confused about." I say, turning my head up so I can look into his eyes.

"What's that?" He asks.

"I know that I love you."

He's grinning at me now, "I love you too."

"No, Fitz I_ really_ love you. The way I feel about you...I'm…I'm so scared of losing you that it physically pains me to even think about it. I'm just not used to being so happy and it's hard for me to convince myself that it's going to last." I say, trying not to start crying again.

Fitz pulls me closer, wrapping both his arms around me and kissing my temple. "You don't have to worry about that. You aren't going to lose me; you're stuck with me. I love you sweetheart. I love you."

He holds me close and I can feel the anxiety leave my body and I relax into his strong arms and slowly I drift off to sleep.

I wake up much earlier than I need to the next morning and I notice that I'm alone in bed. I get up and I hear the shower running and I know its Fitz because Abby would not be up this early.

I walk into the bathroom and I see him standing in the shower, completely still, just letting the water run over him.

I strip out of my clothes and I open the shower door to step in with him.

I wrap my arms around his torso and I rest my head on his shoulder.

He grabs my hands and slowly turns himself around.

"Hi." I say, accompanied by a huge yawn.

Fitz laughs, "Hi."

"Did you not sleep well?" I ask.

"No, I slept great. I always sleep great with you. I just woke up and thought I'd jump in the shower before it got overrun with women."

I laugh, "That was very considerate of you."

He looks a little odd, a little off. "Fitz, are you angry with me?"

He closes his eyes and takes my face in his hands and then presses his forehead against mine. "I'm not angry with you, I'm just a little upset you have still been talking to your ex-boyfriend this whole time."

I nod my head, "Okay, I get that, you have a right to be mad about that. I'm very sorry."

"I do need to know one thing, did you see him when you went home a few weeks ago?"

I start to panic a little bit but I know I need to tell him the truth, "I did. My parents invited him to dinner and he came over. He um, he kissed me on the cheek but that was it. The last time we actually kissed was New Years Eve and we haven't slept together since before I started working here."

I am internally freaking out a little bit and I know it's starting to show on my face.

"Hey, calm down." Fitz says to me, "You haven't done anything wrong, but I'm going to be very clear here. I know I act like a calm and collected guy but the thought of anyone else touching you drives me insane."

He pushes me up against the shower wall and presses his body up against mine. He kisses me lightly, "I am the only person who gets to kiss you."

His hands run up and down my sides, "I am the only person who gets to touch you."

He turns me around so that I am facing the shower wall and he runs his hands along my bum and I can feel him hard against me. "And I am the _only_ person you make love to."

I can feel him nudging at my entrance and I press my hands against the wall and I stick my bum out and Fitz grabs my hips. He pulls me back and enters me swiftly from behind and I gasp at the contact. One of his hands is now splayed on my pelvis and the other is now gripping my thigh as he thrusts from behind me.

His mouth is on my neck and then one hand finds it's way up to my neck to turn my head over to his mouth.

This sex is not gentle, it's not slow, its hard and fast and dirty and fantastic. We're both grunting and groaning and I don't even care that it doesn't sound even remotely sexy because it's just so damn good.

I come fast and hard and Fitz quickly follows and we are both totally spent, our breathing is heavy and Fitz is holding onto me tightly as we both compose ourselves.

He kisses my neck lightly and I turn around so that I am now facing him. I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss his jaw lightly.

"I might sounds like a complete ass when I say this but you are mine and I do not want anyone else touching you ever."

I nod my head, "Okay."

He smiles at me, "Okay. Now turn around because I'm going to wash your hair."

I laugh and grab my shampoo and hand it to him and then turn around.

Shortly after we finish, Fitz and I are getting out of the shower and I grab two towels and hand one to him.

I dry myself off and wrap myself in a towel and watch as he dries himself off and then wraps the towel around his waist. It's slung low on his hips and his body is still glistening from the water. His hair is wet and curly and it looks absolutely fantastic and I'm getting all hot and bothered all over again.

I'm leaning against the sink and biting my finger as I stare at him and I must have let myself fall into a daze because all of a sudden Fitz is running a hand through my hair and giving me a concerned look.

"Livvy, are you okay?"

I stand up straight and shake my head, "Yeah, sorry I was just thinking."

His mouth forms a devious grin, "You want me again don't you?"

I turn away and try not to smile as I shake my head.

He walks up to me and puts his hands on the sink counter on either side of me.

"You want me again." He says, looking into my eyes.

He leans in to kiss me but before his lips meet mine we hear a voice from outside the bathroom door.

"If you two are going to have sex again can you please do it in Liv's room so I can use the bathroom?"

My eyes are wide with horror, "Oh my god Abby. "

Fitz leans against me and starts to laugh.

I push him away from me and I open the door to find Abby standing outside it with her arms crossed.

"Hey Abby." I say, "I'm so sorry about that. I'm so sorry if we woke you up. The bathroom is all yours."

I turn around to grabs Fitz's hand and pull him out of the bathroom and toward my room.

Abby's eyes get wide when she spots Fitz in his towel.

"Never mind. I totally understand, congratulations Liv and Fitz, nicely done."

And with that Abby walks into the bathroom leaving Fitz and I alone in the hallway.

I shake my head and drag him into my room, shutting the door behind us.

Luckily Fitz is laughing.

"I'm so sorry Fitz, it must be weird for you to have to deal with a roommate." I say as I start to get ready for work.

"You know, we wouldn't have interruptions like that if we spent more time at my house." He says as he begins to get ready as well.

"Fitz we spend most of our time at your house and while I love being at your house, I like being at mine too. It's hard not to have my things with me all the time and to have to constantly be packing bags to bring to your house."

"Well, why don't you just move some of your things over to my house?"

I pause and stand up straight, "Um, you want me to move my things over to your house?"

Fitz turns around and looks at me, "Just so that you have some things at my house and then you don't have to pack a bag all the time. Don't freak out, I'm not asking you to move in with me, I'm just asking you to make your life a little easier, okay?"

I nod, "Okay, I will consider that. I will….I will think about it."

He smiles and runs a hand along my cheek, "Okay then, I have to go home before I head to work but I will see you around 8:30."

He leans in to kiss me and we say goodbye.

It's a little before 8:30 and I'm already at my desk when I hear Fitz walk into his office. A few minutes later my door opens and he comes in.

"Good morning Ms. Pope." He says, walking over to my desk and taking a seat on the edge of it.

"Good morning Mr. Grant." I reply, grinning at him.

My hand is resting on my desk and Fitz reaches out and grabs it and we just sit there for a minute.

"So what's on the schedule for today?" He asks.

"Fitz you can't do this, you can't hold my hand and touch me and expect me to work like a normal person. We promised we would be good at work and you holding my hand and sitting on my desk isn't being good. It's going to make it hard for me to concentrate and hard for me to do my job and it's going to make us slip up at some point and I can't have that because I can't lose you."

All of a sudden my door bursts open and Lauren walks in, "Hey Liv I want you to look at this." She says, she's got papers in her hands and I immediately pull my hand away from Fitz's but I know Lauren sees us because her expression changes and her eyes are wide.

"Fitz can I talk to Lauren alone?" I ask quietly.

He nods and gets up off my desk. He and Lauren exchange their hellos and he goes back into his office.

Lauren sets her things down on my desk and sits down in the chair across from me.

"All right Olivia, spill it. You have been dodging my questions about what's going on between you and Fitz for weeks even though you told me you would fill me in. I barely ever see you outside of work and Abby is shockingly keeping mum about the whole thing. Spill. Now."

I sigh, "Okay, okay." I take a deep breath, "Fitz and I are…together. We sleep together almost every night. We go away together. He wants me to bring some of my things over to his house. We are _very_ together."

Lauren stares at me for a minute and then she starts to smile. "And you're trying to keep it professional here because now I'm the only one who knows, right?"

I nod my head.

"Not even Harrison?" She asks.

"No. No, especially not Harrison, he would freak. You can't say anything about this to anyone." I beg.

"Relax Liv, I will keep my lips sealed. But you have to promise me that we get drinks on Friday and you have to divulge all the details to me, okay?"

I laugh, "It's a deal."

The week goes by and Fitz and I don't have any more incidents at work. I have started moving a few things over to his house; I brought some clothes, shoes, toiletries, and a few other things.

On Friday night Fitz and I are sitting on his bed, watching a movie and just snuggling. I'm feeling a little adventurous today and at my happy hour drinks session with Lauren and Abby we talked a lot about sex and it's made me really want to try something new.

"Can we try something?" I ask him, looking up at him from my comfy spot, my head resting on his chest.

"What do you want to try?" He asks, looking down at me, his hands crossed behind his head, making him look incredibly sexy.

"Abby was telling me about this position and it sounded good, so…I was hoping we could try it." I say shyly.

Fitz grins and pulls me toward him, capturing my mouth in his own. His hands start to move up my shirt, unhooking my bra and pulling my shirt slowly over my head. I do the same to the cable knit sweater he is wearing and pull it over his head swiftly. Our lips find each other once again and his hands find their way down to the waistband of my jeans and my hands do the same to his. He is quicker with my jeans and therefore flips me backward so I am on my back and he pulls my pants off of my legs and quickly deposits his own pants and underwear in one quick motion. He starts at my ankle and starts kissing his way up my leg. When he gets to my thigh they start to get hot and wet and I am fidgeting like crazy because of the stimulation. He reaches the apex of my thighs and starts to kiss my center through my underwear. My hips are bucking against him and he finally rips my underwear off my body and his mouth works its magic. I'm dizzy with pleasure by the time I finally find my release and I can feel the vibrations shake through my body.

I'm breathing heavily and Fitz is kneeling above me with a devilish grin on his face. I can practically see the masculine pride dripping from him as he looks at me, knowing only he can make me come undone like this.

"You ready?" He asks me.

I nod my head, trying to find the ability to speak.

"Tell me what you want." He says, running his hands down my thighs.

I finally catch my breath, "Stand at the foot of the bed." I instruct him and he does what he's told. I sit up and scoot my bum down to the edge of the bed.

Fitz grins at me, "I know what you want." He then grabs my legs and hooks my ankles over his shoulders, rolling my hips upward with his hands and telling me, "Grab a pillow." I grab one of the bed pillows and hand it to Fitz who slides it underneath my bum.

He backs up and prepares to enter me, his tip is right at my entrance and I can feel the blood pounding in my center, so eager for him. He pauses for a moment, "Livvy, you have to tell me if this hurts, the angle can be too deep for some people. I do not want to hurt you."

I nod my head, "I promise I will". Abby mentioned that this position was great for her but she also mentioned a friend who said it had been painful.

His hands are gripping my knees to keep my legs in place on his shoulders, he slowly pushes into me and I arch backward, gripping the pillow as I scream out because of how deep he is now buried inside me.

Fitz stops right away, "Livvy, do you need me to stop?"

"No, no" I say panting, "don't stop, I just had to let my body adjust."

He nods his head and starts out with a slow pace, slowly pumping in and out of me. Normally I don't like it this slow but he's so deep that it feels fantastic. He picks up the pace a little and it feels even better, I am moaning and groaning but I don't even care because it feels so damn good.

"Harder." I whisper. "Please."

Fitz grunts in response and acquiesces to my request. I scream out because it feels so good, like he is practically going through me. A few minutes later we both find our release, I can feel Fitz explode into me and I'm sure there is going to be a mess on his comforter from both of us.

He pulls out of me and collapses on the bed, pulling me close to him and pulling us both up to the top of the bed. We exchange lazy kisses and tangle our legs together underneath the covers. I'm sure I'll be sore tomorrow but it was well worth it.

I wake up a few hours later with the most unbearable cramps I've ever felt. This can't be right, this has never happened to me before. I try to get to the bathroom as quickly as I can; I really need to pee so hopefully that makes me feel a little better. I use the bathroom and I walk out normally, trying to stretch my stomach muscles from what is hopefully just a weird cramp, but it makes it so much worse. I collapse on the ground and let out a painful howl. All of a sudden Fitz is rushing in the bathroom and kneeling next to me.

He looks really scared, "Livvy, what's going on? Are you all right?"

I nod my head, "its just cramps."

Fitz still looks concerned, "Livvy, you are never like this when you have cramps."

I groan, he's right, I have never felt this terrible. "Maybe we should go to the doctor?"

"NO." I say sternly, "just google it or something."

He looks at me as if he wants to protest but sees the determined look on my face and decides not to argue with me.

He helps me up off the floor and he leads me back into the bed and helps me sit down. He grabs his ipad from the nightstand, sits down next to me and opens safari so he can google it, "What the hell do I google?" He asks, truly stumped.

"I don't know, uh, pain after sex. No, type cramping pain after sex."

He nods and starts typing. He's furiously reading things over the internet and he starts looking more nervous the more he reads.

"Livvy, I really think we should take you to the doctor."

I roll my eyes, "Give me that." I grab the ipad out of his hand.

He lets out an exasperated sigh and places his hand on my hip, rubbing back and forth as I scour the internet.

I read about some freaky things and then come across the most logical explanation, "Fitz, you probably hit my cervix. Apparently it doesn't always hurt when it happens but can cause terrible cramps afterward."

Fitz sighs a little bit in relief, "I'm going to get you a heating pad." He says sternly and then gets up and heads back into the bathroom.

I'm still in pain but I'm relaxed a little bit knowing this is probably something not so serious. I knew the position might hurt but I expected it to hurt while we were doing it, not afterward.

Fitz comes back with the heating pad and plugs it in and puts it on my stomach. He looks a little angry. He slides into bed and places his hand on the heating pad on top of my pelvis. "There's a timer on it so I set it to turn off after 45 minutes."

I shift so I'm facing him. "Are you angry with me?"

"What? No I'm just, I'm…I'm angry at me. I knew that position might hurt you and I did it anyway because I knew it would feel good. We are not doing that again."

"Yes, fine we won't do it again. Relax." I say, running my hand down his arm.

"Olivia, I will not relax, this is not all right. I hurt you and I don't like that. It's not okay for me to hurt you, not now and not ever."

I take a breath, "Fitz, you didn't intentionally hurt me. In fact, I was the one who suggested that position. This is not your fault."

He tears his arm away from me and sits up, "No, Olivia. It doesn't matter if it was intentional or not. I hurt you and that's never acceptable. I don't want to hurt you. Ever."

"Okay." I say softly. "Okay, Fitz." I grab his arm again and pull him back. He lies stiffly on the bed so I turn towards him more and hook one of my legs over his so that my body is completely pressed up against him.

He finally relaxes and turns to kiss my head and puts his arm around me so that he's holding me tightly.

I wake up the next day and find Fitz still holding me to him. I move around a little bit and notice I don't have any more cramps.

Even in his sleep he still seems tense so I decide to slip out of bed and make breakfast before he gets up but when I see my ukulele in the corner of the room I think I have a better idea.

I'm in the kitchen and I'm almost done making us breakfast when Fitz walks into the room.

He still looks grumpy and he pauses at the counter and his eyes scan my body with concern. "How are you feeling today?"

I smile at him and put the omelet I've just finished making him on his plate, which already is piled high with fruit and breakfast potatoes. "I'm feeling one hundred percent better. It was just cramps."

I take the plate over to him and I put it in his hand. "Fitz, honestly, I am totally fine. Sit down and eat your breakfast and relax."

I lean in to kiss him on the cheek and he relaxes a little bit but still looks stiff.

I grab my own plate and follow him around the counter and we both sit down.

After a moment he notices the ukulele I brought over sitting a couple feet away from us on the counter. "Why is your ukulele down here?" He asks, motioning to it.

I finish chewing the bite of food in my mouth and then I get up and go grab it. "Well, when I got up I figured that you were going to wake up grumpy and so I decided that I was going to make you breakfast and play you a song."

Fitz gives me a small smile, "Livvy, I'm not grumpy."

I roll my eyes and sit back down on the chair. "Oh shut up and just listen to the song."

I start to play and Fitz's face immediately lights up in his usual, gorgeous smile.

I start to sing, "You always hurt the ones you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all. You always take the sweetest rose, and crush it until the petals fall."

Fitz is laughing at me and I keep playing, "You always break the kindest hearts, with a hasty word you can't recall. And if I broke your heart last night, it's because I love you most of all."

Fitz gets up and grabs the ukulele out of my hands and sets it on the counter so that he can wrap his arms around me.

He's still laughing as he kisses me lightly and then pulls back so he's looking directly at me.

"You are so warped. And clearly I am warped because that actually made me feel better, but I still say that movie was depressing."

He's referring to Blue Valentine, we watched it the other night and that is how I came up with the idea to play the song for him.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, softly caressing his cheek.

He nods his head, "I'm okay."

He moves his hands and cups my face gently. "You are twisted." He says as he bends down and kisses me lightly. "But I still love you."


	24. Chapter 24

_"I don't care about truth. I want some happiness."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned_

* * *

It's a lovely Thursday morning at the office, I'm standing on the patio during my morning break drinking coffee with Lauren when I spot Fitz walk out to the lobby doors and greet a brunette woman. She's fairly tall and looks very put together, almost a little too perfect. She's wearing a light blue tweed jacket, a navy pencil skirt, and has nude heels on that match the detailing in the tweed. Her hair is perfectly quaffed atop her head and she wears a strand of pearls around her neck.

Lauren realizes that I am not paying attention to her and she turns her head to see what I'm staring at.

"Is that who I think it is?" I ask her, still staring at the woman and Fitz as they stand there in the lobby talking. Fitz looks tense, his arms are crossed and he's standing perfectly straight.

Lauren squints to look at her, "Oh yeah, that's his ex."

I whip my head around to look at her, "You've met her before?"

She shrugs, "We did an event for her a few years back when I started here, I never actually met her but I saw her once or twice."

I turn my attention back to them and see her reach a hand out and attempt to touch Fitz's forearm but he backs away. It doesn't seem to faze her though because the smile never leaves her face.

Lauren nudges me, "Well, go in there. Lay your claim."

I roll my eyes, "You know I can't do that."

"Well, you can't do it in an obvious way, but go in and meet her. Don't sit here and stew about it."

I sigh, "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea. I am interested in meeting her."

"Okay, go! Then tell me about it at lunch." She says, raising her eyebrows like she's hoping for something scandalous.

"You have a problem." I say with a laugh, "but I will meet you for lunch later."

I walk toward my office; I don't want to walk right over to them because I'm not sure how he's going to react. I walk in the direction of our offices and I go in to mine to grab a file that I can pretend to do something with.

I walk out of my office and over to Martha's desk, I ask her to make a few copies of some designs for me and I notice that Fitz and Mellie are walking towards me.

Martha gives me the copies and I turn around just as they are in front of me.

Mellie looks away from Fitz and spots me, "I don't think we've ever met before, I'd surely have remembered someone so lovely. Fitzgerald, are you going to introduce me to this lovely young lady?" She's complimenting me but I feel like she's also commenting on how young I am.

Fitz looks nervous, "Mellie this is my assistant, Olivia Pope. Olivia this is Mellie Ford, my ex-wife." He sounds tense when he says 'ex-wife', like it's painful for him to say.

She reaches out to shake my hand and I do the same. Her handshake is kind of intimidating, very stiff and strong, kind of in contrast to her silky smooth skin and her beaming smile. That's probably a facade; I bet this woman is seriously intimidating when she wants to be.

"Olivia, it is such a pleasure to meet you." She clasps her other hand over mine so that my hand is now stuck between hers and I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable. She looks me up and down like she's assessing me, "Gosh, you are just gorgeous. What on earth are you doing working for Fitz? You should be in front of a camera somewhere."

I can feel my face getting hot, "Um, thank you."

She turns around to look at Fitz, finally letting go of my hand. "Truly Fitz, where have you been hiding her? I'd love to use her for one of our Real Women articles."

I'm confused now, "Sorry, Real Women articles?" I say.

She turns back to me, "Oh dear, I'm the editor-in-chief at Poise Magazine."

My eyes grow wide and Mellie laughs, "Wow, that's amazing. I've been reading Poise since I was in high school."

"Well, then you know all about our Real Women articles!" She exclaims.

Fitz cuts in, "I don't think that's something Olivia would be interested in doing."

Mellie turns back to him, "Fitz, let the girl decide that herself. You don't know that." She turns back to me, "Olivia, don't you agree, it's every young girls dream to be featured in the Real Women article in Poise when she grows up?"

I hate that she's right, but I can't deny it and even if she weren't right the freaky smile and her cold eyes are scaring me a little bit so I'd probably agree with her anyway.

"Um, yeah, I do agree with you."

Mellie has a triumphant grin on her face and Fitz just looks annoyed. I really hate everything about this situation right now.

"Okay Mellie, I'm on a schedule. Let's talk about this event and be done." He says as he walks into his office.

Mellie pats my arm before she walks in after him, "It was a pleasure to meet you Olivia, I'm sure I'll see you again before I leave."

I nod my head, "Yes, same to you Ms. Ford. It was a pleasure."

I notice then that she's wearing a huge ring and has a wedding band on her left hand and I sigh, I forgot that she was remarried.

They walk into the office and close the door so I head into mine.

I stand up next to the door between my office and Fitz's for a moment and then decide that I can't do that, that is the kind of thing that crazy girlfriends do and I am not crazy. I really need to get out of here. I spot some mock-ups I have edited and need to give to Lauren so I hastily run out of my office and down to hers.

I burst in and shut the door so I can lean backward against it.

Lauren turns around, "Whoa, you look crazy. What happened?"

I look over and see that there is one other person in the office, its just Dan but I still cannot talk about this in front of him.

Lauren turns to him, "Hey Dan, can you give us a minute?"

He turns around, "Oh, hey Liv. Yeah, that's no problem I needed a coffee break anyway."

I move away from the door, "Thanks Dan." He nods and walks out.

"So, what happened?" Lauren asks.

I sit down next to her and sigh, sliding back in the chair. "She's gorgeous and surprisingly nice and she's the editor-in-chief of Poise Magazine and she offered to put me in their Real Women article."

"Wait, you didn't know she was the editor-in-chief at Poise? Do you and Fitz actually talk or are you just constantly having sex?" She teases.

I roll my eyes, "We do talk, he's told me things about her but they're all regarding their marriage, he doesn't actually talk about _her_. And wait a minute, how did you know she's the editor-in-chief at Poise?"

"Because we've hosted events for her before dummy."

"Oh right, sorry my brain feels fried at the moment."

Lauren laughs, "Oh come on, you have nothing to worry about. They've been divorced forever and she's remarried."

I shake my head, "You need to distract me. Tell me what you have planned for your anniversary with Savannah."

Lauren laughs again, "All right, I will placate your ridiculous concerns with the details of the very romantic night I have planned for Savannah."

Lauren and I talk until lunch and I'm nervous because Fitz doesn't come out to eat. I'm not sure if Mellie left or not and I don't want to go back to the office to check and seem like a creep.

All of a sudden Fitz appears out of nowhere and he looks pissed. "Olivia, I need you. _Now_." He says as he abruptly opens the door to the patio area and just as quickly heads back into the office.

Lauren looks over at me apologetically, "He looks pissed."

I look at her and I know it's obvious that I'm internally freaking out.

Lauren touches my hand, "Hey calm down, she's gone, he's pissed but I'm sure he just needs to talk to you and he'll be okay. He's not pissed at you." She whispers.

I give her a grateful smile and get up out of my chair.

"Good luck to you." Lauren calls out.

I shoot her an uneasy smile and make my way down to Fitz's office.

I look to Martha who shoots me a look of pity and says, "That woman always manages to set him off, good lucky sweetie."

Great, now I'm even more nervous. I walk into Fitz's office and decide to lock the door behind me just to be safe. "Fitz, are you all right?"

He doesn't respond, instead he grabs my arm, drags me into his private bathroom, and hoists me up onto the counter next to the sink.

He begins to kiss my neck and his hands are pushing my skirt up my thighs.

I come to my senses and push him off me, holding him at arms length. "Fitz, what are you doing? We cannot do this at work. What is going on with you?"

He looks at me, with this sad, defeated look on his face.

"Livvy, please. I _need _you."

I run my hands down his face, there is something majorly off about him.

"Okay, Fitz. Okay." I say softly, slowly taking his hands in my own and placing them on my thighs.

He doesn't miss a beat and his hands find their way up my skirt and pull off my panties. He lifts me up slightly so that he can push my skirt up and around my waist. He's kissing me like he's trying to breathe me in instead of the air.

I start to undo his belt and his pants. I can already feel him at attention when I part his briefs and pull his member outside of his pants.

He scoots me closer to the edge and lines himself up and buries himself inside me in one quick motion. He's holding me close to him and vigorously thrusting into me. I know I can't make any noise so I use my mouth to continue kissing him deeply but the pressure is getting to be too much. Fitz knows me well and lightly pushes my head down to his shoulder so that I can bite down.

I come undone and it only takes Fitz two more thrusts before he gets his release as well. He's clinging to me and his lips find mine again, lazily kissing me.

I take his face in my hands and he leans his forehead against mine. He looks his age right now, he's tired and stressed and completely worn out.

"Fitz, what is going on?"

He sighs, "She still knows how to push my buttons and it just drives me crazy. And I know that I shouldn't let her but that's much easier said than done."

I nod my head I definitely understand that.

"I'm sorry about this I just needed you because you remind me of everything good in my life I just needed a moment to just have you and to know that you are mine and I am yours. I needed to know that you're real and you're here and you're mine."

"It's okay Fitz, it's okay. I'm yours."

He clings to me for a few more minutes and then pulls back, reaching down to pull up his pants as I slide of the counter and find my panties on the floor.

He's adjusting his tie in the mirror and I come up behind him and put my arms around his strong torso.

He grabs my arms with his hands and holds me close to him.

"So what happened that made you so mad?" I ask into his shoulder.

He turns around and envelops me in his arms. "She just wants me to focus all my energy on this LA event and it's forcing me to neglect my charity event and I hate that because I'd rather be working on that but if I don't focus on these damn big events then we can't do the ones for charities and I hate that. It makes me feel like a sellout."

I look up at him, "Fitz, you are anything but a sellout. So big deal, you're running PR for a magazine, that's not selling out. The fact that you care so much about your charities is incredible and it's noble and I promise you that I will make sure everything gets done properly for your charity event. I will not let you down. I promise I will be really annoying."

Fitz smiles at me, "You never let me down Livvy."

I smile back at him, "Okay, I need to get back to work, are you going to be okay?"

He takes a deep breath and nods, "Yes, I'm going to be fine, thanks to you."

"Okay, I need to go finish my work."

He nods his head and pulls me back to him, kissing me one more time and then I walk back into my office.

To my dismay Mellie has been around for the past three days and keeps dropping by. It's now Friday and she has arranged a big dinner between the big wigs at her magazine and the people at GGC who are supposed to be running the event.

I normally enjoy dinners with Fitz's clients but tonight I can't wait for this one to be over. It's a very large dinner, normally it's just Fitz, Harrison, and me but tonight two of our other co-workers Jen and Rob are here, and usually where it's two to three people from the client's office, tonight there are five women and three men from Poise, plus several spouses from both sides. I'm sitting to Mellie's left and Fitz is to her right. Mellie is being very nice to me but she's talking to me in a way where I can tell she's trying to size me up. Plus she keeps making strange comments to Fitz about me.

She's explaining something about her job to me and I'm trying to pay attention but it's hard when I just want to focus on Fitz. "Olivia really, you have to let me use you in the magazine. You could model with those gorgeous cheekbones; honestly you're absolutely stunning. Isn't she stunning, Fitz?"

Fitz takes a big gulp and he nods his head, "Yes, she is." It's almost like Mellie expects something is going on with us but I don't have any idea how she would even know. But then again, although she is a magazine editor she is technically a journalist so she's probably just fishing.

Another editor, Julie, is sitting next to Fitz and she's been flirting with him all night and it's driving me crazy. I spot her put her hand on Fitz's arm and it makes something inside of me flare up in anger. Rationally I know Fitz isn't doing anything wrong, he hasn't even touched her and he's just being the charming businessman he is, and I'm very glad Mellie isn't the one with her hand on his arm. But even though I know that I suddenly have the urge to flirt with the man who is sitting on the other side of me and has been attempting to flirt with me all night. He's older than me but not as old as Fitz, I want to say mid-thirties, and he's an attractive guy, he's very nice too, not flirting with me in the obnoxious way guys my own age usually flirt. In just a nice way that I actually might respond to if I had any interest in dating anyone other than Fitz, which I do not.

I ease into the flirting, a light touch on the arm, grabbing his watch and complimenting him on it, showing him the weird napkin trick my Dad taught me when I was a kid, leaning in too close when I talk to him. I know Fitz has been watching me, I can practically feel his gaze burning into me. I don't really understand—and I'm not entirely sure that I want to understand—why seeing Fitz get angry and possessive over me turns me on. Suddenly he excuses himself from the table and I get a text message, just a single word, 'Outside'. I snort and excuse myself, not that anyone has really noticed since the group is pretty much collectively drunk.

We are eating in one of the conference rooms of the hotel Mellie and the rest of the people from the magazine are staying at and when I walk out of the room I notice Fitz is right outside the door. He grabs onto my arm and he pulls me behind him until we walk through an exit and out into the night. He turns toward me and he looks kind of angry but kind of turned on, like he knew I was flirting just to get a reaction out of him but it still pissed him off a little bit. He walks up to me and pushes me against the wall; his left hand is gripping my hair while his right hand heads for my bum and uses it to push my pelvis into his own. His mouth captures my own and he grinds against me and I can feel through his pants that he's starting to get aroused. I push him away after his hand has made its way down my thigh, bringing it around his hips and starting to push my dress farther and farther up. I hold him at arm's length and he sighs but doesn't try to move my hands because he knows we can't do this here and he backs away gracefully. He then looks at his watch.

"A car will be here in ten minutes for you, it will be taking you back to my house."

I pout, "Why am I going alone?"

He laughs and runs his hand down my arm, "You know why." I sense a hint of sadness in his voice; it's been harder and harder for us to keep our relationship a secret lately.

I frown, "You'll be there soon after?"

"No more than thirty minutes later, I promise."

I pout but turn around and head back into the hotel anyway.

Approximately twenty-seven minutes after I arrive at Fitz's house he walks through the bedroom door where I am lying—clad in one of his Berkeley t-shirt's as usual—on his bed and watching the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon.

He walks into the room and quickly deposits his suit jacket and tie on the lounge near the fireplace. He disrobes slowly and puts a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt on before heading into the bathroom. He hasn't said a word to me and I'm getting a little nervous that he actually is angry about my little tease at dinner.

He comes back into the bedroom and walks over to my side of the bed instead of his own. He grabs the remote from my hands and he moves to get on the bed, his legs straddling my own so that his pelvis is right on top of mine. He doesn't actually sit on my pelvis because he is much heavier than I am and is always afraid he's going to break me, but he puts enough pressure on my pelvis so that I can feel his hardness in his pants.

He moves to his side of the bed after a moment and pulls me down so that my back is flat on the bed and he is now lying beside me. He pulls my arms across my body and holds them together against my chest with one of his hands as the other makes its way down my body and into my panties.

I gasp when his fingers reach my core and dive into me, he continues his ministrations as my hips start to buck and I turn my head toward him in an attempt to find his lips with my own. He starts to breathe heavily onto my neck, driving me even crazier. He knows that I want his mouth on mine and he's purposely not giving it to me.

"Fiiitz." I moan as he pumps his fingers into me quicker and quicker and I can feel my release building.

His thumb is working magic and within minutes he's sending me over the edge into oblivion.

He rolls off me and lets got of my hands, pulling me closer to him so that our bodies are lined up, a smug smile on his face.

I'm still breathing heavily when he finally kisses me and in-between kisses murmurs, "You make me so possessive Livvy, I can't trust myself to behave around you. The next time you try to make me jealous I will march over to you and claim you as mine in front of whoever is watching, fuck the consequences."

He is scary serious as I look into his eyes, almost so serious that I'm a little scared. But as his tongue finds its way into my mouth my fears are quelled and even I am kind of amazed at the power I have over this man.

I pull back just a little bit, "I hate that Mellie didn't even do anything, she didn't even flirt with you, and yet I still find myself hating her. I get that its irrational because I don't even know her and she's been nothing but nice to me but I know that she hurt you and that makes me hate her." I say quietly.

Fitz smiles and runs a hand through my hair, "I'm okay with that. Actually in a weird way it boots my ego a little bit."

I roll my eyes and laugh as I try to turn away from him, "You're such an ass."

He pulls me back toward him, "Yes but I'm an ass who loves you."

I try not to smile but I can't help it, "Yeah, I guess there's that."

"Do you think she suspected there was something between us or if she was just fishing?"

He sighs, "Just fishing, she just does that. It's like her creepy way of tracking my life."

I nod my head, "Okay, just checking."

He pulls me closer to him and starts to kiss me lazily until he lets out a big yawn. I push him over onto his back and laugh quietly at him.

I run my hand through his hair and start to lightly massage his scalp as I lay beside him.

"Oh god that's good." He groans.

After a little while I sit up and pull my hand away and Fitz doesn't miss a beat, "Noooo, don't stop." He whines.

I roll my eyes even though he can't see me, "Turn around and take your shirt off, you baby." I say as I reach down to slap his thigh.

He struggles to take his shirt off while maintaining his position lying down and then flips his body over like he's a small child and I can't help but laugh. He finally deposits the shirt on the floor and I climb over him so that I'm straddling him and I begin to massage his shoulders. He's been so tense the past week with Mellie in town that I can feel his stiff muscles loosen up as I take my time massaging his neck, shoulders, and back. He groans in appreciation as my hands work their magic.

Since he's been so stressed and I can tell he's pretty exhausted, I've decided to give him a little treat to help him fall asleep.

"Turn around one more time," I say, balancing myself on my knees over top him so he has room to shift.

He turns around and smiles at me, "Hi."

I'm grinning back at him, "Hi."

He pulls me down for a long and lingering kiss and after a moment I break away and sit upright again, making Fitz pout.

I laugh at him and stick my tongue out, now he knows how it feels! I bring my hands to his pants and start to undo the drawstring, sliding myself down so that I am sitting on his thighs.

Fitz's eyes grow wide and he grabs my hand as I start to slide the pants down his body, "Livvy, you know that if you don't like doing this you don't have to."

I smile at him, "Fitz, I like this, I like doing this for you. Just lay back, relax and let me do this for you. This moment is all about you."

I pull his pants down and off him slowly, he sleeps with no boxer briefs on under his pajamas and I love that, it's much easier access. I take him softly in my hand and stroke him for a moment so that he is straight at attention. I lower my body so I'm kneeling in between his legs and I take him in my mouth. I can hear Fitz groaning in pleasure and it just spurs me on, I love how good I can make him feel when I do this. I work my magic with my mouth and a little bit later Fitz reaches his climax and finds his release. He takes a moment to catch his breath and then pulls me up his body so that I am lying on his chest. He hugs me close to him and places kisses on my jawline and then a hot, wet kiss on my mouth.

"I don't know if I'm majorly over-sharing and maybe going to freak you out, but I want to tell you something."

I look up at him, confused as to what he's talking about.

"You know the last time I had a blowjob?"

"You mean last week when I gave you one while we were in Carmel? Because if you've had another one since then there might be a murder happening in a few minutes."

Fitz laughs, "No, no I'm sorry I mean the last time I had a blowjob before you came along, the last time was when I was first engaged to Mellie, which was almost sixteen years ago. She didn't really like them and also wasn't very good at them. "

I sit up straight and stare at him, "You mean to tell me that the blow job I gave you at Quasar Con was the first one you had gotten in sixteen years."

Fitz nods his head and I'm still staring at him in shock.

"So the last time you got a blow job…I was only ten years old. Holy fuck. You were engaged to be married and I was in the fifth grade. I don't think I even know what a blowjob was back then. That's probably a good thing though."

Fitz laughs for a moment before his laugh turns into a frown, "Sometimes I forget how young you are." He says as he runs his hand through a strand of my hair. "I mean I'm almost a whole person who can vote older than you. Sometimes I just, I feel like I'm a dirty old man who's taking advantage of you."

I mimic his frown, "I don't care that you're older than me. You want to know something?"

Fitz smiles and nods his head.

"I liked you from the moment I met you. I was so nervous; it felt like I was meeting a movie star or something. I just couldn't stop staring at you and comparing you to Clark Kent in my head."

Fitz grins, "I reminded you of Clark Kent?"

"Yeah, it was mostly your hair."

"I'm still going to take that as a compliment, especially coming from you, you nerd."

I laugh and slap him lightly on the shoulder. "Well, you should take it as a compliment. I _love_ Clark Kent."

There's a moment of silence between the two of us, but it's comfortable silence, easy silence. I decide I should be the first one to break the silence, "Fitz, I love you, and only about five percent of that has to do with the fact that I think you're the most handsome man I've ever met in real life. I…I love you as a person, I love being around you, I love talking to you, I know this is kind of complicated but I am in love with you and I don't care what anyone else thinks about that."

Fitz is grinning at me by the time I stop mumbling. "I love you so much, Livvy."

"Okay then, go to sleep because I want to hike tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'am." He says and kisses me on the forehead, pulling me close as we both drift off to sleep.

I wake up the next morning and Fitz and I have shifted positions. He is now on top of me, his head is in between my breasts and his arms are wrapped around my waist and his legs are tangled in my own.

I don't want to make him move so I just lay there silently and run my hand through his hair. He starts to wake up and turns his head so he's looking up at me.

"Good morning." I say to him and he smiles up at me.

He then nuzzles his head into my chest and I start to laugh at the contact, he then scoots himself up so we are eye level and kisses me lightly. He then grabs the hem of the Berkeley shirt of his that I love to sleep in that has ridden up so far that it's exposing the undies I'm wearing.

He tugs at the shirt; "I love it when you wear my shirts."

I laugh at him and turn slightly so I can kiss him. He leans into me and starts to kiss me back, slowly pushing me back into the pillow so that I'm lying flat on the bed once again. Then all of a sudden I feel his hand slide down from my stomach and into my panties. I gasp as his fingers find the sensitive bud between my legs and start to massage me slowly. He continues to kiss me and his fingers make their way to my wetness and I start to roll my pelvis as he pumps his fingers in and out of me.

"Fitz." I moan. He pushes my panties all the way down and he pulls my body back toward him so that we are both lying on our sides. I pull the sheet off his body and I see him ready and at attention. He runs his hand down my thigh and he moves it so that it's covering his own thigh. I can now feel his member pressing at my entrance and I can't wait any longer so I reach my hand down and guide him into me. I move my hips and feel him sink into me and I moan into his mouth.

Fitz's hand makes its way back up my thigh to my bottom and pushes himself further into me. We sink into a familiar rhythm, soft and slow sex, but this morning I'm in the mood for Fitz to have total control so I run my hand along his back and I tug at him, indicating I want him on top of me. He moves over so that he's shifted on top of me. He pushes my legs back and I can't help but arch forward at the change in angle.

His mouth finds my neck and he's definitely going to leave a mark but right now I don't really care. His hand finds mine and he intertwines our fingers as he picks up his pace.

He's groaning into my ear and I'm arching into him and I know this is going to be fairly quick.

I come quickly and Fitz is close behind, collapsing over me as we both try to catch our breaths.

He rolls himself off me once he catches his breath and he pulls me with him so that I am now resting on his chest.

We lay there in silence for a little bit until I remember something I've needed to tell Fitz.

"Hey, um if you want to have any sex tomorrow through Wednesday then you're going to have to buy some condoms."

He leans forward a little and gives me a totally confused look, "Wait, what? Why?"

"Remember how I told you I was going to switch from the pill to the implant?"

Fitz nods his head and so I continue talking.

"Well, today is the last day for my pill and I couldn't get an appointment to get the implant in until Tuesday so therefore you have to go buy condoms if you want to get up in this business for the next four days." I make a wave motion over my pelvis and Fitz bursts out laughing.

"Liv, really? I can't buy condoms; I'm forty-three years old. How come I have to buy them?"

"Because you're the man, the man buys the condoms." I say, trying my best to give him my most serious look.

He lays his head back and groans.

"It's either buy condoms or be celibate for four days. Your choice but I am absolutely not getting pregnant so those are your only options."

Fitz sighs, "What would you do if you did, I mean birth control isn't one hundred percent effective, have you ever thought about what you would do if you did get pregnant?"

I prop my head up on my arm next to him and I purse my lips together in contemplation. "You mean would I consider…terminating it?"

Fitz turns to face me and nods his head yes.

"Fitz I need to be honest with you here, I'm twenty-six, I don't want to have a baby. There's a lot I want to do with my life that would be massively complicated if I had a baby. I can't tell you that I wouldn't consider it; I can't lie to you like that. Now, would I ever be able to actually go through with it? I don't know. I honestly just don't know." I pause for a moment to assess Fitz's reaction.

He looks like he's thinking about my response and it's making me very nervous. Finally he speaks, "Okay, I appreciate you being honest with me."

I move my hand up to his head and run it through his hair gently until he grabs it and brings it down to his mouth so he can lightly kiss my palm.

I smile, "I do picture it sometimes though. Especially since you took me to Carmel. Us together, a couple kids. I can picture it."

Fitz grins, "Four kids?"

I roll my eyes, "Nope. No way."

He laughs, "That's all right, I still love you."

I shake my head and then start to get up and out of the bed.

"Come on old man, let's get our day started."

Fitz practically leaps out of bed after me and I squeal and scamper away.

"I am going to get you for that Ms. Pope." He says, grabbing onto my waist and throwing me over his shoulder.

I am laughing hysterically as Fitz carries me into the bathroom, this is definitely not the worst way to spend a Saturday morning.


	25. Chapter 25

"_No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart." _

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

Fitz and I have started out on our hike after eating breakfast. We are making our way through the hills behind Fitz's house and it is really quite a gorgeous day for a hike.

We get to the spot atop the hill he took me to on our first weekend at his house together and we put down a blanket and we take out a few snacks we brought along.

"So why does Mellie piss you off so much? I mean, it's been so long since you guys have been together, I just…I guess I don't understand." I say as I grab an apple slice from the bag.

Fitz sighs and puts his hands behind his head and lies down on the blanket.

"Fitz, come on." I whine.

"It's not that she pisses me off, honestly I don't even think about her until she barges in on my life every couple years. It's the way she treats me when she's around, like she's just trying to push my buttons. It just makes me mad. It's not exactly her, it's just how she knows exactly what to say to hit me where it hurts."

I lie down on my side right next to Fitz, "I get that. Every time I go home and I see Jake and he begs me to reconsider our situation I just feel so guilty. He knows how to make me feel guilty. I get it, exes have power over us sometimes even when we don't want them to."

He just nods his agreement so I continue talking.

"What do you think Mellie would say if she knew we were dating?"

Fitz laughs, "Oh my god, she'd blow a gasket. And it's not because she wants me, she's happily married, but I think she's just gotten used to the idea of me being alone, like it's some sort of prize to see me alone, like she's won or something. That is kind of ridiculous but that's the way her mind works."

I start to laugh too but I get serious rather quickly, "Why did you get so jealous of me flirting with that guy?"

He turns his head slightly to look at me, "I know what you're thinking and it's not because I don't trust you. It's just that you're young and beautiful and you could have literally anyone you wanted and sometimes I get nervous that you're going to realize that you could do better than some old man like me."

I give him a small smile, "I can't do any better than you because you are the best. I know that I'm beautiful, I'm not stupid. I've always been able to have anyone I wanted. The problem always was I never really wanted anyone. I never knew what it felt like to really want someone until I met you. I liked Jake, I thought that I could convince myself that I really wanted him but it never happened and I thought maybe that was normal. That my expectations were too high and I shouldn't have my heart set on some fairy tale. Then I met you and now I feel silly that I ever stopped believing because this whole relationship has felt like a fairy tale and the thing that scares me is that I'm going to wake up and it's all going to have been a dream."

Fitz turns to me and reaches over to grab my hand that's fiddling with the blanket. He intertwines our fingers and he pulls my hand over his chest so that it's resting over his heart.

"I promise you this isn't a dream. And if it is well, then I hope I never wake up."

I smile at him and scoot my body closer to his so I can kiss him lightly on the cheek. Then I lean over so that I can whisper in his ear, "Fitz, I don't think you're an old man. I know that I joke about it sometimes but I truly don't see you as an old man."

Fitz shifts his body so he's now angled toward me. "Olivia, how old is your Dad?"

My eyes narrow, "Um, first of all, thanks a lot for killing my sex drive right then. Second, why do you care how old my Dad is?"

"Come on Olivia, just humor me."

I sigh, "My Dad is fifty-four."

Fitz sighs and lies flat on his back again. "I am almost eighteen years older than you and I am only eleven years younger than your Dad. How do you think he'll feel about that?"

"I don't know Fitz. Why are we talking about this? Are you trying to get me to break up with you or something?"

"No!" He says forcefully, "No, absolutely not. I'm just warning you that while we see this as a sort of fairytale, not everyone will see it that way."

I nod my head, "Okay."

We just lie there in silence for a little while until Fitz breaks it. "Charlotte is coming to visit me." He says quietly.

"Charlotte your cousin?"

He nods, "Yeah, just for a weekend. She's meeting a friend in San Francisco for a day so she wanted to come down and visit me. She's bringing her youngest son Wyatt with her, her other two are in school so they're staying with their Dad. But I offered to take care of Wyatt for the day while she went to see her friend."

I trace my fingers lazily over his chest, "So…what are you trying to say to me here?"

Fitz smiles, "I am trying to ask you if you'd like to meet my family?"

I start to grin, "I would love to." And I lean in to place a light kiss on his lips.

Tuesday night comes around and I have the appointment to get my implant after work. It's surprisingly quick and I arrive at Fitz's house around 7 PM.

I walk in the door and as I head into the kitchen I smell food and I'm grateful because I'm starving.

I spot him in the dining room and I pause in the doorway, "Hey handsome."

He turns around to see me and smiles, "Hey beautiful."

He walks over to me and grabs my face in his hands and kisses me hard on the mouth, making me laugh.

"How did it go?" He asks, running a hand through my hair.

"It was fine quick and easy." I say, holding up my arm and showing Fitz where the implant now resides in my arm. "See, you can barely tell."

"Does it hurt?" He asks, touching my arm lightly over where the implant was placed.

"No, not at all."

"So now we no longer have any need for the condoms?" Fitz asks, wiggling his eyebrows like a nut.

I laugh, "Um actually we have to use them for a week still. Apparently if you aren't on your period when you initially get the implant then it takes a week to become fully effective."

Fitz groans and I laugh, "God you're such a baby about condoms. Even after I let you get those creepy glow in the dark ones."

Fitz laughs, "I do like those."

"You are such a weirdo." I say with a laugh.

After we eat dinner we decide to watch a movie. We're sitting on the sofa snuggling when Fitz starts to kiss my neck.

I pretend to swat him away, "Fitz, stop it, I'm trying to watch the movie."

Fitz laughs, "You don't even care about the movie."

I try to lean away but Fitz just pins me down on the sofa.

I'm laughing hysterically now and I can't keep up this act anymore.

He starts to kiss me and of course I kiss him back.

His hand starts to find it's way up my shirt and around my back to slowly unhook my bra.

I reach my hands upward to start unbuttoning his shirt and slowly make my way down to his pants and I start to undo those too.

He pushes my arms away after a minute and he pulls my shirt over my head and tosses it on the floor. My bra follows soon after and he starts to kiss my chest.

His mouth makes its way down my body and he starts to undo my pants. He pulls them off my body and he doesn't waste time with my underwear, he just pulls it right off with my pants.

He makes his way back up my body and captures my lips with his own and his hands are strong against my sides, holding our bodies together like his life depends on it.

My hands find their way back to his pants and finish undoing them. I slide them down his body, taking his underwear right with them.

He sits up and takes his pants off the rest of the way by himself before repositioning himself above me as we resume our kissing.

I can feel him pressing at my entrance when I realize we are forgetting something.

"Fitz, wait stop. We need a condom."

He buries his face in my neck and groans, "Okay, lets go upstairs."

He hastily gets off the sofa and he throws me over his shoulder.

I burst out laughing as Fitz carries me up the stairs and tosses me gently on the bed.

Fitz tosses a couple of the throw pillows off the bed and then climbs over me again and he doesn't waste any time as he swiftly puts a condom on and enters me, making me gasp at the contact.

My hands run over his back, I love to feel his back, it's strong and firm and I feel so safe when he's above me.

"Livvy, you always feel like goddamned heaven." He grunts into my ear.

Fitz usually likes to start out slow but tonight he's already going pretty fast. After a little bit he pulls out and flips me over so that I am lying on my front and he is above me. I feel him enter me from behind and I grip the sheets as my body accommodates him. He runs his hands down over my bum and my sides, slowly pausing as he draws circles around my shoulder blades before he runs his hands down my arms and positions himself directly above me so our whole bodies are touching.

His right hand intertwines with my hand on the bed as a support for our bodies while the other hand reaches under my arm and up to cup my neck in order to turn my head so that I'm facing him.

His lips find mine and he picks up his pace again and I can feel all the pleasure building up in my body and getting ready to explode.

A few more thrusts is all it takes for me and before I know it I am collapsed on the bed and Fitz comes slowly after me, sinking down next to me.

He pulls my body close to his, we're both sweaty and sticky but we don't really care.

He plants a few lazy kisses on my neck and I finally catch my breath as we both doze off to sleep.

The next morning comes much too early and I am surprised when I hear a voice I don't recognize in the room.

"Well, well, good morning Fitzgerald." The voice says.

I open my eyes in a daze and I'm completely shocked when I see a blonde woman standing in the doorway to Fitz's bedroom.

I turn over to look at Fitz just as he opens his eyes and I see his facial expression go from confused to in total shock in less than one second.

"Oh, my god Charlotte, what are you doing here?" Fitz exclaims, quickly pulling the comforter up and over his chest.

I have now pulled the covers over my head because I am completely humiliated here.

"You've been strangely cryptic lately so I thought I'd get down here early and figure out what was going on with you. Obviously I have that mystery figured out." She says with a laugh.

"All right Charlotte, now can you please leave the room and shut the door. We can talk about this downstairs in the kitchen." Fitz pleads.

"Okay, don't be too long." She teases and then I hear the door shut and I take a deep breath because I'm grateful that embarrassment is over.

Fitz pulls the covers from over my head and he sinks down into the pillow next to me.

"I am so sorry about that. I didn't think she was coming until early this afternoon." He moans, putting his hands over his face.

I turn toward him and pull his hands away. "That was humiliating but lets just consider it payback for Abby bursting in on us."

Fitz laughs and reaches up to touch my face lightly.

"I love you. And I hope you still love me after you meet Charlotte."

I give him a small smile, "I will always love you. No matter what."

He leans in to kiss me, "We should probably head downstairs then."

We get out of bed and change quickly into some sweats and then we head downstairs.

As we round down the stairs I can hear a voice in the kitchen and when we head into the kitchen I see Charlotte talking to a small child sitting in a high chair next to Fitz's kitchen table.

Fitz walks right over to the little boy and picks him up, cuddling him and kissing his chubby little cheeks.

He turns toward me, "Liv this is my cousin Charlotte. Charlotte this is my girlfriend Liv."

He takes a few steps toward me, "And this is my favorite little man, Wyatt."

Fitz is grinning at Wyatt and I can't help but smile at how enthralled he is with this tiny human.

Charlotte walks over to me and extends her hand, "It's nice to meet you Liv."

I take her hand, "It's very nice to meet you Charlotte. Fitz speaks very fondly of you."

She releases my hand, "I wish I could say the same to you but Fitzgerald here has been keeping you a secret." She says, turning to Fitz and lightly smacking him on the arm.

"Oww, hey!" He says, prying his eyes away from Wyatt and turning them to Charlotte, who in turn rolls her eyes.

"Fitzgerald, how have you failed to mention her to me? How long have you two been dating?" She demands.

Fitz smiles and looks over at me, "We've been seeing each other for three months and actually I have mentioned her."

He turns toward me a little hesitantly and Charlotte looks confused, "Charlotte this is Olivia."

Charlotte still looks totally confused.

"My assistant, Olivia."

Charlotte's eyes grow wide, "Oh my gosh _this_ is Olivia."

I can't read her reaction and it's making me nervous so I turn to look at Fitz.

Fitz laughs, "Yes, this is Olivia. Charlotte please do not make a big deal out of this."

She turns away from me and toward Fitz and starts to speak in a hushed voice, "Fitz, this is your assistant, what are you doing?"

He looks over at her and he has a scarily serious glare on his face, "Charlotte, this is not my assistant Olivia. This is Livvy, this is the person I love."

Charlotte's mouth drops wide open and I think that she's going to protest but she doesn't. Instead she shuts her mouth and she just simply says, "Okay."

I know I look confused and Fitz turns to me and notices my expression and starts to laugh.

Charlotte turns to me and reaches out to grab my hand. "I trust Fitz, he's not technically my brother but he's the only brother I've ever had and I love him and if he loves you then this is okay because all I want for him is happiness. I'm thrilled to meet you Liv."

I smile, "Thank you. And just so you know, I love him too."

Charlotte is staring at me with this goofy smile on her face so I decide to change the subject. "Um, Charlotte, how old is Wyatt?"

"He's fifteen months old. I know, I must seem like a crazy person for having a baby at forty-two but I always wanted three kids."

"How old are your other two?" I ask.

"Parker is eleven and Hannah is six." She replies.

"Wow a five year age gap between each of them. That's kind of a great amount."

Charlotte smiles, "Yeah, I think so too. I liked that I could give them each sort of individual attention but they'd still have each other. Do you have siblings?"

"Yeah, actually I have two sisters. My older sister, Victoria, just turned twenty-eight and my younger sister, Caroline, is twenty-two."

"That's nice, and you're twenty-five?" She asks casually.

I laugh as Fitz starts shaking his head. "She's twenty-six Charlotte, and way to try to be casual about that."

Charlotte just shrugs and laughs it off, "Oh shut up, how about I make some breakfast for us all?"

I laugh, "Yeah, that sounds great. I can help you if you'd like?"

Charlotte shakes her head, "No, no! You sit down and get to know Wyatt, I assume Fitz has coerced you into helping him babysit this afternoon?"

I sit down next to Fitz at the table and turn slightly so I can face Charlotte, "He did, he bribed me with another weekend in Carmel." I say, sticking my tongue out at Fitz in a teasing manner.

Charlotte stops whatever she's doing and turns around to face us. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is open. "You took her to your Carmel house?"

Fitz has a guilty look on his face, "Yeah, I did. Sorry Charlotte."

Charlotte leans against the counter and looks straight at me, "Liv you have to give me the details, what's it like? This weirdo has kept it hidden from everyone like it's some huge secret, he refuses to even show us pictures!"

"Well, um I took a bunch of pictures on my phone if you'd like to see those?" I offer.

Charlotte's eyes light up, "Liv, I like you already."

Later that afternoon Charlotte has left for San Francisco and Fitz and I are playing with Wyatt in the living room.

I am holding Wyatt and bouncing him up and down on my hip as I sing to him softly.

Fitz is just staring at me, a goofy smile on his face.

"What are you staring at?" I ask him jokingly.

"Nothing." He says, still grinning.

I roll my eyes, "Fitz, subtle is one thing you are not. What is your deal?"

"You just look good, that's all."

I tense up and I decide to set Wyatt on his blanket on the ground so that he can play again and I take a few steps backward.

Fitz's eyes narrow, "What's wrong, Livvy?"

I shake my head, "Don't do this Fitz. Please don't do this."

"Don't do what Olivia? Talk about what I want. I know you're not ready to start a family but that doesn't mean I can just suddenly stop wanting one. I'm allowed to talk about the things I want, I'm not just going to file them away and forget about them."

He takes a deep breath and crosses his arms, "And I realize that you want a career but that doesn't mean you can't also have a family. We can have a nanny, I can stay home, we can move closer to your parents, there are a million ways to make this work but you have to be willing to give a little. This relationship can't just be about what you want, it has to include what I want too."

I sigh, "Fitz, we're not married, we're not even engaged. You don't get to be mad about me not wanting to talk about that stuff because I'm not even going to think about any of it until we plan on getting married. You don't just get to skip that step with me because you've already done it. Marriage means something to me, I'm not a girly girl but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about my dream wedding. You don't get to take away that dream because you're so damn worried about being an old Dad. I want to be a bride, at the beautiful, perfect wedding I've been dreaming about since I was a little girl and that dream does not involve me being pregnant or already having a baby. I don't want that until after I'm married. That's important to me."

Fitz doesn't respond to me at first and I'm afraid he might be mad at me. He bends down to the ground to help Wyatt with a toy and thankfully when he looks up at me he's smiling, "I wouldn't have pegged you for the type of girl to plan your wedding."

I look away because I can feel my cheeks getting hot.

He continues, "I like that, what's your ideal wedding?"

I look away without responding.

"Oh come on Livvy, just tell me the theme?" He begs.

I sigh and turn back around toward him and sit down on the sofa. "I always wanted it to be fairy tale themed, The Princess Bride specifically but I'd have other nods to my favorite stories mixed in there."

Fitz is just grinning at me so I continue to speak.

"I want it to be an outdoor wedding and I want the decorations to be lanterns and stone with light blue ribbons all over. Swords stuck in the ground indicating each row of new pews. I'd want wooden chairs instead of pews. I want the groom dressed in an all black tuxedo like the Dread Pirate Roberts. I know Buttercup's dress had a decent amount of detail on it but I'd rather have my dress be all lace with maybe a simple belt with some pearls on it. I'd also want the dress to be champagne colored, not white. I…I don't know…Fitz you need to stop staring at me with that goofy grin on your face, it's freaking me out."

I'm getting embarrassed because Fitz just continues to look at me like that.

Finally I've had enough and I get up and storm out of the room.

I hear Fitz scramble to put Wyatt in his playpen as he follows me. I sit down on a deck chair on the patio and Fitz catches up to me a moment later.

"I'm sorry Livvy, I wasn't trying to make you feel self-conscious, honestly, I just like that you think about that kind of thing."

I turn toward him, "Do you even want to get married again?"

He sighs and runs a hand through my hair, "I wasn't sure I did, but then I met you. If you want a big wedding then I'm happy to oblige. You can have as big and elaborate a wedding as your heart desires."

I take a deep breath and nod my head, "Okay, can we go back in there and stop talking about weddings and babies for a little while? It's making me anxious."

Fitz laughs, "We can do that. I thought we could swim if that sounds good to you?"

I smile, "Yeah, I'd love that. Swimming sounds great Fitz."


	26. Chapter 26

_"You see I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad things that happened to me."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

* * *

Fitz, Wyatt and I spent some time in the pool and then ate dinner out on the patio. Wyatt is actually a lot of fun to be with. He's probably the most easygoing child I've ever met. He laughs a lot and to my pleasant surprise has not cried once today.

We finish eating and we go in to wash up. We decide to give Wyatt a bath first and after having a great time watching him thoroughly enjoy playing with all the bath toys I had no idea Fitz had hidden under the sink in one of his guest bathrooms, Fitz dries him off and he puts on Wyatt's cute little pajamas and Wyatt cannot stop giggling as Fitz tickles him. I'm watching them from my perch on a cozy chair in the guest bedroom and suddenly I find myself feeling incredibly uncomfortable. This whole day has been fun but it's also given me a glance into something I don't want at this point in my life and to be truthful, something I'm not sure I want anytime soon. And Fitz….Fitz is a natural with Wyatt. It's clear he absolutely adores him and Wyatt seems to absolutely adore Fitz as well.

I announce to Fitz that I'm going to take a shower and I head off into his bedroom. I pause at his dresser as I take off my earrings and stare at a photo of us from Carmel. I sigh, I love Fitz, I really do, but sometimes I'm afraid that we are just at such different points in our life that we're never going to make it work.

I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I quickly strip down and jump into the steaming shower and let the water rush over my face. I lean backward into the cool marble of the shower and I close my eyes. I'm a little humiliated at the thought that I just blurted all that stuff out about getting engaged and married like it was nothing. We've mentioned it in passing but we've never really talked about it and I hate that I just blurted it out like it was a given. What really freaks me out is that it didn't seem to faze Fitz at all. In all honesty, he seemed to like it. And while I do want to get married, I don't want to do it for at least a couple years.

After a little while I open my eyes and proceed with my shower. When I get out of the shower I make my way over to the vanity which although was previously vacant, now houses some toiletries of mine. I pull out a hairbrush and I start to comb through my curly hair.

I must be lost in a daze because I am slightly startled when I look into the mirror and see Fitz's face staring back at me. His mouth is pressed into a hard line and I can't tell if he's angry or if he's just concentrating.

"Where's Wyatt?"

Fitz's face relaxes into a smile, "Fell right asleep after I put him into bed." He motions to the baby monitor he's set near his sink.

I relax a little because now I know he isn't mad.

He walks up behind me and puts his hands on my bare shoulders and starts to massage his thumbs into my spine. It feels heavenly and I find myself closing my eyes once again.

He goes on like that for a few minutes and then he leans down and kisses my neck ever so lightly before whispering in my ear, "What's going on with you?"

I open my eyes and shake my head, "Nothing, I'm just tired."

He frowns, "Don't lie to me Olivia."

I let out an exasperated sigh, "Fitz, come on. I don't want to talk about it."

Fitz lets go of my shoulders and crosses his arms and I'm a little nervous that he's going to get really mad at me.

"I don't care that you don't want to talk about it. We're in a relationship; we need to talk about things, that's how it works."

Yep, he's definitely mad at me. I get up and turn around to face him. "Fitz, you are an incredible person and I see you with Wyatt, you're so good with him and he just adores you, and I…I can't give you what you want. Not right now at least. I just don't see how this is going to work because I can't be the reason you don't get what you want. I just couldn't bear it if you ever resented me."

Fitz looks baffled, like he's dumbfounded and doesn't know what to say. He runs his hands through his hair and takes a step toward me. He sighs and then puts his hands on my cheeks, his thumbs stroking my skin.

"Do you honestly think I want a marriage and kids and all that more than I want you?"

My mouth drops open, I don't even know what to say.

He continues, "I forgot I wanted all those things until I met you. I forgot what it was like to love someone, to want to spend your life with someone, until I met you. None of those things mean anything if they aren't with you. We can take as long as you need, it doesn't matter to me, I'm not going to stop wanting them but I am willing to wait as long as you need because if I loose you then I loose everything. I will _never_ resent you."

I immediately step forward and throw my arms around his neck. I just hug him tightly for a little while and I revel in the feel of his strong arms around me.

After a moment I pull back, "I'm sorry I brought up engagements and marriage like it was just a given. I felt so stupid."

Fitz frowns, "Why did that make you feel stupid?"

I shrug, "Because we haven't really talked about it and we've only been dating for three months. That's kind of nuts."

Fitz grins, "Well stop feeling stupid about it because someday it will happen. I can be your Westley as long as you're my Buttercup."

I grin and bury my face in Fitz's shirt and he hugs me tightly.

"Let's go to bed Buttercup. Charlotte won't be home until late and I'm exhausted."

I nod my head and I can't help but laugh at his calling me Buttercup.

The next morning I wake up and Fitz is absent from bed. I creep down the stairs and I hear two voices coming from the kitchen. I pause for a moment to eavesdrop.

"Fitz, she's great I agree with you, but are you sure you're just not going through some midlife crisis?"

"Olivia is not a midlife crisis, Charlotte. She's….she's just extraordinary. Everything about her, she makes me want to be a better person, she makes me feel alive, when I'm with her everything in my life seems like it's in place. I want her more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything in my entire life."

"Oh Fitz, I've never seen you like this before. Even when we were kids you never got all googly eyed over a girl like this. It's kind of nice to see."

I hear Fitz laugh and it makes me smile.

I figure I should probably stop eavesdropping and I take a few steps backward and I try to make a noise at the bottom of the stairs so that they know I'm coming.

I walk into the kitchen and both Fitz and Charlotte smile at me.

Fitz gets up and walks over to me, planting a big kiss on my mouth and make me blush.

"Good morning gorgeous."

"Good morning." I whisper against his lips.

He finally releases me, a huge, satisfied smile on his face. "I made pancakes. I'll get you a plate, how you usually like them?"

"Yes please." I say with a smile.

I walk over and sit down next to Charlotte.

"You have a usual pancake order? How many nights a week do you two spend together?" She teases.

I blush profusely, "Um, usually about five. Sometimes we spend the night at my apartment."

Charlotte raises her eyebrows in amusement, "Fitz sleeps at your place? Wow, that's a very un-Fitzgerald Grant thing to do."

I frown, "Why is that?"

Charlotte reaches over and grabs my hand, "Oh sweetie I didn't mean to make that sound so strange, I just meant that he's a bit of a homebody."

I smile, "Oh, yeah, that's definitely true."

"Livvy, I seem to be out of that syrup you like but I could have sworn I bought some."

I look up, "I think we may have put it in the cabinet next to the basement refrigerator since there was already one up here. I'll go look."

"No no, I've got it." He says and he's out of the kitchen before I can object.

Charlotte turns to face me, "Okay good, now that Fitz is out of the room I want to talk to you. I really like you Olivia, I think you're a great girl and I haven't seen Fitz this happy in a very long time. I do need to say that apart from my children and my husband, Fitz is my favorite person on the planet. I love him dearly and I never want to stop seeing him this happy. I know you're young and you have a lot of life left to live but please, please don't break his heart. I see him with you and I just can't help but think that he wouldn't ever recover from losing you."

I smile at her and I grasp her hand tightly, "I don't think I'd survive losing him either."

Charlotte grins and leans forward to hug me and just as she pulls back Fitz walks back into the room, syrup in hand.

"You were right, as usual Livvy." He says with a grin that sends a tingly feeling down my spine.

We eat our breakfast and Charlotte leaves soon after.

Sadly, the rest of the week drags by tediously slowly. We're incredibly busy and that's usually good but all of a sudden it's Saturday and Fitz and I have not spent one night together since Sunday night.

Fitz and Harrison had to take a client golfing this morning and I declined their invitation to join. I absolutely hate golfing, plus I promised Abby I would go scope out a few galleries with her.

Fitz has promise to come to my apartment as soon as he's done with dinner and walking around the shops and galleries has given me an idea.

Abby is gone for the night with the guy she's currently seeing and therefore I have decided to make my bedroom a romantic paradise.

I have spent the entire afternoon getting ready. I bought a really nice bottle of wine, some candles that smell like Paris, and a ridiculous new piece of lingerie that I can barely breathe in when I wear. I hung decorative lights in my bedroom behind sheer pieces of fabric and truth be told I'm pretty impressed with myself. The room actually has some romantic appeal. I've got the lingerie on because I know Fitz should be here fairly soon and I want to be ready when he shows up.

I get excited when I see his name appear on my caller ID but my mood quickly goes crashing to the ground when I hear why he's calling me.

"Livvy, I'm going to be late."

I groan, blowing out the candle next to my bed. "What's wrong?" I ask, thinking there is some business issue he needs to attend to.

"That girl Harrison has been seeing dumped him and he's sulking, he's been miserable all day and I need to take him to get a drink."

I scowl, "Fitz, he doesn't need you to babysit him."

"I know, Livvy, but he's upset and he needs someone to vent to and he's my friend."

"Yeah, well I'm your friend too and I'm pretty sure my friend card trumps his friend card. Unless he's sucking your dick too."

"Olivia." Fitz sounds deadly serious, "Don't be crude."

I roll my eyes even though he can't see me, "Why the hell not? It's the truth."

"Olivia stop, don't demean our relationship because you're angry or frustrated."

I scoff, "Relationship? What relationship? We can't even go out to dinner or a movie like a normal couple. We constantly have to hide everything about our relationship. I'm basically your mistress."

"OLIVIA." He cuts me off, now he's really angry. "Stop talking right now before you say something you're going to regret. And don't you dare call yourself a mistress. That's unfair to both of us and it sure as hell is not the truth."

We are both silent for a few minutes and then Fitz speaks again, "I'm getting one drink with Harrison and I will talk to you later. I love you." He abruptly hangs up the phone and I sink back into my bed.

I can feel the tears start to threaten and I grab a pillow and cover my face. No one can hear me but I'm still uncomfortable crying. I let myself sob into the pillow and then pull the pillow off my face when I think I've cried myself out.

I don't even know why I'm so mad all of a sudden, it's not like anything has changed. Fitz and I have never been able to do things normal couples do. We are basically recluses and rarely leave his house save for the few and far between movie nights we have with Abby. I'd like to try to convince myself that the reason I'm getting so frustrated is because keeping this secret is tiring and getting old but truthfully that's not it, the issue is that I'm falling more and more in love with him and I'm scared that maybe he isn't, maybe he doesn't want to go public because I don't mean as much to him as he does to me.

I get up out of my bed and grab for my favorite DVD. It's the one movie I can watch no matter what emotions I'm feeling. I put the DVD in and go to turn off the lights and blow out the candles but I decide to leave them on, I worked hard putting them up so I might as well enjoy them a little bit.

I smile when the credits start, The Princess Bride has been my favorite movie since I can remember and I don't think it will ever change. This was always how I imagined falling in love when I was a little girl, the perfect—if slightly skewed—fairytale.

I quickly shed my lingerie and pull a Berkeley shirt of Fitz's over my head and slide into bed, clutching a stuffed dog.

Westley and Buttercup are traversing the fire swamp when I hear my front door unlocked. I know Abby won't be coming home so I'm confused for a moment until I see Fitz in my doorway and remember that I gave him a key.

"Hi." He says quietly, standing in my doorway and leaning against the doorframe.

"Hi." I say back, only pausing to look at him long enough to notice that he's wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants and then return my attention to my movie.

Fitz looks over at the tv, "You're watching The Princess Bride and I know that's your "happy place" movie. I don't like that I made you sad Livvy."

I resist retorting with a snarky comment about his Al Czervik-esque getup and instead I continue watching my movie.

He moves to sit on my bed so that he's blocking my view and he reaches for the remote and pauses the tv.

"I'm watching that." I say, still trying to ignore him.

"Olivia, we have to talk about what happened. You calling yourself my mistress—that hurt me. You said that because you knew it would hurt me and what I don't understand is why you're so mad about this all of a sudden?"

I sigh and just sit there on the bed with my arms crossed like I'm a grumpy child. Fitz glances around the room and his eye narrow when he gets a glimpse of my nightstand and the piece of mail I totally forgot I left there. He picks it up and reads it, smiling and then looking up at me, "You got a wedding invitation from your friends."

His face then falls into a frown as if suddenly he's realized why I'm so upset.

"You're upset because your friends are getting married and they are able to profess their love for each other freely and openly while you can't even tell them you are dating someone."

I nod my head, of course Fitz is right.

I sigh and I start to speak, "I'm sorry Fitz, I am. I shouldn't have said those things but I got this and I was upset because they are so happy and all they ever talk about is how happy they are with each other and I'm really happy with you and yet I can't tell anyone. I have to hide how I feel about you as if it's some dirty little secret and I hate that."

Fitz nods his head and sets the card down on my bedside table. "I'm sorry Livvy. I know this is hard and I want to tell people too. I love you, there is literally no one else I'd rather spend my time with and I hate that I can't talk about that and if this is really bothering you that much then I want to tell people. I don't care about the consequences, if you are ready to tell people then I am too."

"Fitz, we can't." I say, tears starting to flow freely down my face. "You can say you don't care about the consequences but you have to care about them, they could ruin us. I'd rather keep this a secret, no matter how hard it is, because I don't want to lose you and we are going to be under so much scrutiny if we go public with this while I still work for you that I'm afraid you'll start to resent me and that will drive us apart."

Fitz is looking at me like he is going to start crying. "Olivia, no matter what we do, I need you to know that our time together, our relationship, has been the happiest part of my life. Being with you has made me a happier person than I ever thought was possible. I love you and whatever happens with us down the road, I need you to understand that I could never resent you and I will fight for you because how I feel when I'm with you, even when you're angry at me, is a better feeling than my happiest moment with anyone else. So whatever you want to do Livvy, I'll do it. I just want you to be happy and I don't want _you_ to start resenting _me_."

Fitz pulls me into his arms and just holds me and strokes my hair. He takes a deep breath, "Oh Buttercup, death cannot stop true love, it can only delay it for a while."

I pull back and wipe the tears from my eyes, "You knew that by heart?"

He grins, "Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I can't like The Princess Bride."

I hug him again, "I'm sorry Fitz. I don't know what's wrong with me tonight."

"It's okay Livvy, all is forgiven." He looks around the room, "It looks as if you had something special planned." He says, nodding to the candles and lights.

I shake my head, "Yeah, it was stupid. I just wanted to do something romantic. I even bought new lingerie." I say shyly.

Fitz ears perk up at the word 'lingerie'. "You bought lingerie? Are you still wearing it?" He asks, not even waiting for an answer and pulling the shoulder of my large t-shirt down to try to get a peak.

I laugh and swat his hand away, "I took it off. It's over there on the floor."

He jumps up and grabs it off the floor, holding it up. "Wow, Livvy…you think I could entice you to put it back on?"

I laugh, "Only if you take off that ridiculous Caddyshack outfit you're wearing."

Fitz grins at me, "Done." And with that he wastes no time in stripping down to his boxers and gets back onto my bed.

"Okay, you're turn." He says, grinning at me with his hands behind his head.

I shake my head and laugh hysterically at him for a few minutes until I pull myself together, "You can't watch me put it on."

Of course he protests, "Why not? Come on Livvy, I've seen you naked many times, my mouth has literally been on and inside every possible part of your body."

"First of all, way to make it sound gross. And secondly, it's not that dummy, it's just that what men don't understand is that putting on lingerie is not sexy, I swear to you. It's a lot of squirming around and trying to fit skin tight fabric over your body."

He laughs at me, "Fine, I'll close my eyes."

I quickly shed my shirt and put the lingerie on as quickly as I can, trying not to grunt as I try to pull the tight fabric over my body. Miraculously I manage to put it on without making much noise and I climb on the bed, straddling Fitz just above his pelvis.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now." I tell him.

Fitz opens his eyes and immediately they grow wide, "Oh my god. Well done, Livvy." He says as he runs his hands up and down my sides. The lingerie is dark purple fabric covered with lace on the front. The sides are black mesh and so is the back. You can pretty much see everything except the front of my body in it.

"So you like it?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

Fitz pulls me down to kiss him and I have my answer.

A few hours later I wake up next to Fitz who is snoring softly next to me. My lingerie never came off, it's just pushed up my waist and is pretty uncomfortable so I get out of bed and take it off, depositing it on the ground and grabbing my short knit robe as I head to the bathroom. I exit the bathroom and decide I need a drink so I head to the kitchen. I'm standing in front of the sink gulping down a glass of water when I hear my name.

"Livvy?" Fitz says groggily.

I turn around and see him standing in doorframe that connects the kitchen to the living room clad only in his boxers.

"Fitz, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He shakes his head and walks over to me. I offer him my glass of water and he takes a big gulp of it before he speaks. His voice is less groggy now.

"Thanks Livvy, and it's okay. I don't mind when you wake me up."

I smile up at him.

He grabs the lapel of my robe and pulls me toward him. "I like this." He says, running his hands down the front of the robe.

I put my arms around his toned waist, "Well, we can get you one if you want. I mean, I have a robe for your house so maybe you should have one for mine."

He grins and plays with the belt of the robe. "I think I'm just going to steal yours."

I laugh, "This thing will barely go over your arms, it would be tighter than a muscle tee."

Fitz feigns offense, "Are you saying I'm fat, Olivia Pope?"

I laugh, "Absolutely not, I'm calling you muscular and you just happen to be a lot bigger than I am."

Fitz smiles, "That's because you're tiny."

I roll my eyes at him.

"I think I'm going to steal it anyway though because I'm pretty sure you have half of my Berkeley t-shirts."

"Yeah, you're never getting those back. You should just forget about them."

"That's okay, they look better on you anyway."

I look up at him and grin. It's funny, without heels on he is almost ten inches taller than me. I'm sure it looks awkward but it doesn't feel awkward. I like looking up at him.

"Let's go back to bed." He says, holding his hand out for me to grab onto.

And with that, he leads me back to bed. We climb into my bed together and within minutes I find myself falling into a deep and peaceful sleep curled up next to the man I love.


	27. Chapter 27

_"I understand and I'm happier than life ever meant me to be."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Benediction from Flappers and Philosophers_

* * *

I'm dreading the hours until I have to leave Fitz. Five days without him seems like an eternity. It will be nice to spend a long weekend in Chicago with my family-and it's crazy to me that my baby sister is graduating college-but it's going to be so strange not spending the weekend with Fitz. Weekends feel like our time, we have been making more of an effort lately to act like a normal couple by driving down to Santa Cruz and having dinner or going to movies. Fitz even agreed to spend some time with me and Abby and Quinn, God bless him for that, and I've actually been feeling like a normal person in a relationship. I'm lying in bed next to Fitz and I can't sleep, even though it's midnight and Fitz is dropping me off at the airport in a little over six hours, meaning I have to be up in less than five. I feel a little bit guilty for wanting to wake him up since he's being so nice and dropping me off at the airport and then he has to go straight to work, I really shouldn't wake him up but I kind of need him awake in order to complete the activity that will put me to sleep. We're both naked; our bodies pressed together, arms around each other and legs tangled together. I feel so safe when I'm sleeping like this; Fitz makes me feel so safe.

I wait a little while longer and I know it's no use; I'm not going to be able to sleep without a little help. I start to kiss up Fitz's neck and down his jawline. He starts to move and I can see the smile appearing on his face indicating that he is waking up. I reach my hand down in between the sheets and I run my hand down his chest and through his chest hair, grazing his skin lightly.

He doesn't open his eyes yet but he starts to kiss me back, his mouth finding mine and engaging me in deep and passionate kisses. I feel his flaccid member start to get hard on my thigh and I can feel the need pooling deep in my core and I reach my hand down so I can start to stroke him. He groans and pulls my body closer to him.

I can feel him pressing at my entrance and I feel the desire coarse through my body in waves.

He presses me onto my back and he wraps one of his hands around my left leg and pulls it up around his body. He moves his mouth down to kiss my chest and I start to run my hands through his hair.

He slowly makes his way back up my body and our mouths meet again in a searing kiss. He reaches his hand down and positions himself in between my legs. He enters me at a painstakingly slow pace, his hips are moving tantalizingly slow as he gives me soft thrusts. He continues to kiss me as he pulls me close to him. I try to roll my pelvis, indicating that he's driving me crazy, and he starts to thrust harder, pausing every time he thrusts to roll his hips around and sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through my body. He moves his head to my shoulder and kisses his way along it as he grunts along with his thrusts; his right hand finds its way down to my bum and presses me into him so that every thrust goes a little deeper.

I love this kind of sex, it's slow and intimate and I love to savor every moment with Fitz. I know he can tell I'm close so he starts to thrust his hips even harder and at a quicker pace. I scream into his shoulder as I find my release, biting down to keep myself from being too loud out of habit even though we are at Fitz's house and there's no one around for miles. A few moments later Fitz finds his release and collapses on top of me. He pauses for a few moments, catching his breath and then he moves to pull out of me but I hold him in place, I'm not ready to loose contact just yet.

"Can you just stay here for a little while?" I ask him shyly. He answers by pushing my hair back and placing a long and lingering kiss on my lips. I wrap my legs around his and I move my hands up his glorious naked back and place them around his neck. He runs his hands down my sides and stops at my waist, capturing me even closer to him. He starts to kiss my neck and nuzzles his head in a cozy spot next to my right ear.

After a little while he moves to shift off of me but I clasp my arms around him more tightly and he starts to laugh at me. "Livvy, I'm going to crush you if I stay on you for much longer." I sigh, even though I know he's right. He rolls out of me and I immediately feel empty. He shifts to the side so that we are in a spooning position and my body is pressed tightly to his.

His arms are wrapped tightly around me and his face is nuzzled into my neck. "Do you have to go to Chicago this weekend?" He asks softly and I can't help but crack a smile.

"Why don't you just come with me?" You can just camp out in the hotel and whenever I'm not doing family or graduation stuff I'll sneak off to see you?"

Fitz laughs, "I think that would qualify me for the 'completely whipped boyfriend' category."

I join in on the laughter, partly because of his joke and partly because I always find it amusing when he calls himself my boyfriend. I guess maybe because he's older I have a hard time picturing him as something as casual as a boyfriend.

"Yes, but you'd be MY completely whipped boyfriend."

Fitz laughs, "You're right, as long as I'm your boyfriend I don't care how whipped I am."

I'm blushing profusely at this comment and Fitz takes that opportunity to kiss my cheek.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Fitz asks me.

I turn around so that I can see him eye to eye and I nod my head, snuggling closer to him.

"I _was_ going to go hang out and wait for you like a creep but then we got this new account and the bastards want to go to dinner on Friday night."

"Next time then." I say with a wicked grin.

Fitz laughs and kisses me again, "Next time it's going to be you and me in some tropical location where we can be half naked on the beach all day."

I sigh; I want to do that so much. "Can we go to Palau? Or Bali? Oh how about Zanzibar?"

"Mhh, any one of those places sounds glorious to me. You and me in a hut over the ocean, no one for thousands of miles who knows us, I could kiss you in public."

I lean up to kiss him; I do wish I could do that in public more often. It's so hard to be around him all the time and unable to do something as simple as take his hand unless we're outside of San Jose. It's nice to go to Santa Cruz and Carmel and be able to act like a couple but those blissful moments of acting like a normal couple always make it a little harder to go back to pretending like we have a strictly professional relationship.

"I'll confess one of my own secrets since you shared one of yours with me, sometimes where we're out together and other women are staring at you I literally get so irate that I just want to jump you right there and claim you as mine."

Fitz laughs, "You're hallucinating, women do not stare at me. Also, how many drinks have you received from random men while you've been out with me? It drives me insane."

I laugh, "_You're_ bonkers. For two reasons, one because of your denial about women staring at you, you _were_ named San Jose's most eligible bachelor, and it's not just because you're successful, it's because you're smoking hot."

Fitz laughs and pulls me closer to him, nibbling on my ear and breathing heavily onto my neck, getting me a bit aroused in the process. I continue to speak even though I'm starting to breathe heavily myself, "And reason number two, you're insane if you think there's even the tiniest part of me who would rather be with anyone who isn't you."

Fitz and I lock eyes for a moment and I know he can see the honesty in them, I genuinely meant every word of what I just said to him. We break our eye contact when we both dive in for a kiss, it's a hot, open-mouthed kiss, our tongues are dueling for dominance and I can feel the desire start to pool in my belly once again.

Fitz presses me onto my back and starts to kiss his way down my body. His lips find the heat between my legs and he starts to use his superpower. Within minutes I'm moaning his name and grasping at the sheets beside me as I try to twist and turn my body but can't because Fitz has me pinned to the bed. A few seconds after I let go he is above me and thrusts swiftly into me. He then flips us around so that I am now on to. I start to move my pelvis slowly and I bend forward so I can look into his eyes. I love that I'm the reason he's making those gorgeous looks of absolute pleasure. With every twist and thrust we are closer and closer until we both come apart at the seams. I collapse on top of him and we cling together until we drift off to sleep.

Fitz and I are both lagging when we get up in the morning, it's partly because we're tired but it's mostly because we are both dreading the upcoming long weekend apart.

We are silent as we drive to the airport. Our fingers are intertwined over the console and all I can think about is how I'm going to miss him and how that is pathetic because I'm only going to be gone for five days. Five days, I mean honestly, I feel so ridiculous right now but I can't help it. I don't want to be away from him for four days. He pulls up to the terminal and we get out, he gets my luggage for me and we stand on the side of the road, an arm's length apart and just stare at each other for a moment.

Fitz sighs, "I know we aren't supposed to show any public displays of affection, but I'm going to kiss you in two seconds unless you tell me I can't."

I start to smile, "I will absolutely not stop you."

Fitz bridges the gap between us and wraps his arms around me, brings his face down to mine and presses our lips together firmly. I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me up so that he doesn't have to bend over me anymore.

We finally break apart and he sets me back down onto the ground. I open my eyes and see that he's laughing at me.

"What?" I ask, a grin forming on my own face.

He shakes his head, "I just forget how much shorter than me you are when you're not wearing heels."

I laugh and run my hand along his cheek. He grabs my hand and looks at me, "You have to go."

"I know." But I can't move just yet.

He cups my face with his hands, "Go have fun with your family."

"I love you Fitz."

He grins, "I love you too sweet baby. Be safe."

And with that I reluctantly turn around and head into the airport.

A few hours later I'm sitting on a plane next to a sleeping Victoria en route to Chicago. Victoria, who hates flying by herself, somehow managed to find a flight that started in San Francisco and stopped in San Jose before it headed out to Chicago. She was so excited to not fly by herself but she's been sleeping since I got on the flight so I haven't even said hello to her yet. But that's okay, I'm still a little mopey from having to leave Fitz and I'm enjoying the view from the sky, plus I had a latte before I boarded so I couldn't sleep if I wanted to. I'm enjoying my favorite view but at the same time all I can think about is how I won't be seeing Fitz for four days and how much I am going to miss him. I feel a little pathetic for thinking about this; I'm not the kind of person who misses someone for so short a time and the more I think about it the sillier I feel, and yet I still can't help it.

About an hour into the flight Victoria finally wakes up. She groggily opens her eyes and stretches in the seat.

"Good morning, sunshine. So how many lunesta did you take last night?" I tease.

"Liv, holy shit, I can't believe I slept through you boarding the plane. How come you didn't wake me up?"

"And get snapped at? No thank you."

Victoria laughs, "Yeah, you're probably right. So crap, how are you sis, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!"

I roll my eyes at her and laugh.

"Damn, Liv, have you lost weight since Christmas? You look awesome." Victoria scans me up and down with her eyes. "Like super fit, are you working out?"

I look down at myself, I don't think I'm skinnier but I guess I'm probably more fit, Fitz and I have been hiking a lot lately—plus we have a _lot _of sex which can definitely be a workout.

"I guess I've been hiking a lot lately, I don't know." I say with a shrug and lean back in my seat.

Victoria continues, "I've been trying to lose weight but I keep going out to dinner with Matt, you know the guy I'm sort of seeing, and he keeps taking me to all these restaurants where I just overindulge and whatever, I'm not gaining weight so I guess it's fine."

Victoria keeps talking and I let her, it's comforting to listen to her talk about her non-problems because it helps me to not think about Fitz, at least not think about him too much.

The flight goes by quickly and Victoria and I arrive in Chicago. We've been here a few times before so getting on the L and heading downtown to the hotel our parents are staying at is no problem.

We arrive in the Windy City late in the afternoon and we meet up with Mom, Dad, and Caroline for dinner. Fitz and I have been texting all day but I haven't had the opportunity to call him and it's driving me crazy. Finally, after a long day of sightseeing and shopping on Friday, I get the opportunity late that night when Victoria is engrossed in something on the television.

I walk out into the hallway and find a little corner where I can sink down to the floor and be out of sight. I pull my phone out of my pocket and I hit the phone icon and smile when my favorites list pops up, Fitz's name comes up first. I just love his name and I get downright giddy when it appears on my Caller ID. I sigh because my boyfriend is ridiculously dreamy. I hit his number and bring the phone up to my ear; my anticipation heightens as the phone rings and within two rings Fitz picks up.

"Hello beautiful." Fitz says as he picks up the phone.

"Hi handsome." I respond, I can't contain the huge smile that unfolds on my face.

"How's the windy city?"

"It's good, I like it here, except for the humidity because it's making my hair crazy. What are you doing?"

"Oh, I bet your hair looks sexy all wavy and natural. I just got back from dinner and I'm getting ready for bed."

I laugh and glance at my watch; it's about 11:30 here in Chicago so it's only 9:30 in San Jose.

"My hair is definitely not sexy like this and you're getting ready for bed right now? It's like 9:30."

Fitz laughs, "Yeah, well I'm sad and pathetic without you here."

I let out a small laugh but I fall silent quickly and we both just let there be silence for a moment.

Eventually I break the silence, "I kind of miss you."

I can practically hear him smile on the other end, "I kind of miss you, too."

I sigh; I really wish he were here with me.

"Did you do anything fun today?"

"We took that architectural boat tour you suggested, it was really nice. Seeing the city from the river and Lake Michigan was really beautiful."

"I thought you'd like it. Did you do any shopping?"

I smile, "Yeah, you were right, Oak Street kicks Michigan Avenues' ass. Caroline was impressed with my 'googling'."

Fitz laughs, "I miss you."

"I wish you were here. This hotel is gorgeous, I bet it has amazing suites."

"Oh, Miss Pope, assuming I'd spring for a suite now are we?"

"Oh, Mr. Grant, I _know_ you'd spring for a suite."

Fitz laughs, he has a gorgeous laugh. "You know me well, Olivia."

I love it when Fitz calls me Livvy, but I like it when he calls me Olivia as well. It's different from the way my Mom uses it, usually only when I'm being scolded. It makes me feel like an adult, like someone who can be taken seriously, someone who is mature enough to be in an adult relationship with a ridiculously handsome man.

"How was dinner?"

He groans, "It was unbearable without you."

I stifle a laugh, "Why was that Mr. Grant?"

"Because they were dull and there was practically no drinking and you weren't there sitting next to me and every time I reached over to cop a feel Harrison got all weird with me."

I can't contain it and double over in laughter.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you? Well, Harrison didn't, he's probably filing a sexual harassment complaint as we speak."

I am laughing so hard I can barely breathe.

"I love your laugh." Fitz says and I can practically feel his smile through the phone.

"Well, you can hear it in person again in like sixty-one and a half hours."

"That was very specific."

"Maybe I more than kind of miss you."

"I more than kind of miss you too, Livvy."

"So, do you have any plans for tomorrow?"

"I'll probably just sulk around the house and get some work done. I have honestly no idea what to do with my weekend without you."

I laugh, "Why don't you call up a friend and bro-out or something?"

I hear Fitz burst out in laughter. "Bro-out? And you think I have friends? I am a sad old man who is far too obsessed with his much younger girlfriend."

I can't help but laugh, "Oh shut up, call a friend, have some beers, and I'll call you tomorrow night."

"I'll be looking forward to it."

I sigh, "I should get going, my Dad has a whole itinerary planned for tomorrow and it starts early."

Fitz chuckles, "Okay, goodnight beautiful. I love you always."

"Goodnight Fitz. I love you always."

I hang up the phone and throw my head back against the wall. I should probably get to bed.

I head back into the room and to my surprise Victoria is still up.

"So, who's the guy?" She asks casually while lying on the bed and flipping through a magazine.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, trying my hardest to be cool.

She puts her magazine down on the bed and looks directly at me, "I'm talking about the guy that you left the room to call, the one who you've been swooning over all day every time you get a text from him."

I shake my head at her and walk over to my own bed to sit down. "There's no guy."

I pick up the television remote and switch it on, casually flipping through channels and not once turning to look at Victoria. If you're going by technicalities, I'm not actually lying to Victoria. I'm not dating a guy, Fitz is not a guy, Fitz is all man, all extremely handsome, muscular, beautiful man.

Victoria gets up and stands in front of the television. "Olivia Katherine Pope, I am your older sister, I know when you're screwing someone." She's using her Mom voice and that's her indication that she's not going to let this go anytime soon.

I lean back and pull a pillow over my face, groaning into it.

"Come on Olivia, tell me what's going on with you now or I'm going to bring it up in front of Mom."

I shoot up, "Screw you Victoria, you need to stop threatening me with telling Mom. We aren't ten years old anymore. You whine about Caroline and I being closer but how can we not be when you're always holding things over our heads?"

She sighs and moves to sit next to me, surprising me when she starts to apologize.

"Fine, you're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't do that. It's a defense mechanism."

I nod my head, "I know, but that doesn't make it right."

She nods her head, "I know."

We are silent for a few minutes and she reaches over to grab my hand. Her hands are warm on my icy ones. It's always been like that, she's warm and I'm cold. I used to think it was a cruel metaphor on our personalities but as I've grown older I realize that's insane.

"Liv, you know I love you and even though we fight sometimes I am still your older sister and I want to be there for you. I promise I won't say anything to anyone if you decide to tell me what's going on with you, especially Mom."

I sigh; Victoria really is a good older sister in spite of her flaws. I mean, I can't really fault her for having flaws she is human after all. It would also be nice to talk to someone about this besides Abby, not that Abby isn't a great confidant; she just has always been kind of a relationship floater and can't really give me much advice on the subject of real relationships. Victoria, on the other hand, is a relationship connoisseur, her last three relationships have all been almost two years long and she recently started dating a guy who I know will become her boyfriend in less than a month. Victoria is just one of those girls that men fall head over heels for. It's not the way she looks, Victoria is beautiful but the one thing I've always been ashamed to be happy about is that I am prettier than she is, it's what Dad calls her "hook", which is his nice way of saying she's good at manipulating people into giving her what she wants. He doesn't mean it in a cruel way, Victoria is not a narcissist or anything and she can be an incredibly selfless person, but she just has this personality that draws you in—men and women alike—and people just flock to her. I've always been a little jealous of that because I've always been awkward and just kind of odd, but truthfully I don't know if I'd enjoy being boisterous like Victoria, it seems exhausting.

I turn toward her, "Okay, you promise not to say anything to anyone?"

"I swear." She says, raising her hand up like she's about to testify in a 50's courtroom drama.

"Swear on something you love, swear on your favorite pair of shoes."

She thinks for a moment, "Okay, I swear on my favorite pair of patent leather cobalt blue Louboutin's."

"Those are mine if you tell anyone so you better take this seriously. You aren't even allowed to tell Caroline."

"I'm totally serious, I am a secret keeping vault." She pretends to lock her mouth and toss away the key.

Laughing, I roll my eyes and turn so that I can cross my legs on the bed. I take a deep breath.

"Okay, you aren't allowed to act all 'big sister' on me and you don't get to interrupt me while I'm talking. Can you do that?"

She crosses her legs on the bed and faces me, nodding her head. "I promise, I can do that."

"Okay, for about four months I have been dating a guy from work."

Her eyes grow wide but she keeps her mouth shut as promised so I continue.

"I know what you're thinking and I promise you I'm not seeing Harrison. That would be so weird; he's like a brother. I don't know why everyone thinks we should date."

Victoria is glaring at me now.

"Sorry, I'm rambling." I shake my head and get my brain thoughts back on track. "He's older—a lot—older than I am and I didn't intend for it to happen. You know how I got to meet the cast of Helio Space One at Quasar Con? Well, it wasn't just a special ticket I won, it was actually a special meet and greet just for me that this guy set up. I had a crush on him since I started working there but that was the moment I realized that maybe it was more than a crush and I could tell he had a crush on me too but I also realized then that maybe he had more than just a crush on me as well and so I just…I went for it."

I fall silent and Victoria waits a moment before she speaks, "Okay, so who is this guy Liv?"

I take a deep breath before I speak, "He is my boss. The owner of the company. Fitzgerald Grant."

Victoria's mouth drops open, she's clearly baffled because Victoria is rarely speechless.

"Holy crap." She finally sputters out.

I give her a moment more to think about what I've just told her but she is still just staring blankly at me.

"Come on, Victoria, can you please say something?"

"What is with you and dating white guys?"

I roll my eyes, "Really? That's all you have to say? And how did you even know he was white?"

She shrugs, "First of all, his name is Fitzgerald Grant, that is like the whitest name I've ever heard."

I narrow my eyes at her, "Like Victoria Pope is any better?"

"First of all, it's less white than Caroline Pope."

We both laugh; she's right about that.

Our laughter quickly fades and we get serious again. "I've seen pictures of him, he donated a lot of money to a charity my boss runs and you guys have planned a couple events for us. He's really attractive, Liv."

I cover my eyes with my hands and groan, "I know. I really like him."

"Wow, for a girl who doesn't use the word 'love', 'really like' is a pretty big deal."

I prop my elbows up on my knees and hold my head up with my palms, "I know, he's just so great. He's nice to me and he makes me laugh and I would rather be with him than pretty much anyone else. I actually miss him right now, am I pathetic?"

Victoria starts laughing so hard she almost falls off the bed.

When she composes herself she grabs my hands and makes me look at her. "You aren't pathetic, that's how you're supposed to act when you're in a relationship."

"But I feel so pathetic, I actually wanted him to meet me here so that I wouldn't have to be away from him all weekend."

Victoria laughs, "What did he say to that?"

I smile, "He would have come but he had dinner with clients tonight that he couldn't miss."

She grins, "It sounds like he really likes you too."

I can't help my maniacal grin, "He does, Vic he's so perfect and I'm so deep into this but I can't tell anyone about it and that's so hard. He's my boss and he's almost eighteen years older than me and…and what would people think even if I could tell them? They'd think I was a gold-digging whore and I don't want that because that's not at all why I like him. He…he sees me and it's so refreshing. And I'm just…I'm so confused because I've never felt anything like this before."

Victoria is laughing at me, "God Liv, you are in this deep!"

I take a deep breath, "Victoria I don't just really like him. I'm in love with him."

Victoria's jaw drops open and she just stares at me for a moment and I let her process what I've told her.

"Liv, are you…are you serious?"

I nod my head and flail back dramatically on the bed, "I am so unfortunately serious. I am desperately, devastatingly in love with him."

Victoria moves so that she is lying on the bed next to me, her head propped up on her arm so that she is looking at me. "Soo...have you told him that?" She asks quietly.

I turn to her and I can't stop grinning, "I have."

Victoria grins, "Has he said it back?"

I nod my head, "He actually said it first."

Her eyes open wide, "Wow Liv, I'm impressed, Mom and Dad always thought I'd be the trophy wife."

I know she's joking but I don't like it. I turn onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, "It's not like that Victoria. I'm not interested in his money."

I feel her hand touch my upper arm, "Liv, I'm sorry, I was joking. I didn't mean it like that."

I sigh, "I know you didn't, it's just that's what I'm afraid of. That everyone is just going to see me as a gold digger."

Victoria laughs, "Liv, no one who knows you well is going to think that. I'm you're Olivia Pope for gods sake. You tutor children, you spend your summers at Uncle John's clinic, you refuse to sell out and get an easy job writing at a trashy magazine. Anyone who knows the real you knows that you would never date anyone just for the money. Plus, even though you refuse to admit it, your Princess Bride loving self is a romantic at heart. You never really reacted like a typical girl around boys even in high school. You didn't have crushes or go crazy over boys. You liked them and they liked you but you never got crazy about it. It's nice to see you all head over heels like everyone else."

I grin, "He's the most wonderful person I've ever met Vic."

Victoria shakes her head and laughs, "My god Liv, I don't think I've seen you smile this big since…" And her voice trails off and I know she was about to say 'since before Huck died'.

We're both quiet for a moment until Victoria bridges the slightly awkward silence. "So what's it like dating an older man, is he romantic? You know what apparently passes for romance lately if you're a guy in your twenties? Dinner at a Burger Joint and then getting felt up on a ratty sofa while watching a ridiculous action flick. Please tell me there's hope for more?"

I laugh and turn to the side, propping my head up on my hand. "Yeah, that definitely does not pass for romance with us. I mean, we have definitely had our fair share of nights at In-N-Out and heavy making out during mindless movies, but that is not what we'd call a romantic night."

Victoria leans in, "Okay then, give me some details!"

I grin, "Well, we can't do a lot of activities outside the house so Fitz makes a lot of dinners for us. He's a pretty excellent cook but lately we've been going to Santa Clara every few days just to feel like a normal couple, but the most romantic thing he's ever done for me is take me to his house in Carmel for a weekend."

Victoria's eyes grow wide, "He has a house in Carmel? Oh my god Liv, I'm so incredibly jealous right now!"

I smile and continue, "He has this gorgeous house right on the water. It's amazing; it's like a little piece of paradise. But that isn't even the best part, he took me to this vineyard—he knows the people who own it—so he had this private tour arranged for us and this incredible dinner planned. We walked around under the stars and he held my hand and he planned it all out because he wanted it to be like The Princess Bride."

I see Victoria's face fading into a look of utter disbelief and I continue talking, "That was when he told me he loved me for the first time."

"Awww." Victoria moans.

"He's just always doing little sweet things for me, like for my birthday—this was before we were even dating mind you—he gave me this gorgeous painted picture of a starry night with the words 'You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are'."

"Oh my god from The Fault In Our Stars. Ugh Liv I'm so incredibly jealous right now. So…tell me something else…how's the sex?"

My face turns flush and I roll over onto my back so I don't have to look Victoria in the eyes while I answer. "Oh god, I mean….all right it's absolutely fantastic. I mean hands down the best I've ever had."

"Well what's so good? Give me details!" She pries.

I laugh and roll my eyes, "Okay…it's not just the sex part that he's absolutely incredibly at, it's everything. The way he kisses me, the way his hands touch my body, the way he holds me when we're being intimate, the way our bodies fit together, the way he looks at me with this incredibly sexy carnal need. I've never wanted anyone so badly in my entire life. And that's not even mentioning his _superpower_."

Victoria props herself up a little bit so she can get a better look at me, "Um superpower? Olivia Katherine Pope you cannot just mention that and then stop talking!"

I laugh, "His superpower is what we refer to as the incredibly ability he has with his mouth when it's…er…between my legs."

I can see Victoria's eyebrows rise up in intrigue. "Go on Olivia." She says sternly.

"He um, well lets just say the frequency at which he um, goes down on me, is far more often than any other guy I've ever been with. And also the uh, feeling, is so much better than anything else I've ever experienced. I mean honestly, every other guy that's ever gone down on me has been completely terrible compared to Fitz."

Victoria is oddly silent and I sit upright and find that she's now lying flat on her back with her hands over her eyes.

"Victoria?"

"I'm sorry Liv, I'm just so incredibly jealous of you right now that I can't look at you."

I burst out laughing, "I'm sorry Vic."

She uncovers her eyes, "It's okay. I'm happy for you Liv. You've had such a rough go of it the last few years I'm just glad to see you happy again."

I lean forward and hug her. She wraps her arms around me, "I love you big sister."

She sighs, "I love you too little sister."

Victoria and I finally go to bed and the next morning comes far too soon. I am awoken by the sound of knocking at our door. I groggily get out of bed and open it to find my Mom at the door.

"Good morning Olive." She says brightly, barging right into our room.

I let out a big yawn, "Morning Mom, what are you doing?"

She walks over to Victoria's bed and gently taps her on the shoulder, "Time to get up Tori."

Victoria groans, "Mom don't call me that." I laugh, she hates being called Tori.

Mom claps her hands together, "Come on daughters, let's get up we have lots of things to do!"

All of a sudden she narrows her eyes at me. "Olivia, where did you get that shirt?"

I yawn, "What do you mean? I'm wearing a Berkeley shirt, I did go to school there."

My Mom gives me one of those motherly glares she's famous for, "I know that Olivia, but it says Class of '92 on the sleeve and you only graduated last year."

Crap, I didn't realize even think about that when I threw this t-shirt into my bag. "Um, it's just from a thrift store."

My Mom looks at me more closely; she definitely knows I'm lying. "Olivia are you all right, your face looks flush?"

I know I can't avert my eyes because then she will really know I'm lying and this is one secret I'm not ready to divulge. So I look her straight in the eyes and I respond, "I'm fine Mom. I'm just going to take a shower." And before she can protest I turn around and disappear into the bathroom.

The rest of the day Mom seems to be quietly trying to analyze everything about me. All through Caroline's graduation and dinner she seems to be gauging my reactions and watching me whenever I take my phone out. Later that night Caroline has invited Victoria and I out to Wrigleyville to a massive graduation party a few of her friends are hosting. I've been enjoying meeting all of her friends but it's almost 1 AM and all I want to do is talk to Fitz.

I find my way onto a fire escape and am grateful it's a small solace from the loud party. I take out my phone and dial Fitz's number. He picks up almost immediately and I can't help the ear-to-ear grin that breaks out on my face.

"Hi." He says as he picks up.

"Hi." I say quietly.

"Oh sweet baby it's so good to hear your voice."

He's not even here and he still manages to make me blush, this is the effect this man has on me.

"Fitz, I miss you."

I can almost hear his smile through the phone, "What are you doing up so late? You need a little help…_falling asleep_, if you know what I mean?"

I laugh, "You're such a pervert."

"How was your day today Livvy?"

I sigh, "It was good. Long. I'm at this graduation party with Caroline and Victoria and all I want to do is get into bed and go to sleep."

"Ohh a graduation party, I bet all the graduates are all over you."

I scoff, "Is this your not-so-casual way of asking if I'm flirting with twenty-two year old boys?"

He laughs, "I know you aren't flirting with them but I also know you're far too beautiful to get out of there without any of them trying to flirt with you."

I grin; he can flatter me even when he's being overprotective. "Eh, maybe I don't really notice. I'm not interested in them anyway. I much prefer older me."

"Oh yeah, how much older?"

"Oh, _much_ older than me."

"Anyone in particular?"

"Well, there's this man I work with. He's got gorgeous blue eyes and beautiful curly hair but those aren't even my favorite things about him. My favorite thing about him is his hands. He has the best hands. The way he touches me, the way my body feels under his fingertips. The way he holds me close to him and strokes my skin when we make love."

Fitz groans, "Livvy god what are you doing to me?"

I know it's a rhetorical question and we both just sit there in silence for a few minutes.

I am the first one to break the silence, "I have a hard time sleeping without you. The bed is too big and I find that even with blankets piled on me I can't get warm enough because it's just not the same as the heat from your body."

All of a sudden our moment is interrupted when Victoria opens the window and pears out at me, "Liv what are you doing?"

"Um, I'm talking to Fitz." I say.

She grins, "Okay, well I think we should leave soon."

I nod and she heads back into the house.

"Was that your sister?" Fitz asks.

"Yeah, she knows about us I'll tell you about it later but I should get going."

"Okay. Goodnight Livvy. I love you so much sweet baby."

I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath, "Goodnight Fitz. I love you too."


	28. Chapter 28

_"I'm not sentimental—I'm as romantic as you are. The idea, you know, is that the sentimental person thinks things will last—the romantic person has a desperate confidence that they won't."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise_

* * *

The next morning we are at brunch. It's my parents, my sisters, my Grandma and my Uma and Oupa. We're all eating and talking about our plans for the day when my Mom announces, "Girls we're planning a trip to Africa at the beginning of August, do you think you'll be able to get the time off?"

Victoria and I look at each other and shrug and then both nod our heads. "Where all are we going?" Victoria asks.

"First to Cape Town to visit Uma and Oupa and then up to Lusaka to visit Uncle John and Grandma and then Caroline picked Botswana and Kenya so we thought we'd do a Safari in the Okavango Delta area and then to Lamu to the Majlis for a little relaxation.

"Can we bring boyfriends?" Victoria asks.

"Are you that serious with Matt?" My Mom asks.

She shrugs, "Well, maybe."

Mom turns her gaze to me, "You could always bring Jake."

I roll my eyes. "Mom, I thought we'd discussed this?"

She holds up her hands in surrender, "I'm sorry Liv. I won't bring him up again."

I narrow my eyes at her, that's an empty promise if I've ever heard one.

"Are you dating someone else you'd like to bring?" She adds in casually.

I'm so grateful when my Grandma cuts in before I can say anything snippy. "Oh Maya let the girl be. She's young and gorgeous, I'm sure she's enjoying dating around."

She reaches over and grabs my hand, "Right sweetie?"

I nod my head and squeeze her hand, "Right Grandma."

Later that afternoon we are walking around when my Grandma announces she'd like to go back to Saks and pick up a blouse she decided she wanted. Everyone is sort of doing his or her own thing so she asks me to come with her and we promise to meet up with everyone else for dinner at Hugo's.

Grandma links our arms together as we walk toward Saks. "How are you Olivia?"

"I'm great Grandma."

She laughs and shakes her head, "No sweetie. I mean how _are _you?"

I bite my lip, "What are you talking about Grandma?"

She narrows her eyes at me, "Olivia Katherine Pope don't play dumb with me."

I sigh, "I don't know what you want me to say Grandma."

"Are you still seeing that man you were seeing the last time I saw you?"

I take a deep breath and nod my head.

"It's going well?"

I nod my head and I can't stop myself from smiling, "It's going very well."

"Is he treating you right?"

I can't help but grin, "Grandma, he treats me like a princess."

She squeezes my arm, "That's good, you are a princess."

I smile and we keep walking for a moment.

"So what's the problem, darling?"

I sigh, "Grandma, if I talk about this do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I promise sweetheart, this stays between you and me."

"Please Grandma, you can't say anything to anyone especially Mom and Dad."

"My lips are sealed."

"Okay, the problem is he's older than me."

Grandma rolls her eyes at me, "Darling, that's not a problem, that's a blessing."

I can't help but laugh, "Grandma, he's a _lot_ older than me."

She shrugs, "Your Grandfather was nine years older than me."

"It's more than nine years."

She just eyes me, expecting me to tell her the number.

"He's almost eighteen years older than me."

She purses her lips together, "I'm still not seeing what the problem here is Olivia."

I laugh, "The problem isn't with us Grandma, the problem is I'm not sure how Mom and Dad are going to react to my boyfriend being closer to their age then mine."

As we walk into the store she pulls me off to the side of the door and takes my face in her hand, "Listen to me little girl, don't let what anyone else thinks dictate how you live your life. If this man makes you happy, if he is good to you, then that's all that matters. You can't let anyone else's idea of what's right prevent you from being happy. You are a good person Olivia, you deserve to be happy."

I reach out and pull her into a hug, "I love you Grandma."

We start up the escalator when she abruptly says, "Are you sleeping with him?"

My eyes grow wide and I can feel the heat building up in my cheeks, "Oh my god Grandma!"

She smiles, "I'll take that as a yes. Just be careful Olivia, giving that part of yourself to a man can come with consequences if you aren't sure of his intentions. I don't want to see your heart get hurt any more than it has already been hurt. You don't need any more scars."

I close my eyes lightly and nod my head and thankfully she doesn't mention any more on the subject and we continue shopping.

The rest of the weekend goes by quickly and I am surprised and grateful that my mother doesn't mention anything about the t-shirt or about Jake for the rest of our visit. I have truly enjoyed spending a few days with my family but I can't say that I'm not ecstatic to get home and see Fitz.

My flight arrives at four PM and I'm prepared to take a cab home because I didn't want Fitz to have to leave work early in order to pick me up—though it took about an hour to for me to convince him.

I get off the plane and wait in baggage claim for my things. I'm fiddling with my phone when out of the corner of my eye I spot someone who looks a lot like Fitz.

I look up because it can't be him; he promised that he wouldn't leave early because it might look suspicious. But as I look up and get a good look at the beautiful smiling man walking toward me I know its Fitz.

I put my phone away and cross my arms in an attempt to look annoyed but I can't help the smile that is forming on my face.

He's making his way over to me and he's grinning madly. He gets to me and wraps his strong arms around my body, pulling me close to him.

I wrap my arms around his neck and he easily lifts me up off the ground.

I hug him tightly and after a few moments he sets me back down on the ground.

He's grinning when he looks into my eyes as he releases me and within seconds his hands are on my face and he is kissing me fiercely, his tongue parting my lips and finding its way into my mouth. I don't care that we're in public and there are people all around us, I kiss him back anyway.

We finally break apart and I am the first one to speak, "You liar, you agreed that you wouldn't pick me up!" I say as I playfully smack him on the chest.

He grins deviously, "No I agreed that it would be smarter to let you take a cab home and not risk leaving work and making people suspicious. I didn't exactly say I was going to do it."

I shake my head and reach out to run my hand along his tie, "You are ridiculous."

"I couldn't wait another minute to see you."

I can feel my cheeks getting warm and I wrap an arm around his waist and press my head into his chest. "I missed you too."

Fitz drives me back to my apartment and we barely make it through the door before we're all over each other.

My hands are in his hair and his are up my shirt, our bodies are pressed together and our mouths are devouring each other in hot and needy kisses. We deposit our clothes in a path along the way to my room and I know Abby is going to kill me for it but right now I just don't care.

By the time we make it to my bedroom we have both lost every piece of clothing and my legs are wrapped around his waist and he lays us both down on the bed, his muscular body covering mine. His hands are running up and down my sides making my body tingle with anticipation. His mouth has moved down to my jaw and now my neck and is now making its way down my chest until I can feel him in between my legs. I arch backward into the bed as I feel his mouth find me just where I want him. I'm already seeing stars as he goes to work and I can't help it when I start to claw at the pillow. It's like I can feel him on every part of my body and when I let go the convulsions rock my body and I have to shut my eyes for a moment in order to catch my breath.

When I open my eyes Fitz is staring at me with look of pure self-satisfaction and I can't help but laugh at him. "Your ego is getting out of control Mr. Grant."

He laughs, "Well, that's really your fault."

I shake my head and continue to laugh but he silences me by kissing me again. I can taste myself on him and I love it, I used to think that was weird and awkward but now I love the intimate aspect it brings to our relationship.

He positions himself over me once again and his hand finds its way down my body to grip my thigh, pressing my hot, wet core as close to him as possible.

His body rocks against mine and I can feel his erection pressed hard to my thigh. His hand moves from my thigh in between my legs and I gasp when I feel one of his fingers enter me.

He teases me like that for a moment before abruptly sitting up and kneeling on the bed and then pulling me so that I am straddling his lap. He runs his hands down to my bum and he slowly presses my body onto him and I can't help but gasp at the contact.

I'm pressed up against him, my hands on his chest, and I just sit there perfectly still for a moment before I start to move. I start slow but I pick up my pace as his hands make their way around my torso and his mouth finds my breasts. I arch back into his mouth and I can't help the moans of pleasure coming from my mouth. I can feel my orgasm building up in my body and I practically collapse onto Fitz a few moments later as it rocks through my body.

Once I've regained consciousness he gently lays me down on the bed and positions himself over me. He pushes one of my knees back and enters me gently, our bodies pressed as closely as possible and our mouths unwilling to part even for a moment.

He thrusts into me harder and I know that he's getting close. I can't believe it but everything is starting to build up again in my body. Fitz quickens his pace and I wrap my arms more tightly around him as he lets himself go and I follow soon after.

He's panting on top of me, he's heavy but I don't mind. His body on top of mine is such a comfort.

After a moment he rolls off me and curls up behind me so that we are spooning and he pulls the covers up over us both. He starts to kiss my neck lightly and I reach back and run my hand through his hair.

I decide to turn around because I want to see his face. I adjust my body and I place my hand on his cheek and we just stare at each other for a little while.

"What are you thinking about Livvy?" He finally asks.

I smile and shake my head, "Nothing. I'm just thinking."

He grins, "Come on Livvy, spill."

I turn my head away because I'm a little embarrassed but I end up turning back toward him because I realize that I have nothing to be embarrassed about because I'm totally comfortable around him.

"I was just thinking that you're beautiful."

"Well, I prefer to be called handsome, but I'll take anything from you."

I laugh, "You are handsome, but you're beautiful too, you should take that as a compliment. You're just…you're beautiful. I can't explain it."

He touches my lips lightly with his fingers, "_You're_ beautiful Livvy."

I grin, "I don't like being away from you."

He brushes a hair away from my face, "I don't like being away from you either."

"So what did you end up doing over the weekend? I hate that we didn't get the chance to really talk on Saturday or Sunday."

"Saturday I golfed with Harrison and Mike. Sunday afternoon I played tennis with my friend Robert and then Sunday night I had dinner with Cyrus and James. It was uneventful. How was the rest of the weekend with your family?"

I laugh, "It was good. My Grandma asked how you were—indirectly that is since she doesn't actually know any details about you, she's just a mind reader of mythic proportions so she always knows what's going on with me. She asked if I was sleeping with you, I don't think I've ever been so mortified in my life."

Fitz laughs, "Oh god, that does sound mortifying."

"She um, she told me to be careful because she didn't want me to get hurt any more and it got me thinking…do you think that too much of our relationship is based on sex?"

Fitz purses his lips, "Well, we do have a lot of sex, but I don't think that's a bad thing because we also talk a lot and we do other things together. We know each other, yeah sex is a big part of our relationship but we also wouldn't fall apart if you took it out of the equation."

"So, you'd be willing to be celibate for a little while?"

He looks like he's in pain when he says it, but I know he's being honest. "Yes, if it was important to you then I would do it."

I lean forward and kiss him lightly, "I don't want to do it, but it means a lot to me that you'd give it up for me."

He grins and pulls me in for another kiss, "Thank god. I'd do it but I think it might kill me."

I laugh, "You're insatiable."

He pulls me in for a kiss when my stomach starts to growl.

We both start to laugh, "Oh Livvy, I totally forgot to feed you. I'm sorry."

"Fitz, you're not responsible for me. And you did feed me…just in a different way." I say with a mischievous smile.

Fitz shakes his head and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "I am responsible for you. And you're responsible for me. That's how it works when you love somebody."

I sigh and roll over onto my back, "Order me some food then Fitzgerald."

Fitz chuckles and reaches over to grab the phone next to my bed. "As you wish Miss Pope."

He grabs the phone and turns around so that he's facing me. "So what do you want to eat princess?"

"Can we just order from Ryan's? I'm in the mood for greasy tuna and onion rings and fries."

Fitz grins, "Of course we can."

An hour later we are lounging on my bed in our sweats eating our gloriously greasy dinner.

"I'm going to have to spend an extra hour at the gym tomorrow." Fitz groans.

I roll my eyes, "Stop being dramatic, you don't go to the gym."

Fitz laughs, "Hey, before I met you I spent a lot of time at the gym."

"Well my apologies then, you can leave now so you can get to the gym today."

He knows I'm teasing him and he can't hide the grin on his face, "I'll get right on that."

It's about 9 PM and we've eaten our food and now we're washing our dishes in the kitchen when Abby walks in looking visibly distraught.

"Abby, what's wrong? I didn't think you were supposed to be home until ten."

She's setting her bags down on the floor and turns around; her face is stained with tears.

"Fitz, I'm sure that you missed her all weekend and normally I'd be happy to let you do whatever kinky things you guys do together but she's my soul mate and I really need her right now."

Fitz looks over at me and nods his head, "I'll be in your room Liv, I'll let you two talk."

With that he walks over to Abby and pats her on the shoulder, "Everything will be okay Abby."

She smiles at him, "Thank you Fitz."

He walks into my room and when he closes the door Abby bursts into tears. I rush over to her and envelope her in a hug. "Abby, what's wrong?"

I lead her over to the sofa and she just continues to sob so I just hold her and stroke her hair gently. Finally she seems to calm down and she pulls back from me just a little bit.

"Abby, talk to me?" I plead.

She wipes away the mascara that's running down her porcelain cheeks with her tears and takes a deep breath. "It's Mark."

"Mark, your boyfriend?"

She nods her head, "Yeah, we've been dating for a couple months and I really actually like him, I mean you know me, I _rarely_ ever genuinely like someone. And it had been going really well and I knew he had a bit of a temper but last night I spent the night at his house and we got into a stupid fight and he got so mad that he threw this vase across the room and he grabbed my arm so tightly that he left a bruise and I just…I don't know what to make of it because it's never happened before and I really like him but he really scared me and I'm just…I'm confused Liv."

I purse my lips, "Abby, I understand that you like him but it's not okay that he scared you like that and it's not okay for him to leave a mark on you. Ever."

She nods her head, "I know. I know that but I don't know."

I pull her back into my arms and she just continues to cry. Before I know it it's eleven o'clock and Fitz pops his head into the room.

I lift Abby up lightly and look her in the eyes, "Hey why don't you go take a shower?"

She nods her head and heads into the bathroom.

I just sit there on the sofa because I don't know what to do and Fitz comes over to me with a very concerned look on his face. He sits down next to me on the sofa and puts his hand on my knee. "Hey, what's going on?"

I'm almost so upset by Abby's confession that I can feel the tears threatening at my eyes. It's just so upsetting that a man would ever do that to a woman. "Abby and her boyfriend got into a fight and apparently he threw a vase across the room and grabbed her arm so hard that she's got a bruise."

Fitz's face falls and he pulls me into his side, scooping my legs up and over his lap and holding me close to him.

"I just, I get that it's not the worst thing in the world and maybe it was a one time only thing but I can't help but think that this is just the beginning and she's my best friend and I don't want her to get hurt and I'm going to kill him if he lays another hand on her. I just…I don't understand what kind of man does that."

Fitz sighs, "A real man doesn't do that."

"I don't know what to do Fitz. I want to help her but I don't know how."

Fitz presses his lips to my temple, "You just be there for her and you listen to her and you try to do whatever you can for her. You're a good friend Liv, you'll figure it out."

I nod my head; "I think I should spend the night with her. That's what we used to do in school when one of us was really upset about something. We'd sleep in the same bed and we would just talk. I used to do it with my sisters and Abby and I started doing it too. I don't know why but it always helps."

Fitz nods, "I think that's a good idea. I can head back home."

"You don't have to leave. You can stay in my room. I'll probably end up back there anyway after Abby falls asleep. It might be late but I usually wake up during the night anyway and wander back to my room."

"Okay, I'll stay."

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you more." He whispers in my ear.

The next few days go by and Abby seems okay so Fitz and I decide that we can spend Friday night at his house. He heads there straight after work and I go home to check on Abby and get dinner with her. Luckily she's going out for drinks tonight with Lauren, Savannah, and Quinn so hopefully that will keep her away from Mark. Then tomorrow she's coming over to Fitz's house to spend a day by the pool with me—she's incredibly excited about that.

I walk into Fitz's house and walk through the foyer and into the living room. I don't see Fitz so I walk into the kitchen and he isn't there either. All of a sudden I hear him call my name, "Livvy, I'm in the drawing room."

I turn around and walk over to the drawing room where Fitz is sitting on the floor with about a dozen large books surrounding him and looking very frustrated. I can't help but laugh, "What on earth are you doing?" I say as I plop down next to him and open up one of the books.

"Oh my god Fitz these are photo books! How did I not know you kept these in here, I was so close to seeing you when you were growing up and you never said anything. " I exclaim excitedly.

Fitz laughs, "Charlotte wants these pictures of us at the old Carmel house for this new photo book she's making and I can't find them."

I look over to him and I can't help but grin, "So you want me to help you find them?"

He laughs and shakes his head, "Yes Livvy, I would greatly appreciate it."

I can't help but squeal as I start to go through the book in my lap. I notice that this book contains pictures of Fitz when he's older. His OCS graduation, flight school graduation, pictures of him in the Navy and I can't help but think about how gorgeous he looks in the uniform.

"God Fitz, you look gorgeous in this uniform." Just looking at the pictures of him is making my cheeks flush and the heat is starting to pool in my belly.

He puts down the book he's currently looking at and scoots closer to me. "Oh my god, this seems like a lifetime ago."

"Is this your Dad?" I ask, pointing to a silver haired man next to Fitz in a few of the pictures.

He smiles, "Yeah, that was my Dad. And this," he says pointing to a few other people in another picture, "this is my Aunt Mary and Uncle Jeff and this goof is Charlotte."

I grin, "She hasn't changed much."

He laughs and nods his head.

"Where's Mellie? Didn't she come to any of these things?"

"She did, I'm sure there are pictures of her in one of the boxes of loose photos in the cabinet but Charlotte is the one who put all these photo books together and therefore Mellie will not appear in any of them."

"She never liked her?"

Fitz grins, "Never. Thought she was a 'cold-hearted bitch', I believe that was Charlotte's favorite phrase to describe her."

"Are there pictures of your wedding in here?"

Fitz sighs, "Olivia you don't want to see those."

I bite my lip, "I don't know. Maybe I do."

He shakes his head, "I'm sure they're in a box over there. You can find them if you'd really like to but I don't know why you would. It's a part of my life that's over, you're my new life."

I turn to look at him and grab his hand lightly. "I don't need to look at them. I would like to see some pictures of you when you were a little boy though."

He grins and reaches over to grab a book off the floor and replaces the book in my lap with the new one and opens it.

I can't help but squeal as I catch a glimpse of the adorableness of Fitz at age five. We flip through the book and there is picture upon picture of Fitz as a little boy. We're going through the book and we come across one of a young Fitz with gorgeous curly blonde hair, a huge grin on his face, a school uniform, and his parents standing proudly beside him. I look down to read the caption, "Tripp, Clara and Jerry on Tripp's first day of kindergarten."

I turn to him, confusion evident on my face, "Tripp?"

"My Mom used to call me Tripp, you know like triple? Since I was Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the Third. She liked to call me Tripp."

"Tripp." I say, testing it on my tongue. "It suites you in an odd way."

He laughs, "Um, thank you, I think."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it in a bad way. You know like how Olive sort of suites me as well, but the childhood version of me?"

Fitz laughs, "I know what you meant I just like it when you get flustered."

I smack him playfully on the chest; "I think you're the only person who can fluster me anymore."

He leans in and kisses me lightly. "Good."

I playfully shove him off me, "You're such an egomaniac." I go back to looking at the pictures

"My god Fitz you were the cutest little boy I've ever seen in my life. Look at your little blonde curls. Oh my god you were precious. You know all I wanted when I was a little girl was curly blonde hair. I'm actually jealous of you right now."

Fitz laughs and runs a hand through my hair. "I like your hair. I wouldn't change it for anything."

I flip to another picture, it's Fitz's sixth birthday and he looks so happy. He's sitting on his mothers lap in front of an enormous cake. I see that Charlotte is next to him and a few older children are there as well. It looks like they are on vacation because the background is a massive glass door with an expansive ocean behind it.

"Where were you in this picture?" I ask because the caption doesn't say.

He takes a closer look, "Um, let's see. Oh my sixth birthday, we were in Maui."

"Must have been nice. I wish I could have known you then. Charlotte said you were the sweetest little boy she's ever known."

He laughs, "When I was six years old you wouldn't even have been born for another almost twelve years."

I purse my lips, "That kind of puts it into perspective doesn't it. I mean, when you were graduating high school I wasn't even one year old. When you were graduating OCS and flight school I was only five years old. You were getting married and I was only ten years old. You were…"

Fitz scrunches his eyes together and puts a hand on his forehead and interrupts me, "Olivia can we please not talk about what a cradle-robbing pervert I am right now."

"Fitz, don't say that. Remember how upset you were when I called myself your mistress? Well it upsets me when you call yourself a cradle-robbing pervert. I'm not some child you took advantage of. I'm a grown woman and I make my own decisions and believe me you'd never been able to have me if I hadn't wanted you back."

The hand that's been playing with the ends up my hair, "You're right. I am the luckiest man in the world because you wanted me back."

I just stare into his eyes for a moment and after a little while he breaks the silence. "So when do I get to see pictures of you as a kid?"

I laugh, "Well, I have a few photo albums at my apartment but most of them are still at my parents house."

"I'd like to meet your parents someday." He says quietly.

I give him a small smile, "I'd like that too. Actually they really want to meet you; I probably talk about you too much."

He's grinning, "Oh yeah, what do you tell them about me?"

"That you're a horrible boss, you have terrible body odor because you never shower, and you are hideously unattractive."

He's laughing so hard he's clutching his stomach. "Oh yeah, hideously unattractive huh?"

I start to laugh along with him, "I can't believe out of all three of those options the one you chose to focus on was 'hideously unattractive'. You are very shallow Mr. Grant."

He catches me off guard when he lunges forward and tackles me to the ground. He's straddled over my pelvis and he has my arms pinned to the floor on either side of my head and he starts to kiss me lightly all along my jaw and my neck and after a few moments he abruptly stops.

"Fiiiiitz." I moan.

He flashes a wicked smile at me; "I didn't think you'd want someone as hideously unattractive as I am kissing you so I stopped."

I let out an exasperated sigh, "I take it back you baby!"

He releases my arms and presses his body down against mine and starts to kiss me again while running his hands along my sides and they slowly slip underneath my shirt.

I moan and break away from him for a moment to catch my breath. I can already feel the heat pooling in my stomach and Fitz's erection is pressed to my thigh. "Quick and dirty?" I proposition him.

He grins, "On Charlotte's photo books? Absolutely."

I can't help but laugh but soon my laughter quickly turns into noises of pleasure I have no control over.

Fitz peels my shorts off my body with ease and I manage to unbutton and unzip his pants and push them part way down his bum. He reaches down and slides his underwear down just enough and he doesn't even take my underwear off, he just pushes it over to the side and thrusts into me with so much force that I'm practically seeing stars.

His mouth finds mine again and we find a hard and fast rhythm and I know I'm not going to last very long and by the sound of the grunts coming from Fitz I don't think he's going to last long either.

Sure enough after several minutes I'm totally over the edge and Fitz follows soon after, collapsing onto the floor next to me with his arm draped over my chest.

I adjust my underwear and I turn over to him and kiss him lightly. "Quick and dirty is so hot with you."

He grins, "I'd love to do that on my desk at work."

I start to laugh and I roll over onto my back, "You are never going to give up on that are you?"

He's now lying beside me with his head propped up on his hand, "Absolutely not, I'm no quitter."

I can't stop laughing. I absolutely adore this man. "Hey um, when I was telling you how Victoria found out about us I spaced out about something and I meant to talk to you about it."

Fitz adjusts his pants and then looks up at me with serious eyes, "Okay, what is it?"

"Well, my parents mentioned that they're planning a trip to Africa in August."

Fitz nods his head, "To see your family?"

"Yeah and to celebrate Caroline's graduation. It's tradition that the graduate gets to pick a couple places we go. Like when Victoria graduated we went to Namibia and Ghana, when I graduated we went to Mozambique and Tanzania, and Caroline has chosen Botswana and Kenya."

"That sounds amazing. How long of a trip would it be?"

I sigh, "Well they didn't say exactly but Vic's and mine were both three weeks so I'd assume it will be about the same."

Fitz groans, "I'm happy for you, I know you'll have a great time, but the thought of not seeing you for three weeks sounds like hell."

I grin and I stroke my hand over his chest. "Well I don't know if I'd go for the whole trip, it depends on if Cyrus has that job for me or not and if so what time I can get off and all that but if I do end up going for more than a week then, well…my parents gave the okay to bring boyfriends. So…if I do have the job with Cyrus and I'm not working for you anymore and we can tell my parents beforehand then you can possibly go with us. And even if you could only do a few days it would be really nice if you could come to Kenya with us. We go to this amazing resort in Lamu called the Majlis. It's incredibly gorgeous. I don't know, I know that all of this is a big IF but if we can make it happen I'd really love for you to come."

Fitz is just grinning at me as I'm stuttering through my speech.

He leans in and kisses me lightly on the lips, "I wouldn't miss it for the world. I would fly there just for a day if it meant I got to spend it with you."

I can feel my face getting flush and I grab his shirt and pull him in to kiss him. "I love you."

"I know." He murmurs against my mouth.

A few hours later it's almost 12 and we are watching a horror film in Fitz's living room. I am curled into his side, I'm not really scared but it's a great excuse to cuddle up to him, when all of a sudden the intercom for the gate rings.

I turn to him with a confused look. "Are you expecting someone?"

He shakes his head, "No." And then he gets up to head to the kitchen and look at the video feed.

"Liv, I think this is Abby."

I shoot up off my seat and I run to Fitz to look at the video feed and it's definitely Abby. I hit the intercom button, "Abby, are you okay?"

All I can hear are sobs and I'm starting to get really scared. Fitz immediately hits the button to open the gate and I tell her to pull down the driveway and up to the garage and then Fitz and I both bolt out of the house.

I reach her car first and I open her door because she seems frozen to the seat and she's still sobbing.

"Abby, what's going on?" I ask, placing my hand on her shoulder.

"Liv, I didn't know where else to go." She finally manages to sputter out.

"Abby, you can always come to me, what's going on?" I'm really nervous because in my gut I know this is going to be bad and I'm trying to brace myself for it.

Finally she turns her head to me and I can't help but gasp because her cheek is a nasty combination of red, purple, and blue.


	29. Chapter 29

_"And that taught me you can't have anything, you can't have anything at all. Because desire just cheats you. It's like a sunbeam skinning here and there about a room. It stops and gilds some inconsequential object, and we poor fools try to grasp it—but when we do the sunbeam moves on to something else, and you've got the inconsequential part, but the glitter that made you want it is gone."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned_

* * *

I cover my mouth with my hand and I grab onto Fitz, who's standing next to me, and I brace myself on him.

He gently pulls me up and out of the way and scoops Abby up out of the car and into his arms.

I turn off the car and grab her purse and we head into the house. Fitz sets her down gently on the sofa and tells her he's going to get her a glass of water and turns to me and gives me a look that I know means he wants me to follow him.

"What the hell is going on Olivia?" He whispers as he fills a glass of water. "Did her boyfriend do this?"

I shake my head, "I'm sure he did. That son of a bitch I am going to kill him."

He grabs my arm gently and pulls me closer to him. "Olivia, you need to go over there and talk to her and find out what happened and then we are taking her to the hospital. That bruise looks nasty her cheek bone could be broken."

I glance over at Abby who is sitting stone still on the sofa and I nod my head. Fitz hands me the glass of water and then he leans back against the counter and pulls out his phone I assume to call the hospital and let them know we're coming.

I walk over to Abby and hand her the glass. She tries to take a sip and winces as she purses her lips and I cringe because I know it's due to the massive bruise on her beautiful face.

I sit next to her on the sofa and I put my hand on her knee. "Abby, what happened?"

She sighs and turns to face me. "Mark." She says before bursting into tears again and leaning into my arms so that she's sobbing into my shoulder and I am stroking her back.

"I thought you were getting drinks with Lauren, Savannah, and Quinn after we ate?"

She nods her head against me and starts to speak, her voice muffled by my body. "I did. I left a little after you did and we went out for drinks and we went to that dueling piano bar and Mark was there with his friends and so they came over and sat with us and everyone was starting to split up so I just went home with him and he was being so nice and he apologized profusely for hurting me and so I thought it would be okay and I went home with him and then it just all went to hell from there."

I take a deep breath because I'm getting really angry. I knew we should have told Lauren about Mark hurting Abby. She would have never let her leave with him. I didn't tell her because Abby wanted it kept quiet but I'm kicking myself because I knew I should have anyway.

Abby sighs, "So we were just hanging out and drinking more at his place when I got a text message from Ben and he freaked out and then we just kind of got into this huge fight and finally I told him that I was sick of his jealousy and his ridiculous mood swings and I got up to grab my things and leave and he got to my purse first and kept yelling at me saying that I wasn't allowed to leave and I told him to fuck off because I could do whatever I damn well pleased and then he sort of shoved me and I was a little shocked by that so I backed off and then we just kept yelling and he finally set my bag down so I went to grab it and he called me a fucking bitch and then he just hit me. And it was so hard that I fell down and he just walked away and into his room and slammed the door and I was so shocked that I just got up and ran out of there and I drove all the way here because I couldn't go back to an empty apartment and my parents are gone and I didn't want to go back to their empty house and I didn't know where else to go and I just needed you Liv." She manages to get all her words out before bursting back into tears and I don't really know what to say so I just sit there stroking her hair until Fitz comes over to us and mouths 'we need to go' to me. I nod my head and pull away from Abby a little bit so I can see her face.

"Abby, we need to take you to the hospital."

"Liv, no, no I'm fine." She pleads.

I look up at Fitz and thankfully he comes to my rescue. He kneels down beside us so we are at eye level and he addresses Abby softly. "Abby we need to go to the hospital. Your cheekbone could be broken and we need to make sure that you're okay. We also need to report this…"

As he says that Abby starts shaking her head 'no'.

Fitz continues, "Abby, we have to report this to the police. This is very serious, no one should ever harm you like this especially not a boyfriend. This is not all right Abby, this isn't supposed to happen, you do not deserve to be treated like this."

Abby doesn't speak for a moment, like she's taking in Fitz's words. Finally she nods her head in agreement and whispers, "Okay."

Fitz gives her a small smile and reaches out to help her up from the sofa.

It's a painfully silent ride to the hospital and when we get there I'm expecting to wait forever at the emergency room but instead we are seen right away. It turns out Fitz has called in a favor to a friend of his who is an ER doctor. She has come in on her night off just to see Abby. Fitz and I are waiting outside the room, Dr. Bauman has finished examining Abby and now they are talking to a police officer.

I am sitting in the horribly uncomfortable waiting room chairs with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands as Fitz rubs my back gently.

"Fitz I feel like this is my fault." I whisper.

He leans forward, "Liv, how the hell is this even remotely your fault?"

I sit up and turn toward him, "Because I should have been there for her. I've barely been around the last few months. I've been so preoccupied with our relationship that I haven't been there for her like I should have been. I should have met this guy months ago and I would have known, my gut would have told me he was trouble and I could have saved her this agony."

"Livvy, you couldn't have prevented this. This is in no way your fault."

I shake my head, "Fitz, I should have been there for her. She was there for me when Huck died. The entire time we were abroad I don't think she left my side once. She's my best friend Fitz and I feel like I've failed her."

Fitz reaches over and pulls me into his lap. I nuzzle my head into his neck and he kisses my temple lightly. "Livvy, you haven't failed her. You couldn't have stopped this. You cannot blame yourself. All you can do now is be there for her and show her that you'll stick by her through anything."

I tilt my head upward and kiss him lightly on his jaw, I know he's right but I still feel like there's something I should have done.

I sit there on his lap until Abby, Dr. Bauman, and a police officer walk out of the exam room and I jump up and Fitz is quick after me.

Abby gives me a small smile and Dr. Bauman starts to speak, "We have everything we need from Abby. Thankfully her cheekbone isn't broken, just badly bruised. Though she needs supervision for the next twenty-four hours at least to make sure nothing develops in that time."

"That won't be a problem Jess. Thank you so much for coming in today." Fitz says, reaching out to shake her hand.

Dr. Bauman smiles, "It was no problem Fitz, I was more than happy to help."

She then turns to address Abby, "If you have any problems please call me. Day or night, I'm more than happy to help you with anything."

Abby manages another small smile, "Thank you very much."

I reach out for her hand and she, Fitz, and I head to the car.

It's another quiet car ride and once we arrive back at Fitz's house, Fitz and I set Abby up in one of his guest rooms and I help her put a special compress on her face to make the bruise heal more quickly. I give her a pair of my pajamas and I wait for her on the bed until she dresses in them.

She gets into bed and I snuggle up to her. "Abby I'm so sorry this happened to you. I should have been there for you."

She grabs my hand, "Liv, you are always there for me. There's nothing you could have done to prevent this. It's just a shitty thing that ended up happening and that's that. It's no one's fault but Marks."

I sigh into her shoulder, "I'm just sorry I wasn't there to get to know him before this happened."

"Liv, your gut is great but it can't stop everything from happening. This sucks but it could have been a lot worse."

I sigh and nod my head; I know she's right. "Do you want to watch a movie or something? Fitz has like every channel you could ever want."

She shifts onto her back and turns to look at me, "Absolutely, Veep on demand?"

I grin, "Definitely." And I turn on the tv.

An hour later the Xanax has finally kicked in and Abby is out like a light. I climb out of the bed and turn off the light so she can get a good night's sleep. When I walk into Fitz's room I look over at the clock and I see that it's already four in the morning. I'm happy to see that Fitz is still up though; he's lying in bed reading a book. He's got his reading glasses on and I must say I find him ridiculously attractive in them. He notices me come into the room and looks up, "Hey baby, how's she doing?"

I sigh, "She's okay. She's totally passed out. I'm exhausted. I'm going to get ready I'll be out in five." I say, signaling with my hand. Fitz nods and I head into the bathroom and get ready and a few minutes later I walk back into the bedroom. Fitz has now put his book down and he is leaning against the headboard with his glasses still on.

I crawl into bed but instead of getting in on my side I climb on top of Fitz so that I am straddling him and put my arms around his neck and bury my face in his soft hair.

He wraps his arms around my torso and pulls me close to him and we just sit there like that for a little while.

I pull back just a little bit and run my hands through Fitz's hair and look into his eyes. "I like your glasses." I say quietly.

He just smiles at me for a moment before he asks the million-dollar question, "How are you sweet baby?"

I shake my head, "Overwhelmed. I'm so angry for her and I'm angry that I couldn't do anything to prevent it and I just…I'm confused and I don't know what to do."

"You're doing fine Livvy, she just needs you to be her friend right now and you're doing a great job of that."

"Thank you for everything you've done by the way. Calling your doctor friend, calming Abby down so she'd go to the hospital, letting her stay here."

"It's nothing Livvy. She's your best friend, she's one of the most important people in your life and that means she's important to me too."

I can't help it when I start to cry. I've been holding my emotions in all night and they were bound to burst out eventually.

Fitz's face falls, "Oh Livvy." He says as he strokes my back gently.

I bury my head in his neck and just let myself cry it out for a few minutes. When I start to compose myself I lift my head up and lightly kiss him on the cheek.

"Thank you for being so kind. You have such a big heart and I don't know if I'm good at vocalizing how good and wonderful you are and I just needed to say it. Because you're so good and you're so kind and you treat everyone with respect even though you could be a pompous ass if you wanted to be. I'm just so lucky to have such a truly great man in my life."

Fitz turns my head and he kisses me softly on the lips. "You never have to thank me for treating you the way you deserve to be treated. I absolutely adore you Olivia Pope and I couldn't stand it if I ever caused you any pain, physical or emotional."

I wrap my arms more tightly around his body so that I can feel him as close to me as possible. I just hang on for a little while. I just need to feel like I'm on solid ground and Fitz has become my anchor. After a little while I pull back and brush his now messy hair back into place.

"Sorry Fitz, I really messed up your hair." I say with a giggle.

He grins, "I don't mind." And he reaches up to tuck a loose strand of my own hair behind my ear and then gently cups my cheek in his palm. "It's been a long night. You need to sleep beautiful girl."

I nod my head and I slide over to my side of the bed. I slip under the covers and as soon as I pull them up, Fitz's arms are around my body and pulling me close to him. He nuzzles his head in the crook of my neck and I doze off to sleep.

The next morning I wake up to the sound of knocking at Fitz's bedroom door. I am still curled up next to a sleeping Fitz and when I open my eyes I see that Abby has her head poked through the door.

"Get over here." I yawn groggily.

She tiptoes over to me and I pull back the covers. "Get in. I'm still tired." And a minute after she crawls under the covers I am fast asleep again.

By the time I wake up again it's almost 10 am and I am wedged in between Abby and Fitz, both of whom are still sleeping. I try to adjust myself without waking either of them up but I fail miserably and I end up elbowing Fitz in the chest.

He groans as he groggily opens his eyes and rubs his chest. "I'm so sorry Fitz." I whisper.

He props himself up and sees Abby on the other side of me. "Did I wake up in an episode of Grey's Anatomy?" He quips.

I can't help but laugh and we both get out of bed as quietly and gently as we can so as to not wake Abby up.

We both head into the bathroom and Fitz pulls me in for a morning kiss. "Yuck," I frown, "Morning breath."

He laughs and just kisses me again and truthfully I don't mind. I only said that because I knew it would make him kiss me again.

"So what do you want to do today?" He asks me as he heads to his sink to start getting ready.

"Honestly, I'm still pretty tired. I think we should just lounge outside until Abby wakes up."

Fitz nods his head, "Sounds like a plan."

An hour later Fitz and I are lounging together on the outdoor sofa snacking on strawberries and pineapple and doing the crossword puzzle in the paper when Abby find us outside.

"Hey sleepy head how are you?" I ask her.

She yawns and plops down next to us. Her cheek looks bad still but it's definitely less red and already turning dark purple and green thanks to the apple cider vinegar trick I learned from my Grandma.

"I'm okay, sorry I slept so long. What are you guys up to?"

I push the bowl of strawberries over to her. "We are snacking and working on this mornings crossword puzzle."

She laughs and looks down at the puzzle sitting in front of me. "God, you guys are such an old married couple."

"Hey it's a gorgeous day out and there's still plenty of time for you two to get some sun if you want." Fitz chimes in.

Abby smiles, "Yeah, I'd like that. Oh crap, I don't have my swimsuit." Her smile fades into a frown.

I shake my head, "Don't worry about that. I've got a few over here. Come on, let's go get them on."

Abby and I head upstairs and into Fitz's closet where I rummage through the drawers where I keep some of my spare clothes.

Abby sits on the chaise lounge in the middle of the room and lies back. "Fuck this closet is fantastic."

I laugh, "I know, right? I would be happy living in it."

Abby props herself up on her elbow and grins at me. "It kind of looks like you already do. I mean, Liv, look at how much of your stuff is here. And you're so comfortable here."

I freeze in my place when she says this. "Um, I guess it's just an easy place to get comfortable in."

Abby laughs, "Yeah I can understand that, it's just strange to see you in such a grown-up relationship. I never actually pictured you settling down with someone until you were a lot older. You've just always been such a free spirit, I figured you'd be too busy traveling the world and writing to actually find someone and settle down. You guys act like you've been together for years instead of just a few months. I knew you guys were serious I just didn't really realize that you were _this_ serious."

I must look scared because she quickly adds in, "But that's good Liv. Fitz is truly an awesome guy and you deserve that. He treats you so well and he's so supportive. I'm really happy that at least one of us is finally in a healthy relationship."

I give her a small, sad smile, "Abby, do you want to talk about what happened?"

She shakes her head, "No, I just want to forget about it. It happened once and I'm never going to let it happen again. We are done for good and I am definitely pressing charges. I'm not going to cower and run away, I'm going to stand up for myself and I am going to be strong."

I smile, "You are strong, but being upset doesn't make you weak, you're allowed to have an emotional reaction."

She sits upright, "I know Liv but honestly I'm not upset anymore, I'm all cried out and now I'm just pissed. I don't want to cry about it anymore, I want to do whatever I can to make sure he doesn't hit another woman ever again."

I walk over to her and sit down next to her, "And that is one of the many reasons why I love you."

She smiles and puts her head down on my shoulder.

"Hey, did you call your parents?"

She sighs, "Not yet. I think I'm going to just let them enjoy Saint-Malo and tell them when they get home. I know my Mom will be upset and my Dad will be beyond pissed and want to murder Mark and I also know that they'll probably fly home immediately and that would just make me feel bad. Plus you know how my Mom gets, she'll want me to be home and she will hover and while I appreciate everything she does for me, I just don't need that right now."

"Okay, I get that. If you need me to come with you when you tell them just let me know."

"Thanks Liv." She says as she sits up.

I hand her a swimsuit and she smiles. "Let's get some sunshine."

We change into our suits and head downstairs to find Fitz has moved into the kitchen and is now reading a book and sipping an enormous mug of coffee.

"Fitz, are you going to lay out with us?" Abby asks.

He shakes his head, "No, I thought I'd give you two some girl time."

"Oh come on Fitz, tan with us! It'll be fun and I'll get to see you without a shirt."

Fitz laughs and I glare at Abby. "What?" She says, holding her hands up in the air like she has no idea why I'm glaring at her. "Come on, don't I get a battered girlfriend pass today? I think seeing Fitz shirtless will really help me get through this difficult time."

I roll my eyes and link my arm through hers, "Well, Fitz, we can't argue with that logic now can we?"

Fitz laughs again, "All right twisted sisters, you head outside and I'll finish this up and be out within the hour, is that all right?

Abby grins wildly, "Yes! Let's go Liv." And with that she drags me outside and I just go along with it because although I know she's trying to make jokes and act like everything is okay, I know this is her way of coping.

We spend most of the afternoon outside talking, napping, and taking the occasional dip in the pool. Around six Fitz decides to order us dinner and we all retreat to the house to clean up. I show Abby everything in the guest bathroom and by the time I head back to Fitz's room he is already in the shower.

He notices me in the bathroom and pokes his head out the door, "Join me."

I smile, quickly strip out of my swimsuit and hop into the shower with him. He wraps his arms around my body and pulls me close to him. His mouth finds mine and he kisses me hard. He pulls back to run his hands through my hair, "Hi." He says, smiling down at me.

"Hi." I respond, before my lips find his once again. Our kissing is needy and hard because for some reason I just want Fitz as close to me as possible. He backs me up and presses me into the cool wall of the shower and I can feel his erection hard against my stomach. I groan from the contact and he starts to kiss his way down my chest. His mouth and fingers start to tease my breasts and I can't help but arch forward into his touch. He grabs me around the waist and he turns me around. I stick my bum out and I brace myself against the wall.

Fitz runs a hand up my back and moves my hair to the side so he can kiss my neck. He then moves his hand to my front and runs it down my body until he finds my core and his fingers start to work their magic.

His other hand grasps my hip and soon enough he thrusts into me and doesn't waste any time before he starts to move.

I press my hands against the wall and lean back so the angle is deeper and I can feel his taunt muscles against my back.

Fitz is groaning in my ear as he thrusts and my body feels so spectacular that I can't tell which direction is up.

His hand moves downward to grip my thigh the other hand moves up my body and grasps my neck, turning my head to face him so that our lips find each other once again.

We continue to devour each other and his hand finds its way from my neck to my breasts. He caresses and teases me and soon enough I can feel my orgasm rip through my body and all of a sudden I can't feel the floor anymore. Luckily Fitz has a firm grasp on me and he holds me upright as he finishes moments later but after that he pulls me down with him so he is sitting on the shower bench and I am in his lap. We are both breathing heavily and it takes us both a few minutes to catch our breaths.

Fitz reaches up pulls up both up and then flips a lever in the shower that switches it from the rain shower we currently have on to the four massaging shower jets up and down the wall on each side. The water feels glorious as it hits the side of my body and I turn around to Fitz so that I can reach up and kiss him.

"Your shower feels so good." I mumble into his mouth.

I can feel him grin without even looking. "_You_ feel so good." He responds.

We just continue to kiss for a little while until Fitz grabs my bottle of shampoo and squeezes a dab into his hand and then starts to massage the shampoo into my hair. I turn around so that he can have a better angle and I remember the first time he ever washed my hair after our very first night together. That is one of the fondest memories I have and I can't help but smile to myself as I reminisce. I glance around the large shower. Four months later and the shower nook that was once empty save for Fitz's essentials, is now almost full with my things mixed in with Fitz's.

He turns my body around to face him once again so he can rinse the shampoo out of my hair. I reach my hand up and caress him, running my hand through his chest hair and over his hard muscles.

He finishes rinsing my hair and his hands move to cup my cheeks, bending my head upward so I can look him in the eye. "What's wrong Livvy?" He asks, concern evident in his voice.

I sigh but manage to smile, "Nothing is wrong."

He frowns, "Livvy."

I smile, "Really Fitz, I'm just tired."

He nods his head but I don't think he believes me fully so I bring my other hand up and place it on the other side of his chest so that I can feel his heart beating. "I love you." I whisper.

He smiles back at me, "I love you."

We finish our shower and by the time we get ready and make our way downstairs the takeout has arrived.

Abby walks down the stairs as the food arrives and she looks happy. "I could have just stood in that shower forever."

I grin, Fitz's guest bedrooms have almost equally as nice showers as his master bathroom.

"When you move in here can I be your awkward third wheel roomie?"

I shake my head, "Abby I'm not moving in here anytime soon."

She rolls her eyes at me and laughs, "Sure you aren't."

Fitz has taken the food into the kitchen and we follow him. We eat our dinner and chat and then decide to watch a movie but by 10 PM we are all completely spent and decide to head to bed.

We get up the stairs and Abby surprises me when she envelops me in a hug. "Thanks Liv, you're the best friend anyone could ask for."

She lets me go and to Fitz's surprise she also gives him a hug, "Fitz, thank you so much for everything. You're a gem."

He smiles and hugs her back, "You're a gem too, Abby. Don't forget that."

I grin at their interaction and Abby pulls back and then leans in to kiss me on the cheek, "Goodnight lovebirds. I'll see you in the morning."

And with that we all head to bed.

We all wake up late the next morning and we all lounge around the house for a little while. Around 12 Abby decides she needs to head home and I agree that I will follow her shortly afterward. She leaves and I gather my things together and head downstairs to find Fitz relaxing in the living room.

"Fitz, we need to talk."

He looks up to face me, grinning, but his face quickly falls when he sees how serious I am. "Olivia, are you all right?"

I sit down next to him on the sofa and I turn sideways so that I am facing him. "Fitz, I think…I think we need to take a step back." I say calmly.

He frowns, "I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to tell me?"

I sigh, "I think that we need to take a…um, crap I want to call it a break but I don't really mean that…not a break, I can't find the words…I just think we need to…"

Fitz interrupts me, "You want to break up?"

"No!" I exclaim, "I absolutely do not want to break up. I just think that we need to maybe cool this thing down. This ordeal with Abby has made me realize what a terrible friend I've been for the past few months. I've been so consumed with you that I've been neglecting my best friend and now she needs me and I need to be there for her. I need to be a good friend to her and I can't do that when I'm seeing you every single night."

Fitz nods his head, "Olivia, what happened to Abby wasn't your fault. You couldn't have stopped it if there were no warning signs."

"I know Fitz. I know that, but she is my person and she was there for me when I needed her most and I need to put more effort into being her friend so I can do the same thing for her. I owe that to her. I love you Fitz, but I love her too and I need to do a better job of splitting my time between you two."

"So, what does that mean for us?"

I take a deep breath, "This week I think I need to stay at my apartment. I think she's going to need me there this week. I doubt she will want to leave the house until that bruise heals and I think I need to be there with her. After that I think we should limit ourselves to one night a week at your house and I know we usually don't spend a lot of nights at mine but if it's okay with you I think we could do two nights a week at my house."

Fitz is just sitting there quietly for a moment until he finally speaks, "Is this because you're scared?"

It really freaks me out that he knows me so well. I narrow my eyes at him, "What? No, Fitz I'm not scared. This isn't about us, this is about me needing to be a better friend." I'm not lying, I do need to be a better friend, but Fitz is definitely right, I am terrified of how fast we are moving.

Fitz shakes his head, "Really? Because it sounds like you've realized that this is moving rather quickly and that scares you and you're using Abby as an excuse to slow things down."

I stand up because I'm getting angry and I'm starting to internally freak out, "I am not scared Fitz. Stop making this into something it's not."

He chuckles for a second and then stands up, "I'm not going to argue about this. All I'm asking for is honesty from you, from the person I love. If you can't manage that then maybe we do need to take a step back."

"Fitz…I…" I stutter out because I honestly don't know what to say.

He just scoffs, "That's fine. Do what you want Olivia, you always do."

And with that he turns and walks away and I am left completely shocked.


	30. Chapter 30

_"He used to think that he wanted to be good, he wanted to be kind, he wanted to be brave and wise, but it was all pretty difficult. He wanted to be loved, too, if he could fit it in."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

I just stand there alone in Fitz's living room for a few minutes because I don't know what to do. I want to run after him, I want to apologize and tell him how right he is but truthfully right now I'm terrified that he's going to reject me and I can't deal with that thought at this moment. So I do what I do best, I run.

The thing about being a military brat is that you're never in the same place for very long and it tends to give you an out. I have never actually lived in the same city for more than five years, technically I lived in LA County for more than five years but since Malibu and Redondo Beach/Palos Verdes are at least an hour away—on a good day—I don't count that. The thing about moving so often is not getting too attached to people. I was so little when we lived in San Diego that I don't really remember it and when we moved to Bahrain we spent so much time traveling that we didn't have any real opportunities to make friends. My only real friends were my sisters and my cousins. Moving to Okinawa gave me the opportunity to make some friends but the thing was that most of them moved away too. By the time we returned to the states I had learned how not to form attachments to people even when I liked them.

And then I got attached to someone. I got attached to Huck and it felt right. I think deep down a little part of me was convinced I was in love with him, or at least wanted to be in love with him.

The truth is that I don't know how to not be afraid that the people I'm around are going to leave, because it feels like they all do, most of the childhood friends I had, Huck, even my Dad. I was lucky my Dad didn't have typical deployments but at the same time, every time he had to go away for more than a few days there was a little part of me who would be terrified that he wouldn't come back. I've been so afraid of getting attached to someone and then losing them that I've avoided making any more relationships than necessary. And I got lucky; the career I'd always wanted since I was a little girl was one that practically demanded a lack of attachments. I wanted to travel the world, write about what I saw, sure I dreamed of falling in love but I think there was a part of me who never thought it would actually happen or maybe just figured I'd fall in love with someone as nomadic and adventurous as I would be. And now it has happened, against all odds I found someone to love me, but instead of being a serious journalist I am the assistant to a CEO who just so happens to be the person I have fallen for.

I want to be with Fitz, I do, more than anything, but I think that's what's freaking me out. Honestly I want Fitz more than I want the travel and adventure. I would rather come home to him every night than spend my nights in different hotel rooms of different countries.

But even though I realize I do want Fitz more than I want those things I am also aware that I still want those things, maybe not as badly anymore, but I still want them. I don't want to live in San Jose forever. I want to explore the world. I want to write words that will someday matter to someone other than myself. Those things still matter because they are a huge part of the person I've become.

And as much as all those things matter, I've got this nasty feeling creeping up on me that tells me there are things Fitz wants too. Things I'm not ready to give him like a marriage and kids. I know how badly he wants those things; he wants them like I want to be a journalist traveling the world. Which makes me terrified that one of these days Fitz is going to wake up and realize that I'm not enough for him.

I pull in to the parking lot of my apartment complex without even realizing I've driven there. I take a few moments to compose myself because I don't want Abby to know that I'm upset.

I walk upstairs and into our building and I find her curled up on the sofa watching tv. I walk over to her and I sit down.

"Happy Endings marathon?" I ask.

She nods, "Yeah, I talked to my boss and she said to take a couple days off so the next couple days are going to me getting very comfortable with this sofa and a stack of dvds."

I smile, "Maybe I can get tomorrow off and then we can hang."

She shakes her head, "No Liv, don't do that. Save your vacation days. I will be fine by myself, I promise."

"Are you sure? I'd be happy to use a vacation day on you." Honestly I just don't want to go to work and see Fitz.

"I appreciate that but save a vacation day for some weekend and we can go to Tahoe or something. It will be something to look forward to. Ohh does Fitz have a house in Tahoe or Big Bear or Mammoth? I bet he does, do you think he'd let us use it sometime?"

I tense up at the mention of Fitz but I can't burden Abby with my issues right now, she doesn't mean that.

I shrug, "I know he has a couple houses, though honestly I'm not sure exactly how many he has or the locations besides his house in Los Gatos and the one in Carmel."

Abby's eyes light up, "I'd be all for going to Carmel."

I laugh, "I'll talk to him about it."

She grins, "Thanks Liv. By the way, he's a keeper."

I try my hardest to smile, "Yeah I'm very lucky."

She reaches over and pats my knee, "He's lucky too Liv."

I just keep smiling because after the way I've acted today I can't help but think that isn't true.

We spend the night watching Happy Endings and chatting and the next morning comes far too early. I get dressed as slowly as possible and the entire time I'm dreading going to work. I don't even know what I'm going to say to Fitz.

I walk into the office and I greet Martha before heading into my office. I look at the door longingly and Martha reads my mind. "He's already in there, he's a little grumpy this morning, just to warn you."

I purse my lips together, that grumpiness would be my fault. "Thanks Martha."

She gives me a sincere look of pity, "It will be all right Liv."

I smile at her, I'm pretty sure she knows about Fitz and me but Martha is very loyal to Fitz so I know there's no way she'd say anything to anyone.

I walk into my office and get settled in for the morning. Luckily I have a pile of things to do so I don't have to encounter Fitz just yet.

By lunchtime I still haven't seen Fitz and to be honest it's a relief. I decide to head over to Lauren's office and see if she wants to head across the street for coffee instead of getting lunch at the office.

I knock on her door and walk in. She turns around and smiles when she sees me, "Hey Liv!"

I manage a small smile, "Hey Lo, how's it going?"

She narrows her eyes at me, "You look weird, what's going on?"

I sigh, "I'll tell you but we have to go across the street for lunch."

She looks confused but nods her head, "Yeah, that's fine. Let's go."

We head to the café across the street sitting in a booth in the back of the restaurant.

"So what's going on?" Lauren asks, not wasting any time.

I sigh, "God, where do I even begin? Well, for starters Abby's asshole boyfriend hit her and we spent Friday night at the emergency room."

Lauren's face drops, "What? Oh my god Liv, I was with her Friday night and so was he. Fuck, I can't believe I let her go home with him." She says, putting her hands over her face.

"Hey you couldn't have done anything. He had gotten a little rough with her the week before and she made me promise not to say anything but I should have told you. She's got a nasty bruise on her cheek. You should talk to her though; I think you should hear what happened from her. But she came over and spent the weekend with Fitz and me. It was really nice. Fitz was so great." I say, my voice trailing off.

Lauren frowns, "What happened with you and Fitz?"

I sigh; Lauren can read me so well. I won't be able to hide anything from her so I just spill the beans without hesitation. "Abby made some comments and they made me realize how serious Fitz and I were getting and I freaked out and I told him I thought we needed to spend less time together. But I wasn't honest about why and I used Abby as an excuse. Of course he saw right through me and he got pissed and then he just walked away and I ran."

Lauren reaches across the table and grabs my hand, "Hey, just apologize. It's Fitz, he loves you."

I shake my head, "I know but I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm not enough for him." I can feel the tears threatening my eyes but I refuse to let them fall.

Lauren grips my hand tightly, "Hey, don't say that. You don't get to decide that, don't let yourself believe things that aren't true."

"Lauren, I'm not enough for him. I'm not. He deserves to be happy and I'm not sure that I can make him happy. I don't want him to give things up for me. I don't think I could live with myself if he ever hated me."

Lauren frowns, "Liv, you need to talk to him but you need to figure some things out first. Figure out what you really want because neither one of you deserves to get hurt, but don't let what you _think_ Fitz wants dictate how you react to this. You have to make decisions based on what's best for you and trust that Fitz loves you and wants to be with you."

I nod my head and I squeeze Lauren's hand, "Thanks Lo. And thanks for talking this out with me. It's so hard sometimes having to hide from everyone."

A little while later we are back at the office. I'm at my desk and trying to do my work but I'm having a hard time focusing because I keep thinking about Fitz. I can't believe I haven't seen him yet.

As if on cue he knocks on the door in between our offices and pokes his head in the door. His face is stern and he has bags under his eyes as if he didn't sleep well. "Olivia, can you come into my office please?"

I nod my head and jump up. I walk over to him and reach for his arm, "Fitz I…"

But he pulls away from me. "Not now Olivia."

I start to object but as I follow him into his office I see Harrison sitting there. I greet him, trying to be as normal as possible, and I sit down so that we can get to work.

Fitz has been calling me Olivia throughout this entire meeting. I'm trying hard to focus on what's going on but it's hard because I keep hoping that Fitz will call me 'Livvy' or at least 'Liv' but he's not giving me anything.

After the meeting I don't see Fitz for the rest of the day until he leaves. I get up to walk out of my office to try and talk to him but he's already down the hallway and to the elevator.

I sigh and walk back into the office to gather my things and head home. When I arrive at my building I can't bring myself to go in and instead I pull out my phone and dial the phone number of the one person whose advice I can always count on, my Grandma.

It takes a while for her to answer the phone and when she does her voice is groggy and I suddenly feel terrible because although it's 5:30 in San Jose it is 2:30 am in Lusaka.

"Livia?" She says.

"Grandma, oh my gosh I am so sorry I totally forgot about the time difference. I am so sorry I'll call you back tomorrow."

Her voice is stern, "Olivia, what's wrong?"

I sigh, "Don't worry about it Grandma. It's nothing. I'm sorry, I feel terrible for waking you up. I'll just call back tomorrow."

"Olivia Katherine Pope if you are calling me right now there is something going on. I know you too well. Tell me what's going on with you?"

I can't help it when I just start to sob. I can hear my Grandma on the other end of the phone, "Oh sweetheart, what's the matter? Livia talk to me."

I catch my breath and finally I am able to speak. "I think…I think that my relationship is over." And with that I start to sob again.

"Oh darling, talk to me, what happened?"

I tell her all about Fitz and my weekend, about Abby, about everything.

When I finish she is silent for a moment and then she starts to speak. "Livia Kate," she says softly and I smile at the pet name she's had for me since I was a small child. She only uses it when I'm hurt or upset and for some reason hearing her say it always makes me feel a little better.

"Sweet girl everything is going to be all right." She says calmly.

"Grandma what if it's not? What if Fitz leaves me?"

She sighs, "Olivia you two got in a fight but that doesn't mean it's the end. You say you don't know what you want but I think you do. You know deep down in your heart what you really want you just have to say it out loud."

I know she's right, she's always right. I take a deep breath and say, "I love him Grandma."

She laughs, "I know that sweetheart. I don't know Fitz but I do know that he makes you happy. Darling the last couple times I've seen you since you started dating him you've been happier than I think I've ever seen you. Fitz is right, you have to communicate, you have to tell him what you're thinking and feeling even if it scares you. Fitz gave your resume to that man at the Pacific Times so that obviously means he's supportive of your dreams. You have to stop thinking that you have to choose between having a relationship and having a career. You can have everything you want but you have to put in the effort. You have to be open and you have to communicate."

I sigh; I know she's right.

She continues, "I know doing it is much more difficult than just saying it but you can't let that stop you. I want you to have everything you want in life beautiful girl."

I smile and I wipe my eyes, "Okay. You're right, I need to try, I love him so much I can't even think about what I would do if I lost him."

"I know sweetheart and you won't. Talk to him, figure it out together, don't shut him out of your life. You deserve someone who loves you and it would break my heart to see you with a broken heart."

"Thanks Grandma. I'm going to try my hardest, I really am. I'm going to fix this."

"All right sweetheart, I believe in you. I do need to get back to bed but call me soon dear. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Grandma. Goodnight."

The rest of the week goes by slowly. I spend time with Abby after work and I make excuses as to why I'm not seeing Fitz. Work is torture. Fitz barely speaks to me and when he does it's cold and professional so by Friday at 5:30 I decide that the mature thing to do is come clean to Fitz about what's going on and try to take my Grandma's advice and communicate. It's been six days and I can't take this anymore.

I'm almost positive we are the only ones left in the office and so I pull my hair out of its bun and brush it out in an attempt to make myself look a little sexier. I stand up and adjust my skirt and then unbutton the top button on my blouse before taking a deep breath and knocking on Fitz's door.

He doesn't say anything so I poke my head in the door. He's working at his desk, concentrating on something in front of him.

"Fitz, can I talk to you?" I ask timidly.

He doesn't even look up at me; he just nods his head and continues reading. I can't help myself from wishing that the pen in his mouth were any part of my body.

I close the door and walk into his office to stand in front of him. When he still doesn't look up I roll my eyes and I step forward, grabbing his chair with my hand and pulling it away from his desk and then stepping toward them so his knee is between my legs.

He looks at me in surprise but stays silent because I know he wants me to be the first one to speak.

"I'm sorry." I say, "You were right, I got scared and I backed away. I freaked out because Abby mentioned how comfortable and domestic we were and I just…I don't know what else to say except that it scared me because I realized that I wanted you more than I wanted the life I always thought I wanted and that made me feel like there was something wrong with me and I'm just…I'm so sorry."

He sighs and reaches his hand up to grab mine. "Olivia, it's okay to be scared, it's normal, but you have to be honest about it. You can't make excuses and run away."

I nod my head, "I know and I'm sorry. I ran because I was terrified that you were going to break up with me."

He laughs and I glare at him. "That is the silliest thing I've ever heard you say."

I roll my eyes, "It's not funny Fitz, the only other person I've ever really let myself love was Huck and he died. I didn't want to go through that again."

Fitz places his other hand on my neck and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "I'm right here Livvy. But tell me these things, tell me everything, I don't want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me."

I nod my head and place my hand over his on my cheek, "Okay, I can try to do that."

He smiles and his hand makes its way to my shoulder and plays at the collar of my shirt.

I lean down like I'm going to try to kiss him but he moves his hand to my shoulder and he holds me back. "Olivia, you can't fix everything with sex."

I frown and pull back. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to fix this, I realize we need to talk more about this and I'm more than willing to do it. I just…I really missed you this week."

"I've missed you." He replies as his hand starts to move down my shoulder and grazes my collarbone lightly.

My breath hitches at his touch and I reach my hand upward and I place it over his hand and slowly pull it down so that his hand is now covering my breast.

He sighs and closes his eyes. "Fitz," I beg, "I want you."

He opens his eyes and nods his head and smiles at me and I take that as my cue to hike my skirt up and straddle him.

He groans and finally I hear what I've been dying to hear all week, he moans my name softly, "Livvy."

He then grabs my face in his hands and our lips crash together. I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands move down my chest and slowly make their way down to my waist and start to unzip my skirt. My hands follow in his lead and make quick work of his belt. Fitz's hands find their way to the hem of my skirt and push it up and around my waist. He caresses my thighs gently and his hands find my undies. He looks down and groans when he sees the lacy undies I have on, "Were you planning on seducing me at work?"

I laugh, "I wasn't planning on it but you never know."

His hands start to make their way up my torso, caressing my back and my stomach before heading to the buttons on my oxford and slowly unbuttoning them. I pull his tie off him and toss it on the floor and then make my way to his oxford and try to undo the buttons as quickly as possible. We finish at the same time and Fitz immediately rips the shirt off my body and undoes the clasps on my bra with one motion, tossing it to the side and taking my breasts in his mouth. I'm moaning in pleasure at the feel of his extremely talented mouth as it devours my body. My panties are so wet that he can probably feel it through his pants. He abruptly stands up, lifting me onto the desk. He rips my underwear off and tosses it across the room before dropping his pants and underwear and lining himself up with my center. He thrusts into me and I moan in pleasure. I love this kind of sex, it's not slow and seductive, it's fast and passionate and says that you can't waste another moment not being intimately connected to the person you're with. I wrap my legs around his waist and I try to stifle a moan as it allows him to enter me more deeply. His left arm is wrapped around my back and his hand is splayed just above my bum, holding me up, while his right hand massages my breasts and makes its way down between our bodies and makes me squirm as it finds its way to the sensitive bundle of nerves between my legs. He thrusts several more times and I let go, my body writing under him. He stops thrusting and gives me a moment to compose myself. I recover after a few moments and I know that Fitz hasn't finished yet so I tap him on the shoulder and instruct him to sit in his chair. He doesn't question me; he just picks me up off the desk and sits in the chair, still holding me to him. I place my hands on his shoulders and open my legs wider as I start to roll my hips. Fitz squeezes my buttocks with his hands and groans in pleasure. "Oh, god Livvy, you're incredible." He moans as I increase my pace, I can tell he's close and I'm getting closer too. "Fuck, Livvy." He groans and I bite the bottom of his earlobe, sucking on it gently because I know it will push him over the edge. He lets go and a moment later I do too, I collapse on him and he strokes my back as I ride out my high.

I move my head to look at Fitz and see him smiling at me; "You know I'm not going to be able to do any more work after that?" He says with a laugh.

I grin, "Can we go over to your house?"

He smiles as he strokes my back gently, "Of course."

"Are you still upset with me?" I ask timidly.

He laughs, "No, I'm not upset with you anymore, but we're still talking about this later."

I nod my head, "I agree we need to."

He grins and leans in to kiss my lips and I wrap my arms more tightly around his neck and start to kiss him more deeply. Unfortunately it's then that our little bubble is burst in the worst way possible.

All of a sudden Fitz's door starts to open and I hear a voice, "Fitz I was halfway home when I had this great idea for the new campaign and I had to turn around. I think we need to…" Harrison's voice is loud and clear in my ears and my eyes grow wide with horror.

"Oh my god," he exclaims, "what the fuck is going on?"


	31. Chapter 31

"_Actually that's my secret – I can't even talk about you to anybody because I don't want any more people to know how wonderful you are." _

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

I'm suddenly very aware that I'm naked and I press myself against Fitz as he wraps his arms around me to keep Harrison from seeing anything.

Fitz is calm and collected as usual. "Can you give us a minute?" He asks politely.

I hear Harrison scoff, "Why? So you can finish? I don't fucking think so!"

"Harrison," Fitz says sternly, "can you please give us just a minute to get decent?"

Harrison must agree to this because I hear the door slam shut only a moment later.

I jump off of Fitz and I quickly put my shirt and bra on, fix my skirt, and try to make my hair as presentable as I can as Fitz pulls up his pants and tries to smooth his hair down as best he can. I don't even have time to search for my underwear before Harrison bursts back in the room.

"Time is up." He says, and he looks pissed. He takes a deep breath, "Okay, now you need to tell me what the hell is going on?"

I open my mouth to speak and Harrison snaps at me before I get anything out. "Not you." He says, pointing to me. "Fitz, you need to tell me right now why you ever thought sleeping with your assistant, who happens to be practically my little sister, was a good idea?"

I glance over at Fitz and he tries to cover his tracks, "Harrison, it's not what you think. Liv and I are…"

Harrison interrupts, "Do not feed me that line of bullshit! I just walked in here with Liv half naked on your lap do not try and tell me it's not what I think. Because what I think is that you two are fucking."

"HARRISON," Fitz bellows, "that's enough."

There's total silence in the room for a few minutes before Harrison speaks. "On my god, I can't believe this." He covers his face with his hands for a few moments as if he's trying to will this moment away. He then drops them and he turns to look directly at me. "Dammit Olivia, how could you do this? After I stuck my neck out to get you this job you go and sleep with the boss?" He's now glaring at me and he looks absolutely livid.

Fitz doesn't let me respond, "Do not speak to her like that and she didn't start this. I did. I was the one who initiated this. Do not blame her."

I smile because Fitz defended me. He's taking the blame for this when I am probably the one who should bear the majority of the fault because I was definitely the one who initiated this.

"Like that's any better!" Harrison yells right back. "She's twenty-six fucking years old Fitz and you're forty-three, do you realize how bad that sounds?"

I sink down into an armchair and put my head in my hands and close my eyes; maybe if I try hard enough I can apparate out of this room. Fitz and Harrison continue to yell at each other and it's giving me a headache.

"I wasn't thinking about our age difference Harrison, we didn't intend for this to happen, it just did. It's not Liv's fault, she did not seduce me or seek me out and I didn't seduce and seek her out either. It just happened."

"And what the hell happens when you get bored like you always do?"

I shoot my head up and glare at Harrison, I don't know whether I'm more offended by the fact that Harrison just insinuated that I'm boring or the fact that he assumes Fitz will get bored with me."

Fitz's eyes are narrow and he looks really angry, "I'm not going to get bored with her." The way he says it sounds like he's got some sort of disdain for the word 'bored'.

Harrison laughs, "Fitz, you haven't dated anyone for longer than a few months in the whole time I've known you."

Fitz crosses his arms, "So what? You don't know anything about what goes on in my relationships and do you honestly think I would do this, I would jeopardize my standing with this company, if I just wanted a fling?"

I am now staring at Fitz and he is staring back at me, his eyes are like open books divulging his sincerity.

Harrison interrupts our little staring party after a moment, "Fitz, I am concerned about this because Liv is like a sister to me. I got her this job and I'm responsible for making sure she has a good experience. I do not want this job ruining her because she had an affair with her boss."

I cringe, affair. That's the dreaded word. That's the word I'm terrified people are going to use if they find out about Fitz and I before I leave the company. I am grateful that Harrison wants to look out for me but I'm also annoyed that he thinks he's responsible for me. I stand up because I'm sick of them yelling about me like I'm not in the room.

"All right, both of you shut up." I bellow.

I catch them off guard and they both give me surprised looks. "First of all, I'd appreciate it if you both stopped talking about me like I'm not in the room. Second of all, Harrison, I appreciate you being worried about me but I am fine. If Fitz decides to dump me because I'm boring…" Fitz opens his mouth to interrupt but I hold up my hand to halt him "…then I understand that it's my fault and I take responsibility for my actions. I apologize for this, I know it wasn't an appropriate thing to do especially when you were so amazing for getting me this job but you have to let me make my own mistakes."

Harrison bows his head, "Livvy, you're like my sister, I just want what's best for you."

I take a step forward and put my hand on his arm, "I know and I love you for that, but you can't be responsible for me. I'm twenty-six, I need to learn to be responsible for myself."

Harrison nods his head; "I need to go process this…somewhere else…alone…with alcohol…I can't even remember why I came in here in the first place."

Fitz doesn't respond verbally; he just nods his head and crosses his arms.

Harrison stands there like he's confused for a moment and then walks out of the office without saying another word to either of us.

He shuts the door and I sit back into the leather armchair I was previously sitting in and I sink back, putting my hands over my face.

Fitz is just standing there, his arms still crossed like he's just frozen in his place.

It feels like an hour passes before I speak but I know it's probably only several minutes. I take my hands off my eyes and say softly, "Can we please go?"

Fitz looks thrown off by my question and just nods his head as he moves to grab his things.

I head into my office and I grab mine too and walk outside to meet him. We don't say a word to each other as we walk out of the office and into the parking structure toward our cars.

Fitz pauses when he gets to my car, "Are you coming home with me?" He asks quietly.

I nod my head and I notice Fitz's eyes light up a little bit. He grabs my car key from my hand and opens my trunk to grab the overnight bag out of my little Beemer and we head over to his Range Rover and get in.

We're still silent as we pull out of the parking structure and head back to Fitz's house. I'm not entirely sure what to say to him right now but my brain is buzzing with thoughts. I'm internally freaking out by what Harrison said.

We arrive at his house and get out of the car, making our way into his house. Fitz takes my overnight bag up to his room and I walk into the kitchen because I'm starving and I assume Fitz is also starving so I'm going to make us something to eat.

One thing I love about Fitz is how he's got these childish guilty pleasures, my favorite being his love of macaroni. I grab a box from the hidden stash in his pantry and start to prepare it, normally I would make something that required more effort but I'm so emotionally drained right now that I feel physically drained as well.

I hear Fitz walk into the kitchen behind me and he places his hands on my shoulders.

I shiver and move away, I'm too emotional right now and his touch will be the thing that breaks me. I need to calm down; I don't know why I can't calm myself down.

"Livvy…" Fitz pleads, "Come on, please talk to me?"

I can feel the tears threaten my eyes and I can't turn around or else I'm going to start sobbing.

"Livvy please, we have to communicate." He begs, his hand lightly touches my shoulder and the first tear comes crashing down my cheek.

I switch off the heat on the stovetop because I don't want to set off the smoke alarm and I can't be here right now. I try to run away but Fitz stops me, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward him.

He wraps me up in his arms and by then I am sobbing uncontrollably.

"Livvy, I'm so sorry." He holds me like that for a few moments, rocking me in his arms until I've calmed down a little bit.

He then lifts me up into his arms and carries me over to the den where he sits down on our favorite massive armchair and situates me on his lap.

He holds me tightly and strokes my hair and I am slowly calming down.

I can finally breathe again and I look up at Fitz, his eyes are sad and he looks like he's about to cry himself.

I finally get up the courage to speak but I'm afraid I won't be able to get through a sentence without sobbing, "An affair. That's what I'm afraid people are going to call this." I was right, by the end of that sentence I'm sobbing again.

Fitz pulls me closer to him and starts to stroke my hair. He lets me calm down again before he speaks.

"It's not an affair. We know that and that is the only thing that matters."

I shake my head, "We can say that but it's hard to block out what other people say. You and I have our own problems, how is it going to be when we have to deal with other people interjecting their opinions about our relationship onto us? What's going to happen? I mean, that was just Harrison finding out and that was about the worst thing I could have imagined. What happens if we tell my parents? My father will go ballistic. It's just…it's not fair."

He kisses the top of my head, "It's not fair, you're right. And honestly I don't know what to tell you. Yes, when we go public people could call this an affair but you can't worry about that right now. Let's just take this one thing at a time Livvy. We're going to be fine and this is good, you're already communicating better."

I can't help but laugh. I look up and I'm instantly comforted by his beautiful smiling face. I reach my hand up and stroke his cheek. Then I remember what else I was upset about and my face falls back into a frown.

"Are you going to get bored with me?"

Fitz looks almost hurt by this question, "Livvy, no, oh god no. Harrison just said that because that's all he really knows about any of my relationships. You know I haven't seriously dated anyone since I got divorced and I just let my guy friends think it's because I get bored with them because you can't tell your guy friends you're breaking up with a woman just because you don't feel a connection with her. All I've wanted for the past eight years is to find a deep connection with a woman and I never dated anyone for very long because I never found that. When I met you I became harshly aware of how alone I felt with everyone else. I didn't know that's what loneliness was; I didn't think it was possible to feel lonely when you were around other people. I learn new things about you that amaze me and confound me every day. You are the least boring person I've ever met, if either one of us is going to get bored with the other I can promise you will be the one getting bored with me. Please Livvy, please know that you're different. You're like a breath of fresh air; you make me feel like life is new again. Like I've still got things I can discover. Livvy…I'm head over heels for you."

I wipe my eyes because his words have made me start to tear up again and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me.

He kisses the side of my face and holds me close. I pull back after a moment and touch the side of his face with my hand. "I'm sorry I got over-emotional."

Fitz laughs, "Livvy, you never have to apologize to me for having emotions, I'm just happy you're being open and honest with me. This is good for us."

I roll my eyes and lean in to kiss him.

After a moment he breaks away and his hand moves up to my collarbone and he runs his fingers across it, just above the seam of my blouse. "Livvy, earlier you told Harrison to let you make your own mistakes, do you really think this is a mistake?"

I take a deep breath, "I don't know, I don't want it to be a mistake. I hope it's not a mistake but how do we even know? I mean this basically ends in one of two ways, we are happy and we never break up or this all goes to hell and ends with me doing something bonkers like keying my name into your car. And lets face it, the odds are heavily skewed in the direction of failure."

Fitz laughs, "Okay, technically you're right but I believe that those choices fall upon us, no one gets to decide them for us so don't let people like Harrison make you believe things you haven't experienced yourself. We get to decide what happens to us, not anyone else."

I laugh because he's echoing advice from my Grandma. God, she would really like him. I hope they get to meet sometime soon. "Okay, I trust you." I say quietly because I know it's more complicated than Fitz says but I don't want to think about complicated any more and I do trust Fitz.

"That's a step in the right direction then." Fitz says with a smile.

I smile and lean in to kiss him, "Can we just make out now and forget how lame I've acted tonight?"

Fitz laughs, "I am always up for making out with you but you are not acting lame and I am not forgetting what happened tonight. All that happened tonight is we clarified our relationship a bit. And stop being embarrassed, if it's possible I even like you more now."

I bury my head in his shoulder and he runs a hand through my hair.

"Are you hungry?" He asks, kissing my forehead lightly.

I nod my head.

"I'll get up and finish that macaroni you started." He says as he shifts me off him and onto the sofa and moves to get up but I pull him back down and find his lips with my own. I run my hand down his chest and find the bulge in his pants and start to stroke back and forth as I shift around and crawl back onto his lap.

Fitz groans against my mouth.

"Macaroni is not what I'm hungry for." I say as I straddle his lap.

His hands run across my backside and then move to the zipper on my skirt and slide it down.

Fitz sits up and flips us over so he is on top of me and I giggle profusely.

He pulls my skirt down my legs and tosses it across the room and then he starts to laugh.

I glare at him, "What are you laughing at?"

"Because we left your ripped underwear in my office."

I cover my mouth with my hand, "Oh my god I totally forgot about that."

He smiles and his fingers dance on the inside of my thigh, "That's okay, easier access."

And I feel the blush creep onto my cheeks as bends down and positions his head between my legs. I can't help myself when I arch my back and start to grip the arms of the chair.

Fitz splays a hand over my stomach and presses my body back down into the chair as his mouth continues its glorious work.

I feel all the pleasure building up inside me and I don't want to let go because it feels so damn spectacular. But Fitz isn't having any of that and shortly after I feel his finger enter me I let go and completely loose myself.

I open my eyes and though I'm already exhausted, the visual of him hovering above me, unbuttoning my blouse is already making me wet again.

I reach down and undo his belt buckle and unzip his pants, sliding them as far down his legs as I can manage.

He stands up and tosses them to the side, then kneels down on the floor and he pulls my body to the edge of the chair and frees me of my blouse. After that he doesn't waste a minute before swiftly thrusting inside me.

I cry out initially but my body quickly adjusts to the fast pace and forceful thrusts Fitz is giving me.

I wrap my legs around his body and I sit up so that I can also wrap my arms around his body. His mouth finds my breasts and I moan and run my hands through his hair.

Our pace is quick and needy and it doesn't take long before we both come apart and I collapse onto the ottoman and Fitz collapses on top of me.

He's heavy but I like the feeling of his body on mine. His head is on my stomach and we both need a few minutes to catch our breaths. Fitz is the first to move as he starts to softly kiss my stomach. I giggle and he looks up at me so I say, "We should probably clean up the kitchen."

Fitz laughs, "No, we can leave that for tomorrow. All I want to do right now is get you into bed."

I grin, "That's because you're insatiable. You know, I thought a man's sex drive was supposed to decrease the older he gets?"

He laughs, "You wound me Miss Pope. You're lucky I'm so enamored with you."

He pulls us both up off the chair and I wrap my legs around him. I'm not sure how he manages to get us safely up the stairs because we can't stop kissing and I'm pretty sure he's not looking where he's going.

He sets me down in the bathroom so we can both quickly complete our nighttime routines and get into bed. We climb into bed and I immediately slide over to Fitz's side of the bed and I wrap my leg around his, pulling him closer to me.

We start kissing and grinding like we're high schoolers and it's wonderful. My hands are running up and down his muscular arms and through the hair on his chest. I will never not love his chest hair; it's so manly and sexy. My legs are encircling his muscular thigh and I am so wet again already. The feel of his erect member against my stomach isn't helping either. I break away and he moans. I turn so that I'm lying on my stomach and pull his arm so that he knows I want him to get behind me. He positions himself behind me and thrusts, I arch my back and it meets his chiseled abs. One arm reaches around my stomach and the other is stroking my thigh.

"Fitz, harder." I beg.

He acquiesces and I scream as I feel him hitting me even deeper. He bites into my shoulder and the hand on my stomach finds it's way up to my breast and starts to tease my nipple. His breathing in my ear is so hot. I love hearing his hot and heavy sounds right in my ear, his hot breath hitting my neck, and his lips on my earlobe. It's a glorious combination.

Fitz never has a problem sending me over the edge and when he does this time it's hard and fast and I think I may have ripped a hole in the sheet from gripping it so hard. Moments after I lose myself he follows and crashes onto the bed next to me.

We are both breathing heavily and we don't speak as we catch our breaths.

I adjust my body so I am looking at Fitz and I reach my hand up and run my finger along his bottom lip. I can't help myself when I lean in to kiss him. I run my hand down his jawline as we just lie there kissing each other. Our kisses are hot and wet and deep and I could probably just lie here and kiss him for the rest of my life. Finally we have to break apart for air and we just lie there for a few moments, staring at each other. "Fitz," I whisper, "is sex supposed to be like this for everyone?"

"Like what Livvy?" He says with a devious grin and I roll my eyes because I know he just wants me to say what I'm thinking.

I sigh, "Is it this good for everyone? I mean I was never really the kind of girl to initiate sex until I met you. Yeah, it was good and I enjoyed it but I've never really needed someone the way I need you. I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. Even the very first time we had sex was so much better than any sex I've had with anyone else."

He smiles and brushes a strand of hair away from my face and tucks it behind my ear. "No, it's not this good for everyone. But that's because you and I don't have sex Livvy, we make love."

I cringe and avert my eyes from Fitz, "I've always hated that phrase, it's so cheesy."

"It may be cheesy but that doesn't make it any less of an accurate depiction of what happens between you and I. You can think it sounds silly and cheesy but that doesn't mean it isn't true."

He moves his body so that he's hovering over me. "What I feel when I'm with you is something I've never felt with anyone else before. What you do to me, how much you affect me not only physically but also emotionally. I can't get enough of you Livvy. I think about you all the time. This last week without you was hell on earth."

He starts to kiss my chest lightly and I can't help it when I start to feel all hot and bothered all over again.

My breathing gets shallow as his mouth finds its way down my breast and his tongue circles around my nipple.

"Fitz, we have already had sex three times in the last five hours—not to mention two of those times were just in the last hour or so. I'm going to fall apart if we do it again."

His tongue circles my nipple and I groan as I involuntarily arch my back, thrusting my breast further into his mouth.

He then reaches down between us and runs his hand through my slick folds and I can't help it when I let out an audible moan.

He starts to kiss his way up my neck and jaw until he gets to his ear. He lightly bites the bottom of my ear and he whispers, "I want you all the time Livvy. I can't get enough of you, the way your body responds to me, the way you moan my name, the way your skin feels soft under my body."

With that he softly pushes my thigh back and I close my eyes as he slowly enters me. I gasp when he starts to move slowly. The exquisite feeling of him filling me will never ever get old.

He's moving slowly and I reposition my hands on his chest. He bends his head down to kiss me and after a moment he breaks apart and he whispers, "The way your body feels when I'm inside you. God Livvy I don't think there's a better feeling in the world. You and me together…it's magic."

He starts to move faster and I'm not shy about voicing my enjoyment. I reach one hand back and grasp the headboard so I can brace myself.

As Fitz starts to thrust harder I reach my other hand backward to grip the headboard and help steady myself. We are really rocking the bed when all of a sudden I hear a crack and suddenly we find ourselves at a slight angle.

Fitz pauses, his eyes wide open.

"Did we just break the bed?" I ask, trying to keep myself from laughing.

Luckily Fitz seems to think it's hilarious. "We definitely just broke the bed."

And with that we both burst into laughter.

Once we've calmed down Fitz breaks the silence, "Well, might as well finish." He says with a grin as he thrusts into me once again.

And with that we pick up right where we left off and soon enough I right back over that edge. Fitz follows soon after and collapses on top of me and I wrap my arms around his neck so I can keep him close to me.

After a few moments of lying there I find that this angle is a little awkward and apparently Fitz does too because he sits up and says to me, "How about we sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight?"

I laugh and nod my head and we both get out of the bed. I grab the sheet off Fitz's bed and wrap it around myself. He grabs my hand and we make our way out of the bedroom and start to head down the hall to where the guest rooms are when I have an idea.

"Hey, let's sleep outside on the lounge?" I say. "You know, like we talked about doing the first weekend I spent here?"

He grins, "Are you sure?"

I nod my head, "Yeah, come on. It's the perfect night to do it."

He looks toward the bedrooms and then looks out the big bay window at the end of the hallway.

"Okay," he says, turning back toward me, "Let's do it but we need to grab some blankets and pillows."

We grab a few pillows and two more blankets from the bedroom and we head downstairs. Fitz resets the alarm so only the patio door alarm is disabled and we head outside. It's a beautiful night out but it's a tad chilly so Fitz grabs the outdoor heater from it's place next to the table and he places it next to the lounge and he turns it on.

I lay the sheet out on the lounge and place the pillows and then climb onto the lounge and cover myself up with the other blanket.

Fitz slips in next to me and we curl up together. Fitz wraps his arms tightly around my body and I sink back into his chest, relishing in the feel of his taut muscles against my skin. I look out at the gorgeous night sky, I can see so many stars from here and it's absolutely gorgeous.

"God this is beautiful." Fitz says. "I think I should get a skylight in my bedroom."

I grin, "That would be wonderful. Though first I think you need a new bed."

He laughs, "Yeah that's probably a good idea. Maybe I should just get a whole new set of bedroom furniture. I could get a new dresser, new bedside tables, new whatever you want."

"It's _your_ bedroom Fitz, get whatever _you_ want."

He kisses my neck lightly, "I want you to like it too."

I sigh, "We have a lot more talking to do tomorrow Fitz. Let's go to sleep."

He kisses up my neck and his hand slides up my chest and neck and he gently turns my head so I'm facing him and places a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Goodnight sweet baby. I love you."

I sigh and close my eyes; I haven't realized how much I've missed him whispering those three words to me as I fall asleep.

"I love you Fitz." I whisper as I slowly drift off to sleep.

The next morning I wake up just as the sun rises and Fitz is already awake and lazily tracing lines up and down my back with his fingers. I turn to look at him and I grin when I find him lying on his side, propped up with the arm that is not on my back.

"Hi." He says.

I scoot closer to him, "Hi".

I run my hand through his gorgeous, curly hair and I sigh.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his hand running up and down my side in a comforting manner.

"Let's just get this talk over with."

He gives me a small smile and nods his head.

I press my hand to his cheek and I look into his eyes. "I owe you a major explanation for how I acted last week. When Abby came she made several comments to me about things she observed about us and our relationship that I hadn't really noticed before, she mentioned how comfortable we are together and how domestic we were and it just…it scared the crap out of me. That was why I asked you if we could slow it down for a little while. You were right. I was scared."

He nods his head and I continue to speak.

"I called my Grandma a couple days ago and I told her what happened. She set me straight. I was afraid that I had lost the person I always thought I was. That for some reason because I wanted you that meant I wasn't going to get to be the person I wanted to be, but talking to my Grandma made me realize that I was being silly because all you've ever done since the day I met you is be supportive of my aspirations to be a journalist. I panicked and made a rash decision and I'm so sorry about that."

Fitz just continues to look at me silently and I clear my throat and continue. "What I realized then is that it all hit me at once because we have been stuck in our own little bubble for so long. We hang out at your house all tucked away by ourselves and we exist in our own universe. We're great now but what happens if when we can finally come clean to our families and friends everything gets hard because our bubble bursts? I mean Harrison reacted so badly and he's just one person…I don't want to loose you Fitz but at the same time I'm so tired of all the secrets."

Fitz pulls away from me, "So what do you want to do?

I shrug, "I don't know that there's anything we can do. We can't tell anyone at work, we could both get into trouble and we can't tell any more of my family because my Dad will freak and I don't know. I guess I'm just frustrated because I want to talk about you and I want to be able to go out in public with you and I want to be able to kiss you whenever I please but I know that with our circumstances it just isn't possible at the moment."

Fitz brings his hand up to cup my cheek, "I know. I'm sorry this is so hard but what we can do is be honest with each other and talk about these things. Then we might be better prepared for them and we can deal with them. I just want you to talk to me Livvy, I don't want you to be afraid to talk to me."

I smile, "Okay, I'm going to try to be honest with you about what I'm feeling. I swear I'm going to try. But I need you to be patient with me and please don't threaten to leave me again. I can't even put into words how terrified I was when you walked away."

He leans in to kiss me, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It was a bad way to make my point."

I shake my head, "No, you were right to do it. I deserved it. I acted like a child and I need to start acting like an adult."

He smiles, "You're doing fine."

I shake my head; "I wish I could tell people about us. I want to talk about you all the time to anyone who will listen, but unfortunately it's weird to constantly talk about someone who is just supposed to be your boss. It's so frustrating."

He grins, "I'm sorry Livvy."

"It's not your fault Fitz."

He laughs, "Well, it kind of is."

I laugh too, "Well then it's kind of my fault too."

We grow silent for a moment until I speak up again, "Do you want to tell people about us?"

Fitz smiles, "I do, I'd like to stand on the patio at work and shout with a megaphone that I'm in love with a beautiful, kind, intelligent, brave, wonderful woman who could have had anyone she wanted but for some reason she chose me."

I can feel my face turn red and Fitz leans in to kiss me.

After a moment he pulls back, "But at the same time I don't want to tell anyone about you."

I know I look more than a little hurt by this statement, "Let me finish." He says. "I also don't want to tell anyone about you because I'm afraid that then everyone I talk to will realize how absolutely wonderful you are and they will all just be vying for your affections and then I won't stand a chance against some thirty year old guy with a foreign accent."

I start to laugh but I see how serious he looks and I stop. I place my hand on his face and stroke his cheek gently with my thumb, "I just want you."

He bends down to kiss me softly and that is when my stomach growls.

Fitz laughs, "I think it's time to get you some food." And with that he helps me up and we head into the house.

We get dressed, I put on some of Fitz's Navy sweats that I absolutely love to wear because although I do have clothes here, I just want to be totally surrounded by Fitzgerald Grant right now. We make breakfast and afterwards we check the bed and see that it is definitely broken. We decide to start looking online for some new bed options for Fitz when my phone starts to ring. I look at the caller ID and I see that it's Harrison and I immediately tense up.

"Should I answer it?" I ask Fitz.

He nods his head, "Yeah, I think you should."

I take a deep breath and pick up the phone. "Hey Harrison." I say as calmly as possible.

He doesn't even say hello he just jumps right to the point. "Olivia, you and I need to talk. Do you mind meeting me for coffee somewhere?"

I bite my lip and turn to look at Fitz, "Um, actually I don't have my car right now."

Fitz narrows his eyes and looks confused by what I'm saying.

"You're at Fitz's aren't you?" Harrison says coldly.

"Yeah, um, hold on one second." I pull the phone away from my ear and I press mute so I can talk to Fitz.

"So Harrison wanted to meet for coffee but I told him I don't have my car."

Fitz looks uncomfortable, "You can take one of mine."

I shake my head, "I think I'd prefer it if he came out here…if that's all right with you?"

"Yeah, of course, that's fine Livvy." He says, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

I smile at him and take the phone off mute. "Hey Harrison?" I ask, making sure he's still there.

"Yeah Liv?"

"Would you want to come out to Fitz's house?"

I hear him sigh and for a minute I think he's going to say no. "Yeah Liv, that's fine. I'll be out there around 11."

"Okay." I say quietly and he just hangs up the phone.

I set my phone on the table and turn back to Fitz. "Harrison is going to come over around 11."

Fitz nods his head and intertwines our fingers. "Hey, we're stronger together. It's you and me. We can handle this."

I smile and lean in to kiss him. "I love you."

We break apart and Fitz is smiling, "I love you too. Always."

As it gets closer to 11 I start to get nervous. I know this isn't going to go well and I'm dreading it. Sure enough, Harrison arrives about five after eleven and Fitz buzzes him in. He drives up to the house and rings the front doorbell. Fitz answers it and I hear Harrison ask him where I am. Fitz brings him into the living room where I am waiting and we all stand there in an extremely awkward silence.

"Um, Harrison would you like some coffee?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "No, I'm fine Liv."

"Um, all right uh…."

Thankfully Fitz interrupts my stuttering, "I'll let you two talk. I'll be in my study if you need me."

I nod my head and give him a small smile as he turns around and heads out of the room.

"Do you want to sit down?" I awkwardly ask Harrison as I motion to the sofa.

He heads over to sit on the sofa and I curl up in Fitz and my favorite armchair, the same one we defiled last night—I really should not be thinking about that right now.

We just sit there in awkward silence for a few moments but I can't take this right now so I blurt out, "Harrison say something! At least yell at me or something?"

He shakes his head and he rubs his hand over his forehead, "Liv, I just…I don't even know where to begin. Honestly I'm just shocked. This isn't the Olivia I know and love. This isn't something she would do, what happened to you Liv?" He looks genuinely disappointed in me.

"Harrison, I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry. I know this isn't appropriate and I could get into trouble but…"

Harrison interrupts, "Exactly Liv, that is what I just don't understand! It's so unlike you to do something so reckless. Liv if this gets out people will talk and you might have trouble getting jobs in the future. You're the most determined, hardworking person I know and I don't want to see you throw away your future. You have so much potential. I just don't understand how you could risk ruining your career before you even have a chance to get started? Not to mention Fitz is so much older than you and you had nice boyfriend back in Palos Verdes, what happened with him? Are you doing this to get ahead at work? Liv please, what is going on with you?"

I take a deep breath as I work up the courage to say what I need to say, "Harrison…I'm in love with him."

His eyes grow wide and his mouth drops open. He just sits there staring at me in disbelief until he finally speaks, "Olivia, you're not in love with him."

I glare at him, "Excuse me?"

He shakes his head, "You don't love him. You love the idea of him. He's worldly and sophisticated and older and charming and that's great but you deserve someone who is going to love you back and not break your heart in a few months. This is an affair, not a relationship."

I've been calm throughout this conversation but now I'm just pissed. I sit up a little straighter in my chair, "This is not an affair. Don't call it that. And don't tell me what I'm feeling; you have no idea what I'm feeling. You don't know anything about our relationship."

Harrison laughs, "I may not know the intimate details of your relationship but I do know you and I do know Fitz. I know this isn't at all like you and I know that Fitz's relationship pattern doesn't include any kind of steady relationships. I also know that when your Dad finds out about this he's going to blow a gasket."

I stiffen up, "Harrison you can't tell anyone anything about this, especially not anyone in my family."

He scowls, "I'm not going to say anything Olivia. I'm concerned about your future and I'm not about to screw it up any more than you've already screwed it up."

I shake my head, "Thank you…but stop telling me I'm screwing up my life. This is what I want, this is not a bad thing!" My voice is getting louder and I'm having a hard time controlling my emotions.

"Olivia, this is an affair. The sooner you realize that the better. Fitz is not the type of guy for you, he's not going to settle down and commit to you."

And this time I've had enough. I stand up and I can't help myself when I start to yell, "Stop calling this an affair and stop talking about Fitz that way. I thought he was your friend? How could you say those things about someone you claim to be friends with? You claim to know Fitz but you obviously don't know him at all."

Harrison shakes his head, "He is my friend but liking him as a friend and a boss is much different than thinking he's good enough to date someone I love."

I'm about to cry now, "You're wrong about him. Fitz is the best man I know. He's kind and caring and he's supportive and I am in love with him."

It's then I hear Fitz's voice. He's standing in the doorway with his arms crossed—he must have heard us yelling. "It's not an affair." He says calmly.

Harrison turns and looks toward him, Fitz continues to speak, "Olivia and I are not having an affair. I love her and I'd never do anything to intentionally hurt her."

Harrison stands up and shakes his head, "I'm sorry, I can't support this. I just can't. Not right now. Olivia is practically my sister and you're forty-three Fitz and I'm sorry I just can't support something I know is going to hurt her."

I sigh, "You don't have to support it but you also don't get a say in my dating life. That's up to me and I know in my heart that I love Fitz. I trust him not to hurt me and so you are just going to have to deal with us being together."

Harrison nods his head, "I hope you're right Liv, truly I do because I can't stand to see you get your heart broken again."

I'm mad at him but I know he loves me so I can't stop myself from walking over to him and giving him a hug.

We break apart and he says, "I need to get going Liv. I'll see you on Monday."

He walks to the front door and passes Fitz but pauses for a moment to say to him, "See you Monday, Grant." It's just a simple gesture but I know Fitz appreciates it by the small smile that appears on his face.

Harrison lets himself out of the house and when I hear the front door shut I walk over to Fitz and I let him envelop me in his arms where I just stay for a little while. I just need to feel his body against mine because right now it's what I need to reassure me he's here and he's with me and he's not going anywhere.

After a little while I pull back, "So how about we try and get you a new bed?"

Fitz laughs, "I think that's a great idea."

"I should change. I think I left a sundress here somewhere."

Fitz grins, "Yeah that blue and white strapless one is hanging in the closet. I actually just picked it up from the dry cleaners Wednesday."

We head upstairs to change and we both walk into the closet. The dress is hanging in the side of the closet that has been unofficially dubbed my side. It's hanging next to some work clothes I've also left there.

I pull the dress off the hanger and I notice it's a little wrinkled. I frown, "Jeez these cleaners aren't the greatest are they?" I say, holding up the dress so Fitz can see the wrinkles.

He frowns, "Sorry Livvy, I may have been holding onto it a little too tightly."

I purse my lips and then I smile at him, "You really missed me this week?"

He rolls his eyes at me, "Of course I missed you. Very much."

I walk over to him and I grab his hand, intertwining our fingers. "I missed you more."

He starts to laugh and pulls me in for a quick kiss. "Get dressed you nutjob."

I grin and pull away from him to head into the bathroom so I can brush my hair and wash my face since I neglected to do them when we woke up this morning. I take off Fitz's sweats and fold them up and then strip down out of my underwear and bra and put on my robe. I wash my face and decide to be relaxed and go make-up free today. I then put my hair in a sideways French braid and I head back into the closet where I see Fitz fully dressed and sitting on the lounge. He has his phone in his hands and he's furiously texting someone.

I can't help but laugh at him, "What the heck are you doing?"

He looks up at me and smiles, "Sorry, Charlotte texted me and we were chatting."

"How is she?"

"She's well. I asked her to come down and visit again with her whole family and she said only if she gets to spend some time at the Carmel house."

I laugh, "What did you tell her?"

"I think she's suffered enough so I'm going to let her see it."

"That's good and it will be nice for you to get to show it to your family. I think you'll be glad you did."

He grabs my hand and I pull him up off the lounge. "I think you're right," he says, "I am also glad when you wear that robe because sometimes it gets loose around the top and I get a _great_ view."

I pretend to be offended and playfully smack him on the chest and push him away. I turn around to grab my dress off the hanger and I decide to tease him a little more. I drop my robe to the ground revealing my naked body and I slowly step into the dress and pull it up my body, giving him a good long glimpse at my backside.

When I pull the dress all the way up I feel Fitz's hands on my shoulders. He runs his hands down my arms and he starts to kiss my neck and shoulders.

"I love your shoulders. They're so sexy. I love your collarbone too. You're so unbelievably sexy Livvy." One of his hands finds its way to the front of my body and he starts to stroke my neck and collarbone. I reach my hand back and run it through his hair as he turns my head toward him and starts to kiss down my jawline.

His hand finds its way to my jaw and he turns my head so that he can kiss my lips. Hot and wet his tongue finds its way into my mouth and I can feel my body react to him. My breath is getting heavier, I'm hot all over and I can feel the need pooling between my legs.

Finally, I break away and he groans in disappointment.

"We need to get to that store so we can find you a new bed."

He runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath. He looks back at me and grabs my hand so he can lead us out the door. "To be continued." He says with a devious twinkle in his eye.

I shake my head but I can't stop myself from laughing as I follow him out the door.

Earlier in our online search for beds we found a few Fitz really liked and luckily three of them are at the same store so that is the first place we head.

It's a massive high-end furniture store and it's filled with all kinds of gorgeous things for beautiful homes like Fitz's. We walk into the store and store and make our way toward the beds. We walk around for a few minutes until a sales person makes her way over to us. She's probably in her thirties and it's fairly obvious she finds Fitz attractive by the look she's wearing on her face.

"Hi there, looking for a bed today?" She asks him in her obnoxiously high voice, totally ignoring me.

He smiles and turns to me, "Yes, we are in desperate need of a new bed."

I laugh and the sales lady turns to me as if she's sizing me up. "Anything in particular you're looking for?" She asks.

Fitz grins at me, "Something very sturdy."

And I know I'm blushing at this comment.

The sales lady is practically gritting her teeth, "Any particular size?"

"California king, definitely. There was a bed on your website, it was a canopy bed with this gorgeous dark wood. It was nice, you know not too feminine, a little more manly…is there even such thing as a manly canopy bed?" He asks.

I can't help but laugh and thankfully the sales lady seems to have found her professional side. "Actually I think I know what you're talking about. It's on the second floor." She says as she leads us up the stairs in the store to a display in the back. She leads us to a gorgeous set up featuring the canopy bed. It's even nicer in person; the wood isn't black like it looked in the picture it's actually this gorgeous chocolate brown. It's not a typical canopy bed; it has thick posts and instead of cheesy fabric hung there like curtains it is instead draped to look like a bed you would see in a gorgeous tropical hotel.

I run my hand along the fabric, it's wonderfully soft.

"I'll let you two look around. My name is Sadie if you need any more help." She says politely and walks away.

We walk around the bed and take a bit to assess the frame and then we both sit down on the mattress.

"Picking out a bed together. This is a very normal couple thing to do, isn't it?" He asks.

I grin, "It _is_ a very normal couple thing to do. Thank you."

"So what do you think?"

"I'm kind of shocked at how great this bed is."

"Me too, do you think we should even try to look at the other two we kind of liked? I really love this one."

I laugh and stand up, "I agree, this one is amazing but we should probably look at the other two just in case."

He sits up and grabs my hand as he gets off the bed. We check out the two other beds we liked and look around at a few more before we make our way back to the first bed.

We check it out again and then we sit back down on it. I shift sideways on the bed so I am facing Fitz. "So Mr. Grant, does this feel like your new bed?"

He looks around and I can tell he's thinking. He turns back toward me and smiles, "I think this bed is the one. Do you like it?"

"I think it's wonderful. I think it will look great with the furniture you already have and with the high ceiling in your bedroom. I think it will be perfect. Well, it will be once you put in that skylight."

Fitz laughs, "Yes, yes the skylight! I do think that's a good idea. I'm going to have someone come out and see if it will work. I know you think I'm joking but I'm not."

I roll my eyes at him playfully, "Let's go find the saleswoman and get this bed delivered. The sooner we can get it delivered the sooner we can do dirty things in it."

Fitz laughs and pulls me into his side and kisses the side of my head. "Let's go then, you know how I love to do dirty things with you."

Fitz orders the bed and he, in typical Fitzgerald Grant fashion, pays extra to have the bed delivered and set up this afternoon.

We finish up at the store and we head out. I realize that I don't have anything for the weekend and we should probably stop at my apartment while we're still in town.

"Can we stop at my apartment to get me some clothes and some of my other things?" I ask as we get into the car in the parking lot.

Fitz gets in the car and turns to look at me, "So what about the new rule you wanted to instate regarding our nights together?"

I sigh, "I do need to spend more time with Abby. I do, but I think I was a little over the top. Plus, Abby's parents came back and she's now in Santa Fe with her Mom at an art exhibition for the week. So…I'm all yours if you'll have me?"

Fitz grins, "Do you even have to ask?"

We arrive at my apartment shortly after and head inside. We head to my room and Fitz makes himself comfortable on my bed while I get my things together. He's smart enough to know to stay out of my way when I'm packing because it can get ugly.

"Hey, pack a nice dress, I want to take you out for a fancy dinner."

I smile to myself because I have the perfect dress. It's this gorgeous Stella McCartney number Victoria sent me a few weeks ago. It's silver and black and slinky and extremely short and I look great in it. I smile to myself and I look over to Fitz who is grinning wickedly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask him.

He laughs, "Looking at you like what?"

I roll my eyes, "Like you're plotting something."

He continues to grin madly, "I don't know what you're talking about. I am not plotting anything. Certainly not anything romantic."

I start to laugh and I go back to packing my bag. Fitz is obviously planning something romantic and I honestly cannot wait to find out what it is.


	32. Chapter 32

"_The voice fell low, sank into her breast and stretched the tight bodice over her heart as she came up close. He felt the young lips, her body sighing in relief against the arm growing stronger to hold her. There were now no more plans than if Dick had arbitrarily made some indissoluble mixture, with atoms joined and inseparable; you could throw it all out but never again could they fit back into atomic scale. As he held her and tasted her, and she curved in further and further toward him, with her own lips, new to herself, drowned and engulfed in love, yet solaced and triumphant, he was thankful to have an existence at all, if only as a reflection in her wet eyes."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

Fitz has walked out into the kitchen to grab a glass of water while I am finishing up my packing. He walks back into my bedroom as I am zipping up my bag.

"Whoa, jeez Liv, how much stuff do you need for the next day?"

I laugh, "Well, I thought since Abby is away all week that I could just spend the entire week with you. Maybe make it up to you for acting like a dick last week." I tease.

Fitz bursts out laughing and has to sit down on my bed. "I can't believe you just called yourself a dick." He says once he catches his breath.

I step over to him and nudge his knees open so I can stand between his legs and I run my hands through his hair. "I did. Because I was."

He laughs and shakes his head at me, "You weren't a dick. But I'd love it if you stayed the week and I'll let you make it up to me anyway." He says, his eyes twinkling deviously.

I laugh and roll my eyes because I know there are wicked thoughts running through his head, "We should probably get going Fitzgerald. We need to clean up your room before they arrive with your new bed."

Fitz nods and pulls my head down to kiss me lightly. "You're right. Let's get going."

We head back to Fitz's house and head up to his bedroom. Fitz puts my bag in the closet and I start picking up the clothes we've left on the floor and I deposit them into the hamper.

Fitz follows me back into the bedroom and we decide to take the sheets off the bed.

"Do you think we should move the mattress?" I ask.

Fitz shrugs, "Nah, I'm paying for them to move the old bed out. I'm pretty sure that includes moving the mattress."

He then looks down at his watch. "It's about 4, they should be here soon. How about we just go relax until they get here?"

I grin and reach out to grab his hand and we head downstairs.

A little over an hour later the movers have came and left and Fitz's gorgeous new bed is now set up in his bedroom. We've put a fresh set of sheets on it and made up the bed nicely. It looks really great in his room and matches the rest of the furniture very well.

I suddenly realize I'm tired and I lie down on the bed and make myself cozy on the pillows.

Fitz laughs, "It's barely 5:30 sleepyhead."

I reach back for him, "I need a nap. Come nap with me."

He laughs and climbs onto the bed next to me so he's spooning me. "I'm glad I made dinner plans for tomorrow night instead of tonight if you're this tired."

I sigh, "I think I'm more emotionally tired."

"I don't blame you." Fitz replies. "Monday at work will sure be fun."

I turn around to face Fitz and I bury my head in his neck. "I'm sorry Harrison said those things about you."

He shrugs, "It's fine Livvy, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it."

I lean back so I can look into his eyes. "It's not fine Fitz. It makes me sad that he doesn't know who you really are."

He brushes a strand of hair away from my face. "You know who I am and that's the only thing that matters to me."

I sigh, "But it matters to me. I want people to know how incredible you are." I pause as I consider my words, "Wait, I take that back because you're already hot and rich so if women think you're this sappy, sweet, and tender romantic then they will _really_ want you."

Fitz bursts out laughing, "Livvy, you're insane. And none of that is true. Even if it was, I still only want you."

I smile, "I love you Fitz."

"I love you Livvy."

And with that I close my eyes and fall asleep.

I wake up a little while later and I frown when I realize that I'm alone. I turn around and see that it's about 7:30. Fitz probably got hungry.

I head downstairs. Halfway down the steps I start to smell something delicious and I can hear music playing. Fitz must be cooking. He always cooks to music.

Sure enough, I find Fitz puttering around the kitchen and I smile. "What smells so good?" I ask.

He looks over to me, "Well hello there, Sleeping Beauty. I am making tortilla soup and you are just in time because it will be ready in two minutes."

I moan, "Ahh, Fitz that sounds so delicious. You are literally my favorite person on the planet right now." I say as I hoist myself up onto the counter.

He smiles at me and goes back to his cooking. I watch him cook from my perch on the counter and I snack on a piece of celery he hands me when all of a sudden one of my favorite songs comes on and I drop my celery and reach over to turn up the music.

I lean back against the wall and I relax as the song starts to play and I start to sing rather loudly, "Baby, I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time, and maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you."

And to my great pleasure, Fitz turns around, walks over to me, and joins in, "Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time, you hung me on the line. Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you."

And I can't help but start to laugh when Fitz pulls me off the counter and starts to belt, "Baby, I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something that he doesn't really understand."

He pulls me close to him and we start dancing as he continues to sing, "Baby, I'm a man, and maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me. Baby, won't you help me understand?"

We stand there dancing though the first musical bridge and the chorus repeat until the new verse when Fitz pulls back and takes my face in his hands and looks me straight in the eyes. "Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time, maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you. Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song, right me when I'm wrong, maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you."

And I grin as the instrumental outro starts and he leans in to kiss me, not pulling back until the song fades out.

I grin as he pulls away and so is he. "You know, that is one of my top five favorite songs ever."

He brushes a rogue strand of my hair out of my face and kisses me once again, "Well maybe it can be our song. It seems fitting and I rather like it as well."

He turns around to take the soup off the stove and ladles two bowls full of it before moving them over to the island. I grab a bottle of wine and two glasses and I follow him over.

We sit down and settle into our meal, which tastes delicious of course, Fitz really is quite a good cook.

"So what's your favorite song then?" Fitz asks.

I grin, "It's "Hey Jude", it's one of my Mom's favorite songs and she always sang it to me when I was upset as a kid and it always made me feel better, it still does. Actually it's one of those glorious songs where no matter what emotion I'm feeling it always seems fitting. What about you, what's your favorite song?"

He smiles, "Actually you'll be pleased to hear that it's a Beatles song, "The Long And Winding Road". I think it's just such a perfect song, McCartney is a genius, the lyrics are so simple but so powerful."

I can't stop myself from grinning, "I agree completely. Music today just doesn't sound like that anymore. It's so layered with computerized beats and auto tuned voices that you loose the raw beauty of the instruments and the vocals and I hate that. And have you ever listened to lyrics these days? Half the time they barely make sense. I adore McCartney's voice as well; it's just so clear and beautiful. And I love how his songs can sound so simple but if you listen really carefully you find that actually none of his music is simple, it's got other tunes layered in and if you listen closely you can hear little references to other songs. He's just such a musical genius."

Fitz grins, "I like to hear you talk about music. You have a beautiful voice, did you ever consider a career pertaining to music?"

I laugh, "Thank you. I do love music and I used to think writing for Rolling Stone would be really cool but at the same time I don't like a lot of music from today and so I don't think I would totally enjoy writing about music that I'm not really into."

He nods his head, "You never wanted to be a singer or anything?"

"Well, at Pepperdine I used to sing with a good friend of mine. We always had a good time but it wasn't something I ever saw myself doing for a living. Plus when I try writing a song it always turns into prose. I just can't write that way, I'm a descriptive writer."

"So did you keep a diary or anything when you were younger?"

I shake my head, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

He smiles and leans forward, placing his hand on my thigh and running it up and down softly. "Did you write about boys?"

I laugh and shrug and pretend to be very interested in the last few bites of my tortilla soup.

He lets me tease him for a moment until I swallow my last bite and suddenly he scoops me out of the chair and carries me over to the sofa. He tosses me on the sofa and straddles me as he starts to tickle my sides and I can't help myself when I start to squeal.

"Fitz, stop!" I manage to say between my laughter.

He relents and slides over to the side of the sofa and lies down next to me so I'm cozily pinned between him and the back of the sofa.

I run my hand through his hair and I hook my leg in-between his legs.

"I did keep a diary when I was younger, but I didn't call it a diary. Even when I was a kid I knew that was lame. I called it a journal. And I wrote a little about boys but mostly I wrote about traveling, living on a military base, and adjusting to not living on a military base when we moved to Palos Verdes when I was fifteen. I didn't have crushes like normal girls, I don't know, I was never the kind of girl who got all crazy over a boy."

"I like that. The thought of you getting all crazy over a boy makes me oddly jealous."

I laugh, "You don't ever need to be jealous."

He leans forward and kisses me lightly. When he pulls away I sigh, "It's crazy that I've barely known you for ten months and we've only been dating for about four months. Not to mention the fact that we dropped the L word after only two months. This is just…so different from the way I expected my life to go. I honestly didn't believe I'd ever feel this way about anyone."

Fitz wraps an arm around me and pulls me close to him. "How did I ever manage to act professionally around you for five months? That seems nearly impossible now."

I laugh, "Are you kidding? I don't know how you didn't notice me practically drooling over you every time you talked to me. I used to ask you to look over things on the computer just so you would lean over me and I could get a whiff of your cologne from up close."

He starts to laugh too, "What about those dresses you wear? You know all the tight, form-fitting ones where you can see every curve of your body, did you wear those on purpose?"

I start to blush and bury my head in Fitz's shoulder, "Oh my god I definitely did wear them because I wanted you to notice me."

"I definitely noticed you. But I would have noticed you anyway."

I kiss his shoulder, "Seriously Fitz, how in the world has some fabulous girl not scooped you up? You are sweetest man I've ever met. Not to mention you're beautiful. I mean like, Calvin Klein model beautiful."

He bursts out laughing, "You should talk! Oh god that reminds me, Mellie e-mailed me this week badgering me about giving her your e-mail so she can talk you into doing that magazine article for her."

"Did you give it to her?"

He shakes his head, "Not yet, but I will if you want me to?"

I purse my lips; "Actually I wouldn't mind it…okay honestly I'd enjoy it. I've been such a fan of Poise since I was in high school."

He sighs, "I will give it to her then but no complaining when she starts to get extremely annoying."

I laugh, "Deal. All right, let's clean up and go to bed. I'm awake but I don't know how long that will last and if you want to christen that beautiful new bed of yours tonight we should probably get on it."

He starts to laugh, "Well, that was romantic."

"Well we've been dating for four months, the romance had to die sometime."

He laughs and starts to get up, "Oh good I was looking forward to letting myself go."

A little while later we have finished cleaning up and getting ready for bed and I've slid on some sexy lingerie under my robe as a little surprise for Fitz.

I walk out of the bathroom and Fitz has already taken the pillows off the bed and folded the covers back for us.

I smile at him and undo my robe and toss it onto the chair next to the bed.

Fitz's eyes grow wide when he sees me. "Wow, Livvy, I love this choice of pajamas."

I crawl into bed and I sink down into the cool sheets and the fluffy pillows and I hold my hand out for him to grab.

He takes my hand and climbs onto the bed. He hoovers over me and just stares into my eyes for a moment until suddenly his mouth is on mine.

He sinks into me and his hands start to caress my sides and his mouth makes its way down my neck and to my breasts. He pauses there for a moment before kissing his way down my lingerie to my panties. He hooks his fingers in the sides and slides them off my body before his head finds its way between my legs and I'm squirming uncontrollably because his tongue is seriously talented.

I come fast and hard and I'm breathing heavily as Fitz starts to kiss his way back up my body. I'm still catching my breath but I find myself wanting Fitz so badly all over again.

I reach down and slide his pajama pants off his body and I'm pleased to find he's already at attention.

He starts to kiss my breasts again and gently frees me of my lingerie before he starts to trail hot and wet kisses up my neck before our mouths meet again. Our mouths are hot against each other and it's like we're trying to breathe each other in. His hands run down my thighs and mine are running through his hair. He lines himself up with me and thrusts, making me arch backward and grab for the headboard behind me.

We fall into an easy rhythm and I can feel everything building up inside me. I wrap my legs tightly around Fitz and he picks up the pace. I come hard and Fitz does soon after. He collapses on top of me and rolls over to the side slightly so that his full weight isn't on me and we both quickly fall asleep.

As I doze off I find myself lost in a vivid dream. I'm in South Africa at my grandparents ranch. Oh, how I love being here. I'm walking around the hills on their property and I'm recalling my childhood when I would spend the entire day up here playing with my sisters and my cousins. The sun is coming up over the horizon and suddenly I hear the unmistakable sound of a child's laughter. I turn around and out of nowhere a little girl pops up and runs in my direction. She's running gleefully with a huge smile on her face and for a moment I think she's running to me, but instead she runs past me and into…well…another version of me. I turn to look at myself. I look a little older but not much. Future me looks happy as she picks the child up off the ground and cradles her gently. All of a sudden Fitz is there too and I can't help but grin even in my dream. He walks over to them and the little girl catapults herself into his arms and he cradles her lovingly, tugging on my heartstrings in the process. Fitz and other version of me are playing with the little girl and I stand there watching them, they're a happy little family. Suddenly it gets dark and all of a sudden a man appears out of nowhere and after a moment I realize it's my father. The closer he gets the gloomier and stormier it gets. All of a sudden Fitz starts to disappear, as if he's just fading away from existence until his fuzzy form can no longer be seen, and a moment later my father reaches us and grabs the little girl's hand and starts leading her away from future me. Future me is trying to move, she's trying to run, but she can't seem to move from her spot so I take off. I reach my father and the little girl and I grab for the girl's arm, "let her go!" I yell. My Dad turns around to face me and shakes his head, "You can't have both." I pause as he takes her away. "What? What do you mean? What are you talking about?" I scream, but of course there's no answer and my father turns around starts to disappear.

I wake up tossing and turning in a cold sweat and when I open my eyes I see Fitz above me. He looks concerned as he runs a hand through my hair. "Hey, are you all right?"

I shake my head and I take a deep breath as Fitz makes himself comfortable next to me, pulling me close to him.

"I had a very strange dream." I finally say.

Fitz frowns, "A nightmare?"

I shake my head, "No, not really, it was just…strange and a little upsetting."

"Uh oh, what did I do?" He teases.

I laugh, "Nothing. You didn't do anything. Let's just go back to bed." I say as I reach out to brush a loose curl out of his face.

Fitz groans, "Livvy, come on. We're talking to each other about anything and everything."

I sigh, "Yes, we definitely are. But we are talking to each other about real things. This was a dream and I haven't even had a chance to process it. Let's just go back to bed, please?"

He pulls me closer and kisses my neck, nuzzling his face into my neck as I wrap my arms around him and run my hands through his hair.

I inhale and get a glorious whiff of the smell I've come to know as distinctly Fitz. It's this musky, manly scent, a combination of his Kiehl's shampoo, his Armani cologne, and his own distinctive scent. I instantly relax and I close my eyes, sink into him, and fall back asleep.

I wake up in the morning and Fitz and I are tangled together. His head is resting on my chest and I take the opportunity to just watch him sleep. I run my hand through his hair, I'll never get over how beautiful he looks even when he sleeps. He starts to stir and I move my hand away and instead start to run it over his muscular shoulder and bicep. A few minutes later he wakes up and when he opens his eyes and sees me he smiles and my heart flutters.

He grins and moves his hand slightly so that it's over my heart. "Something flustering you Miss Pope?"

I laugh and roll my eyes, "You're so full of yourself."

He just winks at me and I can't help it when I start to laugh again.

Fitz yawns and shifts himself off of me and as much as I love the feeling of his body over mine I'm happy that I get a chance to stretch. I cringe as I stretch because I realize that I am extremely sore. Plus I definitely need a shower because I can still feel an uncomfortable stickiness in between my legs.

"Sore?" Fitz asks when he notices my wince.

I nod my head, "Yes. Very."

"How about we take a nice long bath?"

"Yes please."

He climbs out of bed and heads into the bathroom. I hear him turn on the water and then a few minutes later he comes out and extends his hand to me, "Come on beautiful, bath time."

I nod my head and get up out of bed so that I can take his hand.

He leads me to the bathroom and it smells heavenly. I close my eyes and smile as I inhale the scent of my favorite moringa bubble bath. He's also lit candles, placed them around the tub and dimmed the lights so the bathroom has an extremely romantic appeal.

I turn around and head for the vanity to grab a hair tie and when I turn around Fitz is standing in the tub and is holding his hand out to help me down the steps. I grin as I walk over and I take a good look at his gorgeous body. His muscles are chiseled like a statue of a damn Greek god and I let out an audible sigh as I feel the desire start to pool in my belly.

I walk over to him and take his hand as I step down into the bath. Fitz sits down and I follow, making myself comfortable in between his legs. I sink back into his strong chest and he wraps his arms around me. The steaming water feels heavenly and we both just sit there for a moment and let ourselves totally relax.

Fitz bites my earlobe playfully and then starts to kiss my neck. His hands start to move, slowly stroking down my arms and finding their way over my stomach and my chest.

I lean back into him and groan, "Oh my god Fitz you are killing my vagina. Seriously, how can I be so sore and yet still want you so much?"

He chuckles into my ear but doesn't respond. Instead he just starts to kiss me down my jawline. His kisses are hot and I'm getting so aroused that I can't keep still.

I feel his erection pressing against my bum as his hands make contact with my breasts and start to massage.

My breathing becomes heavy and I start to run my hands along his thighs and I lift my body up. I reach backward and I find his hard member behind me and I lower myself onto him.

I wince as I sink down onto him but sigh when I start to gently move my hips.

One of Fitz's hands makes its way down to my core and the other is gripping my stomach gently as I start to pick up the pace with my motions.

I am in control here. The heat from the water is making me light headed and I have to reach back with one hand and balance myself on Fitz's chest while hanging on to the edge of the tub with my other hand.

Fitz's hands move to my hips and he helps me keep up my pace. He leans forward and starts to kiss my neck and soon enough I feel myself give in to the pleasure and I let go.

Fitz follows soon after and he leans backward in the tub and pulls me with him.

It takes us both a little while to catch our breaths and when I do I turn around to face him.

He smiles at me, he's sweaty and still breathing heavily and yet he is still the most handsome man in the entire world.

I lean to his side slightly so I can put my head on his shoulder comfortably and I stroke his chest with my hand.

"I guess I'm not really helping you on the whole sore issue."

I laugh, "Yeah, that's okay. You're worth it."

He smiles and wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer to him.

I take a deep breath and relax like that, totally comfortable and secure in his arms. I suddenly have the uncontrollable urge to tell him about my dream. "So I thought a little about my dream…if you want to hear about it?"

He nods, "Yeah, of course I do."

"Well…it was strange. I was in South Africa at my grandparents ranch but I wasn't myself…I mean, I was…but I was me watching another version of myself and you were there and we were playing with this little girl. And then it got stormy and you faded away and my Dad appeared and he came and took the girl away and other me was frozen to her spot so I ran after them. I finally got to them and I told him to let her go and he told me that I couldn't have both. I just…I don't know, I guess it confused me. I'm not really sure what any of it means. What do you think?"

Fitz sighs and runs a hand through my hair. "I think you're afraid. I think Harrison's reaction to us confirmed some fears you had about us and you're projecting that onto other important relationships in your life and also fusing that with fears you have about being with me and pursuing your dream of being a reporter. I think your mind is working overtime Livvy. You just need to relax and focus on what you want. No one else can tell you what you can and can't have."

I give him a small smile; "You're very wise for someone so handsome."

He laughs, "I have my moments."

I just smile and study his face for a moment, bringing my hand up to trace the soft lines under his eyes. "I really love you." I whisper.

Fitz leans in and kisses me lightly, "I know you do sweet baby."

Fitz clears his throat after a moment and says softly, "Was the little girl…was she _our_ little girl?"

I bite my lip, "Yeah….yeah I think she was."

Fitz wraps his other arm around me and pulls me close. "I like that. But know that if we ever did have a little girl, I'd never let anyone take her away. I'd never let anyone take you away from me either."

I smile shyly and bury my head in his chest, "I know you wouldn't."

Fitz and I spend the rest of our day being lazy until later that afternoon when we start getting ready for dinner.

We're in the closet getting ready and I'm badgering Fitz about where we are going but he won't tell me.

"So are we going to Santa Cruz?" I ask, since we usually drive out there to have dinner since there's less a risk of running into someone we know.

He shakes his head, "Nope. All I'm telling you is that we're staying in San Jose."

"Fiiitz." I whine, "Come on, are we going somewhere fancy like George's or are you just screwing with me and we're going to show up at Pizza My Heart and I'm going to look like a fool in a nice dress?"

Fitz bursts out laughing, "You really think I would do that?"

I scowl at him, "I don't know! This is giving me anxiety!"

He continues to laugh, "Put your dress on goofball."

I place my hands on my hips and I shake my head at him before turning around and grabbing my dress off the hanger.

Fitz walks into the bathroom and I slip the dress on. I turn to look at myself in the mirror and I can't help myself when I'm pleased at what I see. Victoria sent me this dress a couple weeks ago. It was a sample she got from work and she thought it was a little too tight on her. I'm pretty happy about that because it fits me perfectly and I really do look great in it. It's a black, square-sequined, one-shoulder dress that goes down to the floor. It has a gorgeous silver belt around the middle and a dangerously high slit. I pair my favorite black patent pumps with the dress and I head into the bathroom to finish my hair and put on a pair of earrings.

I walk into the bathroom and I expect Fitz to be there but he's not, he must have gone into the bedroom for something.

I sit down and I begin to fix my hair. It doesn't take me long as I've already curled my hair. All I do is pin it up into a loose bun and then start to go through my make-up bag to find the silver earrings I brought to go with the dress.

Suddenly Fitz walks back into the bathroom and walks over to me. He steps to my side and he runs his hands down my shoulders.

"Oh Livvy, well done."

I laugh as I get up and turn to face him. I put my arms around his neck and I pull him in for a deep kiss.

When I pull away I step back so I can assess his outfit. He's got a black suit on, a light blue shirt, and a silvery-grey and blue striped tie. He looks absolutely fantastic.

His fingers are playing softly with the detailing on my dress and he looks me up and down. "You're perfect."

I can't help but blush and I look away. "I just need to put my earrings on and then I'll be ready."

"Oh no, wait that's why I came in here. I got you a present."

With that he pulls a little blue box out of his pocket and holds it out in front of me. My mouth drops open and I just gape at him.

He laughs at my reaction and he opens the box for me.

I gasp and cover my mouth when he opens the box. The earrings are gorgeous. They're simple but stunning. They are sterling silver drop earrings with five small diamonds connected by a thin silver chain. Even though they're fairly simple I know they must have cost him a fortune. I take a step back and shake my head, "No, Fitz those are too much."

He laughs, "Listen you goof, these aren't too much. They were made for someone as gorgeous as you."

I shake my head and I can feel the tears threaten at my eyes.

Fitz steps forward and lifts my head up so he can look me in the eyes. "Please wear these Livvy, please. They are not too much, in fact, they aren't nearly enough." He then peels my hand away from my face and sets the box down on the vanity as he puts his hands on my cheeks. "I am nothing and you are everything."

I immediately throw my arms around his neck and pull him close. "I think you have that backwards."

He hugs me tight and then gently pulls back to look me in the eyes. He reaches up and wipes the tears from my eyes. "No more crying and no more questioning me buying you things."

I start to laugh, "I'll try."

He grins at me and then pulls away, "Put them on and lets get going."

I nod my head, "Okay."

We drive downtown and Fitz walks me into a building that looks vaguely familiar. He leads me up an elevator and to a staircase and I finally figure out where we are. We get to the roof of the building and I turn to Fitz and smile when I make it up the stairs just ahead of him. "The rooftop we escaped too during that boring party."

He smiles, "Yes it is. And that night marked a first for me. That was the first night I ever chased after a girl. I was so drawn to you that I didn't care what was going on at that party. I had to follow you because even then, you were everything."

I can feel my cheeks get flush and I turn around to see a bistro table set up with paper lanterns hanging around it.

I turn back to him and bite my lip, looking totally confused, "Is this an anniversary of some sort for us? I'm sorry but I'm totally drawing a blank here."

Fitz laughs, "No, it's not. I just wanted to do this for you."

I start to laugh as I look around the beautifully decorated private dining rooftop experience Fitz has created for us. "You just did this, just because you wanted to?"

He shrugs, "Guilty."

I cover my mouth as I start to laugh even harder, "Oh my god Fitz, are you real? Is this real? I'm beginning to think I've actually been in a coma the last few months and this is just my brain projecting my deep-seeded desires."

He shakes his head, "No Livvy, this is real. This is just me being in love with you."

I step forward and plant a kiss on his lips.

"Thank you. You've definitely earned the right to rip my lingerie off me tonight. And believe me, it's _bonkers_."

He laughs and pulls me toward him to kiss my neck lightly. "All right gorgeous, let's eat."

Later that night after our wonderful dinner, Fitz and I are back at his house, sitting by the fire pit, and making out like teenagers.

We're kind of a mess, my dress is practically around my waist and Fitz's shirt is partly unbuttoned and his belt is half off.

I grab Fitz's hand and pull it around to the zipper on the side of my dress and he immediately gets the hint, grinning against my mouth, and pulling the zipper down.

I stand up and shimmy out of the dress and Fitz tosses his shirt back on the lounge and turns to look at me.

His mouth drops at the lingerie I'm sporting. It's a bustier top that's entirely baby blue lace so that it leaves nothing to the imagination and matching underwear and garter holding up my stockings.

"We are going to have to go inside before I get to unwrap you because I'm afraid I'll forget about the fire and burn down the house if I wait."

I start to laugh and I pick up my dress and his shirt and start walking toward the door. "Okay, you get that done and I will head upstairs and wait for you on the bed. Wouldn't want to get ash on this, would we?"

Fitz groans and waves me away and I burst out laughing as I head into the house.

I hang my dress up, put his shirt in the laundry bin, and head downstairs to quickly grab a bottle of wine and two glasses. I peak and see that he's almost finished outside so I run upstairs and pour the wine before settling in a sexy position on the bed.

A minute or so later Fitz makes it upstairs and when he sees me I can see the primal urges take over and he quickly sheds his pants before grabbing one of the glasses of wine and taking a big gulp.

I laugh, "Fitz that was an expensive bottle of wine. I don't think it's intended for gulping."

He shakes his head, "I'll buy another bottle. The only think I want to taste right now is you."

My face gets flush and I too take a big gulp before placing my glass on the bedside table and getting up.

I walk over to Fitz and wrap my arms around him. He leans in to kiss me and his hands start their path down my back as he pulls me close against him.

His hands make their way to my bum and to my thighs, one of his fingers teasing me in-between my legs.

He drops to his knees and starts to kiss his way down my chest and stomach until he reaches the garter. He continues kissing down to my core as he pulls the garter down my legs and starts to slide my stockings down.

I have to grab onto his hair as his mouth finds my core because even through the fabric of my undies his mouth knows exactly what to do.

I'm breathing heavily and I can barely stand up. My body is numb with pleasure and I honestly don't know how I haven't fallen over just yet.

One of his hands holds me steady around my waist and the other finds its way around my thigh and starts to stroke me through my underwear. I'm almost in shock minutes later when I completely fall apart, an orgasm rippling through my body.

I cannot believe I just orgasmed through my panties. I'm kind of in shock right now.

Fitz stands up and he starts to kiss me. I finally come back to earth and I kiss him back.

After a moment he turns me around and starts to kiss my neck and massage my breasts as he leads me to the bed.

We get to the edge of the bed and he starts to unhook my bustier and peels it slowly from my body and starts to kiss his way down my back until he gets to my undies. He pulls those down my body and I step out of them and turn around.

I quickly help him out of his undershirt and I reach down for his briefs but he stops me. He grabs my wrists and says, in a low and sultry voice, "Lie down on your stomach."

I smile and nod my head. I love it when he takes total control.

I try to be sexy as I climb onto the bed and I watch Fitz dispose of his briefs. He steps toward the bed and runs his hand along my back.

I shiver with anticipation at the contact and I moan when his hand skims over my bum and down my thigh.

He's sitting on the edge of the bed next to me and he's running his hand up and down the back of my thigh. He does this for a little while, teasing me every time he comes so close to where I want him most.

Finally his hand finds it's way in between my legs and I gasp when I feel his finger enter me. He pumps in and out of me slowly and it's building my anticipation. Finally he stops and climbs onto the bed. He moves over me and positions himself above me. His legs part mine slowly and he lines himself up with me and slowly enters me as he lowers himself over me so that we are as close as possible.

He starts to move his hips and he wraps an arm around my middle and pulls a pillow under me with his free hand. I get comfortable propped up on the pillow and Fitz starts to move behind me again. His mouth kisses my shoulder as he thrusts and I'm in heaven.

I brace myself on the bed as everything starts to build up inside me and when I finally let go my whole body is convulsing. Thankfully Fitz comes soon after I do and he collapses next to me.

I'm hot and sweaty and I can barely breathe but I can't pull myself away from him and instead I curl myself against him and he wraps his arms around me.

I nuzzle my head into his neck and I kiss his collarbone lightly and I fall fast asleep.

The alarm rings the next morning and Fitz and I both groan as we get up and start to get ready. We head into the bathroom and silently get ready.

I go to the bathroom and I realize that I have an uncomfortable feeling between my legs but I feel a little better after I shower so I just shake off the nasty feeling telling me I'm getting a UTI.

After I get ready I head downstairs, drink a huge glass of cranberry juice and I down a few painkillers even though I'm pretty sure they're not going to help. I don't say anything to Fitz because I don't want him to worry.

I try to ignore it all morning but it doesn't seem to be working. Luckily I haven't had to leave my office much so at least I'm suffering in the solitude of my little personal space. Fitz has been busy all morning with phone calls and I'm pretty sure Harrison is ignoring the both of us because I haven't even seen him on this side of the office. I manage to act normal through a quick lunch with Lauren and when I get back to my office I immediately run over to the chair and grab my cell phone. Please lord let my gynecologist be able to see me today.

Around 4:30 I pop my head into Fitz's office. He's on the phone and he looks confused when I walk into his office with my bag packed for the night.

"Hold on, I'll have to call you back." He says to whoever he's on the phone with currently.

"What's going on Livvy?" He asks once he hangs up, looking concerned.

I manage a small smile, "It's not a big deal. I just need to go to the doctor because I have a little issue I need to deal with."

He frowns, "Are you all right?"

I shake my head and I can't help myself when I blush a little, "Yeah, um I think I may have a…a girl problem."

He purses his lips, "Do you want me to take you?"

I shake my head and wave my hands, "Oh good god no, Fitz. This is embarrassing enough."

He stands up and walks around the desk to me, enveloping me in his arms. "If you need me please call. I'll leave immediately.

I smile into his shoulder, "Really Fitz, it's nothing serious, just a minor issue. I won't be long."

He nods his head and kisses me lightly. "I'll probably leave around 5:00 so I'll just see you at home then?"

I smile, "Yeah, of course."

Dr. Byrne, or Heather as she prefers to be called, is wonderful. She graciously offered to see me at 4:45 even though she normally closes her practice at 5. It helps that she's an old friend of Abby's older sister and therefore is easy to talk to and I don't find myself at all embarrassed when I see her.

I walk into her office and the nurse at the front desk smiles and waves me in so I can do the usual and pee in a cup. When I'm finished I walk out of the bathroom and I immediately see Heather walking toward me and I can't help but smile in relief.

"Thank you so much for seeing me." I exclaim.

She grins, "Any time Liv, so you think you have a UTI?"

I sigh, "I was pretty sure I was getting a UTI this morning because I was feeling kind of uncomfortable but now I'm almost positive I have one because my lady bits feel like they're about to fall off."

Heather laughs and leads me to an exam room. "Let's get you checked out."

We catch up and I get settled. She starts the exam and we continue to talk. "So how's the implant working for you?"

"Wonderfully. I love not having to take a pill every day."

"Any side effects?"

I shake my head, "Nope, it seems to be working very well for me."

"That's great. Are you still seeing the same boyfriend?"

I smile, "Yeah, hence the UTI problem. We've kind of been doing it any chance we get lately."

She grins at me and her eyebrows rise, "Well that sounds like it's going well."

I sigh, "It's going very well. I like him so much."

She shakes her head and laughs, "I can tell."

I like Heather and it's nice to be able to talk to someone else about my sex life other than Abby. "Last Friday we actually broke the bed." I divulge.

The look on Heather's face is pure enjoyment, "Oh my god Liv, that is kind of fantastic!"

I don't know if this is how Heather is with all her patients but I love that she's like it with me because it's wonderful having a gynecologist I can talk to so openly without feeling like I'm being judged.

I laugh and shake my head, "Yeah and that was our third round of sex in two hours. Not to mention the fourth round which was actually the first round that occurred several hours earlier."

"No wonder you have a UTI!" She says with a laugh.

I groan and sink back into the table and she rolls herself over to my side. "Don't worry about it Liv, it happens to the best of us."

She then grabs her tablet and looks at my chart. "Well, you're not pregnant and you look totally healthy besides this little issue so I'm going to give you a prescription and just make sure to stay hydrated, drinking cranberry juice and any vitamin c tends to help. Also, you're going to need to abstain for a couple days, just until it stops hurting so much. Also, to prevent this in the future it's always a good idea to use the bathroom after sex, or in your case in between romps." She says with a wink.

I laugh, "Thanks Heather, I'm sure my vagina will thank me for the couple days of rest it's going to get."

She grins and pats me on the shoulder; "I'll call in this prescription so it will be ready for you right away. Don't worry girl, you'll be back to yourself in no time at all."

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate this."

"Any friend of the Whelan's is a friend of mine. Seriously Liv, if you ever need anything do not be afraid to call me."

I thank her and then I head out to Fitz's.

Thirty minutes later I burst into Fitz's house and walk in to find him sitting in the living room reading a book. "Fitz I'm going to kill you."

He turns to look at me with complete confusion radiating from his eyes.

"You are so insatiable that I now have a UTI. Seriously Fitz my downstairs is on fire. I want to kill you right now. You and your stupid penis need to stay away from me for the next few days." I say as I toss my antibiotics onto the coffee table, plop down in the armchair next to him and angrily cross my arms.

Fitz bursts out laughing and I glare at him. "Fitz, it's not funny. This is painful." I say, sinking into the chair and covering my face with my hands.

After a moment I feel him kneel onto the chair above me and I look up to see Fitz on top of me.

I groan, "Fitz, get off me, we are absolutely not having sex."

He frowns, "Is it really that bad?"

I sigh, "It's awful. Seriously Fitz I am so incredibly uncomfortable."

He kisses my cheek lightly, "I'm sorry sweet baby."

I sigh, "Can we just make out like we're in middle school?"

Fitz laughs, "We can do whatever you want gorgeous girl. Is there anything I can get for you?"

"A new vagina?"

He laughs, "Sorry that one may not be doable." He says, wiggling his eyebrows at his double entendre.

"That was not nice Fitzgerald." I say as I shove him off of me. I didn't realize he was barely on the chair and he goes tumbling to the ground.

I sit up straight so I can see him on the floor, rubbing his shoulder. I cover my mouth with my hand, "Oh my god Fitz I'm sorry! Are you all right?"

He shakes his head and chuckles a bit, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good." I say as I burst into laughter.

He shakes his head as he gets up but I see that he's laughing too.

"All right baby, how about I make you some dinner?"

I smile at him and grab onto his hand, "That would be wonderful. Thank you."

Fitz makes me dinner and afterward we lounge around in his living room, watching television and chatting, but by 9:30 PM I'm already exhausted and we decide to head upstairs and get ready for bed.

I shower and by the time I'm done Fitz is already in bed. He looks handsome with his reading glasses on. He's got a pen and paper in his hand and he's writing something.

I climb into bed and I cozy up next to him, putting my head on his shoulder.

I look up at his notepad and I smile when I read, 'From the desk of Fitzgerald Grant III'.

He sets the pad and pen down on his nightstand table and turns back to me and pulls me close.

"I love your name. Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the Third. It sounds royal."

He kisses my forehead, "I love _your_ name, Olivia Katherine Pope."

"I like Livvy better."

He grins, "I like that I'm the only one allowed to call you Livvy."

"Well you're just lucky that way."

He laughs and kisses me lightly.

"So do you know how your relatives came up with the name Fitzgerald? I've never met anyone with that first name before."

Fitz smiles, "It was the last name of a family friend, at least that's what I'm told. Though my Mom only agreed to continue the tradition with me because she loved Fitzgerald the writer."

I smile, "She was clearly a smart woman."

"Yeah, she was. What about you, how did your parents come up with Olivia?"

I laugh, "It's not a very interesting story. Basically my Mom wanted to name me Katherine and my Dad wanted to name me Olivia and they couldn't agree so they flipped a coin and my Dad won, which is why I'm Olivia Katherine instead of Katherine Olivia."

"Katherine is a pretty name, but Olivia suits you much better. Your Dad just liked the name?"

I start to laugh, "This is actually a little embarrassing. Someone bought this book for Victoria about a pig named Olivia…and he read it and loved the name. So I am technically named after a pig in a children's book."

Fitz starts to laugh though I can tell he's trying not to.

I smile, "You can laugh Fitz, it's a little ridiculous."

He kisses my temple, "I actually love that. It's kind of adorable."

I smile, "So if I were to do that my children would be named…hmm…let's see…Buttercup, obviously," I say as I start to laugh, "Or maybe Matilda or Ramona, and Milo or Max. What about you?"

"Well, my favorite book as a kid was The Little Prince but I don't think he had a name. Hmm…I did quite enjoy Matilda as a boy. My favorite was The BFG though…and the other books I liked were Tomie Depaolo but he didn't use a lot of names either. What about if you were going to use your favorite books from today?"

I grin, "Hazel, obviously, umm…Amory, Scout, and Jack."

"Jack?" Fitz asks, slightly confused.

"Yeah, Jack Dulouz. Big Sur?"

"Ahh right I forgot you love Big Sur more than On The Road."

"What about you?"

He sighs, "Oh, I don't know, Olivia probably."

I lean back and look at him with confusion, "What book do you like with the name Olivia?"

He grins and leans in to kiss me again, "_You_ are my favorite book."

I start to laugh as he kisses my neck, "You're ridiculous."

His hands move down to my pajama pants and I reach down and pull him away, "Fitz, we can't."

He sighs, "I'm sorry. I forgot."

I frown, "This is going to be interesting."

Fitz smiles and pushes my hair away from my face, "We'll be fine. How about we put on a movie and I just hold you?"

I nod my head, "That sounds good."

I turn around and make myself comfortable against Fitz's body and he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him. His head is resting on my shoulder and I grab the remote and find a movie quick and toss the remote aside before snuggling myself as close to Fitz as I can possibly get.

"Hey, this is like a preview of our future."

I cross my eyes, "What do you mean?"

"You know, when we're old and married and too tired to have sex because you're this sought-after reporter and we've got four kids and a couple dogs running around the house."

I smile and bury my head into the pillow, "We're not having four kids. Two."

"Three." Fitz counters.

"We'll see." I say quietly. "But first you're going to have to wow me with a damn good proposal."

I can feel his smile against my shoulder, "That is a deal I have no problems making."

And I can feel myself start to blush. It feels crazy to be talking about marriage and kids but it also feels totally right. I'm twenty-six and a half, I guess it's not that crazy to imagine. My parents were married when they were just twenty-two and most of my older cousins were married before they turned twenty-six. For the first time in my life I feel like I'm actually looking forward to that step and I know it's not because of my age, it's because I've finally found a guy I can see myself loving for the rest of my life.

"Good night Fitz. I love you."

"I love you too, Livvy. Always. Good night lovely girl, I hope you feel better tomorrow. And I do apologize for being part of the reason you feel so terrible. I wish I could do something to make you feel better."

"It's okay Fitz, it's not really your fault. And anyway, you're worth it."

I spend the next day being miserable. I'm fairly grumpy at work so I'm extremely glad Harrison seems to still be ignoring me because I'm not sure I could deal with him right now.

Fitz is being incredibly sweet and when we get home he makes an effort to make dinner out of foods that are supposed to help make me feel better.

I decide to retire early and Fitz heads to his office to finish up some work.

I'm snuggled on Fitz's bed watching Parenthood and wearing an oversized Navy sweatshirt of his along with a pair of his Navy sweatpants.

After a little while Fitz comes upstairs and he climbs into bed next to me. He runs a hand through my hair and he gives me a look of pure pity. "Not feeling any better?"

I shake my head, "Not really."

"Maybe I can help." He says as he leans in to kiss me. "I can distract you."

I smile against his lips, "Well aren't you just the best boyfriend ever?"

We lie there kissing for a little while and Fitz's hand starts to slide down my chest and finds its way into my pants.

I grab for him, "Fitz, seriously we are not having sex. I wasn't just joking about that because I was pissed. I was instructed by my doctor to not have sex until it stops burning when I pee." I grumble.

"No, we are not having sex. But I did a little research on how to combat a UTI and one of the unorthodox solutions was masturbating. So I figured I could just help you out a little bit."

I grab onto his hand but I don't pull it out of my pants just yet. I look at him with a look I know says I don't believe him and he laughs.

"Seriously Liv, when I was looking up foods that would make you feel better I came across unorthodox ways to help with UTI's and this was one of them. I swear Liv; I'm not just trying to get into your pants. It said that it helps because during masturbation your cervix opens up and new fluid goes up which sends good bacteria in and the old comes out which is what helps flush out the bad bacteria."

I'm still staring at him like he's crazy and he starts to laugh. "I can show you the website if you'd like?"

I just stare at him for a moment and take a deep breath, "You don't have to show me the website. I trust you."

He smiles, "Then let me do this for you."

I sigh, nod my head and then lean back to make myself comfortable. I hesitantly release his hand. I don't often feel uncomfortable with Fitz but the idea of this just feels a little strange. I grab the pillow next to me and try to pull it over my face as his hand finds its way into my panties but he stops me and tosses the pillow to the side.

"Fitz, what are you doing?" I exclaim.

"I want to watch you." He says as he brushes the hair back from my face.

I bite my lip, "Fitz that's so awkward."

He leans forward and kisses my lips lightly, "Livvy it's not awkward. It's intimate and it's beautiful."

I groan and he laughs. "Livvy let me help you."

I sigh, "Okay."

He grins and kisses me again on the lips before he starts to make his way down my body. He kisses my neck, my collarbone, my breasts, my stomach, and my thighs and by the time he starts to pull my pants and underwear off, I am completely aroused. He scoots back up my body so that his face is next to mine and his hand inches back down my body and gently spreads my legs a little wider and his fingers find my core and he starts to move them around. I can't help but arch forward at the contact. His fingers stay on my center and it feels kind of wonderful. His fingers know my body so well and he flicks and twirls and caresses me until I start to feel my whole body start to shake. He whispers in my ear. "Come on Livvy, you're so close, let go." And his lips find my earlobe and start to suck and with that I completely loose myself.

When I come down from my high I open my eyes to find Fitz staring at me and I can't help but smile at him. He leans down and kisses me. "So Livvy, do you ever do that by yourself?"

I grin, "Maybe. Why do you ask?

He has a smug smile on his face. "So what do you use to…get yourself in the mood?"

I reach my hand up and run it through his gorgeous hair. "Well, I guess I just think about you."

He places another light kiss on my lips. "Mmmh, that's so sexy Livvy. You're so sexy."

"Or I think about George Clooney. God he's sexy." I tease.

Fitz groans, "And now you've ruined it."

I laugh and run my fingers down his bicep lightly. "Do you ever…self-satisfy?" I say with a giggle.

Fitz laughs and shrugs. "Occasionally. When I'm deprived of you for a period of time."

I grin wildly at him, "So you think about me?"

He rolls his eyes, "Well whom else would I think about?"

I laugh and turn over onto my front and prop myself up next to him. "I don't know, a celebrity? Someone from your favorite show, what about that blonde agent on Criminal Minds? God she's gorgeous. Or maybe Jennifer Aniston?"

Fitz is laughing so hard he falls onto his back. "No, I do not think about anyone but you. You're more beautiful than any celebrity."

I reach my hand out and run my fingers along his chiseled chest. "You're very sweet. Even though you're lying."

He shifts so he's propped up on his side, "I'd never lie to you Livvy. I love you and when I jerk off I think of you and only you."

I burst out laughing, "That was so eloquently put Fitz, thank you."

He just grins and kisses me lightly. He then pulls me up and out of the bed. "Let's get ready for bed."


	33. Chapter 33

_"Later she remembered all the hours of the afternoon as happy—one of those uneventful times that seem at the moment only a link between past and future pleasure, but turn out to have been the pleasure itself."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

By Wednesday night I'm feeling almost 100% better but I'm a little nervous about having sex because I definitely don't want another UTI. Therefore Fitz and I have decided to pass the time by making confetti cookies and right now we are frosting them with this bright purple frosting. Fitz is teasing me and so I stick my tongue out at him and he bursts out laughing. "Your tongue is completely purple."

A thought pops into my head, one I normally wouldn't say except I'm feeling a little kinky tonight so I decide to be brave.

I bring my hands down to his belt and I undo it slowly. "I wonder what else I could make purple." I say, licking my lips seductively.

I unbuckle Fitz's belt and I start to undo his pants.

Fitz chuckles, "What are you doing Livvy?"

I smile seductively, "Oh, just returning a favor." I reach through his underwear to grab his member he groans and reaches back against the counter to brace himself.

I slowly take his soft member in my mouth and smile to myself as he starts to get hard.

I run my tongue up and down his shaft and tease him before I take him in my mouth once again and start to move. After a bit I add my hand into the mix and I glance up at Fitz. The look on his face is pure pleasure and it tells me he's getting close. I run my teeth lightly up his shaft before taking him in my mouth again. I start to massage the base of his shaft with my hand and he groans in pleasure as he lets go and empties himself into my mouth. I swallow and then stand up. I look down, "Well, looks like my purple idea didn't work out as well as I hoped." Fitz laughs as he looks down at his member, there's no trace of purple on it at all.

He starts to pull his pants back up and refasten them so I grab a glass of water and down it quickly before turning back around to him. He's finished with his pants and he wraps one arm around my waist while the other reaches up to caress my jaw and neck as he kisses me.

I wrap my arms around his waist and I just sink into the kiss. Fitz truly has the most talented mouth I've ever experienced.

"That. Was. Spectacular." He says in-between kisses.

I giggle, "Only the best for you Mr. Grant."

He grins, "Well you are definitely the best Miss Pope."

He leans his forehead against mine and I sigh, "We should probably finish these cookies."

He nods his head, "We probably shouldn't bring these to work."

I laugh, "You think? I feel like Harrison would want one."

Fitz bursts out laughing, "You're bad."

I shrug and Fitz continues laughing and shakes his head at me.

The next day at work goes slowly because we have to work with Harrison to iron out the details for a new product campaign. He's polite but not friendly and he doesn't talk about anything besides work. Not to mention the entire time he's careful to put himself between Fitz and me.

We arrive at Fitz's house that night and I'm surprised when I get a phone call from my Dad. He usually only calls me on Sunday afternoons.

I walk into Fitz's study so I can talk to him privately while Fitz works on dinner.

"Hey Daddy, how are you?" I ask.

"Hey Ace, I'm well. How are you?"

"Um, I'm great Dad. What's up? You always call on Sundays."

My Dad laughs, "Can't I just miss my daughter?"

I laugh, "Come on Dad spill it."

He sighs, "Well sweetie, I'm concerned about Caroline."

I narrow my eyes, "What's wrong with Caroline?" She seemed totally fine when I talked to her a few days ago.

"Well she's been applying to all these jobs and she hasn't gotten an interview."

I laugh, "Dad, she's barely been out of school for a month. She's going to need a little more time. Don't worry about it."

My Dad sighs, "I'm just concerned. You've got a couple friends who work at accounting firms, do you think you could talk to someone and maybe find out what they're looking for in an employee?"

I stifle a laugh, "Yeah Dad, I can try to do that."

Dad and I talk for a little while longer. He tells me where all Caroline has applied and then we talk about how the Padres are doing.

When we're done I head back out into the kitchen and I see that Fitz is finished with dinner.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to make you do all the work."

Fitz grins, "I don't mind. How's your Dad?"

I sigh, he's freaking out about Caroline getting a job. But that's no surprise; he did the same thing when Victoria and I graduated school. I think he gets nervous because he went to OCS immediately after he graduated and never had to worry about job searching and all that fun stuff."

"Where did she apply?" He asks.

"She was sticking to just LA for her first round of applications. She's applied to KCM, Meyers-Jones, um…McCoy…I'm not sure where else."

"Hmm," Fitz says, "I know Joe McCoy very well. I could give him a call?"

I shake my head, "No Fitz I wouldn't feel right about that. You don't even know Caroline."

He kisses my forehead, "But I know you and Caroline is your sister and you two are very close so I have to assume she is also a wonderful human being."

I grin, "Thanks Fitz. Maybe. I'll think about it. If she doesn't get anywhere in a couple weeks that might be a good idea."

"Just say the word and I'll make the call."

I move to kiss him softly on the lips, "I love you. And…I'd really like for you to meet Caroline sometime soon. Victoria too."

Fitz grins and leans in to kiss me again, "I know, I know. You want to show me off."

I laugh and roll my eyes at his tease but I also can't argue because he's totally right. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. He reciprocates by wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to himself. "I do want to show you off."

He kisses the top of my head, "I want to show _you_ off. My brilliant, gorgeous, perfect girlfriend."

I blush and nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck. "I love you so much Livvy."

When I wake up Friday morning I am feeling completely better and I'm definitely over this no-sex thing. Heather said wait a few days and it's been five, I think that's good enough. Fitz and I get ready for work; we have unknowingly started our own little morning routine and it seems to work out well for us. Fitz always leaves a little before me so he gets to the office first. The only thing wrong with our routine is that I wish we could drive to work together all the time. I love the weekends we leave my car at the office just because I enjoy driving to work with Fitz. Pulling into the parking garage is always a little fun too. We usually get there early so no one will see us but we have a good amount of fun acting like we could get caught. I duck or slouch down in the seat and it's usually just us laughing hysterically at how ridiculous what we're doing looks.

Friday morning goes by rather quickly and right after lunch I run into Harrison. It's just us alone in the printing room and I decide I should try to talk to him.

"Hey Harrison." I say shyly.

He turns toward me but doesn't smile, "Olivia." He says, barely acknowledging me.

I walk over to him and stand right next to him, "Harrison, you can't ignore me forever." I tease, trying to make light of the situation.

But clearly that doesn't work because he looks toward me and he's not happy. "Olivia we're not talking about this here."

I sigh, "Harrison, come on. I need you to try and come around to this. You're important to me and Fitz is a good person. He's a _really_ good person and I know deep down you know that."

He shakes his head, "I am trying Liv. I swear I'm trying but it's going to take me some time. I'm still…I'm still mad at you Liv. I got you this job; my reputation here is on the line too. I guess I'm just a little hurt that you didn't even consider how this makes me look if you get caught."

I bite my lip, "Harrison I…I'm sorry, I didn't even think…"

"Yeah, you didn't think." He says, cutting me off and then storming out of the room.

I lean back against the counter and cover my mouth with my hand. I feel pretty guilty. Harrison is right. If Fitz and I were to get caught it would spread around the company like wildfire and everyone knows Harrison got me this job. He could definitely get some backlash if that were to ever happen. I can't believe I never thought about that.

I just stand there for a minute and compose myself before I head back to my office.

I walk into my office and shut the door. I look to Fitz's door and I shake my head and start pacing back and forth.

After a few moments I open the door to Fitz's office and I instantly smile when I see him sitting there with his glasses on, intently reading some papers in his hand.

He looks up at me and a huge smile appears on his face. "Hi."

I sigh, "Hi."

He frowns, "What's up Livvy?"

I point to one of the comfy chairs opposite his desk. "Can we have one minute?"

He grins; he knows just what I mean. I want one minute where he's not the boss I'm not the assistant, we're just Fitz and Olivia. He gets up, "One minute." He walks over to the chair and sits down. He then grabs my hand and pulls me over to him.

I sit on his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. His hands find their way around my torso and he gently strokes my back.

"I talked to Harrison." I say quietly.

I feel Fitz nod his head, "Okay."

I sigh, "He's angry with me because I didn't consider the effect my actions would have on him when I made the choice to start this thing with you, you know if someone found out about us. He's the one who got me the job, it could make him look bad and he's right, I didn't even consider that. I feel terrible. He's always been so good to me and I couldn't even think about how my actions would affect him."

Fitz pulls me close to him, "Oh Livvy, don't worry about any of that."

I sigh as I reach up to trace patterns over his heart. "But Fitz, he's right. I should have considered the effects my actions could have had on people other than myself. All I could think about was how much I wanted you and that just made me blind to everything else."

Fitz kisses my head, "No Olivia, relationships are between two people. Our relationship is between you and me. Yeah, Harrison did get you this job but even if it were to get out that we're together I can easily deflect any and all blame off Harrison. He's going to be fine no matter what happens. You can't live your life making decisions based only on how other people will feel about them."

"I know you're right…I'm just. I don't know. He's really angry with me."

We stay silent for a moment and then Fitz sighs, "You know Livvy, maybe what he's really upset about is the way he found out about us?"

I purse my lips and think about that for a minute, "I guess you could be right. I mean, that was a pretty bad way to find out about us. He walked in on us having sex. That is terribly embarrassing for all involved."

Fitz chuckles, "Maybe that's really what's bothering him. He thinks you didn't trust him enough to tell him. I mean, you guys have been close for a long time right?"

I frown, "Yeah, Harrison is practically family; we spend holidays together and go on vacations. My Mom, Victoria, Caroline, and I even dropped him off at college with his Mom. Maybe you're right. He didn't deserve to find out about us the way he did and I would have told him…I just didn't want him to be mad at me. I didn't want him to react the way he did."

Fitz sighs, "I know you didn't. I think maybe we just need to apologize to him."

"I don't know if he wants to talk right now."

Fitz sighs, "Maybe I should be the one to explain it to him? He probably doesn't want to hear someone he considers his little sister talk about her relationship with her boss so maybe it would be better if I talked to him? Plus, I am his boss so technically I can make him talk to me."

This makes me laugh and Fitz continues, "I can tell him that we didn't intend for him to find out the way he did. I'll apologize and also I can explain to him how deeply I care for you." His hand has slowly slid up my back and moved across my shoulder to my neck. He's slowly turning my head to face him and then he leans in to kiss me. It starts out as an innocent kiss but I can't help myself when I open my mouth and let our tongues join in on the fun.

His hand slowly moves down my body and starts to caress my breast and then suddenly he pulls away. "I think that was more than a minute."

I laugh and start to get up, "You're definitely right. But thank you." I lean back down to kiss him one more time before I head back into my office.

The rest of the day is slow and I find myself continuously looking at the clock to watch as the hours tick by.

At the end of the day I drive back to my apartment because I haven't gotten the mail in a week and I need to clean up a little bit before Abby gets back tomorrow.

Fitz arrives at my apartment about thirty minutes after I do and he uses the spare key I gave him to let himself in and then immediately throws himself on the sofa.

I'm dusting in the den and I laugh out loud as he dramatically rubs his head.

"Aww, long day at work?"

"I have to go to dinner with Harrison and some clients tomorrow. It's going to be torture."

I laugh, "Sorry baby."

He groans and turns around to face me, "Will you come with?"

I turn around and bite my lip, "Sorry Fitz, Abby is coming home and we're having a girls night with Lauren and Quinn."

He pouts dramatically, "You're really going to leave me all by myself."

I laugh, roll my eyes, and walk into the kitchen to put my cleaning supplies away.

He's still pouting and looking in my direction when I walk back into the den and I just laugh at him. "Turn around you baby."

He pouts but acquiesces and turns back around so he's lying on his back again.

I climb on the sofa and straddle him. I lean forward to kiss him and he pulls me close and deepens the kiss.

After a moment I break away and I sit up. "You're going to be fine with Harrison. But that's not until tomorrow so how about you and I go back to your house, eat some dinner, and have some sex because it's been five days and I'm going crazy."

Fitz laughs, "It's a little hurtful that you're so obviously using me for my body."

I laugh and playfully slap his chest as I start to get up, "The truth hurts Fitzgerald."

We head back to his house and we make ourselves dinner. We're cleaning up and I decide to be impulsive. I jump up onto the counter and I grab Fitz's hand and pull him toward me. I wrap my legs around his waist and I catch his mouth in a searing kiss. We start to make out like teenagers, our mouths devouring each other like we haven't been together in ages.

His hands find their way up my skirt and he starts to pull my underwear down.

My hands find their way down his chest and start to undo his belt and his pants.

He steps back so he can pull my underwear off and he slides his pants down. He reaches up to me and pulls me toward him and he thrusts into me and I gasp as I brace myself on the counter.

One of his hands is on my hip and the other is holding my leg around my thigh as he continues this hasty pace. I move my hands to his chest and down to his hips. I can feel his every move and he leans forward and captures my lips with his own. It doesn't take long before I start to feel everything building up inside me and soon enough it's all too much and I cry out as I let my body have the release it's been craving.

Fitz comes quickly after I do and I sink into him as I catch my breath.

Fitz strokes my back tenderly and after I compose myself I lean back and look up at him. "I really love using you for your body." And with that Fitz bursts out laughing.

"Any time Livvy." He then startles me by scooping me and planting a kiss on my lips. "Now let's go act like an old married couple and watch half of a movie before we fall asleep?"

I smile, "Sounds perfect old man." I tease.

The next morning we're being lazy and playing cards on Fitz's bed.

"Oh hey, I'm going to head out around 4 because Abby gets home around 6 and I need to grab some food for tonight."

Fitz groans, "I can't believe you're leaving me alone for an entire night."

I laugh, "You have a client dinner tonight anyway. You won't even notice I'm gone. Plus you can just come over to my apartment afterward. Maybe we can work on breaking my bed." I say with a wink.

He pulls me to him, "That can be arranged. But we're having dinner in Saratoga; it would be so much easier if you were just at my house. I could be home in five minutes and I could be buried inside you in ten." He says seductively as he bites my ear, making me giggle. "How about you just have Abby over here? You guys can swim or go in the Jacuzzi and do whatever you want."

"I can't I told you Lauren and Quinn are coming over."

He kisses down my jaw, "Just have them all over here."

"No, Fitz that would be weird. Plus we're going to be drinking and you don't really want three of my friends crashing at your house."

"I don't care. Your friends can crash here anytime they want if it means I get to have you in my bed."

I laugh as his lips tickle my neck and I can't help but cave, "Okay I will ask them but that doesn't mean it's going to happen."

Fitz grins and pulls away from me so he can reach over to the bedside table and grab my phone. He hands it to me, "Okay, ask them."

I roll my eyes and laugh, "You're such a baby."

I text all the girls and of course they want to come over to Fitz's house. In fact, they're all incredibly excited about a night of swimming, hanging in the jacuzzi, and drinking. Actually, I don't know why I ever thought they wouldn't want to come over here. Fitz has the perfect house to host girls night at.

Later that afternoon Fitz and I are getting ready in the bathroom before he takes me back to my apartment. I'm asking him a few questions about his dinner tonight.

"Are you going to be drinking?"

"Obviously, how else am I going to get through a night with Harrison?"

I let out a small laugh but this still makes me kind of sad, "You're not driving. I can take you to the restaurant and you can call a car to bring you home."

He steps away from his sink and walks over to mine. He pulls me around to face him and kisses me lightly as he runs his hands through my hair and down my back. "Aww, you're worried about me."

I roll my eyes at his teasing, "Of course I worry about you. I love you. If something happened to you it would…it would destroy me. I can't even think about that possibility because it's so upsetting that it makes me unable to catch my breath."

He gets serious suddenly, "I'm sorry, Livvy. If it makes you feel any better…I feel the same way about you."

I wrap my arms around him and smile into his shoulder, "Good."

He laughs, "All right sweet baby, let's get going."

Later that night I'm back at Fitz's after dropping him off at the restaurant and just as I get back to the house the intercom buzzes and I check the camera to see Abby, Quinn, and Lauren sitting in Abby's car. I let them in and then walk outside to meet them as Abby drives up.

She gets out of the car and I run up to her and hug her. "Hey, I've missed you. How was your week away?"

She smiles and pulls off her sunglasses, her eye looks 100% better. "I'm doing really well Liv. That week away was really good for me. I missed you though. We need to go on vacation together."

I grin and hug her again and then I move on to hug Lauren and Quinn. "I'm so happy you guys are here! Let me show you the house."

We walk inside and I walk them through the foyer, kitchen and into the den.

"Okay, it's not as weird being in Fitz's house as I thought it would be, then again I have been here once before." Lauren says.

I turn around and shoot Lauren a confused look, "When were you here?"

"A little over a year ago I want to say? Fitz had a company party here. And when I say party, I mean absolute _rager_. It was such a great time. I mean by the end of the night people were passed out in bushes and the pool looked like one giant jello shot."

My eyes grow wide, "Um, why have I never heard about that? It sounds awesome. I kind of want to repeat that."

Lauren's eyes are wide and she nods her head, "I would love that but I seriously doubt you and Fitz are going to be able to get drunk together and not act like a couple so you should probably wait until you have a job."

I stick my tongue out at her as I pretend be angry, but she just laughs. "So can we get a tour? I saw the first floor of the house but I'm dying to see the rest!"

"Of course! Should we start upstairs?" I ask.

The girls follow me upstairs and I show them the guest bedrooms they will be using tonight and then I take them into Fitz's room.

"Oooh the bosses bedroom!" Lauren exclaims as she jumps onto the bed and flings herself back.

I laugh and after a moment she sits up, "This would be so weird if I wasn't a lesbian, wouldn't it?"

Abby, Quinn, and I simultaneously say "yes" and we all start to laugh.

"Liv, show them the best part!" Abby exclaims, standing in the doorway to the closet.

"Oh yeah, this is definitely the best part." I say as I flip on the light switch in the closet.

Lauren and Quinn's eyes grow wide. "Oh my god," Quinn says, "this closet is literally bigger than my bedroom."

Abby laughs, "I know right?"

We decide we're going to swim and so we all get our suits on, grab some drinks, and head out to the pool.

We all have a great night, we eat, drink, swim, and just hang out by the pool and it's really wonderful.

Around 11 we decide we are done with swimming and we want to watch a movie. We all head inside to shower off quickly and then make our way down to Fitz's little home theater to start a movie. About twenty minutes into Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist I get a phone call from Fitz. I leave the room so I can talk to him without interrupting the movie.

"Hey Fitzgerald." I say as I answer.

"Livvy! You picked up!" He replies, and I immediately know he's drunk.

"Of course I picked up. Are you coming home?" I'm a little surprised he's been out this long.

"I AM coming home Livvy! Are you still there? Harrison and I made up. We're bros again."

I can't help myself when I burst out laughing, "Oh yeah, you're _bros_ again are you?"

"Yep, we did karaoke and sang "Piano Man" together. That's a bond that can't be broken." He slurs.

I'm still laughing, "Okay, well are you on your way home?"

"Yes I am sweet baby! I'm just waiting for the car to arrive and then I am coming home to see _you_."

"Oh Fitz, be safe and don't outrageously tip anyone."

Fitz laughs, "But I _like_ to do that."

"I know you do. Now get in the car and come home."

"Yes ma'am!" He responds and immediately hangs up the phone.

I pull my phone away from my ear and just start laughing. After I compose myself I walk back into the home theater and I sit back down. Fitz will probably be home in fifteen minutes or so.

Abby turns to me, "Is your husband on his way home?"

I glare at her but choose not to verbally acknowledge her tease, "Yes, he's on his way and he's hammered."

Lauren laughs, "Oh my god, I _love_ hammered Fitz!"

I turn to her and smile, "I know, he always says or does something ridiculous. Oh, apparently he and Harrison made up."

Abby looks at me, shocked, "Whoa, that's pretty big."

I shrug, "Yeah, we'll see if it sticks or if it was just an aftereffect of them downing a bottle or two of scotch."

Just as I suspected, fifteen minutes later the intercom beeps indicating someone has activated the gate.

"I'm going to go up and make sure he gets in the house okay." I say as I exit the room and head to the front door.

I open it just as Fitz is getting out of the car and stuffing a wad of bills in the driver's hand.

"Olivia Pope!" He yells and I chuckle under my breath and walk over to him.

"Hey there handsome, how are you?"

He leans in to kiss me on the lips and beams at me, "I am wonderful."

He then turns to the driver, "Jim, this is my girlfriend! Isn't she beautiful? I told you she was beautiful!"

The driver laughs and I shoot him an apologetic look, "Thanks for getting him home. Have a good night."

He nods his head and gets back into his car and I lead Fitz up the stairs to the front door.

He takes his shoes off and tosses them in opposite directions before he stands up and looks around the kitchen as if he's confused. "Fitz, do you need something?" I ask.

"Where are the girls?"

"Oh, they're in the theater. Want to…" And before I can finish he's heading to the theater.

I catch up to him as he opens the door and burst in, "Livvy's friends!" He says, throwing his hands dramatically to the sides.

I am trying so hard not start laughing uncontrollably.

The girls turn around and Lauren gets up to greet him, "Hey boss man! How's it going?"

He surprises her and pulls her in for a big hug, "Lauren!"

She's laughing as he lets her go and turns to the other girls, "Lauren is my _favorite_ employee." He then turns around to me looking totally serious, "Besides you of course Livvy."

I laugh and shake my head, "Don't worry Fitz. I know."

"Quinn! How are you?" Fitz says when he sees Quinn.

She laughs, "I'm great Fitz. Thanks for letting us hang out here. Your house is amazing."

Fitz waves his hand in the air, "Of course! You guys are my Livvy's friends and that means you're welcome here _any time_."

He then sees Abby, "Abby, you're back! It's good to see you." Then his faces gets serious, "How's everything going? You'll tell me if I can do anything to help this process, right?"

Abby smiles, "Thanks Fitz. Things are progressing. I will let you know if you can do anything. I really appreciate all your help."

Fitz smiles, "That's good. Please keep me updated."

Abby nods her head in acquiescence.

Fitz turns back to me and opens his arms to envelop me and pull me close to him, "Livvy, I missed you."

I laugh into his chest, "Fitz you were only gone for a few hours."

His head is now buried in my hair, "I know but I missed you. You smell so good."

I laugh, "All right handsome, let's get you to bed. Think you can find your way upstairs?"

His eyes grow wide and he tries to whisper, "Does get to bed mean go to _bed_ or go to sleep?"

I laugh, "I'll decide once you're up there." And with that he takes off.

When he leaves the girls and I all burst out laughing. "So I guess you're heading to _bed_, huh Liv?"

I can feel my cheeks get hot, "Oh shut up. Can you guys power everything down yourselves?"

Abby grabs the remote from its spot on the chair, "Don't worry Liv, I got it. Have a good night and try not to be _too_ loud." She teases.

I roll my eyes at her as I start to blush.

Lauren jumps in, "Oh my god they're loud?" She asks Abby excitedly.

Abby turns to Lauren and nods her head enthusiastically. "Oh my god they are bed-rocking, shower-ruining, vibrating walls kind of loud!"

I am really blushing now. "Abby!" I protest, "We did not _ruin_ the shower."

Abby rolls her eyes, "You may not have ruined it for you but you ruined it for me!"

I laugh and shake my head, "Oh yeah? Well consider that payback for ruining every one of our showers in college!"

She opens her mouth to protest but she thinks about it and says, "Eh, yeah that did happen a lot. Wait, didn't you and Jake ever have sex in our shower?"

I shake my head, "No. I think we only had sex in the shower a total of maybe four times and it was always in his shower."

Abby nods, "All right, I will concede that point then and stop giving you crap about your lively shower sex."

Lauren and Quinn are both laughing hysterically and I just stand there and I can't help but laugh with them. "All right, goodnight ladies. I love you all." I finally say as I exit the room and head up to Fitz's bedroom.

I find him in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He's deposited his suit jacket on the lounge and unbuttoned his oxford almost all the way.

I wrap my arms around his middle and I head for his buttons and start to undo the remaining ones. "Here, let me help you with this."

He grins as he continues brushing his teeth and once I'm done with his shirt buttons I start on his belt and his pants.

Once I've finished those he removes my hands and leans forward to spit and rinse. He grabs a towel and wipes his mouth before turning around to face me.

I put my hands on his shoulders and slowly slide his shirt off his body and let it drop to the floor. He pulls me in and plants a searing kiss on my lips as his hands roam my body.

He turns us around so I am leaning against the vanity and he starts to kiss his way down my body. He pauses when he gets to my waistband and he grabs the hem of my t-shirt and pulls it up over my head and tosses it on the floor behind us.

He then starts to kiss my stomach and goes to work on the drawstring of my shorts. He hooks his fingers into the sides of my shorts and my underwear and pulls them both off in one quick motion.

His mouth gravitates to my center and I toss my head backward as release a moan from the glorious work Fitz's mouth is doing between my legs.

I grip the vanity with one hand and I use the other to run my hand through his silky hair. "Oh god _Fiiitz_."

He groans and suddenly he adds a finger into the mix.

"Fitz." I say breathlessly.

At that point he lifts my right leg up and puts it around his shoulder and I can't stop myself from leaning farther back into the counter because I don't know how much longer I can hold myself up.

Soon enough all this stimulation is just too much and I feel my body let go, the orgasm rippling through me and making my whole body shake.

I'm still in a daze as Fitz kisses his way up my body, pausing to focus on my chest and then making his way slowly up my collarbone, neck, jaw and finally to my mouth.

My daze is over when I feel his lips on mine and I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me so I can kiss him more deeply.

He reaches down and scoots me backward onto the counter and positions himself in-between my legs. I can feel him pressing at my core through the thin fabric of his briefs and I notice that his pants are unbuttoned but still on. He then slides his pants and briefs down his body and his member pops to attention.

He eases himself into me at a painstakingly slow pace so I reach my hand around him to grasp his bum and encourage him to speed up.

He chuckles, "Impatient tonight Livvy?"

"Fitz." I say breathlessly, "Please." And that's all it takes for him to pick up his pace. I hang onto his shoulders and I pull my body closer to his and I bury my face in his neck. I do not want my friends to hear me in the case that I scream.

He lifts my body a little bit, adjusting our angle and with that it sends me completely over the edge. I want to scream but I can't so instead I bite down on his shoulder.

Fitz comes soon after I do and as we come down from our highs we just kiss lazily for a few moments. He then rests his forehead against mine and we can finally catch our breaths.

After a moment I open my eyes, "Hi."

"Hi." He responds, flashing me his gorgeous smile in the process.

I reach my hand up and stroke his cheek, "How are you feeling?"

He laughs, "I'm good. I think I've found my favorite way to sober up."

I laugh, "Good, so no throwing up from you?"

He chuckles, "I think you're safe."

"Thank god. Let's go to bed."

His eyes twinkle mischievously as he bends down and quickly gets rid of his pants, briefs, and socks and then scoops me up, making me squeal.

Thankfully he doesn't stumble and manages to toss me gently on the bed before climbing over me as he starts to kiss me again.

I push him back for a moment and he looks hurt. I start to laugh, "Under the covers Mr. Grant. You have company."

He laughs and stands up, pulling the covers back as I climb under them.

He then gets into bed and snuggles up next to me. He wraps his body around mine and he starts to gently kiss my collarbone.

He's got a little stubble going on his face and it's tickling me just a bit. I just lie there for a while because it feels heavenly.

After a bit I push him away and I jump out of bed.

He groans, "Livvy."

I turn around to see him pouting, "I'm just going to the bathroom, I will be right back."

I'm back a few minutes later and Fitz frowns again when he sees that I've put on a pair of underwear and one of his t-shirts and I have a pair of his boxers in my hand.

I toss them at him and he grumbles, "Do I have to?"

I crawl back into bed and kiss him lightly on the lips, "Yes Fitzgerald. Put on your boxers."

He makes a childish pouty face and he grumpily puts the boxers on underneath the covers.

"Good boy." I say as I climb into bed next to him.

He laughs and pulls me up close to him, "Thanks for taking care of me Livvy."

I take a deep breath and snuggle my head into his warm chest, "Always."

And with that we both fall asleep.

I wake up far too early the next morning because Fitz is snoring loudly on my chest.

I gently shove him off of me and he doesn't even flinch. I chuckle and head into the bathroom. Once I'm done I check on Fitz and then head down the hallway to the guest room Abby is using.

I open the door quietly and I try not to laugh out loud when I see Lauren, Abby, and Quinn all snuggled together in the massive king size guest bed.

I slowly back out of the room, careful not to wake them, and head downstairs to make some pancakes because I decide that's what a good host would do.

I cut up some fruit and then decide to make some bacon and sausage. From there I decide I also want hash browns and then I finally start on the pancakes-banana of course-and it doesn't take me too long to cook up a whole stack. I grab some plates and set up the table outside and then I go upstairs to get the girls.

This time I don't try to be quiet. Instead I run in the room and jump on the bed. "Wake up!" I exclaim.

Lauren wakes up first and doesn't waste any time leaning forward and grabbing my leg so I crash onto the bed. We're both laughing hysterically and Quinn and Abby finally start to wake up.

I manage to stand back up and I smack Abby and Quinn on their butts. "Come on, I made breakfast!"

Abby's ears perk up at the word 'breakfast'. "I'm up!" She says, her hair a total mess because she never bothered to dry it last night.

Quinn and Lauren are yawning but are both getting up slowly but surely and I wait patiently and walk downstairs with them.

Before we make it down the stairs Abby starts to sniff the air, "Holy crap Liv, this smells delicious!" She exclaims as she scurries toward the kitchen.

"Oh my god," Quinn says as we round the corner into the kitchen, "Liv this looks awesome!"

I shrug, "It was nothing."

Lauren rolls her eyes, "Typical Liv."

I elbow her lightly, "If you guys help me grab everything I've set up plates outside for us?"

They all nod enthusiastically and help me carry everything outside.

We serve ourselves and we're sort of lost in the process of eating and still waking up when Lauren speaks, "So Liv, it was nice to see you and Fitz interact without inhibition, at least on his part."

I scrunch up my nose, "Why is that?" I ask. I'm a little confused.

Lauren laughs, "You two are so professional at work and even when I see you outside of work you guys don't show a lot of affection because you're afraid someone will see you. It was nice to have my suspicions confirmed."

Now I frown, "Suspicions?"

She laughs again, "My suspicion that Fitz completely adores you."

I can feel my face get hot, "We love each other." I say, trying to be casual about it and shrug it off.

Lauren shakes her head, "Sweetheart, that man _loves_ you. As in 'can't eat, can't sleep, World Series kind of stuff'."

I laugh, "Thank you for that observation very tall, brunette Olsen twin."

Lauren rolls her eyes at me but just continues talking, "So have you guys talked about getting married?"

I freeze right there on the spot. I was not expecting that question and I have no idea how to respond. Yeah, Fitz and I have talked about it but I've never shared that little fact with anyone else and I don't really know that I want to just yet.

Lauren's eyes grow wide, "Oh my god, you have!"

Abby is stuffing food into her mouth and grinning like a madwoman while Quinn is observing us wide-eyed and silent.

"We…it's…um…its come up casually in conversations." I stutter out.

Lauren folds her arms across her chest and shakes her head at me, still grinning wildly. "Olivia Pope you're going to marry him."

I open my mouth to speak but just as I do someone else responds first, "She won't let me propose until she gets another job."

I'm sure all the color has drained from my face as Fitz comes up behind me and kisses me on the cheek.

I lean forward, elbows on the table in outright defiance of my cotillion instructor, and I rest my face in my hands because this cannot be happening.

Unfortunately Fitz and Lauren keep talking. "I guess that makes sense, she needs to tell her parents you're dating first." Lauren says casually.

"Yeah, I think that's probably best." Fitz responds as he pulls out a chair and sits down next to me.

"But once she gets a new job you're going to propose, right?"

"Oh yeah, definitely."

"Hey, if you need help picking out a ring I am totally onboard?" Lauren ventures.

"Oh yeah, that would be great. We should compare schedules and figure out a good time to go."

Finally I've had enough and I lift my head up, "Are you two serious right now?" I exclaim.

Once I get a good look at their faces I realize they are both smiling wickedly. I instantly ease up. "Oh my god, you're screwing with me aren't you?"

And with that Lauren bursts out laughing.

Fitz leans forward and pats me on the shoulder, "I'm so sorry Livvy, it's just so easy."

I scowl and cross my arms as I lean back in my chair. "You two are evil."

They just continue to laugh and I scowl, "Fine then. No sex for you," I say pointing at Fitz, "and I'll think of some way to make you suffer." I say as I turn my gaze to Lauren.

Now Abby is laughing hysterically, "Oh come on Liv, it was funny!"

"Oh, you think you're getting out of this? I'll figure out how to get you two back as well." I say as seriously as I can manage as I point at Abby and Quinn.

"What? We didn't do anything?" Abby exclaims.

"You just sat here and watched them mess with me and didn't say anything. You know how I roll Abby, Mafia rules, you, your family, everyone in the room."

Fitz just continues to laugh beside me and I turn to him, "Fitz, stop laughing." I beg.

He manages to stop laughing and he leans forward and kisses me on the cheek, "I'm sorry sweet baby. I will stop teasing you."

I roll my eyes; "There's an empty promise if I ever heard one."

He laughs, "How about I stop teasing you for today?"

I can't help but smile as I roll my eyes, "I'll believe that when it happens. And by the way, how are you not horribly hung over right now?"

Fitz shrugs and leans back in his chair, "I'm one of the X-Men. My genetic mutation is absorbing alcohol so quickly I'm never hung over."

I roll my eyes and laugh.

"Wow, now I understand why you two hooked up at Quasar Con. I knew Liv was a huge nerd but now it's clicking because you are _both_ nerds."

Fitz and I just laugh and shrug our shoulders. Abby is not wrong.

Thankfully the rest of our breakfast is pleasant and we all just chat nicely, no more talk about marriage to my great relief.

The girls help us clean up and then decide they need to leave since they all have things to do. They all thank Fitz, I promise Abby I will be home tonight, and then they all head out.

I shut the front door and I turn toward Fitz and cross my arms as I lean backward against the wall.

He grins and starts to walk toward me. He gets close to me and I hold out my arm, feigning an attempt to fend him off.

He grabs my hand and wraps an arm around my waist, somehow managing to throw me over his shoulder and carry me up the stairs.

I pretend to be mad, "Fitzgerald put me down!" But I can't stop myself from laughing.

He takes me to his bedroom and he tosses me on the bed so I'm lying with my body on it but my feet hanging off. He pulls my legs up and plants my feet on the mattress and makes himself comfortable between my legs. He then starts to undo my robe and his hand finds its way under my t-shirt and his lips find my mouth.

I kiss him back, god he feels so good, and then I remember that I'm withholding sex and I manage to scoot myself up and away from Fitz.

"Fitzgerald Thomas Grant you're trying to make forget I'm withholding sex. Very sneaky Mr. Grant but I cannot be broken."

Fitz climbs onto the bed and grabs my leg, making me squeal as he pulls me back toward him and situates his body over my legs as he leans forward and gently grips my neck as he starts to kiss me.

"Oh my god, you're killing my self-control." I say. I couldn't stop kissing him back if I tried.

He chuckles against my skin as his mouth makes its way down my neck and he pauses for one brief moment as he pulls my shirt over my head and then his mouth is devouring my chest.

I lean into his mouth, "Oh my god really, I have no self-control whatsoever when it comes to you." I moan.

He looks up at me, the desire so visible on his face that it's making all the heat in my body pool between my legs. "How about we just pretend you managed to withhold sex? You can tell all your friends that's what happened and I will admit you are right."

I gasp when he stops talking and his mouth immediately finds my nipple, "I do enjoy it when you admit I'm right."

"Yes Livvy, you're always right. I concede. You are the queen of my universe. Now be quiet and let me do my job as your loyal subject and pleasure you until you see stars."

I start to laugh but I'm immediately halted when his mouth makes its way down my stomach, leaving hot and wet kisses in his wake as he heads to the spot where I want him most.

I somehow manage a coherent thought, "Can I record you saying that?" I somehow gasp out loud.

Fitz pauses and laughs, "You're such a journalist. But yes, I will repeat it later and you can record it and use it against me whenever you wish."

And that's when he pulls my undies off and buries his head between my legs.

I can hardly even describe what he does down there; it's like some glorious combination of his lips, his tongue, and occasionally a finger or two. Before I know it my orgasm rips through my body and I am convulsing under Fitz as he kisses his way back up my body.

When I open my eyes he is hovering above me, completely satisfied with himself.

I roll my eyes, "Seriously, your ego is out of control."

He laughs and just shrugs.

I laugh and I move to sit up. I kneel on the bed and I turn around to look at Fitz, "Since you're supposed to be in trouble we are doing this my way."

Fitz's eyes twinkle as he deposits his boxers and shirt on the floor and then gets onto his knees behind me, "I'm all for doing things your way Livvy." He says as he gets close enough to me so that his chest is touching my back, his hands find my breasts, and his mouth finds the spot behind my ear that makes me go all loopy. "Like I said, you're the queen of my universe."

I groan as his mouth caresses my neck and I reach down and between my legs to find his member. I stroke him a couple times before I slowly guide him into me.

I reach backward to grip his thigh and one of his hands finds it way between my legs and starts to stroke my core. He's moving slow but right now that's good because at this angle he's filling me and I need slow for the time being.

I crane my neck around so our lips find each other and he picks up the pace just slightly. We continue like this, his finger hastening my journey to the edge and all of a sudden my orgasm hits me so hard my legs are wobbly and I can barely hold my position.

I lean forward and place my arms on the mattress to hold myself up. Fitz strokes my back gently and he leans forward to grab a pillow so he can put it under my hips.

I sink down onto the mattress and pillow and Fitz follows me, his body resting between my legs. He leans forward and brushes my hair off to the side, "You okay?" He whispers.

I am still catching my breath but I manage to respond, "Yeah, I'm great."

He grins and leans forward to kiss me, "You okay to keep going?"

I flash him a wicked grin, "Wouldn't that be so mean of me to leave you with blue balls?"

Suddenly his face falls and I start to laugh, "I'm just kidding Fitz."

He shakes his head and quietly laughs as he thrusts himself inside me once again.

His chest is pressed against my back and he starts to kiss my shoulder and my neck. My over-stimulated body is already on the edge after just a few moments and I can feel Fitz finding his edge as well when he starts to pick up his pace.

I let go again and this is enough to push him over the edge and he collapses onto my back. After a moment he rolls off me and he pulls me close to him. He nuzzles his head into my neck, "See, wasn't that so much better than punishment? Wouldn't you rather have mind-blowing triple orgasm sex than no sex at all?"

I laugh, "Yeah, that was definitely better. Though I think my lack of self-control has led me to make you believe that every time you mess with me you just have to give me a couple mind-blowing orgasms. You mess up and you get sex…something is wrong with that picture?" I tease.

He laughs, "Really? I think it's a fantastic system."

"That reminds me," I say as I reach over to the nightstand to grab my phone and open the voice memo app, "say it into the recorder. You promised."

Fitz laughs and grabs the phone from me, "Happy to." He clears his throat dramatically and hits the record button on my phone, "This is Fitzgerald Grant and I would just like to say on the record that I am madly in love with Olivia Pope. I concede that she is always right even when she is wrong. She is the queen of my world and I vow to devote my life to pleasing her sexually."

I am laughing hysterically as I grab my phone out of his hand and stop the recording. I toss my phone back on the nightstand and I turn around to face him. I kiss him lightly on the lips and then I whisper, "ass", as I pull away.

Fitz laughs, "Hey not nice." He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, "I meant every word."

I bite my lip and reach out to stroke my fingers through his chest hair. "I know you did." I whisper and I scoot myself close to him.

He wraps his arms around my body and he kisses the top of my head. "It's only 12, what should we do today?"

I shrug, "I don't know. It's gorgeous outside so I guess something outside."

All of a sudden Fitz sits up, "We're going to the beach!" He exclaims.

I smile, "Santa Cruz?"

He nods, "Yeah, it's just a thirty minute drive. Come on Liv, it will be great."

"Okay, lets do it."

It only takes us about twenty minutes to get a beach bag together and we load it into Fitz's Mercedes. He grabs two foldable beach chairs from the storage area of the garage and he puts those in the trunk as well.

We cruise down highway 17 with the top down and end up making it to Santa Cruz in just under thirty minutes. We head to the beach and thankfully its not too crowded and we find a good spot for our chairs.

We set them up and Fitz quickly pulls off his t-shirt and starts to rummage through the bag to find his suntan lotion.

He turns around and by then I have taken off my sundress and am sporting the brand new two-piece I ordered offline last week. It's a white crocheted suit. It's simple but sexy and I've been really excited to wear it.

Fitz's eyes grow wide when he sees me and he steps forward to touch my sides lightly. "You look gorgeous Olivia." He says as he leans forward to kiss me lightly.

I grin, "Thanks, you're not half bad yourself."

Fitz cups my cheeks and kisses me one more time, "So you want me to rub lotion on you?"

I laugh, "Yes please."

I lie down on the lounge chair and Fitz starts putting lotion on my arms. He then moves to my legs and starts heading back up my body. He makes his way to my stomach and finally to my chest.

I pretend to slap his hand away when it casually ventures into my swimsuit top. He then puts lotion on my face and when he's done he leans in to kiss me.

"Thanks Fitz." I whisper.

He grabs my sunhat out of the bag and puts it on my head. "Anytime sweet baby."

"Want me to help you?" I ask, grabbing his hand so I can pull him down so he can sit on the edge of my chair.

He doesn't speak, he just smiles and hands me the lotion.

I rub it along his back, chest, and arms while he gets his legs himself. When I am done he leans over to kiss me lightly and then gets up and he moves back to his chair.

I watch as he puts a little lotion on his face and then deposits the lotion back in the back. He then grabs a baseball hat and puts it on.

I just look at him and he stares back at me, "What's going on Livvy?"

I smile and reach my hand out and barely reach his forearm, "I can't reach you."

He grins at me, a look that can only be described as teaming with manly pride. "You want me to move my chair closer to yours?"

I bring my hand up to my mouth and bite my thumb while I nod my head.

He looks around and raises his eyebrows, "You don't care if people see?"

I shake my head, "I don't care who sees. Even if someone we know just happens to be around."

He grins and gets up to move his chair right next to mine and then situates himself in the chair.

He turns to me, "This better?"

I smile and nod, "Much better. Now I can hold your hand." I say as I reach my hand down to intertwine our fingers.

We just sit like this for a little while, enjoying the sunshine and taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of the beach. Then I remember something I've wanted to ask Fitz about.

"Fitz?" I ask.

He turns his head to face me, "Yeah, Livvy?"

"Last night you said that you and Harrison made up, what happened?"

He covers his face with his free hand and starts to laugh, "Yeah, that was an interesting ordeal."

"So what happened?"

"Well, we went to dinner and everything was all right. He was professional but made sure not to get into any personal conversations with me-you know, like he's been all week. After we were done with dinner we went out to the parking lot and I tried to have a polite conversation with him and he got angry and told me he wasn't ready to talk to me just yet. Well, I wasn't having that and I kind of just let him have it."

My eyes grow wide, "What did you do?"

He takes a deep breath, "Well, I told him that he could believe whatever he wanted to but the truth of the matter is that I'm in love with you. I'm not just sleeping with you, I'm not just using you as some tool to help me get through a midlife crisis. I told him that you're everything to me. I told him that I didn't set out to seduce you; I struggled with my feelings for you because I didn't want to be that guy. I didn't want to be the creepy forty-something guy dating a twenty-something girl. I struggled with those feelings for months but I was so drawn to you and not just your outer beauty but also your inner beauty, what a complex person you are, how you intrigue me more than anyone I've ever met. I told him how I can't imagine not having you in my life and how I would do anything to keep you. Honestly I had given up on ever finding love again, then you came into my life and it was like everything was new."

I'm just grinning at him like an idiot but I don't really care, "And what did he say to that?"

He laughs, "Well he just sort of stared at me for a minute, like he was having a hard time believing what I said. Then I apologized, I told him I was sorry that we didn't tell him and that he didn't deserve to find out the way he did. I told him that we should have told him face to face and it was wrong of us to be that careless around the office. And finally he looked me in the eye and he pointed at me and said, "Okay. But if you hurt her, I'll kill you." And then we went to a karaoke bar and drank way too much.

I burst out laughing and when I calm myself down I turn back toward Fitz, "I'm glad you worked things out. Harrison is a pretty reasonable guy. I knew he'd come around eventually but I'm glad you confronted him about it. I'm glad he knows how wonderful you really are, how much you care about me."

He smiles and leans in to kiss me, "I told you, Livvy. You're my everything."

We spend the rest of the afternoon talking and taking random dips in the ocean. It's a lovely day and by 6:00 we decide we should grab some dinner and head home. We stop at a dive-y looking Mexican restaurant, which is of course delicious, and we decide to just eat there before we head home.

We pick a booth to sit in and both slide into the same side of the booth. We are laughing and joking around as we eat when all of a sudden someone says Fitz's name from across the restaurant.

The man walks over to us and says Fitz's name again, "Fitz Grant, if it isn't you in the flesh! Man, how have you been?" He says as he reaches out to shake Fitz's hand.

Fitz stands up and extends his hand to shake the man's hand. "Tom, it's great to see you. I'm doing very well. How's everything with you?"

"I'm great. Susan and I are spending a week at our house here while the kids are at summer camp. I'm just picking up dinner."

Fitz laughs, "Sounds like a good week. How's Susan doing?"

Tom smiles, "She's doing great. Still loving private practice."

Fitz grins, "That's just great."

Tom looks over at me and I try to smile as normally as possible. "Who's this lovely woman?" He asks.

Fitz turns around and beams at me, instantly making my anxiety disappear. "I'm so sorry." He motions for me to stand up and I comply. "Olivia this is Tom. We went to Berkeley together. Tom this is Olivia. She's my…" He pauses for a minute and looks at me as if asking for confirmation and I nod my head slightly, silently granting him permission. He smiles, "Olivia is my girlfriend."

Tom reaches out to shake my hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you Olivia." He looks over at Fitz and then back at me, "I don't think I've seen this guy look this relaxed and happy in a long time. I can tell you're good for him."

I feel the blush creep up on my face and I look away. Fitz laughs and wraps an arm around me, "She's very good for me. I can assure you of that. And she's also a Berkeley alum."

Tom smiles, "It's always great to meet another Cal grad."

All of a sudden the cashier calls Tom's name indicating his food is ready. Tom looks back at him and then to us, "Well I should get going but it was great to see you Fitz. Can we do dinner sometime soon? I know Susan would love to catch up. Of course Olivia is invited as well."

Fitz grins, "That sounds great. I'd love to catch up Tom. It was great to see you."

I nod my head, "Yeah, that sounds great. It was a pleasure to meet you."

Tom smiles, "You two have a great dinner. Truly Olivia, it was a pleasure to meet you." He says with a wave as he walks to the counter to grab his food.

Fitz and I sit back down and I turn to face him in my seat. "You introduced me as your girlfriend."

He looks at me intently, "Was that all right?"

I grin, "It was one of the best things I've ever heard."

He leans in to kiss me and I happily kiss him back. After a moment I pull away, "I hate to ruin the moment…but do you think he's going to tell anyone?"

Fitz shakes his head, "No, Tom lives in Berkeley. I don't think we have anything to worry about."

I smile and nod my head, "You know, surprisingly I'm not all that worried. If it happens, it happens. We can figure it out."

Fitz grins, "Yes we can." And leans in to kiss me again.

We make it back to Fitz's house a little after 7:30 and grab some of his things so he can spend the night at my apartment and get together some of my things so I can switch them out.

We arrive at my apartment around 9:00 and when we walk in Abby has music blasting in the living room and has a big tarp lain out underneath her easel.

"Hey Abby!" I say over the music.

She turns toward us and a big smile forms on her face as she reaches over to turn the music down.

"Hey Liv! Hey Fitz! How was the beach?"

I smile, "It was great. The perfect day."

Fitz walks over to the canvas she's painting and they start to talk. Abby has been interested in mixed media artwork lately and Fitz wants to know what mediums she's been using besides paint.

They are talking art so I take the opportunity to drop my bag and Fitz's off in my room and then go use the bathroom. I also take the opportunity to wash my face and brush out my hair because it's a mess from driving with the top down.

When I'm done I walk back into the living room and I smile when I see that they are still talking. I walk up to them and I wrap my arms around Fitz's waist and rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around me but continues chatting with Abby.

I like this. Standing here and just listening to two of the people I care about most getting along so well is really nice. Abby and Jake never got along very well and were only cordial with each other because of me. It's nice to see that Abby and Fitz just genuinely like each other.

After a bit Abby looks over at me and she laughs, "You look exhausted Livia."

I stifle a yawn; "I got a lot of sun today."

Fitz laughs and bends down to kiss the top of my head, "Go get ready for bed. I'll be there in a minute and we can watch a movie."

I try to stifle another yawn but I fail. I just nod my head and remove myself from Fitz's grasp to give Abby a hug. "Goodnight Abs. I love you."

She hugs me back, "I love you too Liv. Goodnight."

And with that I head into the bathroom to start getting ready. Once I'm finished in the bathroom I head into the bedroom and throw on a new pair of underwear and one of the many Berkeley t-shirt's I have taken from Fitz.

I turn the tv on and climb into bed. I'm scrolling through Netflix when Fitz walks into the room. "Did you pick out a movie?" He asks.

I shrug, "What do you want to watch?"

"Whatever you want to watch Livvy."

I yawn, "Are you okay with just turning on a couple episodes of Parks and Recreation?"

"Anything you want Livvy. I'll be right back." He says as he heads into the bathroom. A few minutes later he comes back out and he's just wearing a pair of boxers. He shuts my bedroom door and he flips off the light before climbing into bed with me.

He pulls me close to him and I sigh as I sink back into the comfort of his body.

Fitz kisses my neck and whispers, "It's just after 9:30 Livvy."

I groan, "I know, I can't help it though. I'm so tired."

He chuckles, "That's all right sweetheart. I know I wore you out earlier today."

I smile and shake my head. I turn around so that I'm facing him. "I like seeing you interact with my friends, even when you tease me. I like that they like you. And I liked you introducing me as your girlfriend. I _really_ liked that."

Fitz smiles, "You know what I really like?"

I shake my head 'no'.

"I really like being your boyfriend."

I wrap my arm around his strong torso and I snuggle closer to him. "I love you." I whisper.

"I love you." He whispers back and just as I'm letting myself fall asleep I hear him whisper something else. It's barely audible but I know I hear him say it, "And someday we're going to get married and for the rest of my life I'm going to really like being your husband."

And just before I fall asleep I think to myself how much I'm going to like being his wife.


	34. Chapter 34

"_It isn't given to us to know those rare moments when people are wide open and the lightest touch can wither or heal. A moment too late and we can never reach them any more in this world. They will not be cured by our most efficacious drugs or slain with our sharpest swords." _

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Basil: The Freshest Boy_

* * *

Wednesday morning I wake up begrudgingly to the sound of my phone ringing. I peel myself out of Fitz's embrace and reach over to grab my phone. I accidentally knock it off the nightstand after it rings for the fourth time. I grumble as I get out of bed to pick it up.

I glance over at the clock when I stumble out of bed and I groan when I see the time. It's only five in the morning. I want to kill whoever is calling me this early.

I pick up the phone and see that it's Victoria. I wonder what she wants? Even on a weekday she's rarely up before eight unless she absolutely has to be.

I hurry into the closet and shut the door so as not to disturb Fitz. I sit down and make myself cozy on the chaise lounge and answer. "Vic?" I say, groggily.

"Olive, thank god you picked up."

Oh god, she called me Olive. This cannot be good. She sounds like she's been crying and I'm suddenly very concerned. "Vic what's going on? Are you all right?"

She starts to sob into the phone and I hear her mumble what I think is 'no'.

"Vic, it's okay, calm down. Please tell me what's going on?" Now I'm starting to freak out a little.

"Olive I…I think I'm pregnant."

My eyes are wide and my mouth drops open and it takes me a minute to compose myself before I can respond. "Oh my god Vic, are you…how…holy crap…what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I have a doctors appointment today to confirm but…but I can't go alone. Please Liv, if you can manage it I really need you here."

I bite my lip, it's Wednesday and I have to work but I'm pretty sure Fitz will let me off for this. "Um, yeah just let me talk to Fitz. What time is your appointment?"

She takes a deep breath, "It's at 10:30."

"Okay, okay I'll check with Fitz. Can I call you back? I don't want to wake him up just yet."

"Um, yeah. I'm sorry I called you so early. I just couldn't sleep last night and I was freaking out. I just needed to tell you."

She sounds so scared and I hate that I don't know what to do about it. It's making me want to cry. "Vic, do you want to talk about it?"

"I…I don't even know what to say Liv. Can you just…can you just come up here as soon as you can?"

"Yeah, yeah of course Vic."

"Thanks Olive. You really are the best. I'll let you get back to sleep for a little while."

I smile, "I'll be there no matter what. Even if I just have to take a really long lunch. I promise I'll be there."

"Thanks Liv, I love you."

"I love you too, Vic. And remember, everything is going to be okay."

She signs, "Bye Liv."

I lie back on the lounge for a moment and let this information sink in before I get up and head back out to Fitz's room.

When I open the door I frown. I'm dismayed to find Fitz is gone but I'm relieved when a second later he walks back into the room from the bathroom.

"Hey sweet baby, what's going on?" He asks as he yawns.

I sigh in relief and wrap my arms around his strong middle and nuzzle my head against his chest.

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me back over to the bed. We climb in and I curl up to him.

"Livvy?" Fitz pries, running his hand up and down my back soothingly.

I sigh and nuzzle my head further into his neck; "I need to go up to San Francisco today."

Fitz pulls away from me, a totally confused look on his face, so I continue. "Victoria needs me to go to a doctors appointment with her because she thinks she's pregnant."

Fitz's eyes grow wide, "Wow…that's um…wow."

I sigh and start to gently trace patterns on his chest with my fingers, "I know. I felt so terrible; I didn't even know what to say to her. But um, is it okay if I take the day off to go up and see her?"

Fitz nods, "Of course Livvy, it's fine. Do you need some company?"

I smile and kiss him on the cheek, "You _know_ I'd like nothing more but how strange would it look if we both randomly took the day off?"

"I can make it a work trip. I can actually do work. We can drive up for the day and while you're with Victoria I can meet with Jeff Bishop and get a head start on his fall projects. I'll take him to brunch or something."

"Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, I'd love it if you came but I don't want to make you."

He pulls me closer and kisses the side of my head, "It's settled then. I'm coming. I'll call Martha and let her know we will be out on business today."

"Thank you." I say, a huge grin on my face, before I yawn and nuzzle my head into Fitz's strong chest and fall back asleep.

We wake back up around seven and as Fitz goes to shower I phone Victoria. She answers right away, "Hey Liv, can you come?"

"Yeah, Fitz gave me the entire day. Hey, um, is it okay if he comes with? He's not going to go with us to your appointment, he's going to meet with a client, but he just wanted to come with. I hope that's all right."

"Yeah, of course!" She exclaims and frankly I'm surprised at her exuberance. "That's actually great because it gives me something to look forward to so I can distract myself from the awfulness that is currently my life."

I smile, that makes sense, "Okay good. Thanks Vic. We're going to leave around 8 so we'll see you around 9ish."

"Okay, thanks again Liv. You're the best."

"Bye Vic, see you soon." I say as I hang up the phone and walk into the bathroom to start getting ready.

We're ready about an hour later and we head out to the car. Fitz looks devastatingly handsome in his casual khaki suit, light blue shirt, and an amazing brown and grey diagonal striped tie, and we actually match really well because I'm wearing a white boho style sundress with strappy gold, tan, and turquoise sandals and a brown sun hat.

I walk over to the passenger side of his Mercedes and I'm confused when he walks past the driver's side and down the garage.

"I thought we could take the Ferrari?" He says, winking at me as he walks down the garage.

My eyes light up. We use his Range Rover when we go hiking and we drive his Tesla to Santa Cruz a lot but I've never been in his Ferrari.

I skip over to the side of the car and get in. I sink into the luxurious leather and sigh as I get a whiff of its glorious scent. "How have we been dating for five months and yet you've never taken me anywhere in this car?"

Fitz laughs as he opens the garage door and backs out and we start out on our trip. "I had to keep some cards in my hand, otherwise how was I going to get you to stick around?"

I laugh and roll my eyes. "You could drive one of those silly little smart cars and I'd still stick around." I pause, "Thank you for coming with me."

He reaches over and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers on the console. "Anything for you sweet baby."

I blush and lean over so I can snuggle up to his arm.

"Also I really want to meet your sister. I mean, think of the dirt I can get on you."

I pretend to be offended and smack him playfully on the arm but I get serious quickly. "Fitz, I don't know how to deal with this. I mean…I don't know what she wants from me."

He sighs, "Sweet baby, all she wants from you is for you to be there for her. She just wants someone in her corner. Just be there for her and support her."

I kiss him lightly on the shoulder, "What would I do without you?"

Fitz smiles and squeezes my hand, "You would be fine. You're the smartest, most capable person I know. But if I have any say in it you won't ever have to be without me."

I can't help myself when I grin and kiss his bicep.

We get into the city fairly quickly and at ten to nine we pull up in front of Victoria's apartment building and I'm a little nervous.

We head up to Victoria's apartment and before I knock on the door I turn to Fitz and I start to fix his tie. He raises his eyebrows as he looks at me, "What's the problem?"

God that man can read me like a book. I sigh, "I'm nervous. I want her to like you."

Fitz smiles and places his hands on my cheeks so he can pull me in and give me a light kiss. "I'll try my hardest to be charming."

I grin as he pulls away, "Not too charming though. We don't want her falling in love with you."

Fitz laughs, "You know there's only one woman _I'll_ ever love."

My face gets warm and I reach forward to grip his shoulders lightly and pull myself up to kiss him.

He wraps his arms around my middle and deepens the kiss and I wrap my arms around his neck. We both sink into it and kind of forget we are at Victoria's front door until suddenly her door opens and I hear, "Well, well little sister, making out in my hallway are we? Very nice."

I pull myself away from Fitz and turn to face my sister. I'm a little surprised when I notice that she's perfectly put together as usual. Every hair on her head in perfect place and her usual high fashion apparel is perfectly pressed and fitted.

I smile and before I can get a word out she squeals and leaps forward to hug me, "Liv I'm so happy you're here!" She then pulls back, hands on my shoulders, "Oh my god you look gorgeous." She then turns her attention to Fitz. "And speaking of gorgeous, you must be Fitz, it is _such _a pleasure to finally meet you! Liv talks about you _all_ the time."

Fitz grins proudly at me and I roll my eyes. He just laughs at me and sticks his hand out for Victoria to shake, "It's a pleasure to meet you Victoria. I've heard a lot about you as well."

Victoria reaches out and shakes his hand, "Seriously Fitz, I don't know what you did to this one but I've never seen her this boy crazy in her entire life."

Fitz grins at me and pulls me close to his side, "I'm just lucky I guess."

I wrap my arm around his waist and give him a small squeeze.

"Aww," Victoria moans, "You guys are so cute."

She ushers us into her apartment and I'm honestly a little confused by her pep. She seemed so scared this morning I don't know how she managed to pull a complete 180.

"So Fitz, this is my humble abode." She takes us on a quick tour of her adorable apartment. It's totally her; perfectly put together in her signature bohemian with a touch of prep style. We finish the tour in her kitchen where she proceeds to ask us if we would like any coffee.

Fitz's phone starts to ring and he excuses himself into the living room and I take that opportunity to ask Victoria for a little more information.

"So Vic, what's going on? What happened?"

She shakes her head, "I can't talk about this right now Liv. If I think about it for another moment I'm going to go crazy. I'll tell you before the appointment but right now I just need you to distract me."

I frown but decide to humor her so I nod my head slowly in agreement.

She hands me a cup of coffee and we sip our drinks in silence for a few moments. I honestly just don't know what to say. Thankfully Fitz comes back into the room and he's the perfect distraction for Victoria.

She pours him a cup and we all sit down at her kitchen table.

"Fitz, your suit is awesome. Khaki suits are so in style right now but not everyone can pull them off, but you are rocking it."

Fitz laughs, "Thank you. I do try so it's good to know I'm not failing miserably, especially from someone in the fashion industry. How's your job?"

Vic smiles, she absolutely loves her job and she loves talking about it.

I just sit there and listen as they discuss her job. I can't stop grinning at Fitz. It really means a lot to me that he's putting in so much effort with Victoria.

Suddenly I hear Victoria say my name and she starts to laugh. "Oh my god Olivia, can't you focus on anything but your boyfriend for more than a minute?"

I blush and I try to brush her off with an eye roll and by crossing my arms and turning my body so that I'm not looking at either of them.

All of a sudden my chair is being pulled toward Fitz's and then he wraps an arm around my shoulders and kisses my cheek.

I can't help it when I start to laugh and then I put my hand over his cheek and kiss him lightly on the lips. "I know, I'm pathetic and I don't even care."

We spend the hour chatting and at ten Fitz has to get going to meet his client. He heads out and the minute he closes the door Victoria starts gushing about him.

"Dear god Liv, that man is _beautiful_."

I giggle, "I know right? I have never found anyone as attractive as I find him. And his personality, god, he's just the best person I've ever met. I am so crazy about him."

She smiles, "He seems great Liv. And the way he looks at you…god I'm so jealous. He's totally in love with you."

My face starts to get flush and when I press my hands to my cheeks I can feel the warmth radiating from them. "I love him so much. Vic, I miss him when he's gone for even just a couple hours and when I'm not with him I just want to talk about him. I mean all the time. I'm so pathetic. I feel like a love-struck teenager in some stupid rom-com."

Victoria smiles at me but a moment later her face falls and she covers her mouth as she starts to cry.

I get up out of my chair and pull her close to me. "Oh Vic, I'm so sorry. Don't cry. It's all going to be okay. I'm sorry. I feel terrible for talking about my relationship when you're going through all of this. It was so insensitive of me. I'm so sorry."

She calms down after a moment and I lead her over to the sofa so we can both sit down and I can comfort her.

She smiles through her tears, "No Liv, don't apologize. I'm so happy for you, and you deserve to be this happy. I guess I'm just a little jealous. I was always the romantic when we were kids. I wanted to grow up and fall in love and be whisked away while you were the practical one. You wanted a career and to change the world and if a guy happened to come along you were okay with that, but you weren't looking for it. I wanted the fairytale. I wanted the prince, the white knight, the perfect storybook character."

I frown, "I thought you were falling in love with Matt?"

She smiles, "I am. He's great, really he is, I just…I expected my life to go differently than this."

I hug her tightly, "Life rarely ever goes the way you plan."

She lets out a small chuckle, "I know. I'm just scared. I don't know if I'm ready to be a Mom."

"Vic, I know you'd be a great Mom. You've always wanted kids. You were the most in demand babysitter in Okinawa and Palos Verdes. And you're doing so well here. You have a great job with great hours, you've got a boyfriend who loves you, and you're twenty-eight years old. You aren't a kid anymore, I mean people have kids way earlier than twenty-eight. Mom and Dad had you when they were 25 and 26 and Mom was in law school. And if you're worried about Dad, just don't even think about it, he's so proud of you and you having a baby before you're married isn't going to change that."

She smiles, "Yeah, I just, I don't know if I'm ready."

"If you…if you are…would you consider terminating it?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. I'm glad I have the option, but like you said, I've always wanted kids and there's this little part of me that wants to be so excited about this whole thing."

"Well…I never told you this but Fitz and I had a little bit of a pregnancy scare a couple months ago and it was hard to talk about it but I'm glad we did because now I know what he wants. I know how he feels about kids and I know what he wants from our relationship. I think you need to talk to Matt. He's a good guy. He's going to be there for you no matter what. He may not be a fairytale character but he's a good person and he really likes you and from what you've told me about him I think you can count on him to be someone who can be there when you need him."

She manages to smile again through her tears, "Yeah, he is a good person. He really is, you're right, I do need to talk to him but I'm not ready just yet." She pauses for a minute before continuing, "I bet Fitz wants like six kids with you."

I roll my eyes, "Four. I said two, maybe three."

She grins, "Do you guys talk about kids a lot?"

I purse my lips, "A little. I mean, he's forty-three, his biological clock is going off."

She places her elbow on the back on the sofa and props her head up on her hand. "You're pursing your lips, this topic makes you uncomfortable."

I lean my head back and start to laugh, "You know me far too well."

"What are sisters for?" She quips.

I sigh, "It's not that I don't want kids, because I do and the more I think about having Fitz's babies the more appealing the idea sounds, but at the same time I don't want to forget about having a career. That's so important to me and I screwed it up enough by taking time off during college and grad school. I just need to prove to myself that I can still be the person I always wanted to be."

"Well you guys would have gorgeous kids. And Fitz doesn't strike me as the type of person to let you just fall into the role of stay at home Mom."

I smile, "No, I'm pretty sure he would offer to be a stay at home Dad before I even had to think about being a stay at home Mom."

"What's the issue then?" Vic pries.

I sigh, "I'm scared of what Mom and Dad are going to think, well mostly Dad. Fitz is almost eighteen years older than me. Dad is going to freak out and you know it."

Victoria laughs, "Liv, you're Dad's golden girl. You could fuck up completely and he'd still be proud of you. He knows what you've been through. I don't think he'd risk losing you."

I bite my lip and Victoria continues speaking, "You've thought about it…you'd choose Fitz wouldn't you? If Dad disapproved and made you choose?"

I nod my head and take a big gulp, "I would. I would choose Fitz in a heartbeat. I can't imagine life without him anymore. I can't breathe without him. I can't sleep without him. I wait for him. I watch for him. My every feeling is controlled by the look on his face. He owns me. He controls me. I belong to him."

Victoria pulls me in for a hug, "Trust me Livia, he belongs to you too."

I smile, "We got in this fight a few weeks ago. I freaked out at how comfortable we were getting with each other and he basically told me I had to stop running away and be an adult and he walked away. I've honestly never been so scared in my entire life. I thought we were done and it just made me feel like someone poured cement into my chest. It was like I couldn't breathe. It was awful. I've never wanted to be more for someone the way I do with Fitz. It's…it's strange but in a good way."

Victoria smiles, "God, it is so great seeing you get all googly eyed over a boy!"

I laugh and roll my eyes, "Thanks Vic."

She laughs, "So are you going to introduce him to Mom and Dad anytime soon?"

I nod, "Yeah, the company hosts this big charity event in LA every year and it's in a couple weeks. Fitz wants me to invite them so they will all get to meet soon. I think it's better if they meet him first before they know we're dating. I think it might go over a bit better."

Victoria nods, "Yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea. Mom will totally love him and she will be able to take that into consideration when she finds out you two are together. And even if it doesn't work for Dad, Mom will eventually get him to come around."

I smile, "Yeah, she really is the head of the house."

Victoria laughs, "Don't tell the old Marine that."

I laugh, "Oh, and Fitz was Navy so Dad will like that."

"Oh yeah, I totally see that. What did he do?"

I grin, "Flyboy."

Victoria laughs, "Of course he was. You and your love of fighter jets."

"You know what's funny is that the last year we lived at Miramar he was at the Fighter Weapons School. I used to watch those jets all the time when we were little. It's so strange to think he could have been flying one of them."

Victoria raises her eyebrows, "Wow, that kind of puts into perspective how much older he is than you."

I stiffen up, "I know, but I don't care. I love him."

Victoria reaches out and puts her hand gently on my wrist, "Oh no, sorry sweetie I didn't mean to make that sound like a bad thing. Honestly I always thought you'd end up with an older guy. You've always been kind of an old soul. I think maybe because you're so smart and you're so perceptive. I think Fitz is perfect for you."

I place my hand over hers, "He really is perfect. I adore him."

Victoria laughs and shakes her head, "God Liv, you're grinning like a maniac! So how long has it been officially for you guys?"

I smile, "Five months this weekend."

Victoria grins, "Do you think he's got anything…_special_ planned?" She asks, flashing her hand like she's showing off a ring.

I shake my head, "Not like that! We're not quite there yet. Though I'm sure he's got something up his sleeve. A couple weeks ago we had a date night and he told me to get dressed up and, oh wait, I've got a picture!" I pull out my phone and show Victoria the picture of Fitz and I on the rooftop where we had dinner."

Victoria grabs the phone and grins, "Oh my god you're wearing the dress I sent you! God Liv, you look gorgeous in it! Ugh you and your sample size body make me want to punch you. And Fitz, holy damn he wears that suit well. She flips to the next picture, which happens to be a close-up Fitz took of me while I was taking in the view from the rooftop.

She scrunches her eyes up and zooms in on my earrings, "Holy shit Liv, did he buy you diamond earrings?"

I blush and cover my mouth with my hand, "Um, yeah he did."

She looks more closely at the photo, "Oh my god those look like Tiffany, are they Tiffany?" She asks, practically drooling as she speaks.

I nod my head, "Yeah, they are Tiffany."

She hands my phone back to me and she sighs and starts to finger a bracelet on her wrist. "Matt got me this bracelet for our month anniversary, which was only three-ish weeks ago…god Liv, this is so fucked up. I mean, I know that even though we've only been officially dating for two months we had been seeing each other for two months before that and we have been friends for over a year."

I reach over to place my hand on her shoulder and squeeze it reassuringly. "And Matt's had a crush on you since like the day you guys met."

She turns to face me, looking confused, "How did you know that?"

I laugh, "I talk to Sarah pretty regularly."

Victoria laughs, "Of course."

I look over at the clock and notice that we should be heading out. "Hey, I think we should get going."

Victoria takes a deep breath and nods her head.

I walk over to the door and grab her keys from the peg hook. "I'm driving, you're talking."

She sighs, "You drive a hard bargain Livia."

I roll my eyes and hook my arm through hers like we used to do when we were kids. We get to her car and she plugs the address into the GPS for me and we head off. I stay silent at first, waiting for her to start talking.

She's fiddling with her seatbelt and then she finally takes a breath and starts talking. "So you know I've been off birth control for a while because it kept messing with my period?" I nod my head and she continues, "Well, Matt and I have been having sex for about three months and we figured we were okay with just using condoms as long as we were careful. Well, we messed up once or twice but I always took the morning after pill. I guess we just weren't as careful as we should have been."

I bite my lip, I'm so happy I got that implant.

"And now I'm a week late and I've been feeling woozy and emotional and I took that pregnancy test and it came out positive and I don't know what the hell to think."

I reach over and grab her hand. I don't know what to say but my sisters and I have always held each other's hands in times of need because Mom always said that was a gesture that said what you didn't know how to say.

We drive silently the rest of the way and walk into the doctor's office. Victoria checks in and we continue to wait there. I decide to distract her so I pull my phone out to show her pictures from the girls night I had with Abby, Quinn, and Lauren and this seems to relax her a bit because by the time they call her name she is much less tense.

Although by the time we get into the exam room and the nurse does all the prerequisites and then takes a blood sample, Victoria is super nervous again and she is gripping my hand as if her life depends on it.

Now it's pretty much a waiting game. Any minute now the doctor is doing to walk into the exam room and tell Victoria that her life will never be the same so I attempt to make light conversation.

"Hey, how about you come to San Jose this weekend? We can just hide away at Fitz's all weekend and swim and hike and watch movies. It'll be glorious."

Victoria's eyes light up a bit, "That sounds amazing…oh no but it's your anniversary. I don't want to intrude. Plus I have a fashion show Saturday afternoon and then a party Saturday night…but I mean, if you and Fitz don't have any set plans then you could come?" She asks casually and that's her tell. She doesn't want to be a burden but I know she'd like someone here with her on the weekend. I mull it over in my head, honestly that does sound pretty fun, "Okay, we can ask Fitz this afternoon but I think he'll love that idea."

She lets out a huge sigh of relief and squeezes my hand, "Liv, I know I haven't always been the best sister to you or to Caroline but you've always been a great sister to me and I just want you to know how much I appreciate that."

I wrap my free arm around her shoulders and pull her close, "Hey, you've always been a good sister. I always knew you loved me even when you were being a tattle-tale."

Victoria laughs and I add, "Hey, see that, you were obviously born to be a mom."

She smiles and shakes her head, "I love you Olivia."

I bend down and kiss her cheek lightly, "I love you too Victoria."

Suddenly the doctor knocks on the door, jostling us from our little moment, and then enters the room. She has a file in her hand and she greets us pleasantly and introduces herself as she sits down.

She opens the file and looks straight at Victoria and calmly says, "Miss Pope, you're definitely pregnant."

I look over at Victoria; she looks like she's going to throw up.

The doctor stands up, "I can do an exam and we can see about how far along you are and we can discuss options, does that sound all right?"

Victoria nods and I just sit down on my chair and grip Victoria's hand as the doctor starts her exam.

A little while later Victoria and I are back in the car but we aren't moving. We are just sitting here because I think we are both in shock. The doctor determined that Victoria is about four or five weeks along and then discussed all the options with her.

Victoria is still silently crying and I know she doesn't want to discuss this any further at the moment; I'm not the only Pope who likes to internalize. I clear my throat and I make a suggestion, "Hey Vic, how about we grab lunch?"

She manages a smile through her tears and nods, "Yeah, I think that's a good idea. You want to call Fitz and invite him?"

I shake my head, "No, that's okay. I'm sure he can find something to do."

"No! Invite him. I want to get to know him a little more. I mean, after all I assume sooner rather than later the man is going to be my brother-in-law. I've got to find out how he's got you so head over heels for him. The man must have a superpower or something."

I can't help myself when I burst out laughing from her mention of 'superpower'.

She gives me a confused look.

I shake my head as I try to stop laughing, "I'm sorry, it's just…superpower."

Victoria shakes her head and starts to laugh, "Oh my god I totally forgot that 'superpower' is what you call Fitz's, ahem…oral skills."

I cover my face with my hand, "Yeah, he is extremely…um, adept…with his mouth. And the sex is mind blowing. Honestly, I can't imagine anything has ever felt this good."

I turn to look at her and she doesn't look like she's crying anymore, she's just shaking her head and grinning. "Want to head back to your apartment and then I'll call Fitz from there?"

She nods and so we set off.

We get to her apartment and right when we walk in the door my cell phone starts to ring and I smile when I see its Fitz.

"Hi." I say brightly when he picks up.

"Oh hi baby, I'm sorry you caught me off guard I thought you'd still be at the doctors office. How did everything go?"

Victoria is in the bathroom so I feel comfortable answering, "She's definitely pregnant."

Fitz is silent for a moment before he says, "How's she doing?"

I sigh, "Honestly I think she's still shocked. She is hungry though and she wanted to go to lunch. She also requested I invite you. I know you already ate but I think you would be a good distraction for her."

"Of course, I'm heading back to her apartment right now. Are you two ready to leave because I should be there in about five minutes and I can just pick you up?"

"Yeah, that's perfect. See you soon."

"Everything is going to be all right." He says soothingly, god even over the phone he can read me like a book.

I grin, "Hey, Fitzgerald?"

"Yes, _Olivia_?" He asks, in a teasing tone.

"I love you."

"I love you too sweet baby. Always."

And with that we both hang up the phone. Victoria walks out of the bathroom a minute later, "Hey Fitz should be here in a couple minutes so I told him we would go outside and wait for him, sound good?"

She smiles and nods. I see that she's fixed her make-up to purge any indication that she was crying from her face.

We head downstairs and after a moment I see Fitz's car pull up and Victoria's eyes open wide. "Holy shit he drives a Ferrari?!" She exclaims.

I laugh, "CEO of a global PR firm, remember?"

Victoria laughs and I hop into the tiny backseat of the Ferrari California so she can get into the front.

He drives us to a restaurant on the wharf and we all settle in for lunch. We eat and make small talk and I practically inhale two bowls of clam chowder.

The conversation takes a serious turn when Victoria starts to moan over a pamphlet the doctor gave her detailing what kinds of food are good and bad for the baby.

All of a sudden her head is in her hands over the table and she mutters, "Mom and Dad are going to kill me."

I bite my lip, I feel like I should just be honest with her at this point. "Well, I hate to say it but you're probably right about Dad. But he'll get over it. He's going to be so happy once he has a little grandbaby to love. And Mom, well she's been bugging you about settling down so you can give her some grandkids. She's not going to care about you not being married because she will be so thrilled that she's going to be a grandma."

Victoria smiles, "Thanks Liv. I hope you're right and at least if Mom's on board Dad will eventually come around."

"And hey, you being knocked up will totally soften the blow from when I tell them I'm dating a man eighteen years older than me." I joke.

Victoria laughs, "Well I'm so glad my misfortune is working in your favor."

I cock my head and give her my best pity pout, "Hey, I'm your little sister, that's how it's supposed to work."

Victoria laughs and I turn to look at Fitz, who has been oddly quite. I reach over and place my hand on his thigh, "You okay?" I ask quietly.

He forces a smile and puts an arm around my shoulders, "Sorry, I'm a little tired."

I squeeze his thigh lightly and he leans forward and kisses my cheek.

For the rest of our lunch he's perfectly sociable, he and Victoria talk about what I was like when I was a kid and I am thoroughly embarrassed. When we finish with lunch Victoria has decided to go into work for a few hours and Fitz and I decide to head home so we can get there by 2:30. We say our goodbyes and since Fitz kindly agreed to come back this weekend for Victoria's event, we promise her we will see her Friday afternoon. As we're walking down the stairs to Fitz's car I grab the keys out of his hand and I waltz toward the car.

"I'll drive since you're tired. You can nap."

He laughs, "You just want to drive my car."

I grin, "Well yeah, but I also don't want you to crash it if you're too tired to drive."

"Of course." He teases.

We get into the car and Fitz rests his head on the back of his seat and closes his eyes. I know he isn't sleeping but I decide to let him rest because he seems to be in an odd mood. I figure I'll let him relax until he opens his eyes again and then I'll ask him what's going on.

After about twenty minutes he opens his eyes and starts fiddling with his phone.

"Hey, what's going on?" I ask.

He sighs and puts his phone down, "I'm sorry Livvy. I'm just…I'm in a weird mood."

I glance over to him with skeptical eyes, "I know you're in a weird mood. That's why I'm asking."

He laughs, "Okay, hearing you and Victoria talk about the baby as a sort of imposition…it's hard for me to hear. And I know, we're at different stages in our lives and I'm not saying she should be thrilled about this, it's scary. She's young and single and she's right to be feeling everything she's feeling. I guess it's just hard for me to hear because I want to be a Dad. I want to be going through this with you and I know you aren't ready and that's okay, I promise I'm okay with that. It's just hard sometimes."

I bite my lip, "I'm sorry Fitz. I should have been more considerate of your feelings."

He shakes his head, "No, you shouldn't have. This is about Victoria, you need to be there for her in the way she needs you to and you did that. You are a great sister and I'm proud of the way you've handled this and been there for her. But I want to be a Dad Liv and I can't just shut that off."

I nod, "I know and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not ready."

Fitz laughs, "Livvy, we aren't even out as a couple, your parents don't know we're dating, you shouldn't be ready. It's not fair for me to expect you to be ready. We can't have a kid right now and logically I know that but even though my brain knows that," he pauses for a moment and puts his hand over his heart, "here I just want to be married to you and have a baby, fuck the logic."

I laugh and reach over to grab his hand, "Sometimes I just want to say fuck the logic too."

And for the rest of the car ride we sit in comfortable silence. I pull into the garage and as Fitz moves to get out of the car I grab his hand and stop him. "I think I've got some logic that's a little more fun." I say with a wicked grin.

He looks at me with a confused but slightly mischievous look on his face, "What did you have in mind Miss Pope?"

I unbuckle my seatbelt and manage to pull myself out of my seat and into Fitz's lap, "Well, if we had kids we probably wouldn't be able to make love in your car."

He's smiling profusely now, "Yes, that would be difficult to do if we had kids."

I lean forward and run my lips lightly against his, "Right…so since we don't have kids we can have hot, dirty, quickie sex in your car." I say as my hand makes its way down his chest and I start to undo his belt.

His hands start to run up my thighs and under my dress and I practically attack him with my lips. My hands start to roam through his hair and I can feel his fingers move closer and closer to the edges of my underwear and I can't help myself when I moan in anticipation.

I get his belt undone and manage his button and zipper as well and I reach my hand into his briefs and start to stroke him gently.

He doesn't even bother trying to get me out of my underwear; he simply lifts me up a bit and pushes my underwear to the side before pulling me close to him and letting my body sink down on his hard member.

I start to move my body up and down as I continue kissing him and I already am feeling close to the edge. His hands are gripping my sides, helping me keep on pace. His mouth makes its way down my jaw and to my earlobe and I grip his shoulders tightly as I squeeze my pelvic muscles. This makes Fitz groan and bite my earlobe and I start to speed up my pace and within minutes we both loose ourselves. I collapse against Fitz, my arms around his neck and our foreheads touching. We are both panting but have huge smiles on our faces.

Fitz runs his hands gently up my back and the around my shoulders until he is cupping my cheeks. He pulls me in for a long kiss and when we finally break apart I'm still grinning and so is he.

"You are spectacular Livvy."

I laugh, "I love you Fitz."

He kisses me lightly once again, "I love you more than anything sweet baby."

I lean in to kiss him once again and pepper small kisses along his cheek. "We should go inside." I say softly.

He nods, "How about we relax and then I make you some dinner?"

"Well I have some writing I need to do but otherwise that sounds wonderful. Oh, you know what would make it better?"

Fitz shakes his head, playing along with my game.

I lean forward and nip his earlobe lightly, "How about we do all of that but we do it naked? Another thing we couldn't do if we had kids."

He chuckles lightly, "You are a brilliant woman Olivia Pope, how did I get so lucky?"

I run my hand lightly down his cheek, "It's not luck, it's just you. You're wonderful. But come on Fitzgerald, let's go inside."

So I open the door and maneuver myself off his lap and out of the car. Fitz fixes his pants and then follows me out of the car.

He grabs my hand and we walk through the tunnel into the house and enter it in the foyer.

I head for the living room but Fitz pulls me back toward the stairs.

I shoot him a confused look and he laughs, "Oh no Miss Pope, you promised me some nakedness."

I laugh, "Well I was just going to strip down in the living room."

Fitz grins wickedly, "Well, I had some plans involving relaxing that I would like to do in bed."

I grin and pull myself close to him and tiptoe up to wrap my arms around his neck so I can kiss him. To my surprise he grabs my buttocks and lifts me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist. We continue to kiss as he carries me up the stairs.

When we get up into his bedroom I release my legs from around him and sort of stumble as I step back on the floor, making us both laugh.

Fitz starts to take off his suit and I just toss off my dress and underwear and crawl into the soft bedding while I wait for him.

He finishes and walks toward me—looking like a damn Greek god wearing absolutely nothing—and he bends down to kiss me and crawls onto the bed and over to me. He puts his each hand on the sides of my head and he sinks down and starts to kiss me.

After a little while he breaks away and starts to kiss down my jawline, then my neck, then down my chest and stomach until his mouth finds me exactly where I need him. I'm so relieved for a moment while his mouth makes me feel things I didn't know were possible to feel before I met him but then suddenly I find myself completely frustrated when his mouth starts moving down my thigh.

I lift my head up as much as I can and moan, "Fiiiitz."

He chuckles and just continues what he is doing, "Patience Livvy."

I groan and drop my head back onto the bed dramatically, which just makes him laugh harder.

He continues kissing down my thigh and calf, and then back up the other leg and my anticipation keeps growing because now I know where he's heading.

His mouth finds my center again finally and I almost explode right there. He uses his superpower and it doesn't take me long to completely loose it. He kisses his way back up my body and his lips find mine once again.

I run my hands down his muscular back and pause on his buttocks so I can press his hips closer to mine. I then reach around and find his hard member and guide him toward my entrance.

He reaches down and grabs ahold of my thigh, lifting it up slightly so I can wrap my leg around his and he eases himself into me.

Our sex is slow and easy, the kind of vanilla sex some would say is boring—but that's only because they obviously aren't doing it with the right person. I thought I knew a lot about sex when I met Fitz, but I was dead wrong. I feel like I'm continually learning new things with him—not necessarily new positions—just new reasons to enjoy it. Parents are always teaching you that sex is this big emotional commitment no matter who you do it with, but I never felt that until Fitz. It was honestly more like a good workout and stress reliever for me before I met Fitz. It wasn't emotional. Now it's completely emotional. Every time Fitz and I have sex I feel like I give him a piece of myself and he gives me a piece of himself. But I guess that's the difference between having sex and making love. I still hate how cheesy it sounds. But Fitz is right, we don't have sex, we make love.

I find my release and Fitz finds his soon after and collapses on me and we both drift off into slumber.

Around 4:30 Fitz's phone goes off and we both wake up. He answers it and hangs up a few moments later.

"Who was that?" I mutter, still waking up.

He yawns and stretches his arms, "Just Martha asking if I would mind squeezing in a client lunch tomorrow."

I yawn too, "Oh sounds fun."

Fitz laughs, "Not really."

He starts to get out of bed and heads into the closet. He comes back out a moment later in a pair of boxers and grabs my laptop from its place on his dresser and hands it to me."

"I am going to make us dinner and when I'm done I'll bring it up here for you to eat. Now start writing." He then bends down and gives me a soft kiss on the lips and then turns to head downstairs.

About forty-five minutes later Fitz comes up the stairs with a huge tray stacked with food. Grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, piles of assorted fruit, and a small dish of liquid chocolate over a candle like a little fondue pot.

I shut my laptop and put it on the bedside table and scoot closer to Fitz and the food. "This smells great Fitz. I love grilled cheese."

He kisses my temple, "Eat up, beautiful."

We eat our soup and sandwiches and start on our fruit for dessert and Fitz reaches into his nightstand to grab a lighter. He lights a small candle under the chocolate dish and then he stirs the chocolate around a few times.

I grin and pop a piece of pineapple into my mouth. It's sweet and delicious and I can't help but think that I'd love to eat it off Fitz's chest.

"So what's the chocolate for?" I ask teasingly.

He grins, "The chocolate is to dip the fruit in…and also so I can lick it off your gorgeous body—another thing we couldn't do if we had kids." He moves the dirty dishes to the floor and he sets the tray at the end of the bed.

I laugh, "I love that you're just running with this as a theme."

He grins, "What can I say Livvy, you're brilliant."

I grin and sit up so I can grab a couple pieces of pineapple. "Me first." I exclaim. I dip one piece in the chocolate to test it out and the chocolate already feels pretty warm. Fitz must have preheated it to make this quicker.

I push him back onto the bed and straddle his hips. I place a piece of chocolate dipped pineapple on his chest and I bend down and put my mouth around it. I take it in my mouth and kiss down his chest, the sweetness of the pineapple and chocolate making his already delicious body taste even better.

I grab another piece of pineapple and put it in my mouth and then I go in for a kiss. He kisses me deeply and his tongue makes its way around the pineapple. It's a glorious feeling, the juice from the pineapple making our kiss wet and sweet. I break away from Fitz and he swallows the pineapple and grins at me. "Okay, my turn."

He gently lays me on my back and grabs a strawberry from the tray and dunks it in chocolate. He then lets the chocolate drizzle all over my stomach and breasts and the feeling makes me all tingly.

A drop of chocolate falls to the while sheets as he holds the strawberry above my lips so I can take a bite. I chew it and swallow and then I say breathily, "We're going to stain your bedding."

He smiles, "Then we'll just throw it away." And I can't help myself when I start to grin. There are moments like these, moments when he's looking at me like I'm the only other person in the world, that I can't imagine how anyone could love a person more than I love Fitz. It just doesn't seem possible.

My eyes about roll back into my head as he bends down and goes to work on the chocolate drizzled on my stomach. He's taking his time as he slowly and steadily makes his way up my body. He kisses up my neck and then finally arrives at my mouth. I can taste the chocolate and strawberry in his mouth and it's kind of amazing. He breaks away from me after a minute and grabs a couple pieces of pineapple. He traces one around my lips and then feeds it to me gently. He dips the second one in chocolate again and pops it in his mouth before going in for another kiss. We just continue this foreplay for a little while until I realize that I am incredibly sticky from the chocolate and fruit juices.

"Hey, how about we move this into the shower?" I ask, running my hand down his now sticky chest.

He smiles and looks around at the mess we've made all over ourselves and the sheets; "Sounds like a plan. Let me go start the shower and grab some fresh towels."

He heads into the bathroom and I decide to clean up a bit out here. I get out of bed and realize we made a huge mess. There is chocolate and fruit juice everywhere. I strip the bed of the sheets and decide not to put them in the hamper because they are disgusting so I go downstairs to set them by the washing machine and after I head back upstairs I grab a pair of fresh sheets from the linen closet. When I head back into Fitz's room he's standing in the doorway. "You didn't have to do that." He says, bending down to kiss me lightly.

"Well we sure as hell weren't going to sleep on those sheets! I just set them on the washer. I didn't put them in because I figured the stains needed to be treated first. Honestly I think you need to start paying Sandy more because washing a grown man's chocolate stained sheets is probably not in her job description."

Fitz laughs as we walk into the bathroom, "You might be right about that."

We step into the steaming hot shower and Fitz grabs a hair tie that is sitting on a shampoo bottle and puts my hair up in a bun. I love it when he does that. His hands running over my scalp and through my hair feel so erotic. He then grabs my favorite honey body scrub and takes a scoop of it in his hand before lathering it over my shoulders and back.

I sigh as I close my eyes. I'm pretty sure this is paradise—the only thing that would make this better is if we were on a tropical island. He works his way all over my body until he finishes at my feet and I grab his body wash and return the favor. I love to just study his body sometimes. He's in great shape but not in a gross way, you know like how some guys have this disgusting bulging muscle? I never liked that. He's thin but in a way that's proportionate to his height but his shoulders are wide and muscular and I could honestly run my hands along them for days on end. After I've thoroughly cleansed him I stand up and put both of my hands around his bicep and I giggle.

He grins at me, "What are you laughing about?"

"My hands don't even touch each other when I place them around your bicep."

He laughs and shakes his head, "That's because you have very small fairy hands."

I release his arm and wrap my arms around his neck, "And because you're in great shape."

"Well so are you." He says, his hands going down to cup my waist in the same way I was just cupping his bicep.

He pulls back for a moment when he realizes his hands are only slightly not touching. "I think I need to start feeding you more."

I laugh and roll my eyes, "You saw Victoria, when you meet my parents you'll understand. Pope's are thin by nature."

He laughs and shakes his head as he pulls me in close to kiss me.

We finish showering—Fitz washes my hair and I wash his—and when we're finished Fitz wraps a fresh towel he's placed on the towel warmer over my body and I snuggle into it.

"I can't believe I never used a towel warmer before I met you. I hate showering at my apartment now because unless I put my towel over the heater beforehand. I can't stand stepping out into the cold."

Fitz laughs, "That is not safe you nut job."

I shrug, "It works."

He rolls his eyes and grabs his phone from off his vanity.

I narrow my eyes, "What are you doing?"

"Ordering you a towel warmer so you don't start your apartment on fire."

I burst out laughing and grab at his phone to try to take it away but he pulls it out of my reach. "Come on Fitz, don't do that."

"Will you stop warming your towel on your heater?"

I glare at him, "No."

He goes back to his phone, "Then I'm buying you a towel warmer."

I grab at his arm and try to pull his phone away from you again, "Come on Fitz. I'll buy one myself. Stop it."

He rolls his eyes, "Livvy, it's just a towel warmer."

I sigh and sit down on the lounge, "Yeah but I can buy it myself." I quiet my voice ever so slightly, "I don't want people to think I'm taking advantage."

He stops what he's doing and looks straight at me, "Hey silly girl, I know you're not taking advantage of me. And the only people who know about us are your best friends and I highly doubt they'd think that about you." He then bends down in front of me so we're eye level and he cups my chin so I'm looking straight at him, "And anyway, fuck what anyone else thinks."

I laugh, "Eloquently put Fitzgerald."

He shrugs, "I try."

Just then my phone starts ringing and I head out into the bedroom to see who's calling. I miss the call but I notice I have a few missed calls and a voicemail—all from Abby.

I listen to the message and she doesn't say anything is wrong but I can tell from her voice that she's upset about something.

I walk back into the bathroom, "Hey Fitz?"

He turns to face me, "Yeah?"

"Do you think we could spend the night at my apartment? I think something is up with Abby."

He frowns, "Yeah of course, is she okay?"

I sigh, "I'm not really sure, she sounds…off."

"Well, I could just drop you off if you think she needs some girl time?"

I smile, "No, it should be fine. Plus I hate sleeping without you."

Fitz grins, "Let me get some of my things together and I'll be ready in fifteen."

"Make it thirty, I have to dry my hair. And Fitz, thank you." I say kindly.

He smiles—that gorgeous smile that makes my knees go weak, "Always, Livvy."

About an hour later we arrive at my apartment and I find Abby mindlessly flipping through channels.

"Hey Abs, what's up?"

She looks over to me. "Liv!" She says, a huge smile appearing on her face. She then sees Fitz and it gets bigger, "Hey Fitz, crashing at our stately bungalow tonight?"

Fitz laughs, "Yep, it keeps me young."

Fitz heads into my room to put his bag down and I sit down next to Abby.

"Hey, you sounded weird on the phone, what's up?"

She sighs and fiddles with the blanket on the back of the sofa.

"Abby." I pry.

"I talked to Detective Larson today and she said they're probably going to plea bargain and end up dropping the charges to misdemeanor battery."

"What?" I accidentally yell. "Sorry." I say, lowering the volume of my voice and covering my mouth with my fingers.

She shrugs, "They said they don't have enough to make a case for felony battery."

"No, that can't be true. There's plenty of evidence. You're joking, right?"

Abby shakes her head, "Well, she said that they could make a case if you and Fitz testify…but I can't do that to you guys. If you testify then you will have to give background on why I came to his house and your entire relationship will be out in the open and I just can't do that to you guys."

I shake my head, "Are you kidding? Of course Fitz and I will testify. I don't care who knows about us if it means getting some justice for you. I'll answer any questions, I'll do anything, honestly Abby."

Abby smiles, "No Liv, it's okay. They'll broker a deal, it won't be a felony but he will get probation and it will still be on his record. That's good enough."

I stand up, "No, it's absolutely not good enough. This guy is going to get away with this and just do it to other women. He needs to be held accountable for what he did and I know Fitz will agree with me."

At that moment I hear a voice and turn my head to see that Fitz is standing in the doorway. "Liv is right Abby. Of course we're going to testify for you. You're more important than keeping our relationship a secret. We're going to be fine. You worry about you and we will deal with the rest."

Abby starts to laugh as she wipes the tears from her eyes, "Thank you Fitz. I'm glad you and Liv found each other. You're the only guy I've met who's ever deserved her."

I grab her hand lightly, "And you deserve someone like Fitz. Not like Mark."

She smiles, "So Fitz, do you have any cute friends?"

Fitz grins, "I could show you pictures?"

Abby laughs, "Thanks. I'm going to hold you to that once this is all over."

I squeeze her hand, "Seriously Abby. Call Detective Larson tomorrow and tell her Fitz and I are both testifying."

She nods and leans in to hug me, "Okay. Thank you Livia. You're the greatest friend I've ever had, you know that right?"

I smile as my eyes start to water just a little, "Same goes for you Abs. I love you. Now get some sleep."

She nods and we both get up and head to bed.

I grab Fitz's hand and lead him into the bedroom and turn around to face him. "So," I start out, "looks like we'll be telling my parents sooner rather than later."

He crosses his arms and gives me a small smile, "Are you okay with that?"

I sigh, "You know, I think I am. I'm ready to be out in the open. I'm ready to do this Fitz. I want to move forward."

"We're going to come under some scrutiny for starting a relationship while you've worked for me and I'm going to have to tell Cyrus about us."

I bite my lip, "Is this going to change his mind about hiring me?"

Fitz shakes his head, "Definitely not. I sent your writing to him long before we started seeing each other and he's far too impressed with you to not hire you simply because we're together. And anyway, his husband James used to work for him, so needless to say he will have more empathy than most for our situation."

I sigh in relief and sit down on my bed. "That's good." I pause for a moment, "Are you going to get in trouble?"

Fitz shakes his head, "I'm sure I'll be scrutinized by some of my employees for a while but GGC is a private company of which I am the sole owner. I don't answer to a board or to shareholders. I am the boss and while my employees may not respect my decisions, they do have to live with them. I like to think my employees like me well enough and anyway, even if they're angry with me I'm sure they will all get over it when they realize that I'm not some old pervert and you're not a fling but instead I'm really, truly in love with you."

I smile and extend my hand to motion him toward me. He steps forward and sits on my bed. He wraps an arm around me and places his other hand on my thigh.

I run my fingers along the stubble forming on his face, "I love you so much." I say as I kiss him lightly on the lips. "Oh and thank you for agreeing to visit Victoria this weekend. I don't know if you had any plans for us but I really appreciate you making my sister a priority."

He smiles and leans in so he can kiss me, "Family is always a priority and I had nothing planned I couldn't reschedule or relocate."

I grin, "Same with me."

Friday afternoon comes along and we've taken off work just a little early and are heading back into SF to spend the weekend with Victoria. Fitz has booked us hotel suites and spa packages at the Hotel Vitale and I'm incredibly excited.

I lean over and wrap my hands around his bicep and rest my head on his shoulder. "Thank you for everything you do for me and for my family."

Fitz smiles, "It's nothing Livvy." He says, shaking it off like usual.

But I won't let him get away with that, "No Fitz, it's not. It's everything. You are my sun and stars."

Fitz grins, "I'm not the sun Livvy, you are."

We arrive at the hotel and Victoria is there to meet us. She's incredibly excited about staying at the hotel. She practically jumps us when she sees us enter the hotel lobby.

"I am soooo excited!" She squeals. "I've always wanted to stay here but I've never had an excuse to. Fitz you are the _best_!"

I hug her, "So how did talking to Matt go?" I can't beat around the bush with this.

She sighs, "I think it went all right but I told him before he decided anything he needed to take a day or so and think about everything. I told him I'd be at the hotel through Sunday and he could call me or come up if he wanted. I guess we'll just have to see."

I bite my lip, "Well, how about we all head to dinner and distract you for tonight?"

She grins and loops her arm through mine, "Sounds perfect."

We have a great dinner, lots of wine-well, for Fitz and me-laughter, and plenty of embarrassing childhood stories. By the time Fitz and I make it back to our suite we are both fairly drunk and can't seem to keep our hands off each other—which is not exactly abnormal for us.

We had the luggage sent up earlier so we haven't had a chance to see the hotel room yet. Of course Fitz sprang for a gorgeous suite. We manage to let ourselves into the room and I'm suddenly sobered by the gorgeous panoramic view of the circular suite. The city lights illuminate the bay and everything looks absolutely stunning, the Bay Bridge, Alcatraz, Yerba Buena and Treasure Islands, and in the far off distance one of my favorite places on earth.

Fitz wraps his arms around me and kisses my ear lightly. "This view is so amazing Fitz."

"It is pretty incredible."

"You know what's ridiculous?"

He kisses my cheek, "What's that?"

"All of this beauty before us and all I can think about is Berkeley way out there in the distance."

I can feel him grin against my cheek, "Honestly? I thought that the minute I looked out the window too."

I reach backward and wrap my arms around his waist, "You think we could go to a football game this fall?"

"I'd like nothing better. Actually that's a lie, what I would like even more than that is to get you naked right now."

I can't help but laugh as Fitz slowly starts to peel off my dress and I find myself once again reeling from his glorious touch as he begins to make my body feel things I didn't know were possible until I met him.

Early the next morning my eyes flutter open and I awake to find Fitz draped over me. His arm is across my middle and his head is on my chest.

I look down at him and run my hand through his gorgeous hair. He looks youthful in his sleep and I can't help but think about what he was like as a little boy.

He yawns and his eyes flutter open. He looks at me and smiles. "Livvy," he says brightly, "good morning beautiful."

"Good morning handsome." I reply.

"And happy five month anniversary."

I grin, "Happiest five months of my life."

"Me too." He kisses me lightly and pulls back to study my face. He narrows his eyes in confusion as he looks at me, "What are you thinking about?"

I laugh, "What are you talking about?"

He grins and props himself up on his elbow next to me, "Come on, you're thinking about something. You've got that goofy look on your face."

I laugh and shake my head, "Fine! I was thinking about how adorable you look in your sleep and I was thinking about what you were like when you were little. _And_ I was thinking about how I need to ask Charlotte more about you when you were a kid. "

He smiles and rests his head on my chest; "I loved hearing all those stories about you from Victoria. You were more than a little bit of trouble."

I laugh and shake my head, "I wasn't trouble exactly…I just found ways to bend the rules."

Fitz bursts out laughing, "Like I said, _trouble_!"

I run my hand through his hair, "I bet you were just sweet all the time. Even as a high schooler. You know how every once in a while there's a super hot kid who is actually nice? That was you."

Fitz laughs and shakes his head so I continue, "Yeah, it was. You were the super popular kid who was really good at basketball and really smart and had the brooding artistic side but at the same time was genuinely nice to everyone. I bet you had friends in every circle."

Fitz just keeps laughing and I run my hand along his cheek, "Come on, I know you were like that. I was a huge nerd in high school and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I fell for someone like the douchy guys who ignored me!"

Fitz rolls his eyes, "I guess I was nice. I tried to be nice to everyone. And while I know for a fact that you're a _huge_ nerd, I also can't believe you were ever a loser."

"Fitz, high school was terrible for me. Huck was literally the only friend I had. I was the freak who came from Japan and liked science fiction, comic books, and new wave punk. Kids were not nice to me."

Fitz frowns, "How is that even possible? Not to sound shallow but you're gorgeous and I've seen your high school pictures, you were gorgeous back then too."

I sigh, "Nerdy wasn't cool yet. It didn't matter that I was pretty because I was that much of a freak. I remember I had a huge crush on this kid and I didn't think he even knew I existed. Then one day I happened to be in a corner of the library studying and he and a few of his friends sat down near me. Well, they couldn't see me but I could hear them and, well they started talking about girls and my name came up. They all thought I was hot but they were in agreement that I was too much of a weirdo for them to ever want to go out with. I remember just sitting there and waiting until they left and then I found Huck and cried. That was a particularly bad day."

Fitz scoots himself up and kisses my lips, "Well, if it makes you feel any better I love all your quirks. They make you unique and they make you so interesting and I wouldn't trade them for anything. And if I had known you in high school I wouldn't have cared if you were a loser. I'd have fallen for you anyway and I wouldn't have cared what anyone thought."

I smile, "Yeah, well you're like a million times better than all those guys combined. They were pathetic. You were never like them. I know you weren't. It got better after sophomore year because Victoria got really popular and so people who wanted to impress her started being nice to me. That made it a little better. Huck and I made a few friends but he was always my best friend."

I pause for a moment and sigh, "How do you think it went when she told Matt?"

Fitz shakes his head, "I don't know. I hope it went well though."

"It's kind of crazy to think that next year Victoria is going to be a Mom. My parents are going to be grandparents. I'm going to have a niece or a nephew."

Fitz smiles, "You will be such a fun Aunt. That kid will adore you."

I blush, "You're too nice to me. And well…that kid is going to be your niece or nephew too."

Fitz grins and pulls himself up my body to kiss me and I start to giggle.

He starts to kiss down my neck, "You know what might be nice? This kid is going to need a cousin to hang out with."

I start to laugh, "Oh yeah? Well I don't think Caroline is ready to have kids yet."

Fitz chuckles, "I love your sarcasm Miss Pope."

I sigh, "You have to give me a couple years Fitz. Then we can have babies."

He buries his head in my neck and I feel him nod, "I'm sorry. I know we just talked about this and I know we can't and that it makes you nervous when I talk about kids and that's not fair to you."

I reach up and run my hand through his hair, "No, don't apologize for wanting something. It still makes me a little nervous to hear you talk about wanting kids but honestly it's also flattering to hear you say you want kids with me. When you talk about kids I do still get nervous and I don't know when I'm going to get over that, but at the same time I'm also thinking, 'my god, this incredible man loves me so much. I am so lucky.' And I want kids with you Fitz, I really do, but I can't let myself want something and then have it not happen. We are so far away from that point. We still have to tell people about our relationship and first of all we have to tell my parents, which will be terrifying. But that's when all the judgment comes and we will have to learn to not work together anymore and everything is just…it's going to get complicated. It's so easy to say that we're going to get married and have babies when we're in this little bubble but someday very soon that bubble is going to burst and if god forbid this all ends…I just can't live the rest of my life thinking about all the things we didn't get to do. The wedding we never had, the babies we never had…it would be hard enough just losing you, just losing this." I motion between us, "I can't think about those things because I can't fully admit I want them yet. Because then if I lost them…I'd lose everything."

Fitz leans in and strokes my cheek gently. I take a deep breath as I prepare myself for him to protest, for him to say that he won't let any of that happen.

He kisses me lightly, "Okay."

I narrow my eyes and he just laughs, "You thought I was going to give you my typical romantic schpeel didn't you?"

I laugh, "Well, you _are_ a cheesy romantic."

He pretends to be offended but he can't hide the smile creeping up on his face, "All right, you may be right about that." He then gets serious. "I know that all those terrible things are a possibility but I promise you I will do everything in my power to make sure they never happen. I love you Livvy. Always."

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close to me so I can kiss him. He shifts his body over mine and I feel his glorious naked body connecting with mine. "I love waking up with you. I dread every morning I know I'll have to wake up alone."

He pulls away from me briefly, "I agree completely Livvy." And with that he starts to kiss his way down my body and I can't stop myself from moaning.

He makes his way down my body and his head finds its way between my legs. I close my eyes and I just sink into the moment and let him do his glorious work. His tongue is in the middle of working miracles when my phone starts to ring.

I let out an exasperated sigh and reach over to the bedside table to grab it and silence it. I see that it's Victoria but I silence it anyway and thankfully Fitz just continues what he's doing, totally unfazed.

I shut my eyes again but a moment later my phone goes off again. This time Fitz stops what he's doing and looks up at me.

I groan, "It's Victoria. I'm going to pick up but _please_ don't stop. I swear I'll be as quick as possible."

Fitz grins and goes right back to work as I answer the phone. "Hey Vic, can I call you back in ten..."I gasp, "or maybe twenty minutes?"

She bursts out laughing, "Oh my god did you answer the phone during sex? Sorry Liv, meet me downstairs for breakfast in forty-five minutes?"

"Great. Bye." I say hastily as I hang up the phone, shut it off, and toss it on the floor.

"Breakfast in forty-five minutes Fitz." I manage to stammer out right before my orgasm hits me and my whole body starts to shake.

When I open my eyes Fitz is above me and looks very satisfied with himself. "You all right there, Miss Pope?"

I laugh, "Never better."

He grins, "Good." And then he leans in to kiss me. Our bodies are practically melting together as he starts to kiss me, our lips and tongues fusing together like they're one. His hand makes its way down my body and comes to rest on my thigh. He caresses my skin gently and I moan when he moves my leg to the side and carefully positions his body in-between my legs and I can feel him hard against my pubic bone and that sends a wave of anticipation through my body.

We continue to kiss and our hands run wild over each other's bodies. My hands are settled on his strong shoulders when he reaches down to position himself at my entrance. I move my hands to his chest and push him away, confusing him.

"Let me turn around." I say.

He nods his head and he sits up and lets me turn around.

I pull a pillow down and place it under my hips. Fitz runs a hand down my back, making me tingle with anticipation. His hand reaches my bum and then it's between my legs. He inserts one finger inside me and I groan at the immense pleasure I am already feeling. He strokes me gently for a bit before removing his finger and replacing it with his hard member. I groan as he enters my tight body but at the same time it feels absolutely fantastic. He wraps an arm around my middle and starts to kiss my shoulder and neck.

I can barely focus on anything. This angle is driving me crazy and I know I'm not going to last very long.

I let out a scream when my orgasm hits me and after a few more thrusts Fitz is right there with me.

He collapses on top of me and we both just lie there panting for a little while until Fitz rolls off me and lies on his back on the bed.

I turn around and pull myself onto Fitz. I run my hand through his hair. "You always look so sexy after we make love."

He grins and leans in to kiss me. "You look sexy all the time."

"Hey Fitz?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah baby?"

"Will you promise me something?"

He looks confused but nods his head, "Anything."

"Will you promise me that I'm it for you?"

He narrows his eyes; "Why are you so insecure all of a sudden?"

I sigh, "Fitz."

He gently runs a hand through my hair, "For me it will always be you Livvy. Just you. I want only you for the rest of my life."

I just smile at him and lean in to kiss him.

He kisses me back and then pushes me away lightly so he can get out of bed, "That brings me to a little present I have for you."

I frown, "Wait no, I thought we weren't exchanging gifts until we got back to San Jose tomorrow night?"

"We are, this is less of a gift and more of a question." He says teasingly as he turns around and starts to rifle through his bag. I stare at his gorgeous, naked body and decide to prop myself up on my elbow and admire his form.

When he turns around he has a small black box in his hand and I take a big gulp as I scramble to sit upright and hastily pull the sheet around my body, I don't even know why. "Fitz, what are you doing?" I ask nervously.

He chuckles as he sits down on the edge of the bed, "Calm down sweet baby." He says, placing a hand on my arm.

I smile and nod and he continues speaking. "Livvy, I know we're moving a little fast and I know we have a lot to overcome, but I believe we'll get through it because when I'm with you I believe I can do anything. I believe, no, I _know_ we're better together because when I'm with you I'm happier than I've ever been. Livvy, I'd like it very much if you moved in with me," he says, opening the box to reveal a shiny new house key, "because I dread every night I have to go to sleep without you and every morning I won't wake up to see your face. So Livvy, please move in with me?"

I can't help myself when I start grinning like an idiot. "You want us to live together?"

He laughs and nods, "I do. I can't spend another morning without you Livvy. It truly pains my heart when you're not around. I never understood why my house never felt like a home and then you arrived and I understood. You walked in my door and I suddenly realized I felt alone with every person who wasn't you. I need you Olivia. You are everything to me."

I cover my mouth with my hand and slowly start to nod my head. "Yes, yes I would love to live with you Fitz."

He drops the key on the bed and he wraps his arms around me. I wrap my arms around his body also and hold on tightly to him. I bury my head in his neck and I can't help myself when I start to cry tears of joy.

I pull away from him abruptly, "I'm saying yes but I'm also stipulating that we need to tell my parents first."

Fitz nods, "I agree that is definitely the right thing to do. But knowing you said yes will tide me over for a while."

I grin and lean in to kiss him. "I love you, Fitz."

He strokes my cheek gently, "I love you, Livvy. Always."

With that we decide we need to get ready for breakfast so we aren't late for Victoria.

When we arrive at the restaurant I immediately see Victoria, who is grinning like a maniac. We head over to her and sit down and she's quietly laughing and shaking her head. "Did you two have a good morning?"

Fitz chuckles and leans over to kiss me. "It was spectacular."

Victoria laughs, "You guys are nauseatingly in love but I'm just going to stomach it because I really like seeing my little sister so happy."

"Hey um, Vic, did you hear from Matt?" I ask, a little nervous to hear the answer.

That is when, to my surprise, he walks over to the table carrying two plates of food and sits down. He puts one in front of Victoria and kisses her on the cheek and then turns toward Fitz and me.

He smiles, "Liv, its such a pleasure to finally meet you. Victoria talks about you all the time."

I smile, shaking off my shock, "Thanks Matt. It's nice to meet you too. And you'll be pleased to hear she talks about you all the time as well."

He then turns to Fitz and extends his hand. "Mr. Grant, it's an honor to meet you. You spoke at a lecture series at SJSU about five years ago and I attended. You're such an inspiration. The way you expanded your firm from a Northern California company to a global powerhouse at such an accelerated rate was nothing short of incredible."

Fitz looks a little surprised but extends his hand to shake Matt's. "Thank you, and call me Fitz. It's good to hear someone enjoyed that lecture."

"Matt, can you stop drooling over Fitz?" Victoria jokes and Matt turns bright red.

I look back and forth between them, "So…how are you guys doing?" I ask, trying to be casual.

Victoria looks over at Matt and then back at me, "We're…going to be okay. At least, we're going to try."

I look over at Matt, "You're going to be there for her?"

Victoria looks over at me, "Olivia!" She hisses.

Matt puts his hand gently on her arm, "No Victoria, its okay." He then turns to look to me, "I promise I'll be there for her Liv."

I look straight at him and analyze his expression and I slowly nod my head. "Okay. I believe you."

We eat breakfast and make small talk; it's good to get to know Matt a little bit. When we're finished Victoria asks me to go up to her room with her because she has a few sample dresses she wants me to choose from to wear to the fashion show and party tonight. We leave Matt and Fitz so they can talk. Matt is captivated by Fitz and honestly I think Fitz is loving the audience. Despite the fact that he always wanted to be a photojournalist, Fitz really does love his work.

We head up to her room and she hangs up three dresses—all of them gorgeous. "I showed my boss the picture of you in the last dress I gave you and she thinks you're like the most gorgeous thing on the planet so when I told her you were coming to the show she flipped and asked me to give you these to wear.

I look at her, guilt evident on my face and she starts to laugh. "Liv, don't look guilty. She thinks I'm gorgeous too. You just happen to be a size zero while I am a size two."

The gown I choose is absolutely stunning. It's a sea foam green, floor length gown but it's not quite that simple. It's got gorgeous sheer, large polka-dotted fabric all over with a solid sea foam green skirt and bandeau top underneath to make it appropriate to wear in public. Victoria has told me that it's one of a kind and I'm so excited to wear it tonight. But honestly, I'm even more excited for Fitz to see me in the dress. I'm dying to see how he reacts to it.

Later that afternoon we get ready for the fashion show and I've been careful to hide the dress so Fitz doesn't get a look before I put it on. I let him get ready first and then I lock myself in the bathroom so I can finish getting ready. I put on my make-up and curl my hair before pinning up into a faux-bob and making it tousled and sexy. I finally slip on the dress and a pair of nude peep-toe pumps to show off my French pedicured toes. I walk into the bedroom when I'm done and see Fitz lounging on a chair and reading through something on his phone.

"So, what do you think Mr. Grant?" I ask seductively.

He looks up at me and his eyes practically bulge out of his head. He jumps up and takes two quick strides over to me. He takes my hand in his own and twirls me around so he can get the full view of the dress. "God Livvy, you look absolutely stunning."

After he twirls me around he pulls me close to him like we're slow dancing but with no music. He kisses my ear softly and then sing-whispers, "Baby I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time, and maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you."

I giggle into his shoulder, "Is that our song now?" I tease.

He pulls back and runs a finger through one of my stray curls. "I think so. I also think that even though earlier we decided we probably shouldn't show too much affection for each other I probably won't be able to control myself while you're wearing that dress."

I laugh, "I don't care anymore. We're going to tell my parents in about a week and they don't know anyone here. It's going to be fine. We're going to be fine."

He smiles that beautiful smile of his and I practically melt in his arms, "In that case, let me escort you to the festivities Miss Pope?" He says, releasing me and then extending his hand for me to take.

I reach out and take his hand in mine, "I'd like nothing more Mr. Grant."

We go to the fashion show and then to the party and everything is going extremely well for everyone. The clothes were well received and Victoria and everyone at the brand is ecstatic. Meeting people in Victoria's world is always fun. There are always interesting people and Fitz and I are having a grand time just talking to all of these different people.

Fitz actually knows a few people here and while he chats with one of them I find myself in a conversation with Victoria and several male models. Suddenly I feel a hand grab my own and I turn to see Fitz. He has a pleasant smile on his face as he addresses the group, "Would you mind if I borrowed Olivia for a moment."

Victoria grins in a devilish way and waves us off while several of the guys seem sad I am leaving and tell me to make sure to come back and talk to them later.

Fitz pulls me out into a hallway and presses me up against a wall. He grabs my leg and starts to push the fabric up as he starts to kiss me.

I push him away and hold him at arms length for a moment. "Fitz is this because you're jealous of all those guys? You know I have no interest in any of them."

Fitz laughs and I release him so he can step forward and cup my face gently. "Livvy, all I've wanted to do since the moment I saw you in that dress is get you out of it."

I laugh, "So you didn't pick that moment because there were male models ogling me?"

He grins, "I did have a flash of jealousy but it passed because I know you're all mine. I just wanted to see the looks on the faces of those pretty boys when I dragged you away from them."

I burst out laughing and shake my head, "You're such a man."

"Isn't that why you love me?" He teases.

"One of the reasons." And with that his lips are on me again. My own hands find their way to his pants and I start to undo them.

He pushes back this time, "Whoa Livvy, don't start something we can't finish."

I glance to my right innocently, "I think we can finish it…right there on that table."

He glances over at the small table in the hallway and then looks around to see if there are any people around.

All of a sudden he picks me up and sets me down on the table. We both look around to see if there are any people around and when we see that the coast is clear I get to work on unfastening the rest of his pants and he hikes my skirt up. Once I've got his pants unbuttoned he kneels down and runs his hands up my legs to remove my underwear. He pulls my lacy thong down my legs and pockets it before standing back up so I can wrap my legs around him.

He pushes into me and our lips fuse together in a searing kiss.

He grabs my legs gently as he thrusts into me and everything is starting to feel extraordinary when all of a sudden our little bubble abruptly bursts.

I hear a voice echo down the hallway, it isn't coming from very close to us, but close enough to definitely be able to see exactly what we are doing.

"Well Fitzgerald, looks like you've finally moved on."

Fitz and I freeze and he sighs as he dejectedly rests his forehead against mine. "Hello, Mellie."


	35. Chapter 35

"_So we'll just let things take their course, and never be sorry."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Benediction from Flappers and Philosophers_

* * *

Fitz makes sure my skirt is covering me and he then steps back so I can adjust my skirt and slide off the table and so he can start to fasten his pants.

Mellie walks toward us and starts to laugh, "Fitz relax, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

Fitz growls and turns around, "What are you doing Mellie?"

Mellie's eyes open wide and she chuckles, "I think the better question is, what are _you_ doing?"

Fitz scowls, "What I'm doing is none of your business anymore. And what I meant is what are you doing _here_?"

Mellie smiles again but there's something frigid about it, "I'm here because I'm the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine and this happens to be a party for a clothing label." Mellie's gaze then turns to me and I cross my arms over my chest because I can almost feel the iciness radiating from her.

She eyes me up and down, "God you're stunning," she says, "No wonder Fitz was so protective of you when I kept asking if you wanted to do a Real Women article. I can't say I blame him for not wanting you to be eye candy for other men. He wanted to keep you all to himself."

"Mellie." Fitz says. His voice is calm in a terrifying way.

She looks back over to him, "Don't worry Fitz, you were kind enough to not broadcast my affair. I'll extend the same courtesy to you." She pauses and glances over at me and then back to Fitz, "I won't say anything about your little hallway tryst either."

I reach forward to grab his arm because I know her use of the word 'affair' has him fuming. Mellie raises her eyes at this. It's almost like she's surprised to see I have enough influence on Fitz to calm him down.

He looks back at me and I can tell he wants to rip into her but I shake my head and he sighs in understanding. He turns his attention back to Mellie and he takes a deep breath, "This isn't an _affair_ Mellie," he pronounces the word with an obvious disdain, "Olivia is my girlfriend and I'm in love with her."

Mellie looks almost shocked at this admission, like someone's just smacked her with a two by four. She must realize how floored she looks because she quickly shakes it off. Dear lord this woman is kind of terrifying. "Right. You love her." She says with a slight chuckle

She then looks over to me, "He loves you now but just wait a few years. The sex will stop, he'll throw himself into his work, and you'll be left wondering what the hell you did wrong."

"MELLIE." Fitz bellows, "You're out of line."

She closes her eyes for a moment and then opens them as she turns to look at Fitz, "I used to be married to you Fitz. I think I'm entitled to give your pretty young thing a little advice."

Everyone is silent for a moment until Mellie speaks again. "I'll keep your secret." She then turns to me, "Think about what I said Olivia. You're young, beautiful, and from what Cyrus tells me you're incredibly talented, you could have whatever or whomever you wanted. You deserve someone who is going to fight for you when the going gets tough." And with that she turns to walk away.

I can't even respond because I am so flabbergasted. I turn to Fitz and a part of me wants to laugh this off but the other part wants to curl up into a ball and start sobbing.

"Maybe we should find Victoria and tell her we're going back to the room. I think we should talk." Fitz says quietly.

The tension right now is so thick you could cut it with a knife and I decide I just can't deal with that right now, "You'd think we'd have learned our lesson after the Harrison incident. No more sex anywhere but our houses from now on." I say with a teasing smile.

I can feel Fitz's whole body relax as he laughs, "Agreed."

We both then fall silent, still a little baffled by what just happened.

"Back to the room?" I ask quietly.

Fitz nods his head and takes my hand in his. I follow him back into the party and we quickly find Victoria.

It's pretty late so Victoria isn't surprised when we tell her we're heading back up to the room. We head up to the room, an uncomfortable silence falling over us, and when we arrive I walk over to the enormous panoramic window and sit down on the love seat facing it.

Fitz sits down next to me and he reaches over to touch my knee. I know he's nervous because he's not trying to sit closer to me. I decide to show him I'm not upset with him by scooting over to him and snuggling into his side. He immediately eases up and wraps his arms around me and then rests his head on mine.

Finally Fitz starts to speak, "Livvy I…"

I interrupt him, "No, Fitz you don't need to say anything." I sit upright so I can look him in the eye. "It's fine that Mellie knows. I believe her when she says she's not going to tell anyone and even if she did I think it would take a while for my parents to find out. They don't exactly run in the same circles. I also know she was just trying to freak me out when she told me you would get bored with me. Our relationship is different than the one you two had. I believe that and I know you believe it too. I am not going to let her ruin our anniversary. We had a great night and I know you want us to talk things through but right now I think as long as we're both on the same page we don't need to discuss this to death and ruin what has been—apart from getting caught with our pants down again—a pretty amazing day." I pause and run my hand lightly along his thigh, "And I don't know about you but I think it can continue in that amazing Jacuzzi tub."

Fitz smiles, "You are truly the most wonderful person I've ever known. And I think you're right. Though if anything about what she said starts to get to you please tell me. I want us to be able to talk about everything."

I smile and run my hand through his hair, "I know I can talk to you about anything but I promise you I'm okay. If I decide I'm not though, I'll come to you. I promise. I'm not going to let her ruin what started out as an absolutely perfect anniversary."

He leans forward to kiss my forehead. "I love you Livvy. You…you promise you don't believe her?"

I sigh, "I promise I don't believe her. Really Fitz, now lets get out of these clothes and into a bath."

He grins, "Sounds great. But first I want to dance with you."

I narrow my eyes, "Fitz, we've danced quite a bit already tonight."

He flashes me a devilish grin, "Yeah, but I want to dance with you to a special song."

I purse my lips and cross my arms as he takes his phone out of his pocket, scrolls through his music and then smiles when he finds what he wants. He sets the phone down on the table and turns up the volume before he presses play.

He turns to me and I am still giving him a confused look until about a bar in when I suddenly realize what song is playing and I smile and step forward into Fitz's arms.

He wraps an arm around my waist and takes my hand with his other hand as John Legend starts to sing, _What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawin' me in and you kicking me out. You've got my head spinnin', no kiddin', I can't pin you down._

Fitz is just looking deep into my eyes. Like he can see through every façade I've ever put up. I don't want to hide in front of Fitz. Ever.

_What's goin' on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride. And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be all right. My head's underwater but I'm breathin' fine. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind._

Fitz then pulls me closer to him and I wrap my arms around his neck. Luckily I still have my heels on so that actually makes us the perfect height for this type of dancing.

The chorus comes on and I start to sing in his ear, "_'Cuz all of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning. Even when I lose I'm winning. 'Cuz I give you all of me and you give me all of you."_

I can feel the smile creep up on his face as I'm whispering the words into his ear and he turns and starts to kiss my cheek until his lips find my lips.

I pull back just a little so we can kiss comfortably for a moment and when I pull back to catch my breath I step forward again so I can rest my head on his shoulder and we dance slowly to the music together.

The song finally ends and we just keep dancing for a bit. "I wasn't sure you'd know that song." Fitz whispers in my ear.

I laugh, "Come on, who doesn't like John Legend?"

He chuckles, "To be fair, you almost exclusively like music—save for current Paul McCartney—that's at least twenty years old. Remember when you asked me who Bruno Mars was?"

I laugh, "Are you ever going to let that go?"

"Someday maybe."

I roll my eyes, "I love you Fitzgerald."

He nuzzles my neck, "I love you Olivia. Always."

A little while later we're sitting in the giant jacuzzi bathtub. Fitz is rubbing my foot and it feels glorious. We're not talking anymore about what happened with Mellie and honestly right now I'm thankful for that. I suddenly remember what Matt said earlier about Fitz lecturing at his school and I decide to ask him about it.

"I didn't know you used to guest lecture." I say casually.

Fitz smiles, "I did."

I purse my lips, "So, have you done lectures at many colleges?"

He laughs, "Uh, I used to. I haven't done one in about a year though."

I frown, "Why not?"

He shrugs, "Well, I had a very empty life before you came along so I had more time for things like that."

I purse my lips, "So you stopped doing that because of me?"

He cocks his head and leans forward to kiss the top of my foot, which makes me giggle. "I didn't stop because of you. I stopped because before I met you I was alone and I was looking for fulfillment and that was something that made me happy and made me feel like I was contributing. But then I met you and everything else dropped away and all I wanted was to be around you all the time."

I bite my lip, "Have you been invited to speak anywhere lately?"

"Well, it's summer, so no."

I roll my eyes, "Don't be an ass."

He laughs, "I have a standing invite to speak at Berkeley and one at SJSU and occasionally I'm asked to speak other places. I've even given a couple commencement addresses."

"Do you like giving lectures?"

He shrugs, "Yeah, it's actually been fun."

I smile, "I think you should do it next semester. And I want to hear you give a lecture."

He grins, "Would seeing me lecture a couple hundred students about business practices turn you on?"

I laugh, "Yes, definitely. I'll sit in the audience and listen to all the girls talk about how sexy you are and I'll chime in wickedly about how right they are but secretly be laughing to myself because only I know that you are mine and they will never get to have you."

Fitz chuckles and leans forward to grab my hand so he can pull me onto his lap. I giggle as the water sloshes over the edge of the tub and I glide through the water to him. He bends his knees so that I am sitting slightly higher in the water. He then wraps his arms around my torso and he starts to kiss my breasts.

I run my fingers through his hair and moan as his tongue encircles my nipple and my body starts to tingle.

"_Fiiitz_." I whisper breathily.

He switches his attention to my other breast and now I'm really starting to get aroused. His hands run up and down my back and find their way down my thighs until one sneaks in between my legs. His fingers start to gently stroke my center and along with his mouth I'm quickly floating to a place of total pleasure.

He starts to kiss up my neck and I bend my head down so our lips meet in a searing kiss. My hands cup his face and our tongues are dueling in a passionate kiss when he abruptly stands up and hoists me up with him. Although I'm a bit startled I manage to wrap my legs around his waist and I continue kissing him. He reaches out to grab a towel and walks us back into the bedroom. He throws the towel onto the bed and lies me down on it before positioning himself over me once again.

We're still fairly wet, luckily we haven't washed our hair yet or we'd have to ask for new sheets. I should be cold but Fitz's body over mine is keeping me warm.

We kiss for a while until he starts to move down my body until his head is between my legs. His talented mouth finds my center and I can't control myself when I scream out. Right now I don't even care that we are in a hotel with people around us because what he's doing feels so incredible.

I loose myself rather quickly and Fitz uses his equally talented fingers to help me ride out my high.

He then moves up the bed so that he's now lying next to me and he reaches over to me and turns me gently on my side so I can kiss him. I reach for him and wrap my leg around his so I can pull myself even closer to him. He then rotates us so I am now on top. I sit up and find his hard member with my hand and start to stroke it gently. He moans from the contact and I scoot back so I can lower myself onto him.

I sink down onto him and we both let out audible moans. He reaches forward to grab my hips and he helps me start moving my body. One of his hands moves to my chest and he runs it down the front of my body and groans, "Livvy, you're so beautiful."

I smile and start to move my body at a faster pace. It's funny, I used to be so embarrassed when he complimented my looks but now I just believe him. But I guess that's what comes from having complete trust in another person. I know that to Fitz, I am the most beautiful person in the world and he's the same to me.

I lean forward a little bit and place my hands on his chest so I can keep up my pace a before long we are both falling over the proverbial edge.

I collapse on his chest and I try to catch my breath and control my breathing.

We're naked and sweaty and wet as we lie tangled together on the bed. We're both breathing heavily and my head is resting on his strong chest. I'm so comfortable and content that there's no way I'll be moving anytime soon.

"I don't want to go back home." I mutter.

Fitz laughs, "Well lucky for you we can stay here until your spa appointment tomorrow at 11."

I chuckle, "Thank god. But…that's not what I meant."

Fitz squeezes my shoulder gently, "I know. I don't want to go back either."

"I don't want to go back to reality tomorrow. Besides the Mellie fiasco, tonight was so wonderful. We got to just be together and act like a couple and I loved every minute. I just want you and me and no judgments and no worrying about whether or not people can tell we're together. I want to talk about you to my Mom and I want to bring you to Thanksgiving and I want to brag about how wonderful you are to anyone who will listen. And I just want it to be you and me all the time. And I know we're almost there, but we have this huge hurdle of telling my parents to get over and I just want everything to work out and I have this sinking feeling that it won't."

Fitz pulls me up so we are eye to eye and gently tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, "I want that too and I know we'll get it. I promise we will get it. Telling your parents will be hard, I know it will, but no matter how they react I promise you're stuck with me. Then in a little over one month you will start working for the Pacific Times and then you can visit me at work and we are free to make out on the patio in front of whoever is there."

I can't help myself when I burst out laughing and Fitz continues speaking, "Therefore I am going to make a promise to you; I am going to spend Thanksgiving with you. I don't care where we go, LA, New York, hell we can go see your family in Zambia or South Africa if that's what you want, but you and I are spending Thanksgiving together."

I smile and burry my head in Fitz's gorgeous hair. "Please don't promise me things you can't be certain will happen."

He pushes me away and grabs my chin so that he can look me in the eyes. "It's going to happen. I'm not so much promising as I am telling. You and I are going to spend the holidays together. Christmas too, I'll promise it right here and now. I don't care if your Mom hates me or your Dad thinks you could do so much better or whatever. It's going to be you and me and that's final."

He looks so serious that I can't help but laugh. "I love you so much Fitz. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. I don't care if my parents hate you. I love you and that's enough."

He grins and leans in to kiss me, "I love you, Livvy." He whispers against my mouth.

We just lie there, kissing softly for a few minutes until I pull back, "Do you think Victoria and Matt are going to be okay?"

Fitz sighs, "I would like to think that. I certainly hope so for them and for their child."

"I can't believe my sister is going to have a baby. She'll have a tiny little human who cries and eats and poops and depends on her for everything. That is so…terrifying."

"She's going to be okay Livvy. She has Matt to help her and she has your parents and she has us. Anything she needs, we're here."

I lean in to place a quick peck on his lips, "You're very sweet." I say as I trace my fingers gently along his chest. "God I hope she has a girl. She wouldn't know what to do with a boy."

Fitz laughs, "Yeah, I think she'd definitely be more comfortable with a girl. But she'd probably have just as much fun dressing up a little boy in adorable little suits and stuff."

I shake my head, "Yeah, you're probably right." I pause and I stare, "I'm sorry this has been hard for you."

He frowns, "Liv, this isn't hard for me. I'm happy for your sister. I'll get my mini Livvy someday and I'm okay with waiting. I want you to be ready. You need to be ready. I couldn't bear it if you ever resented me."

"Mini Livvy?" I say, cringing at his choice of name.

He laughs, "Yeah, my beautiful little mini Livvy."

I roll my eyes, "You can't call our hypothetical child 'Livvy', that's my name and even if by some ridiculous twist of fate—and by that I mean me going insane—I allow you to name our daughter Olivia, you cannot call her Livvy. It would make me jealous."

He laughs and shakes his head, "I'll agree to that but only because hearing you use the phrase 'our daughter' was one of the best things I've ever heard."

I crane my neck so our lips meet and I kiss him lightly, "We need to go to bed Fitzgerald."

He looks over at the clock, it reads 2AM, "We should probably get this wet towel off the bed and put on some clothes so we don't freeze."

I nod, "Sounds like a plan."

Sunday goes by all too quickly and by 7 we are back at Fitz's house and I am exhausted but I want to give Fitz his gift before we go to bed.

We head up to his bedroom and get ready to go to sleep. I get ready quickly while Fitz takes a work call and as I finish in the bathroom Fitz walks in to start getting ready. I head to the closet and pull on a ludicrously expensive lace and chiffon slip I purchased just for tonight. It's basically see-through and extremely low cut and I know Fitz will love I slip on the beautiful robe Fitz bought me because I don't want him to see me just yet. He enters the closet and I tell him I need to grab something from downstairs and I'll be right back. I run downstairs and into the garage to pull the gift out of the trunk of my car where I left it on Thursday. I grab the wrapped package and smile as I run back upstairs.

I enter the bedroom just as Fitz walks out of the closet. "Hey handsome." I say, my eyes scanning his fit body. He's wearing a plain grey t-shirt and plaid Navy pajama pants.

He grins when he sees me. His eyes scan my body until they pause on the present I got for him and his eyes light up.

"You want to exchange gifts?" He says, his eyes twinkling.

I laugh, "Yes. Let's do this and get to sleep. I'm exhausted."

Fitz walks over to his dresser and grabs a small box from his top dresser drawer. It's a little blue box with satin white ribbon and I gulp because I know where it's from.

He hands me the box, "You first."

I take a deep breath and pull the soft ribbon and watch it unravel. I set the ribbon on the bed and open the little blue box.

I open it and I'm not surprised to find a ring box. I hold my breath as I pop the lid and I can't help myself when I gasp at its contents.

Inside is a beautiful ring. I'm thankful it's not an engagement ring but I'm still baffled by the beautiful ring in front of me. It's a rose gold ring with diamonds lining the thin band and then in the center is a beautiful pink stone.

I cover my mouth with my hand. I am once again in total shock courtesy of a gift he's given me.

He crane's his neck downward so as to look at me, "Do you like it?" He asks, his voice hesitant as if he's afraid I hate the ring.

I shake my head, "It's beautiful." I whisper.

He smiles, "It's a pink tourmaline. I know how much you like rose gold. This just seemed like the perfect thing for you…am I wrong?" I know he's confused by my facial expression.

"No." I stutter out, "It's stunning. It's perfect. It's…too much."

Fitz chuckles, "When will I ever have to stop telling you that nothing is too much for you? And if you think this is too much you should have seen the engagement rings I was looking at."

My eyes dart up to meet his in disbelief and he laughs. "Don't worry, I didn't buy one. Yet." He says with a devious grin. "Now put it on. I want to see how it looks on you."

Fitz takes the box from my hand and removes the ring. He then takes my right hand and slides the ring onto my ring finger.

"It fits." He says triumphantly.

I hold my hand out in front of me and study the ring on my hand. It looks gorgeous. The rose gold and pink tourmaline stands out in a lovely way against the backdrop of my dark skin. The ring is just the right size for my small hands. It must have cost him a few thousand dollars. I laugh inwardly because looking at this my piece of $350 lingerie seems cheap. I turn my hand around so he can see how the ring looks on me. He grins and takes my hand in his own, stroking the back of my hand.

"It looks like it was made for you."

I smile and wrap my arms around him. "Thank you Fitz. It's lovely. I'm going to wear it every day."

He turns to kiss the side of my head and then after a moment he pulls back. "Now what did you get me?"

I laugh, his eyes are alight with childish glee and he looks adorable. I reach down to grab the box I've set on the bed and I hold it in front of him. Before I let him take it I warn him, "Now this isn't anything fancy so I hope you like it."

He leans forward and takes my face in his hands, "It's from you, I'm going to love it even if it's socks."

I laugh, but only because I know he's being sincere.

He removes his hands from my face and takes the box from me. He sits on the bed and opens it slowly, carefully removing the wrapping paper.

I sit down next to him and watch intently as he opens the box and pulls out a picture book.

He opens it and he's obviously shocked by what's in the book.

He flips through a few pages and then he looks up at me. "Did you make this for me?"

I nod my head, "I got to see all those pictures of you from when you were growing up and you had asked to see my pictures. I asked my grandma to send me pictures and she ended up doing more than that. She sent me pictures and she added stories to go with them so I put them all in the book." He's not speaking and it's making me a little nervous. "Do you…do you like it?" I ask quietly.

He turns to me and abruptly grabs my face in his hands and kisses me fiercely. "Livvy…this is the best present I've ever received. I love it so much. Thank you."

I start to laugh because I'm so relieved he likes it. "I'm glad you like it because I sort of got you a back-up gift.

He looks at me, totally confused, "How could you not think I'd love that Livvy?"

I shrug, "I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at first but I just got self-conscious about it and came up with a back-up plan." I say, as I seductively run my hand down my chest and start to untie my robe. I let it fall to my sides so Fitz can see what I'm wearing underneath.

He groans, "Believe me when I say Livvy, that photo book would have been more than enough. It means the world to me. But this lingerie…god I want you."

"Then take me to bed Mr. Grant. I'm all yours."

He grins as he gets up and sets the boxes on his dresser. He then comes back to the bed and picks me up off of it just so he can toss me back onto it.

I giggle and dispose of my robe as Fitz turns the light off before pouncing on me and making me giggle even harder. "I love you more than anything Olivia Pope."

"And I you Fitzgerald Grant."

And with that his lips close on mine and soon I find myself lost in him once again.

Monday morning rolls around far too soon and I'm in a bit of a sour mood from having to be back in our bubble of secrecy.

By midmorning I'm daydreaming at my desk, staring at my stunning ring, and I'm pleasantly surprised when Fitz walks into my office.

"Hey sweet baby." He says kindly and he walks over behind my chair and starts to massage my shoulders.

"You look stressed, what's going on in that head of yours?" He asks.

I sigh at how wonderful his hands feel on mine, "I'm just thinking about the weekend. And I'm thinking about the best way to tell my parents."

Fitz sighs, "Whatever you decide Livvy, I'm on board."

I smile to myself and lean back so I can look up at him.

He smiles down at me and then runs his hands softly along my temples.

"I'm definitely pulling the wimp route and telling them after Victoria tells them about the baby. My Dad is going to be livid about that so maybe he won't be quite as mad about us."

Fitz chuckles quietly, "Okay, do you want me to be with you when you tell them?"

I bite my lip, "I was actually thinking that since we're going down for that LA event maybe you could meet them first because I know they'll like you and then after they've already decided to like you I'll tell them we're dating. We're going to need to wait a bit to tell them I'm going to move in with you."

Fitz is quiet for a moment before he nods, "I think that's a good plan. Do you think they'll be upset about us living together if we're not married?"

I shake my head, "No, it's not that. It's just that my Mom will be really bummed that she missed the first part of our relationship and I'll just need to talk to her and let her think she's helping me make the decision to move in with you."

Fitz laughs, "All right, I don't get it but I'm not sure I want to."

I laugh too, "Yeah, you don't. It's a Maya Pope quirk."

He grins wildly, "You know, you moving in means the house belongs to you too. Is there anything you hate about the house? I'm happy to change anything you don't like."

I roll my eyes, "Fitz, your house is wonderful. Nothing needs to be changed."

He stares at me, his face in a slight pout until I see a light bulb go off in his head.

"Get used to saying _our_ house and how about we convert one of the spare rooms into an office for you?"

"Like one of the spare bedrooms?" I ask, confused as to what spare rooms he's referring.

He laughs, "No, those are for our future children, actually you know the room where I store my old files next to my office?"

I nod but I'm still confused.

"It's not a storage room. It's actually another office. I just never needed it until now. I can easily move those old files to one of the actual storage rooms downstairs."

I think about it for a minute. Part of me wants to protest but the other part of me absolutely loves the idea. I decide to let my happy side win today and I start to nod my head, "Okay, I like that idea."

He's glowing with happiness and he pulls me up to kiss him. "Perfect. That's just…it's perfect."

Unfortunately that's when his phone rings and he looks at me apologetically as he walks back into his office.

The rest of the day goes by painfully slowly and we decide to get carry out Indian food and head home. Almost the minute we walk in the door I get a phone call and see that it's my little sister. "Caroline," I say and Fitz nods and points toward the kitchen counter indicating he's going to get the food ready.

I answer the phone,"Hey Car!" I say brightly. I'm always happy to hear from my little sister.

"Liv! I got a job!" Caroline squeals in to the phone, resulting in me having to pull it away from my ear.

"Oh my god Caroline, congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"

I hear my Mom squealing in the background and Caroline starts to laugh. Suddenly the phone gets transferred and my Dad is now on the line.

"Sorry Ace, your Mom and sister are having a little too much fun celebrating."

I laugh, "I figured. I'm so happy for Caroline though. She's going to be great."

"I think so too Ace. I know you saying that means a lot to her."

"She's the best Dad. She's going to be wildly successful."

"She uh, she said the reason she got the job was because of a reference made by Fitzgerald Grant, that's your boss, isn't it?"

I bite my lip, "Um, yeah it is, I mentioned a few places where Caroline was going to apply. He said he knew someone at McCoy; he must have made a call. I didn't know he was going to."

My Dad is silent for a moment and I'm nervous as to how he's going to respond.

"He must think you're a great employee to do something like that for your sister. This really has been a wonderful first job for you Ace. If he can get Caroline a job like that his name on your resume will probably boost your appeal as well."

I sigh as I watch him as he gets the food and table ready, "Yeah, he's really well connected and he's a really wonderful person."

"It's good you like him so much, a bad boss can really ruin a job for you."

I laugh, "Fitz is a spectacular person Dad. I've never met anyone with as good of a heart as he has."

"Spectacular? Wow Ace, if I didn't know you better I'd say you had a crush on this boss."

I freeze and my Dad continues talking, "But I know you secretly still like that boyfriend of yours."

I sigh and roll my eyes, "Yeah, Dad, I'm sure you're right, I'm obviously too proud to admit it." I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm my Dad obviously doesn't pick up on. I'd really like to blurt out how wrong he is. I'd like to say that I don't just like Fitz, I'm in love with him and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. But obviously I can't say that out loud to my father.

He laughs, "Well, thank him for me. I do hope I get to meet him soon and thank him myself."

I take a deep breath and prepare myself to dive into the deep end, "Actually Dad, next week we have an event in LA. I don't know how much free time we're going to have but I'd love it if we could find some way for at least you and Mom to meet Fitz."

"That would be great Ace. You figure out your schedule and let me know. Your Mom and I would be thrilled to meet the man who's responsible for employing two out of our three children." He starts laughing uproariously.

I roll my eyes but laugh too. My Dad can be tough and stubborn but I do love him very much.

"Okay Ace, I should get going before your mother and sister drink all of the liquor in the house."

I laugh, "All right Dad. I love you and tell Mom and Caroline I love them too."

"Of course kiddo. I love you."

"Bye Daddy." And with that I hang up the phone and make my way toward Fitz who has the table set and has even lit two candles and put a flower in the center.

I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around him. "Thank you for what you did for Caroline. It means so much to her, and to my family, and to me."

He turns around, wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. "I told you I would do anything for you Livvy. When will you start to believe me?"

I kiss his chest softly, "I believe you. I believe you." I whisper.

He tightens his arms before he lets go and I sigh at the loss of contact.

"Time to eat before everything gets cold."

And with that we sit down and begin our dinner.


	36. Chapter 36

"_Then I grew up, and the beauty of succulent illusions fell away from me." _

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned_

* * *

Tuesday night I am lounging in Fitz's living room while he cooks dinner. Not going to lie, I could really get used to this and Fitz enjoys cooking so it's guilt free enjoyment for me. I hear a buzzing sound and notice that Fitz's phone is ringing. "Hey Fitz, your phone is ringing." I call from my spot on the sofa.

"Who is it?" He asks, not even looking up from whatever he's doing in the kitchen.

I check the caller ID, "It says Grace Aviation", I say with more than a little confusion evident in my voice.

"Oh, can you answer it?" He exclaims as he attempts to pause what he's doing.

"Um, sure." I say, unsure of myself.

"Hello?" I answer cautiously.

"Hi," the voice at the other end says, clearly not expecting to hear my voice.

I get up and walk toward Fitz and the man continues speaking, "This is Fitz Grant's phone, isn't it?"

I smile, "Yes, sorry. Fitz is here, he's just finishing something."

It's then that Fitz wipes off his hands and grabs the phone from me. "John! Thanks for calling me back."

I can't hear what this man, apparently named John, is saying so I just listen intently to Fitz.

"You got the flight plan I sent you? Perfect. Will that work for Wednesday? Wonderful. The Stearman. Yeah two of us. Thanks so much buddy."

Fitz hangs up the phone and I purse my lips, my brow furrowed.

Fitz looks at me and laughs, "So that was my friend John. He owns the airplane hangar where I keep my planes."

My eyes light up, "Plane_s_…as in plural?"

He flashes a teasing grin, "You know I have planes."

I roll my eyes, "I knew you had _a_ plane. I wasn't aware you had more than one."

He laughs, "Well I do own one plane, plus several other planes." He says as he grins cheekily and I roll my eyes. He continues, "And on Friday I'm going to take you for a flight in my stearman biplane."

I squeal and jump over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You are my favorite person on earth."

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close, "I love you so much, beautiful."

I pull back, "You don't happen to have a decommissioned F-14, do you?"

He laughs, "Using me for my planes now, are you?"

I shrug, "Well I obviously don't date you for your looks."

He laughs and shakes his head, pretending to be offended, "You wound me, Livvy."

I wrap my arms his neck and pull his head down so I can kiss him, "You know you're the most beautiful person in the world to me, don't you?"

He nods and rests his forehead on mine, "And you to me."

I lean up to kiss him one more time, "Now, you never answered me about that plane?"

He laughs, "I don't have an F-14. The US military shreds their aircraft once they are decommissioned. Can't risk it getting into the hands of enemies. I may be able to get you a ride in an F-18 though."

I frown, "You wouldn't be flying it?"

He shakes his head, "No, I'm not qualified anymore."

I purse my lips, "I suppose it's hard to stay qualified once you're out of the Navy."

He nods, "Yes and although flying other planes isn't quite as fun, they're still enjoyable."

"Well, I've never been up in a biplane. I'm excited." I say, breaking away from him and jumping around like a kid on Christmas.

He laughs, "Good, I like it when I'm your first something."

I grin, "Me too."

After an early night I wake up the next morning and find Fitz still asleep next to me. It's still early and we don't have to be up for quite a while. I consider waking him up but he looks so peaceful I just don't have the heart. Since I don't want to wake Fitz up I slide out of bed as quietly as possible and manage to put on my workout clothes and running shoes and slip out of the house without so much as stirring Fitz from his sleep.

It's already a lovely morning. I probably don't need the jacket I'm wearing so I take it off and throw it over a chair by the pool. I sit and stare at the hills as I stretch. If one year ago today someone had told me I'd be madly in love with, not to mention practically living with, a rich older man who happens to be my boss—I'd have laughed in your face. This is not at all the direction I intended my life to take but nonetheless I find that I am happier than I've ever been.

I finish my stretches, set my ipod to a combination of Seinabo Sey, Iggy Azalea, and Lolawolf, and I take off running on one of the trails Fitz and I have walked many times.

It feels good to run. Fitz and I usually hike or swim so running makes for a nice change. I get to the top of the hill and I pause to take a breather and look at the beautiful scenery. I smile as I see Fitz's house in the distance. House, I scoff, more like a mansion. I remember the first time I ever saw the house this way and for a moment I'm taken aback at how far we've come in such a short time.

I shake the feeling off, run back to the house and head straight for the shower. I walk through Fitz's bedroom and I smile when I see that he's still asleep.

I strip out of my clothes, simply depositing them on the floor along my path to the shower. I turn the shower on and let it steam up before I jump inside.

I've just washed my hair when the door opens and Fitz steps in behind me. His hands run up and down my body and he pulls me close. I sink back into him and I sigh. This is one of my favorite feelings in the world.

He starts to kiss my neck and the water combined with his lips is making me ticklish. I reach my hand back and run it through his hair. God I love his hair.

"Good morning, gorgeous." He says breathily into my ear.

"Good morning." I say back, a devious grin on my face.

"Did you run this morning?"

I nod, "Yeah, I woke up early and thought I'd go for a run."

"You should have woken me up." He says, as his hand finds my breast, making me gasp. "I would have come with you."

I take a deep breath, "It was so early and you looked so peaceful. I didn't have the heart to wake you."

His teeth find my ear and he bites down gently and then sucks gently on my earlobe and for a moment I'm transported to another place…until I realize if we keep this up we are going to be late for work.

I step forward and Fitz groans. I stifle a laugh, "Sorry flyboy, we don't want to be late for work do we?"

I turn around and he's grinning, "Flyboy?" He asks.

I shrug, "You're my flyboy. It's funny, when I was a kid growing up on base I secretly always wanted to one day marry one of those flyboys."

Fitz pulls me close to him and his lips find my ear once again, "Well, it would be my honor to make one of your childhood fantasies come true."

I giggle, "Someday."

His lips and tongue are teasing my neck and I sigh, "Well, maybe we could be a little late to work."

I can feel Fitz grin against my neck as he makes his way down my body and I start to lose myself in my favorite way.

We finish up in the shower and head to work in our usual routine—Fitz first with me following. It's a fairly uneventful day and by late afternoon I decide to go find Lauren and take a break.

We get some ice cream and make our way outside to the patio to chat. After about ten minutes we see Amanda walking toward us.

I sigh, "Oh god, she's walking toward us rather swiftly. I bet she has gossip."

Lauren laughs, "Oh yeah, she looks like she's about to explode."

We both laugh and Amanda makes her way over to us and sits down.

"Oh my gosh, I have the _biggest_ piece of gossip for you guys!" She exclaims.

I have an ice cream cone in my hand and I decide to partially tune out Amanda and focus on my delicious treat.

"So what's the gossip?" Lauren asks as she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. She looks positively uninterested but Amanda either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

Amanda leans forward, "I heard that Fitz has a girlfriend."

I freeze on the spot and luckily Lauren doesn't miss a beat and swoops in to save my ass, "So, what's the big deal?"

Amanda looks to her as if she's crazy, "Apparently she's _young_."

I try to eat my ice cream casually but I'm panicking on the inside.

"How do you even know that, Amanda?" Lauren asks, looking skeptical. I'm glad one of us is able to remain calm right now.

"Apparently Jim's roommate saw them out in Santa Cruz. He had met Fitz at one of our events and that's how he knew what he looked like. He didn't get a good glimpse at the girl though. He just said she was young and black." With that Amanda shoots a glance at me and thankfully I've managed to compose myself.

"What?" I ask casually.

She rolls her eyes, "Is it you, Liv?"

I roll my eyes, "He's our boss. You really think I'm dumb enough to jeopardize my job?" I am shockingly cool and collected on the outside but on the inside I'm panicking. Yes, I am definitely dumb enough to jeopardize this job and Fitz is one hundred percent worth the risk.

She bites her lip as if contemplating what I've said but after a moment she shrugs, "I wouldn't blame you if you were dating him. I mean, come on, the man is smoking hot."

I just smile and shake my head, "I prefer inner qualities to outer qualities."

Amanda rolls her eyes, "Oh, come on Liv! You spend more time with him than anyone and I've never heard you speak a word against him. You know he's got good inner qualities."

I shrug, proud of myself for staying this calm, "But he's our boss."

She sighs and I pray she's not going to go on with this any longer. Sadly about twenty seconds later she opens her mouth, "Well, if you're not dating him you still spend more time with Fitz than anyone else so you'd probably know if he was dating someone or at least if he's being secretive about something."

I purse my lips, "If I did know anything about Fitz's dating life I wouldn't tell _you_ anything." I snap. "He deserves some privacy."

Lauren thankfully comes to my aid before I snap. "Liv's right. Fitz is a great boss and he deserves to have his privacy respected. I'm sure he'd never get engaged or anything without telling the company but right now just leave him alone. Let him be happy."

"He _is_ happy." Amanda says with exasperation. "That's my point. Usually when we work with his ex-wife he's grumpy but that hasn't happened. He obviously has someone in his life."

Lauren shrugs, "He'll tell us when he's ready. Just drop it Amanda."

She stares at Lauren for a minute and then slumps back in her chair in exasperation. "I guess you're right."

Lauren rolls her eyes, "I _am_ right. Give it a rest."

Amanda sighs, "All right, all right."

I sigh in relief when she gets up and walks away. Lauren immediately turns to me, "Your office. Now."

I nod and we both get up and walk swiftly to my office. We enter my office and Lauren locks the door. She then goes to the door between Fitz and my office and locks that one too.

She turns to face me, "You know her. She's not going to let this go."

I sigh; sink down into my chair and moan, "Just when everything was going so well."

Lauren sits down and leans forward, putting her elbows on her knees so she can prop up her head. "I'll try to keep track of the gossip but I can't promise I can help."

I groan, "Fitz and I are planning on telling my parents next week. It just has to stay a secret until then."

Lauren sighs in relief, "Oh, I can do that!"

Just then we hear a thump at the door followed by Fitz muttering, 'Fuck. Oww.'

Lauren looks at me and we both burst out laughing. Lauren gets up and opens the door and Fitz is standing there rubbing his elbow.

"Sorry boss, we needed some private time." Lauren says, shooting Fitz and apologetic look.

Fitz nods, "I see," he says as he looks from me to Lauren. "What's going on? You two look odd."

I laugh as I say sarcastically, "Well, thanks a lot honey."

Lauren laughs, "I'm just going to leave you two lovebirds alone. I've got work to do."

"Yes, get to work." Fitz says in a mock serious tone.

Lauren smiles and turns to me before leaving, "Text me later."

I smile and nod, "Definitely."

She leaves and shuts the door behind her and Fitz steps around my desk and pulls me up out of my chair.

"So what's going on Miss Pope?" He says, wrapping his arms around me.

I sink into him and sigh against his chest. I'm so comfortable like this and it's so easy to just forget we're in the office.

I wrap my arms around his body, snaking them inside his suit jacket and holding onto him tightly.

"Livvy," he says, "talk to me."

I sigh, "Amanda is spreading gossip around the office that you're dating someone." I pull back so I can see his expression. He looks like he's contemplating so I continue. "Jim's roommate apparently saw us out in Santa Cruz. No one knows it's me, because he doesn't know me and apparently didn't get a good look at me anyway, but he did see that you were with a young black woman."

Fitz nods, "So we have to hide out for a week or two. After that we can tell everyone. It's going to be all right Livvy."

I sigh, "I hope you're right."

He doesn't say anything, he just rubs my back soothingly and for now that's enough.

Later that night we're at Fitz's house, it's only 9:00 but Fitz has already fallen asleep. He's been a little stressed so I gave him a cup of sleepytime tea and put him to bed. I am sitting next to him and I stroke his curls. He's so beautiful even when he sleeps. I brush a rogue curl away from his forehead and I smile to myself, I hope our future children get his curls instead of mine.

I decide to wander around the house. I'm not tired yet and I don't want to risk waking Fitz up. I didn't realize until a couple months ago how large Fitz's house actually is, you could get lost in the house and the grounds. It's almost like it's own little world. I grab a book and decide to go downstairs to the playroom Fitz claims he built for his nieces and nephews but I know he secretly built it for his future children.

It's a large room and would be any child's dream. There's a "treehouse" inside the room. It's this kind of foam tree you can climb up into. There's a little nook on the inside of the "treehouse" and it has a bunch of pillows and acts as a sort of reading nook. I climb up and settle in with my book.

I accidentally fall asleep in the reading nook and I'm startled at three in the morning when I hear a frantic Fitz calling my name. I sit up and see him through a small window and I call his name, "Fitz?"

He hears me and looks toward the ship and sighs in relief when he sees my face in the window.

He makes his way up "tree" and he crawls into the nook and moves to sit next to me so he can pull me close. "Oh god Olivia, you scared the crap out of me."

I wrap my hands around his body and I pull myself closer to him. "I'm so sorry Fitz, I didn't intend to fall asleep here. I started reading and I just drifted off. It's surprisingly comfortable here."

Fitz chuckles, "I thought you'd gone home at first and then I saw all your things still strewn about the closet. Then I went downstairs and saw your keys on the hook and I started panicking. My head went to the worst places.

I nuzzle into his chest, "I'm so sorry, I hate to think I made you feel that way."

He shakes his head, "No, it's all right Livvy, everything's fine. I just overreacted."

I grin, "Well, it's just more proof that you're going to be the best Dad ever."

He starts to kiss my neck, "You flatter me Miss Pope."

I giggle as his lips tickle my neck; "It's not flattery if it's true."

He shakes his head, "Can we go to bed now? I hate sleeping without you."

I grin, "Hate is a strong word Fitzgerald."

He laughs, "I know, but it's how I feel."

I stand up, "All right Fitzy, let's get to bed."

The next day at work goes by quickly and I talk to Victoria at lunch. We've decided that I'm going to invite Mom and Dad to the gala GGC is hosting in LA today and then she's going to tell them about her pregnancy on Friday. She's hoping they will be happy about seeing me and it will soften the blow.

I'm actually really excited as I dial the phone to call my Dad. I haven't been home in a while and as excited as I am to go home, I'm even more excited that my parents and sister are going to get to come to the event GGC is hosting. They will get to see me at my job and they will get to meet Fitz.

My Dad answers after two rings, "Olive!" He says happily. He, like Mom, can't seem to shake the childhood nicknames my sisters and I quickly shed once we got into middle school. He still calls Caroline, "Cara" and he still calls Victoria, "Tori", Caroline never comments but Victoria hates that he still calls her Tori because she absolutely loathes the nickname. I don't particularly like being called Olive, but when Dad says it I remember being a little kid so I stopped being bothered by it a while ago.

"Hey Dad!" I say happily.

"What's up kiddo, weren't you the one giving me grief about breaking our Sunday phone call protocol?"

I laugh; Dad will never stop giving me crap. "I know, I know, but I have some news and I'm really excited to tell you!"

"All right, well give it to me!" Dad says. I love that he always manages to get excited when one of his girls is excited.

"Well, next weeks I'm going to be coming down to attend a fundraiser that my bosses charity is throwing, it's a fundraiser for the arts and it's kind of a star-studded event, all kinds of celebrities show up and the best part is not only do I get to go, but I managed to score some tickets for you, Mom, and Caroline!" I'm so excited, as I'm speaking I have to keep reminding myself in my head that I'm at the office so I should probably keep my voice down.

"Wow Ace, that sounds great. I think your Mom will enjoy that and I know Cara will. Have you told her yet? That sounds like something she'll go nuts about."

I shake my head and then realize, duh, he can't see that because I'm on the phone. "No Dad, I called you first. I'm planning on calling her after."

Dad laughs, "All right well I'll let you go so you can call your Mom and your sister. Oh wait, what's the date so I can put it in my calendar?"

"June twenty-fifth, I'm coming home during the day on the twenty-first though. The company gets us hotel rooms but I'll probably just tell Fitz that I'm going to stay with you guys, at least for a night or two." I'd rather stay with Fitz but I know my parents will want me to stay with them.

"That sounds great Ace, oh why don't you have that boss of yours come to dinner at the house one of those nights? You're always talking about the guy; I'd like to meet him."

I stutter, I wasn't expecting this, "Umm, Dad I don't know, he's probably going to be busy."

Dad of course won't take no for an answer, "Ohh bullshit, he's the President of the company, that's why he has employees, so they can do the work for him!" I can hear Dad laughing at his own joke even when I pull the phone slightly away from my ear.

"Okay, okay." I concede, "I'll ask him but that doesn't mean he'll come, he might actually be busy or just not want to eat with his assistant's family." I sarcastically reply, proud of myself for staying calm.

"Invite Harrison too then, maybe then he'll be more inclined to come over. Actually I'm going to ask him myself and tell him to make sure you ask your boss!" Dad starts to laugh and for the second time I have to pull the phone away from my ear because his laugh is so loud.

"Okay, Dad. Fine, I will ask him." I say grumpily.

"Bye, Ace. Love you." Dad says.

"Love you too." I say and hang up.

Crap. Crap crap crap. Crap times ten. If Dad had wanted to invite Fitz over to the house for dinner five months ago I would have been totally fine with that, mostly because we weren't sleeping together and because I'm not sure if I can fool my lawyer parents into believing he's just my boss the way I've been able to fool the rest of the employees. It would have been okay at the fundraiser because I know my family would have been so preoccupied with meeting celebrities that they would just be star struck to even meet Fitz. That would have worked out perfectly. They would have met him, loved him, and then hopefully not been too angry when I told them he's actually my boyfriend. But a night alone, with all the attention focused on him and me, we might have a problem. Strangely I'm happy Dad is going to invite Harrison, that will at least distract a little bit from me since my parents absolutely adore him. But this is still going to be a stressful night, especially since Harrison hasn't completely warmed to Fitz and I again. He's forgiven us but I know he's still wary of our relationship. I quickly call my Mom and sister and inform them of the good news, they are all excited of course and I am happy to have a weekend with them back home. But now I have to ask Fitz to dinner. This should go well.

I get up from my desk and knock quietly at the door between our offices.

"None shall pass!" He bellows.

I roll my eyes and open the door anyway, "Well, I'm sorry but I don't have a shrubbery to give you though I could trade other favors for passage?" I say seductively.

"No no no, a shrubbery is the only thing that will grant you passage." He says, his eyes glued to his computer screen as he types away.

"Well, I've got a cactus in my office, what about that?" I say, deciding to play along with his game.

He looks up at me, "I guess that will have to do then." He then proceeds to sigh dramatically in defeat.

I roll my eyes again at him and walk over to him and sit on his desk, directly facing him, and cross my legs.

He pushes his chair closer to me and runs a hand down my calf, "I've changed my mind, you're other favors are sufficient to grant passage, keep your cactus." He says as he puts his other hand up my skirt and lightly starts to stroke my thigh.

I let him have his fun for a moment and then I swat his hand away. "Stop it, we're at work you perv!" I say, trying to stifle my laugh as his face turns into a childish frown.

"Yeah, well if that's the rule then what was the exception that got you naked on this desk a few weeks ago?" He says, grinning wickedly.

I roll my eyes, "That was desperate, need you now sex. I had you this morning, I don't need you now." I say cheekily.

"Oh, that's good to know." He says sarcastically and pouts, "Then you have to get off my desk and sit across from me."

I roll my eyes at him again, he can be so childish sometimes, but I do find it endearing.

I hop off the desk and he grabs my arm and pulls me back over to him, he catches my face with his other hand and pulls me in for a kiss.

I am grinning goofily when he releases me because I was not expecting that. I make my way around his desk and plop myself down in an armchair, frowning because I now remember why I've come in here in the first place.

"What's up?" He asks, brown furrowed as if he's trying to read the expression on my face.

I sigh, "Well, I called my Dad and told him about the gala, he and my Mom and Caroline are all very excited to go, but my Dad made a request."

"Which is?" Fitz is looking at me with utter confusion.

"He wants you to have dinner with my family." I am cringing as I speak.

Fitz laughs, "Well, I was going to meet them anyway. Maybe this will be better; I'll have more time to get to know them and them me. It wasn't the plan but we can make it work."

I sigh in relief, "Oh my god I love you so much."

Fitz grins, "It'll all work out Livvy. I promise."

I smile, "Harrison will be coming as well and most likely Harrison's parents, have you met them before?"

"Yes, I have met Harrison's parents before." He says with a smile.

I sit up in my chair I was calm but I'm starting to freak out more by the second, "Fitz, how are you so calm about this? My parents are both lawyers. If I so much as slip up and look at you funny at least one of them will see it and then my Dad will murder you, he didn't start out in the Marine Corps as a lawyer!" I exclaim, trying very hard not to be loud.

Fitz laughs at me; "We pretend at work, I'm sure we can pretend for a few hours with your parents."

I shake my head furiously, "You don't understand, my parents are like human lie detector tests, they always know when I'm lying."

"I thought you said you were good at fooling them?" He cocks his head to the side, looking at me like he's a little puzzled.

"I am, about stuff that doesn't matter like sneaking into clubs when I was a teenager or taking the Chunnel to Paris by myself on a student ambassador trip. This is real stuff, stuff that could mess up what we have. Stuff that involves my Dad murdering you in cold blood because you touched his favorite daughter." I am still trying to talk in a quiet voice but I'm not sure how well it's working.

"Well I'm probably safe from the last one since I'm not sleeping with Caroline." He quips, a devilish grin on his face.

Instead of retorting verbally I take a pen from his desk and whip it at him.

Fitz blocks it and just starts to laugh and continues for several minutes before calming down and just staring at me.

"What?" I blurt out, I'm freaking out and I don't know why he isn't.

"Seeing you frazzled is…entertaining." He teases.

I roll my eyes at him again; I seem to be doing a lot of that today. "Shut up." I say, turning my head to the side because I know I'm blushing a bit.

He gets up out of his chair and walks around to me. He pulls me up out of the chair and he kisses me. It's a deep kiss and I'm momentarily flustered by it after he pulls away.

"We're going to be fine. I know you wanted us to meet at the gala so there were distractions if we needed them, but I think this will be all right."

I smile and put my hands on his shoulders, "I really hope you're right."


	37. Chapter 37

_"I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity and her flaming self respect and it's these things I'd believe in even if the whole world indulged in the wild suspicions that she wasn't all that she should be. But of course the real reason is that I love her, and that's the beginning and end of everything."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, describing Zelda Fitzgerald in a letter to a friend_

* * *

Friday afternoon Fitz and are heading to the airfield and I am overwhelmingly excited. I'm staring out the window like a little kid and I can't stop moving.

Fitz glances at me and starts to laugh.

I roll my eyes, "Stop it! I'm excited!"

"Liv, you've been on a thousand planes."

"But I've never been on a biplane and I've never been on any plane being flown by my boyfriend."

Fitz grins, "Good."

When we get to the airfield we check in and head to Fitz's hangar. His plane is gorgeous. It's silver and blue and although it doesn't say US Navy on it, it still has the Naval aircraft insignia on the side. I also see the name "Clara" painted on the side of the plane.

"Did you name the plane after your Mom?" I call out to him.

"I did. She always wanted me to be an aviator so I like to think she'd like that I named my favorite plane after her."

I smile to myself; he's got such a kind and sweet soul.

I run my hand along the side as I wait for Fitz to check everything. I sort of can't believe we're actually doing this. I'm so unbelievably excited!

After a while Fitz comes over to me and hands me a pair of goggles and a soft helmet with a headset, "Put these on."

I laugh, "Oh god, I'm going to look ridiculous." I take them and put them on and then pose for him, "Sexy right?"

He laughs and pulls me in for a kiss, "You're always sexy."

He helps me climb into my seat at the front of the plane and helps me get situated before he climbs in himself.

He starts the engine and propellers and the plane starts to move forward. We make our way onto the runway and Fitz gets the OK to take off. We start picking up speed and I can't help but feel totally exhilarated as the plane lifts up off the ground.

We rise up through the trees and suddenly the San Jose skyline is in view. It's so beautiful I am at a loss for words. Fitz then starts to talk to me through the headset, "I thought we'd fly toward the mountains, is that okay?"

I smile, "Absolutely!"

He takes me out East and by the mountains. Everywhere there are beautiful green trees. It's breathtaking. I could stay up here forever. The loud sound of the plane is oddly soothing, like it's lulling me into a state of relaxation.

We fly around until it starts to get dark and I just enjoy every second of my sky tour. When we finally land I am bummed that our flight is over but still elated by the experience. Fitz brings the plane into the hanger and he climbs out and then helps me climb out.

Once I step out of the plane I throw my arms around him. "Thank you so much. That was the greatest thing I've ever gotten to do."

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close, "I'm glad you liked it."

I pull away, goggles and helmet still on. Fitz smiles, "Can I get a picture of you in that?"

I giggle, "Yes, but it's for your eyes only."

I pose near the wing of the plane and Fitz snaps a few pictures.

"Can we get a picture together?" I ask, taking off my goggles.

He nods and looks around; he sees his friend John and waves him over, "Hey John, can you do us a favor?"

John comes over and Fitz asks him to take a picture of us with the plane.

I wrap my arms around his torso and smile brightly for the camera. John takes a few pictures and we thank him and talk for a little while.

After we get everything put back in it's place we head out and Fitz suggests we pick up some food before we head back to his house.

We decide on Chinese and we place an order at our favorite take-out place. We stop there and I go inside to pick it up. As I am grabbing the bag I hear an unfamiliar voice behind me, "Liv! Hey!"

I cringe before I turn around, "Hey Amanda, how are you?" I say, gritting my teeth as I speak.

She looks and sounds a little buzzed, "I'm so good! Just out with my boyfriend. What are you up to?"

"Just picking up some late dinner for me and my roommate." I lie, cool and collected, not even missing a beat.

She grins, "You should come out with us! We're going to a bar around the corner after we eat."

I shake my head, "Maybe some other time. I'm exhausted from this week and my roommate is waiting. Good to see you though."

She clearly doesn't notice that I'm blowing her off because she just hugs me and says goodbye.

I run back to Fitz's car and jump in quickly, "We should get going. I ran into Amanda in there. She seems drunk but it's still probably not a good idea for her to see us."

Fitz frowns, "Well, at least we won't have to deal with this for much longer."

I reach over to squeeze his bicep gently and smile, "That's an amazing thought and a terrifying thought all at the same time."

We head home and eat our dinner and then head to bed quickly; we're both pretty tired. We're in bed and I'm snuggled up to Fitz, "Thank you for taking me up in your plane."

He pulls me closer, "I'm glad I got to share it with you. Maybe I could teach you how to fly?"

I sit up and stare at Fitz with wide eyes, "Are you serious?"

He laughs, "I take it that's something you'd be interested in doing?"

I start to laugh, "Oh, just a _little_ bit." I then lean in to kiss him, "I love you Fitz."

He deepens the kiss and when we finally break apart I am breathless.

"I love you too, Livvy. Goodnight."

The next morning Fitz and I decide to spend some time outside. We've eaten breakfast and now we're lounging—both of us reading—when my phone startles us both as it starts to ring. "Fuck." I mutter and Fitz laughs at my omission.

I grab the phone and groan. This is going to be a very unpleasant phone call. "It's my Dad. I bet Victoria told him. He's calling me for my turn at cross-examination."

Fitz tries to smile supportively but he knows this is going to go badly too.

I take a deep breath and pick up the phone, "Hey Dad." I say, trying to be casual.

My Dad doesn't even start off with pleasantries. He just dives right into the good stuff, "Olivia Katherine Pope, did you know your sister was pregnant?"

I sigh, "Yes, Dad. I knew. I went to the appointment with her."

My Dad is surprisingly calm. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't mine to tell, Dad."

He sighs but doesn't say anything and that makes me _really_ nervous.

"Dad…? Are you all right?"

He scowls, "Of course I'm not all right Olivia! I've never worried about Victoria. She had her head in the clouds with all her romanticism but even so she always knew exactly what she wanted and how she was going to get it. I never expected this from her."

I'm silent for a moment, "So…this was something you expected from me or Caroline?"

"Olivia, that's not what I meant."

I shake my head, "Then what did you mean?"

He sighs, "I just…I meant that you have always been more of a question mark to me."

I shake my head, "Right, I guess it's my own fault you think that, I did slit my wrist with a broken bottle."

"Olivia, I'm sorry, I just…"

I cut him off, "It's fine Dad. I have to go."

"Olivia…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate this was something I expected of you."

"I have to go Dad. I'll call you on Sunday." And with that I hang up the phone without saying goodbye.

I stand up and I'm so mad that I whip my phone at the fence. It hits the fence surrounding the pool and shatters.

I pace around and Fitz just sits on the lounge and lets me cool off. I don't know why I'm _so_ mad about what my Dad said. I know he wasn't trying to be cruel but I guess what he said made me feel like he has no faith in me or in the choices I make.

I look over at my phone, "Fuck, why did I do that?"

Fitz smiles and holds his hand out, "Don't worry about it. We'll get you a new one."

I reach for his hand and he pulls me onto his lap, "What did he say?" He asks as he rubs soothing circles around my back.

I sigh, "Basically he told me he expected something like this from me but not from Victoria."

"Oh sweet baby, I'm so sorry. He's upset. I'm sure he doesn't mean what he said."

I laugh, "See but that's the thing, he does mean it. Anger brings out honesty. I know people thought I was a mess after everything with Huck and when I took time off during school. Everyone thought I was crazy for trying to find some inspiration. I know people talked about me. But I thought my Dad believed in me."

Fitz touches my chin and tilts my head upward so he can look me in the eyes. "Your Dad does believe in you. I promise he does, sometimes people just get frustrated. And anyway, I believe in you. I've believed in you from the day we met and I will always believe in you."

I can't help but smile even though I'm still upset, "I know you do and that means the world to me."

He leans in to kiss me chastely, "Let's go get you a new phone and then we are going to do whatever you want to do."

I smile, "Watch a boring movie and have boring sex in your bed?"

He laughs and shakes his head, "Thanks for making it sound so appealing."

I sit up and lean in to kiss him, "I love you."

He wraps an arm around my waist, "I love you."

We get to the phone store and we look around at the phones while we wait for our number to be up. Fitz is walking beside me, his hands in his pockets indicating he's got something on his mind.

"What's going on with you?" I ask, turning to him and crossing my arms.

He smiles, he knows I know his tells and he doesn't even question it, "I was just thinking…why don't we add you to my phone plan?"

I open my mouth to protest and Fitz holds up his hand, "I know what you're going to say but it's perfectly logical. You're on your parents cell phone plan but you pay them every month. You can just tell them you got a good deal on your own plan."

I smile and shake my head, "I'm not getting on your cell phone plan because you'll never let me pay for it."

Fitz grins, "That's true."

"Then no. I'm not getting on your phone plan. Ever." I say with as much sass as I can muster as I cross my arms over my chest.

Fitz grins, "Fine, I'll concede this one thing. If you add yourself to my plan you can pay for it yourself."

I smile, "Well you gave that up easy…what if we break up?"

Fitz grins and steps forward, his hand grazes my chin gently, "We're not going to break up."

I sigh, "Not yet Fitz, it's…it's too scary right now. After we tell my parents I'll switch."

He sighs in defeat and nods, "That's fair. It wasn't right of me to ask you to lie to them like that anyway."

I reach out and intertwine our fingers together, "After we tell my parents. We can get a couples cell phone plan, that's a thing, right?"

Fitz grins, "That seems like a fair compromise."

The week goes by quickly and the day before we leave for LA Fitz and I are packing. All of my nice clothing is at Fitz's because he's the only one I wear it for. I've packed my work clothes and basic stuff but I need to pick out a cocktail dress for the GGC meet and greet and then I need a killer dress for the actual gala.

We finish picking out Fitz's suits and we move on to my dresses. We pick out a cocktail dress pretty quickly and we move on to my dress for the gala.

"So I was thinking either the coral one or the navy one." I say, pulling my two best options out of the closet.

Fitz smiles and turns to a hanger bag by his suits and holds it up in front of me, "Actually I was thinking you deserved to wear something brand new."

My eyes grow wide and I can't help but squeal as I skip toward Fitz, "Oh my god, Fitz you didn't!" I can't even pretend to be mad at him because I love it when he does this.

He pulls it away from me before I grab it and I start to pout, "Fiiitz, I want to see it!"

He laughs, "All right, I'll show it to you. Now don't just be nice about it. If you don't like it you don't have to wear it."

I roll my eyes, "Fitz, I'm sure it's beautiful. Now show me!"

He opens the bag and reveals a beyond gorgeous dress. It's a beautiful marigold yellow with a deep v, it's a chiffon fabric and the bottom is pleated so that it flows everywhere. It's absolutely stunning.

"Fitz, this is gorgeous. I love it. When did you have time to get this?"

He laughs, "I called Victoria and asked her where I could get a beautiful, one-of-a-kind dress and she gave me a few numbers and I made a few calls."

I squeal and throw my arms around his neck, "You are the absolute best Mr. Grant!"

He chuckles and wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his head into my neck. "I love you, Livvy."

The next afternoon we set out for LA. Fitz and I are flying down the night before everyone else gets there in order to make sure everything is in order before set up starts tomorrow. There are only eight first class seats on this plane and Fitz and I are sitting right in front of the wall dividing us from the rest of the cabin. It's the perfect seat to snuggle up to each other.

I'm starting to get very nervous. We're having dinner with my parents tomorrow night and we are planning on telling them about us while we are at the gala two nights later. I feel bad for wanting to tell my parents that way but I know it's for the best. My Dad would never make a scene in public and it will give him the opportunity to cool down before he freaks out privately.

I'm staring out the window, watching the planes ahead of us take off, and fiddling with Fitz's ring, the ring that hasn't left my right ring finger since he gave it to me.

Fitz reaches his hand over and covers my hands, stilling them. "Livvy, take a breath."

I look over at him and scrunch my nose, "It's just…it's strange to think that when we come home on Sunday everything will have changed."

Fitz squeezes my hands, "Yes, but it's going to be great. Everything is going to work out."

I sigh and lean my head against the seat, "I wish I had your optimism."

Fitz smiles and touches my hand gently, "I won't be mad if you decide to take it off."

I grin, "How did you know I was thinking that?"

He shrugs, "I just know you that well."

I laugh, "I don't want to but I think I should take it off. My mother would see it and immediately know I didn't buy it for myself."

"You can take it off Livvy, I understand."

I frown, "But I don't want to take it off. It's…comforting."

He grins, "I figured you'd say something like that."

I roll my eyes, "Your ego is outrageous."

He winks at me and then lets go of my hands to rummage around in his carry on. He sits up and I see he has produced a small black box from the bag.

I stare at him, my brow furrowed.

He reaches for my hand and places the box in my open palm, "Open it."

"Fitz, what the heck is this?" I ask, completely confused.

Fitz just laughs, "Open the box Olivia."

I open it and find a simple silver ring. I smile, "What is this?"

"It's a family heirloom. It doesn't look like much but my grandfather bought it at Sotheby's for my Grandmother shortly after they got married. She then gave it to my father to give to my mother and when my mother died she left it to me to give to my future wife. I never gave it to Mellie, it just never felt right. It even has a name; it's called "doux bebe" which means 'sweet baby' in French. It once belonged to a member of the French royal family."

My eyes are watering, "That's why you call me 'sweet baby'?"

He smiles at me and nods.

The tears spill out of my eyes, "But…you've called me that since…since our first weekend together."

He nods, his face completely serious, "I know. That's how long I've known."

I slip the ring on my left forefinger and I move the armrest out of the way. I wrap my arms around Fitz and he wraps an arm around me and kisses the top of my head, "The flight attendant is going to yell at us."

I shake my head, "I don't care."

"I love you Liv."

"I love you too, Fitz." I lean back to look him in the eye, "How come you didn't just give me this for our anniversary? You didn't have to buy me another ring."

Fitz smiles, "I decided a couple months back that I was going to give you this ring right before we told your parents about our relationship. I wanted to give it to you to reaffirm my commitment to you so even if things went poorly you could look at the ring and know how much I love you. I actually intended to buy you a necklace for our anniversary but I saw that ring and I just knew it was perfect for you."

I smile, "What on earth did I do to deserve you?"

That afternoon we arrive at the hotel and we go through everything with the LA staff and make sure everything is in order for when the rest of the office shows up tomorrow and the next few days. We meet up with Robbie, the head of the LA office, and Fitz was right, I absolutely love this kid. After hitting up a few bars Fitz and I decide to turn in for the night. We head back to the hotel room and right when the door closes we are all over each other.

Clothes are flying in all directions as we stumble toward the bed. We don't even make it to the bed and end up on the sofa.

Fitz pushes me back so I am lying on the sofa and he yanks my shorts down my body. His mouth immediately finds my center and I can't contain my yelps of pleasure.

His hands join the party and start running over my sides and my thighs and every nerve in my body feels over stimulated.

I arch my back and moan; there can't be much else that feels this good.

His tongue is working it's magic and I scream as my body finally releases all the tension built up inside me.

Fitz kisses up my body as I catch my breath and when I open my eyes his pants are on the ground.

I grin and I sit up and wrap my arms around him. He hoists me off the sofa and he steps backward until his knees hit the bed and he sits down. I maneuver myself so I'm sitting on his lap and we continue our passionate make-out session for several moments. I can feel his hardness against my stomach and I'm more than ready for him so I lift myself up, bracing my knees on the bed, and I sink down onto him. It's amazing to me how we've been together for five months and my body still craves him like an addiction, I will never grow tired of the feeling of him inside me. I start off slowly but soon Fitz takes control and uses his hands on my bum to help me pick up the pace. Our bodies are pressed tightly to one another and our mouths are still engaged in a passionate duel. I know I'm close so I dig my fingers into his shoulders and he picks up the pace and several thrusts later I am over the edge into oblivion. I collapse, my head now buried in his neck and he is slowly and tantalizingly moving my body in a gyrating motion in order to let me ride out my orgasm. When I can finally breathe normally again he stops, stands up and turns us around. He climbs onto the bed and lays me down underneath him so that his body is covering mine. My legs are still gripping his body and I can feel his erection push at my entrance as he places hot kisses all over my neck and collarbone before making his way back up to my mouth. His right hand is fondling my breast and his left hand is on my bum, pushing my pelvis into his own. I reach my hand down and start to stroke him lightly before lining him up and easing him into my core. He pushes in slowly and I moan into his mouth. He starts off slow, easing himself in and out of me a few times before he buries himself inside me, our sweaty bodies are sticking together and I can tell that he's close because he bites down hard on my shoulder. It's definitely going to leave a mark but I don't care. He starts rotating his hips and it's sensational. I swear I'm starting to see stars, I grip him tighter with my legs and he adjusts himself so he's balancing on either side of me on his forearms. He starts to thrust and the already shaking bed starts to creak as I grab the headboard to hold myself in place so he can thrust even harder. I can't help but scream his name as I find my release. Fitz finds his a second later and collapses on top of me. We're both breathing heavily but Fitz still manages to shift himself off of me and pull me to the side, so close to him that all our limbs are now tangled together. My head is resting in the crook of his neck and he's pressing light kisses down my hairline, his left arm is holding me close to him and his right hand is running lightly up and down my spine.

A little while later we are still lying tangled together, we're both sweaty and exhausted but we can't move.

Fitz runs a hand through my hair, "How you doing?"

I laugh, "I definitely don't feel bad about skipping my run today."

He leans in to kiss me, "How about we head to bed?"

I nod and start to get up. I laugh when I see our clothes strewn about the room.

Fitz follows me and helps me turn down the bedding. We head to the bathroom and wash up and then come back to bed, not bothering to put on our pajamas. We both slide to the middle of the bed and we cuddle together.

"I'm excited to meet your family tomorrow and see where you grew up."

I smile as I trace patterns on his chest, "I kind of wish I could take you to our old house in Redondo. Show you where I really grew up."

"Maybe we'll go on an 'Olivia Pope tour' someday and go to all the places you lived?"

I smile, "You want to do that in the order I lived in them? Because that would be a _lot_ of flying. That trip would go, San Diego, Bahrain, Okinawa, Redondo Beach, Malibu, South Africa, Zambia, Berkeley, Palos Verdes, then finally back to San Jose."

Fitz laughs, "That would be quite a bit of flying, but we could do it."

I roll my eyes, "You are nuts." I turn to kiss his chest, "I want to see where you grew up too."

"Well, I've really only lived in California; Santa Barbara, Berkeley, San Diego and of course San Jose. Except the year I was on a carrier, though we can't visit that. Plus living in Africa but I didn't live any specific place, I just traveled around. My Aunt actually owns the house I grew up in—that's Charlotte's mom, we could go visit her sometime? She would love you."

My eyes light up, "Really? I'd love to meet your Aunt."

Fitz pulls me close and kisses my head, "I know she'd love to meet you."

I bite my lip and look up at him, "Does she…does she know about me?"

Fitz audibly exhales, "She knows I'm seeing someone I'm in love with but she doesn't know how young you are and she doesn't know you're my assistant. She will be fine with it though. You have nothing to worry about."

I nod, "Okay, I trust you."

Work the next day goes by quickly and by 5:30 Fitz and I are cruising down the 405 on our way to Palos Verdes and I am getting more nervous by the minute even though we won't actually tell my parents tonight. I'm playing with the new ring on my finger and reveling in the quiet comfort it's giving me.

We pull up to the house and I can feel my heart start to race.

"This house is gorgeous Livvy."

I manage a small smile, "Thanks. They built it after I left for college. I love it."

He reaches over and grabs my hand, "Don't worry, everything will be okay."

I sigh, "Okay…oh um just so you know, my Mom texted me not to mention Victoria being pregnant. Apparently my Dad is still processing. Also, he isn't really one to air his dirty laundry so he wouldn't talk about it in front of you anyway."

Fitz nods, "God it. My lips are sealed."

We park and get out of the car and I have to pause in front of the door and take a deep breath before I open it and Fitz and I walk into the house.

"So…this is my parents house." I say quietly to Fitz as we enter the foyer. Just as we enter, Ruby and Ranger come barreling at us and I introduce them to Fitz.

Before we can say much else my mother scurries into the room. "Olive! Sweetie I've missed you so much!" She throws her arms around me and envelops me in a tight hug. "Hi, Mom. I've missed you too."

As she pulls back my Dad walks into the room. "Hey Dad." I say with a smile. "Mom, Dad I'd like you to meet my boss, Fitzgerald Grant."

My Mom rushes over to him and hugs him. He looks surprised but also happy.

"It is so good to finally meet you, Olivia speaks so highly of you! I'm Maya, it's truly just an absolute pleasure to finally meet you!" My Mom gushes.

She finally releases him and takes a step back. Fitz is smiling, "Thank you Maya, it's a pleasure to meet you as well. And it's an honor to know your daughter thinks so highly of me."

I'm glad no one is paying attention to me because my cheeks are heating up and I can't help but grin at Fitz.

My Dad then steps forward and reaches out his hand, "Fitzgerald, I'm Eli."

Fitz shakes his hand, "Eli, it's a pleasure to meet you. And please, call me Fitz."

"Fitz." My Dad says with a smile, "Great to meet you."

My Mom ushers us into the kitchen where it smells absolutely delicious.

Fitz apparently notices too, "Something smells fantastic. May I ask what's for dinner?"

My Mom, my own ball busting, super lawyer mother, swoons at Fitz's comment, _my_ mother!

"Carne asada with mango salsa, rice pilaf, and avocado salad."

"It smells absolutely delicious."

My Mom is practically batting her eyelashes at Fitz and this is just getting awkward.

"Hey Ace, why don't you give Fitz a tour of the house? I need to finish up the carne asada and your Mom has a few more things to do as well." My Dad suggests.

"Um, sure yeah I'd be happy to do that. Um, is Caroline here yet?"

My Dad shakes his head, "No, she should be home in about fifteen minutes."

I nod my head, "Okay."

I take Fitz on a tour through the main floor and upstairs, "And this room is my bedroom." I say opening the door and showing Fitz into my room.

I start to speak but lower my voice because even though I don't think anyone can hear us, I don't want to risk it. "My Mother was batting her eyelashes at you! Seriously, I can't think of many things that are more awkward than that. What is with women and you? Do you give off some kind of special pheromone that makes women go gaga over you?"

Fitz laughs and takes a step toward me, pulling me into his body, "You are crazy." He says before kissing me softly and then turning around to walk out of the room. "Come on Livvy, wouldn't want to make anyone suspicious." He says with a wink.

I scowl. "You're evil, Fitzgerald."

He just continues to laugh and lets me lead him down two flights of stairs and into the lower level so I can continue his tour.

I take him around the house and we finish with the backyard and the infinity pool.

We pause and look out at the ocean. It really is a gorgeous view. "You sure you don't ever want to move back here?"

I laugh, "Well, never say never. It is beautiful."

"I am a little envious of this infinity pool. I wanted one in Carmel but with it being secluded it wasn't really right."

I roll my eyes, "Fitzgerald, you have the most beautiful tiered pool I've ever seen in my life!"

He laughs, "But there's something gorgeous in the simplicity of an infinity pool, don't you think? Especially one like this where you look out and see the ocean. It's like you're in the pool and in your own little world but then you look out at the ocean and you see how vast and beautiful it is and you realize how small you are in the grand scheme of things."

I'd like to hold his hand right now but I know I can't. My mother or father could look out the window at any minute.

"When we first moved to this house I would just hang out in the pool for hours, staring out into the distance and I would think about how all the way back in Okinawa they were looking at the same ocean."

Fitz smiles, "I used to do that when I was stationed on the carrier. I'd look out and think about all the people all over the world looking out at the same ocean I was. It always brought me peace. Especially before a mission."

"My Dad will love that you were a Naval pilot. You should definitely try to bring that up."

Fits smiles, "Noted."

Just then my Mom walks onto the balcony and calls us up, "Olive, Fitz, dinner is just about ready."

We acknowledge her before she walks back into the house and then start to head up the stairs and into the kitchen.

Caroline has finally arrived and I introduce her to Fitz. "Fitz, this is my younger sister, Caroline. Caroline, this is my boss, Fitzgerald Grant."

Fitz and Caroline only have a moment to get acquainted, and she spends all of it thanking him profusely for helping her get a job, before my Mom calls us all to the table where she has presented a beautiful feast. We all sit down to dinner and the conversation is surprisingly easy. Fitz is an amazing dinner guest. He keeps my Dad talking about his most recent case and then turns to my mother.

"Maya, do you also specialize in civil action?"

My Mom blushes, dear lord, "Actually, I do mostly pro bono work. I take on a lot of appeals and currently I'm assigned as defense council in a murder trial."

"Wow, that sounds fascinating. Can you tell us about the case at all?"

My Mom nods, "It's actually been all over the paper. Have you heard of the Joey Keller case? That's my case."

"That's been all over the news. It looks like a tough one."

My Mom nods, "There's so much controversy but I truly believe he's been falsely accused."

Fitz smiles, "It's good to know there are still people in the world who actually believe in people."

My Mom turns to me, "Olivia, I'm a little in love with your boss."

We all burst out laughing. Mine is nervous laughter.

"So Fitz, Olivia tells us you're also a photographer and you spent some time in Central Africa?" She ventures.

Fitz nods, "One year. My father passed away and I had to come home and take over the family business but that was hands down the best year of my life."

My Mom smiles, "I was born in Cape Town, South Africa. We moved to the states when I was two but they moved back about twenty years ago after Madiba was elected. My sister and brother-in-law live there as well. They moved back about fifteen years ago. I keep telling Eli that I've moved all over with him and the Navy so when we retire we're moving to Cape Town." My Mom says with a grin as she turns to my father who just laughs and nods. She continues, "Eli's brother lives in Zambia and his mother lives there half the year. We try to get there at least once a year. I don't know if Olivia told you but she spent a year in Southern Africa. She's always saying it was the best year of her life as well. You two have a lot in common, no wonder you get along so well."

I can't help myself when I blush at this comment.

"So are you currently seeing anyone, Fitz? If not I know a lot of beautiful young women who would jump through hoops to date you." My Mom says with a laugh.

Fitz smiles, god how is he staying so cool? "Ah, sorry, I am seeing someone."

My Mom frowns in a joking sort of manner, "Is it serious?"

"Mom!" I exclaim. I can't believe she would ask that!

She shrugs and Fitz laughs and answers her question anyway, "It's actually very serious. She's an extraordinary woman. I'm very lucky to have her in my life."

I can feel my cheeks getting hot and I try not to fidget nervously.

"You've told her that?"

"Mother!" I hiss, I seriously can't believe how much my mother is prying into Fitz's life right now.

Fitz grins, "Every chance I get."

My Mom then eyes me as she responds to Fitz, "You're quite the catch Mr. Grant, she's lucky to have you too."

I just nod my head and turn away from my mother. I can tell she's trying to get a read off me and I am not about to let her. I decide to change the subject, "Hey Dad, Fitz was in the Navy. He trained at the Fighter Weapons School when you were a JAG at Miramar."

My Dad is obviously excited by this comment and I breathe a sigh of relief when they start talking about officers they both know from their time in the service.

The rest of the dinner goes well, lots of wine is consumed and by the end of the night I think Caroline and I might be the only ones who aren't blasted.

"Fitz, why don't you just stay here tonight? It's already midnight and honestly I'm not sure any of us should be driving." My Dad says, his laugh bellowing throughout the house.

My Mom jumps right in, "Oh, you can stay in the pool house. We just fixed it up. It will be perfect!" She gushes, rushing out of the house, I'm sure to check on the towel situation in the pool house.

"Eli, I couldn't, you've all been too kind to me already." Fitz says, he's emphasizing his words more than he needs to so I know he's definitely a little buzzed.

"Nonsense, you gave this one a job and you made a recommendation that got that one a job and now they're off the Pope payroll! As far as I'm concerned, I'm in your debt for life!" My Dad says, pointing to Caroline and me.

I stifle a nervous chuckle, I'm not sure my Dad would feel the same way if he knew all the kinky things Fitz and I have done at said job.

Fitz looks at me as if asking permission to spend the night and I nod my head. I was looking forward to spending a night cuddling with the dogs but I'd much rather cuddle with him. I've snuck out of the house a million times when my parents were sober, it won't be hard to do it now when they're clearly sloshed.

An hour later the main house is dead quiet, Mom has long finished getting Fitz settled in and I can hear my Dad snoring from down the hall. I open my balcony doors—gosh this brings back memories of the summer after my freshman year of college—and climb over the railing and down the trellis. I quietly make my way to the pool house and open the door I know Fitz has purposely left unlocked for me.

I walk in and through the main room to find him sitting on the bed in just his pajama pants, flipping through channels on the television.

He sees me enter, "Finally" he sighs and gets up, walks over to me in two long strides and presses his lips forcefully to mine. I know he's still buzzed, this is how he kisses when he's buzzed, he's forceful, like this is the last time he's going to be able to kiss me for years. I am too a little buzzed still and therefore I attack him and push him down to the bed. I begin to take off my pajamas, just a tank top and shorts, nothing underneath and he groans when he realizes how quickly I've just stripped completely naked. I grab the waistband of his pants and pull them down and off him. Smiling when I see he's already at attention, I kiss my way down his chest and slowly capture him in my mouth and carefully work on his stiff member. I get him almost to the point of completion when he pulls me up and starts to kiss my mouth because I know he doesn't want to finish already. He places hot kisses down my neck and pauses to pay special attention to each of my breasts. His mouth takes turns working its magic on my nipples and it feels so good that my pelvis is involuntarily thrusting up, begging for contact with his body. He kisses his way down my stomach and makes his way to the heat between my legs. His mouth is making quick work and his tongue is working its magic and I am about to completely lose it when he abruptly breaks contact and moves up my body, he places his hands under my knees and brings them up around his body, swiftly thrusting into me. I try to stifle my scream by biting my lip. A moment later Fitz's mouth is on mine and we find our perfect rhythm, rocking back and forth on the bed. I'm dizzy from the pleasure when he abruptly stops and flips me over onto my stomach. He presses his body against my back and between my legs I feel the familiar stretch of him entering me from behind. His right hand caresses my backside and then finds its way to my front and I feel the rough skin on his hand stroking my folds. I bury my head into the pillow for a moment so it will muffle my scream. He thrusts harder into me and my body is writhing from the glorious angle he has achieved from our current position. His hand makes its way up my body and he turns my head so that he can kiss me. He picks up the pace once again and I know I'm close. Skin slapping against skin, he's grunting in my ear as he thrusts into me harder. His hand is gripping my breast so hard I know there's going to be a mark there tomorrow. One more hard thrust and I'm falling over the edge. My whole body goes limp and I can barely feel him thrust four more times before he finds his own release. He clings to my body for several moments; our bodies still intimately connected until he slowly pulls out of me and turns me around so that we are facing one another. His mouth finds mine and we kiss slowly and lazily, still in a stupor from the power of our orgasms. Our legs are tangled together and we're pressed as close as possible, I bury my head in his shoulder and we just lie there together for the next thirty or so minutes. I don't want to go back up to my room but I know I have to. I try to pull away but he just clings more tightly to me.

I laugh, "Fitz, I have to go back to my room." I whisper.

He groans in protest and buries his head in my neck, kissing it softly and mumbling, "No."

I laugh again, "Fitz seriously, if I fall asleep here I'll never get up and I cannot let my parents find me here in the morning."

He groans one more time, "I can't sleep without you though."

This makes me smile, I pull my head back so that I can look him in the eyes and I see his sad puppy dog face looking back at me. "If it makes you feel any better, I sleep like crap without you too." I whisper into his ear.

I can feel him smile against my shoulder and he responds, "Fine, but since you're leaving me tonight you have to promise to spend all of next week with me."

"Deal." I say, slowly slipping out of bed. I switch on the light so I can find my tank top and shorts. Fitz is staring at me while I put them back on.

"You know, as disappointing as you putting those back on is, it's still pretty hot." He says, staring at me with a devilish grin.

I lean over him and give him one last kiss on the lips before pulling back slowly. His eyes are closed as if he's allowing himself to just enjoy the moment. "Fitz, I'm looking forward to when we get to spend every day together."

He flashes me a huge smile, his whole face lit up by my words and pulls me down for another passionate kiss.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." He whispers between kisses, his head slowly making it way down to my neck.

I pull away and stand up abruptly, "All right, I can't start this or else I won't stop."

"I wouldn't mind." He says, grinning wickedly once again.

I laugh and make my way out the door and shoot back a quick retort. "Shut up." I say laughing as I quietly leave the pool house and start to climb back up to my room.

I arrived back in my room and as quietly as possible I lock my balcony door, ensuring the blinds are closed, and turn on my desk light. I turn around and I almost scream when I realize Caroline is sitting on my bed.

"Holy fuck, what are you trying to do to me?" I whisper.

She laughs and ignores my question, instead posing one of her own. "How was the sex?" She bluntly asks.

"Shhh." I hiss at her.

She laughs quietly, "Calm down, Mom and Dad are passed out."

I scowl, "How the fuck did you know?"

She laughs again, "Victoria told me."

I roll my eyes; I'm going to kill her and she now owes me a pair of shoes.

Caroline laughs again, "So is he good? I mean, he's hot and from what I can see it looks like he's in great shape."

I know that I'm blushing and Caroline starts to giggle.

"Oh Liv, what the hell are you doing?" She's dropped her giggle and is serious now.

I shake my head, "It's not what you think."

"What do I think?"

"I…we're…I love him. I'm in love with him."

She stares blankly at me-that was obviously not what she was expecting to hear.

"Olivia…what the, I mean…does he? Olivia, I can't believe you right now, you…"

"No." I say, interrupting her, "No, Caroline, you don't understand. This isn't just me being in love with him, this is us…being in love with each other, and I know that sounds stupid and gives the thought of silly, high school, red paper hearts kind of love but…but it's not, it…it's real."

She just stares at me with this baffled look on her face, "He…loves you?" She asks, her facial expression indicating she's having trouble believing this.

I roll my eyes, "Thanks a lot, sis." I say, turning my back to her.

She gets up off the bed, "No, Liv, I'm sorry that's not what I meant. I just…I mean, you're still with Jake…"

"No." I say, shaking my head. "I'm not with Jake, we're not together anymore, we haven't been for a while. Has he been telling people we're still together? We're supposed to be on a break but…but I haven't been in love with him for years. I don't feel around Jake the way that I do around Fitz. Fitz doesn't try to change me, he likes me the way I am, he loves me even though I'm fucked up. That's what love is, it's taken me this long to realize it and now that I know, it's…it's liberating! Loving someone isn't wanting them to change, it's wanting them even though they are a fucking mess and may never get their shit together. I love him, Caroline and he loves me. And honestly I don't know what the hell he sees in me because he's this gorgeous, successful, kind, generous man and I'm…well, I'm just me…I'm a fucking mess." I'm almost crying as I finish speaking and Caroline runs up to hug me.

"Liv, he loves you because you're amazing. You're kind, caring, brilliant, loving…he'd be crazy not to love you."

I wipe a rogue tear away from my eye, "Thanks Cara. I love you."

She pulls back and smiles at me, "I love you too, Liv. So when are you guys planning on telling Mom and Dad?"

"At the gala."

Caroline nods, "Public place. That's smart. Dad won't explode."

I laugh, "My thoughts exactly."

"Okay, I should get to bed. I doubt I'll see you before I leave for work tomorrow morning so see you at the gala and good luck."

I smile and lean forward to hug her again, "Thanks sissy."

She smiles at our pet name from when we were little, "Anytime sissy."

The next morning I'm cleaning up from the night before while Mom is setting out the breakfast options that include bagels…and more bagels.

It's early but Caroline has already left for work and my parents are going to leave right after Fitz and I leave. Mom is making casual conversation with me in a very suspicious way. "So that boss of yours is pretty great."

There it is. She's probing for information.

I nod and continue to put things away.

"Olivia, he's a very good man."

I nod my head, "Yes." I whisper.

"He seems to really love that girlfriend of his. The way he talks about her…that's rare. You'd be lucky to have a man like that. And a man like that would be lucky to date you."

My breath hitches and I turn away from my Mom because I can't look at her, I can't lie to her face. "Mom." I say, my voice pleading with her to stop.

She reaches out to play with a strand of my hair, "Olivia, you can tell me anything, you know that don't you?"

I nod my head and I'm about to confess what's going on to her when my Dad and Fitz walk into the room.

I try not to look visibly shaken by my conversation with my mother but Fitz knows instantly that something is up with me. My Dad starts telling us about how he showed Fitz all his Marine Corps memorabilia and Fitz frowns and looks at me. I shake my head and look away from him. My Dad finally finishes talking and I tell him that I'm going to grab a few things from my room.

Fitz follows me out of the kitchen, "Hey what's going on?" He asks as he grabs my arm gently.

I sigh, "My Mom just wigged me out a little bit. I think she suspects something, can we talk about it later though?"

Fitz nods and squeezes my arm, "Of course."

I smile at him and I turn to walk up the stairs but I am interrupted by the sound of my mother calling my name as she walks into the hallway.

Fitz yanks his arm away from mine as fast as possible and we both turn to my mother. "I'm going to hit the head. I'll meet you down here in a couple minutes, Liv?"

I nod, "Yeah, sounds good."

My Mom looks up at me, a sly smile on her face. "What is it, Mom?" I ask, as calm and collected as I can manage.

She shakes her head, "I um, never mind sweetie."

I frown, "Are you sure?"

She just keeps smiling, "Positive. Get your things. You don't want to make your boss wait."

I just nod my head and turn around to run upstairs. I quickly grab my things and run back downstairs. My Mom and Dad are waiting at the front door with Fitz and they're all talking. When I arrive they just ignore me so I decide to walk outside and put my bag in Fitz's car.

They follow me outside and continue to talk. I walk back over to them and they are saying their goodbyes. My Dad and Fitz shake hands, "Fitzgerald, it was a pleasure to meet you. I can't tell you how thankful I am to know my daughter is in good hands."

Fitz grins, "She's wonderful. It's my pleasure."

My Mom leans over to hug him, "Fitz, it was a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to seeing you on Saturday and I truly hope we see more of you."

I can't stop myself from smiling. Fitz looks genuinely touched by my mother's words. It makes me feel for him in a way I don't quite understand. My mother is only eleven years older than Fitz but right now he looks like a little boy whose mother just told him she was proud of him. My heart hurts a little when I think about how his mom died when he was only 10. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my mom now let alone what I would have done if I had lost my mom when I was that young. I resist the urge to reach out and take his hand when he pulls away from my mom.

My Dad turns to me, "You think you'll be up for breakfast on Saturday?"

I grin, "Mission Café?"

My Dad laughs, "Of course, where else would we go?" He turns to Fitz, "Fitz, you're more than welcome to join us."

Fitz smiles but shakes his head, "I very much appreciate the offer Eli but Saturday I'm booked. Plus I don't want to make Liv hang out with her boss the whole trip."

I laugh and roll my eyes, "Yes, because you're a horrible, awful, unfair, boss. Not to mention smelly."

Fitz laughs and turns back to my parents, "See, I really keep her around because she keeps me grounded."

My Dad bursts out laughing, "Ace has never been one to sugar coat things and always heavy on the sarcasm, especially with people she likes."

Fitz turns to me, "I guess I'm lucky then."

I can feel my cheeks getting hot and I just try to laugh it off.

We finish our goodbyes and Fitz and I are finally off. When we pull out of the gated community I lean over the armrest and tuck my arm around Fitz's and lay my head on his shoulder. "I can't believe you survived almost a whole day with my parents. You are _really_ in this thing."

"What do you mean _really_ in this thing?"

I shrug, "I don't mean I doubted you or anything, I just mean…my family is a lot to take and you tried so hard. You were so damn charming you even had my Dad eating out of the palm of your hand. I just…I really appreciate how much effort you put into this."

Fitz leans down and kisses my head softly, "Honestly, I really like your family, and my parents have both been gone a long time, I know yours are only eleven years older than me but it was still nice to be around well…parents. They're very proud of you and it's very obvious from the way they talk about you."

I smile, "You know, when you hugged my Mom goodbye you looked like a little boy hugging his own mother."

He laughs, "Yeah, I don't think I've had a motherly hug in a while."

I bite my lip unsure if I want to get into this right now, "I'm pretty sure my Mom figured out that we're seeing each other. I think that hug was her…stamp of approval I guess."

Fitz laughs, "I really hope so, that could make Saturday go much more smoothly."

We head back to the hotel and then to the convention center to get ready. I see Harrison for the first time, he just arrived last night, and I walk up to him.

He smiles at me, "Hey, how did the dinner go?"

I shrug, "It actually went very well."

"That's good. I felt bad I missed it but I think it was for the best."

I nod, "Yeah, you're probably right. But Harrison, thanks for everything. I appreciate everything you've done for us."

He smiles and ruffles my hair, "Anything for my little sister."

We spend the whole day working and end up having dinner with Harrison, Robbie, and Robbie's boyfriend Seth. We finish up early because we're all pretty tired. Robbie and Seth go home, Harrison decides to head out to meet some friends from home, and Fitz and I decide to just go back to our hotel room.

By the time we get to our floor Fitz and I are falling over each other. We can't keep our hands to ourselves and it's a good thing that Fitz's hotel room is a floor above everyone else's so that we don't run the risk of anyone we know seeing us in a compromising position, well except Lauren that is. Her room is on the same floor as Fitz's because I wasn't sure if I would be staying at my parents or not so Fitz had her room put on the same level as his just in case I stayed there and then it wouldn't look suspicious when I snuck off to his room since Lauren knows about us.

We finally get to our room and I am pressed against the hotel room door and Fitz is fumbling around for the key. It would probably be easier if we stopped kissing but we can't seem to break away from each other. He finally finds the key and moves to open the door, still never breaking contact with my mouth, when I hear my name.

"Olivia?" The voice says, clearly not entirely sure if it's me.

I push Fitz back a bit because it has to be one of our co-workers and we are clearly fucked.

The person says my name again and this makes me stop dead in my tracks because now I know who is there.

I turn to look and sure enough, I see my Dad.


	38. Chapter 38

_"Beauty and love pass, I know...Oh, there's sadness, too. I suppose all great happiness is a little sad. Beauty means the scent of roses and then the death of roses."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise_

* * *

My father looks absolutely livid. I mean beyond pissed. I have never seen him this angry in my entire life.

I look at Fitz and he just looks baffled, he obviously has no idea how to handle this either.

My Dad is barreling toward us and he looks like he's going to kill us both.

"What the fuck is going on here?" He screams.

Fitz tries to speak but my Dad shoves him up against the wall. "Why the fuck are you touching my daughter?"

I've never heard my Dad say the word 'fuck' before in my entire life. I'm terrified as I watch him pin Fitz against the wall.

"Daddy, stop. Please." I beg, trying to pull my father away from Fitz.

He then turns to me, "Did he touch you without your consent? Has he made you feel like you have to sleep with him in order to keep your job?"

My mouth drops open, "No! Absolutely not Daddy, please let him go. You're going to hurt him." I'm now crying, "Please don't hurt him Daddy. He has never done anything to hurt me, he wouldn't. Please Daddy, I love him."

My father releases Fitz and turns to me. "Olivia Katherine Pope you're twenty-six years old and he is forty-something. He is your boss. This is not appropriate. You are coming home with me immediately young lady."

"No Daddy, I'm not going anywhere. Why are you even here?"

I can practically see the smoke coming out of my Dad's ears at the audacity of my question, "I was bringing you your cellphone charger. I tried to call you earlier and your phone went to voicemail and then your Mom found this. I thought I'd be a nice father and return it to you." He turns to Fitz and scowls. "Never mind that, I am not leaving you here to sleep with some sexual predator. Get your things right now."

I cross my arms and stand up straighter, "No. Absolutely not and never call Fitz that again. Dad, what the hell is going on? You loved Fitz yesterday."

My Dad scowls again, "Yes because yesterday I was blissfully unaware that my baby daughter was screwing a man closer to my age than her own."

I have never yelled at my father before but for some reason I just can't act rationally right now and I blow up. "We are not _screwing_, Dad. Fitz makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. I love him and he loves me. I'm an adult and I can make my own choices and you don't get to tell me what to do anymore."

My Dad is glaring at me like he's contemplating picking me up and carrying me out of the hotel like a small child who is having a temper tantrum.

He takes a breath and he calmly says, "Olivia Katherine Pope you will come home with me now or you won't come home again."

I'm terrified that my Dad might actually be serious about this but at the same time I know I need to stand my ground. I open my mouth to speak but before I can say anything Fitz interjects, "It's okay Livvy. Go."

My eyes start to water again. "Fitz…" I plead.

He shakes his head, "Always means _always_ Livvy."

I smile through my tears and I nod my head. My father starts to march down the hallway and before I follow him I throw my arms around Fitz and I hug him tightly. "I'm so sorry Fitz."

He kisses my temple, "Everything will be all right Livvy. I love you."

"I love you. Always." I say quietly before I kiss him chastely and then run toward my father who hasn't looked back once.

The car ride back to my parents' house is deathly silent. My father looks livid still and when we get back into the house he slams the door and screams, "MAYA", as loud as he possibly can.

He turns to me, "You, go sit down in my study right now." My Mom pops her head out of the kitchen as I walk past her; she's still smiling because she has no idea what is going on.

She frowns when she sees me, "What's going on? Why are you home Olivia?"

My Dad growls as he follows me, "She is home because when I went to drop off her phone charger I found her in the hallway getting hot and heavy with her boss."

My Mom's eyes open wide and she follows us into the study. "Wait, you mean Fitz?"

My Dad scowls, "Yes. I found our daughter in the a hotel hallway getting groped by a man I let sleep in my pool house the night before because I _thought_ he was a good man."

I can't help myself, I'm crying again. "He _is_ a good man Daddy."

He whips around so that he's facing me with a look of realization on his face and I know this can't be good. "Did you sleep with him in my house?"

My mouth drops open, I do not want to answer this question.

His eyes narrow and he purses his lips. "You did." He starts to laugh and shakes his head as he starts to pace in front of me, "Did I do this? Is this my fault? Is it because I wasn't around much when you were a kid? Am I being punished for not being around when you were kids? I've got one child who's knocked up and now another one heading in that direction. Tell me Olivia because I honestly just don't understand. You are a beautiful girl; you could have anyone you wanted in the entire world. You're stunning Olivia, you always have been. Even when you were a kid people used to do double takes when you walked by. What is going on with you?"

I start to sob and my mother rushes to my side and envelops me in her arms. I finally calm down a little bit, enough to where I can finally breath again and I catch my breath before I open my mouth to speak. "I don't want _anyone_. I want Fitz."

My Dad sits down in a chair and puts his face in his hands. He just sits like that for a moment until he finally looks up, "Do you remember the night you slit your wrist?"

I tense up and I shake my head no. I have very few memories of that night and the ones I have are scattered. "Dad, that was an accident."

My father takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes, "Twenty-two years I spent in the Marine Corps, ten of those as a sniper, and I have never been as terrified as I was that night. I thought you were going to die Olivia. I thought I lost you. And that all happened because you lost a boy you loved. This thing you have going with your boss…it's a recipe for disaster. I can't watch that happen to you again."

I shake my head, "Dad that won't happen again. I was depressed and I had lost the first true friend I ever made. I wasn't in love with Huck, I just loved him."

"You think you're in love with this man?" He asks, surprisingly calmly.

I shake my head, "No Dad, I don't _think_ I'm in love with him. I _know_ I'm in love with him and I know he loves me. He accepts me for all my faults; he likes me for exactly who I am. I am so in love with him that I ache when I'm not with him. I don't care that he's forty-three, he treats me like I'm the most special person in the world. I finally understand everything I've ever read about love and romance. I thought I understood them but then I fell in love for real and it was just like it clicked and everything finally made sense."

My Dad shakes his head, "I don't support this Olivia. This is going to end badly and you're going to spiral and I can't see that again. I don't want you seeing him anymore Olivia. You need to start looking for another job before this gets out and you're un-hirable."

I scowl at him as I stand up, "I already have another job. I was going to tell you in a couple weeks. I'm going to be working at the Pacific Times. Fitz knows the editor of the paper and he gave him my resume a while back. He wants me to have everything I want and he did that before we started sleeping together. How many people would do that for someone they had only known for a few months? I love Fitz. I don't care if you don't support our relationship because I'm an adult and I make my own choices. Maybe it will end badly, that could happen, but at least now I'll have known what it felt like to be truly in love with someone. I know that I could get hurt but it's worth it because this feeling is the best thing in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything."

I walk out of his study; happy that I've stood up for myself, and then I run up to my room and I start to sob. After a little while I sit up to grab my phone because I need to call Fitz but I realize I left it downstairs. Fuck. I can't go back down there and get it without facing my father again and I just can't do that right now. That would be disastrous. Plus it's dead so it won't really do me any good. I haven't had a landline in my room since high school. So I just bury my head in my pillow and start to sob again.

A little while later my door starts to open but I can't bring myself to sit up. I assume it's just my Dad because he's found more reasons to yell at me so I'm surprised when the unmistakable feel of my mother's hand on my back starts to comfort and calm me.

I suppress my sobs and I manage to sit up.

I turn to my mother who is looking at me with what can only be described as absolute pity.

"Is Dad still fuming?"

My Mom nods her head, "I'm so sorry sweetie."

I lean forward and put my head in my hands. "This is the worst day of my life."

My Mom sighs, "Sweetheart, it's all going to be okay."

I look up at her, "Is it? Because I don't think it is. I love Fitz Mom. I mean _really_ love him. I can't breathe without him. Right now I feel like there's this lump in my chest and it's not going to go away until I see him. What Dad did to him, what Dad called him…Mom I don't know if I can forgive him? I understand why he was so protective when we were kids, I get that, but I'm a grown woman and I can make my own choices. I love Fitz and I'm sorry but you and Dad don't get a say in that. I'm finally happy, I've finally found someone who treats me the way you guys told me I deserved to be treated and then Dad goes and acts like this. Mom I…I'm sorry but if he makes me choose…I choose Fitz. He's everything Mom. He's my sun and stars." And with that I start sobbing again.

She pulls me in close to her and starts stroking my back again. "I'm so sorry darling."

She just holds me as I cry for a little while longer and finally I start to calm down. I pull away from my Mom and I try to fix my disheveled appearance. "You knew, didn't you?" I ask calmly.

She purses her lips, "Well, obviously I didn't know for sure but I suspected. I felt something between you."

"How?" I ask quietly, looking down at my hands and fiddle with my ring because I can't face her right now.

She smiles, "Well, the way he looked at you for one. It was like his whole face lit up when he looked at you or you spoke. Then the way he placed his hand on your arm this morning and the way you looked so comfortable. I just suspected there had to be more to your relationship than you were letting on." She pauses, "Okay, maybe it was more than suspected, I definitely knew."

I manage a small laugh and I nod my head and sniffle because I don't know what to say.

My Mom just stays silent for a minute and then reaches out to touch the silver ring on my finger, "Did he give you this?"

I finally manage to look at her. I smile through my tears and nod my head, "It's a family heirloom. His grandfather bought it at auction for his grandmother. It once belonged to a member of the French royal family. It even has a name, it's 'doux bebe' and it means 'sweet baby'. That's what he calls me," I giggle, "sweet baby."

I sniffle and wipe a the tears from my cheeks, "He said he wanted to tell me he loved me the first night we ever spent together but he was afraid he would scare me off."

I take a deep breath and turn to face my mother, "All Dad sees is our age difference and that isn't fair. He's been pushing me toward Jake but how can he not see that I don't love him? Doesn't he want me to be happy?"

My Mom sighs and wraps her arm around my shoulders, "He just…gets his priorities a little mixed up sometimes."

She brushes a rogue strand of hair away from my face, "I want you to be happy, Olive. I think he's good for you. He obviously loves you very much."

I turn to look at her, confusion painted on my face, "How could you possibly know that?"

My Mom laughs, "When I asked him about his girlfriend he kept looking at you. Actually the whole night he kept looking at you and the way he smiled when he looked at you…I just knew he loved you. I wasn't sure you were together until I heard him call you Livvy." She pauses for a moment and she smiles, "You've never let anyone call you that before."

I smile, "With him I just…I feel whole. When I'm with him it's like nothing matters but us. He makes me so happy. I can't imagine waking up and not seeing him He's the most incredible, selfless, kind, person I've ever met. I'm in love with him Mom. This is real and it's not going away. Not ever."

She smiles and brushes a strand of hair away from my face, "I want you to be happy and I'm going to fix this with your father. We have to let him cool down though, you know that, and with everything going on with Victoria he's just more on edge than usual."

I can't help but smile at the mention of my sister and pounce on my chance to change the subject, "You're going to be a grandma."

A thousand watt smile forms on my mother's face, "I can't believe it. I'm so happy."

"You're not upset?"

My Mom shrugs, "You know me. I'm a hippie who just happened to fall in love with a Marine. And anyway, it doesn't matter how a baby comes into the world as long as it comes into this world loved and wanted."

I smile, "You think it's going to be a girl or a boy?"

She laughs, "Well, she told me that Matt has 3 sisters and she has you and Caroline so I would bet on a girl. It would be interesting to see her with a little boy though. She wouldn't know what to do!"

I shake my head and laugh, "Fitz and I were talking about that too. It would be pretty funny seeing her try to raise a boy." I pause, "You know, when Victoria asked me to go up to SF and go to the doctor with her Fitz didn't even hesitate to go with me."

Mom just sits there and nods her head for a minute, "Does he want kids?"

I can feel my face get warm, even though I'm usually very candid with my mother regarding my relationships, I've been so secretive about Fitz that it's a little strange talking to my mother about this, "Yeah, but he's never pressured me and he never would. He really wants kids but he's willing to wait. But we do talk about it. We talk about everything. He's not just a boyfriend; he's my best friend. Whenever anything happens he's the first person I want to talk to. I just love him, Mom. It's that simple. I can't change the way I feel and I'm not going to give up my happiness just because Dad doesn't understand."

My Mom nods her head, "I like him, Olivia. And I like you with him. Ever since you were a kid you always knew exactly who you were. You never let what other people thought dictate what you did or how you did it. You lost a little of that when Huck died. You seemed to retreat into yourself and we didn't know how to help you. When you came back while Grandma was here I saw this glimpse of the real you and I almost didn't believe it. Then you showed up with Fitz and I saw it, the way you looked at him, the way he looked at you." She sighs, "I'm going to discuss this with Dad, I promise. He needs to cool down but I swear I'll fix this. I'm not going to let him ruin our family because he can't get past a silly number."

I grin, "Age is just a limitation you put on yourself."

My Mom grins and starts to laugh, "So you have been listening to me all these years."

I laugh, "Yeah, just don't tell Victoria and Caroline."

She laughs and after a moment she starts to get up, "I'm going to go down and try to talk to your Dad. You need to get some sleep." She gets to the doorway and turns around, "You know Caroline still has a landline in her bedroom."

I smile, "Thanks Mom, I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart." She says before exiting the room.

Once she is out I jump up and run through Caroline and my Jack and Jill bathroom. She isn't home yet. She's probably still at her boyfriend's apartment. I grab her landline and head back into my room. I shut myself in my closet like I used to do when I was a kid and I dial Fitz's number and pray he answers.

To my relief he picks up after the first ring, "Livvy?"

"Hi." I say quietly, no other words will come out.

"Hi." He says, relief flooding his voice.

We're silent for a moment and finally I find my voice, "I'm so sorry, Fitz."

"Sweetheart, don't apologize. You did nothing wrong."

The tears start to fall again, "I'm so, so sorry."

"Livvy, hey sweetheart, don't cry."

I sniffle, "I'm sorry, I just didn't expect this to go quite as badly as it has gone."

"It's fine. I'm not going anywhere."

"I wish you were here with me. I just want you to hold me and tell me everything will be fine."

He sighs, "I wish I could do that too but I think it's best you listen to your Dad right now."

I groan, "I know. I have to stay here but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

He chuckles, "I don't know how I'm going to be able to sleep without you."

I sigh, "I'm going to have to make Caroline snuggle with me."

Fitz bursts out laughing, "Well what I am supposed to do?"

I can't help but laugh too, "Ask Harrison? He might do it if you give him a really good bonus."

Fitz laughs again and it's so comforting that it makes me feel a bit better. "I don't even think that would work." He pauses, "I'll send you a car tomorrow, okay?"

I sigh, "Yeah, sounds good. I'd like to try to talk to my Dad again tomorrow morning and I'm going to try and get up and convince Caroline to surf or paddleboard with me. You don't need me until the afternoon, do you?"

"No, that sounds like a good idea. I'll be in meetings all morning anyway. I'll send a car to pick you up at 1, is that okay?"

"Yeah, I think that will work. Oh and just so you know my phone is dead and I don't know if I'm going to be able to charge it so I might not be reachable." I pause, "And Fitz, thank you for being so good about all this. I know you don't have to be."

He sighs, "Of course I have to be. I love you and I'm always here for you."

"I love you, too. Goodnight Fitz."

"Goodnight, Livvy."

The next morning I wake up and the house is silent. I grab Caroline and we quietly head down to the beach to get our morning surf in and we talk more about everything that went down yesterday. I honestly hadn't realized how much I missed Caroline and my morning paddleboard sessions.

We spend a good portion of the morning out on the water and when we head back up to the house I decide I'm going to find Dad and talk to him after I shower.

When I finish up I head downstairs and find my Mom in the kitchen. "Hi, sweetie. I charged your phone." She says, pointing to the counter.

My eyes light up, "Oh god, thanks Mom. I really appreciate that."

I grab my phone and see there are a few texts from Abby and Lauren but none from Fitz. But I told him I didn't have my phone so I shouldn't expect anything.

"Hey, where's Dad? I was hoping he'd be a little cooler of a customer today and I wanted to talk to him."

My Mom turns to me and frowns, "I'm not sure, honey. He ran out of here about an hour ago. He was muttering something about the office so I don't know when he'll be back."

I frown, "Oh, okay. Um, do you think he's still going to come to the event tonight?"

My mother laughs, "Oh yes, your father will be coming to the event and he will be acting like a gentleman or else he's sleeping on the sofa for the next week."

I can't help but laugh, "Thanks Mom. I appreciate that."

She smiles, "You work hard at your job and we're going to support you. Plus I want to have a chat with Mr. Grant."

I open my mouth to protest but my mother holds her hand up to silence me, "I'm not going to say anything mean. I like the man, remember? I just want to tell him I approve. Hopefully that will begin to make up for your father acting like an errant child."

I stifle a laugh at her phrasing and I step toward her and give her a hug, "Thanks Mom, I love you."

She hugs me tightly, "I love you too, Livia."

I spend the rest of the morning with my Mom and Caroline but I'm becoming concerned that my Dad still hasn't showed up but I shake it off. My Mom said it was about work and I have no reason to think otherwise.

My car comes and I decide to finally text Fitz and let him know I'm on my way back. I don't get a response right away but I'm not going to stress about it. He's probably very busy.

I spend the rest of the day helping Lauren with her final touches and I'm getting more nervous by the minute that I haven't seen Fitz and he hasn't contacted me even once.

Lauren senses my uneasiness and she tries to ask what's going on but I brush her off. I can't talk about this right now or else I'm going to overthink everything.

I still haven't heard from Fitz by the time I go to the room and get ready. There's a note on the bed. It just says he already got ready and he's sorry but he had to deal with an issue regarding the speeches for the night.

I frown but I'm a little glad because at least he has a legitimate reason. I get ready and I decide to meet up with Lauren and we head down to the party.

Everything looks absolutely wonderful and Lauren decides we need drinks right away. There's all kinds of games going on and everyone looks like they are already having an amazing time and that makes me happy since the theme was my idea.

Finally I see Fitz across the room and I practically run over to him. I can't show affection unfortunately because we are in a room with our co-workers but that is not going to stop me from talking to him.

He smiles when he sees me but it's kind of a sad smile, one that doesn't reach his eyes. "Hi Fitz." I whisper.

"Hey Livvy."

It feels…strange between us and I don't like it. "Fitz, are you all right?"

He shakes his head and smiles, "Yeah, sorry Livvy, I'm just a little stressed about this thing."

I smile, "Anything I can do for you?"

He smiles and this time it's genuine, "No sweet baby, I'm okay. I appreciate the thought."

We both catch a client coming toward us and Fitz groans, "You better run away before you get stuck in what is sure to be an awful political debate."

I laugh, "Okay, let me know if you need anything."

He nods, "Thanks Livvy."

The night is fun, my family arrives and my Dad looks incredibly grumpy but he's not saying a word to me. I introduce Caroline to Lauren and they hit it off right away so we head out for some fun together. As the night winds down we're all having drinks and I realize I haven't really seen Fitz all night, not that I could have anyway. He's been extremely busy and I don't really want to be a bother, he's stressed enough whether he wants to admit it or not. I'm looking around the room at all the beautiful people and to be honest being here tonight around all of this glamor feels a little surreal. My little moment is interrupted when out of the corner of my eye I catch Fitz and my father talking and my heart drops. Neither of them looks happy and that doesn't bode well.

I excuse myself and head toward them but I am stopped in my tracks by none other than my ex-boyfriend.

"Jake," I say, honestly shocked to see him here.

"Hey Liv," he says shyly, "You look great."

I smile, "Thanks, you too. Um, no offense but…why are you here?"

"Your Dad got me in. I um, I really need to talk to you?"

I freeze and nod, this does not sound good.

"He called me this morning. He told me what happened last night and he told me that he thinks we should be together."

I open my mouth to interrupt, "Jake…"

He stops me, "Wait, Liv, just let me finish?"

I purse my lips and nod. I do owe him that.

"He wanted me to come tonight to profess my love for you and tell you we were meant to be together and remind you that I was a better match for you and to be honest I was initially onboard. But then I thought about it and decided to call your Mom. I talked to her and I asked her about your boyfriend and she made me see the light. I just want you to be happy, Liv. If he makes you happy then forget what your Dad or anyone else thinks." He pauses, "I do still love you, Liv. But that's my problem."

I can't help but laugh at this comment and thank god he laughs too. He continues, "I just want to see you happy. You deserve to be happy and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever stood in the way of that. I want us to be able to be friends and as much as it hurts to think about you being in love with someone else, the thought of not having you in my life at all is so much worse. You've never been good at doing what other people think you should do. Don't start now."

I know I'm grinning like an idiot. This guy, this is the Jake Ballard I liked so much when I first met. I throw my arms around his neck and I kiss him on the lips one last time. It's not a romantic kiss; it's just to show him how thankful I am. It only lasts a moment but after that I just continue to hug him. I feel like such an emotional weight has been lifted off me. I finally pull back, "Thank you, Jake. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that."

Jake smiles, "Go get your guy, Liv. You deserve it."

I walk away from him and head in the same direction but Fitz and my father are no longer there. I search around a little and I can't seem to happen. I finally find Lauren and I ask her, "Hey, have you seen Fitz?"

Lauren practically spits out whatever appetizer she's snacking on, "No, no, no! First you have to tell me what the hell just happened with Jake?"

I laugh, "Just two friends making up. I'll tell you more later but right now I need to find Fitz.

Lauren shrugs, "He was talking to your Dad a minute ago but he just disappeared."

My heart feels like someone is filling it with concrete. "He did?"

She nods, "Yeah…why, what happened?"

"Did he look upset?"

She frowns, "A little bit, why?"

Inside I am freaking out but I don't have time to tell Lauren everything that's happened in the last twenty-four hours, "I'll tell you later, I promise. But right now I have to find him."

Lauren nods without any hesitation, "Yeah, you go that way I'll go this way."

"Thanks Lauren." I say, giving her hand a quick squeeze before running to the doors.

I burst through them and run through the lobby quickly because I don't see him anywhere. I make it outside and I finally spot him getting into a limo.

But he's not alone.

He's helping a woman get into the limo and she turns and smiles at him, laughing as she gets into the limo. It's Mellie.

I can't believe it. He's laughing along with her as he follows her into the limo and they drive off.

I don't know what to do. My body feels like someone just shoved a knife through my heart and I can barely get myself two steps over to the wall so that I can slide down it and melt into a puddle of tears on the ground.


	39. Chapter 39

_"When you're older you'll know what people who love suffer. The agony. It's better to be cold and young than to love. It's happened to me before but never like this—so accidental—just when everything was going well."_

_~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night_

* * *

I don't know how long I've been sitting against the wall outside, I've been in a daze and I can't seem to make sense of anything right now. I can't control my tears and right now it seems as though they'll never stop. All of a sudden someone is kneeling next to me and shaking my shoulder gently. I look up and I see Lauren. She looks extremely concerned, "Liv? What's going on? What the hell happened?"

I try to speak but I find myself unable to form words and I start to hyperventilate.

"Okay sweetie, we need to get you inside right now." Lauren says and I can detect the panic in her voice.

I try to take a deep breath to calm myself down and I shake my head, "No," I finally manage to say, "I can't…I can't go back in there."

Lauren frowns, "Sweetie, you don't have to go back into the party, just let me take you inside?"

I shake my head, "No, just…just get my Mom. _Please_." I beg.

"I can't leave you out here like this, Liv. Come on, we'll sneak into the lobby bathroom and I'll get her."

I know she's not going to budge on this so I reluctantly try to stand up. But my legs feel like jelly and I can't seem to find my footing so I take off my pumps. Lauren helps pull me up but I still feel shaky. I hold on tight to her as we walk back into the hotel and she takes me right to the bathroom as promised. It's one of those swanky hotel bathrooms with individual bathroom areas so you get a private toilet, sink, and lounge. I sit down on the lounge and Lauren promises she's going to be right back.

I just nod my understanding. I don't know what to think right now. I don't know what the hell just happened. What made him leave with her? Maybe it's totally innocent but how can it be? He doesn't even like her. Did he see me kiss Jake? But even so, me kissing Jake so innocently would not be reason enough for him to get up and leave without a word. He might be annoyed but it certainly wouldn't be enough for him to break his promise. I shake my head, trying to push that awful thought away. Then it hits me; my Dad must have said something to him. But what the hell could he have said to make him leave without even a word? My Dad has always been a little overprotective but he's never actually tried to hurt me. Yeah he's a little hotheaded but he cools down, my Mom sees to that.

All of a sudden there's a knock on the bathroom door and I hear, "Olive, can I come in?"

"Yeah," I whisper just loudly enough for her to hear me.

The door opens and she just has the most pitiful look on her face, "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry." She sits down next to me and wraps her arm around me. I feel like a little koala clinging to its mother. I just sit like that for a little while and let myself calm down to the soothing circles she's rubbing on my back. But then I realize something, this is my mother and she is the eternal optimist, why isn't she convincing me this isn't what I think it is?

I pull away from her, "What…what do you know that I don't?"

She purses her lips like she doesn't want to tell me and I back away further. "You have to tell me." I whisper, my voice timid and shaky.

She reaches out to grab my hand but I just pull it away and she sighs, "Olivia, just calm down."

I shake my head, "Mom, what the hell is going on?"

She shakes her head, "Your Dad had a 180 mood swing. I knew something was going on so…well I'll save you the details of me threatening him…but he told Fitz you were still in love with Jake and that if Fitz really loved you he'd put your needs first and he'd stop wasting your time and let you go back to the life you were supposed to lead."

I don't know what to say, I just stare at her unable to comprehend the ramifications of my father's absurd actions.

She continues, "He thought Jake was coming to tell you he still wanted to be with you and he used that opportunity as leverage to convince Fitz you still had feelings for Jake as well."

I shake my head, "But Jake didn't try to get me back, he told me he wanted me to be happy even if it was with Fitz and not him."

My Mom sighs, "I know, he called me this afternoon and told me. I didn't even think your father would consider going behind your back to talk to Fitz too. I'm so sorry, sweetie. I should have stopped him."

Now I just feel enraged. I don't know where all this anger is coming from because I've never felt it before. I get up and storm out of the bathroom. I think my Mom and Lauren are too stunned at what I'm doing for it to register quickly enough to follow me right away and by then I'm out of the bathroom and running toward the ballroom. I scan the room and after a minute I find my father talking to someone by the bar. I march over there, barefoot and holding the end of my dress in my hand. I turn to the man my father is talking to and I say sweetly, "I'm so sorry but I need to borrow my father, it's an emergency."

I don't even wait for a reply and I pull my father into the hallway.

He looks almost jovial and it makes me want to slap him. "What's going on, Olivia?" He asks, feigning ignorance.

I roll my eyes at him; I don't have the strength to play this game. I start to speak and I'm honestly shocked at how calm and collected I sound. "You are so concerned with losing me you can't even see past your own fear to recognize that I'm really, truly happy for the first time in years. For someone who has seen so much of the world you really have no idea how narrow your world view is, do you? You can have an opinion on my life, that's your right as my father, but what you have no right to do is impose it on me through silly tricks like I'm some case you're trying to win. I am not your little girl anymore. I am all grown up and I am responsible for myself. So congratulations, in your misguided quest to keep me under your wing you've done the opposite and you've lost me forever. Goodbye, Dad."

He's completely speechless but I don't care. I turn around and walk away. I go back up to Fitz and my hotel room and I immediately go to one of his oxford's that is hanging over a chair. I toss my beautiful dress to the ground, not even caring that it's going to get wrinkled. I put on Fitz's shirt and I crawl into bed. I grab my phone and I dial his number. It goes straight to voicemail. I can't believe he's turned his phone off. "Fitz, call me, _please_." I beg, "I need to talk to you. You have to let me explain. None of this is what you think. My Dad is just trying to get into your head. _Please_ Fitz, I love you."

I don't know what else to say so I hang up the phone and I just let myself cry. I don't want to think about what he's doing. I have to believe he's just mad and cooling off, I _have_ to believe that or else I'm going to lose my mind.

I cry myself to sleep and when I wake up the next morning I find that I'm still alone and my heart sinks. I grab my phone off the charger and I see I have about 10 missed calls and about 30 missed texts all from my Mom, Caroline, and Lauren but nothing from Fitz. I had set my phone to 'do not disturb' save for Fitz's number. I feel a little guilty about that as I listen to the messages. I should have at least told them I was all right. I send them all texts saying I'm okay but I don't want to talk right now. I just need to stay here and wait for Fitz to come back.

I just lie in bed for a little while, it's like my brain is in a fog and I don't know what to do or think. I try to concentrate on what I learned in therapy, I can't let this sadness take over. I am stronger than this pain.

I think about how I reacted to my Dad, I'm oddly proud of the way I stood up for myself. A few of the missed calls were from my Dad but I didn't even listen to his messages. I just deleted them.

I get out of bed and decide I need to shower. I am rummaging around in the bathroom and I accidentally knock over a glass container. It crashes to the ground and shatters around me.

I groan, now I have to clean this up. I carefully hop out of the bathroom and slip on a pair of thick-soled tennis shoes so I don't step on any glass. I pick up all the big pieces of glass first and toss them in the trash. As I'm doing this all I can think about is I'm in a situation that terrifies my father to his very core: the idea that I might take one of these glass shards and actually manage to end my life. I pick up a particularly sharp piece and it cuts my finger just a little bit, enough so a small drop of blood seeps out. I just stare at it and I remember that feeling. When Huck died I was so depressed for so long it started to feel like I would never feel anything ever again. Cutting my wrist had been disturbingly cathartic. I didn't do it to kill my self, though no one believed that, I just wanted to feel again. I remember running the bottle over my wrist and watching the blood run down my arm, dripping in pools onto the floor. I was all at once completely present in my own body and floating above myself. When the blood came the pain was almost a relief, reminding me I'm human. I rinse the blood off my hand and grab a bandaid then continue cleaning. As bad as this last 36 hours have been there's a part of me that feels stronger than I've ever been. I can survive this and I will make Fitz forgive me and I'm fully prepared to not speak to my father again until he sincerely apologizes to Fitz. In the last year I have found strength within myself I didn't even know existed. I've grown up. Being with Fitz certainly made me grow up, but he never forced it. He facilitated it and I needed someone for that. I clean up and take my shower. I'm dismayed when I see no calls or texts from Fitz yet but then I hear the door open.

I run over hoping to see Fitz but unfortunately, its just Harrison. I frown, "Harrison, why are you here?"

He in turn looks surprised that I'm here, "Liv, I didn't know you were here. Sorry, um Fitz sent me to get his things."

My heart breaks a little bit at his statement, "Why can't he get them himself?"

Harrison sighs, "He's in Carmel."

Now I feel like someone is drilling a hole in my heart, "He's in Carmel?" My voice laced with disbelief.

"Liv, that's all he told me." He pauses for a minute to study me, "Did something happen between you two?"

I can't help myself when I burst out crying at his question. He pulls me over to him and wraps his arms around me, "Shh Ace, it's going to be okay. Whatever happened he just needs some time."

I shake my head and just let myself cry. Finally after I calm down a bit Harrison pulls back and leads me to the bed so I can sit down. He sits down next to me and takes my hand in his, "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

I sigh and I end up telling him everything. By the end he looks shocked, "Wow, I mean I didn't think your Dad would take the news well but I didn't think he'd overreact that much."

I nod, "I know, I can't believe him. I mean I get why he was mad after the way he found out about us…but I can't believe he would actually sabotage my relationship. He's so concerned with losing me it's like he can't see that he's the one driving me away."

"I'm sorry, Liv. But your Mom will talk some sense into him and Fitz will come around, he loves you."

I manage a small smile, "I thought I was just a fling?"

He laughs, "I know I said that but I was wrong. Being with you guys last night and then the way he got so upset by all this…he loves you. I'm sure of that."

I try to stop the tears from coming and so I decide to distract myself, "Here, I'll help you get his things together."

I help Harrison get Fitz's things together and I decide if Fitz is in Carmel there's no sense in me staying here. I need to get back to San Jose, I need to talk to Abby, and I don't want to risk seeing my father again.

I manage to get my flight changed and by the afternoon I'm in San Jose. I'm dismayed when Abby isn't home; when I talked to her and explained everything before I left I forgot she mentioned she had a seminar today and I told her not to skip it. I head into my room and I just lie on my bed. I don't even know what to do anymore. I've tried to call Fitz again and again but he isn't picking up. Should I go to Carmel? I really just need Abby right now. As I lie on my bed I can't stop fiddling with my rings. They feel strange on my fingers, almost like they don't belong there anymore. I've taken them off and placed them in my jewelry box at least five times but after a couple minutes anxiety takes over my body and I run back because not wearing them is so much more painful than wearing them. I decide to grab a chain from my necklace hook. I put the rings on it and fasten it securely around my neck. I stick the rings inside my shirt. I don't want to have to see them, I just need to know they're there.

I call him one more time and still no answer. I'm about ready to cry again so I find the recording he made for me a few weeks ago. I'm surprised when I find two recordings. The first one is the one I made him record but I've never seen the second one before. I have no idea what it is so I tap it and immediately I hear Fitz's voice.

"Hey Livvy, this is your devastatingly handsome boyfriend speaking to you. I see you've found the message I secretly recorded for you. I bet it will creep you out to know I'm recording this while I watch you sleep. And I bet you just rolled your eyes and muttered 'pervert' to yourself, didn't you? You did. Anyway, I figured you'd go back to listen to that recording you blackmailed me into making at some point so I thought I'd give you a surprise. I doubt I'm going to say anything you don't already know, but sometimes I think we all just need some validation. So here goes: Livvy, you are my everything. Honestly, you make life worth living. I adore everything about you from the way you purse your lips when you're concentrating on something really hard to the way you play with the ends of your hair when you're tired. You're my world Olivia Pope and the happiness you've blessed me with has been the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. I'll love you forever Livvy, don't ever forget that."

And with that I burst out crying. I'm sobbing so violently that I can't breathe and I just close my eyes tightly and sink into the sadness.

I must have fallen asleep because I feel a hand on my back and as I open my eyes I'm disoriented. I see Abby above me and I sit up. "Hey, when did you get home?"

"About an hour ago. I didn't want to wake you." She just sits there for a minute silently as if she's assessing my mental state. "I'm really sorry all this is happening, Liv. Have you gotten ahold of Fitz?"

I feel the tears start to threaten and I shake my head, "No, he won't call me back. If he would just let me explain…I just don't understand all this. What could my Dad have possibly said to him to make him actually believe we're better off apart?" I start to cry now and Abby pulls me close.

"Oh Liv, I'm so sorry." She just holds me for a little while and lets me cry. I calm down and Abby decides we need some tea and so we head to the kitchen. She makes the tea and we just sit there in a comfortable silence. I'm beyond grateful for Abby in my life, she always knows what to say—or in this case what not to say. When the kettle whistles she pours us both cups and we sit down. We're silent for a little while longer until I break the silence, "What should I do?"

Abby grins, Liv, go get him. Make him listen to you. You guys love each other and I may not know a lot about love but what I do know is that love allows for forgiveness. You love each other; don't let this ruin the rest of your lives. Since you've moved here I've seen you change, and it all didn't start with Fitz although he definitely helped. You being out on your own, figuring out what you want and who you are has helped you gain this killer confidence. You would have never stood up to your Dad like this if this were last year. You've grown so much, Liv. I don't believe in fate but I believe the people we meet help us become who we are supposed to be. This amazing, strong women you've become, that's who you're supposed to be. You and Fitz can get through this. I believe that and deep down, no matter how hurt you're feeling, I know you believe it too."

I smile for what feels like the first time in a year. Abby is right. This year I've changed more than I realize. I am strong and I can get through this.

Fitz still isn't answering my phone calls so I go into work Monday morning ready to talk to him. I arrive at work early so I'm not surprised he isn't here yet. I try to pass the time as best I can but I can't help watching the clock. Finally at 10 Fitz isn't here yet and so I go out to Martha's desk to ask where he is.

"Oh Liv, I'm sorry. I figured he had told you. He's not coming in today."

I thank her for the information and head back into my office. I want to cry but I know I can't at work. I take a deep breath and I calm myself down. I can get through this.

The next two days are the same thing and I am getting to the point where I am much less confident than I was when I talked to Abby on Sunday. He's still not answering my phone calls and truth be told I am losing my confidence by the minute. I decide to be impulsive. I am not going to give up without a fight.

I drive out to his house first. I'm pretty sure he's in Carmel but I don't want to drive all the way there if he's actually at home. I use my key at his house and to be honest it feels strange, like I don't really belong there anymore but I shake the feeling.

He wasn't at his house, as I suspected so I head out to Carmel. So much is running through my head along my drive and I want to plan out what I'm going to say but I can't seem to get my thoughts straight. But being impulsive is what started this relationship in the first place so maybe it's what can save it.

I arrive around 8 PM and it's still kind of light out but Fitz's house looks dark. I don't have a key so I debate whether or not to use the garage door code or knock on the door. I doubt he will answer if I knock on the door so I opt for the practically breaking in. I feel like a creep doing this but I have to talk to him. The front of his house is dark so I walk through to the kitchen. I see a light on in his sunroom and so I head out there. I can see him sitting on a chair and I get closer I see a glass of scotch in his hand. I take a deep breath and I make myself known, "Fitz?" I say quietly.

He turns around and looks at me, "What the hell are you doing here Olivia?"

His harsh words sting more than I anticipated but I step into the room anyway. I get a good look at him finally. His fiercely blue eyes are gleaming in an almost cobalt blue. This was one of the first things I discovered about Fitz upon meeting him, his eyes change color with his emotions. When he's happy they look almost green, like the color of the Aegean Sea, like the happiness is radiating off of him and you just want to dive into the perfection. When he is frustrated they turn dark blue, like pools of forbidden water that lead to a bottomless abyss. When he's concentrating they are light blue, like the sky, open and honest and endless. Now I know what they looked like when he's heartbroken. This sadness, I created it, and that idea is driving a knife through my heart.

We sort of just stare at each other for a bit he has always been the one who knows what to say but this time we both know it's up to me to make the first move.

"I needed to talk to you. I need to explain what happened." I say, quietly so he can barely hear me.

His eyes get even bluer and it almost looks like he's going to cry. I give him a chance to speak but he remains silent so I continue talking. "I am so sorry about my Dad. I don't know exactly what he said to you but I can only imagine he made you feel like the bad guy, like you're keeping me from living up to my potential, but that isn't true. He has no idea what he's talking about. I am so sorry he made you doubt my love for you. I don't know what he said to you about Jake but I can assure you that none of it is true. Yes, I kissed him and I'm sorry about that but it wasn't what you think. It was a goodbye kiss for two people who dated for about five years but it was nothing more. I know I wasn't completely forthcoming to you regarding our relationship history, but I told you when I saw Jake and I wasn't lying when I said we were over for good."

Fitz just keeps staring at me and I am beginning to lose my cool because this clearly isn't working and I'm freaking out that he really is done with me, "I am sorry about this and I'll never stop being sorry because you never deserved this, you are the most wonderful person I've ever known and I love you, Fitz. I love you." Now silent tears are running down my face.

I take a deep breath, "You might be angry right now, but I'm angry too. You just left, you didn't even ask me what was going on. You just took my Dad's word for everything. You're the one who wanted us to communicate better and now you're the one shutting down and running away. And to make everything worse you left with Mellie. I don't know if you did that specifically to hurt me but I am trying to act like an adult here and you're acting like a child by running away and ignoring my attempts to get into contact with you. I want to fix this but I can't be the only one trying. I've tried to apologize and I've tried to make things right but you won't let me so if you really don't want to be with me anymore then just put me out of my misery."

He's still silent and so I pause and take a breath before I say the last of what I need to say.

"I do hope that you can forgive me though, if not now then maybe someday, maybe you'll even want to be with me again because I know that I will never stop wanting to be with you. I will never stop loving you. You said to me once that you felt alone with everyone until you met me, that you hated the constant loneliness, but you're choosing it now, you're making that choice for yourself. We both made mistakes and you know that. You know, even before you told me you loved me I believed you did because of the way you treated me but if it's all so easy for you to let go without even a fight then maybe I was wrong, maybe I just wanted to believe that you loved me because I was so amazed that someone like you could love someone like me. Maybe it was all just some fairytale story in my head I convinced myself was reality and maybe you didn't really love me, but I really loved you, I still love you, I will always love you and I will never be able to forget you. I'm sorry for everything, Fitz."

The tears are crashing down like a storm on my cheeks and I turn to leave when I hear him say, so quiet it's almost inaudible, "Livvy, wait…"

* * *

Again, don't panic! I am a woman with a plan! Let me know what you think of this chapter?! I was SUPER nervous about the response to the last chapter but most of them were soooo incredibly sweet and they made me so happy reading them. Though I almost didn't post this tonight because two people made dick comments about the increasing length of time in-between my posts and to be honest even if you were joking, that's just not cool. I have two jobs and I travel a ton for both of them. If I got paid to write I would only be writing all the damn time. But I have to pay rent and I actually love both of my jobs. Plus, I love a cliffhanger. If I tie it all up neatly every chapter it's not fun. So, sorry to sound like an asshole about that, but it's just how I feel.

Another important thing I need to say, Olivia's inner monologue about her feelings when she slit her wrist…those feelings are from my own personal experience and that was pretty hard for me to write so please don't tell me she is wrong to be feeling those things, or she wouldn't be feeling that, etc. Those are my personal experiences and I don't need to be scolded or 'corrected'. Thanks for your understanding.

MOST IMPORTANTLY….THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading this. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you keep coming back even though this has taken me so long to finish. Your support truly means the world to me. There's only a couple chapters left which is CRAZY! I do have some sequel chapters written though…so if there's enough interest once this story is over I'll start looking at it more seriously.

Anyway, sorry this is so long and know you're a beautiful, glorious unicorn if you've read this far and I love you! Not sure when I'll post the next chapter. I'm leaving Wednesday for a work trip and then visiting my parents for a couple days. Then another work trip, so sometimes I find I have a lot of writing time on work trips and sometimes I have none. We'll see how they go but I'll try hard to get it up soon!

Again, THANK YOU FOR READING AND LEAVE ME SOME LOVE!

Hugs &amp; high fives, Hazel


End file.
